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THE CONFLICT AND THE VICTORY OF LIFE. 



MEMOIR 



OP 







MRS. CAROLINE P; KEITH, 



MISSIONARY OF THE 



PROTESTANT EPISCOPAL CHURCH TO CHINA. 



EDITED BY HER BROTHER 



WILLIAM C. TENNEY 



"This is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith." — St. John. 
" Thanks he to God, who giyeth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ"- 
St. Paul. 



NEW YORK: 
D. APPLETON AND COMPANY, 443 & 445 BROADWAY. 

LONDON : 16 LITTLE BRITAIN. 
1864. 



3V31-Z7 



Enteeed, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1864, by 

D. APPLETON & COMPANY, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern District 

of New York. 



^ 



SJ 



TO THE MEMORY 

OF 

MY MOTHER, 

&jjis Ijfemoir 



IS DEDICATED 



WITII THE DEEPEST AFFECTION 



AND GRATITUDE, 



PREFACE. 



I have felt it to be a sacred duty to the memory of 
my sister, to give to the public a memoir of her life. 

The readers of this book will judge for themselves, 
whether or not, in the design itself and in the carrying it 
out, my decision is to be commended. 

The fatal conflagration and shipwreck of the " Golden 
Gate " doubtless destroyed all the letters ever addressed 
to my sister by friends in this country, not one being now 
to be found. 

In the autumn of 1852 she writes, " I have now been 
two years and eight months away from America, and in 
that time have written three hundred and twenty-five 
letters to more than fifty different persons, receiving in 
return two hundred." The whole number of her cor- 
respondents, regular and occasional, from her girlhood to 
her death, was probably not less than one hundred. The 
names of scarcely more than one fifth of these are to be 
found in the following pages. The remainder I have not 
been able to ascertain. Many carefully prepared and 
interesting letters (some of them not inferior, to say the 
least, to any in this book) cannot now be recovered. 



VI PREFACE. 

Let it also be remembered that, for the mod part, 
letter writing was only her recreation amid her toils, and 
it will at once be inferred that, intellectually, she is far 
from being fully represented in this work. 

Yet her inmost heart is here revealed, written as the 
contents of these pages were to her nearest kindred, her 
dearest friends, her most frequent correspondents. 

My great perplexity, after all, has been in selecting 
from the five or six hundred (most of them long and 
closely written) letters, that have lain before me in the 
preparation of this work. Desirous, and even anxious, 
as I was, to avoid making this a bulky book, repeated 
excisions have not permitted me to leave it shorter than 
it is. 

For myself, I have never forgotten that I was not an 
author, but an editor, whose duty (it has also been my 
pleasure) is to allow the subject of his memoir to speak 
for herself, without intrusion of his own opinions, or criti- 
cism of hers. I thank a kind Providence that I have 
been permitted to pay this tribute to the memory of a 
beloved sister, for whom, 



; Fought the fight, the victory won, 
Death is swallowed up of life." 



CONTENTS. 



PART I. 

TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 

GIRLHOOD— SCHOOLDAYS — LIFE AS TEACHER— RELIGIOUS PERPLEXITIES — PERSONAL 
TRIALS — DEVOTES HERSELF TO A MISSIONARY LIFE. 

CHAPTER I. 

1821—1838. 

Childhood— Early Influences— Schooldays in Derry— Death of Parents— Removal 
from her Native Home, Page 1 

CHAPTER II. 

1839, 1840, 1841. 

Three Years in Danvers, Cambridge, and Charlestown — Joins the Unitarian 
Church — Spends a Year at the Charlestown Female Seminary — Prepares 
herself to become a Teacher, . . 10 

CHAPTER III. 

A YEAR IN SOUTH CAROLINA. 

1841—1842. 

First Impressions of the Episcopal Church — Acquaintance with Rev. T. B. Gal- 
lagher, . 14 

CHAPTER IV. 

ONE YEAR IN NEW YORK CITY. 

1843. 
Religious Doubt and Indecision, . ... . . . . . . .17 



Vlll CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER V. 

A YEAR AND A HALF IN TXPPEB TIEGINIA. 

1844—1845. 

PAGE 

Solitude— Impressions of Slavery— Religious Perplexity continues, . . . .19 

CHAPTER VI. 

LIFE IN LOUISVILLE. 

1845—1847. 

Meeting with her former Pastor, Rev. Mr. Gallagher— Unites with the Episcopal 
Church— Reasons for this Step — Marriage Engagement, 31 

CHAPTER VII. 

TWO YEAES IN LOWER VIRGINIA. 

1847—1849. 

Deepening Dislike to Slavery— Desertion by her Betrothed— Severe Mental Con- 
flicts and Spiritual Struggles, 43 

CHAPTER VIII. 

OCTOBER, 1849 — AUGUST, 1850. 

Determination to he a Missionary — Interesting Statement of her Reasons — Selects 
China for her Field of Labor — Becomes the Missionary of the Church of the 
Holy Trinity, Brooklyn, N. Y., to the Protestant Episcopal Mission at Shanghai 
—Voyage— Religious Experience on the Voyage- -Arrival at Shanghai, . . 65 



PART II. 

MISSIONARY LIFE. 
CHAPTER I. 

AUGUST, 1850 — MARCH, 1852. 

First Impressions — Commencement of her Work — Earnest Missionary Appeals 
to Friends in America — Severe Bereavement in the Death of her Brother's 
Wife — Confession of her Struggles on Leaving America — Missionary Labors 
and Trials— Defence of Missions and Missionaries— Chinese Customs and 
Character— Vicissitudes in the Mission, . . 90 



CONTENTS. IX 

CHAPTER II. 

APRIL, 1852 SEPTEMBER, 1853 

PAGK 
Months of Severe Trial— Missions, Missionaries, and Missionaries 1 "Wives— Re- 
marks on the Life of Margaret Fuller Ossoli— Journal at the " Hills"— Journal 
of Missionary Labor— Perils from the Rebellion— Translations into Chinese— 
"'Assurance of Faith" — Theological Tendencies Criticized— The Church — 
The "Development" Theory, .153 

CHAPTER III. 

SEPTEMBER, 1853 — DECEMBER, 1854. 

Engagement to Rev. Cleveland Keith — Sketch of Mr. Keith— Battles between 
Imperialists and Rebels in and near Shanghai — Destruction of Part of the 
City — Alarm of the other Missionaries, •who take Refuge in the Episcopal 
Mission — Marriage with Mr. Keith — Sickness of her Husband — Glowing 
Eulogy on the Episcopal Services and Order— Review of her Life in China — 
Notice of Mr. Keith, * . 203 

CHAPTER IV. 

1855—1856. 

Quiet Restored in Shanghai — Letter of Consolation to a Bereaved Friend — Sick- 
ness — Housekeeping Trials — Visit to the Interior — Report of her Girls' School 
for 1855— Report to the Bishop of her Boys' School for 1855— Earnest Plea 
for China — An Experience of 1848 Recited — Failing Health of Mr. and Mrs. 
Keith — Defects of Unitarianism— Christ our Redemption, Justification, Sanc- 
tification— " Unspiritual Cares " — Embarkation for America, .... 231 

CHAPTER V. 

1857, 1858, 1859. 

On the Ocean and in America — Report (written at sea) of Missionary Labor in 
1856— Sufferings on the Voyage Home — Arrival in America— Letter to a Young 
Lady— Sin, in the Bible, "the Great Fact of Human Life" — Deficiency of 
Unitarianism — "Wants Satisfied in the Episcopal Church — " Aspiration " — 
History of her Consecration to Missionary Life — Deepening of her Religious 
Experience — Farewell to America — Hardships and Sufferings on the Return 
to China— Arrival at Shanghai, 267 

CHAPTER VI. 

1860—1861. 

Diary— Renewed Alarms and Perils from the Rebels— Letter to her Niece — Re- 
port of Labors in 1860— Consternation on hearing of the Troubles in America— 
Embarrassmenta of the Mission— Letter to a Friend on professing Christ — 



X CONTENTS. 

PAGE 

" Confirmation"—" Prayer"— Letter to a Young Friend on her Education- 
Letter on Complete Sanctificat.ion— The Civil War in America— Slavery- 
Matured Views on the best Method of Missionary Instruction — Murder of 
Missionaries — Tribute to Rev. Dr. Bridgman — Long and able Letter to her 
Brother on Theological and Ecclesiastical Topics, 292 

CHAPTER VII. 
1862. 

Sickness and its Experiences— Winter Voyage to Japan— Sinking Health— Fare- 
wells from the Deathbed — Voyage to San Francisco — Death — Destruction of 
the " Golden Gate " by Fire, and Death of Mr. Keith 338 

CHAPTER VIII. 

Summary of her Character — Testimonials— Interment in Greenwood Cemetery, . 876 



PAET I. 

TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 

GIRLHOOD — SCHOOLDAYS — LIFE AS TEACHER — RELIGIOUS PERPLEXITIES — PER- 
SONAL TRIALS — DEVOTES HERSELF TO A MISSIONARY LIFE. 



CHAPTER 7. 

1821—1838. 

Childhood— Early Influences— Schooldays in Derry— Death of Parents— RemovA 

from her native Home. 

Caroline Phebe Tenney was born in New Market, in the 
County of Rockingham, New Hampshire, on the 13th day of 
May, 1821. 

She was the only daughter — and the younger of two chil- 
dren — of William and Phebe (Wheeler) Tenney ; her brother, 
who writes these lines, being nearly four years her senior. 

Our father was a native of Hollis, N. H., a graduate of Dart- 
mouth College of the year 1808, and a member of the New 
Hampshire bar. His ancestors were of the Puritan stock, the 
first of the name in this country being members of a colony of 
Puritans who came from Yorkshire, Eng., as early as 1639, and 
settled on a spot in Essex County, Mass., to which, from their old 
home, they gave the name of Rowley. From my earliest recol- 
lection, he was a man of slender health, and, consequently, vari- 
able and frequently depressed spirits, needing, amid the anxieties 
and vicissitudes of his life, just the support and solace which he 
found in the companion of his days. 

Our mother, with deficient early advantages, and with some 
faults, lying, as did those of her daughter, on the surface of the 
1 



2 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

character, was, nevertheless, a woman of decided mark and abil- 
ity. Of quick and sharp discernment, fastidious in her choice of 
friends, but devoted in her attachments, with excellent practical 
judgment and executive talent, capable of making great sacrifices 
for those she loved, of quenchless determination, energy, and per- 
severance in whatever she undertook, she ministered with unflag- 
ging hope, and tireless, unrepining fidelity, to the wants of an 
invalid and somewhat desponding husband, till, her excellent con- 
stitution imperceptibly undermined, she sank, as in a moment, 
into the grave before him. 

From her my sister inherited the industry, energy, persistency 
of purpose, which were subsequently so noticeable in her life, as 
from our paternal line she derived her love of the school and the 
church. 

Our parents were married in 1815, in Salem, N. H. (our 
mother's native town), and immediately removed to the place of 
their future residence. The town, in itself small and socially 
uninviting, was, in several particulars, not an unfavorable location 
for a young lawyer of delicate health, and beginning the world 
with slender pecuniary means. The introduction of the cotton 
manufacture, eight years subsequently, largely increased the popu- 
lation of the place, and permanently promoted its prosperity. In 
that prosperity our father participated (with the engagements of 
his profession, to which his ill health forbade him to confine him- 
self, interspersing other occupations), attaining, though not afflu- 
ence, yet a competence, from which, spite of some subsequent 
reverses and unfortunate investments toward the close of his life, 
he was able to educate liberally his children, and leave them a 
small inheritance. 

Our village, with the sudden growth and prosperity, was, also, 
not without the disadvantages and perils to the young incident to 
a new manufacturing town. Restricted means, in the first in- 
stance, had led our father thither; ill health forbade him to 
change, in middle life, and with a young family, his place of resi- 
dence. To speak with plainness, yet within measure, its influ- 
ences and tendencies, social, mental, and moral, were always far 
from being desirable or salutary. With tender and unintermit- 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 3 

ting watch, our parents, striving to protect their children against 
the temptations which were on every side, felt it to be their duty 
to adopt with them an isolating and restraining policy, that, to 
the subjects of it, seemed severe and often needless. Experience 
and reflection afterward convinced us that, under the circum- 
stances, they were right ; and blessed be their memories for that 
strict and faithful care ! Yet sad is the alternative which neces- 
sitates such seclusion, with its consequent introverting of child- 
hood's sympathy and love, longing to give and to receive. The 
thoughtful reader will not fail to attribute some of the peculiari- 
ties in my sister, brought to his view in the following pages, to 
the necessary one-sidedness of early training. 

To the older and even the middle-aged readers of this me- 
moir it is needless to say, that educational advantages were then 
inferior to those of the present day. Those of our town were 
probably neither better nor worse than the average in Southern 
New Hampshire. The common schools at that day did but little 
for their pupils. Academies, with rare exceptions, were not of a 
high grade. Our own education was, up to a certain period, con- 
ducted mainly at home. There, except a very few weeks spent 
at a small academy, I was fitted 1 for college under my father's 
supervision, becoming, at sixteen, a student at Phillips's Exeter 
Academy, only to fulfil the requirements of the freshman year 
at Harvard, preparatory to entering the sophomore class. There, 
too, though less exclusively, my sister pursued her studies up to 
her sixteenth year, when she was sent to a seminary for young 
ladies, probably not excelled, if, indeed, equalled by any other in 
the State. I make this last remark (I can best do it here) in con- 
nection with the reference by herself in subsequent pages, to the 
defects of her early education. In fact, that education was as 
good as the standard of female culture at that day demanded or 
provided for. Very few young women of her age, even of fami- 
lies in far easier circumstances than ours, began the world with 
better mental furnishing than she. Our parents, though back- 
ward to indulge us, shrank from no sacrifices to procure that 
which would be for our mental and moral profit. And the re- 
grets — almost complaints — seemingly forced from her afterward, 



4 MEMOIR OF MKS. KEITH. 

were partly a misjudgment, arising from the reflex influence of 
an improved system of female education, partly the contrast be- 
tween her childhood's lofty ideal and its comparatively defective 
actual. 

Our parents were (as, indeed, most of our relatives are to this 
day) New England Congregationalists. Up to 1828 there was 
no house for religious worship in our village. A few of the 
neighboring towns had regular, educated Congregational ministra- 
tions ; and to one of them, four miles distant, we frequently re- 
sorted to worship. Our own and a large circuit of the adjacent 
towns were overrun by illiterate, ranting exhorters, filled with 
hatred to the " standing order," as the Congregational body was 
called, and lashing themselves and their hearers up to profitless, 
or worse than profitless spasms of periodical excitement. My 
father was one of the few in our village who began the work of 
establishing there stated Congregational worship ; and very fre- 
quently, during the three first years of the movement, our house 
was the transient minister's Sunday home. The commencement 
of public Congregational worship, made in the year 1825 or 
1826, in the warehouse of the Manufacturing Company, was fol- 
lowed by that degree of success which encouraged the little soci- 
ety to settle a pastor and erect a house of worship in the year 
above mentioned. I well remember the rancor of the rival sects 
in their struggles to establish themselves in the young village, not 
yet adequate to the work of sustaining them all. I make this 
passing allusion to it, only to exhibit the influences bearing upon 
my sister's childhood and youth. 

Our parents, though not communicants, were constant and 
reverent attendants upon the ordinances of religious worship. 
The Sabbath was, in their household, an honored day. Public 
worship, the verses committed to memory from the Bible or the 
hymn book, the lesson in the catechism (I vividly remember some 
of the many Sundays spent over the "Westminster Assembly's 
Smaller Catechism), and, later, when the Sunday school was 
established, its lessons — all contributed to the formation of the 
religious life of their children. The spirit of the home, though 
not directly religious (family worship was never established in it), 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 5 

was always in alliance with religion. No contempt or neglect of 
the observances of public worship could ever have been tolerated 
there. Our youth was nurtured on a sort of modified Puritanism. 
A few years before his death, my father, in antipathy and alarm 
at the " protracted meetings " and " revival measures " which 
characterized the popular denominations of the land — the Congre- 
gational among the number — came by degrees to adopt Unitarian 
views ; and, in 1835, sent me to Harvard College, in preference 
to any other. My mother remained a moderate Trinitarian Con- 
gregationalist to the last. 

In such a household, among such circumstances, under these 
influences, my sister passed through her childhood and youth to 
her eighteenth year. I need not dwell on her early characteris- 
tics. Her case is no exception to the spirit of Wordsworth's line, 
u The child is father to the man." And so transparent was her 
character, so open and communicative her heart, that her pen, in 
womanhood, reveals what her youth must have been. Were she 
now by my side, she, who wrote of herself, " My patience must 
all come of grace, for I have none by nature," would not forbid 
me to say that her temper was originally uneven and difficult. 
But, from a child, she combated her besetting sins. Whatever 
her faults, she had no deceit, but was ever frank and truthful, 
willing to be told where she was wrong, unreserved to confess 
and earnest to amend, and, the rebellious mood past, all affection- 
ateness and docility. 

The influences of the home on her religious character have 
been already alluded to. It remains to speak of those of the 
Christian ministry. At the dedication of our church, on an 
evening in the winter of 1828-9, she, a child of only seven, 
begged and obtained permission to attend. With a necessarily 
imperfect appreciation of the services of the occasion, her young 
heart was nevertheless thrilled with an emotion which a lifetime 
did not efface, by the striking hymn, read with remarkable im- 
pressiveness by the preacher : 

" Am I a soldier of the cross, 
A follower of the Lamb, 
And Bhall I fear to own His cause, 
Or blush to speak His name ? 



6 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

44 Must I be carried to the Bkies 
On flowery beds of ease, 
While others fought to win the prize, 
And sailed through bloody seas ? 

44 Are there no foes for me to face ? 
Must I not stem the flood ? 
Is this vile world a friend to grace 
To help me on to God ? 

41 Sure I must fight if I would reign : 
Increase my courage, Lord ; 
I'll bear the toil, endure the pain, 
Supported by Thy word." 

Our first pastor, Rev. David Sanford, now and for the last 
quarter of a century minister of a church in Medway, Mass., left 
us when my sister was too young (being only in her tenth year) 
to retain more than a partial impression of the tenderness, fervor, 
and devotedness, full of love to God and to man, which bound all 
hearts to him. Our third pastor, Rev. Constantine Blodgett, now 
and for twenty-eight years past a Congregational clergyman in 
Pawtucket, R. I., came to our church in its weakness and destitu- 
tion in the autumn of 1833, and self-sacrificingly remained its 
minister two years and a half, though urgently invited, meantime, 
to more encouraging fields of labor. I need only say, so hearty 
and glowing are my sister's references to him in some of the fol- 
lowing letters, that, a punctual, earnest, reverent, impressible 
pupil in his Bible class, and worshipper under his public ministra- 
tions, she had received from his ministry, when, at the close of 
her fifteenth year, he removed from the place, impressions which 
abode with her — a mighty power through her earthly life, to 
accompany her, I cannot doubt, into eternity. 

Such, imperfectly sketched, is the outline of her early days. 
A small family circle, removed by distance from frequent inter- 
course with kindred ; with uncongenial surroundings ; with occa- 
sional though not violent fluctuations in worldly prospects, inten- 
sifying, however, the anxieties consequent on the slender health 
of the household's head ; a father with ~ an invalid's varying 
moods ; a mother with unyielding hope and resolve ; an only son 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 7 

with a boy's bright visions of the future ; an only daughter, with 
but casual associates and no intimates, craving not only the sub- 
stance but the tokens of affection (the manifestations of which 
our parents, genuine New England people, rather repressed than 
indulged), with few recreations or amusements, thirsting for 
knowledge, with quick sensibilities, with warm affections, with 
tender and thoughtful religious musings, with the dreams, hopes, 
and forming resolves of an ardent and aspiring girlhood — these, 
some of the features of the youth as it was, may help the reader 
the better to appreciate the earnest, lofty, devoted maturity that 
was to be. 

Sent, in the summer of 1836, at the age of fifteen, to the 
Adams Female Seminary in Deny, N. H., then under the charge 
of Mr. C. 0. P. Gale (a teacher enthusiastically beloved by his 
pupils), my sister completed the regular course of study, receiv- 
ing its diploma in October, 1837. To this oasis in her life-jour- 
ney she frequently and feelingly refers in her letters for many 
succeeding years. Among congenial youthful companions, in the 
pursuit of studies that fixed her interest, and partaking, with her 
schoolmates, of the ardent yet friendly emulation that stirs the 
young mind, to her buoyant spirit the hours sped by with winged 
step. 

The following letters, her earliest now to be found, introduce 
what, in the sequel, is to be virtually her autobiography. 

TO HER BROTHER, 
(.Then a member of the Senior Class in Harvard College.) 

New Market, N. H., Feb. 25, 1838. 

* * * I have attended church this afternoon ; heard Mr. 
R. His text was John xviii. 38 : " What is truth ? " * * * 
You speak of a " certain book " — I suppose, Unitarian. "Well, I 
will read it with attention, whatever it is. I read one aloud of 
the tracts you sent home, about every Sunday ; and sometimes 
another not aloud. It happened that I read Mr. Gannett on 
" Revivals " last Sunday. There have been a great many pro- 
tracted meetings around us. I don't know of any one's suffer- 
ing ; but then, Mr. Gannett says the good results are proclaimed, 
while the evil is not known. 

* * * I long for the 18th of July perhaps almost as much 



8 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

as yourself, and shall be very happy to see you at home on a short 
visit in April. * * * N. B. — Last Sunday I read Mrs. Bar- 
bauld's tract [on the " New Birth "], with which mother was highly 
pleased, and said it was the plainest discourse on that text that 
ever she had heard. I am going to read one to-night. I'll tell 
you what one when I have read it. * * * I have re-read 
Gannett on " Kevivals," much liked by all. I believe mother 
demurred a little when you read it [in December previous] ; but 
now it has her full assent. 

In explanation of some of the allusions in the preceding lines, 
I would state that there had been religious protracted meetings in 
three of the four village churches during the autumn and winter, 
and many communicants had been added to their numbers. My 
sister had deeply participated in the prevalent religious interest, 
but did not connect herself with the church with which she was 
a worshipper. 

Ten days after the above letter was written, I was summoned 
home from college by the sudden, alarming, and, as it proved, 
fatal illness of our dear mother. Stricken down in an instant in 
convulsions, she lingered on through seven weeks of suffering, to 
die on the 23d of April. The four last weeks of the time, our 
father, who was in the latter stages of consumption, was himself 
confined to the sickbed, and was unable to see his dying wife, or 
to attend her funeral. In May, he rallied sufficiently to allow of 
my return to Cambridge the last of that month, to conclude the 
college term, which ended about "July 18th." 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Hew Market, N. H., June 10, 1838. 

My dear, only Brother : * * * Last Sunday, as 
father informed you, we visited the remains of our mother. But, 
"William, it was not my mother there. I cannot describe my feel- 
ing, when I saw my best friend literally "mouldering in the 
grave." * * * When I see a mother and daughter together, 
I think with deep grief that I have no mother. If I had a sister, 
to her I could speak freely, without reserve, and her company and 
sympathy would greatly lessen the affliction. But a brother is 
more away — his mind on other things; to him a sister cannot 
speak so freely, and their minds are not often so congenial. 
* * * I miss your company and assistance considerably, of 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAS. 9 

course; but we get along better than I feared when you left. 
"We count the days for your return, as perhaps you do. 

TO MISS MARY E. PLTJMER, 
( Then at School in Cambridge.) 

New Market, N. H., June 27, 1838. 

My very dear Friend : * * * I expect to go to Com- 
mencement with my brother, unless something unforeseen pre- 
vents. I shall go the week preceding Commencement — probably 
Saturday. Now, the " request " is, that you stay to Commence- 
ment. I entreat you to think of it, and by all means to decide in 
my favor. Only think how much more pleasant for you to stay, 
and, with you, my dear friend Sarah Plumer ; and then, you know, 
how much better I should enjoy myself. Now, dear Mary, you will 
not say me "nay," will you? How earnestly I would plead with 
you, if I could see you ! I wish you to stay at Cambridge, as 
much as I wish to go to Commencement. I shall anticipate 
" yes " for an answer ; and I hope, Mary, you will not disappoint 
your (old) friend and schoolmate. * * * 

I am now alone, the domestic having left a day or two since ; 
and I have a hand in almost everything, and the main hand in 
housekeeping; and, in most common things, my vanity natters 
me that I succeed very passably well. My father's health, though 
better, is still quite feeble, and he requires considerable care. 
Although we are only two in a family, I find enough to occupy 
my time. But employment cannot take away the consciousness 
that I am a motherless girl. You can anticipate, on your return 
from school, a joyful meeting with your beloved mother ; but, go 
where I will, whatever may be my lot, there will never be the 
hope of meeting, in this world, my tenderest friend. My dear 
Mary, only those who have stood by the dying bed of loved ones 
can tell the agony of such a moment. To feel that the smile that 
has beamed on our soul in gladness must be quenched in death ; 
that we shall no more meet their look of deep affection ; that 
there must ever be a void place in our home, with a weary long- 
ing for the music of a voice whose melody is hushed — oh ! these 
are severe chastenings to wean us from earth's ties, to raise our 
affections to that blest place where are the " spirits of the just 
made perfect," and where the bereaved hope to be reunited to 
those they loved. When I think of my dear mother's tender 
affection, her anxious solicitude, her exertions, her advice, and 
think that I have lost them all, the thought is almost insupport- 
able. But there is great consolation in the reflection that she is 
at rest, and that there is a resurrection and glorious immortality 
1* 



10 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

beyond the grave. And, though I may be even cheerful, there 
is the sad thought that I am motherless, and without a sister, that 
saddens every moment. I will not weary you longer with my 
afflictions, but do hope it is not your fate soon to know the deep, 
deep loss of a mother. * * * 

This letter I enclose in one to my brother, and he will proba- 
bly bring this to you ; and I will give you a little less than three 
weeks to write me a long answer, in which the most important 
word will be " yes." Do not let me see " no " in the letter. I 
hope I shall have once again a season of enjoyment with the 
friends of happier days. Mind my injunctions. Forget not. 

My sister accompanied me to Commencement, which took 
place August 29th, closing, instead of, as now, preceding, the long 
summer vacation. Our father, with an invalid's persistency, over- 
ruled our misgivings at leaving him to the care of others, in order 
that my sister might enjoy a change of scene and a relaxation, 
even though but brief and partial, from her cares. Our return, 
September 1st, after an absence of eight days, found him as com- 
fortable, apparently, as when we left him. His sudden death 
occurred just two weeks later — less than five months after the 
death of our mother. About the New Year of 1839 we left, for 
life, our native home. 



CHAPTER II. 

1839, 1840, 1841. 

Three years in Danvers, Cambridge, and Charlesto-wn — Joins the Unitarian Church 
—Spends a year at the Charlestown Female Seminary— Prepares herself to be- 
come a Teacher. 

TO MISS MARY E. PLUMER, EPPING, N. H. 

Danvers, Mass., April 3, 1839. 

My veey dear Friend : After an absence of more than two 
months, it is with great pleasure I sit down to talk to you by 
means of my " feathered instrument." But it takes from my 
enjoyment to think you will not and cannot speak and talk with 
me as fast as we did in " auld lang syne." * * * 

I had a very pleasant visit of four weeks at West Chester, 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAR. 11 

during which time I read some, worked some, visited some, and 
enjoyed myself much. I then went to visit my relatives in 
Haverhill [Mass.], and spent three weeks. I then left for Dan- 
vers. My visits have all been exceedingly pleasant, but I was 
glad to come to a place I call home for the present. I have been 
here four weeks, and expect to leave for school in the course of a 
month. * * * 

Give my respects to your parents. I shall always remember 
the time spent at your house with pleasure and gratitude. Kind- 
ness is doubly appreciated by the heart of the orphan. I hope it 
will be long ere you and I forget what is laughed at as " school- 
girl attachments." Now I am left an orphan, I think of some of 
my friends with increased affection. Is it necessary to say you 
are one of those " friends " ? 

Caroline passed the summer in Cambridge, pursuing her 
studies under my direction, I being then a member of the theo- 
logical school connected with the university. The autumn she 
spent with our friends at Danvers. In September she united her- 
self to the Unitarian church in that town, then under the pas- 
toral charge of Rev. Charles C. Sewall. 

TO HER BROTHER, AT CAMBRIDGE. 

Danvers, Mass., Sept. 30, 1839. 

Deak William : * * * I cannot express to you the 
loneliness I feel. It seems to me I realize, I feel it more and 
more. Only when you are with me, I feel almost happy. Per- 
haps I ought to maintain a more equal frame of mind. In the 
conversation of Mr. Sewall, when I was sick, and was, at the 
time, rather low-spirited, he remarked that a Christian should 
always be cheerful, and appear so. Generally, I at least appear 
cheerful ; and I often fear that, though I am sometimes sad, I am 
also sometimes too gay, or rather indulge in too much mirth. Be 
that as it may, "I am what I am," and hope to become better. 
There are, doubtless, worse things than these I have spoken of, 
for me to conquer. 

In December, 1839, Miss Tenney became a member of the 
Baptist Female Seminary in Charlestown, Mass., where she con- 
tinued one year, attending public worship, during the time, at the 
Unitarian church. 



12 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO MISS MARY E. PLUMER, EPPING, N. H. 

Charleetown, Mass., April, 1840. 

My dear Mary : I received a letter from a very dear friend, 
dated Epping, March 2, 1840, which began thus : " Impute my 
long silence, my dear Caroline, to anything rather than want of 
inclination to write ; for I can assure you I have daily thought of 
you, and wished to answer your last kind letter, but it has really 
been impossible." I placed implicit confidence in the truth of 
those words, and was satisfied. Now I wish to adopt those words 
as my own, as my explanation for my delay ; and you will re- 
ceive it, I doubt not, as frankly and as fully. * * * This 
term I study French, drawing, music. I shall take music lessons 
twice a week, and shall practise three hours a day, if I can get 
the time. I draw two hours, and shall do so out of school, if 
possible. I have relinquished Latin — my dearest study — for the 
present, to make faster progress in French, for I can pursue Latin 
with my minister at Danvers at any time. I go into two recita- 
tions in French, the. third class (which is really the second) hav- 
ing gone ahead of the one called second ; and I go into the first 
class also. My first lesson in the first class was four long exer- 
cises in the middle of the grammar, and two pages of phrases. 
Having only commenced French last term, I shall have some 
difficulty in keeping up with those who have studied for more 
than a year ; but no other classes went as fast as I wished to go. 
I was provoked last term, all the time, by the dunces and the 
lazy ones in the Latin class. My teacher pitied me, and has now 
arranged it to my satisfaction. In the third class we read " Co- 
rinne ; " in the first, " Kacine." In drawing, I hope to arrive at 
painting this term, but do not know as I shall. * * * I sup- 
pose you have heard that a Unitarian school is to be established 
at North Andover. Do you not almost wish to go ? I do. 
* * * My friends are few. Those friends, my dearest Mary, 
I assure you, are thought of often, and loved most truly. And 
" when on my bended knee I pray for those I love," you, dear 
M., will be near my heart. 

TO THE SAME. 

Charlestown Female Seminary, Sept. 3, 1840. 

My dear Mary : * * * I am now just ensconced for a 
new term, and, before my studies shall be rulers of my time, I am 
careful to write to you. My pursuits this term will be French, 
drawing, music, chemistry, and geography of the heavens, with a 
weekly composition ; and I must sit up only till ten o'clock. I 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAR. 13 

am rather glad it is my last term here, for, though there is good 
instruction, yet the atmosphere of the school does not suit me. 
The joys of Derry are too distinctly remembered to permit me 
to be easily satisfied. I do not know whether or not I shall 
attend school any more ; probably not, for you know I am now 
nineteen. I shall continue study in the winter, and, if I remain 
in Danvers, I shall study in the winter with Mr. Sewall, our min- 
ister. I see no end to what I wish to learn, and might as well 
leave school one time as another. 

TO THE SAME. 

Danvers, Mass., Nov. 23, 1840. 

My dear, dear Mary : * * * I believe my last letter 
to you was written just after my long vacation. I returned to 
Charlestown for my last term with a great deal of vigor. The 
rules annoyed me a little at first, but I soon got used to them. I 
used to think I was studious at Derry, and that I was smart to 
rise at six o'clock at this time of the year. But all the past term 
I have risen as early as four, frequently at half past three, some- 
times at three, two, one — this is truth — and never retired before 
ten. My studies were partly drawing and music, or I suppose I 
should have been worn down ; but I am not, in the least. My 
brother has gone to Charleston, S. C, to spend, probably, a year. 
So you must suppose I am quite alone. He wished me to leave 
the hard study I had pursued and was anticipating, and accept the 
invitations of some of my friends to visit them. His advice de- 
cided my already wavering mind, and, for a time, I shall give 
myself up to the joys of visiting. Your affectionate and earnest 
invitation, my dearest, I am but too happy in accepting ; and my 
heart leaps at the thought of another pleasant visit at your house. 
So you may expect to see me in Epping about the middle of 
January, bag and baggage, but no beau. 

TO HER BROTHER, IN SOUTH CAROLINA 

Danvers, Mass., May 29, 1841.* 

My very dear Brother : * * * Your life must really 
be very monotonous — and no meetings ! I hope I shall not be 
just so situated. If I am, I can be contented with my books and 
employment. Your encouragement for me from Rev. Dr. Gilman 
gives me much pleasure. I hope it is not for disappointment. 
When once in business, a great load will be taken from my spir- 
its ; but you know I am pretty cheerful now, and can bear, I 

* No letters of the previous six months are now to be found. 



14 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

think, a few battles. Could it be that you should not be far from 
me ? I should indeed be happy ; for it is the feeling of strange- 
ness in every place I enter, that often makes me sigh in the midst 
of gayety. 

The summer and early autumn of 1841 were spent in Dan- 
vers by Miss Tenney in fitting herself to be a private teacher in 
the South. By the kindness of the late Rev. Dr. Gilman, of 
Charleston, S. C, she obtained an eligible situation, residing in 
Charleston in the summer months, and through the winter on the 
family plantation, about forty miles distant from the city. 



CHAPTER 111. 

A YEAR IN SOUTH CAROLINA. 

1841—1842. 

First Impressions of the Episcopal Cburch— Acquaintance with Rev. J. B. 

Gallagher. 

TO HER BROTHER, AT MONK'S CORNER, S. C. 

Richfield Plantation, near Wilton, S. C, Nov. 29, 1841. 

My dearest Brother : To-day I have commenced labor ; 
to-day one week ago, I met you, and stepped upon the shore of 
South Carolina; to-day one fortnight since, I set sail at New 
York ; to-day three weeks ago, I was anxious and desponding. 
I send this letter by Mr. Faber, who is going to Charleston to- 
morrow. 

* * * Rome, I have always heard, was not built in a 
day ; and I will not despair that, at twenty, I am not a finished 
teacher. Had my advantages been what I could have wished, 
long before now it might have been ; and it will yet be so. I 
wished (yet am not disappointed, because I did not expect) that 
your forty miles from Charleston lay in this direction. 

TO THE SAME. 

Richfield, near Wilton, S. C, Dec. 6, 184L 

* * * "Wilton Bluff, as it is called, four miles distant, is a 
lovely spot. It looks down on a very pleasant plantation across 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 15 

a beautiful stream. The parsonage, near the church, is surround- 
ed with liveoak trees covered with moss. Mr. Gallagher is the 
present rector. I have heard one fine sermon. They had com- 
munion last Sabbath. I had never before witnessed one in these 
forms. I hardly like the method so well as the primitive one of 
sitting. * * * Mr. F. I like very much, as you well sup- 
pose. * * * I am contented — profitably, pleasantly, usefully, 
constantly, happily employed. 

TO THE SAME. 

January 4, 1842. 

* * * I spent a very pleasant day at the parsonage last 
Tuesday. The conversation of Mr. Gallagher, the minister, is 
no less profitable than interesting, and all without the least osten- 
tation. He remarked concerning Dr. "Ware, Jr., and Mr. Gan- 
nett, that he should like very much to see these two men in the 
church, if they could see their way clear to enter it ; that they 
were evangelical, as nearly as any one could be who believed in 
the Unitarian doctrines. Although Mr. G. is very much at- 
tached to his belief, he is, so far as I can see, liberal in his feel- 
ings. * * * 

Unitarianism has not promoted my growth in grace — it has 
played about the head; and, although it is a lovely system as 
held by such men as Henry Ware, yet, with the great body, it is 
a nominal faith. I do enjoy the Episcopal service much. In the 
first place, it is worship, as a great proportion of all services in 
church ought to be ; it is rational and beautiful ; the preaching is 
profitable, and I feel a delight in going to the house of God that 
I have not felt for many a day. I should miss the service much, 
and I doubt about my attempting to attend Dr. Gilman's church 
wben we remove to the city. Though I am still undecided as to 
doctrines, I now enjoy more of the peace in believing than I have 
for two years. Yes, I have been "tempest-tost." In future, 
however much doctrines may trouble me, I will not let go the 
assurance I feel that God will not cast off a sincere worshipper. 



TO THE SAME. 

February 5, 1842. 

* * * My greatest fear is, that my quick, sensitive, impa- 
tient temper will never be perfectly controlled ; that I shall never 
be the gentle, forbearing one I ought. Not that it troubles me 
now — for there is nought to disturb it here ; but it may awake 
from its sleep, when occasion stirs it up and I am unmindful. It 
has done so, when I believed it to be under my control. * * * 



16 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

I have been reading a very interesting biography of Dr. Bedell, 
of Philadelphia. He was "low church" — an admirable man, 
and an instrument of much good. Also a work called "A Walk 
About Zion," showing and explaining Episcopacy and its rea- 
sons ; and I think them excellent. " Magee on the Atonement " 
has also claimed my attention. What are your reasons for not 
liking him ? He is self-sufficient ; but Priestley reminds me of 
Parker, the transcendentalist — that is, in his rejection or distor- 
tion of Scripture. * * * It is communion to-day here. Of 
course, I have no part or lot here. Mr. Gallagher preached a 
first-rate practical sermon. Last Sunday he preached a highly 
finished and most thrilling sermon on the text, " I saw the dead, 
small and great, stand before God." He drinks deeply of the 
spirit of the Scriptures, and therewith he comes refreshed to edify 
most richly his hearers. 

TO MISS PLTJMER 

April 9, 1842. 

* * * [I have been reading] the " South Sea Missions," 
a work not only interesting to the Christian, as illustrating God's 
providence and showing the fulfilment of his promises, but inter- 
esting in relation to the climate, productions, and manners of 
another portion of our race ; Buchanan's " Life and Researches 
in India ; " Mrs. H. More's Life ; and later, but not less, u The 
Nestorians," or lost tribes of Israel, proving conclusively that 
these Christians in the heart of Media are the ten tribes, and that 
" God hath not cast away his people." I have had so much quiet, 
retirement, and leisure for serious thought, that I am not anxious 
for a residence in the city. Yet it is in the world that we ought 
to live, and prove there the strength of religious principle. - I find 
all mere worldly desires becoming engrossed in the great wish to 
live to benefit the immortal spirits of others, if I may. * * * 
I rather dread the hot weather ; it is a long while from May 1st to 
October or November. I am happy to think that Mr. Faber's 
residence in town is uncommonly cool. It is seated on a river, 
a mile from the city, and constantly fanned by the sea breeze. 
* * * Could I have chosen a situation, perhaps there is not 
one in the United States more suited to my feelings and qualifica- 
tions than this. I ought to make it a subject of special gratitude 
to Him who is the Father of the fatherless. 

TO HER BROTHER, IN NEW YORK CITY. 

Charleston, S. OL, May 28, 1842. 

* * * ^r e h ave excellent preaching at St. Philip's, and I 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 17 

like the forms, and do not care to go elsewhere, although I am so 
much of a Unitarian as to be unable to join in all the Litany, &c. 

TO THE SAME. 

Charleston, S. C, Aug. 5, 1842. 

* * * I see, or fancy I see, manifestations of a feeling 
of insecurity, from which the people here are never free. 

In November, my sister returned to the North. The year 
1843 she passed with me in the city of New York. 



CHAPTER IV. 

ONE YEAR IN NEW YORK CITY. 
1843. 

Religions Doubt and Indecision. 

TO MISS CHARLOTTE OOODRIDOE, DANVERS, MASS. 

New York City, Feb., 1843. 

My dear Charlotte : Did you think your friend's character 
was changed, or that I had forgotten you ? * * * The effects 
of my long journey from New Hampshire, and of my suffering 
from the cold, of my constant exertion the day I was in Danvers, 
and total want of sleep on board the steamboat, were too much 
even for my strength and robust health. Two or three days I 
had much need of the care and tenderness of a sister, and you 
will not doubt I received it. It was Sunday morning when we 
arrived, cloudy, chilly, the streets almost literally filled with dirty 
snow, nothing stirring, and, on the whole, looking as cheerless as 
a November scene. Had we not been a bridal party, our spirits 
might have been affected ; but as it was, we were superior to 
such weakness. It took some time to get settled, but in a little 
time we felt quite at home. * * * I am now studying alge- 
bra, with which I was a very little acquainted some years ago. 
With my usual spirit of hurrying, I have been trying to see how 
soon I could get through with it. I have nearly completed it, 
having been poring over it most assiduously seven days, and hope 
to finish it in two more, or, at most, in three j when I intend to 
take up the same subject by a different author, and go on as 



18 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

rapidly as possible. Each week I study excites new desires for 
more knowledge and greater opportunities for mental culture. 
The field of acquirements that I wish to make mine, constantly 
extends ; and, though my eye is able to take in more of its ex- 
tent than it once could, it still sees a boundless expanse. 

* * * I have heard Mr. Huntington twice at Dr. Dewey's 
church. His discourses were excellent essays, finely written, and 
contained enough for a dozen common sermons ; but they were 
calculated to produce no effect, and leave no impression. How 
many do we hear in our churches of this stamp ! 

TO THE SAME. 

New York City, July 15, 1843. 

* * * You ask about the " Christian Union." You are 
right — very right — in supposing some of its members to be wise 
above what is written ; but there is some palliation of this, per- 
haps, in that they are made so by the unfaithfulness of existing 
associations of Christians. Many of them are dissatisfied, but are 
not real, humble, fervent Christians ; and in this they are some- 
what like many who take refuge in Unitarian churches. There is 
too much speculation, and too little practice ; too much talk, and 
too little prayer. Mr. Channing, their leader, has, I am sure, 
much of the trust in God, the courage, the humility, devotedness, 
and conscientiousness of an apostle. * * * "With many radi- 
cal notions, they do not preserve that spirit of reverence which is 
so beautiful and necessary. Yet I hope and believe that- they 
will, at length, be closely united in love and good works. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

New York City, Aug. 3, 1843. 

* .* * If it be so ordered that I remain in the city long, I 
mean to seek earnestly some way to which I may systematically 
devote all my efforts, however humble, and whatever I can spare, 
however small the offering. There is enough to be done every- 
where, and of all places, in this city ; the difficulty is to know how 
and where to begin. You express so far my own mind, when 
you say you were pleased with parts of the pamphlet relating to 
the " Christian Union." It is so with myself ; nor has it ever 
been otherwise. There is a great variety of opinion among those 
who go to make up its number. I hope and believe there are 
some earnest spirits among its members. I shall attend the meet- 
ings just so long as I think I derive benefit from going, and until 
I find a more scriptural order of things. 



TO HEE THIETTETH YEAE. 19 

As our meetings are suspended for a little time, we go now 
and then to hear Mr. Bellows ; and a very smart man he is, and 
an earnest spirit. If he does no good, then there is no truth in 
his system. We are going to the Swedenborgian church next 
Sunday. I see some truth there. * ■ * * 

It has latterly seemed to have been impressed on my mind 
that I have not yet learned that first lesson in Christ's school- 
viz., real self-sacrifice ; and, till this lesson is learned, and the cros3 
is embraced in love, I fear little is done acceptably. 



CHAPTER V. 

A YEAR AND A HALF IN UPPER VIRGINIA. 

1844—1845. 

Solitude— Impressions of Slavery — Religious Perplexity continues. 

TO HER BROTHER. 
Near Charlestown, Jefferson Co., Va., Feb. 1, 1844. 

* * * " Great box, little box, bandbox, and bundle," are 
safely here (five miles from Charlestown, sixteen miles from Har- 
per's Ferry). 

TO MISS GOODRIDGE. 

March 5, 1844. 

* * * My pupils now are nine in number, six belonging 
to the family, and three besides, their ages from fifteen to six 
years. I shall see very little company, and probably go abroad 
very little ; and, what is much worse, we are five miles from 
church, and, as the roads in Virginia are generally intolerable, we 
shall often be detained. Indeed, it is almost a day's work to 
attend church once on a Sunday, and get home again. The fam- 
ily attend the Episcopal church, though Mrs. is, in senti 

ment, a Baptist. 

TO REV. CONSTANTINE BLODGETT, PAWTUCKET, R. I. 

Near Charlestown, Jefferson Co., Va., April 23, 1844. 

Dea.r Sir : I venture again to write you, to inquire after tL, 
health of Mrs. Blodgett. I should have sought to know ere thi.% 
had I not feared you might deem it strange boldness in one 
whom, perhaps, you remember as a child, and of whom, for sev- 



20 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

eral years, you have known nothing, that she should trouble you 
so much as to ask you to write. It is asking much, because you 
have so many duties and cares to occupy your time. But if I 
was young at the time you were my pastor, yet the memory of 
those days is ever present with me ; and permit me to say, that, 
as my pastor, you received from me a larger share of reverence 
and grateful affection than any other individual has e7er done ; 
and my experience teaches me, that feelings cherished in early 
youth do not soon pass away. * * * 

Should you have any desire to know the present situation of 
one whose prospects have been so much changed since you knew 
her, I will just say, before closing, that I am now teaching in a 
family in this county, having about ten pupils. My stay here is 
uncertain, the solitudes of the South not possessing sufficient 
charms to keep me long among them ; nor are the " peculiar 
institutions " and restraints of Southern life agreeable to a lover 
of New England. 

I hesitate to send this, yet will venture, trusting to your kind- 
ness and candor. Praying for the health, prosperity, and happi- 
ness of you and yours, I remain, believe me, ever your attached 
and grateful friend, 

Caroline Phebe Tenney. 

to miss pltjmer. 

Near Charlestown, Va M April 23, 1844. 

* * * When in Carolina, I had, by various means, good 
access to books ; but not so here. When I go North, however, 
I mean to bring quite a number. " Go North ! " I hear you 
exclaim ; " when, pray ? " Why, nothing is certain ; but I 
intend to do so in my vacation, commencing July 1st. Imagine 
my life here for five months, and then ask yourself if it is not the 
most natural thing in the world that I should return with the 
greatest alacrity. Month after month to see no one, to go no- 
where, to have no books, to be deprived of church (for I have 
heard but four sermons since I came) — do you not think I shall 
relish a, visit to the North ? There is but one family here that I 
have visited, and they have been here once. I never ride out, 
and the walks are not safe. More and more thankful am I that T 
was born in the North. Women here are completely fettered by 
the power of custom and by the opinion of " the world." Un- 
able to move without a " protector," and not always having one 
at command. Protector ! I always blush to use the word ; it 
makes me feel the yoke that woman bears. If, at the North, 
men have less " gallantry," they have, I hope, more genuine 



TO HEE THIRTIETH YEAR. 21 

respect for the character of woman as an intellectual being, 
formed not merely to please, "but to have an independent exist- 
ence ; and if woman has less " grace " and " sweetness," she cer- 
tainly has more character and energy. Mr. has fre- 
quently said I should become so attached to Virginia, that I 
would prefer it to the North. " No, indeed ! " have I answered ; 
" I should feel fettered ; I should make wings and fly, if I 
thought my life was to be spent in a Southern State. Woman 
cannot act, breathe so freely here as in the North." 

And the curse of slavery ! I feel it more here than in Caro- 
lina — a curse not only upon the black, but upon the white popu- 
lation ; and I can now almost join the cry, " Texas and Dis- 
union ! " You are told the South wish to abolish slavery ; but 
bring the question home, you see they shrink from really dispens- 
ing with their menials, though they do dread the future and its 
consequences. I wish I had, during my residence here, the head, 
heart, fancy, language, and pen of Mrs. Child, that I might see, 
think, feel, speak, and write. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Near Charlestown, Va., May 27, 1844. 

Dear Brother : I can no longer refrain from taking up my 
pen to express the gratification your letter, received Saturday 
night, gave me. I might use a stronger term, and say delight, 
were it not that experience has chastened the hopes I allow my- 
self to cherish for the future. I do not forget — and I know you 
cannot — the peculiar trials incident to the life of a Unitarian min- 
ister ; but if you have counted the cost in the right spirit, the 
prospect may give you a firmer purpose, a holier zeal. * * * 

The best wishes and prayers of your sister ever attend you. 

TO MRS. WM. T. CUTTER, NEW YORK CITY. 

South Andover, Mass., Aug. 21, 1844. 

Dear Cousin Frances : Ere this time I hope you are 
almost well ; and perhaps you have begun to think of my prom- 
ise to write you from Hollis. It is seldom necessary for me to 
ask pardon for negligence in writing, because I generally love to 
write as well as most people love to read letters. Letter writing 
is to me what daily intercourse with friends is to others — my 
happiness ; and in some cases it has seemed almost necessary to 
my life, as it has certainly been to my comfort. But, distracted 
by visiting, paying and receiving calls, as I do in Andover, there 
are few moments when leisure and inclination agree ; so, while 



22 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

the one is waiting for the other, time flies, and a broken promise 
and an unperformed duty stare me in the face. * * * 

The graves of my parents in Hollis I would love to 

place over the spot u the earliest flowers of spring with the hand 
of affection," and with affection's tear to keep them fair ; but it 
may not be. Yet it is vain to wish so. I could not but feel, as, 
alone and lonely, I stood by the spot where rest the mortal re- 
mains of those I loved best, that there was little satisfaction in 
remembering mortality ; and I seemed to hear a voice, u They are 
not here ; they are risen." * * * 

Let me, ere I close, dear F M once more express the deep and 
grateful affection I feel more and more for yourself and your hus- 
band. I have little claim upon your kindness ; yet you treat me 
as though I had great claims. I can only pray you may be re- 
garded by the God of the orphan. 

TO REV. CON6TANTINE BLODGETT. 

Dan vers, Mass., Sept. 16, 1844. 

To my former and much-loved Pastor : I again write, to 
say that, on my journey back to Virginia, I should be happy to 
fulfil my long-cherished purpose of visiting Pawtucket. I feel 
almost ashamed to write again — to send my letter, like a strange 
intruder ; but I cannot relinquish easily a desire and intention so 
long and constantly cherished ; nor do I wish to postpone to a dis- 
tant and uncertain future what can be accomplished in the present. 

I trust Mrs. B.'s health has been confirmed, and that her life 
will long be spared to her family. I cannot tell you with how 
much pleasure I have anticipated a visit to the kind counsellors 
of my early youth ; for, though many years have rolled on since 
then, they have not diminished my affectionate regard, or obliter- 
ated all their instructions, then so deeply impressed on my heart 
and conscience. With earnest wishes for the happiness and best 
good of you and yours, I beg leave to subscribe myself, with ex- 
pression of grateful affection, your former parishioner, 

Caroline Phebe Tenney. 

to miss plumer. 

Near Charlestown, Jefferson Co., Va., Oct. 28, 1844. 

My dear Mary : How can I better celebrate this anniver- 
sary, than by writing to one who, seven years ago this day, 
shared with me the pleasures and anxieties of an M examination " ? 
Is not the scene before you, as you read that word ; and can you 

[* The place of their reinterment on our removal from N. M.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAR. 23 

not, for a moment, live over again the past ? Seven years ! 
How endless, then, seemed to us a term of seven years ! But 
they have gone, and the account of them is sealed up in the past. 
Could we select a circle of twelve, and together sit down to re- 
count to each other the histories of these same short years ; could 
the inmost heart of each he laid bare ; could each one understand 
the discipline life had laid upon the others, which, think you, 
smiles or tears, should prevail ? And would not the conference 
end in a deep and involuntary silence, while intense thought and 
busy recollection would move our very soul ? Oh ! Mary, can 
you understand the interest with which, as I sit alone and glance 
over those days, memory revives the pictures, that can never fade, 
though time may throw over them the dust of ruined hopes ? So 
many have been the changes that have come upon me since the 
first sad change, that I could easily believe twice seven winters 
had gone over my head since I stood in that gay and laughing 
group in that loved New England. There is a strange feeling of 
age upon me. You may smile ; but the great fact, the existence 
of that feeling or impression, or whatever it may be, remains. 
Partly it may be ascribed to the many changes, partly to an in- 
creasing sedateness of character. Perhaps you start as you read 
the last three words, and exclaim, " Merci, spare me ! You are 
' sedate ' enough already." So I am — too much so for my own 
taste ; yet an influence beyond my control has been and still is 
increasing such a tendency Just think a moment, how much and 
how constantly I have been thrown among strangers ; and, as a 
resident at the South, I have been cast upon my own mental re- 
sources for entertainment, till I have come to prefer the company 
of my own thoughts to any persons except those for whom I have 
a particular fondness. Memory, reflection, conscience, keep me 
busy with the past, while the duties of the present take hold of 
the future. Sometimes anxieties for myself, or those dear to me, 
trouble my spirit, till, by a new effort, I submit all to Him who 
holds in its place the atom as well as the round world. Thus I 
live in, though I hope not wholly to myself ; thus has my charac- 
ter been moulded, almost when I knew it not, in solitude, and 
often in sorrow, till now I am startled — absolutely and really star- 
tled — to find myself merry ; and when my spirits are rising with 
an unusual elasticity, they are checked by memory, the handmaid 
of experience, who whispers, " 'Tis the precursor of a tempest." 
But do not suppose I am gloomy. No, I am very cheerful now, 
else I would not take up my pen to write you ; for I remember 
that my last letter but one to you was but a sad affair ; and my 
last was little better than an excuse for that. I then determined 
that should be the last time I would indulge in expressions of such 



24: MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

feelings ; so I have been waiting for a perfectly peaceful mood ere 
I should write you. 

I am now, by the goodness of God, who " tempers the wind 
to the shorn lamb," enjoying more real peace than since I re- 
turned from the South, two years since. I say " by the goodness 
of God," because He has at last made me see His hand in all that 
has afflicted me, and has brought me to rejoice in His wise though 
mysterious providence. He has made me see how I have main- 
tained a struggle against His ordinations, though I was not at the 
time aware of the fact ; and has kindly given me to see the rea- 
sons of some of them, that I might give all up to Him who order- 
eth all things well, and " chasteneth whom he loveth." And 
there is no rest, Mary, except in this renunciation of self, the giv- 
ing up of the individual will to God. There may be a kind of 
rest when all goes well with us — a kind that may soon be de- 
stroyed. But this rest none can disturb ; this peace no man 
taketh away. I have repulsed the heavenly hand when it has 
corrected me ; therefore it has, in kindness, though seeming sever- 
ity, visited me many times. Although now in the safe harbor, 
yet, as with a ship that has just outrode the tempest, the vestiges 
of the storm still remain. I find, dear M., I am running on in 
the same old egotistical style, and with my accustomed pro- 
lixity. * * * 

My time here, no doubt, will pass monotonously away ; one 
day, in all outward things, being the history of the preceding. 
As the roads in this country are very rough in the winter, I ex- 
pect to go very little even to church, and to see few people. In- 
deed, the few whom I do see are not the sort to please me ; and 
one does not care to meet indifferent people a few times, because 
one cannot find out what is really worthy, and has to endure the 
tiresome constraint. Very agreeable people are not met with 
every day ; and, though I know I ought not to be so particular, 
inasmuch as I am but one of the dull ones myself, yet I cannot 
help it ; so it is. * * * 

You read with a discrimination so admirable, and a memory 
so retentive, that you ought to improve the golden season. But I 
will not preach. I wish I had some of the books here that lie 
around you. I always feel, when I return from the South, in 
relation to books and general intelligence, that there has been a 
suspension of existence ; and I am then ashamed of an ignorance 
for which I am really not to be blamed. I know not what my 
future course may be ; but of this I am sure, I shall not again 
leave New England to teach at the South, unless something splen- 
did tempts, or something in the way of duty commands. It is not 
half a life to come out here as a teacher ; it is mere existence. 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 25 

Think of it, for a New Englander to leave the society of books, 
intelligent people, religious privileges, to dwell apart, to live pining 
for food such as most Southerners know not of, or cannot appre- 
ciate. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM T. CUTTER. 

Near Charlestown, Jefferson Co., Va., Nov. 1, 1844. 

Dear Cousin Frances : With real pleasure I remember 
your parting command, and sit down to obey it. The weeks of 
this latter sojourn in Virginia have hitherto passed very rapidly 
away, owing in some degree, perhaps, to the apparent laziness of 
the sun, who gives long nights and short days, and to the many 
things that must be accomplished while he is so kind as to lend 
the light of his lamp. But not by the light of his lamp am I 
writing, but by a " poor glim," as the sailor would say, that most 
sadly " blears my e'en." I never performed a journey with so 
little annoyance and vexation as this. Perhaps the difference 
was in me ; for, as you may suppose, there were many pleasant 
memories of my visit to bear me company ; and, of these, not 
the least pleasant were those of the kind treatment I met with 
under your roof. The affectionate reception and cordial welcome 
do not cease their healing influence upon a bruised spirit, when the 
occasion that called them forth has passed away. Never could 
such manifestations have been more acceptable and soothing; and 
it was with a full and grateful heart that I left your house, and 
parted from cousin "William, and with the fervent prayer that 
your children might never want such kindness as you so cordially 
extended to me. When, the morning of my departure, I knelt 
for the last time with you all at the family altar, my heart was 
filled to overflowing at that earnest, touching petition for me. It 
was peculiarly appropriate, too — far more so than the one who 
formed it knew, or would recollect. To me it seemed to have 
been inspired by Him who knows the trial of each individual. 
Had I uttered for myself the prayer of prayers, it would scarcely 
have been in other words ; and I rose up and went on my way, 
resting in the assurance that He who is the inspirer, is also the 
hearer of prayer. Dwelling, as I do, so much among strangers, 
and, as here, among irreligious people, can I convey to your mind 
an idea of the happiness I feel, when, even for a little time, I 
sojourn with those who in all their ways acknowledge God ? 
Those of my friends who think of me as a Unitarian merely, 
would not, perhaps, believe that I understand the meaning or feel 
the influence of the " Christian tie : " vet I do know at least 
something of it, and it constitutes one of the elements of my 
enjoyment when with you and in your family. When I am with 
2 



20 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

those who call upon the same Father and love the same Savior, 1 
seem to have come home. And is not home a delightful place 
to those who have been exiles and wanderers ? I did not mean 
to talk so long about myself; but I would express the grateful 
and happy emotions that ruled my spirit while I was at your 
house. * * * 

I have access to very few books, see little or no company, so 
that I am not likely to fall into the sin that is said to beset the 
weaker part of creation — viz., that of gossiping. I feel far more 
the loss of religious privileges ; but then, I hope to be able to 
prize all my privileges better when I return. 

TO REV. CONSTANTINE BLODGETT. 

Neai* Charlestown, Jefferson Co., Va., Jan. 11, 1845. 

My kind and ever-esteemed Friend : Nearly four months, 
well counted, have passed since my last arrival in Virginia ; and 
daily, as I have thought of my friends in Pawtucket, I have 
wished to write. I have hesitated to do so, especially because, 
now so long a stranger, I doubted whether I might with justice, 
or even propriety, claim one moment of time or thought, already 
so entirely engrossed by near and imperative duties. But the 
recollection of your own and Mrs. B.'s expressions of interest, and 
of your invitation to write, so kindly given, added to my own 
inclination to do so, has at length gained the victory — I was going 
to say, of my better reason. I pause, half ashamed of my bold- 
ness, yet go on, trusting to your kindness to pardon (for this once) 
my trespass, if such it be. Let the long-cherished and unfading 
memories of my early youth, and the refreshing influence of my 
recent visit at your house, plead my excuse. I have used the 
expression " refreshing," because I can truly say that no other 
visit, no interview I enjoyed last summer at the North, did me so 
much good — conferred so much real happiness — as I received 
under your roof. * * * The thoughts and feelings of early 
days, saddened, certainly, by the experience of intervening years, 
were present with me ; and as, with more than former delight, I 
listened again to your voice, each word seemed to meet some 
want, dispel some doubt, inspire new courage, and shed light on 
my future path. These were causes of the long and peculiar hap- 
piness I enjoyed. I ought not to have written so long of myself. 
I began to do so from the desire to express the pleasure I have in 
the recollection of my recent interview with yourself and Mrs. 
B., and my gratitude for your kindness. 

* * * You will like to hear about my intended Bible class. 
[Mrs. gl aa ty an d eagerly consented, and Mr. 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 27 

offered no objection.] The children, also, expressed their willing- 
ness, and even seemed pleased. So the way was open, and noth- 
ing remained but for me to enter the field, though with fear and 
trembling. And though I am but too often reminded that I have 
only a small talent, I cannot forget that it must be used and im- 
proved. Had I ten, it would be not less true that sufficiency is 
of God. 

* * * My privileges for reading have been greater than 
they were last summer, though I cannot do otherwise than follow 
a very desultory course. It has generally been so ; I have sel- 
dom an opportunity to follow out any one subject. But I do as I 
can, gleaning here a grain and there a grain. I have now access 
to the parish library (when I can get to town to procure books), 
which I improve, chiefly that I may select books to interest and 
profit my pupils in Sunday reading. They are principally biogra- 
phies and light religious works, most of which I have read. Out 
of sixteen Sabbaths, I have been to " church " six times, and two 
or three times to a Methodist meeting not far off. This was in 
autumn ; and, as I am selfish enough to wish to excite your sym- 
pathies, I must add that, some time since, our carriage received an 
injury, so that my prospects for some time to come are very un- 
promising. I must regret my inability to attend church, and the 
deprivation of such a means of improvement ; yet good can be 
educed from evil, and, what is better, I am able to perceive the 
good — whether or not it balances the evil, is another matter. I 
now see much more company, having made many new acquaint- 
ances. One family I consider a valuable acquisition — intelligent, 
religious, and possessing what in this region is termed a "library." 
I speak of these things (for, though small, they are important to 
me) that I may show you the bright side of the picture of my 
life. * * * Of my own views it is not worth while to speak, 
for I have already spoken too much of myself; yet I must add, 
how often I recall those words you addressed to me, as once spo- 
ken by a pastor to a hearer whose light had become darkness : 
" Look toward the light ; " and I silently and involuntarily made 
the same reply as the hearer : " Why did I not think of that be- 
fore ? " I found I had been seeking truth from fallible man, from 
books, from my own dark but earnest mind, I need not say in 
vain. Unsatisfied, and athirst, I came back with (as I hope) a 
more childlike disposition, to seek the fountain of living water — 
to Him who is " the Way, the Truth," and also " the Light." 
Doubts sometimes disturb my peace even now ; and, though a 
long intercourse with Unitarians has materially shaken my belief 
in the personality of the " great adversary," yet I have never 
been so much inclined to account for some frames of mind last 



28 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

summer, as by reference to his agency. The thought of the 
u gross darkness that covered the people," and of the numbers 
who knew not or cared not for the Savior, so haunted me, that I 
was unwilling to believe this the only state of probation ; and 
" how could they hear without a preacher ? " Such was my feel- 
ing, that I made haste to search for external evidences of the truth 
of revelation, lest these internal evidences on which I had been 
resting might be a dream — an illusion sustained by the force of 
education. I could not bear the thought of giving up the Bible, 
to grope in darkness ; yet I feared I should be left to do so. But 
that is past, I hope, forever. Of one thing I am certain : the 
Bible is full of Christ ; and Unitarianism, as I have heard it, can 
get along without much mention of Him whose name, to those 
who believe, is precious. I have had the satisfaction of seeing 
nearly the whole of the article in the New Englander on Liberal 
Christianity and Theodore Parker, a3 it was fully quoted for 
review in the Christian World, sent me by my brother. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

February 11, 1846. 

* * * "When the delegate from Massachusetts * was 

treated so scandalously in South Carolina, Mr. could 

hardly help crowing. I came down stairs, one Sunday morning, 
after he had been feasting on the mortification of Massachusetts, 
and he began on the " fanatics." With a voice trembling with 
emotion, but a manner as firm as his own can be, I expressed the 
repugnance I felt to being addressed on the subject, especially in 
such a manner. I said that I had never attacked the South, and 
that I could not, without a painful restraint, listen in seeming 
patience to such language concerning the North ; that his opin- 
ions could not be changed, nor could mine ; and that, as we could 
do each other no good, we had better be silent. He talked on, to 
mend the matter ; but, as the " candle was not snuffed, it went 
out ; " and, though the affair of New Orleans f has since hap- 

[* Hon. Samuel Hoar, sent by Massachusetts on a perfectly constitutional 
and legal mission to South Carolina, was, with his daughter who accompanied 
him, driven from Charleston by a genteel mob in November or December, 
1844.] 

[f Hon. Mr. Hubbard, of Pittsfield, Mass., sent to Louisiana by Massa- 
chusetts, on the same mission as that of Mr. Hoar to South Carolina, was, 
under the peril of his life if he should remain, driven from New Orleans, a 
city which has since been placed under the military government of Major- 
Generals Butler and Banks, of Massachusetts.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 29 

pened, he has not spoken of it. He is constantly boasting that the 
North will rue the day, &c. ; that the North cannot live alone ; that 
the South and England against the North, &c. As though we should 
be starved ! At such times I wish I was a politician ; but I do not 
hesitate to tell him that, the more I see of slavery, the more I 
detest it, and that nothing could induce me to own a slave. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

March 13, 1846. 

Dear Sister : " The time of the singing of birds is come, 
and the voice of the turtle is heard in the land." To a mild and 
pleasant winter has succeeded a delightful spring ; the wheat fields 
are covered with a rich green, and several kinds of trees are put- 
ting on their dress. The days spoken of in your letter as rainy, 
were here most lovely, especially Sunday,. the 23d; but we could 
not get to church, because our carriage, broken three months ago, 
was not mended ; and that is a fair specimen of Southern thrift. 
That same important carriage was, however, sent to town, and, 
having returned on Saturday, I did hope to go to church. But 
where there is no will there is no way ; and I remained at home, 
to look from my window over a country beautiful indeed, but 
cursed by slavery, Sabbath breaking, and infidelity, to repeat, as 
applicable to this plantation and many around, " The sound of the 
church-going bell," &c. Oh ! shall I not be able to say, " I was 
glad when they said unto me, Let us go unto the house of the 
Lord " ? Think not, however, that my Sabbaths are gloomy. I 
manage, generally, to have some profitable book on hand ; and, 
when that is not the case, I speak merely the fact, when I say 
that the Bible has a richness and meaning such as it never before 
possessed for me ; and I have a firm conviction that I shall look 
back on these lonely Sabbaths with grateful pleasure, not as lost 
or wasted. I feel that it is a discipline that I needed ; and there 
are several good reasons for this feeling, but I will not trouble you 
with them now. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Monday, March 31, 1845. 

* * * By the kindness of a neighbor (who sends a little 
boy to school), I went to church a week ago yesterday ; and next 
Friday night, by invitation, I am to go to visit there, to go to 
church on Saturday and Sunday. These same neighbors (Pres- 
byterians) lend me books and newspapers. The gentleman is a 
physician ; the lady one of the most cordial, hearty, hospitable 
women I have ever seen — pious, exemplary, and most kind. 



30 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

They are a treasure to me. One Saturday evening they called 
here, and took me away to spend the Sabbath and go to church. 
The next morning my next kindest neighbor, a " church " woman, 
sent for me. A gentleman visiting at the latter place amused 
himself at the idea of " seeing which could get me." Our regular 
minister at the Episcopal church is away, and next Sunday his 
place is to be occupied by a most eloquent man, whose discourse 
I would on no account lose, were I not engaged to my kind 
friends. Had it been my lot to be teacher in such a family, how 
much at home I could have felt ! but my hostess, though kind, is 
unable to make me feel at home. * * * To-morrow is a mile 
post. I count the weeks. Come what will, I will never be an 
exile in the South. Did I like ever so well, I must say I think 
I could exert a stronger and more extensive influence somewhere 
else than in these regions of " Castle Indolence ; " and woman 
here is bound by the iron law of custom. 

TO THE SAME. 

June 5, 1845. 

Dear Brother : "What is first in the mind will soonest find 
utterance. Therefore I must begin my letter with what you 
already know almost as well as I do ; viz., that, three weeks from 
to-morrow, I shall be free. 

Mr. asked me, yesterday, if I had fully made up my 

mind to go North. I said " yes ; " and I could have added, that 
only some imperative duty could keep me, if a thousand dollars 
per year were offered me. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 
A Danvere, Mass., July 23, 1845. 

Dear Mary : Four months have winged their weary way 
since the receipt of your last letter. Weariness and ill health 
took away from even my usual amount of cheerfulness, and I re- 
solved not to write till my return North. I was literally almost 
starved to death at the South, and, consequently, my usual labors 
wore upon me very much. My whole being suffered, and I shall 
not soon entirely recover. I have suffered for several months 
from a sinking, exhausted feeling, and yet have no relish for 
food. I am poor, pale, and almost low spirited ; though, when 
I am excited or travelling, strangers would not notice a want of 
health. 

■ * * * I hope to engage in teaching again this fall; 
but if I do not recruit materially, I shall not venture to do. so. 
The latter part of my stay in Virginia was very unpleasant, 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 31 

though I tried to make the best of it ; but I have little doubt 
my health would have been permanently affected by a much 
longer stay, I hardly know myself, so much of languor and 
lassitude possess me, so little energy of body or mind. But 
enough of this. It has long been the prayer of my lips, and, 
I trust, of my heart also, that my life might be useful, whether 
long or short ; and I will not regret the summons that shall 
call me from the pilgrimage in this world of sin to the presence 
of Him, who is the theme of the new song, and the light of 
heaven. 

Irregular, unsuitable, and poorly prepared meals for the last 
three months of my sister's stay in Upper Virginia fastened upon 
her system (which had a slight tendency to indigestion) a dyspep- 
sia, from which she was not afterward entirely free. Fatigue, 
after over-exertion, never failed to bring on something of the sink- 
ing feeling at the stomach. There was no unkindness on the part 
of her host and hostess, but absorption in business, thoughtless- 
ness, and backwardness in estimating the wants of a sedentary and 
solitary female teacher. Almost " starved in three senses — in 
body, in mind, in soul," as she expressed it, she returned North. 
Her excellent constitution was never again, at best, quite what it 
previously had been. 



CHAPTER VI. 

LIFE IN LOUI SVI L L E. 

1845-1847. 

Meeting with her former Pastor, Rev. Mr. Gallagher— Unites with the Episcopal 
Church— Reasons for this Step— Marriage Engagement. 

TO ME3S PLUMER. 

Louisville, Ky., Sept. 23, 1845. 

My dear Mary : Your kind, most kind letter shall no longer 
be unanswered ; but I will not stop to make apology. I will tell 
my story, and you will see that a multitude of things must have 



32 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

so occupied my time as to leave me few moments for writing. I 
had many things to do ere my departure "West on the 6th of Sep- 
tember. My protector was one provided by my brother — Rev. 
Mr. H., of this city. Perhaps the fame of his goodness is known 
to you ; for all his acquaintances, in speaking of him, allude to his 
excellence. By this time you are ready to ask why I have come 
to Louisville. I will tell you. You have heard me speak of my 
friend Miss Willard. You know it was by her means I went to 
Virginia. Well, last year she came to Kentucky to engage in a 
school with her brother. This year they visited the North, and I 
had the opportunity to come out with them, and assist in the 
school. Having seen something of South Carolina and Virginia 
character, I had the wish to see something of the West. I was 
glad, not only to go West, but to come into the home of a friend ; 
to be all the day long with one I loved ; to meet her kind smile 
to cheer me in my labors ; to lie down by her side at night, and 
feel that the heart whose beatings were against my bosom, beat 
for me. And then, too, I wished to teach in a school, and not by 
myself. Then, there is the rector of St. Paul's, whom I knew 
when in Wilton, S. C. He is an elegant and an excellent 
preacher, and a pleasant man, as his wife is a lovely woman. I 
feel strangely at home. The school is not large. Last year it 
had fifty scholars. But different, indeed, are scholars here from 
those in New England. Not accustomed to habits of deference 
to their parents, of course they wish to have their own way ; and 
not only so, but there is no love of study to lead them to applica- 
tion. But I expect to like — I mean to like — the West. The 
people, if rough and uncultivated, have a frank, hearty spirit that 
I like. * * * A visit to you would have given me more 
pleasure than any other ; but my duty called me away. How 
often, and especially at this season, do I look back to Derry, and 
thence down the lapse of years ! How varied have been the for- 
tunes even of those I know ! What, then, would be my emo- 
tions, could the whole, the unknown and invisible, be brought 
before my mental eye ? And, as I send forward my thought to 
the end of our generation, how unimportant become all enjoy- 
ments and pursuits that are not connected with an eternal exist- 
ence ! What folly it seems, to live merely for time ! At such 
moments I can with most earnestness pray, " Make me useful ; fit 
by trial, if it please Thee, for an eternal home." But then, as I 
look at my past life, it seems one constant failure, and I one of 
the most unprofitable of servants ! * * * 

I have read nothing new lately, and shall have no time for 
weeks to come. I sometimes sigh that I accomplish so little. I 
hope I am in my " sphere." I will hope to fulfil my " mission n 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 33 

(to use the cant of the day), and to find the rest so beautifully 
described : 

" Rest is not quitting the busy career ; 
Rest is the fitting of self to one's sphere ; 
"lis loving and serving the highest and best ; 
'Tis onward, unswerving — and that is true rest." 

I believe I had much else to tell you ; but I have no time and 
little space to add more, only that I am always your affectionate 
and grateful schoolmate, T. 

TO WILLIAM T. CUTTER, NEW YORK CITY. 

Louisville, Ky., Jan. 1, 1846. 

My dear Cousin : Your last two letters — tokens of kind 
remembrance — were duly received. Christmas, a holiday so much 
observed here, has come and gone ; and New Year, the day in 
New England for good wishes, is passing in silence, and almost 
without a thought. No, not entirely without thought ; for I seize 
my pen to give utterance, in a well-known phrase, to what my 
heart dictates, to wish you " a happy New Year." Bat what a 
day you are making of it, in your city of Gotham ! Nought to 
day is to see in the street, but gentlemen in the blackest coats (or 
if it is very cold, perhaps they are blue, as is the fashion here) 
and the most shining hats, under which are beheld the most smil 
ing faces. These same gentlemen, young and old, grave and gay 
married and single, return wearied yet excited to count the num 
ber of ladies they have kissed, and to hear their female friends 
repeat the calls and the compliments they have received from the 
lords of creation. "Worthy people and happy day, welcomed, no 
doubt, in its coming and in its departure ! Seated quietly in my 
rocking chair, looking out upon a cold, cheerless, rainy day, known 
by few and cared for by fewer, I am content to think that such as 
love me remember me to-day. Yet I would like to hear the 
merry voices and see the glad faces of you all, as you would bid 
me a " happy New Year." Can you not remember with what 
delight you heard and uttered those sounds when a child, when no 
regrets marred the memory of the past, or fears dimmed the 
brightness of the future ? 

Time has passed with meteor-like velocity since I left New 
York. When I think that four months have passed, I almost 
involuntarily pause to take breath. I never knew time pass so 
rapidly : partly I may attribute it to the difference between my 
life here and in the solitude of Virginia. Eight New Years since 
I left the hearthstone of my childhood ! Memory and conscience 
are busy at the thought ! 
2* 



34. MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Louisville, Ky M Feb. 2, 1846. 

* * * Oh ! there is much in a Slave State to make the 
patriot, male or female, mourn for the prospects of his country. 
There is much in these Western lands to make one not only trem- 
ble, but to long to labor to avert (so far as individual influence 
may avail) such evils. I said " the patriot ; " but there is a 
higher stand : it is that of the Christian philanthropist, who sees 
a world lying in sin and ignorance — this land, the brightest spot, 
yet how dark ! The hope of the world (you may say that I see 
with the eyes of a teacher) is in the proper training, moral and 
intellectual, of the young. But I did not mean to give a lecture 
on this subject ; for, luckily, it needs not my pen to advocate such 
truths as the reflecting observer must write with painful earnest- 
ness. A daughter of Dr. Beecher, in her late work entitled, I 
think, " Duties of American Women," has shown the want of, 
and the supply for our country. It is the influence of religious, 
intelligent women, as mothers and as teachers. I have seen vice, 
want, and misery in New York ; but it did not, for some reason, 
excite my anxious sympathy as does the sight of ignorance here. 
As my duties as Sunday-school teacher have led me repeatedly to 
different suburbs of the city, bringing me into contact with pov- 
erty, ignorance, and vice ; as I have passed the hundreds, yes, 
hundreds of " coffee houses " — (for it is an alarming fact that in- 
temperance is on the increase here, and the demand for strong 
liquor has more than doubled in a few years) — I say, as I have 
passed these spots where bodily, mental, and moral death was 
dealt out seven days in the week, and by night as well as by day, 
I have asked, " What can save this land ? " If you say I look 
upon the dark side, remember you are in bright New England. 
Yet, even there, visit thickly settled places, and behold the wants 
of the sailor, the degradation of woman, the suffering of the poor. 
But too much of this. I forget you cannot go with me and see 
what moves my feelings. So long as Providence shall open a 
field, I believe I shall wish to stay here, dearly as I love New 
England. I am engaged in two Sunday schools, one of them a 
colored one ; and here, too, is food for sad thoughts and presenti- 
ments. I will not inflict them upon you. As I generally go 
twice to church, you will suppose my Sabbaths are quite busy. 
As to the rest of the week, one evening I go to church, one 
evening to a teachers' meeting, and, on an average, one evening 
or two are demanded by some other meeting or visit. Saturdays 
are consumed to the utmost in assisting my friend [during the 
long sickness of Mr. W.]. These short days I have hardly found 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 35 

time to make my calls. I have not ventured to write, and hardly 
have dared to read by night, as I wished to give my eyes a fair 
chance to recover their native strength. Evenings are my days : 
yet I dared not use them for my proper and favorite employment, 
study. * * * The friends and acquaintances I have been 
able to make here have been very agreeable. There is a cordial- 
ity and whole-heartedness which is not often met with at the 
North. In some, I have found a good degree — in one, an uncom- 
mon degree of intelligence. But, to a stranger, an open hand 
and heart is a great consideration ; and certainly I never made 
acquaintances so fast, and with so much pleasure, as in Louisville. 
I feel at home. Owing to the fickleness of popular favor, Mr. 
W.'s school has not had the prosperity it last year promised. I 
have therefore withdrawn my engagement for the rest of the 
year, and am at liberty to return ; but I shall remain at the 
West, if I see anything to do. I believe so fully in an overrul- 
ing Providence, that, having committed my way to God, I shall 
trust in His care and guidance. * * * 

I feel less of loneliness than I have felt for years, and, I trust, 
more devotion to the work God has given me to do ; but the seri- 
ous aspect of life is so constantly before me, that I do not enter 
into the spirit of mirth as I wish I could. Your own love is 
more and more precious to me, Mary — so fresh, so constant, so 
warm. As I think of you and Miss Willard, I feel that God is 
good to give me such friends — so different, yet both needed. 

TO "WILLIAM T. CUTTER. 

Louisville, Ky., March 31, 1846. 

Dear Cousin William : I take it for granted that you would 
like to hear from me, though my last letter remains unanswered. 
However, as I did not much expect a reply to so trifling an affair 
as that was, and as I can, to some degree, understand the multi- 
tude of your engagements, I shall "keep silence no longer, but in- 
dulge in the pleasure of writing to my dear friends in New York. 

I presume told you that my connection with Mr. Wil- 

lard's school had ceased, and that my course was, when he left, 
undetermined, except in so far that my face was westward rather 
than eastward. My purpose was to remain at least two years, 
before a return ; and I have constantly retained that purpose and 
hope, and even earnest wish. But you will wish to hear of my 
present location and prospects. After about six weeks' leisure, I 
opened a school in a part of the town where I have hearty friends, 
and where there was a good opening for a school for girls of 
twelve and fourteen years and less, also admitting small boys, 



36 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

brothers of the little girls who might attend. There was some 
difficulty in procuring a schoolroom ; but, aided by the kindness 
and perseverance, and hope and courage and love of a female 
friend, I obtained a pleasant one, and opened school on the 16th 
of March. The first week began -with six scholars, and closed 
with twelve. Now I have sixteen, and several more will enter 
in the course of two weeks. I wish only twenty-five. Teachers 
who have been patient laborers in this city, from small beginnings 
building up an established reputation, tell me that my prospects 
are flattering ; and some of the best here began with less than 
that. They tell me that, if I pay expenses the first term, I shall 
be doing very well. If people pay me, I shall, with my present 
number, do more than that. The friends who encouraged me in 
this course have aided me substantially in various ways. Know- 
ing that my school was, in some sense, an experiment, they 
wished to save me from expenses as far as possible. One of my 
friends wished me to board at a certain place, where I could not 
be received for some weeks ; so she urged me to come and visit 
her till that time. Some aid me by their influence, and strengthen 
my hopes by kind words and wishes. Thus my way is opened, 
and made pleasant by those who, six months ago, were unknown 
to me. Since my first arrival here, I. have become acquainted 
with and really attached to more people than I have ever done in 
any place before this, in double, treble the time. I would like to 
retain the opinion that Yankees have as warm hearts as any 
Americans, though they have more reserve in manner. But how 
precious to a stranger is a kind word and a cordial greeting ! I 
have forgotten to feel that I am a stranger — I am at home ; at 
home, not only among my friends, but in church, and in the Sun- 
day school and Bible class. I still attend the Episcopal church ; 
though it is more than probable that I shall always retain the prin- 
ciples peculiar to Congregationalists. The reasons for my attend- 
ing this church at present, are love of the form of worship, attach- 
ment to one whom I loved as" my pastor in South Carolina, and 
liberty to think what I please about certain doctrines which are 
rather strongly expressed in certain " Confesssions." I am at 
present connected with two Sunday schools, one of which is col- 
ored. Several of the Sunday schools are " union ; " that is, con- 
nected with no church, and admitting teachers of various denomi- 
nations ; and some of them were established by a devoted city 
missionary, who is also superintendent of tract distribution. And 
I suppose you will think I am busier than when in New York, if 
I tell you I am one of the tract distributors. I suppose it is one 
important reason why I like Louisville, because I have a plenty to 
do. I am not in the country, dependent on the will or conveni- 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 37 

ence of any one for religious or social privileges. I see enough 
to do, where not so much the money as the laborers are wanted. 
I think I shall never want to live in a village or small town again 
— at least, if I live a " single lady." 

Thus you have a picture of my public duties and my enjoyments. 
I have perfect health and the best spirits. Have I not, then, 
abundant reason for thankfulness as well as gladness, and renewed 
consecration to Him who gives me all things richly to enjoy ? 
Do you not rejoice with me ? I have filled this paper with self, 
and will try to fill another to Frances with something else. I 
trust you will carry into execution your intention of coming to 
Louisville. May I look for you and F. ? Can you not write 
soon to your ever affectionate and grateful cousin, 

C. P. Tenney ? 

Fragment of a letter to the same, written, probably, within a 
few weeks of the above : 

As I go and return, on the Sabbath, from the church and Sun- 
day schools, I mourn that Christians are not awake and at work 
for their Master. What, think you, would be the effect in this 
city, or in New York, or in any place, if Christians individually, 
and as in view of the account they must give of their steward- 
ship at the great day, were for one year to do what they could ? 
Would the churches mourn that so few come to their solemn 
feasts ? Trinitarians wonder not at the past coldness of Unita- 
rians, but it would be good for them to wonder at their own. I 
do believe it infinitely more culpable, thus in the face of such 
truths as God's word reveals, to sit down in stupidity. Can it be 
that these things are believed ? I don't know how I got into this 
strain. I believe Louisville has generally an interest in religious 
matters, very, very faint and small. And yet there are here 
peculiarly infidelity and Komanism. 

TO THE SAME. 

Louisville, Ky., May 13, 1846. 

* * * It was characteristic of Oliver Cromwell, that in 
every event he saw and confessed the hand of an overruling 
Providence, even in his own wilful and atrocious burning of a 
church full of men, women, and children. His cant so disgusts 
me, that I almost dislike to be like him in any matter. But I 
was going to say, that we were bound to acknowledge a wise and 
kind Providence in adversity as well as in prosperity, and that 
there is a promised supply of strength for every vicissitude of life. 



38 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

Love to cousin F., and your children. In haste. Ever yours, 
sincerely and affectionately, Phebe. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Louisville, Ky., May 13, 1846. 

* * * And here I may as well proceed to speak to you 
of what will, at least, occasion strong surprise ; and if feelings 
more painful should also be excited, be not hasty to pass judg- 
ment upon a course you may not be able to understand or account 
for. I speak of my having become an Episcopalian, and a mem- 
ber of that "communion. You will naturally exclaim, " What can 
have led to such a consummation ? " but you will not — as some 
may, who know me not — suspect me of being influenced by low 
motives, such as a desire for popularity, and so forth ; being kin- 
dred in spirit to those who, in years past, ascribed my Unitarian- 
ism to concession to a brother. Except as it may injure useful- 
ness, either opinion is of little consequence to me ; for cringing is 
not my besetting sin, and to a higher tribunal the matter must 
eventually come. To some, philosophically inclined, the change 
is somewhat accounted for by early training. To such I am not 
eager to offer an apology or a reason. To you, as my earliest, 
dearest, truest friend, who have long loved and trusted me, and 
who kindly and candidly, yet in surprise, inquire further into the 
matter, I am most willing to speak fully. Have patience, then, 
while, briefly and imperfectly, I lay open my spiritual history. In 
early girlhood I was accustomed to hear from the lips' of a ven- 
erated pastor the preaching of " Christ crucified " as the ground 
of the sinner's forgiveness ; early I was led to see my own sinful- 
ness, and to rejoice in just such a provision. Events, of which I 
cannot now speak particularly, changed the course of my life, and 
I began to read my Bible less, and the reasonings and controver- 
sies of men more ; assumptions, in many cases, of what would be 
the dispensations of Infinite Wisdom. You know the result of 
my inquiries : that, though in painful opposition to all my friends, 
I avowed myself a Unitarian. I had then the highest views a 
Unitarian could possibly hold ; and, having entered their church, 
I found little sympathy in actual faith, and still less in feeling. It 
is a solemn fact, which I used in sorrow to confess to myself, that 
I enjoyed myself less with members of my own church than with 
others. The sermons of my own pastor were truly excellent ; 
but he was regarded by his hearers as too " orthodox." The dis- 
courses of the lights of the church were intellectual treats, and 
very often quickeners of thought, and earnestness, and the life of 
the soul. The sermons of the rest had no degree [*]. Not having, 

[* Two or three words probably wanting.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 39 

as I think — as I then often painfully felt — the principles of life, 
they starved my soul. More than this, never could I perceive 
any feeling of union among members of the church as such. 
Alone and lonely, I looked back to a former faith that had given 
me joy. I feared, I doubted, I was distressed and in the dark. 
Passing, in this state of mind and feeling, to the South, I found 
in the preaching of an Episcopalian minister great delight, and 
very soon became attached to a service uniting so many excellen- 
cies. But even then I was very far from accepting the distinctive 
notions of that church, or those which they held in common with 
others. Yet the preaching was direct to the conscience, and much 
of Christ. For a while, distressed by doubt, I put away the ques- 
tions as much as possible, and lived in peace, and again enjoyed 
the services of God's house as I had not done for a long time. 
Coming North, however, I accompanied my brother — who was at 
that time, though I knew it not, far, far from his present faith — to 
meetings which I cannot describe by a single epithet, but which 
tended to social reform rather than anything else. During that 
year I enjoyed little communion with God, and to me He was afar 
off. Oppressed with a sense of unworthiness, I would often seek 
to approach His mercy seat, to feel the sense of pardon that in 
former times had been so sweet. Without a word, I have some- 
times risen and turned to the Bible, which was no more as it had 
been. Well, I went to Virginia. I entered a family of children. 
They had before their eyes the example of a father who was ten- 
der to them, just to his neighbors, but forgot his God, broke his 
Sabbaths, neglected his worship, scoffed at his ministers, and 
sneered at the Bible. Upon such children a strong religious in- 
fluence ought to have been made to bear, I thought, and their 
mother was not a woman to exert it. But should those children 
ever come with earnest spirits to ask me, M What is truth ? " how 
could " the blind lead the blind " ? I cannot describe to you my 
state of mind, or how, at length, I came to question the truth of 
everything, even the Bible. The cloud of despair was on my 
brow, its darkness in my heart. The cry of my spirit was almost 
come to this : a If there be a God, would that I might come to 
the knowledge of His existence ! " Life seemed a burden ; and I 
speak the simple truth, when I tell you that I was startled to hear 
myself laugh. Had I come to you then, on my return North, in 
the summer of 1844, you would, as well as all my other friends, 
in the simplicity of their heart, have exclaimed, " How you have 
altered ! You look worn and melancholy." And it was then, 
and afterward, the remark of my friends in Virginia, that they 
never had seen any one alter so much in the short time I was 
there. My visit afforded me no pleasure ; other causes added 






40 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

weight to my depression, and most emphatically did I move on in 
sorrow. It seemed to me that I must have lived many more 
years than I really counted, so entirely gone were the elasticity 
and hope natural to my constitution. I turned back to the South, 
and, on my way, stopped to visit my former pastor, Mr. Blodgett, 
and to him spoke somewhat of my then present and past state. I 
had kept all to myself, and had, from reading the Bible as my last 
resort, come again to regard it as the Book of God, and, with 
humbled spirit, only prayed that I might know the truth. " Oh 
that I knew where I might find Him ! " was the constant breath- 
ing of my soul. Oh ! I cannot write half that I would say to 
you. I am wearying you; but I can now change my tone. With 
a lightened and happy heart, with thoughts never wearying of 
dwelling upon Him who is the " Light," with feelings that led me 
often to the place of secret communion, I went again my way to 
my Southern home. The Bible was a new book, ever fresh and 
precious, and with grateful tears I read again and again its pages. 
My latest and my earliest thoughts were of Him who, to the be- 
liever, is precious, and in whom dwelleth " the fulness of the God- 
head." From that hour, with more or less steadiness, I have gone 
cheerfully on my way. Coming here, to whom should I so natu- 
rally turn as to the church and the pastor who, in another clime, 
had so blessed me, under God ? And for many reasons, which I 
cannot now stop to mention, I prefer the Episcopal to other Trini- 
tarian churches. You perceive I have spoken mainly of my feel- 
ings ; for arguments on either side are not new to you, and it 
would do no good for us to enter upon them now. I trust I have 
written intelligibly, and that you have perceived nothing dogmatic 
or unkind. It is not for me to speak lightly of the intellects or 
the hearts of such men as the Unitarian body boasts ; and their 
system is not without its strong reasons. But I must think differ- 
ently, very differently from them. Enough for the present. May 
God lead you and me to a closer study and more sincere love of 
His word, and a constant looking to that better life, where the 
truth will be bright as He who is the light of the City above ! 
May we here be united to Christ in the obedience of a holy life, 
and to each other in the love of Him ! 

TO MISS GOODRIDGE. 

Louisville, Ky., June 17, 1846. 

My dear Charlotte : Nearly ten months have rolled away 
since I parted from you ; and though I cannot say I have ex- 
pected, I must say I have hoped for a letter from you. I shall 
not stay to reproach you now, and thus render my present com- 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAK. 41 

munication unwelcome to you. My heart is too full of happiness 
to dwell on aught but pleasant topics. I have intended to write 
you in spite of that total silence, when a convenient opportunity 
should offer. My feeling was quickened, a few days since, by a 
letter from my cousin Almira — the second only that I have re- 
ceived in the time I have been West. What interested me more 
than anything else, was the information that you had left the 
Unitarian Church, and were now attending Mr. Field's ministry. 
From the conversations we had together, last summer, I am not 
astonished at your course. I felt that you were no more at home 
among them than myself, and that you would never be. I long 
to hear from your own pen how you at length came to your pres- 
ent conclusion ; how long you have been attending Mr. F.'s 
church ; whether you find in his ministry, and among his church, 
the supplies which you wanted in the Unitarian communion. 
Tell me how much and how little of the Trinitarian system you 
hold, the difficulties that still darken your way, as well as the 
hopes and comfort that are still yours. How I could wish to be 
with you, to hear you, and to speak with you ! In all, or most 
of this conflict of religious doubt, remember that I have preceded 
you ; and remember that you speak to one who would be a helper 
of your joy. Write me, then, as soon as you receive this ; com- 
mence, at least, a reply at once. I shall look for a letter from 
you constantly, till I receive one. Of my own feeling — my 
doubts, conflicts, hopes, fears, and convictions — I spoke to you 
somewhat when we were last together. You would like to have 
me tell you something more about the matter, I am sure. You 
know, in coming out here, that I came to the acquaintance and 
ministry of one who had been to me a helper and a true pastor. 
Mr. Gallagher had won my respect and affection when I listened 
to his preaching in South Carolina ; he had fed me when I was 
almost starving for the food of the word. Since then my way 
had been providentially directed to the Episcopal Church, till I 
had become attached to its beautiful and refreshing service. You 
will not wonder, then, that I attended here on the ministry of Mr. 
Gallagher. With him I have had many conversations, and a 
patient and faithful pastor has he been to me. Becoming con- 
vinced that episcopacy is the " primitive order," and of Divine 
institution, and most warmly attached to the service and ritual 
of that church, on last Easter I joined the church, and on 
Whitsuntide (commemorative of the descent of the Spirit on the 
day of Pentecost, and coming on the fiftieth day after Easter — ■ 
for they are to the Christian what the Passover and Pentecost 
were to the ancient church) I was confirmed by the laying on 
of the hands of the bishop. And if, to all appearance, I am 



42 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

moored and settled in the church, not less so is it in reality. It is 
daily becoming more and more the church of my affections. In 
all its offices and ritual I see the aids to piety, and I realize the 
responsibility I am now under to excel in goodness. I am led 
now to the green pastures and beside the still waters, and my soul 
has rest. Would that the same church were yours, and that I 
could do aught to commend it to your preference ! The language 
of my heart is that of gratitude, that, though by a devious path 
of great length, I have, by the goodness of God, been led to the 
ark, and have found rest. * * * 

Let me hear from you soon, and then I will write you one of 
my long, old-fashioned letters. I write few of them now. My 
kind remembrances to all inquiring friends. 

Yours, as ever, with sincere affection, Caroline. 

For the next twelve months my sister wrote scarcely any let- 
ters. She left Louisville, May, 1847, and spent the ensuing sum- 
mer with me at my residence in Maine. 

The latter half of her residence in Louisville (which was, in 
all, of twenty months' duration) was not profitable to her, pecu- 
niarily, intellectually, or spiritually. Although happy, she was 
not blessed. I did not fail to observe, on her return, that her 
high standard had been lowered. No time, from our parents' 
death to the end of her earthly life, did she pass with less benefit 
to herself than her second winter in Louisville. In this view of 
the matter I think she herself ultimately acquiesced, though she 
never ceased to prize most highly some of the friendships there 
formed. 

During that second winter in Louisville she became engaged 
to be married to a medical student who boarded at the same house 

with herself (subsequently, and I believe still, Dr. C , of 

Todd County, Ky.), whose partly weak, partly base desertion of 
her will be shown in the sequel. 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 43 

CHAP TEE VII. 

TWO YEARS IN LOWER VIRGINIA. 

184T— 1849. 

Deepening Dislike to Slavery— Desertion by her Betrothed— Severe Mental Conflicts 

and Spiritual Struggles. 

TO MRS. ABBIE M. SUMNER, LOUISVILLE, KY. 

New York, Nov. 3, 1847. 

My dear Mrs. Sumner : Delighted as I was to receive your 
kind letter of October 14th, I did not mean to answer it till I 
could tell you about my location in Virginia. You regret that I 
so soon leave my brother, and add that frequent change does not 
conduce to eminent domestic virtues. I know it well ; but my 
reasons for leaving a brother's roof were these : In the first place, 
I had been freezing all summer with the damps and chills of a 
residence on the seacoast so far at the East, and it seemed to me 
that one winter's stay would be a trial to my constitution which I 
had better avoid, especially as, for two preceding winters, and 
particularly the last, I have had severe colds in the form of coughs, 
and as, by a cold taken early this fall, I seem more disposed to 
cough than ever, hoarseness also constantly troubling me when I 
sing. But even this was not so weighty a consideration as the 
fact that I must have care and employment of my own, and that 
regularly, in order to a moderate degree of cheerfulness. Nor 
were both these so important in the chapter of reasons, as the fact 
that my marriage being at an indefinite and probably at a remote 
distance, and my own pittance diminishing, I must seek not only 
employment, but one which would afford me the means of sup- 
port. Providence (shall I not suppose so ?) sent to me a young 
lady who had been four years at the South, and whose mother's 
health required her return to the East. I go, therefore, " on the 
track of duty." * * * 

Poor Mr. Gallagher ! "What has he done with the children ? 
Has he broken up housekeeping ? 

Where I am going, in Virginia, I expect to go to an Episco- 
pal church. * * * Again let me thank you for your letter. 
I rejoice in the prosperity of the emancipation Examiner in Louis- 
ville. How I long to see you ! Love to all ; and believe me, 
ever yours, gratefully and affectionately, 0. P. T. 



44: MEMOIR OF MBS. KEITH. 



TO MISS PLTJMER. 
Oaken Brow, Ring George Co., Va., Nov. 16, 1847. 

My dear Mary : You will acknowledge that Oaken Brow is 
a " mighty pretty" name wherewith to commence my letter, will 
you not ? Well, the spot thus named is worthy of its cognomen. 
An abrupt yet rounded brow, thinly covered with oaks, locusts, 
and holly trees, overlooks a low, smooth field, bordering the river 
Rappahannock. Upon this is built a fine brick dwelling, and from 
its portico is a lovely view of the river, and numerous mansions 
on its banks. At the distance of some three miles lies the neat 
village of Port Royal (and neat villages do not abound at the 
South). Such is the outward, only more beautiful than these few 
words have told. On the day after my arrival, the lord of the 
manor died, and now sleeps quietly amid scenes his eye was proud 
to rest upon when he could call the fairest his own. From what 

I have seen of Mrs. I think I shall like her much. Her 

characteristic manner is gentle dignity and sweetness, which is a 
manner I most need to imitate, and which is the most agreeable 
of all to me. Two daughters, of thirteen and fifteen, and a little 
girl of ten and a son of eight, make up, with a little nephew and 
niece who come in occasionally to read, my school. The family 
attend the Episcopal church, which is held at Port Royal once in 
two weeks. The minister is a native of Newburyport ; and the 
reasons I speak of him are, that a preacher is an important cir- 
cumstance in the items of my surroundings, and because, " horri- 
bile dictu," he is an extreme conservative, pro-slavery, and all 
that. He spoke of voting for Taylor for President, " merely be- 
cause he was a Southern man ! for, in the crisis approaching, the 
South will need a President to support its interests ! " Yes, truly 
it will ; but shame upon a Northern pro-slavery man — a preacher 
of that gospel which declares that in Christ there are " no bond 
or free " ! * * * I meant this letter should look very nice ; 
but, with these short days, and giving lessons after school on the 
guitar, &c, I find little daylight, and it will not do for me to write 
long by candlelight. My eyes are some stronger. I think that 
beadwork and my colds tried them, and I am now very careful of 
them. Thus, one by one, the signs of old age creep on ! The 
hoarseness which troubled me at your house has still continued to 
trouble me, but to-day and yesterday I have sung with much more 
ease than for a long, long time. I have been singing and prac- 
tising to-day to my great satisfaction. 



* * * 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 45 

TO MRS. WILLIAM T. CUTTER. 
Oaken Brow, Port Conway, King George Co., Va., Dec. 17, 1847. 

My hostess is tall, with dark hair and eyes, gentle 
and dignified in her manners, sad, of course, at present, a woman 
of deep and consistent piety, unfeigned humility, very watchful for 
my comfort, more so than I have ever met one before. My pupils 
are pleasant and docile, though not advanced. My labors are 
much less wearing than in Louisville, and I have not been so free 
from the feeling of exhaustion consequent on teaching since my 
first three months in Upper Virginia. * * * During the first 
two and a half weeks I had completed that quilt (and it is very 
pretty), and had accomplished in the neatest manner the making 
of that same nice English collar you gave me. One of these 
days I shall want to know where I can buy ten or twelve yards 
just like it. I am afraid none could be found in Louisville ; if 
not, I wish W. T. C. would just make a purchase for me when in 
the way of it again. Besides all this work (and I can assure you 
it was no small job to make up such cloth), I have made four nice 
caps, and parts of two more, and have progressed considerably in 
making up the linen I bought. More than that, I have learned a 
good many songs for the guitar, besides writing fifty-five pages of 
letters. Have I not been industrious ? Time flies, and I cannot 
do half I wish. I have been to church only once, there being 
Divine service in Port Royal only once in two weeks ; and as we 
have to cross a river, we cannot go if it threatens rain. But last 
year was a round of excitement, and it is probably good for me 
to be quiet, to hear less and think more. No doubt by all this I 
shall be better fitted for my future duties and privations in the 
West, for privations I expect. Constant occupation, a feeling that 
I am, in some measure, usefully employed, and a measure of affec- 
tion, are necessary to my happiness, though I have given up the 
idea that this world will ever seem a pleasant home to me. 

With most grateful and affectionate regard to yourself and 
husband, believe me, truly yours ever, Caroline. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Oaken Brow, March 22, 1848. 

* * * Though the petitions [to Congress, on the subject 
of slavery] are laid on the table, conscientious men are awake ; 
they are heard, and the truth will prevail. However, all this you 
know. I am obliged to you for sending me the dissertation.* I 

[* Read before an association of ministers. Its position was, " No Chris- 
tian union with voluntary slaveholders."] 



4:6 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

can see no defect in your reasoning, and believe your prediction 
u that the Northern church will eventually take this ground." 
Your position that the institution of slavery is anti-Christian, 
ought not to need an argument. The Examiner [an emancipa- 
tion paper published at Louisville, of whose New- Year number 
(1848) she speaks as "a beautiful specimen of literary taste, 
Christian courage, hope, and effort"] hits, now and then, the 
clergy for their indifference. 

TO WILLIAM T. CUTTER. 

Oaken Brow, near Port Conway, Va., April 4, 1848. 

My dear Cousin : Yours, mailed 28th ult., came to hand this 
p. m. I do not feel altogether well, or in good spirits ; but since 
you were so kind as to write me, I will not, by neglect, seem to 
think little of your attention. * * * There is here a class of 
people, within a mile or two, as degraded as the Hottentots. 
Thus slavery is not only a system of complicated injustice to the 
blacks, but is so oppressive to the poor white people, that it would 
be for their comfort to be black also ; nor would it increase their 
present ignorance, indolence, and degradation. And with all this, 
remember that the higher classes are by this system vitiated in 
morals and enervated by indolence. Cousin, consider well your 
obligations as a Christian philanthropist, and — may I say it ? — 
abjure that unprincipled party that is willing to swallow Polk, 
war, slavery, Mexico, and every abominable thing, to perpetuate 
its power. Join the party of freedom, and battle for the truth. 
Christian politicians should be known, if there be yet any love for 
country, any fear of God. But I spare you. You have seen the 
West and South. Is there not moral death and mental stupor at 
the South ? My brother's last letter -was dated February 7th ; he 

was to leave March 1st. I am glad he is out of ; 

they are the narrowest of narrow people ; and to be a narrow 
Unitarian is abominable. 

TO MRS. SUMNER. 
Oaken Brow, near Port Conway, Va., May 7, 1848. 

My dear Mrs. Sumner : I do not often write on Sunday ; 
but it is not " church Sunday," and this solitary day has had many 
thoughts of you. Not that this is a day when I have thought of 
you more than ordinary, for you little believe how frequently, 
how affectionately I remember you. I wished many times to 
write, but have hesitated to enter your presence unbidden. 

* * * You may have heard that my brother has left 
Maine. I do not know the specific reason of his departure, 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 47 

though I know that he had been intending to leave the coming 
July, at the latest. His independence on the subjects of the war 
and slavery was doubtless the true reason. I presume you have 
seen his article taking the position, " No Christian union with 
voluntary slaveholders." He sent it to me, remarking that it was 
" written not for the South, but for the Northern churches, and 
that they would, though slowly, come to take that position." For 
myself, though I would gladly see differently, I must confess that 
I think his premises Scriptural and Christian, his reasoning evi« 
dent and logical, and his conclusion unanswerable. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

Oaken Brow, May 9, 1848. 

Dear Sister : Your acceptable and interesting letter of the 
3d inst. came to hand this morning, and I will allow myself the 
privilege of commencing a reply at once. Your letter, in every 
point of view, was decidedly the best you have written me since 
we were girls together. Perhaps your present fine spirits had 
something to do with it. If I may speak first of what interested 
me as much as anything, it will be of Bel. How I wished I 
could have heard that sweet accent : " Did aunty send them to 

me?" There is a little niece of Mrs. here occasionally, 

who, in her prattling, reminds me of Bel ; and I know you will 
not accuse Caroline Tenney of affectation, even though I tell you 
that I have often felt a sudden pang akin to homesickness, as I 
have been reminded of Bel, to think I should hear those sweet 
childish accents — yes, that one tone, " Dear aunty ! " — no more. 
But, as long as I live, I shall send her something to speak for me 
to her quick affections. I can sincerely rejoice with you in the 
prospect you speak of, and I cannot help being a little pleased, 
too, in the happiness Bel will derive from a little playfellow. One 
child is so lonely. 

I can well understand your feelings in having been permitted 

to leave so soon. The air, the situation of your house 

was enough to prostrate one's energy ; and then, that social apa- 
thy seemed to stagnate one's blood. is a dead place, as 

to its every aspect, moral, intellectual, social, and physical. 

I was interested in your mention of Miss . I am sure 

— 1 know from my own experience — there is no joy so pure, so 
satisfying, as that of having strengthened or aided a fellow immor- 
tal. I was yesterday cheered by a little note from a teacher in 
a neighboring family, of deep feeling, fair, yes, superior mind, 
thorough cultivation, and most retentive memory. But she is 
very homely, awkward, naturally depending in her character ; has 



48 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

been cowed by a life of dependence and neglect, arising from pov- 
erty and not being understood. To her I have given a sympathy 
which arises from a perception of her difficulties and an appre- 
ciation of her character ; advice, which is the result of more expe- 
rience and a keener observation ; and, more than that, have 
uttered those high, hopeful, noble sentiments, which, though I 
can never live them out, may inspire her with resolve. She looks 
up to me, and I suppose mine is a nature that demands deference, 
in order to have satisfaction in my friends. I would it were not 
so, by the way, but I believe it is. She says she seems to have 
so many things made clearer to her when she has been with 
me, &c. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Oaken Brow, May 13 * 1848. 

My dear Brother : Your long, full letter was something 
like ; it seemed as though I had had a " talk " with your very 
self. Your increased happiness is to me a source of joy. Oh, 
William ! when, last summer, at your house, I saw you — when I 
thought of you, fettered in that prison, a heavy weight was upon 
my heart. And frequent were, and frequent have been since I 
left, the thoughts that your health would fail in that horrid place. 
And in Massachusetts one feels that life is worth having — so free, 
so active. * * * 

It seems to me there is no more elasticity, no more pulse in 
my soul, except to sorrowful emotions. Days have I of dark and 
hopeless melancholy, more or less intolerable, but not one happy, j- 
Do you ask how long this has been ? Three months, intensely 
so. I sometimes wish I had been an ordinary woman — ordinary 
in capacity, ordinary in aim. I have thirsted for enjoyments 
which are pure, noble, high ; enjoyments that will never be mine 
on earth. I have cherished hopes, not unreasonable, but they will 
never be realized. I could not help — I did not plant that thirst. 
It was, it is my nature ; it commenced in childhood ; it must burn 
my soul to fever through life. So I do not care what becomes of 
me. I sometimes think I will go to work in the factory, for its 
dull monotony may suit my dead spirit. There is one serious 
preventive : I believe God has given me talents for a higher work. 

TO WILLIAM T. CUTTER. 

Oaken Brow, near Port Conway, Va., May 27, 1848. 

* * * By the way, my " democratic " cousin, how go the 
times ? Which of those miscreant Northerners, , , 



[* Her birthday.] [f The cause of this will soon be seen.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAR. 49 

or Buchanan, is your choice ? The halls of Congress hear new 
language, and Mr. Calhoun, whether he will or not, must hear sla- 
very discussed. It is to be hoped that honest men will begin to 
understand that iniquity must belong to a system which seeks 
silence and darkness ; which would stop discussion and overthrow 
the press. The beginning of the end is come. While Americans 
are sending congratulations to struggling freemen in Europe, let 
them blush to remember the legalized oppression here. But I did 
not intend to lecture. I stop my pen. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Oaken Brow, July 2, 1848. 

It is not that I have forgotten my best friend Mary, that I 
have permitted her kind letter of April 5 th to remain so long un- 
answered. It is because, at that time, " a cloud no bigger than a 
man's hand " appeared in my horizon ; and as I had written you 
so many gloomy letters in my life, I was determined to avoid such 
unkindness in future. But if I wait till sorrow and disappoint- 
ment have ceased to pursue me, my dear Mary will have reason 
to conclude that I am dead really, or, at any rate, dead to friend- 
ship. You have often predicted for me a brighter future, since 
my path has been so clouded. I could never give assent to your 
prophecies ; it is not according to the analogy of nature. Ifj in 
the morning, clouds obscure what was at first a bright sun, very 
seldom does the sun return to gladden that day. But, to leave 
poetic fancies, and speak of the reasons why I cannot hope for a 
bright future : Does not the beginning which one makes in the 
world mould as well as foretell his career ? I know it is so. Mis- 
fortune has claimed me for her own. Lest you should for a mo- 
ment blame me, and be impatient with what you may be disposed 
to think are unreasonable vapors, let me come at once to the point. 
You have heard, no doubt, of the fickleness of woman ; but since 
that is not my sin at present, let me ask you if you have never 
heard of the inconstancy of man ? I have to tell you that I am 
its victim. * * * 

And now my story is done. Weeks of anguish inexpressible 
his acquaintance has caused me, and a blighted future. * * * 

Mrs. wishes me to stay ; but Robinson Crusoe was scarcely 

more solitary. The people here, though the aristocracy, have less 
ideas than any I ever knew. Yet there are two toadyish Yankee 
men teachers in the county, who play sycophant on all occasions, 
preferring the South to the North. The South I with all its men- 
tal and moral stupor, its dissipation, its utter forgetfulness of man's 
noblest duties ! The South ! a moral waste — to the free, enter- 
3 



50 MEMOIR OF MBS. KEITH. 

prising, intelligent North, because there is more luxury here than 
they knew — more leisure ! As if life was meant to be a leisure 
day ! Oh, I could tar and feather such Yankees ! But to return 
to self: Here am I, my chafed spirit tearing in vain its prison. 
For hours I walk my solitary chamber to exhaust my body, that 
my mind may sympathize, and sink into calmness. The weather 
is the hottest I ever felt. What is there in the world for me ? 
My fate has ever been one long contradiction between reality and 
my tastes and desires. It began in my childhood. * * * 
You are surrounded by a gay party. Let me not cloud your 
mirth. "Withdraw to give but one hour to a sorrow-stricken, 
broken-spirited woman. I shall be here till August 1st certainly ; 
probably I shall remain next year — an interminable year. 

TO MRS. SUMNER. 
Oaken Brow, King George Co., Vs., July 15, 1848. 

My dear Mrs. Sumner : I know your patience and charity 
will pardon this intrusion. "When I was within reach of your 
kindness, it never failed ; and since you ever manifested so gen- 
erous an interest for me, I would fain have you know my more 
recent fortunes. Since to you was known the commencement, so 
would I have you know from me, rather than from rumor, the 
close of the deepest tragedy in my history hitherto. My lover 
has told me " to seek happiness elsewhere than from him " ! The 
subject is painful ; but I wish you to know his course, and as 
briefly* as possible I will narrate the story that has for its subject 
my disappointment and sorrow. Immediately on his return home, 
though his thoughts had more liberty to turn to me, his letters fell 
fifty degrees in temperature. The words, the form were there, but 
the spirit had fled. He spoke of his friends' feelings on the sub- 
ject, and their reasons — namely, my being a "Yankee," "not 
rich," my age and consequent fixed habits in connection with my 
training in a Free State, and my known disapproval of slavery, 
my superior education, and my religious preferences and opinions I ! 
I saw the cloud in my horizon "no bigger than a man's hand," 
and I became gloomy as when I wrote you last ! But I scrupu- 
lously kept the knowledge of it from him. I would sometimes 
rewrite a letter three times in order to make it perfectly free from 
anything like sadness. May 15th he sat down deliberately, and 
stated the " reasons which forbade the consummation of our en- 
gagement." You shall hear them. First, "my superior mind 
and its unusual cultivation, together with my age, would make me 
much more than his equal." Second, " our temperaments never 
would chord, for his love would ever seem to me careless and in- 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 51 

different/' In proof of this, he quoted those old misunderstand* 
ings that had long ago been mutually forgiven. Yet, three times 
since our reconciliation he has left me to suffer agony from his 
confessed — mark, I say confessed — habit of procrastination. I 
never complained. Admonished by the past, I schooled my heart 
to suffer in silence, but I felt it a dark omen for the future ; for if 
a man can procrastinate in writing to his betrothed, in what will 
he be punctual ? Third, the fact that u he had been raised \ty 
slaveholding parents, and held notions abhorrent to mine " ! Take 
notice : last winter he requested me to write something on the 
subject of slavery, and let him have it published in the Examiner. 
In my reply, speaking of the "evil," I ventured to call it a "sin." 
He took fire as though I had slandered his parents. I suffered 
what, I tell you, I would not suffer again for the love of the very 
best man that ever trod the earth. I made an idol ; I resolved 
that that should be to me, thenceforth, an untouched, forbidden 
theme for his sake. I wrote him a gentle reply, expressing my 
regret. Then it was his turn to repent, having thus harshly turned 
upon me. What is slavery but a sin ? for every evil is a sin, or 
the result of sin. You have now all his reasons as laid before 
me ; and, lest you should think my own indiscretions have brought 
this upon myself, I will quote other expressions from his letter. 
He began by saying he " took the side of reason against hopes 
which had shed the only light upon an existence dark in its boy- 
hood, but dimly lighted in its early manhood, and that was now 
about to enter a double gloom for the rest of his life." He says 
his admiration and esteem for me have never grown less, while his 
love has increased ; that he still and ever places me higher and 
higher as a moral and intellectual being ; that, having known me, 
he can conceive of perfection in no other ; and he has no expecta- 
tion that time will extinguish his affection. But while he is so 
imperfect, he can never be competent, consequently never willing 
to receive my hand ! He continues : " I know that I am loved 
more truly, more sacredly, than it is the lot of many to receive ; 
for but few have your capacity to love. I know that you will 
make one (worthy of you) more than happy;" and then, with a 
brief wish for my happiness, without one lingering word to the 
sweet memories of our pleasant hours, our united hopes, he bids 
me adieu. 

* * * I wrote him such a reply as I could. His answer 
came — one page ! In that, he again called me his " dearest 
friend," but said "he knew not what to write, for he had proved 
himself defaulter in every principle that constitutes a man ; sleep- 
ing and waking, he saw the frowns of all that was sacred and 
dear ; he was completely changed in every respect ; more aban 



52 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

doned in his hopes than ever ; not a particle of confidence in him- 
self in anything, and asking the "curses justice demanded." 

TO HER BROTHER. 
Oaken Brow, King George Co., Va., July 21, 1848. 

My dear Brother : Yours of July 7th was long in coming. 
It arrived the 1 8 th. In reply, I have so much to say that I know 
not where to begin, what to omit, or where to end. I was sorry 
after I sent off that " gloomy letter." Yet perhaps it was as well 
— at least, for one constituted as I am. "When I had fairly writ- 
ten down in black and white the unchristian and impious thoughts 
that possessed me, I more fully realized their sinfulness and incon- 
sistency. For several days subsequent, a struggle was going on 
between my will and God's providence. I knew, I felt the devil 
within me ; and the consciousness that I was wrong in spirit added 
bitterness to every other sorrow. I remember two days — a Sat- 
urday and a Sunday. I do not think I can ever forget them. For 
hours and hours of those days I walked my room, until I could 
walk no longer from veriest fatigue. Not a tear moistened my 
eye — for they choked me, and my head seemed full to bursting. 
The same condition lasted two or three days longer, only the du- 
ties of school partially diverted me for a few hours. This was 
misery, unrelieved by one smile from Heaven ; for, in a state of 
rebellion, how could I look for support where only it was to be 
found ? Almost desperate, one day, immediately after dinner, I 
went to my room, and locked the door, determined, by God's help, 
then and there to commune deeply with my own spirit ; to wrestle 
earnestly for all needed grace in this my time of trial ; to bend my 
will, resign all to Him, and then to prove, while I trusted in the 
truth of His promise, the reality of His presence. And need I 
tell the sequel ? Did any one ever seek the ear of Infinite Love, 
and go away unheard, unpitied, or unblest ? From that hour to 
this I have been at peace. The healing dews from Heaven have 
cooled and refreshed my fevered spirit. In other days I have 
been at peace, when storms had passed, and when a brighter sky 
was opening in the distance ; now, though clouds are upon every 
side, I am able to possess my soul in patience. I can respond to 
your conviction, for I have a "witness within myself," that by this 
great trial of my life " my character will be purified and strength- 
ened." Most of the possessions, the hopes, the ambitions of my 
past life have vanished ; but there is an enduring possession, an 
undying hope, a purified ambition, still my own. I have delayed 
many times in the past to pluck the flowers that spring up in my 
pathway, and have withdrawn my gaze from the unfading flowers, 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAB. 53 

the changeless treasures, that are in store only for the faithful. 
But now it seems to me " the weights " have fallen off in this fur- 
nace, and that I shall come forth girded for future effort and con- 
flict. I speak thus in no spirit of boasting or of self-confidence — 
far, far the contrary, as the All-seeing One is witness ; but I feel 
that life's fevered years for me are gone, never to return. My 
spiritual eyesight is cleared, my spirit wiser, my aim more earnest. 
It is now almost three years since I sought the West. What 
years they have been to me ! and I have frequently thought that 
all the joy that could be expected in my future years, were they 
many, would not suffice to outweigh the bitter moments I had 
spent in these three years. But I do not feel so now. Though 
in many things I ought to have done otherwise, and done better, 
done wiser, still I can but feel that my life West, and its conse- 
quent experiences, have fitted me for larger usefulness than could 
have been had my life passed on in the ordinary routine of 
woman's sphere. My whole being is quickened, my mental hori- 
zon enlarged. In this view, therefore, I do not regret the past, 
and I look with chastened but firm hope to the future. I say 
with hope ; but mark, no hope of ease, or wealth, or exemption 
from trial ; no hope of what is called u bright days to come." 
But I do hope, I do expect to be useful in the more elevated sense, 
in influencing the minds and hearts of those who may come in the 
sphere of attraction. And in this noble aim I must think often 
and drink the spirit of Christ's words : " For this cause I sanctify 
myself." I have often, and for many years, thought that, for my 
highest training, a peculiar and a severe discipline was needed, and 
would be given ; and theoretically I have not wished to avoid the 
means of moral purification, whatever it might be. Shall I prac- 
tically not only shrink, but murmur when the ordeal comes ? Nay, 
shall I receive the appointed token of adoption as one "whom the 
Lord loveth," without the disposition of grateful, trustful submis- 
sion ? Oh ! no, no. Amid the wreck of so many hopes, beneath 
the clouds that darken the future, my trust in God was never so 
firm ; and as I review the many pure influences of the years that 
are gone, which His providence gave me, and, with them, gave 
also the disposition to receive them ; when I recall the teaching 
and example of those who have been my own pastors, men of 
moral character so elevated, and from whom my young mind 
drank in the love of excellence and noble aims ; when I see how 
a serious mind and a taste for books have led me into communion 
with the truly noble and good ; — when I see all this, and ten 
thousand times more, most sincerely do I enter into the spirit of 
the thirty-fourth Psalm, especially the third verse. * * * 
And this reminds me of one of my late aims and hopes. It 



54 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

is, a moral power over individuals, resulting particularly from my 
power of reading others, and from my varied experience and quick 
sympathies. Now, I am deeply sensible that I need much more 
discretion and moderation than I have, and a holier, more con- 
sistent character, to make the most and best use of what must be 
otherwise a useless gift, often a pernicious one. I could fill pages 
with examples and illustrations to the point. How many have 
said to me : n You seem to read any one like a book — to look 
them through ; " * and not merely to read and look, but to " meet 
the experience — to anticipate it — to develop to others their own 
undefined difficulties." I know my dangers in connection with 
this gift (it was a gift that belonged by nature to my mother), but 
I will try to consecrate it to the holiest uses. I speak of this, to 
show you what thoughts, purposes, hopes, fill my mind. I want 
you to see that I " look not mournfully on the past." No, it is 
not for the Christian to despair. My misanthropic speculations 
were always rebuked by the thought that for such a world as this 
the Son of Man came down from heaven ; " for such a world He 
toiled here — died — rose — intercedes. How impious, that an im- 
perfect, sinful being like myself should be out of patience and 
hope with a world which a holy God has done so much for, and 
bears with so long ! My literary, or rather my bookish tastes 
seem fresh as ever, and I know I enjoy the pure world of well- 
chosen books more than the love of Mammon and his wealth ; for 
the source of pleasure is higher, more exquisite. I tell you I 
would not sell my taste for books — for pure and serious reflection 
— for the Indies. I wish to enter immediately on a course of real 
study, that will develop, enrich, and strengthen my mind — give it 
more depth, and yet variety of power. I do not know what may 
open before me, and I remember : " Wisely improve the present ; 
it is thine." In regard to my sphere and my capabilities, " Excel- 
sior" must be my motto henceforth. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNET. 

July 26, 1848. 

My dear Kate : As I have written so long a letter to 
William and to Bel, I must make the most of this little sheet of 
paper. I am relieved from anxiety to hear of your welfare, and 
am glad your gift was a boy. * * * 

Reading and study will be the order of exercises for next 
year, if I live and have my health. I see, more plainly than ever, 

[* This remark needs qualification. Some persons she seemed to read by 
intuition. In other cases, especially where biassed by her affections, she 
made very great mistakes.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 55 

my faults, my mistakes, and my powers ; and, with God's help, 
the former shall be avoided, and the latter used as they have 
never been. I feel not only that I give satisfaction here, but that 

I am doing good in the color I give Mrs. 's views, for she 

is a mother. I speak thus, that you may see what hopes they are 
that fill my heart and sustain my spirit in such an apparent deso- 
lation as this. Yes, Kate, I have endured much, but " as seeing 
Him who is invisible ; " and I know it will be my fault if I do 
not experience the truth of the promise : " All things shall work 
together for good." I do not mean good things or bright things, 
as the world see. I no longer look for them ; but I know I can 
be a useful woman. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Oaken Brow, Va., Aug. 31, 1848. 

* * * I purpose to remain here till next August (1849), 
and then farewell (I trust) to the land of mental torpor and moral 
death ; welcome the land of Sabbath bells, of schools, of books, 
of freedom. How deplorable the degradation of the poor in "Vir- 
ginia ! A New Englander has no conception of it. There are 
some Yankee teachers about here, who drink wine, praise the 
South, flatter, fawn, ridicule the Yankees ! I pity at times, at 
other times despise. Sons of New England, yet not able to appre- 
ciate her mental and moral elevation I Of all the places it has 
been my lot to know among the upper class, this King George 
County is the most devoted to self in all the forms of ease and 

dissipation. "When Mr. B was here, he taught singing for 

the sake of improving the church psalmody of the Methodist and 
Baptist churches. He went among the " Blags " (the degraded 
white men) to teach them. How can I help saying to myself 
sometimes, " I wish I was a man " ? I see so much that Yankee 
men might do even here, if they would ; but then, perhaps, I 
should be engrossed with men's ambitions. * * * 

For bosom companions, I admire Fenelon and Thomas a 
Kempis. I intend soon to dive into the merits of Upham's " In- 
terior Life." Christians do not make the most of their privileges. 
They are not willing, in the true sense, to " go up higher." 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Oaken Brow, Va., Sept. 3, 1848. 

My dearest Mary : Your kind and affectionate letter of the 
3d ult. was peculiarly welcome, for it came to me during hours of 
illness. I was just becoming convalescent from an attack of bil- 
ious fever of the remittent character. * * * 



56 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

Half of Virginia would not tempt me to live South. " Live 
or die, sink or swim, survive or perish," I will live no more in 
Slave States. I desire to speak in submission to Providence, for 
I have learned that it is vain to oppose our destiny ; but I long — 
oh, how I long ! — to go back to the free, intelligent North ! One 

year more, Mary, and my slavery, I trust, is ended. Mrs. 

is very kind, and I live much at my ease ; but oh ! the mental 
and moral torpor that reigns here ! this isolation ! this living 
death ! Sunday after Sunday to see no church ; week after week 
to see no one who cares, or ever will care for you (for here teach- 
ers are a caste), is not life ; it is sleep (to use the mildest term). 
I am applying myself most devotedly to my books ; and, if my 
health is spared, I expect to accomplish a great deal the coming 
year. 

By tasking the day and myself, I get along without much 
ennui. 

" Though the present has its tortures, and the past its stores of ill, 
To the future — to the future let us look with courage still." 

I can still be a useful woman, and therefore a happy one; 
not happiest, but still happy. And from this furnace I trust to 
come forth purified. By natural tendencies I have many faults ; 
they he on the surface of my character, while, generally, people's 
faults are more hidden. Thus, though always thirsting for useful- 
ness, I have failed to attain my desires. Now, I see and am 
ardent to pursue the " more excellent way." I look with humble, 
prayerful hope to the future. I see enough to live for. * * * 
How ridiculous it is to see the Southerners, who have never 
entered a Free State — who never read (for they cannot easily fall 
in with) books of M large discourse " upon men and manners, laws 
and institutions — who see only speeches of Southern men, and the 
lies about Northern ones — how ridiculous to see them sit down 
and glorify their dying States ! It is the glory " that was." 
* * * It is after severe storms only that a healthy serenity 
reigns ; it is after great tribulation that the soul attains deep-seated 
peace. Yes, dear Mary, the Comforter is present with me, and I 
cannot, as I ought, express my gratitude to God for His sustain- 
ing, healing mercies in this sorrow. Except a few awful days, I 
have been able to look up with submission, even though the cup 
seemed bitterer than death. But does not our kind, infinite Father 
" do all things well " ? 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 57 



TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

Oaken Brow, Va., Oct. 4, 1848. 

My dear Sister : Yours of September 22d was duly re- 
ceived ; but I cannot describe the shock it gave me. I would 
have taken my pen immediately, but I felt too, too sad. Perhaps 
you will hardly believe it, but I did little but weep the rest of the 
day and the next but one ; for, on the intervening day, I was con- 
strained to make a visit for which I was engaged, and I have ac- 
quired sufficient control over myself in my many sorrows to smile 
when my heart is aching. 

I could tell you how I was discouraged and grieved for my- 
self, when I knew I should never see that little Charles ; but I 
thought more of you and William. * * * But I will not 
recall all that crowded upon my spirit to oppress it, nor will I 
dwell upon my hitherto ineffectual struggles to regain quiet resig- 
nation. I have alluded to them only that you may be convinced 
of my deepest and tenderest sympathy. Fain would I speak of 
what may console and cheer ; yet I hesitate, for the fount of a 
mother's love I may not approach. It is too sacred. Those only 
who have suffered as parents have a right to speak of comfort. 
But I rejoice that you have been so supported under a dispensa- 
tion so trying, that you are able to say : " Thy will be done." 
And I cannot be thankful enough that little Bel is spared to you, 
to comfort you by her affection. I cannot tell you how I long to 
hear those sweet tones. Tears blind me as I write. Teach her 
to love me ; for I have no one else to speak to me in the tones of 
love. 

TO MRS. SUMNER. 

November 6, 1848. 

* * * Since I wrote my last, I have struggled with many 
waves and billows of feeling, of anxiety, besides even the one 
keenest sorrow and trial of my life. But, as the winds and tem- 
pests sometimes drive the shattered bark into a safe, nay, even a 
calm haven, so am I quietly anchored in implicit trust in God's 
wise and kind Providence, in sincere submission to all His will 
concerning me. I bear marks of the perils and sufferings of the 
past. I remember the various rocks and quicksands upon which I 
had wellnigh made shipwreck ; and here am I, resting, to learn 
wisdom, if I may, from the mistakes and dangers of the voyage, 
•and getting repairs and new outfit against my summons to a new 
cruise upon the untried sea of the future. It may be more dark 
and troubled than any I have hitherto known ; but shall I not 
more frequently study the Chart and consult the Compass, and use 
3* 



58 MEMOIR OF MES. KEITH. 

oftener the lead and measuring line, and, in the last extremity, 
cling to the M sure and steadfast Anchor " ? * * * 

I purpose to pursue farther some studies under my brother's 
direction and supervision, such as logic, rhetoric, mental philoso- 
phy and moral, probably Latin, &c. I hope to be allowed to fill 
some place in New England honorably, wisely, usefully. Surely 
the discipline of the past, what it has taught me of my own heart 
and character, and thus the more certainly of human nature in 
ordinary, is not all in vain. I hope I have made some little prog- 
ress in that difficult branch of study, self-knowledge ; and I try to 
move on (though I confess I go but slowly) in the still more ardu- 
ous pursuit, self-improvement — improvement of the moral nature. 
I do hope that at length I may be of some use ; that my life will 
not all be wasted ; that, now my pride has been so sorely chas- 
tened, my hopes sobered, my motives analyzed, and, it may be, 
purified, my passions moderated, my whole nature softened — oh ! 
I do hope that I may be strengthened to discharge more faithfully 
and earnestly life's duties, and, without impatience or repining, to 
take up its burdens, and pass on. 

TO HER BROTHER 

Oaken Brow, Va., Nov. 18, 1848. 

* * * There is no misery so perfect as that which consists 
in hard thoughts of God, especially when the conscience, faithful 
to her trust, constantly whispers that to cherish such thoughts 
is the most Heaven-daring sin. In past years, in the days when 
my sorrows were in imagination, in fear of the future, I used to 
indulge in the "luxury" of grief. But, in this time of real 
trouble, I have never ceased to struggle, by every means, " to 
keep up," to keep busy, "to do the duty that lay next" me. I 
have been greatly burdened with sorrow and care and anxieties 
and fears, and I could hardly keep my footing ; but I feel as 
securely planted now, as it is best for frail mortals ever to feel. I 
have cast all my burden upon Him who careth for me, and there 
will I leave it. Yes, I have suffered, and have yet to suffer ; but 
I not only know, but feel it to be all for the best. * * * 
Shall I not more effectually remember, and act as remembering, 
that this world is not my home, and, with singleness of purpose, 
address myself to the work of a Christian pilgrim ? My deepest 
trials and gloom have been suffered in Virginia. When under 
that Egyptian darkness of religious despondency in Jefferson 
County, I felt that I could endure anything patiently, even cheer- 
fully, could I but know the truth, and be sustained by Christian 
hopes. I am a very imperfect and inconsistent Christian ; yet it 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 59 

is Christianity that has sustained me now, and I would go through 
any imaginable earthly suffering, rather than be destitute, as in 
1844 I was destitute, of religious light and comfort. * * * 

I cannot but feel that it was a kind Providence that prepared 
for me this quiet, pleasant home, while the storms were beating 

upon my soul. The labors are light. Mrs. is very kind, 

and nowhere could I have been so much at my ease. You know 
I could not have enjoyed society ; and here I have been screened 
from it, and in silence, unobserved, I have struggled alone. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

November 21, 1848. 

My dear Kate : As I sit down to reply to yours, just re- 
ceived, I cannot but acknowledge the wish that springs up in my 
heart, that I could spend a few days with you. I feel confident 
that, while I could offer the truest sympathies of an affectionate 
relative, I could also help cheer and encourage you. Not that I 
think of you as sad or desponding, for you say, " God's goodness 
is ever before me ; " and if such is the case, I know you can say, 
" Sorrowful, yet rejoicing." Much, very much of God's precious 
word is addressed to the afflicted ; and would not that portion be 
to us a sealed book, had not the hand of sorrow reached to us the 
key ? And, in my trial, I have been so helped to exercise (ex- 
cept at some few and brief intervals) submission — nay, more, I 
have been granted such a sense of His goodness, that it seems to 
me I wish to impart to every one who is afflicted something of 
that trust, that childlike trust, which can make every burden light. 
I have somewhere, some time, read of a man, who, being in great 
affliction in the near prospect of death of a very dear child, as the 
hour of affliction drew near, betook himself to his closet, and, 
when he left it, relieved the apprehension of surrounding friends 
(they being afraid to tell him the child was dead), by declaring 
that, " for such views of God's love, goodness, and excellence ir 
every perfection as he had that hour enjoyed, he could be content 
to lose a child every day." This may seem to you exaggerated 
and unnatural ; but, in my own case, I can assure you, in the lan- 
guage "of truth and soberness," that I have, more than once, or 
twice, or thrice, felt that I was willing to go again all through this 
furnace of last summer (seven times heated though it often 
seemed), if I might often enjoy that delight in God as my wise 
Sovereign, my tender Father, my merciful Redeemer, my ever- 
present Comforter. You remember, and, I doubt not, you know 
the meaning of that line of the poet : 

" Sweet to lie passive in His hand, 
And know no will but His." 



60 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

In great trials, I am aware, we are more apt to attain this feel- 
ing ; for, conscious of our own weakness, we fly to Him who alone 
can and who ever will help the needy suppliant. You are not 
without great trials ; but you have also little ones, and these, I 
know, are the most dangerous to our peace. I read that St. Paul 
says that " all things shall work together for good to those who 
love God," and have come to feel the significance of that word 
" together." Do they not all work by His appointment or per- 
mission ? and the little and the great must work " together." 
This may seem like cant, or, at any rate, may be tiresome. But 
I feel every word I say, and hope to feel it all my life. To have 
a lively impression of God's goodness, a proper remembrance of 
our own unworthiness, a suitable sense of what Christ has suffered 
for us, is all that is necessary for enduring, not only with submis- 
sion, but with grateful submission, all that He appoints. Dear 
Kate, I hope I do not seem unfeeling, or to talk lightly of afflic- 
tion. But my predominant sentiment is grateful praise to God. 
I am [not] content to cherish these feelings in silence, and I 
want some one to help me praise. Now, if this expression seem 
Methodistical, I cannot avoid it. In that respect King David was 
a Methodist. * * * 

All anxieties now seem to have vanished into one — viz., to be 
useful. * * * 

I thank "William for the item concerning Mrs. Dana.* How 
well can I understand the whole process which her mind has gone 
through ! How well do I sympathize in the sweet feeling of re- 
pose she finds in her present church relation ! Often have I 
thought of her, and, only a short time since, I remember reflect- 
ing that it would not be surprising to hear that she had sought 
that faith which teaches, " being justified by faith, we have peace 
with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Oaken Brow, Va., Dec. 9, 1848. 

* * * I have forgotten when I wrote you last. I pre- 
sume it was in August, and I have been on the point of writing 
several times since then ; but I have written and thought so much 
about " myself " for the last six months (that is, to my intimate 
friends, in Danvers, in New York, Louisville, and to my brother), 

[* Mrs. Mary S. B. Dana, of Charleston, S. C, educated a Presbyterian, 
afterward a Unitarian, and author of a work concerning her change of doc- 
trinal opinions, entitled " Letters to Relatives and Friends," had just been 
*• confirmed " in the Protestant Episcopal Church.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAR. 61 

that I could not convince myself you were not as tired of the 
subject as I. * * * 

You say truly, that, " with the hopes and plans I entertain, I 
may be far happier than the so-called child of good luck." Yes, 
for how few have any great plan or purpose in life ! and, though 
I may never succeed, may never attain, yet is it not much to be 
able to keep alive my resolutions, my efforts, my high aims, and 
a noble object ? "When I approach this subject, dear Mary, I feel 
as though I could find no language strong enough for me but that 
of the Psalmist : " Oh ! magnify the Lord with me, and let us 
extol His name together." I have been enabled to meet what 
His chastening hand permitted, and to say : " Thy will be done." 
And He has not tried me beyond what I was able to bear, or left 
me without His presence and support. I have suffered deeply, 
but never before could I speak so experimentally of the joys of 
religion. Had it not been for religious motives and hopes, I am 
sure I should have become for years a self-abandoned, wretched 
being. I do not see how irreligious people bear trials. For my 
part, I have no " philosophy," and it is only by a recognition of 
God's paternal dealing that I ever could approach such a state of 
content. You say : " If you are able to maintain these feelings," 
&c. I have some things I would like to say in this connection 
that I cannot now do justice to, and so will go on by saying that 
I have a humble confidence that I shall be supported. * * * 

" Look not mournfully on the past ; it comes not back again. 
Wisely improve the present ; it is thine. Go forth to meet the 
shadow future without fear, and with a manly heart," cannot be 
too often repeated. I have dwelt much on my feelings, and 
especially upon my religious consolations, because I thought it 
would be what you would wish to hear. In spite of rules, ego- 
tism in letter writing is mutually desired by friends. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

Oaken Brow, Va., Dec. 23, 1848. 

My dear Kate : I sit down to chat with you a little ; not 
that I feel " in the mood " particularly, but I am always in the 
mood to talk to those I love. * * * 

I sometimes wish I could have again that girlish enthusiasm, 
vivid emotion, intense, trusting attachment ; but that is fled. I 
am cheerful and content, but I must say I am one of those who 
deem early youth the happiest. Those fresh, vivid feelings of 
delight, awe, wonder, affection, are crushed by time. But I did 
not mean to give a " homily " on this. You speak of your Fair.. 
I am glad to see you satisfied and happy ; but I cannot feel 



62 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

any pleasure in the prosperity of a Unitarian church as such. 
Though I am not a prophet, or a prophet's daughter, depend 
upon it, five years from this will not see "William a Unitarian 
preacher.* * * * 

I wish I had been a man, or else a meek, quiet woman. This 
dependence is so galling. I should fret about it, if religious prin- 
ciple did not forbid. When I see dead-and-alive, half-hearted, 
half-spirited men, unconscious and unfaithful to their duties as 
men, in this world of sin and suffering, I am indignant. But " in 
patience possess your soul." I suppose you will be glad to have 
me stop, for I have mounted a sharp pen. Well, it is all in real 
good nature. Now, don't imagine a sharp tone to it. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Oaken Brow, Va., April 2, 1849. 

* * * By this mail I send you two Louisville Examiners. 
I would send them oftener, but they are all so good, I do not 
know how to choose. Queer reason ! They are admirable, 
indeed ; but I cannot half enjoy them, for want of some one to 
taste them with me. It is like sitting down to an elegant repast 
without a companion. If humility be the " first, second, and third 
grace " for a Christian, truly patience must be a similar requisite 
for a successful reformer, who sees clearly, feels acutely, yet must 
get on slowly against the stupidity, prejudice, and selfishness of 
human nature. The prospect in Kentucky does not promise as 
well as I had hoped : still it is evident there is an advance.f The 
prosperity of Liberia is. a most fortunate concurrent, for it has 
been a favorite theme with slaveholders, to scare the negroes with 
bugbears about Liberia. Once in a while I find out something on 
the dark side of slavery (I use the adjective comparatively, since 
all is dark) which it was not intended for a Northerner to get hold 

of. Rev. Mr. says he likes Virginia better than New 

England. I did not ask him his reasons (they must be curious), 
because I respect his character so little, that I was afraid I might 
be betrayed into an unbecoming expression. Of all contemptible 
individuals, he is the most contemptible who prefers the mental 
and moral apathy of a Slave State to the activity of the Free 
States. 

I forgot to remind Kate, in reply to her allusion to Macaulay, 
of what, perhaps, she does not distinctly keep in remembrance, 
that it is a " hierarchy " wedded to state about which she reads. 
The human heart seems to be nearly the same in its manifesta- 

[* A prediction still unfulfilled.] 

[f The subsequent election showed, instead of advance, retrogradation.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAR. 63 

tions, when power is given. And if you refer to the reigns of 
Charles II. and James II., you may lay nine tenths of the sin at 
the door of those disgusting fanatics of the days of Cromwell. I 
read the Life of that latter wretch by Carlyle, his apologist, and, 
since then, his name is abominable to me. What cant, what vul- 
garity, what blasphemy in those days ! Well might there be a 
reaction. The more I study history, the more I see reason to be 
proud of the Anglican Church ; of her learned, wise, apostolic 
ministry ; of the ages that were contemporary and successive to 

Luther. You smile at that word " apostolic." Mr. is no 

apostle, but he owns Macaulay. I don't, however, like to ask him 
for it. 

I have been reading Miss Strickland's " Queens of England " 
— an intensely interesting work. Of all the queens I have yet 
read of, I sympathize the most with Margaret of Anjou, of whom 
you see, in current histories, the passing remark that, though her 
sufferings were great, we can have little sympathy with her in 
them, because, forsooth, she had a masculine spirit. Well might 
she have, when fighting for her husband and son ! But I pity 
intensely any woman, now or in past ages, in private or in public 
station, of masculine mind. Could I choose my own character, 
and enter again upon life, I would beg to be saved from anything 
but mere passable sense and the most superlative amiability. 
Since a part of the "curse" was the subjection of woman, it is 
better she should be so constituted as not to perceive it. I got 
about as mad, the other day, with some of Dana's lectures on 
Shakspeare, as I used to do with the commonplace Mrs. Ellis. 
And yet they, not I, are in the right. Indeed, the greatest trial 
of my life has been to content myself with the sphere of woman. 
Her dependence — oh 1 it is excruciating, and yet necessary. You 

remark that you are glad I have found out so soon. Yes, 

it is well. It did relieve my sorrows at the first, and it will do so 
in future. But, after the first day or two, there was a reaction, 
like that of scattering some local pain or disease over the whole 
system. When I remembered the apparent truth, sincerity, and 

conscientiousness of ■ , and also his later deceptions, I no 

longer was able to maintain even my usual charity for this world. 
W ho can stand the test ? And I had no longer the consolation 
of thinking I had loved an object morally worthy of my affec- 
tions. I had thought him conscientious in his errors and short- 
comings ; but now, what excuse was there for his writing letters 
expressive of superlative misery and despondency, while he was 
flirting with others ? I found such thoughts as these very pain- 
ful, but I try to believe I shall yet be able to be patient and hope- 
ful with myself, and other sinners. 



64 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Oaken Brow, April 10, 1849. 

My dear Mary : Your long and interesting letter of March 
1st was duly received ; and from your request that I would write 
immediately, and my usual attention to such requests, you have 
probably looked for a reply from me at a much earlier date. Why 
1 allowed you to be disappointed, I will presently proceed to re- 
late ; for, though supported by an unshaken trust in my Heavenly 
Father's wisdom and love, though calm, if not hopeful, I was pass- 
ing one more painful ordeal. You will think my trials are never 
to end, dear Mary ; and I am almost ashamed to tax further your 
attention and your sympathies. You must remember it is my 
apology for not writing immediately upon the receipt of yours. 
The subject to which I allude is the revelation of C 's duplici- 
ty and unworthiness ! Yes, I must write it ; and I have learned 
that what Corinne says to Oswald is true, and not merely a senti- 
ment : " Dear as thou art," she says, M I could sooner resign thy 
affections than to know thee unworthy of mine." I was able, 
last year, to resist the tide of misanthropic thoughts, to turn from 
the dark view of human nature, to stifle bitter feelings against a 
world in which I had suffered so much. Yes, I was enabled to 
hope, to resolve, to do. But to learn that he whom I trusted in 
all his errors and strange conduct, as most assuredly truthful, con- 
scientious, and therefore suffering — that he should be otherwise, 
was too much ! I had always felt that, if he could be happy, I 
could bear my own sorrows with cheerfulness. I deemed that, in 
obedience to the voice of conscience, he had resigned a loved 
object. Of course, then, the thought of his apparent baseness and 
my desolation must wring his heart with continual agony — must 
forever darken his heaven with a frown. My letters to him had 
been devised with every possible consideration to remove this load 
from his conscience, and to inspire him with hope and courage for 
a future in which I should have no share. His replies were the 
intensives of agony, remorse, gloom, and despair ; and, with a 
heart heavier than stone, I wrote him a farewell, and then wrote 

to [a common friend in Louisville], begging him to make 

some effort for his friend. He replied, to my surprise, that, 

though , in writing to me, might feel gloomy, yet he was 

not the one to be ruined by any such despair ; and, in less than a 
month, he announced the fact, on the most reliable authority, that, 

in the past year, C had courted no less than half a dozen 

girls, and was now flirting with a Miss . [Here follow 

details entirely conclusive.] To be deceived in the moral qualities 
of a friend, and that friend one to whom you had given your 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 65 

deepest devotion — oh ! Mary, this is to veil the face of day in 
midnight darkness. It is almost in vain to theorize — to resolve 
that there is excellence on earth, and that I will believe in it. 
How shall I know that, if the temptation be encountered in suffi- 
cient strength, any human virtue would endure ? * * * 

To be solitary has been my singular trial, and it began in my 
childhood. Those N. M. children I never associated with much 
— they were so addicted to falsehood ; and, as I advanced into 
girlhood, I liked them still less. Then came the sunshine of my 
Deny life ; then the death of my parents, and loss of my home — 
and so on. I have about half a dozen friends scattered at the 
North, and, with a bleeding heart and fainting spirit and lagging 
energy, I have to begin life anew. Now, do not imagine that I 
am conquered. No, I do not yield. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

OCTOBER, 1849— AUGUST, 1850. 

Determination to be a Missionary — Interesting Statement of her Reasons— Selects 
China for her field of Labor — Becomes the Missionary of the Church of the Holy 
Trinity, Brooklyn, N. V., to the Protestant Episcopal Mission at Shanghai — Voyage 
— Religious Experience on the Voyage — Arrival at Shanghai. 

TO MRS. SUMNER. 

Brooklyn, N. V., Oct. 29, 1849. 

My dear Mrs. Sumner : With real pleasure I devote a few 
hours of this rainy Monday to the reply which your kind letter of 
July 23d demands. I had, indeed, despaired of being favored by 
you again. (I recollect, by the way, that you ever deemed me 
wanting in hopefulness.) I think the very last vestige of hope 
had vanished ; but very far was I from being " offended by your 
silence." I ought to be above the very common absurdity and 
ingratitude, which leads people to forget the nine hundred and 
ninety-nine favors received, while they think only of the one thou- 
sandth which they fail to enjoy. No, my dear Mrs. Sumner, I 
have too deep a sense of your constant and disinterested friend- 
ship for me while I was in Louisville, and of the kind interest 
you have since cherished for my welfare, to allow me for a mo- 
ment to claim one remembrance more. And I felt sure that, if 
other duties were not paramount, you would not only have thought 



66 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

of me, but have given me, by letter, the usual sign of remem- 
brance. 

As I had left King George County some days before your let- 
ter was mailed, it did not reach me till the first week in Septem- 
ber, which was some eight or ten days after my arrival in Brook- 
lyn. In leaving the South, I had cherished the hope of visiting 
once more the scene of my former labor in Jefferson County, Va. 
The cordial welcome I received from my old acquaintances there 
was very cheering, and the time I spent there passed most rapidly 
and pleasantly. My former pastor was anxious for my return, 
and another gentleman made me quite a tempting offer (don't be 
alarmed — not of marriage), which, all things considered, I thought 
more desirable than any previous one at the South. Mr. Jones, 
the pastor in whose parish I had resided, seemed very solicitous 
for me to return, and offered me his aid, counsel, books, and so 
much of his society as I wished and he could spare ; and these 
were important items in my sum of enjoyments. But I could not 
see it best to live longer at the South. 

I found my brother in Northfield, Mass., a town, as you may 
be aware, situated on the blue Connecticut, touching the Vermont 
and New Hampshire boundaries. The scenery of that region, I 
need not say to you, is magnificent ; and the environs of North- 
field, in their natural features, reminded me of Cincinnati. The 
air is, of course, pure and invigorating, and we hope our drooping 
Kate may be greatly benefited by the refreshing influences of her 
new home. Her health is, indeed, a more serious cause of anx- 
iety than ever, and my brother seemed to watch over her as 
though he felt he might not keep her long on earth. To me there 
are manifestations of a deepened piety, a purity and serenity in 
her character, that remind me she is indeed ripening for a better 
world, and may be called very soon. She seems every hour to 
enjoy the natural beauties that surround her. * * * 

When you write (you see I have " hope " now), tell me how 
Mr. Heywood and his coadjutors of the Examiner bore the severe 
disappointment of their total defeat as to emancipation in Ken- 
tucky. I will not, however, say " total defeat," for no true work 
is lost. You remember, doubtless, that old " orthodox " line : 

" Though seed lie buried long in dust." 

Were I conversant with Emerson, or a quoter of poetry or Car- 
lyle, I could give you a more elegant saying ; but there is none 
more consoling than " Cast thy bread upon the waters." 

My long visit in Jefferson County, and my prolonged deten- 
tion here, made me determine to relinquish all further visiting, 
except to my brother, and to one other, the loved pastor of my 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAE. 67 

early teens, who did more in two years to shape my character and 
views religiously, than all others can ever do or undo. It was 
thirteen years since I had listened to his impressive words in the 
house of God. Then, he was to me the impersonation of all that 
was excellent and desirable. In seeking to hear him again, I was 
not quite sure the charm would not be in a measure dispelled. So 
far from it, inasmuch as I was the more able to discriminate, I saw 
the more to demand my admiration in his high views of duty and 
his perfect devotion to it, and in all those graces that conclusively 
prove that the possessor of them does indeed walk with God. I 
spent several days m his family, deriving from his conversation, 
and the influences around me, a salutary tonic for subsequent 
duties. 

I have returned to my cousin, "William Cutter's, in Brooklyn, 
to spend the winter, and teach his children. I do not know what 
my facilities will be for making acquaintances this winter. Per- 
haps cousin William will be much absent. His wife is not in 
very good health, and is burdened with many cares. We live 
two miles or more out of the city, and near us desirable acquaint- 
ances are not very numerous. The house and situation, however, 
are delightful. * * * 

You allude very kindly to the sainted pastor of my happy 
days in Louisville. The "memorial " which you mention is prob- 
ably the sermon by the bishop, the notice by Mr. Craik, the 
" resolutions." Now they are gone, I hope I shall more thor- 
oughly appreciate and more earnestly strive to acquire their Chris- 
tian graces. How sweetly Mrs. G. would say : " It is all for the 
best." I used to look at her in wonder, then ; yet I trust I have 
since learned something of the sweetness of a submissive temper. 

It only remains to answer your inquiry: "How are you 
now ? " I could say much in answer to that simple question ; but 
perhaps one sentence contains it all. Through the grace of God, 
I may say emphatically, as never before in my life I could say, 
that I am in " perfect peace." You refer to my " self-sustained, 
trusting epistle of November, 1848." Perhaps there was too 
truly, and not in the best sense, a self-reliance. I thought I had 
conquered ; but when, in February, I learned that he, who had 
been my ideal of what was true and pure and noble, had become 
not only weak, but false ; that, while I, in solitude, had wrestled 
with sorrow, and spoke to him in cheerful hope, and he, in unusual 
despondency, had added mountains to my burden by expressions 
of hopeless gloom ; that, while he thus received my sympathy, 
he was really addressing and flirting with others — I tasted then 
the bitterest drop in the cup of grief. Then, indeed, I feared I 
should yield to a bitter spirit toward him — toward the world. If 



68 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

he were so utterly weak, whom could I trust ? Reason and reli- 
gion contended with feeling ; and in this, as well as in all other 
conquests, I may truly say : " Thanks be to God, who giveth me 
the victory, through our Lord Jesus Christ." The thought of His 
unspeakable love would always soften and purify my heart, and 
help me say steadfastly, that I would still love and labor for the 
good of humanity. The usefulness of my life would have been 
gone forever, had I yielded to that strong temptation to misan- 
thropic gloom. It passed ; but, in indifferent bodily condition, I 
felt that a change of scene would benefit me. I needed to break 
up the accustomed channels of thought, to escape from the scenes 
associated with hours of anguish. I find here (that is, at the 
North) much that I cannot find at the South, that gives me new 
food for thought ; that stimulates the benevolent affections, and 
thus occupies the heart and mind to the utmost. 

What other discipline than the one I have endured could have 
wrought in me the work I needed to sustain ? I trust I say it in 
all humility, that I have acquired in my own character, and in the 
new views of life, of duty, of God, what I would not be without 
for the throne of England. I do think I can say with the good 
old shepherd of Salisbury Plain : " What pleases God, pleases 
me." Perhaps, by some new test, I shall learn that my will is 
not yet thoroughly subject to the Divine will ; but this I am sure 
of — there is a calm now, deep, uniform, delightful. All my friends 
say they never knew me so cheerful. They never seemed to love 
me as they now do. Some of them wonder they " did not use to 
like me so " ! I smile and sigh at once, for I know too well why 
they did not. I was proud, harsh, impatient, impetuous, unchari- 
table, sarcastic. Of this last I think I am almost, if not quite 
cured ; and I think I am less entirely destitute of humility, pa- 
tience, gentleness. I say these things to you, as I used to confess 
to you in old times. As you know my faults, you will not think 
it improper in me to confess to you what I think I have profited 
by the school of the last year and a half. My brother says he 
never knew me in so good a frame, so stable and serene. He and 
Kate said much for my encouragement. I give you their testi- 
mony, that you may be sure I am not writing in any exalted mood 
merely, or deceiving myself with fine dreams. I think I can even 
now see that " the forces of my life are mightier for good " than 
ever. With all my restless and sincere desires to be useful, I was 
ever thwarted by a few traits in my character. Perhaps the beam 
is now removed from my eye. I see a work to do in my cousin's 
family ; I see a work in the streets and lanes of the city ; I see a 
work in my own heart ; I have enough to do. In God's dealings 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 69 

with me, in His providence, in His word, in His character as re- 
vealed there, I see enough to study, enough to rejoice in. 

I have written thus fully, my dear Mrs. Sumner, because you 
told me " to write you all about my feelings." I am sure I speak 
in no language of cant, when I say that I never had such affect- 
ing views of His gracious forbearance, notwithstanding all my 
unfaithfulness and provocations, as I had while His hand was 
heavy upon me, and since, when He has permitted me to hold 
sweet communion with Him in love and faith and prayer. Once 
I tried to bear up, alone, life's burden ; now it is so easy, so sweet 
to leave all to God. I feel secure — at rest — at home. And I am 
convinced that God has been preparing me for usefulness ; and 
He knows how earnestly I now desire to do and suffer all His 
holy will, and, by a life of humble obedience, to glorify Him, and 
recommend the religion of Christ. The world looks to me differ- 
ent from what it ever did before. Once my first thought was : 
" Oh ! Father, give me strength one hour for the burden of life." 
Existence was scarcely a blessing. Now, my first thought is a 
cheerful consciousness that I have a work to do. In a word, I am 
at peace ; I am happy in God, in a will somewhat in unison with 
His. Such joy no one can take away. And when I recall that 
state of unrest in which I used to live, as you are aware, can you 
wonder that I feel a delightful sense of relief? 

Writing once a year, I may be excused — may I not ? — for 
long letters. I hope you will not follow my egotistical example; 
and remember that your letters always refresh and strengthen the 
heart of your grateful and affectionate Caroline. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Brooklyn, N. Y., Oct. 29, 1849. 

* * * Mary, what should you say to my being (mind, 
for the present, strictly inter nos, or, as you are not versed in 
Latin — I forgot — I should say entre nous) a missionary to the 
heathen ? Don't exclaim. I am thinking seriously about it, and, 
if God opens the way, I am clear to go. Nor think it strange. 
If an earthly love can make one willingly leave a native land, 
how much more the love of our Redeemer ? Do you tell me 
there is work enough here ? Oh ! yes ; but others can fill my 
place here ; and who will go to the heathen ? Do not speak of 
this. I have spoken only to two persons, but it has been with me 
a subject of serious thought for months, and is becoming more 
and more desirable for me to anticipate. Day before yesterday I 
returned hither, and shall soon take measures to decide the matter. 
But, whether I go or not, this one thing, by the grace of God, is 



70 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

certain — that my life, henceforth, shall be one of self-denial, and 
filled with the spirit of the missionary. Long enough have I 
lived a cumberer of the ground. * * * 

Farewell. When we meet, let it be to recount and be grate- 
ful for the kind dealings of our Heavenly Father with us. I hope 
I have not written anything m a spirit of self-complacency and 
self-sufficiency, but rather in humility, and with an earnest desire 
that all, and especially my Mary, should find what treasures of 
strength and peace and joy are in God. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM O. TENNEY. 

Brooklyn, N. Y., Nov. 4, 1849. 

My dear Kate : I think you would like to hear from me by 
this time. Certainly I am anxious to hear from you. I can with 
difficulty believe that it is more than two weeks since I left you. 

I duly arrived at Pawtucket, and, I need not add, I was affec- 
tionately welcomed, and that I enjoyed every moment of my stay 
most fully. I am writing to you, Kate ; but I expect William to 
be especially interested about my visit to Mr. Blodgett.* Time 
had been busy in printing the lines on the brow and in bleaching 
the hair of both my friends. Mr. B. looked careworn. Well, I 
did enjoy Sunday. I could hardly realize that thirteen years had 
passed since I heard him, still so unchanged. I had feared that I 
might find the charm of my childhood dispelled, and he be to me 
only the ordinary man.- I thought it was possible that, as years 
had taught me to discriminate, I might discover deformity where 
I had dreamed of perfection. But no. Discrimination and judg- 
ment only showed me more to admire and love. When Mr. B. 
ministered in N. M M .how often, as I entered the church, have I 
felt the most vivid impression of God's presence in the sanctuary ! 
And when again I entered where he ministered, and some of the 
scenes of my youth passed through memory's chambers, need I 
tell you that emotions of unspeakable solemnity and gratitude pos- 
sessed me ? There he stood, who so often had pointed me to 
truth and duty ; who had impressed upon me the unspeakable re- 
sponsibilities of life ; there over again he stood, as of old, with 
the message of truth on his lips. As those silvery tones, so 
deeply reverent, were heard in supplication, so humble, so trust- 
ing, so earnest, so fitting, while my own spirit was in some accord, 
must there not have been in my soul one dominant note — that of 

[* I well know that the taste may be questioned which inserts in this 
memoir this long and warm tribute to a living man, whose own modesty 
also would prefer that it had lain in manuscript. But when I recall his influ- 
ence for life on my sister's character, I cannot for an instant hesitate.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAE. 71 

praise and thanksgiving ? Yet, in the bitter consciousness of my 
wasted years, there was heard throughout the saddened under- 
tone. And then the sermons, and the remarks in the vestry room 
Sunday and Wednesday evenings (for I did not leave till Thurs- 
day), how I can remember them yet ! Just as of old, a few 
points dwelt upon with great directness, so that it would be diffi- 
cult not to take home a portion. And then, his views of truth 
are, as of old, ever new in interest. "Christ and Him crucified ° 
runs through all, just as it did through Paul's preaching, but ever 
in the most interesting connection with duty. Besides this, an 
earnestness, an absorption of soul exceeding that of any minister 
I have ever been acquainted with. I cannot describe it. And 
then, what humility ! — But I must stop. Every hour I spent in 
Mr. B.'s society was as good as a sermon; and I hope -to be a 
great deal better for the visit all my life. I could not but be im- 
pressed with so high and holy an example. I could not but feel 
that, had I continued to enjoy his pastorship, I should have been 
saved much that I have endured, and have been so much more 
efficient as a Christian. My views of duty would have been 
higher, my zeal stimulated and guided by his wisdom, and I should 
not have been, as now, mourning the utter waste of years of pre- 
cious, irrecoverable opportunities. From his life I get a practical 
idea of what true life is. I see in him true self-denial. I see in 
him the life of faith. As in 1844, so in 1849, I came away much 
happier, and, I could not but hope and trust, some better than J 
went. 

I met with a lady in Pawtucket who gave me a letter of in- 
troduction to Rev. Dr. Lewis, of this city, rector of the Church 
of the Holy Trinity, which I shall avail myself of when I get a 
letter from the rector of St. Paul's, Louisville, which I hope will 
be this week. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Brooklyn, N. Y., Dec. 13, 1849. 

Dear Brother : I am not surprised that you do not think my 
" temperament " fitted for the work a missionary must perform. 
And were I not very sure of a great change within me from what 
I once was, I should fully agree with you. Not that I am, at 
present, what I could wish, or what may be needed or desirable 
to the full extent (and the same might be affirmed of any one 
who proposes to take up the missionary work), but the peculiar 
training to which Providence has subjected me, as well as some 
natural characteristics of mine, do, I firmly believe, direct me to 
the missionary work. And I say this after long, repeated, and 
careful consideration. I wish I could give you, briefly and intelli- 



72 MEMOIR OF MBS. KEITH. 

gently, a sketch of my inner life, beginning in my earliest teens. 
In common, probably, with many young people, I had large am- 
bition and unsatisfied desires ; but it was not for wealth, or splen- 
dor, or ease. These things, no doubt, I valued, for I was proud ; 
and yet it was not, it never has been these things per se I es- 
teemed, but the estimation, influence they would give me. But 
more than these — unspeakably more — did I desire to do some 
great and good acts (of course, I use the word great relatively). 
You will bear me witness, that I thought less than ordinary of 
what I might M seem ; " and, further, you will testify that, in spite 
of natural obstacles, I have endeavored " to be " what, in the far- 
off ideal, I admired. You know, too, better than any one else 
can know, how little the early circumstances of my life tended to 
give or aid these tastes and desires. You know the manner of 
my education, and that, before the age of nineteen, I had no hab- 
its of application. In the mean time, my parents died, and I be- 
gan to make acquaintance with the world, and to learn the bitter- 
ness of disappointments. I was affectionate, yet I found nothing 
to satisfy my affections. Thrown constantly among strangers and 
strange scenes, without engrossing occupation, I was constantly 
dwelling in thought upon the few who loved me — upon my own 
faults, and the unattainable objects of my desires and dreams. 
One great sorrow of my life was, that none loved me so entirely 
as I had loved. I had a vague, but not a clear idea (as now) 
why it was that I failed to win the warm love of the few I valued 
most. Hours and hours have I wept in the anguish of an unsatis- 
fied and yearning heart ; with a loneliness of spirit too deep for 
description, or for alleviation in the diversions of society. But 
there was another grief deeper than this. It resulted from a feel- 
ing of discouragement. My earliest and strongest ambition, I 
may truly say, was, not to live in vain. I wished to exert an in- 
fluence for good. I was inexpressibly anxious to see that I did 
some good. Years were passing on, and I could not see this ; 
nay, worse, I seemed in my own character to be stationary, if not 
retrograde. I seemed to be no nearer the excellence I aspired to, 
and I despaired of myself — which was far more painful than to 
despair of others, or to give up the hope of elevating or blessing 
those around me. Yet I could not cease to struggle onward and 
upward. The world saw my faults and failures, and probably 
mocked at my baffled purposes, my lofty aims ; but God saw and 
pitied. Nevertheless, He saw fit to let me go on in darkness and 
weakness, that thus I might be surely taught, in His good time, 
from whom cometh my help, and in whom is my refuge. He 
alone knows how I mourned that I seemed to live in vain — how I 
sought help that I might be a blessing to the world. He knows 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 73 

my tears, my anguish, and He has made me to hope, and to be in 
peace. I need not dwell upon my doubts and questionings on 
religious subjects. You know too well the misery of a dark, un- 
settled mind. Here again I see the kind hand of my Heavenly 
Friend, for I was unavoidably thrown under influences which 
soothed and enlightened me ; and if I came very slowly to a set- 
tled conviction, I may add that, on what are called essential ques- 
tions, it is a conviction as firm as my belief that the Bible con- 
tains the revelation of God's will. Thus, up to the time of my 
departure for Louisville, I had constantly, and from my early girl- 
hood, and more or less deeply, suffered from three or four causes ; 
namely, the desire (unsatisfied) of being encircled by warmly 
affectionate friends ; the desire (unsatisfied) to do real and exten- 
sive good — a good, at least, that would require great energy, if 
not great power ; a desire (unsatisfied) to attain the standard of 
excellence necessary to accomplish this good ; and, with all this, 
painful doubts on religious questions. All my trials, sorrows, 
losses, the pains of loneliness and separation from family joys, 
sink into insignificance when compared with the constant and 
heavy burden I endured from the causes above described. I went 
to the West, and another world opened before me ; and, notwith- 
standing the suffering my life there subsequently and indirectly 
introduced, I would rather forget all else in my career than ray 
sojourn in Louisville. I was loved — loved deeply, loved by 
many ; and oh ! how my heart rejoiced in the consciousness of its 
power to win love ! Not only was I loved, but I saw how to be 
useful, and gladly did I make the attempt. Not only this, but my 
religious doubts all cleared away ; and, under the sweet influences 
of hope and love and congenial effort, my character seemed to 
have advanced, and for a while I lived in what (compared with 
the past) was perfect sunshine. My dream was sufficiently real- 
ized, and the future was bright with promise. I said, " I never 
cared to be happier in this world." I forgot the Giver of my 
blessings. I acted as if it were by my own might and power that 
I had attained the things in which I delighted. I forgot my great 
responsibilities, and God left me to go alone through thick darkness 
and sorrow. He designed thus to reveal to me my own poverty, 
selfishness, weakness, my errors, my sins, my pride, my folly, my 
utter worthlessness. How my lost happiness, my neglected op- 
portunities for usefulness stared me in the face ! How the mem- 
ory of my unfaithfulness preyed upon my soul ! I am not writing 
figuratively, but I speak soberly ; and I tell you that, had not 
hope of pardon remained, the accusations of conscience, aided by 
a supernaturally active memory (it seems to me), would have 
driven me crazy. For all this world offers, I would not endure 
4 



74: MEMOIB OF MRS. KEITH. 

again the horrors of remorse. How sweet would have been for- 
getfulness ! And there was one whom, with all his faults, I loved. 
To him I gave the hours of thought and affection which were due 
alone to God. And that God had thoughts of kindness toward 
me, and designs of mercy and love. He took away that which I 
had made an idol, yet He did not leave me to faint and die. Oh ! 
my brother, most sincerely, most deeply do I feel that the loving 
kindness of my Heavenly Father has to me been wonderful ! 
When, with all my strength, I submitted myself to what He had 
permitted, He refreshed me by His presence. When with the 
fullest purpose of heart I gave myself to Him, He blessed me 
with peace, deep and abiding — a confidence sure and full of com- 
fort. That peace and confidence may have been sometimes 
ruffled, but never long or deeply disturbed. There, in the long 
solitude of my last twelve months in Virginia, with a calm view I 
looked over the past and realized my present. I searched my 
own heart, and tried to weigh my motives of action. I endeav- 
ored faithfully to ascertain the weak and the strong points of my 
character, in order that I might use my energies to the best ad- 
vantage in a sphere of future action. The question of my soul 
was : " Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do ? " You know the 
circumstances which hastened my arrival in New York ; that I 
was not greatly moved, and how my presence seemed to have 
been blessed to those around me. More perfectly than ever be- 
fore I consecrated myself to God, and more than ever He blessed 
me. There is a little chamber in this house which has been to my 
soul as one of the " sacred mountains." There have I sought 
strength for the present hour ; there, if ever, have I wrestled in 
prevailing prayer. There I have resigned every wish that was 
dear to me, so far as it was not in unison with the will of God 
concerning me, as revealed in His word and providence. There 
have I asked earnestly for direction, and that I might be wholly 
the Lord's. I may have been too enthusiastic in the past, but 
never have I been a fanatic on religious subjects. Once I could 
scarcely have replied to the sceptic from personal experience. 
Though religious subjects were ever most interesting to me, yet I 
often thought it possible that all my religion was a matter of edu- 
cation and habit. The holy peace, the joyous hope, the patient 
endurance, the deep sense of sin, the sense of God ever present, 
the humble yet firm confidence, the sweet submission, the entire 
devotedness, the ardent aspirations for holiness, the adoring views 
of God's character and government, the conscious and living union 
with Christ — these, as they were developed in the Christian expe- 
rience of Bible saints and of eminent Christians, I did not pos- 
sess. And far be it from me to boast that they are mine now ; 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 75 

but this I can say with humble gratitude to God, that I have 
learned something of these things ; that I have had visions of 
spiritual things which I shall never forget. Surely I have known 
the peace which is as a river, so that, with the apostle, I could 
say, a To live is Christ, and to die is gain." This world, though 
infinitely important as a sphere of duty, seemed little in its trials, 
compared with the glory to be revealed. Time seemed so short 
to suffer and to do the will of God ! Eternity seemed unspeak- 
ably yet delightfully near. Much of this sweet experience has 
been since my return here ; that is, my faith is firmer, my views 
clearer, my soul more serene. I have known in Virginia, in my 
deep sorrows, hours and days of deep peace ; but nothing like 
that firm, elevated trust, that unutterable joy in God, which I 
have known since I left you. Why is it ? It is not the influence 
of my present home ; it is not from eloquent preaching (for I 
have not heard three fine sermons, and have often been obliged to 
stay at home) ; it is not my companions, for I have none ; it is 
not my books, for I have little time to read. What is it ? A 
fever of the imagination ? There has been nothing, there is noth- 
ing now, to excite particularly the imagination. But I do believe 
God is leading me by His Spirit ; that He is answering my 
prayers, and will make me fully His own. When the great sor- 
row of my life came upon me, it was my impression that God was 
preparing me for His service : how or where, I saw not ; but it 
was my consolation to feel that He would carry on His work in 
me, and bring me nearer to Himself. As I believe I mentioned 
to you, Mr. Jones once asked me (1845, in leaving Virginia) how 
I would like to be a missionary — saying that China offered an 
open door, and that woman had an important sphere. He said I 
had two elements of missionary character : namely, a desire to be 
useful, and an energetic temperament. I knew very well that in 
many other equally important characteristics I was entirely defi- 
cient. I told him so. He added : " Should you ever decide to 
become a missionary, let me know." It was said half in jest, 
half in earnest. The missionary work ever interested me, and I 
have often thought that, were I a man and fitted for it, I would 
be a missionary, or that I would like to be a missionary's wife. 
Since China and Africa have been open to efforts such as women 
can bestow with advantage, I have often thought about a personal 
engagement in the_ service. But I knew my natural character 
and its defects, and I desired not to run before I was sent. I wish 
I could convey to your mind how deeply and firmly, though slowly 
and almost imperceptibly, the conviction has been settling upon 
me that God was training me, and would call me to a life of self- 
denial and arduous labor. I have sometimes longed, almost pined 



76 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

for a home with you ; but the feeling would instantly arise : " No, 
that would be a life of too much ease and pleasure. There would 
be no discipline ; self-denial is rather for me." I assure you it is 
no recent feeling, no dream of fancy (for I even expressed the 

thought to Mr. ) ; but it seems to me that I ought to be 

engaged in something that would tax every energy of my being, 
mind, body, heart, and soul. I might live comfortably, happily, 
with you, and not be thus engaged. Well, the temptation to Vir- 
ginia was strong, for my friends are numerous and cordial, my 
duties pleasant, and society good (in Dr. A.'s family) ; but I could 
not feel that there all my powers would be taxed. Brooklyn 
affords a good field ; but this is one of the pleasant corners of the 
earth. Here, again, the conviction meets me : " It is for you to 
take a less inviting field." More than a year since, I noticed in 
the Superintendent of Missions a call for two female teachers, as 
well as many other laborers, in Shanghai, China. Two female 
teachers ? Who are to go ? I have watched and waited for that 
call to be answered, but none appear ! Each one replies : " I 
pray thee have me excused." For more than one year the sub- 
ject has been in my mind, and I have not made haste. I have 
prayed for direction ; I have weighed the matter as well as I 
could, and have sought advice from those who are or ought to be 
informed on the subject. I have watched the missionary intelli- 
gence, and considered my own circumstances and duties. The 
version of the New Testament in Chinese is complete. Every 
board of missions calls for more laborers. The American Episco- 
pal, especially, has more money than men and women to go ! ! 
The bishop begs for help. One of the brightest — Mr. Spaulding 
— has fallen a martyr to his zeal. His life hangs on a thread. 
He learned the language in one year so as to preach, and 
preached three or four times a week for six months. It was too 
much. One other minister — Mr. Syle — and the bishop (in indif- 
ferent health), both married, remain to labor. Two females be- 
long to the mission, and two more are wanted. And men are 
wanted. Oh, if I were a man ! I do not suppose I should do 
great things, but I would preach the unsearchable riches of Christ. 
— Let me consider your objections in order. You say, " I could 
be very useful here, and not much if any more useful than some 
others who would be willing to go." In the first place, there are 
few willing to go at all; and the secretary told me he had refused 
one or two whom he thought impelled by feeling or imagination. 
In the second place, any one who would not be very useful here, 
would be unfit to be a missionary ; for the earnest missionary 
spirit would do good in any place. In the third place, China is a 
field, both from the character and language of the people, that 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 77 

requires the greatest energy and talent that can be brought in. I 
have been thought to nave more of each than the average. If I 
had a thousandfold more, it would all be taxed in China. Again, 
you say " my temperament is unfitted." In reply, I would sug- 
gest that not one in a thousand who become missionaries, or who 
become ministers, or who become teachers even, are fitted in all 
things as they could desire. There are those who have the natu- 
ral powers, and perhaps the willing mind, but whose duty to 
friends, or some home field, most plainly forbids them to go ; or 
the willing mind may be wanting, or not the "mind," but the 
qualifications otherwise. It is not a little work, that of being a 
missionary to China ; and I am aware, I think, of my weak 
points ; but when will the world be evangelized, if it must wait 
till those who are perfectly fitted by nature and grace, and allowed 
by circumstance and impelled by duty, are ready to go ? Again, 
you think "that imagination colors and exaggerates." You allow 
too much to my imagination, but too little to my reason. The 
Chinese are jealous, unimpressible, cold-hearted, stereotyped. I 
expect to labor in patience, and often in tears ; to labor long, and, 
perhaps, see but little result. But, when my duty is done, I think I 
can leave the event with God. I do not expect great or speedy 
results from my efforts. I have no " exhilarating ideal," though I 
suppose it is not possible fully to realize the trials of a missionary 
before entering upon the duty of one ; but there is a promise : 
M My grace is sufficient for thee." The climate of Shanghai is / 

like that of the Southern States. I saw a missionary from Cape 
Palmas, Africa, who insists that the climate there is not so bad as 
people think, but that missionaries are always overworked. Africa 
surely claims from Christendom the largest benevolence. I should 
have thought that you would have preferred my going there ! I 
would not have been very reluctant to go. The trials there are 
of a different character ; but I do not think them greater than in 
China. And then, the missionaries in Africa return oftener. It 
is resolved by the American Board of Commissioners for Foreign 
Missions to bring back their missionaries from Africa once in three 
years. The lady whom I saw — Mrs. Herring — was impatient to 
get back to her station. — But I am away from my immediate sub- 
ject. At Shanghai, there are missionaries of the Baptist, of the 
English Church, and, perhaps (I am not sure), of the American 
Foreign Mission. There are English and American residents. 
Bishop Boone (a Southerner) is a very agreeable man. His wife 
is sister of the admirable Bishop Elliott, of Georgia. Mr. Syle is 
a native of England ; his wife is a Virginian. One of the female 
teachers is from Georgia. I don't know where the other is from. 
I hope the one who is appointed to go out with me has good sense 



78 MEMOIR OF MES. KEITH. 

as well as piety. You know I have naturally an extreme fastidi- 
ousness, which I have found it ever difficult to overcome, but 
which it would be very unfortunate now if I did not entirely 
throw aside. The missionaries are now sent out with every com- 
fort, and have every possible comfort in China. It required much 
more faith, fortitude, and courage, forty years ago, when commu- 
nication was unfrequent, and deprivation of various kinds was 
greater. — These are some of the considerations in reference to 
China and the work. Now, as to the reasons why I should un- 
dertake the work, I have partly unfolded them already. Fur- 
ther, I have no ties to any place or places, to any particular and 
endeared circle. Nowhere do I have a real home feeling. 
Always I am a pilgrim and a stranger. Many have left father, 
mother, and brilliant prospects, and many to weep for them. 
None will miss me, or pine for my absence. I have become 
inured to separation from what I would naturally find delight in, 
so that I have fewer new habits to form. Then, I have become 
weaned from the world most emphatically. Once, when I heard 
of friends who enjoyed the love of parents or husband, who were 
surrounded by luxuries and agreeable society, I felt discontented, 
and thought my lot a hard one. Now I can truly say, as I have 
heard such things, I have felt an emotion of gratitude and pleas- 
ure even, that God had spared me the dangers and responsibilities 
of such a position. I no longer hunger and thirst for what I 
once thought necessary to my happiness. I am content even to 
be without intellectual society (so they are not the haughty and 
narrow-minded Southerners). I would not now desire ease and 
wealth for myself (except as wealth is a gift for usefulness). I 
cannot express to you how deeply I feel that life is to be filled 
with labor, and that labor seems not now a burden, a painful ne- 
cessity. Common topics, common society interest me less than 
ever. Merely intellectual subjects are now of far secondary and 
inferior interest. These attractions, then, I have not to break 
away from. Christian privileges, to some extent, must always be 
given up. Aside from these, I have much less than most to 
resign. For your sake, for Kate's, for Bel's, I should desire to 
remain in America, at the North ; but here, again, are neutralizing 
considerations. Were your views and my own similar, I should 
rejoice to be ever at your right hand ; but more and more deeply 
and painfully do I feel the want of unison in our religious tastes 
and views. Slowly, but firmly and most delightfully, have I be- 
come settled in what you think the " narrow doctrines." Some 
of them are fearful ; but I see none others consistent with the 
book of revelation, and of man's nature and propensities. I 
should then spend most of my time away from you. The thought 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 79 

which preys upon Kate's mind is distressing to me. I cannot 
dwell upon it, though I have many answers to it. One only will 
I make. Suppose I had given my affections to any human being, 
and that my happiness in the most intimate relation required me 
to go far away : you would not have detained me by the motive 
that Bel might require my care ? I may add, there are many of 
milder manners, though of less enlarged and intelligent views, 
who may do much better than I could. But God is always kind 
when we trust Him. Is it not wrong thus to darken the -future 
with fears ? If I go at all, why should I wait ? The millions of 
China wait for the few messengers whom Christendom ekes out to 
them. It is high time that I began the difficult language. It 
is not probable that a proper escort can be found before early 
spring. 

I believe I have not told you particularly how I have been led 
along in this matter. After all my meditations in King George 
County, it was my fixed purpose to talk with Mr. Jones, when I vis- 
ited the upper country. This my unexpectedly sudden departure 
prevented. More and more I thought of it during my tarry here, and 
spoke of it to Frances only. I went to Northfield. Other plans 
entered into my mind, but China had a place, and it was then my 
determination, as soon as I should find a pastor, to confer with 
him about missionary work. By a great effort, I revealed my 
thoughts to Mr. Blodgett. Free and judicious were his words, 
serving to condense my thoughts, deepen my self-examination, 
and elevate my aims. The day of my arrival in Brooklyn, I sent 
to my friend Mr. Talbot, to get for me my letter dimissory from 
Mr. Hookers, the rector of St. Paul's [in Louisville]. For rea- 
sons unimportant to mention here, that letter was long delayed ; 
and, feeling the want of my own church and pastor, and stimu- 
lated by new intelligence from China, I sought the acquaintance 
of Dr. Lewis, of the Church of the Holy Trinity. At Mr. 
Blodgett's I had met a lady who offered to give me an introduc- 
tion to her former pastor in Brooklyn, which I might use or not, 
as I thought proper. Well, November 15th, that great day of 
military parade, I went to Dr. Lewis with the letter, and then 
made allusion to China, and to my own thoughts as to personal 
engagement in duty there. A smile of pleased surprise spread 
over his countenance as he told me that he had, a few days before, 
received a letter from Mr. Spaulding, one of the missionaries 
there, who again pleaded for reenforcement ; that he (Dr. Lewis) 
had that week been writing a sermon on missionaries, and the 
ensuing Sunday the collection would be for China ; that he had 
left his study to see me when engaged in writing to Mr. Spauld- 
ing I — that my coming seemed providential. He then procured 



80 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

for me an interview with the Secretary for Foreign Missions. 
Mr. Jones, to whom I wrote for reference, replied in the most 
decided manner as to my peculiar fitness for the work, and Mr. 
Blodgett also. The latter writes most affectionately, beginning, 
11 Dear child." When I wrote him of your reluctance, he replied : 
"Ask William to attempt to estimate the moral grandeur of the 
enterprise of giving the light of life to the Chinese, and he may, 
in the attempt, be better able to estimate the privilege of giving 
an 'only sister'* to that enterprise." Two weeks since, Dr. 
Lewis came up for the second time to see me, and invited me to 
come to his house, and to spend the night when I wished to attend 
night service, and could not else attend, and to come that night to 
the missionary meeting. I could not go ; but promised to go the 
next night, to meet the ladies of the benevolent society, whom he 
wished to know me and to become interested in me, that they 
might become more interested in the mission, and do something 
for my comfort when I should go. I attended — had a pleasant 
time — was for once the observed of all observers, as one who was 
going to China ! I gathered, from the communicativeness of the 
ladies, that my providential coming, and so forth, as related at the 
missionary meeting by Dr. Lewis, had served to interest them 
much. I had a pleasant time. 

Saturday. — I spent yesterday with them ; heard Dr. Tyng on 
Sunday schools. By the way, the Church of the Holy Trinity is 
considered the handsomest in the United States. The rector is as 
humble and meek as Mr. Gallagher was. — So here I am at my 
utmost limit. Write soon. I have reasoned, and have not 
allowed any burst of feeling. You can imagine those which 
should kindle in a missionary's breast. Again, with love — ever 
so much love ! — to Kate and Bel. I really have no time now to 
write to Bel, though I would love to do so. Ever yours, 

Caroline. 

to miss plumer. 

Brooklyn, N. Y., Jan. 1, 1850. 

With what earnestness and sincerity, my ever dear Mary, do 
I this morning write the oft-repeated salutation, " I wish you a 

[* My own recollection is most distinct and positive, that I never wrote a 
line or breathed a word of discouragement based on giving up an " only sis- 
ter ; " and I instantly wrote her, on receiving the above, requesting her to 
disabuse Mr. B. of his impression. I was entirely willing she should be a 
missionary, if so she could find satisfaction and peace. Not knowing the time 
and thought she had given the subject before deciding, I had written to her as 
referred to above, in order that she might never regret or retrace so important 
a step once taken. — W. C. T.] 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 81 

happy New Year ! " All of earthly enjoyment that our kind and 
wise Father sees to be consistent with your best progress and 
highest welfare, do I desire for you ; but, above all, as the richest 
blessing and highest happiness, that you may live more and more 
in communion with the Father of your spirit, and walk in the 
light of His countenance. I have come to feel that, if my friends 
have " chosen the good part," and have learned to " live in faith," 
they are all and have all that the fondest love could desire for 
them. * * * 

I smiled when you said I was just the stuff that " saints " (of 
course, Romish saints) were made of; and yet I felt that you but 
read me aright. I have often thought that, had I been a Roman- 
ist before I was fourteen years old — had I been unrestrained — I 
should have undertaken any pilgrimage or penance I could have 
endured, if I had had faith that it would have atoned for sin or 
procured my salvation. And again, I have felt that, at later 
periods, I should have entered a convent, and made myself famous 
for " meritorious " (!) deeds in the " popish " sense. But not less 
entire, not less intense, I trust, will be my consecration and energy 
and usefulness now. God has permitted me to have many con- 
flicts, that I might have rich experience of His goodness. Do 
not suppose I have " ecstasies," but a calm, deep, sweet peace. 
But too much of self. 



TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

New York City, March 16, 1850. 

Dear Kate : I have a very few moments, of which I must 
make the most in a short letter to you. * * * 

How great was the struggle to leave you, sick and suffering, 
God alone knows. Were it not for your health — rather un- 
health — I should leave in perfect happiness. But our God is 
above us both, and has ordered all things for the best. I am of 
" good cheer " and of good courage ; and I am more and more 
confident that I am called by providential events to a work for 
which I have been peculiarly fitted. I find that, by the kindness 
of individuals, my outfit of one hundred and twenty -five dollars 
has been doubled, and, besides all that, comforts amply provided. 
The ladies of Dr. Tyng's have given, in money, sixty-two dollars, 
besides abundance of presents. The gentlemen gave me thirty 
dollars' worth of books, and other individuals add one by one. 
Dr. Lewis's society are wide awake. I met a large company of 
them night before last. They pledge themselves for my support ; 
and a committee of three ladies is appointed to correspond with 
4* 



82 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

me. Believe me that I am happy. Pray that I may be useful, 
and thank God for calling me to His service. 

I sail to-day, at twelve o'clock. And now, dearest Kate, again 
I commend you to our Father. His love can never fail. And be- 
lieve me to be, ever, most affectionately, your sister, * 

Caroline. 

to her brother. 

Ship Tartar, Atlantic Ocean, March 25, 1850. 

* * * Thursday morning, in leaving the Mission Rooms, 
Dr. Lewis met me, having just returned from a fruitless call at 
my friends' in Sixth street. He informed me that the lecture 
room was crowded the evening before, on account of the question 
of my support ; that the support, with various other plans of be- 
nevolence, had been unanimously undertaken, and that a meeting 
was appointed for that evening, at his house, for the purpose of a 
further acquaintance with me. I went — had a pleasant evening. 
To all appearance, there was a good deal of interest. Everybody 
was introduced to me, and I was obliged' to talk about China till I 
was very tired. Shall I not thank God and take courage for the 
hopefulness of this beginning ? * * * 

There are, in all, nine passengers, five of us missionaries — 
Dutch Reformed, Presbyterian, Baptist (South), Methodist, and 
Episcopalian. Religious services were held on board the ship. 
Address by Dr. De Witt ; prayer by Mr. Taylor (Baptist), from 
Richmond ; benediction by a Methodist ; and the doxology, 
" From all that dwell below the skies." Never before were these 
two verses so full of meaning, or the promise of the last verse so 
full of comfort. Dr. De Witt's address was most admirable ; and, 
in alluding to the other missionaries going out, of so many de- 
nominations, he made beautiful allusion to such " evangelical alli- 
ance." Indeed, the moment I heard of the number and various 
denominations of our company, it was to me a bright omen. My 
room-mate is a Methodist. * * * 

There is only one thought that clouds for a moment my seren- 
ity. It is the oft-recurring question, " How is my dear Kate at 
this moment ? " Oh ! I did not dare utter one word of all I felt 
in parting from her, such was her delicate state ; nor will I do it 
now, in view of the long interval ere this can reach you, and of 
the changes that may take place ere then. One thing I have long 
noticed — how her sweet spirit was ripening for heaven. For her, 
for you and for myself, and for that dear, dear little Isabel Caro- 
line, I know that all things are well and wisely ordered. In this 
confidence I rest ; and I thank God, who, by means of grief, has 
taught me to cast all my care upon Him. 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 83 

April 23, Lat. 17° S., Long. 25* W. 

* * * If I could describe the sunsets of the equatorial 
regions, so that you could imagine their glory, it would be worth 
many efforts. But the richest tints, from the peculiar purple pink 
to golden brown, the form and position of the clouds, the strangely 
beautiful kindling of the clouds that kiss the moon, the trembling 
waves, sometimes throwing back the light of that moon in crim- 
son, not in silver coloring — all this cannot be painted with black 
ink by such an one as I. The heavens are certainly more beauti- 
ful than they appear from the land ; and it is a source of cease- 
less pleasure to watch the ever-changing aspect of ocean. Thus 
far I have not suffered from the monotony of a sea voyage, and I 
look forward with increasing interest to the work in China. I am 
humbly but surely confident that the love of my ever-present Sa- 
vior will sustain me there. My thoughts, you will not doubt, my 
dear brother, often and often turn to you and that dear, patient 
sufferer, and to the little one. I dared utter scarcely an affection- 
ate word to you or to her while I was with you last, lest I should 
lose command of myself. Yet I think you could guess my heart ; 
and you will not need that I should say how fondly, how closely 
that heart's tenderest fibres would clasp around Isabel. Kiss her, 
and give her Aunty's love, and teach her intelligently to pray for 
me. You will notice, by the date of this, the anniversary of our 
dear mother's death. I have wept to-day much in thinking of 
her, of my father, and of the three distant ones I love best. Yet 
I find the consolations of God neither few nor small. May they 
be yours abundantly in all trials ! 

May \Zth. — You will observe, by the date, that it is my birth- 
day. Twenty-nine years since, our parents welcomed a daughter. 
Their life was one of conflict with the world, of trial and sorrow 
and disappointment. How anxiously they sought to screen us 
from trouble ! " Oh, blindness to the future wisely given ! I 
mourn not so much for disappointment, as that so many years of 
my life have been wasted — years of intelligent conviction, of 
good intentions, of much energy, but of poor results. I am often 
moved to tears, when I think how God has borne with me, has 
waited for me, and has even given me joy and peace. I hope 
for many years in which to redeem the past and labor for 
Him. * * * 

The sailors are very civil and well behaved, and a remarkably 
good crew. The captain (Webber) is a pious man, and one of 
the kindest in the world, and studies our comfort in every possible 
way. But I have never been thrown so directly, and for so long 
a time, into company with those who hate religion and those who 
profess it. Though the wishes of the captain restrain every one 



84 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

(for all have a respect for him), yet I see the evil, rebellious, un- 
grateful temper of man. Never before have I read such lessons 
in the human heart. The Bible and my own consciousness com- 
pelled me to acknowledge the doctrine of utter depravity. What 
I have read and observed, corroborated my opiuion ; but the sight 
of my eyes, in circumstances from which I cannot for the present 
escape — this impresses me with the deepest sense of man's awful 
sinfulness, and of God's wonderful mercy. God's commands are 
so good, his claims so just, and man rebels as though no being 
had a right to control him. Never before have I felt so deeply 
my obligations of gratitude and obedience to God as now. " Who 
maketh me to differ ? " * * * 

May 22d. — * * * We have a treasure in our captain ; 
but we are all looking toward China. Yet I am not so impatient 
as in the early part of the voyage, because I have become accus- 
tomed to sea life. Every day, it seems to me, gives me deeper 
convictions of the opposition of the heart to God, and to His most 
reasonable commands. I had heard, but I could not realize the 
wickedness of ship's people. And now, of course, I do not see or 
hear the half; besides, the wishes of the good captain restrain 
them ; and it is true that our ship's crew are uncommonly good. 
Ah, my brother, you say I did not get the " scholastic system of 
theology " from the Bible ; but I know that, from those days of 
anguish in Virginia, in 1844, to this time, I have never read any 
book with special reference to what are called, by some, " the 
peculiar doctrines ; " and slowly and by degrees did I adopt them, 
as, by the grace of God, I was experimentally taught them. And 
nothing is more clear to me than that man must be made a " new 
creature " before he can enjoy God. I wonder at myself that I 
could have been led away from " the hope of the gospel," even 
Christ. 

May 31st. — This is the anniversary of my "confirmation" in 
the Episcopal Church — an event, certainly, of no little importance 
in my history. I have to mourn over broken resolutions ; yet I 
have been led forward, and have been favored with abundant con- 
solations. And now I want to be wholly His. I have been read- 
ing, with much interest, " Wesley on Perfection," "Mahan" on 
the same, several other works on " Holiness," " Faith, and its 
Effects," and re-reading very carefully the " Life of Mme. Guyon." 
Though I am not prepared to accept fully the Methodist view, I 
must confess that my inquiries have almost resulted in conviction 
as to this " Life of Faith," as explained by Upham. I remember 
that, when I first met with the " Interior Life " at your house, in 
the summer of 1847, I felt reluctant to make the sacrifices his 
views required. When, in 1848 and 1849, I re-read his works, I 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAR. 85 

wished I could attain. Now I seem to see and believe, and most 
deeply do I hunger and thirst after holiness. I know that there is 
an earthly affection which pervades and governs every waking 
moment ; and can there not be a " perfect love " for a Being so 
infinitely worthy as God is ? Is there not in Christ a complete 
redemption ? I have been much more cheerful and happy during 
the voyage than I expected to be, yet it is not because my friends 
are less dear. No ; my heart lingers more fondly than ever be- 
fore around you and Kate and Bel ; and when my eye has fallen 
on the few lines you traced in your parting gifts, or on your bun- 
dle of old letters (which I placed on the shelf, but never dared 
trust myself to open), I have repeatedly burst into a flood of 
tears. But God sustains and comforts me, and I feel more and 
more inclined to my chosen work. 

Monday Morning, June 10, 1850, ) 
Indian Ocean, Lat. 28*, Long. 101° E. J 

My dear, dear Brother : I wish you could know, this 
morning, how fondly and earnestly my heart asks for your wel- 
fare ! 'Tis lovely here, and I am very happy. Is my brother in 
joy, or grief? This I cannot know now, and I leave him with 
God. It is now a little more than a week since the date of my 
last page ; and what have I to record ? The pen is slow, and 
words are cold to express the gladness of my soul and the good- 
ness of God. But, without indulging in expressions of feeling, I 
wDl endeavor to give you a clear and simple recital. You notice 
what is penned on the leaf under " May 31st ; " you see there the 
breathings of my soul after holiness, the seeking for the " life of 
God " in the soul. Though not destitute of religious enjoyment, 
though most earnest in my desires and sincere in my resolutions 
on that " anniversary," there was the deep pain of feeling that I 
had not fulfilled my purposes ; that I had, even that day, sinned 
in heart and word. On Sunday evening, June 2d, as I thought 
of my Redeemer, He seemed far off. I longed to love Him with 
the fervor I had wasted on earthly objects ; to feel His presence 
ever near, as I had realized their presence ; to rest, to delight in 
His love as I had in that earthly love. I was going to commune 
with my heart about this — to seek Him — to plead for light and 

love and intimate union. But Miss S (you remember I said 

she is a Methodist) begged me to stay with her ; and I replied : 
11 1 will stay, if you will talk to me about ' sanctification.' ° I 
had wished to ask her this before, but was too proud. Of course, 
she was glad to comply ; for, as she told me subsequently, she had 
watched my apparent interest in the doctrine, and had prayed for 
me. Our conversation was brief. I began by urging that I did 
not understand, I did not see the reason of this sudden feeling, 



86 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

this sudden progress in holiness ; and that I did not see how it 
was possible to keep the thoughts pure, the desires pure, even if 
the words were always right. I was aware of my own inconsis- 
tency in limiting a power and experience that, from the nature of 
the case, was above my vision. My friend replied : " You have 
nothing to do with that. Do you believe there is truth in the 
doctrine, and that the blessing is for all ? " My convictions com- 
pelled me to reply in the affirmative ; " but," I persisted, " I have 
not the unspeakable earnestness of desire which I must possess in 
order to seek and find." I knew my own inconsistency ; but, as 
a poor excuse is better than none, I wanted- something to excuse 
my want of faith. She replied : il Feeling must not be your 
stumbling block. Do you not desire, above all things, conformity 
to Christ, and consecration to Him ? " I knew such was my de- 
sire ; for it has been my most constant, earnest prayer for many 
months, " Lord, make me to suffer as Thou wilt, but make me 
holy ; bring me near to Thyself." I therefore confessed that such 
was the strongest desire of my heart. " But then," I continued, 
" I have some peculiar obstacle — at least, one dear idol ; and yet 
I hate it ; that is, pride. It is the poison tree of my life ; it acts 
out in all I do ; it makes me love the admiration and fear the 
scorn of the world. Can I ever conquer this ? " " No," she^ 
replied; "not yourself; but this is the victory that overcometh, 
even our faith. Accept Christ as a perfect Savior, and He will 
be such to you. He can be such to you this moment." She then 
began singing a hymn, which is very dear to those who love the 
doctrines of Jesus' divinity and vicarious suffering : " There is a 
fountain filled with blood," &c. I joined her (I have learned to 
sing the second treble), and we continued, singing one more com- 
mencing, " Come, humble sinner." In this exercise my faith had 
gathered strength, and there was a pause. After a, few moments' 
hesitation, I felt compelled to speak, though I tried to do so in a 

very indifferent manner. I said : " Miss S , I feel that I must 

believe." She replied : " That means, of course, that you do be- 
lieve." I could not but answer, " Yes." She continued : u Be- 
lieve what ? " I replied : " That the blood of Jesus Christ 
cleanseth from all sin. I have brought myself, in entire consecra- 
tion, a living sacrifice. I believe I am accepted ; for ' the altar 
sanctifieth the gift.' I am here, and His word I dare not doubt. 
He will cleanse me from all sin." I was startled at my own con- 
fession of faith, yet I dared say no less ; and I said, " will cleanse," 
because I was afraid to speak faster than my faith — my new and 
trembling faith — would warrant. But this did not fully satisfy 
my friend. She rejoined : " But can you say, l He cleanseth me 
now ? ' " There was only one answer, which would not necessa- 



TO HER THIRTIETH YEAR. 87 

rily imply a doubt of Jehovah's repeated promises. I therefore 
was compelled to reply : " Yes ; He saves me now." I was as- 
tonished at myself, and astonished, too, that I could utter such a 

momentous confession with so little emotion. But Miss S 

told me afterward, that she saw at once that peace had entered 
my soul ; and it is true that I was conscious of having done what 
was so imperatively required of me — viz., believed in the word 
and promise of God. In this, therefore, there was satisfaction. I 
returned to my room, and wrote a letter which I had for some 
time felt it peculiarly my duty to write ; and it was late before I 
finished. I then took my Bible, and thought I would read in 
1 Corinthians. I opened, and found the first chapter, and, read- 
ing on, I came to the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and especially the 8th 
and 9th verses. What new meaning ! what fulness ! Delighted, 
I turned, and the passage, 1 Thessalonians v. 23d and 24th, came 
to hand. But time will not allow me to mention all the texts that 
beamed upon me with fresh, new significance. Reluctantly I laid 
down my new Bible to seek my rest. With a heart ascending in 
thoughts of prayer and praise and love, I slept. Awaking after 
a few hours, my soul at once was drawn to my Redeemer in strong 
confidence, and I exclaimed : " He is, indeed, my Savior from all 
sin ! I am united to Him in the closest union, and by an ever- 
lasting covenant. He is mine." Again I slept, and, awaking 
before dawn, I longed for "the morning watch," that I might 
feast on His word. As soon as I could distinguish the letters, I 
was reading, or, more correctly, I was devouring the contents of 
the Holy Book. No novel reader (and I was once a novel reader) 
ever seized the newest work of a popular author more eagerly 
than I pored over this new volume I Yet how slowly I got on ! 
for on every verse my heart would pause in prayer and praise. I 
pursued, in a measure, my usual avocation, or, rather, I endeav- 
ored to do so ; for my thoughts would dwell upon one subject 
alone, and I was a long time in finishing the letter I had com- 
menced. Then I yielded to my bent, and returned to my Bible. 

All this time I had said nothing of my feelings to Miss S . 

Not that I was ashamed — for I longed to tell her — but because I 
almost feared she would not credit my state. But, when it was 
nearly night, I began by saying to her : "I seem to have found 
the key that unlocks wonderful treasures." With a kindling 
cheek, she replied : " I see — I have seen that it was so." " Why," 
replied I, in return, " I have tried to conceal my feelings ! " " But 
you have not," said she ; " your countenance has beamed with 
joy." In talking with her of Him who is altogether lovely, my 
heart was still more kindled in ardent love ; and, as she left me, I 
felt that I could only retire into my heart, and there commune 



88 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

with Him who had inspired, and who alone could understand ita 
fervor. But my joys became too full, and I felt constrained to go 

and tell Miss S of the new and increasing happiness. I speak, 

my dear brother, of joy, happiness, delight ; but, remember, it is 
delight in the love of Christ ; and Christ is the glory, the glory of 
God. Owing to a bad cold, I could not sleep well the next night ; 
nor did I wish to sleep. I had " songs in the night ; " and, at 
midnight, I lighted my lamp to read again the precious words of 
Him whom my soul loved. Morning, life, comforts — all were a 
fresh gift from the " Lover of my soul." The next day, and next, 
my joys were so intense, that I felt like saying, " Reveal to me no 
more than I can bear." Yes, I felt the pain of excessive love and 
joy. And thus it has continued till now, with certain variations 
of feeling, such as earnest, almost agonizing prayer for others, or 
deep, painful sense of so many wasted years ; but all is swallowed 
up in this perfect love and perfect faith. In this interval of nine 
days I have read only my Bible, and the new Methodist hymn 
book, which contains so many of Charles Wesley's hymns on 
sanctification. I have read (I now recall it) about fifty pages of 
Mme. Guyon, on the method of prayer. I have remained in 
my room in deep quietness, reluctant to leave communion with my 
God. As the poet, in exploring some new work, fastens on some 
gem of thought, and is riveted to it, yet feels in haste to leave it 
and find succeeding beauties ; or as the child, to whom a casket 
of jewels is given, seizes one, yet is attracted by the rays beaming 
from some other brilliant gem — so I with my Bible. When I tell 
you that, by faith every moment exercised in Jesus Christ, I have 
lived day after day without condemnation, dwelling in His love, 
and seeking every hour to glorify Him, do you think there is self- 
righteousness in this ? or spiritual pride ? No ; all, all of grace — 
" the Lord my righteousness." And I feel that upon the chief of 
sinners this, the exceeding riches of His grace, has descended. 

You will hardly need me to say, after all this, that I agree 
with Upham, Mme. Guyon, Fenelon ; that I have caught a sight 
of these high attainments ; and now, every weight and idol being 
cast aside, with what speed I can press forward in the strength of 
Him who can do all things for me ! 

Miss Tenney arrived at Victoria, Hong Kong, July 6th, the 
ship having touched at Java for a day or two. On the 2d of Au- 
gust she arrived at the mission in Shanghai, and speaks warmly 
of the cordial greetings of the missionary band there. Bishop 
Boone's most courteous, kind, and Christian letter, welcoming her 



TO HER THIRTIETH TEAR. 89 

to China, had already met her at Hong Kong. Of him she 
speaks as "a gentleman who would adorn any circle ; as a Chris- 
tian, any church." She repeats the expression written on ship- 
board to an intimate friend : "I rejoice more and more that I am 
an Episcopalian." 



PAET II. 

MISSIONARY LIFE 



CHAPTER I. 

AUGUST, 1850 — MARCH, 1862. 



First Impressions— Commencement of her Work— Earnest Missionary Appeals to 
her Friends in America— Severe Bereavement in the Death of her Brother's Wife 
—Confession of her Struggles on Leaving America — Missionary Labors and Trials 
— Defence of Missions and Missionaries — Chinese Customs and Character — Vicis- 
situdes in the Mission. 



TO REV. WILLIAM H. LEWIS, D. D., BROOKLYN, L. I. 

Shanghai, Aug. 9, 1850. 

Dear Sir : The steamer leaves this place for Hong Kong to- 
morrow, taking letters for the overland mail to England and 
America ; and I am not willing it should go without a letter from 
me to the friends of this mission in Brooklyn. After an interval 
of nearly five months from the date of my departure for China, I 
am happy in finding myself at my desired haven. The record of 
my voyage is the record of constant goodness and mercy from the 
hand of my Almighty Preserver and kind Father. I can but feel 
that I am laid under renewed obligation of gratitude and earnest 
obedience to Him who has dealt so bountifully with me. If our 
friend Mr. Gordon has duly received my letter of the 23d ult., 
you are informed of my arrival at Hong Kong on the 6th of July, 
after a passage of one hundred and eleven days ; and you have 
also learned that, in the society of pleasant missionary friends, in 
the constant reception of the utmost kindness from our excellent 
captain (in whose praise I cannot say too much), in the possession 
of everything necessary for bodily comfort, and, through mercy, 
enjoying much of the consolations of my Savior's presence, I was 
able to record those days as among the happiest of my life. I do 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 



91 



not remember one hour of lonely or depressed feeling. I felt, 
indeed, with increasing intensity, the reality of separation from 
country and friends. I knew the bitterness of tears ; but in all 
this there was joy — a joy greater than the world can understand 
or believe, and which it cannot give, or take away. I may add, 
they were profitable days, in which I was taught new and sweet 
lessons of duty and privilege. I must add my testimony to that 
of all who have tested the Savior's faithfulness. If He requires 
a difficult service, He gives abundant strength and consolation and 
reward in its performance. If He says, " Go, teach all nations," 
He graciously assures His servants, " Lo, I am with you to the 
end of the world." And those who resign all things to obey 
Him, do they not prove the reality and fulness of this unspeak- 
able blessing — the Savior's presence in all their way, in all their 
work? 

During an unavoidable detention of nearly three weeks at 
Hong Kong, I received great kindness and hospitality from the 
new Bishop of Victoria and his lady, of which I must ever retain 
a grateful remembrance. The Bishop of Victoria is known in 
America as the Bev. George Smith, author of a work on China. 
Hong Kong, being an English colony, has all the comforts and 
much of the elegance of a city in England or America ; but, 
entering the Chinese portion of the city of Victoria, one soon 
realizes that heathenism is around him, especially on the Sabbath ; 
and the heart is pained to remember that millions of beings know 
not of the rest and blessedness that day was designed to bring. 

As I spoke of some of the missionary operations and plans of 
Hong Kong in my letter to Mrs. Gordon, I will not repeat here. 
I left, on the 26th ult., in the steamer Lady Mary "Wood, for 
Shanghai. Though I looked toward that city, and my future 
labors there, with eager hope, I felt deeply the separation from 
the kind friends of my voyage, and of my sojourn in Hong Kong. 
In these ends of the earth life is peculiarly uncertain ; and, unless 
health should fail, missionaries of different stations, when parting, 
can indulge little or no hope of future interviews ; and the pleas- 
ure of grateful recollections is saddened by the thought that they 
shall meet no more on earth. 

The similar hopes, aims, and experience of laborers among 
the heathen cause them mutually to cherish deep and strong sym- 
pathies and attachment. Among them, if anywhere, is felt the 
strength and sweetness of the bond, the preciousness of the hope 
through our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Our passage up the coast was eight days — an unusual length 
of time for the steamer ; but we had constant head winds, and a 
severe gale, which, we feared, must have been a typhoon lower 



92 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

down the coast. For forty hours we were obliged to anchor in 
the bay of Amoy, and were most thankful to be thus sheltered. 

Thursday evening, August 1st, I stepped upon the shore I had 
so long wished to reach. I need scarcely say I was most cordially 
welcomed by our good bishop, and all the members of the mis* 
sion. Yes, I was indeed at Shanghai, with Christian friends, but 
among a people who knew not our God and Savior. Do you ask 
how I felt in realizing this fact, which I had so long anticipated ? 
Shall I say it was with gratitude for the mercies which had fol- 
lowed me, and for the warm affection of friends, who were ready 
gladly to receive and bless me for my Master's sake ? Shall I say 
it was with the delight with which a long-absent one approaches 
his home and rest ? Shall I say it was with the eagerness of the 
soldier entering a country of enemies, wretched through rebellion, 
to subdue it for his beloved Master and King ? Or shall I say it 
was with the ardent desire and joy of those who seek the land of 
gold and treasure ? Surely it was all these emotions combined, 
and more than these ; for my home and rest is where the will of 
God calls me to labor for Him ; and through His grace should I 
not rejoice above all things in that glorious warfare, which can 
never be in vain while the sure word of promise remains ? And 
is not the treasure I seek — even the welfare of souls — worth more 
than worlds ? And shall not some of them be my crown of re- 
joicing before all worlds ? It is, then, with deep and serious glad- 
ness that I contemplate my work. Upon the particular business 
of teaching I hope to enter in the course of two weeks. Of 
course, I allude to the English class ; but even in Chinese I shall 
be able, I am confident, to do some talking in the course of three 
months. You may be astonished that I should dream of such 
acquirement ; but with a good teacher, and with the assistance of 
the bishop, which is more valuable than many teachers without 
his help, and by talking with those who cannot understand Eng- 
lish, I must learn much more rapidly than it was possible to do 
formerly ; and I shall be obliged to talk to the servants, who can 
only understand Chinese. My idea of studying Chinese used to 
be, that we must sit down and learn four hundred and fifty dry, 
difficult characters first, and that I must pursue a course of abstract 
study. But the bishop's experience has taught him better than 
those old ideas ; and the success of Mr. Spaulding is one result of 
the bishop's plan. His method is eminently practical. I began 
Monday, August 5th, to study the Creed, and to repeat it. I 
shall get it perfectly this week. Next week, the Confession and 
Lord's Prayer, and so on. This gives me a vocabulary of words, 
which I can combine every day with others. I am more and 
more interested to get on every hour I study. The warm weathe 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 



93 



will soon pass away, so that I hope to make great progress before 
another summer. It is a great mercy that Miss Jones's health is 
preserved, for her services are invaluable. I long to be able to 
relieve her. Of course, the pupils were informed a new teacher 
was coming. Miss Jones told them they should be the first to 
welcome the new teacher. Imagine more than forty boys ranged 
on either side of a little bridge, which it was necessary to cross in 
approaching the house. They looked truly glad to see me. I 
would you could have seen their smiling faces ! The next morn- 
ing the bishop took the Christian boys, and the two Christian 
women, and brought them together into Miss Jones's apartment, 
and I was introduced to each separately, shaking hands after the 
fashion. The number of baptized boys now in school is seven ; 
and one or two other individuals are preparing for baptism. I do 
not know accurately the whole number in the church. One for- 
mer pupil, as you probably know, is preparing for the ministry, 
and could be ordained now, if there were a sufficient number of 
presbyters here to assist. I was present at an examination of the 
school yesterday. I am much pleased with the conduct of the 
school, and the progress of the scholars in real knowledge. Shall 
it not be that many constant and earnest prayers shall rise up 
from America, and from my friends in your church, that the Spirit 
of God may bless the instrumentality now in use ? If I could 
meet now with my friends, and could say but one word, that would 
be, Pray. Pray in earnest, in faith, for the special influences of 
His grace to turn the hearts of the heathen. But half the work 
is done when money is given and laborers are sent out. When 
the mournful state of the heathen weighs upon the heart of the 
church, and is a burden which they take in prayer to Him who 
waits to be " inquired of," then will a nation be born in a day. 
More and more deeply do I realize this utter dependence upon 
God, and the need of constant prayer. I am very anxious to be 
able to speak to the heathen of our God — of our Savior. I am 
studying eagerly, and cannot willingly pause to read or write of 
anything else. The mail leaves so soon, too, that I have to write 
in much haste, and to but three or four friends ; and these can 
have only short notes. I was glad to learn, on my arrival here, 
that Mr. Irving and yourself came to the wharf. I regret ex- 
ceedingly that there should have been mistakes in the time. The 
manner of my departure, confusion and anxiety as to my bag- 
gage, and as to my expected friends, was very trying to me then ; 
but it is over now, and, in the society of such friends as these, I 
am happy. All have warm hearts and great kindness. The 
bishop is most admirable in all respects. I shall write to Emma 
and Mrs. G. the next mail. Once more let me ask the prayers of 



94 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

those who desire the salvation of the heathen, that I may have 
grace to be faithful. Yours very truly, 

C. P. Tenney. 



TO MRS. RICHARD OSBORNE. 

Shanghai, Aug. 30, 1850. 

My dear "Aunt Alice : " One of my first attempts in letter 
writing, if I remember rightly, was to that same favorite " Aunt 
Alice." I am sure it must have been sixteen years ago, after my 
return from my first visit to Danvers. You would not have pre- 
dicted then that that overgrown girl would one day have made 
her way to China as a missionary. Yet such an event has come 
to pass ; and my first letter to Danvers shall be to that same Aunt 
Alice. And though thousands of miles and the deep ocean now 
separate us, my Aunt Alice is a hundredfold more dear to me 
than she was sixteen, or even ten years ago. Every day I think 
of you all, but most tenderly of that dear " aunt." I have writ- 
ten a long letter to Almira, which went by ship, and will not 
reach you before Christmas ; also one to Charlotte G. Letters 
also went to my brother from Hong Kong, July 24th, and again 
from here to leave Hong Kong August 24th. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Sept. 29, 1850. 

* * * An incident in my life, since I arrived in China, I 
meant to have noticed in writing to you, but I believe it has es- 
caped me hitherto. A gentleman, a minister, of about my own 
age, a widower with one sweet little boy, of uncommonly warm 
feelings and respect for woman as such, with a more than ordi- 
narily cultivated mind, liberal views, good manners, good looks, 
and ardent piety, learning something of me personally, and more, 
probably, from a fellow passenger, sought my hand. As my mind 
is clear as to certain subjects now, I declined at once. The rea- 
sons I gave him were these : that the labor most needed now, at 
this mission, was that which women, as single, could more success- 
fully discharge ; that I had given myself to this object, and could 
not thus turn aside ; that it was not well that persons of widely 
different views, though only upon two or three points, should be 
united ; and, finally, that I had known enough of earthly loves, 
and shrank from the fever, the anxieties, and the agonies. The 
answer he gave, while it heightened my esteem for him, in no 
wise made me regret my determination. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 95 

TO MRS. OLIVER H. GORDON, BROOKLYN, N. Y. 

Shanghai, Sept. 11, 1850. 

My dear Mrs. Gordon : The departure of the regular mail 
steamer on the 13th, from this port, admonishes me to drop books, 
characters, and nasal vociferations, and prepare letters for Ameri- 
ca. Yours of May 21st came to hand about the middle of Au 
gust ; and I assure you, though it was only a brief note, it gave me 
much pleasure. I have, as yet, had but three letters from Ameri- 
ca. I hope for more the coming mail. — I am very happy to learn 
the prosperous condition of your church, especially of the mission 
church ; and, more than all, that it is to be supplied with a deci- 
dedly evangelical ministry. I trust that, in all the benevolent 
enterprises of the Church of the Holy Trinity, they may be emi- 
nently prospered, and find rich blessings return upon their own 
souls. "Freely ye have received, freely give," and "it is more 
blessed to give than to receive," are words which should be as 
favorite watchwords with the followers of the self-sacrificing Re- 
deemer. Since my last to Dr. Lewis, I have entered actively 
upon the duties of teacher. Of course, I am occupied with such 
lessons as can be taught in English ; but I thus have necessities 
and opportunities for practising and learning colloquial Chinese. 
I spend something more than three hours thus, and then am with 
a Chinese teacher three hours in the afternoon, vociferating the 
tones, and learning words and characters. As writing at night 
hurts my eyes more than anything else, I have to improve snatches 
of time in the day ; so I fear my letters may often seem discon- 
nected, On the Sabbath, if it is pleasant, I go over to the city 
to church (it is some distance, across a ferry), and, soon after re- 
turning, go into school for two hours. There the boys are taught 
hymns, cards, catechisms, commandments, creeds, Scripture texts. 
Much of this is in English, and the highest class understand Eng- 
lish very well, so that I am able to be of use here too. But oh, 
how I long for freedom in Chinese ! I was glad that I could at 
once be of use to the mission, though, as the best hours of time 
and strength are given to teaching, of course I cannot expect to 
get along so fast in my studies. Some time at night I devote to 
preparing for the next day's lessons in school ; that is, in learning 
necessary Chinese words and phrases. This, of course, adds to 
my vocabulary. I am much more interested in the boys, as indi- 
viduals, than I had supposed I could be in so short a time. "When 
I first saw them, they looked all alike, and I wondered when I 
should learn the forty-six names. But the names are learned, and 
the faces too. I had been told so often, by people who love to 
forebode, that I should find the reality of teaching the heathen very 



96 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

different from the imagination of it. I still have much to learn, it 
is highly probable, of the waywardness of human nature, and the 
trials of love and patience resulting from it and from stupidity 
and degradation. But I had been so much afraid of indulging 
enthusiasm or imagination, or even of looking at the bright side 
without enough remembering the darker view, that I had prepared 
myself as for a battle with innumerable trials of feeling. I came 
to suppose that the heathen themselves would be so distasteful, 
that it was only by constant reference to a Savior's life and death 
and love that I could bring myself to the duty of faithful instruc- 
tion. To be sure, the " constraining love " of Christ is the only 
sure, unfailing stimulus and support, as it is the only great and 
purifying motive. Yet, with all this, there are feelings that come 
to the aid of our human nature ; and my heart goes out to these 
benighted ones with a tenderness even, which, in far-off America, 
I had not begun to cherish. When I touched at Java, my 
convictions and desires for missionary duty were deepened and 
strengthened twofold. When I landed in China, I may say the 
purpose to M do with my might " was increased with tenfold 
power. It is true that, through the patience and care and faith- 
fulness of the laborers already and so long here, comfort has been 
prepared for those coming now ; facilities for learning and oppor- 
tunities for benevolent action are at hand ; and, if any one has 
time to spare, there is agreeable missionary or other society not 
far from our establishment. But were this not so, provided there 
were a sufficient degree of comfort for the preservation of toler- 
able health, I do feel that there is enough to animate and sustain 
the hope and faith and patience and love and labors of that indi- 
vidual who really and ardently loves Him who said, u Go, teach 
all nations." Oh ! there is something in the sight of heathenism 
that moves the inmost soul of the Christian. What mingled 
emotions — love, gratitude, wonder, adoration, in view of our own 
privileges — shame, contrition, resolve, in view of our past unfaith- 
fulness, and earnest, even agonizing prayer, " Thy kingdom 
come ! " It is well to count the cost, yet it does seem to me 
there is too much fear. We are to expect daily supplies of grace 
according to our need. But do not many expect to receive the 
grace for living in exile before they enter it ? If there are hin- 
derances, there are helps too. I was not intending to write so 
much at length upon this point ; but, if I do not misjudge, there 
is an excessive fear, as well as a deficiency in love ; and both 
result from weak faith. 

How significant, then, .the prayer, " Lord, increase our faith ! " 
I hope there are some in America, especially in Brooklyn, who 
remember their Chinese missionary. I would entreat their con- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 97 

stant and earnest prayers, that, if I have begun in earnest, I may 
have the great grace of patient continuance, that thus I may honor 
my Master, and promote the coming of His kingdom. That peti- 
tion, li Thy kingdom come," has acquired new force since I gave 
myself to this one object, especially since I have entered the reign 
of darkest night. As I look back on my own past years, and see 
how unbelieving, blind, and stupid I have been, even since I knew 
something of the love of Christ, I wonder if it may not be the 
same, in a measure, with others, for want of thought. You know 
the half of our Lord's prayer relates not immediately to ourselves, 
but to our Father, and His kingdom and will. Do we often 
enough think what those petitions include ? or, if we do think, is 
it not in too general a manner, so that our hearts are not touched ? 
I am sometimes astonished, as I look over the promises to the 
heathen, as to the number and fulness of the good things that are 
predicted. But God will be " inquired of." Is there adequate 
feeling, adequate faith, adequate prayer in the hearts of Christians 
to bring a speedy blessing ? or, unless our souls be quickened, can 
we pray heartily ? Are our hearts burdened with desire for the 
reign of righteousness ? Have we learned the great lesson of 
sympathy with the mind of the Lord Jesus Christ ? Do we think 
of Him as bearing ever on His heart the interests of His kingdom 
— as waiting for a world's conversion ? Before His coming in the 
flesh, we think of Him as ordering all things for the great con- 
summation. Now, He expects His redeemed ones to be co-work- 
ers with Him. How great the privilege ! how great the honor ! 
Do we thus cherish constant yearning desires for the salvation of 
a lost world, our perishing fellow creatures? It will one day be 
asked of us, " Where is thy brother ? " Can we have it to say, 
" I have truly prayed for him ? " If so, let us remember the 
promises, and pray in faith. Was the last command of our 
ascending Lord to send His people on a vain errand ? Yet, are 
there not some who call themselves Christians, who seem to think 
it vain ? His word is yea and amen. Let us, then, one and all, 
ask great blessings. Is anything too hard for the Lord ? Indeed, 
can our requests equal His promises ? I verily believe that if all 
Christians now living would pray and labor and give and bring 
the tithes into the storehouse, as though the conversion of the 
world might and must be by their means, this generation would 
not have passed away before every heathen nation should have 
received the gospel. Our eyes, even, should see the hitherto de- 
luded nations bending to the Redeemer we love. — I fear I have 
wearied you by indulging thus at length upon one topic ; but I so 
feel (and sadly) my own want of faith and a prayerful spirit in 
reference to the heathen, especially in the past, that I am unwill- 



98 MEMOIK OF MRS. KEITH. 

ing, if it is in my power to say one " word in season," to be alto- 
gether silent. But I forbear. I do feel that our church has espe- 
cial reason for gratitude, hope, and joy in reference to this mission. 
I will not indulge in comparisons, but I may say with humble 
thankfulness, none has been more blessed. And, now the field is 
so white, so ready, the apparatus so complete, must we continue to 
lament that the laborers are so few ? "When the Moravian Church 
numbered only six hundred members, it sent out about forty mis- 
sionaries — (now, if I mistake not, it numbers more than forty thou- 
sand) — one in fifteen. The bishop is very anxious to establish a 
girls' school as soon as possible ; indeed, it is greatly needed. 
Shall these boys, now almost young men, be compelled to take 
heathen wives, or remain unmarried ? Yet such is the single 
alternative. For this, two ladies should be now preparing. Mr. 
Syle is evidently worn by his unremitting toil ; and, when he 
droops, there is none to relieve him. The bishop has been seri- 
ously sick for the last few days, but is now better. May God in 
mercy spare him to us ! Miss Jones is one of the excellent of the 
earth, and indefatigable in her labors. Although I knew not how 
to come so hurriedly as I did, and leave a darling sister upon a 
sick-bed, sinking by slow degrees to the grave ; though I knew 
not how to tear myself away without a visit to dear friends from 
whom I had long been separated ; though I departed a stranger, 
with few who knew or could think of me with any peculiar inter- 
est, yet I am glad and grateful that I came when I did. How 
great was the need of the smallest help ! I am gaining some- 
thing, of course, every day ; and I expect time, perseverance, and 
God's blessing may do for me what they have enabled others 
to do. 

Give my kind regards to Mr. Gordon, and remember me to 
your children. I did not mean to have written as I have, or so 
much at length ; but my pen will have its own way. I shall not 
soon again have the time to spare. Yours ever, 

C. P. Tenney. 

TO MISS MARGARET E. CUTTER, BROOKLYN, N. Y. 

Shanghai, Sept. 18, 1850. 

My dear Friend : If I wait till I have time enough to write 
you just as long and full a letter as I could wish, I shall never 
write you at all. I will therefore snatch a few moments, now and 
then, till I have expressed some of the many thoughts I would 
like to express to my ever-dear though far-off cousin. As I sit 
here in my new Asiatic home (the wind and rain of the equinoc- 
tial beating against my windows), two periods of our acquaintance 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 99 

rise most vividly to my view. One is, that of my return from the 
South, in 1849, when your kindness was so soothing to a then 
sorrowing heart. The other is, when you bade me farewell with 
a tear. Did you not then feel the preciousness of the Christian 
hope and tie ? Perplexed as I was at that hour with exceeding 
cares, I did feel, even then, a great difference in parting with 
Christian friends and those who professed no such hope. I am 
happier in thinking of you, because I am sure you love your Sa- 
vior and His cause, and that you can and do pity the nations " sit- 
ting in darkness." Dear M., we can never too often remember 
that " we have been bought with a price " — that we are no more 
" our own." Are we doing all we can ? Do all our powers, re- 
deemed from ruin, unite with all their might for the glory of that 
Redeemer? Is that Redeemer dearer to us than the dearest 
friend ? Do we love as much to hold communion with Him ? 
Do our thoughts turn ever quickly to Him and His excellence ? 

But I did not know my pen would so soon find this topic, for 
there are many sensible objects, and many subjects in this heathen 
land, of which I was wishing to speak. Yet, let me still pause to 
say, dear M., that, in writing to you, I would beg the privilege of 
a Christian sister ; and I would hope you will use the same in 
writing to me. You know that, within the last three years, I 
have known severe trial ; that it has been somewhat blessed, as I 
trust, to the deepening of the religious sentiments I had previ- 
ously cherished, and that I have wished to be wholly the Lord's. 
And I must add, to the praise of the faithful Redeemer, whose 
promise is, u Lo, I am with you always," that, in the last four 
months, He has revealed, by His word and gracious Spirit, much 
that was new to me in thought and experience. I see things, I 
look at them, as I did not formerly — as I did not one year, or 
even six months ago. And I have alluded to this now, because 
it may explain the character of my future letters. They will be 
more serious than ever before ; not because it would be proper for 
a " missionary," or as a part of my new profession, but because I 
feel differently as to life and its employments. This is the way I 
look at these things now. Life is but too short for what I ought 
to do — for what I wish to do for my Redeemer in the service of 
my fellow sinners. I have made, or wish to make, a perfect con- 
secration of selfj of all my time and talents, to Him. For in- 
stance, in the talent of writing — letter writing — in the time (very 
brief as it is) that I may give to such converse, how shall I best 
improve it for my own good, the good of others, and by the light 
of eternity? Not that it is necessary always to be speaking 
directly of religion ; only that, as an ardent, consuming love to 
Christ and lost souls seems so paramount to all other objects of 



100 MEMOIR OF MBS. KEITH. 

desire, it will, consequently, be natural for my thoughts to take 
that direction. I would be willing to write no letter, no expres- 
sion, upon which I could not ask and expect God's blessing ; and 
thus I shall, doubtless, write to my Christian friends, as " stirring 
up their pure minds by way of remembrance." I shall try not to 
be tedious ; but one thing I have determined, by the grace of 
God — to know nothing, by word or pen, but Jesus Christ and 
Him crucified. I remember painfully my wasted life in the past, 
and, by His help, will try henceforth to redeem the time. I hope 
my dear M. will have the goodness to excuse this long talk about 
myself. If in anything I have indeed made progress since I left 
you, to God be all the praise. Will you not pray for me, that I 
may henceforth be " found faithful " ? I hope you have written, 
and that you will write me with entire frankness of your joys, 
trials, purposes, desires, as to an elder sister. Though so far 
away, I can sympathize in all your affairs. By no means indiffer- 
ent to your earthly happiness in the consummation of your dear- 
est hopes, I am still more solicitous that your best affections 
should be above this world, and that your life should be " hid " 
in Christ. 

You would like to get some idea of the scenes around me. I 
have written as to my home, and its daily enjoyments and duties 
and I am so busy that I have, as yet, seen little of "outdoor" life. 
The very first thing, probably, that strikes a newcomer, is the 
many hillocks and tiny houses and mat-covered boxes disfiguring 
the fields and the banks of the river ; and then one ascertains 
them to be graves, or rather the places where dead people are de- 
posited. One cannot go twenty rods in any direction without 
seeing or passing them. Sometimes dogs disturb these remains, 
though, probably, this is not often ; then, they moulder, box and 
all fall to pieces, and the bones remain. Sometimes (as to-day I 
saw) one is seen floating in the river. The poorer sort are gen- 
erally buried thus, because the friends cannot afford to buy a 
grave, which costs more than to buy the lease of a resting place. 
The Chinese seem to be fond of burying on a hillside ; and, in 
this immediate region of country, there is not one hill, or hillock 
even, to be seen without being thus occupied. One who was 
afraid of ghosts would be much disturbed. Numbers of graves 
are within sight from my windows, and I pass within two yards 
of some every day. The howling or wailing for the dead, both 
here and at Hong Kong, and I suppose generally in China and 
the East, is very horrible — sometimes, doubtless, a genuine ex- 
pression of distress. I have been into the city only a few times ; 
but I then always see miserable beggars, some sick, extended on 
the ground in the last struggles of life. Cases of extreme suffer- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 101 

ing are indeed to be seen in the cities of Christendom ; but, in the 
midst of the summer of a plenteous year, starvation would be un- 
heard of. The little that will support a Chinese is astonishing. 

Their coin is of very small value, fifteen hundred equalling 
our dollar. The sight of the shaved heads, and long, unadorned 
necks, and loose (and, when it can be afforded, long) sack-like gar- 
ments, is queer enough. To this add the queues, extending, by 
the aid of false hair or braid cords, even to their heels, and the 
climax of uncouthness, to our notions, will have been obtained. 
To see little boys thus, like little old men, is still less endurable. 
But what shall I say, when I come to the women and girls ? 
They bestow much pains upon the hair, combing it back from the 
forehead in a peculiar manner, and bringing it all into one solid, 
shining bow at the back of the head ; then, the more flowers and 
ornaments the better — earrings especially. I think it would cure 
fine ladies at home of love for earrings, to see them worn here. 
As to their dress, you know it is the loose pantaloon ; and their 
tunics, or sacks, from one to ten (according to the weather), in 
cold weather they pile on to a wonderful number. The genteel 
dress of a Chinese lady is really very, very pretty. I like it bet- 
ter than the European. And what of those small feet ? you will 
say. Why, that I involuntarily feel pity, as for a cripple, when 
I see them " tottling " along. A lady, indeed, can scarcely walk, 
and has to hold by everything she can catch, to support herself. 
The ankle, which we like to see small, in them is huge, the foot 
being up there. They really walk on the big toe. It is piteous 
to hear the little children cry when their feet are first bound ; but 
a girl loses caste if her feet are large ; she is as one of the poor- 
est class. I think the pictures of the Chinese that we see are 
rather caricatures than otherwise ; for their faces are really not 
half as destitute of expression as I had expected. Their language 
and its unwieldiness is the greatest obstacle to their mental cul- 
ture. A lifetime is consumed in learning to handle the instru- 
ments of mental cultivation ; new sets of words, and with them, 
of course, characters also, being necessary to every branch of sci- 
ence. I do not see how they are ever to get on with knowledge 
in general. Comparing the present with the past, China is won- 
derfully open to the gospel messengers ; and I look for greater 
manifestations of God's power and grace here than elsewhere, be- 
cause here, indeed, it must be by His might ; and shall not this 
nation be " born in a day ? " There is much more I would like 
to say, but I can command no more time at present. Believe me 
ever yours, C. P. Tenney. 



102 MEMOIR OF MBS. KEITH. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Nov. 15, 1850. 

My dear Mrs. Gordon : Your kind letter by the " Panama " 
was at length received, having had a narrow escape from destruc- 
tion in a bag of beans. I was refreshed by the affectionate spirit 
it breathed, and especially for the assurance that there are some 
who pray for me. Oh ! my dear friend, there are none who feel 
their utter weakness so much as missionaries. Few in number 
amid many, without command of the many means of good which 
Christians at home possess, without a full vocabulary, even, to 
express the true doctrine, they are compelled every hour to say, 
" Who is sufficient for these things ? " I understand more of the 
need and value of prayer than in my whole previous life. I un- 
derstand why Paul prayed so earnestly, and why he so often said, 
" Brethren, pray for us." "We know that it is little with God to 
work by many or by few. Few, indeed, has this mission num- 
bered, yet it has been greatly blessed, as if to show the goodness 
and power of God. * * * A few of the betrothed girls are 
gathered here, over whom Mrs. Syle and Miss Jones extend their 
cares and pains. But how we need a girls' school ! Other mis- 
sions are strengthening ; ours has been weakening. Is there not 
reason, then, that in every letter I should renew the request, 
" Pray for me — pray for us — pray that more laborers may be sent 
— seek for the promises, and pray earnestly in faith ? " As Chris- 
tians, our business is prayer and praise and obedient service. 
Love to all, from yours, C. P. Tenney. 

TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, Dec. 19, 1850. 

Dear Sir : Another month has expired since my last letters 
to America, and to some of my friends at Hong Kong. In writ- 
ing to them, and to you, my dear sir, I often feel one disadvan- 
tage — viz., so little of intimate or personal acquaintance between 
myself and those to whom I write ; so that I fear my letters may 
take a cold and official form (if I may use such an expression), 
rather than the free, warm character of letters between friends. 
And there is another disadvantage, which will result in disappoint- 
ment to any who look for notice of striking incidents in my let- 
ters — viz., a residence out of the city ; so that Chinese novelties 
do not often come under my observation ; and a life as teacher, 
which is quiet and monotonous in all its details. Much that would 
naturally flow from my pen would interest personal acquaintances 
from their knowledge of the writer ; while deficiency in ordinary 
missionary incident will leave my letters dry and dull to those 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 103 

who, only knowing me as in the character of missionary, care only 
for missionary information. I allude to these points that you may 
be aware of an influence that must more or less affect my letters, 
and thus render them less worthy than I could wish of the perusal 
of friends in Brooklyn. Such as I have in my power, however, 
I shall gladly offer each month ; and, if I know my own heart, I 
may add, chiefly with the desire and prayer that whatever I may 
write may, in its humble measure, tend to the glory of God and 
the good of " His cause " — especially His cause in this heathen 
land. From the later numbers of the Spirit of Missions which 
have arrived here, I can but perceive the increasing interest of 
their contents. Nor is this mainly because I am now upon the 
very heathen ground to which some of these communications re- 
late ; but I am sure that the missions of the Episcopal Church of 
America give plain indication of the blessing of God upon them, 
and afford much encouragement both to the immediate laborers 
and to those at home who give the necessary support and the 
tribute of their thoughts, sympathies, and prayers. . I have never 
felt so much interest in Africa as since I came to China ; and, 
while I truly rejoice in all the prosperity of that mission, I also 
wish that the China mission were as strong in laborers. By the 
way, will you let me ask if the Missionary Intelligencer — an Eng- 
lish publication — is accessible to you? The account of missionary 
stations under the English Church, and especially the English 
African, in its undertakings and prosecutions, would often afford 
most interesting, valuable, and animating intelligence in your mis- 
sionary meetings, opening to larger views, exciting to more earnest 
desires for the redemption of this dark and sinful race from its 
bondage and misery. I never met with the work till since I came 
to Shanghai ; and, feeling that I have derived benefit from it, and 
regarding it as the most interesting missionary periodical I have 
ever met with, I desire particularly to commend it to the notice 
of those who care for missions, and are seeking to aid them. 
Anything which gives more definiteness to our knowledge as to 
what has been accomplished in the last fifty years, as to the labors 
and sacrifices of devoted men and women, as to the openings and 
leadings of Providence in the missionary enterprise, as to the piti- 
able state of the millions who are sitting in darkness, and whose 
habitations are cruelty, and everything that illustrates to us the 
fulfilments of the inspired record, in its predictions of the Redeem- 
er's conquests, and the manifestations of His power — all this is to 
us as the "cloud of witnesses," by which we are incited to greater 
diligence and hope and prayer in our arduous race of duty. How 
great are our responsibilities, to whom such wonderful blessings 
have been given ! How do we need every help, that we may not 



104 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

be found unfaithful to our great calling as Christians ! If I have 
seemed to forget China for a moment, it is because the field is the 
world, and demands our earnest sympathies and prayers. Per- 
haps none realize as do those laboring on heathen ground, how 
the " whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain," and there- 
fore, perhaps, with peculiar desire they wait for the redemption — 
for the coming of Him whose righteous kingdom shall be from sea 
to sea. 

It is now more than five months since I stepped upon heathen 
shores, and more than four that I have been putting forth my very 
imperfect efforts for the good of these Chinese children. If, for a 
moment, friends could be transported hither, or for an hour I could 
visit America, what would be the first question their hearts would 
propose to the missionary ? Would they not ask : " What were your 
impressions of heathenism ? and how does the momentous past 
appear from day to day ? " How should I begin to answer such 
a question ? How give expression to the feelings and the desires 
of a disciple of Jesus the Savior, but in the words of the unerring 
Book : " Darkness hath covered the earth, and gross darkness the 
people. They have no fear of God before their eyes. The way 
of peace have they not known." " God hath given them over to 
a reprobate mind. ,, What descriptions relating to the heathen are 
so fearful ? What can be so correct as those in Holy Writ ? 
But then, in that same blessed Book, it is written that the angels 
sang, " On earth peace ; " and also, " How beautiful upon the 
mountains are the feet of those who bring tidings of good things ! " 
It is inexpressibly painful to contemplate the sinfulness of the 
human race apart from the promises of God. 

But to return to the fact of heathenism. That little company 
of missionaries on the Tartar will never forget their emotions 
when they first looked upon the devotees of a false religion, amid 
the surpassing beauties of the Javan isle. But a volume could 
not express the rapidly crowding thoughts and the unutterable 
compassion that engrossed their minds. They will never forget 
the deep self-abasement with which they recalled their own rich 
blessings in the gospel — having rendered too cold a return. And 
oh, that we may never forget with what new love, with what new 
resolve we exclaimed continually in our hearts, " Lord, we are 
thine — thine by ten thousand thousand obligations ! " Certainly, 
for the moment, they, in the spirit of the great missionary to the 
Gentiles, were willing to impart their own souls unto these hea- 
then, if necessary. Time has calmed the tumult of feeling, and it 
also has brought a deeper impression and a clearer understanding 
of the darkness and degradation of the heathen mind. There is 
fearful depravity in Christendom ; but here there is depravity and 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 105 

darkness. The whole standard is low, the whole land dark. 
There is no light, no knowledge of better things. Yet let not 
any one suppose, from this last remark, that the heathen " do as 
well as they know how." They have no conception of a pure 
and holy God by which to try their own character. Nevertheless, 
such is the "law written on the heart," that, in committing deeds 
of darkness, they shrink from the light. But there is no motive 
which can give strength to the common mind to resist temptation. 
Their own sages teach, and the people profess to believe, that 
man's nature is originally good and pure ; thus testifying to a con- 
science now accusing of sin and evil. To them, equally with the 
high-minded moralists of Christendom, it is a hard doctrine that 
" the imagination of the thoughts of men's hearts is only evil con- 
tinually." In an English class book of our school it is said of the 
Chinese that they are much given to " fibbing and stealing." To 
this our most reflecting scholar objected ; but, when pressed with 
the fact that no Chinese puts confidence in another Chinese, he 
could not deny it ; and added, he did not believe that any man 
who did not believe in Jesus would not lie or steal. It is one of 
the trials to a benevolent mind — one wishing to be kind to those 
he pities so much — that he must live a warfare of self-defence. In 
every possible way, plans are laid to filch and cheat. One who 
has not learned the lesson, cannot have an idea of the trial, espe- 
cially where it is from those for whom he has done so much, and 
tried to teach better things. Yet, by such every-day incidents, 
we learn to be more thankful for the gospel — to be more in earnest 
to disseminate it. The humbling question, " Who maketh thee to 
differ ? " and the recollection of our own ill deserts in the sight of 
Him who weighs the hearts of all men, helps us to be patient 
toward the evil-minded, praying for the grace of God which bring- 
eth salvation. 

We have been gladdened by the intelligence that Miss Fay 
will soon join us, and that another lady will accompany Miss 
Morse on her return. We hope that even now these three may 
be on their way to China. This leads us all to think more earn- 
estly about the girls' school, and the building necessary for it. 
Would that it were in the process of erection ! When schools 
were first established, it was with difficulty boys could be ob- 
tained, because parents were not willing to bind them for ten 
years. Probably to obtain girls would have been much more diffi 
cult. Now, frequent applications are made in behalf of boys ; 
>nd girls, too, are offered, whom, in our present circumstances, we 
cannot receive. Miss Jones, though so devotedly and so long 
laboring for the boys, has been waiting for the time when she 
might devote herself to girls ; but when the period for such a 
5* 



106 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

work is nearly come, her health has almost given way. She is 
now much better ; and her experience and judgment and patience 
and well-tried devotion and piety would be invaluable, though 
she could not leave her room. There are now six girls in the 
house ; but they cost double the care and anxiety, in their present 
position, that they would in a separate establishment, entirely 
remote. Mrs. Syle directs their studies and work in the morning, 
and gives them faithful religious instruction on the Sabbath. In 
the afternoon they are with their own Chinese teacher. Last 
week, a little girl was brought to us, and, though it was almost 
impossible to receive her, Miss Jones could not find it in her heart 
to refuse her. The paper was made out duly giving her up to the 
mission ; and we were amused to find that the teacher, who had 
been set to draw up the document, had, after stipulating that she 
was not to be "betrothed," and not to have her "feet bound," 
also inserted, of his own notion, that her " ears were not to be 
bored ! " Was there not some reason in this classing together of 
the three things ? So much gold and silver and glass and stones 
is worn in the ears and on the heads, even of the very poor, that 
the heathenism of such things strikes me as it never did before. 
Perhaps I should be thought ultra and over strict ; but I am sure, 
if ladies at home could see the ornamented ears in China, they 
would no longer admire the fashion, and would highly approve of 
St. Paul's strictures. Bracelets and rings are worn by the poor, 
as something it would be strange not to have. Great quantities 
of false hair are worn by the women ; and she who has not the 
hair neatly arranged, with the customary bands and pins, must be 
one who has lost all ambition of respectability — one single style 
being universal in this province. The heads and feet must be well 
attended to, no matter how ordinary the apparel. "Women who 
must earn their own living commonly do not know how to make 
their own clothes ; and these have to be given to men tailors. 
All their spare time is given to making and ornamenting their 
own little shoes. 

A few days since, in taking a stroll along the narrow paths 
between the rice fields, we were directed to a house where a wed- 
ding was in celebration. The abode was humble ; but a large 
company had gathered, and a profusion of eatables was on the 
table, and hanging around the room. Everybody was merry but 
the bride, who must be seated on the bed all day ; and she is to 
pass three nights of watching. The people were happy to see 
and to gratify our curiosity. So we narrowly inspected the head- 
dress of the bride, which was made of flowers ingeniously wrought 
from feathers, and set off with brilliant glass resembling precious 
stones, and with many pendants of wax beads. Our attention 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 107 

was then directed to her feet, in little red shoes. Her whole dress 
was of scarlet, and beautifully wrought. The mistress of ceremo- 
nies was also beautifully dressed in richly wrought clothes. The 
bridal chair, in which the bride is conveyed to her home, is cov- 
ered with scarlet cloth ; and the shrill trumpet guides the bridal 
procession. I believe the most significant part of the bridal cere- 
mony is when the bride pays worship to her new husband's ances- 
tors. Although it would be an almost unheard-of thing that a man 
should not be married, and an unhappy case in China if a girl re- 
mained yet unmarried, it is a regular custom that a girl spends a 
certain time in wailing previous to her marriage ! And such a 
custom seems the most reasonable part of the marriage ceremo- 
nies ; for she surrenders herself to a stranger, who may be cruel 
to her, and whom, at best, she must serve as a slave. Of course, 
our observations of China are mostly of its poor ; but the other 
da,j we made a visit to a rich family. They were affable and 
communicative — showed us through their house, led us to the 
" ancestral tablets." Pictures of the deceased were hung up, and 
before these stand servants in small statues ; and here are placed 
provisions ; here is burnt incense; here bow the relatives ; here the 
Buddhist priests say M mass " for the dead. This ancestral worship 
is what the people give up with most reluctance — it is so interwoven 
with their respect for parents and ancestors. The gods are not so 
real to them as their ancestors ; and the Buddhist priests encourage 
this, because thus they get a livelihood. They know the folly of 
their vain repetitions ; but this is their trade. And it is strange, 
too, that the people have no respect for these priests; they despise 
them, and even jeer at them ; but when a relative dies, then they 
must be called to beat the cymbals, and to recite prayers. 

A few days ago I was attracted by the sight of many people 
in white, and found they were burning the clothes of a dead man, 
as is the custom, that these clothes may go up in smoke for his use 
in another world ; the priests meantime beating the cymbals and 
saying prayers, the relations bowing to the consuming garments in 
respect to him to whom they were going. Great feasting is had 
at funerals, too ; so that the poor are kept poor all their lives by 
the expenses of their weddings and funerals. 

I began, however, to speak of our visit to the sick family. A 
Chinese dwelling, as you are aware, is in the form of a square 
enclosing a court. In this court were artificial rocks and hills, to 
create an idea of wild scenery. This was the more striking, as 
the country far, far around is perfectly level — one of the largest, 
richest, and most populous valleys in the world. I believe one of 
these ladies, if not more, can read some ; and they are fondly 
wedded to idolatry. On one occasion, Mrs. Syle, visiting them 



108 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

after the death of a favorite child, for whose loss the mother was 
inconsolable, alluded to the consolation which the believer in 
Jesus Christ had, when a dear little one was taken ; but, though 
they previously had understood and replied to all the remarks of 
Mrs. Syle, these they would not understand, and changed the sub- 
ject with evident displeasure. Some of the gentlemen of the 
house stood by, at the time of our visit ; but it would have been 
impolite to speak to ladies. 

The time when I am most painfully and intensely affected with 
a sense of heathenism, is on the Sabbath. In the quiet of my 
own room, I feel that it is the sweet, the holy day of rest ; but, 
as I look through the window, I see multitudes wending their way 
to their daily toil — a toil that will cease only in a dark and hope- 
less grave ! And then, when I remember that not only this val- 
ley — that not only China, but millions and millions in other por- 
tions of the earth, are in equal darkness and greater misery (for 
we must remember that China is a favorable specimen of heathen- 
ism compared with Africa and the savages of Polynesia), my 
spirit is overwhelmed, and much sorrow and heaviness is in my 
heart because of those who walk in darkness. The involuntary 
question arises : Why were not these brought in ? why was not 
the gospel given to them ? In utter ignorance, I can only be sure 
of this, that the Judge of all the earth will do right. He who 
gave His only Son for a sinful world — He who sendeth the rain 
on the just and the unjust — He surely loves these better than I 
can. Shall I not, then, cheerfully acquiesce in His will ? But 
then another question arises : Is it His will, except by permission, 
that no more should hearken to the command, " Go ye into all the 
world, and preach the gospel to every creature ? " 

It is hard for the flesh to resign country and kindred ; and it 
must have been hard for Abram to go out according to God's 
word ; it must have been hard for him to take the knife to slay 
his son ; it must have been hard for Moses to resign the pleasure 
and honor of the Egyptian court : but by faith they obeyed, and 
received the reward ; and faith must live upon the promises ; it 
must keep the eye fixed on the things which, though unseen, are 
the only realities. " The love of Christ constraineth ; " and if the 
heart sometimes grows faint, and the spirit weary, then the "cloud 
of witnesses," and the multitude of promises, and the grace of Him 
who is ever with His people, renews and sustains the affections 
and the will. — But I much fear I am wearying you with too long 
a letter. I have not said much of my school, of our mission as 
such, because the full reports of Mr. Syle, and the information 
afforded by Miss Morse's visit to the United States, probably ren- 
der such particulars less necessary. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 109 

Will you allow me, dear sir, before closing, to speak of my 
own particular trial since I have become a missionary, as a reason 
why I especially need a remembrance in the prayers of my 
friends ? You may recollect that, during the brief days I spent 
with my only brother before my departure, his wife, my early 
friend and most affectionate and dearly beloved sister, was seized 
with illness, which to us appeared serious. But duty seemed to 
call me away then, and I obeyed. The first letter from my 
brother gave me comfort. The 2d of June gave me alarming 
intelligence of her relapse, and great danger. The letter was 
received by me September 20th. Since then I have heard noth- 
ing from nor of him — my only brother — or of his suffering wife.* 
If the sad tidings seemed almost too much for me to bear, what 
shall I say of this suspense of three months ? It is impossible to 
describe the peculiar distress of such intelligence to one at such a 
distance. The time that intervenes between the writing and the 
reception of such letters, has either removed or increased the afflic- 
tion of the loved friend. Thoughts of sorrow, that we know not 
of, or, knowing, could not have soothed, torment the imagination. 
Then I understood something of H. Martyn's feelings on the 
intelligence of his sister's death. Each mail I have hoped for a 
letter, and have received none. Other friends have not yet 
learned to write me, and no tidings of loved ones by any means 
reach me. Thus far God has graciously sustained my faith. I 
know I shall see, one day, that it is all right, and wisely ordered. 
But now, in the dark time, faith must be my lamp. The trial is, 
however, becoming more and more severe, " as hope deferred 
maketh the heart sick ; " and God may have in store for me afflic- 
tions more bitter than my sad fears ; and all this may be in an- 
swer to my oft-repeated prayer, that I may be fitted for my work 
as a missionary. God only knows, and He is my covenant God 
— nay, my tender Father ; and He who trod the path of a pain- 
ful life is touched with my infirmities. He knows my tempta- 
tions and my sorrows, and " My grace is sufficient for thee " is a 
supply promised for the extremest need. But words cannot ex- 
press (I speak in sober truth) my sense of weakness. "Father, 
if it be possible, let this cup pass from me," is my cry : hitherto 
I have been able to add, " Not my will, but Thine be done." 
What is before me, I know not ; only let me have a constant re- 
membrance in the prayers of friends, that " as my day is, my 
strength shall be ; " that afflictions may be greatly sanctified ; that 
my faith and love may be increased. My assistance here, feeble 
as it seems to have been, is greatly needed ; for Miss Jones was 

[* My letters to her were delayed on the way.] 



110 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

utterly exhausted, and very soon was obliged to relinquish her 
duty in school. It is a great comfort to feel I was so soon of use. 
And while you remember your missionary, entreat for the 
descent of gracious influences upon the school, that the power and 
grace of the Redeemer may be manifest in the conversion of 
many. Give my best love to Mrs. G. ; kind remembrances to 
other friends, and to your own family ; and believe me, dear sir, 
yours, with regard, Caroline P. Tenney. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Dec. 22, 1850—10 o'clock p. m. 

My dear Mrs. Gordon : The December mail, by which I 
sent a letter to Dr. Lewis, has just left Shanghai. As I have 
determined my next shall be to you, I feel like commencing early, 
that I may write a longer letter, and am disposed to pen a few 
words to-night. 

With you it is now the morning of the Sabbath, and the bells, 
perhaps, are ringing to call the happy children of America to the 
Sunday school. The scenes of a Christian land, the associations 
which the return of this season (I mean the approaching Christ- 
mas) brings, all fill your minds with happy thoughts. But I know 
you do not forget your friend in a far-distant and heathen land ; 
and this hour, too, I know you are remembering me before " our 
Father." I do not forget that hour, or the place where " believ- 
ers " can hold communion. I take great satisfaction in the fact 
that there are some who truly and regularly give me, and the 
great work to which I have put my hand, a place in their prayers. 
And will God hear ? will He answer and bless ? The condescen- 
sion to such as we are appears incredible ; but to us it is given 
thus to believe, and to " rejoice with joy unspeakable." Human 
language is exhausted in the expression of His willingness, in the 
largeness of His promises. It were sin to doubt. We may, then 
— we must come boldly to a throne of grace. 

A position in a heathen land gives one to realize more vividly 
the alienation of man from God, and from the love of truth and 
righteousness, and the awful misery entailed upon all sin. Human 
instrumentalities, were they even now and here multiplied a thou- 
sandfold, seem as nothing compared with the hosts of evil. The 
missionary would indeed be crushed by a sense of the greatness 
of his undertaking, could he not say, " Our help is in the name of 
the Lord, who made heaven and earth." He can remember that, 
in the ordering of Providence, the " host of Midian " were given 
to the three hundred men ; that the walls of Jericho were pros- 
trated by the breaking of pitchers and the blowing of trumpets ; 



MISSIONARY LIFE. Ill 

and innumerable illustrations of the Scripture, u Lord, it is noth- 
ing with Thee to help, whether with many, or with them that 
have no power." * * * 

That which now appears to me of unspeakable importance, is 
to understand and to learn to offer the " effectual prayer, which 
availeth much." With this I desire to begin, to continue, to end 
all my labors. But I am convinced, from my own experience and 
from that of many Christian friends, and from the lukewarmness 
of the church compared with what Christ and a suffering world 
demands, that we are prone to live so much " by sight," that the 
prayer of lively faith is no common attainment. I am sure I shall 
be a poor, useless missionary without something of this power ; 
and there is no subject about which I have so often meditated in 
the last few months. 

From peculiar circumstances, I am indeed a " stranger in the 
earth," and almost entirely unknown in Brooklyn. But there are 
few who value more highly the social principle in religious things 
than I do ; and therefore I shall be greatly strengthened, if there 
are some at home whose hearts and prayers are with me here for 
" my work's sake." To such, as united in Christ even in the best 
of bonds, I would say, " "We can help one another in our duty." 
See how St. Paul depended upon the prayers of others ! See 
how he exercised the social principle in all his letters — " comfort," 
"edify" each other, "rejoice together," " admonish each other," 
u provoke each other to good works." I could wish, my dear Mrs. 
Gordon, that I had an opportunity of attending your little " circle 
of prayer," of becoming more acquainted with the ladies of the 
Church of the Holy Trinity. For a moment, let me imagine 
myself among you. We are a band of sisters, children of one 
Father, even God ; devoted to one Lord, who condescends to call 
Himself our " elder Brother." We love our Father, we love the 
Brother who " tasted death " for our sake. Together we sit down 
to speak of that love to us which passeth knowledge, and to seek 
how we may manifest the gratitude and devotion of our hearts. 
One of us proposes to go out among those who deny and hate our 
Father ; to leave many things that are precious, and to go alone 
upon her Father's business. And we all begin to feel that we 
have all failed in devotion to our Father in the several spheres of 
duty to which He has called us. We determine to set out anew. 
We need many helps, new strength. Some of the Christian 
armor, perhaps, has fallen into disuse with us. We need provis- 
ion, wisdom, patience, love. We want hope and joy to accom- 
pany us ; indeed, we are poor and miserable, and in want of all 
things ; but our Father will bestow abundantly upon those who 
ask Him. And now, what is the key that will give us the means 



112 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

of victory over all enemies, and alone will enable us to be faithful 
while we are upon earth, till we go to meet our Father in the 
home above ? Where is the key ? We have a letter from our 
Father, even the Bible. We joyfully turn to it, and do we not 
find prayer to be the key ? " Ask, and ye shall receive." Ask 
what ye will, and it shall be done for you, " that the Father may 
be glorified in the Son." Surely God will glorify His Son. He 
will therefore hear our requests, which seek His glory. We may 
not see the answer ; but the word is faithful and sure, that God 
does hear prayer. But then, we say, perhaps our Father tells us 
more particularly how we may use this key, so that the door may 
be to us an open one. We read about those of the great family 
of God with whom He was well pleased, and who have gone to 
their reward. How was it with him who was honored with the 
title, " friend of God " and " father of the faithful," from whom 
God "hid not the thing which he would do unto Sodom? " Was 
not his prayer heard ? How was it with him who wrestled till he 
was worthy to be called u Israel/' because as a prince he did pre- 
vail with God ? How was it with Moses, when God had even 
determined to blot the rebellious people from His book ? How 
did Moses plead ? How did Elijah and Daniel pray ? And shall 
not they who live under a Christian dispensation be as privileged 
as the saints of old ? If miracles are not now needed, yet is not 
prayer as really effective with God ? Since we know so well who 
intercedes for us, shall we not come as near the throne as they 
did ? Ah ! have we the holy ambition of those holy men of old 
— their whole-hearted consecration to our God ? Do not our own 
hearts condemn us, and take away our confidence ? Is our heart 
perfect with the Lord, to do all His will, regarding all things else 
as secondary and subordinate ? 

I have imagined, my dear friend, that we were thus together 
studying anew our Father's wiD, and desiring to learn of those 
who have received testimony that they " pleased God." I have 
written more at length than I intended ; but I cannot cease with- 
out one word of our Savior, the " great Example." His life was 
a prayer, for His meat and drink was to do and suffer His Father's 
will. If we follow Him in this, it will cost a painful baptism ; it 
will cost self-denial and conflict. But what more can we learn of 
His prayer ? The burden of souls and of duty was upon Him. 
Have we so far entered into a " fellowship with His sufferings ? " 
Have we so far received His baptism, that we are taught to say 
with Him, " Now is my soul troubled ? " He needed to continue 
all night in prayer. Have we learned anything of that largeness 
and earnestness of desire? Even Paul could say, "I have con- 
tinual sorrow and heaviness of heart." Have we no reason for a 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 113 

like sorrow ? Thus studying the word of our Father, we find we 
are not skilled in the use of the key, because we do not care 
enough about the treasury it may open to seek with every power 
to understand the use of it. But we find we can do very little in 
such ignorance. We can do nothing without the key. With it, 
and with skill in its use, we can do wonders. * * * 

Remember me to Mrs. Clibborn and Mrs. Nicholson, and to 
the ladies of the Church of the Holy Trinity — to Dr. Lewis and 
family in particular. My kind remembrances to Mr. Gordon, and 
the children. Believe me most affectionately yours, 

Caroline P. Tenney. 



TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Jan. 1, 1851. 

My dear Brother : This day is observed in Shanghai much 
as it is observed in New York city. Calls are made and received, 
salutations exchanged, and wishes of happiness duly expressed. 
But I have come to my room, locked the door, spread your letter 
before me, and addressed myself to the task of writing my only 
brother. There is, notwithstanding, much that I could say, much 
that I long to hear ; but the distance that separates us, and the 
time that will have intervened between the writing of yours, now 
before me, and the receiving of this letter, restrains my pen, lest 
I should selfishly lengthen or revive an anguish which I have no 
power to soothe. * * * Last Sunday afternoon the suspense 
was removed ; the sweet sufferer had entered into rest. She, who 
cherished for me a sister's love, a mother's patience; she, the 
friend of early days, with whom alone (with the exception of 
Mary P.) I could return to the past — she has gone. None will 
love me as she did. But these thoughts of tender sorrow were 
lost in grief for my brother and the little ones. Although we 
know that the tears of children are soon dried — that they do not 
return upon the heart and crush it — still there is a peculiar pity 
toward a bereaved child. That night knew no slumber ; and last 
night was filled with dreams, and I saw, as of yore, the gentle, 
cheerful one. I felt that I could never look at one line of hers ; 
but this morning I felt that I must refer to her and your letter, 
written last New Year. The spirit of it strengthened me, and I 
sat down to write. There are many encouragements to hope and 
faith ; but, were it not so, I am shut up to them. I am deter- 
mined that I will honor God by believing that He will bless you 
abundantly even now, according to the days in which you have 
seen affliction. 



114: MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 



TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, Jan. 2, 1851. 

My dearest Mary : * * * I must not delay to notice a 
portion of your letter, which, from its subject, and from the view 
you had of it, caused no little pain. In justice to myself, and to 
you, I ought to notice it. It is with an effort that I bring myself 
to that sad passage in my life's checkered book. But it will be 
better to throw it off my mind as much as possible, by throwing 
it on paper. 

It seems to have pained you that I came to China so cheer- 
fully, nay, so M unconcernedly." "Will it remove that pain, to 
know that I have suffered, and how much, and that I suffer still, 
and that I expect to suffer — for are we not called to a fellowship 
in Christ's sufferings ? Many years of hope deferred, of dreary 
loneliness, had I known ; and, when life's fondest dream was dis- 
pelled, I awoke to a new world. I felt that life was all changed 
to me. I sought to understand the lessons God had been giving 
me, and, asking, " Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do ? " I felt 
that I was called on to endure hardness — to give up my strength 
to labor and to suffer. Any one can labor in a pleasant field ; but 
few hasten to the dark and destitute portions of the vineyard. 
Our mission in China had long been suffering, and the last remain- 
ing female laborer was fast sinking under her accumulated labors. 
Some one should go, and go quickly. I could not think without 
pain of leaving my brother, as it were, sisterless. Never could I 
then, nor can I now, think of living a stranger to dear little Isa- 
bel, without burning tears ; and, not least, it was no easy thing to 
part from her whose tenderness for me combined the friend, the 
sister, and the mother. I have lain awake whole nights to think 
of it ; and the thought often came like a weight of lead upon my 
heart, so that I would feel weak, or as one falling from a preci- 
pice to a bottomless abyss. I have often left the table, unable to 
eat. But there were other thoughts too. For what was I re- 
deemed ? " He who loveth father or mother more than me, is 
not worthy of me." In China were immortal beings, ignorant of 
that religion which alone has power to save men from the domin- 
ion of sin. Is the Bible true ? Is the soul of inestimable value ? 
Are the rewards of eternity real ? Men can part from the wives 
of their bosom, and go to distant lands ; men of science can en- 
danger life on the burning sands of tropical climes ; tender woman 
can follow a husband round the world ; and could not I, in a cause 
worth more than all the gold of California, for a reward real, im- 
mense, and eternal, for the sake of One who is more than brother, 
lover, or husband — could not I, who owed my own salvation and 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 115 

precious hopes to Him, take up the cross, leave all, and help to 
spread the good tidings of great joy which shall be unto all peo» 
pie ? "Who so desolate, who so orphaned, who so needy of sym- 
pathy, pity, and love, as they who have no hope in such a God 
and Savior as ours ? They practise all iniquity with greediness ; 
no hope in sorrow, and multitudes are poor with a poverty you 
never imagine. Some of these I, with others, could bless. Those 
I loved had some others to love them — had the comforts of life, 
the hopes and consolations of our religion. I felt called to these 
dark and cruel habitations. I could have wished to spend some 
time with dear ones, from whom I had been parted so long ; but 
the opportunity which occurred to leave for China would probably 
be the only one in a year, and I felt called to give up what was 
mostly a personal gratification. On visiting my brother, in the 
autumn of 1849, in Northfield, I felt full well how pleasant it 
would be to dwell with him, and rest, and be refreshed in the love 
of kindred. But I seemed to hear, " Arise, depart, for this is not 
your rest." I felt impelled to active effort somewhere. I could 
not be content with a life of ease. With all my plans, mission- 
ary thoughts mingled. Sister seemed delicate, but, as ever, cheer- 
ful, hopeful, busy, uncomplaining, and thought herself improving ; 
and Northfield promised a healthful, tranquil residence. 

After I had offered myself to the Board, I learned more of 
the really delicate state of sister's health, but, from her accounts, 
felt more hope than fear. I longed to stay one year more ; but, 
of all, this was the time of need in the mission. I then hoped to 
have remained till after June. When I saw you in Boston, I had 
passed through horrors, but then I was sustained by animating 
hopes. I purposely kept my mind as much as possible from the 
sadder view ; and, while looking at the " things unseen and eter- 
nal," I was victorious over weakness and fear. If one must meet 
an enemy or an evil, is it not well to do it as bravely and cheer- 
fully as possible ? Many times, yea, always, have I parted from 
friends and brother without a tear ; but they who went on the way 
with me could have told of subsequent weeping. When I arrived at 
my brother's to say adieu, sister had just contracted a cold, which 
grew more serious and troublesome. None of us spoke of " feelings," 
or much of the future. Our hearts were too full. I would go out of 
the room, weep, wash my eyes, and return cheerfully to busy my- 
self for sister. Some sorrows — passing sorrows, light sorrows — 
can bear words ; but neither I, nor any of us, dared to dwell on a 
separation. I was to leave on Monday morning. At dusk on 
Sunday night, as we were all sitting in sister's room, the silence 
was awfully broken by a passionate and hysteric burst of weeping 
on her part, and I hastened from the room. What agony I felt is 



116 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

known only to God ; the anguish she felt has long since ceased in 
that world where there is no more weeping. "When I returned to 
the room, little Bel, in wonder, asked the reason of such sorrow, 
and added, " But that was not brave ! " All the day that little 
one had looked and acted unutterable love to her aunt. Ah, 
Mary, it was the thought of children in China as dear to God, 
and perishing without knowledge, that tore me from her. I never 
can think of her without tears. I never see a child without think- 
ing of her ; and I have often hastened away from the children 
here, to weep for Bel. In the night I was aroused by my bro- 
ther, saying that Kate was in great pain. The doctor came in, 
and in the morning she was better — that is, easier ; her cold still 
troubled her, and she was weak. When I returned to my room 
from hers, about three o'clock a. m., it was not to sleep ; and no 
pen can describe the sickening sensations as the minutes rolled on. 
I was to leave them ! Was I to meet them again ? True, I 
promised myself a return ; but the separation was awful to think 
of; it was here ; it stared me in the face ! No words passed be- 
tween us in the morning. I feared the excitement for her sake. 
I left her in bed. I" said " good-by." I turned away, leaving 
Bel in tears. My brother accompanied me to the cars. How 
often had I wished, during those troubled hours of the past night, 
for a voice from heaven to direct my course ! Once it was in my 
heart, and on my lips, to say, " I cannot go now ; I will stay." 
But I dared not say it ; I went away. Many things, which I 
cannot now explain, made me feel I must go on, or I should have 
returned after my arrival in New York city. From that city I 
wrote you ; but I did not say much of a scene and an anguish I 
could not bear to think of. Before leaving, I received cheering 
advices ; and they who saw my last look, as the ship left the har- 
bor, could say I was smiling ; they who went with me could say 
I was cheerful. But they did not enter into my closet, and see 
me as some accident would bring to notice a line of affection in 
my brother's hand, or his name, or Isabel's, or the thought of the 
sister I left in suffering. Sometimes I wept as though I could not 
stop ; and, though many blessings awaited my arrival at Hong 
Kong, and at this place, many are the tears that have watered my 
pillow. * * * • 

With great effort and constant, blinding tears I have written 
thus particularly. I have written of what concerns myself; but 
I could wish to write much of yourself, and will do so next mail, 
if possible. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 117 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Feb. 8, 1851. 

* * * If you received my letter written on board the 
"Tartar," you know that I accepted, in the main, those views of 
sanctification which are held by Upham, "Wesley, and others. 
And I still hold them. I cannot see otherwise. While I reject 
any view of the " perfectibility of human nature," or any notion 
which will not throw the soul more entirely upon Christ as our 
wisdom, justification, sanctification, whose blood it is, through faith, 
which cleanses from all sin, moment by moment purifying every 
thought ; while I disclaim, with increased earnestness, all idea of 
personal creature-merit, yet I must believe in this glorious doc- 
trine. When I doubt it, or relinquish it, or turn away from it, I 
lose half my hope and energy and delight ; the " chariot wheels 
drive heavily." I know that sin aboundeth, but that grace much 
more abounds. I know this is a " body of death ; " but, " I thank 
God through Jesus Christ," I know " this is the victorv that over- 
cometh, even our faith." 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, Feb. 15, 1851. 

My dear Mary : The last mail hence took a letter to you ; 
and I promised to write again, if I could find time. This is the 
last day of our short vacation, and I must fill a small sheet for you 
before it closes. 

I have written eighty-eight letters since I left America — all 
but twenty -two of them since I came to Shanghai, which was the 
2d of August. Of these, many were very long, containing each 
equal to three or four letters ; so that to call them, in all, one 
hundred, would by no means overstate the matter. Some ten or 
twelve have been to various ministers ; some of them necessarily 
carefully written, as a missionary's meaning is often misunder- 
stood, and thus perverted. The study of Chinese is very labori- 
ous, consuming a great deal of time and strength. I am in very 
good courage and health, weighing one hundred and forty -nine ! 
I have learned four hundred characters', and aim at a thousand in 
the year, to be able to read, write, know the primitive and the 
phonetic element, and the tone. I hear you exclaim, u A Sisy- 
phus labor ! " No, but no easy task. In the mean time, what a 
vocabulary of words I must learn ! They say I am progressing 
grandly ; but it does seem slow enough to me. 



118 MEMOIR OF MES. KEITH. 

TO HER AUNT OSBORNE. 

Shanghai, Feb. 27, 1851. 

My dear "Aunt Alice : " I like to write to you sometimes, 
although I do not expect an answer from your own pen ; but it 
seems more like talking to you to write directly, than through 
another. Of course, I always suppose you all will see my letters, 
or, at least, know the contents thereof; and I love to think of 
that yet unbroken circle assembled under that roof where, in past 
days, I have received so much kindness. And then, my memory 
goes back to the time when I was a very little girl, when bitter 
cold made fine sleighing, and "Aunt Alice " would ride up to the 
door, all bundled in blankets and furs. Not that " Aunt Alice " 
was a "widow woman" — for "Uncle Osborne" came with her, and 
I liked him very much ; but " Aunt Alice " was so like my 
mother. And how queer it was, that, after that visit, when you 
romped with me on the snowcrust, I said, " If I hadn't any 
mother, I would rather live with "Aunt Alice!" Oh, how I 
wish I could see her now ! You wi]l not wonder that I should 
have recurred to so distant a past ; it is all I have to dwell upon. 
As to friends, the present has no intercourse to feed thought ; 
the future it is no use to think of, except as it stretches to that 
future beyond the grave. A few days more, and it will be twelve 
years since I arrived at your house to sojourn ; and what a pil- 
grimage I have led since 1 And here I am in China ! — The ship 
" Celestial leaves, in a few days, for America ; and I cannot let 
it go without taking to you, my dear aunt, and friends, such token 
of affectionate remembrance as a letter can convey. Lest any of 
my letters should miss you, let me here say, that, in the seven 
months I have been here, I have sent to Danvers, for you, four 
letters, and one to Charlotte. I have had a very busy life, too ; 
so you see I have not neglected or forgotten you. I think of you 
just as often, probably oftener, than when I was in Virginia ; and 
I do not wish you to think of me as so far off that it is no use to 
send many thoughts after me, or to suppose that, because I left 
country and friends, they are less dear. No, the contrary is the 
case ; and daily do I remember you in my most sacred hours. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, May 3, 1851. 

My dear Mrs. Gordon: The mail arrived here 1st inst. ; 
and last night, at nine o'clock, we were informed that it would 
leave at four p. m. to-day. It is Saturday — a day of extra cares 
— and I shall not be able, I fear, to fill even this little sheet. We 
are glad to hear of the appointment of other laborers. Oh, that 



MISSIONARY LITE. 119 

they, and more also, might hasten hither ere the first laborers be 
quite spent ! Some hundred dollars came this mail for the enter- 
prise of the girls' school ; and the land can be bought, which is 
something. How greatly the girls' school is needed ! If, in one 
year from this time, it could be finished ! I rejoice that you feel 
so much interest for this particular object. It surely is one that 
commends itself to the heart of woman. It was that which 
moved Miss Jones to come hither ; and the hope of doing some- 
thing for heathen women first stirred my own soul. At first, only 
one foreign teacher will be needed, as the girls will not be taught 

English at all ; so that Miss and myself will continue, 

perhaps, several years in the boys' school. After that, the Bishop 
will place us where he thinks best for the greatest good of the 
greatest number. I have an idea I shall be kept in the boys' 
school ; and, although I should love dearly to labor at Miss 
Jones's right hand, and to labor for girls, yet, if it seems best 
otherwise, I cheerfully submit. The work is all one, and, if so 
be the girls are cared for, I can rejoice. But I always shall do 
all I can for them, by letters and otherwise, and hope my friends, 
for my sake, will not forget the girls' school. 

TO THE SAME. 

Shanghai, May 5, 1851. 

My dear Mes. Gordon : After having hurriedly prepared 
one despatch for the mail, we received a message that it would not 
leave till late on Tuesday ; and as to-day happens to be the boys' 
monthly holiday, we have a fine opportunity to multiply letters. 
I gladly improve it — the more gladly that, in the mean time, I 
have had the pleasure of receiving the expected letter from you 
dated February 4th ; and I must thank you once more on paper, 
as I do constantly in my heart, that you have written so fre» 
quently. Do not disappoint the hopes you have already excited 
— viz., that you will be my most faithful correspondent. Let me 
warn you, and all my kind friends at home, against cherishing this 
idea : " My letters will be of little consequence to her ; I am sure 
I can tell her nothing of interest." Let each one remember how 
they have welcomed letters when far away, though not so far 
away as China ; and the voice of an acquaintance, or a fellow 
townsman, how cheering, though previously there was no friend- 
ship in particular ! Indeed, it would be difficult to describe or 
exaggerate the satisfaction we take in letters. Why should it not 
be so ? Consider how entirely we depend upon friends at home 
for support and sympathy, and how greatly we believe our work 
can be prospered by the prayers of those at a world-wide distance 
in space, but whose petitions meet with ours at the Father's mercy 



120 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

seat. For my own part, I have to be very grateful that my 
church friends, whom I knew so little, have hitherto been very 
kind and faithful as correspondents. And I wonder, also, as I 
read their letters, what I can have written to interest them so 
much. * * * 

They who labor for the girls will have much more anxiety 
and trouble than will be found in any other field of labor in 
China ; yet, with all its toil and discouragements, it must be un- 
dertaken. The minds of the women — that is to say, certainly of 
the class seen by missionaries — seem distressingly vacant and 
frivolous and impure. The most promising ones have sorely 
wounded the hearts of those who had toiled and prayed and 
hoped in their behalf. In the first place, it is difficult to find a 
mind, and still another difficulty to touch the heart and moral 
sense. We usually suppose that, in the early times of missions 
in the days of the apostles, women were among the first, the 
brightest, and most enduring witnesses and lovers of Jesus. But 
be the prospect ever so discouraging in China, yet it does seem to 
me, humanly calculating, that the gospel will not be widely dif- 
fused in China till there are Christian mothers — and these Chris- 
tian mothers trained up by Christian missionaries. It is impossi- 
ble to convey to the mind of a Christian at home how strongly 
the prejudices and customs of heathenism bind the soul. They 
are, in China, slaves to custom ; it is their conscience. I see it 
and feel it myself by degrees. Let me give you an instance. A 
female servant of Mr. Syle has for some time been a communicant 
of the church, and seemed very sincere and earnest ; and, at the 
time of her husband's death, must have encountered some odium 
on account of her refusal to join in the heathen rites (though one 
woman, who has since fallen into open sin, endured much, and 
many beatings from her husband, rather than to worship ances- 
tors). A daughter of this servant of Mrs. Syle came to live with 
me, professing a desire to be instructed in the true doctrine. She 
was instructed, but gave no signs of true interest in the subject. 
Shortly she was found to have committed such deeds as are not 
only sinful in our eyes, but grievous transgressions against the 
customs of this country. According to their rules, it was the 
duty of the mother to put the daughter to death ; but, being a 
Christian, she could not. Deeply mortified and distressed as she 
was, I have no doubt but that, for her knowledge of religion, and, 
as we hope, a saving though limited knowledge of it, she would 
have killed herself also. As it was, she wished she was dead, and 
advised her daughter to kill herself. What was our dismay, one 
night, to hear that my servant had strangled herself ! We rushed 
to her room, and saw her on the bed, having tied her girdle around 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 121 

her neck tightly. She was almost gone, but was saved. Her 
mother said she wished she had died. The old woman was 
brought to a better mind ; but the girl gives little promise of 
amendment. Weak, feeble, ignorant, the trials of a new convert 
are greater than Christians ever meet at home. To us they seem 
the merest babes ; but perhaps our omniscient Judge weighs 
with a different balance. 

I have frequently alluded to one of our pupils, who went home 
on account of the sickness of his father, who, before his arrival, 
died. We felt very anxious about him, not knowing what trials, 
or even persecutions, might befall him. After he had been gone 
many weeks, Chai, the one soon to be ordained deacon, and an- 
other baptized Chinese (the married one) went for him to Sou- 
Chow, several days' journey. They all came back together ; and 
Choo Kiung, the lad whose father died, told us his story with 
many tears ; and Chinese men are not easily brought to tears. It 
seems, when he arrived at home, he first knew that his father was 
dead. He was very tired, and his mother was glad to see him. 
The next day she took him into the room where the coflin was, 
that he might worship his deceased father. He told her that he 
could not ; that he worshipped only one Being, the true God. 
She was very angry with him, talked a long time, and said many 
things. He was the only son, the one upon whom it especially 
devolved to honor his deceased parent. She then tried to induce 
him to burn the silver paper ; but he told her he could not. She 
became so angry with him that she would not speak to him ; and 
he left (perhaps was obliged to leave) the house, and stayed ten 
days somewhere else. Trouble, and a cold contracted on his jour- 
ney, made him fairly sick, and he had a fever. Once, he said, he 
thought he "must give up," and worship his father; but he 
thought he would pray, and then he felt strengthened. After- 
ward his mother was a little pacified, and he returned to the house. 
When the day came for removing the coffin from the house, he 
was again entreated to do the accustomed and important honors. 
He refused ; he could not. Then she entreated him to at least 
perform that part which consists in walking before the coffin and 
burning incense, or the silver paper ; but he could not. When at 
the place, he was expected to kneel down by the coffin ; but that 
is not considered worship, since at that time and place the son is 
considered unworthy to worship, and another does it. He then 
knelt down by the coffin. Afterward, when the tablet was put 
up, he was again entreated to worship, or, at least, to burn in- 
cense ; but he persisted in refusing. His friends said he was 
mad ; that his heart was turned upside down. His mother be- 
came somewhat softened toward him, but still felt keenly the 
6 



122 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

trouble and disgrace he had brought upon her. When he re 
turned to us, he looked pale and worn, and was often seen in tears. 
He appears more and more interested, and still looks forward to 
the holy ministry. 

And now, my dear Mrs. Gordon, who of us — who of you — 
was ever subjected to such a trial as this ? Think of him — alone, 
with not one Christian friend to strengthen him by a consenting 
faith, surrounded by heathen, beset by a mother's tears and impre- 
cations, subject to the reproach of his acquaintances as an unduti- 
ful child, as disregarding " customs " — that high law in China ! 
Think of him ; imagine, if you can, the difficulty of holding his 
faith, of living by faith, of confessing his faith ! Ah, may we 
not fear that many, who now deem themselves good Christians at 
home, would fall before such a trial ? Let us try duly to appre- 
ciate the difficulties that here beset the convert. The worship of 
their gods is not very near their heart ; but that of their ances- 
tors takes hold of their best feelings. The followers of Confucius 
worship him once a year ; and he teaches to fear the gods, but to 
have as little to do with them as possible. And, indeed, they say 
there is little need for a good man to worship the gods ; it is the 
bad who need to do it ! Love, you perceive, can be no element 
of heathen worship. " "Who is a God like unto our God ? " is 
often in my memory. The Buddhists hire priests to say mass for 
the dead, and in time of trouble ; but these priests are despised 
by the very people. You meet these priests ; you are at once 
struck by their abject, fawning air. Their heads are entirely 
shaven, and they are as filthy as they are idle. Pass through the 
city ; you see some temples open, and candles lighted, and some 
priests kneeling, muttering, and knocking with a stick constantly 
to attract the gods' attention. The gods have no place, you see, 
in the people's affection ; their ancestors have, and here is the 
stronghold of the great adversary in China. But I must break 
off. I fear I shall weary some of you by my long letters. 

Kemember me affectionately to Dr. Lewis and family, to Mrs. 
Fuller, Willard, Eapelye, Clibborn, Nicholson, Pierrepont, Bar- 
tow, and any others whose faces I can remember, perhaps, better 
than their names. I hear the Bishop coming for me to go with 
him to monthly concert ; so good-by. I do not forget the hours 
of prayer you speak of — nine o'clock a. m. Sunday ; ten and a 
half p. m. with me. Your missionary circle meet when I 
am asleep. My thanks for all your kindness to me ; and remem- 
ber me to Mr. Gordon, gratefully, for his kindness. Adieu. 
Yours ever, 

C. P. T. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 123 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, May 6, 1851. 

* * * Reckoning all the Episcopal missionaries, and reck- 
oning me (as was somehow done) from Kentucky, we are all 
Southerners, and the majority from Virginia. Our winter was 
pleasant, but from the middle of February till now there has been 
incessant rain. I am still sitting with two shawls on. The damp- 
ness of this place is wonderful ; paper becomes, in a short time, 
unfit for writing. Straw matting is spoiled by mildew ; the chairs 
and tables, unless constantly rubbed, contract a rich coat of downy 
mould ; metals rust at once ; and books, alas ! their covers cannot 
be preserved nicely. As there is not a hill to be seen, and none 
to be found within forty miles, you may judge people know some- 
thing of the ague here. To sleep in a lower room is almost cer- 
tain to induce it. But, with care, I hope to avoid any serious 
attack of it. 

I continue to find my work and studies, and the society of bur 
mission, as pleasant as ever. My health and spirits never were 
better. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, May 13, 1851. 

* * * Entering, as I do, upon the sober thirties, how can 
I but revert to the long past? * * * Here, my thirtieth 
birthday is my first in a heathen land. Shall I not say that this 
birthday is the happiest of my life ? Certainly, in some senses it 
is. So far as a consciousness of sincere devotion to the service of 
God, earnest effort for the good of others, and a confiding trust go 
toward happiness, then I am happy. My anxiety for you and 
yours is the only weight. * * * 

The care of the school just now devolves upon me. You may 
imagine I feel such heavy, such new responsibilities. Think of 
me, going over the dormitories of a morning to see that all is 
straight, and at night to see that all is quiet, administering medi- 
cine, redressing grievances, giving orders to servants after a stam- 
mering tongue, teaching, studying ! How impossible it looked to 
me, when I first came, to fill the place I now do ! Saturdays I 
go into the dormitories, clothes room, see to the giving out of four 
or five pieces each to fifty boys. After Miss Jones returns, this 
will still be left to me, as her attention is now given to the girls. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, July 21, 1851. 

My dear Mary : Your long, affectionate, and welcome letter 
of February 14th was received in May, and I have not willingly 



124 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

been your debtor for so many weeks. But your questions and 
difficulties concerning missions suggested to my mind so much that 
could be said, and so much that I desired to say, and which I could 
not well say at hurried intervals, that I have waited for a leisure 
afternoon. To-day the thermometer is about ninety-eight degrees 
(and has been nearly as high for more than a week past). My 
Chinese teacher has failed to make his appearance ; so with a 
good conscience I think I may turn from study to the lighter and 
more agreeable occupation of letter writing. Passing by much 
that was interesting in your letter, and to which I would like more 
or less briefly to allude, let me at once refer to the subject nearest 
my heart, and give you some of my views of a missionary's work 
and duty ; and, so far as I know, these views are coincident with 
those of u older laborers," Let me assure you, my dear Mary, at 
first, that you have dust in your eyes — that you also wear magni- 
fying glasses. I shall try to remove both, as I may be able. 
You begin your inquiries and observations, as I think, from the 
wrong point. Your first question, should it not be, " Where and 
what is the authority and obligation for missions to the heathen ? " 
Then may follow the inquiry, what Christian missions have done 
for the world. Not that the latter question is deferred as fearing 
the answer — for that answer forms a chapter, and a glorious chap- 
ter, in the history of a sin-darkened world — but because truths 
carry more weight when kept in their legitimate positions. And 
it is in reading this chapter that I wish you to throw away your 
magnifying glasses, and turn away from such as unfairly illumine 
or unfairly shade the page. Your letter contains several general 
statements as to missionaries and their work, which, of course, I 
can only reply to briefly and in general — namely, " cheating," 
"laziness," "luxury," " uselessness," and "worse than useless." 
It may be true that a " missionary in Oregon tricked and cheat- 
ed," as you were told ; and I have no doubt that there have been 
and are mercenary missionaries, even as there are everywhere 
false professors and hypocritical pretenders to goodness. But that 
does not astonish me so much as that one of twelve men should 
be incapable of loving, and should be so vile as to betray and sell 
his Master — such a Master as Jesus ! And He " who knew the 
thoughts of men," chose twelve, and one had a devil ! Were the 
remaining eleven less truly noble and true men — the apostles and 
martyrs, by whom the blessed light and truth was diffused over 
the world ? To judge a missionary as necessarily " hero and 
martyr," or to go to the other extreme, and distrust most of them 
as "corrupt," "useless," or "worse than useless," is to follow a 
rule of judging not found in Holy Writ. As to luxury, the word 
depends so much for its significance upon the standard in the mind 



MISSIONARY LITE. 125 

of the observer, that it is almost useless to reply to the charge in 
general terms. A foreign and unhealthy climate (especially if 
one is laborious) often requires as necessary that which may seem 
to some at home as a luxury ; and those are matters which in can* 
dor and confidence must be left to the missionaries as to conscien- 
tious men. But it does not seem to enter the minds of many good 
Christian people (under their own vine and fig tree) to ask, 
while estimating the amount of self-denial they think right and 
beautiful in a missionary, " And why am I not called to equal, if 
not the same, self-denial ? If his raiment and his fare be coarse, 
his labor hard and incessant, why not mine ? Is not mine the 
privilege and duty, too ? " " Laziness " is also a general term ; 
and that a hot climate greatly lessens energy, and the ability to 
do as much as in America and England, you can imagine, but you 
cannot fully understand. And they who do not know the nature 
of a missionary's work, and who are little with him, may charge 
him with laziness, and say, " Show me what you have done." 
There is an amount of relaxation, also, absolutely necessary in 
even such a northern latitude as this, which I did not believe till 
I learned by experience. This also, it seems to me, must be left 
to the missionaries themselves. If they are men of character for 
integrity before they leave home, that is the only guarantee that 
should be required. I will just allude here to one point not much 
dwelt upon by you, except under the head of " troops of ser- 
vants." M Missionaries' wives " are not seldom thought deficient 
in energy and industry, if not positively "lazy," by some, because 
not always in the kitchen ; by others, because not always at their 
studies. Indeed, it would seem that they should be in both places 
at once and all the time ! As the least of what is expected of 
them, the examples of " ministers' wives at home " are cited ! 
Now, it should be remembered that not one half of the ministers* 
wives at home have the health or the peculiar gifts fitting them 
for continuous and successful parish labor. Those who have 
strength, leisure, and will to labor among the people, do it, in a 
great degree, by means of " circles," " societies," and so forth. 
They have not the foreign and debilitating climate, and, more 
than all, the inexpressibly depressing difficulties of an unknown 
language and a stammering tongue ! Then, too, there is such 
division of business among people at home, such conveniences as 
make housekeeping much less troublesome. The constant en- 
deavor to cheat by the heathen (though only what one would 
expect), forms no small care and trial in managing housekeeping 
in heathendom ; and then, too, the teaching of stupid and indolent 
servants, three of whom are not equal to one in New England. 
Missionary bands, too, are generally small, and each one, so far as 



126 MEMOIR OF MKS. KEITH. 

my experience and observation serve me, has a specific round of 
duty to attend to ; and when a child or a husband falls sick, where 
are the kind neighbors in abundance who can hasten to watch with 
the sick and relieve the anxious mother ? And then, children 
demand threefold more of her time than at home. She cannot 
leave them much with servants without moral ruin ; or, if she 
could, who shall train and develop their minds ? Where are the 
Sunday schools, the day school, the variety of playmates and 
amusements? where the variety of incident (unconnected with 
heathen) ? where all those influences that, in Christendom, go so 
far toward the best training of children ? I cannot help asking 
you to turn to Foster in his essays on the " Romantic," and notice 
what he says as to direct instruction, and the influence of circum- 
stances and indirect influences. How he shows the weakness and 
inefficiency of mere direct teaching, when the influence of circum- 
stances is malignant ! Now, the Christian mother in a heathen 
land must give herself almost entirely to her children, if she would 
not neglect her first duty. There are many ways in which the 
married female missionary may be serving her Master's cause as 
to the heathen ; but, without remarkable strength of body and 
activity of mind, I cannot think much direct effort among the hea- 
then should be expected or required. One person cannot do 
everything ; the strength will not hold out. As to missions hav- 
ing " done no good in the Sandwich Islands " ! If you can read 
the account of what those isles, and those of the South Sea, were 
thirty years or forty years ago, and what they are now, and feel 
that missions there have been useless, I should indeed be aston- 
ished and grieved. Their civilization may, indeed, still be rude, 
and their religious character imperfect ; but have they not now, 
at least, the germs of law, order, and religion, and of literature 
even ? Judging by some of St. Paul's epistles, were not the Co- 
rinthian Christians weak and imperfect? Judging by history, 
were not the best developments of Christian principle among the 
Britons, Saxons, and Gauls, what seems to us exceedingly rude ? 
Had you been a spectator of those ages, would you not have 
cried, " They might as well be heathen ! "Why this waste of 
effort ? " There is a common saying, " Rome was not built in a 
day ; " and are not spiritual results slower than physical ones ? 
Yet these are not unseen even now. And here I must be allowed 
to remind you of a fact that will not occur to you — namely, for- 
eign residents do know very little of what missionaries do, day by 
day, or of what is effected among the people. This is true in 
China — I doubt not, even more emphatically true in cities so gay 
and busy as Calcutta. There are many reasons for this, such as 
these : missionaries are busy and serious ; many residents gay and 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 127 

at leisure, and they feel no deep interest, therefore care not to ex- 
amine particularly as to what is done by missionaries. The mis- 
sionary code of morality has sometimes been too strict for the con- 
venience of some of those who come out to make haste to get 
rich, and to follow the laws of pleasure only. Is it not natural to 
hate those who witness and can testify of our evil deeds ? And 
what saith our Savior in His own case ? " The world hateth me 
because I testify of it, that the works thereof are evil." I wish 
I could impress upon you this fact of almost instinctive dislike 
to missionaries, and could also show you how unaccountable it is, 
except on scriptural explanations. "If ye were of the world, it 
would love you." Remember this fact when you listen to ac- 
counts of missionaries by worldly men. There are a few foreign 
residents who come out friends of missions, and remain such ; but 
many too easily give themselves to the material, worldly, selfish 
views of the majority. I say the majority ; for, admitting the 
Bible as test, how unspiritual the views of men at home also ! 
What is their estimate of the worth of a soul, of the true pur- 
pose of life, or of the reality of an eternity ? It is this state and 
tendency of mind that makes even the well-disposed residents 
(practical men of the world as they are) regard foreign mission- 
ary plans and labors as the dreams and efforts of enthusiasts. Let 
it once be granted that the Bible is God's truth ; that the souls 
of men were worth the labors, sufferings, and death of the Son of 
God ; and let it be confessed that Christianity has been a blessing 
to Christendom, and I am not able to see how one can consistently 
refuse that truth to the heathen — how one can rest in inaction, or 
admit a settled unbelief as to the faithfulness of God in vindica- 
ting His own truth in fulness of time, according to the " wisdom 
which is infinite." " The Lord is not slack concerning His prom- 
ise, though with Him a thousand years are as one day, and one 
day as a thousand years." We know that it is not by might or 
by power, but by the Spirit of God, that the hearts of men are to 
be subdued. Paul planted and Apollos watered in vain. Nay, 
did those words from the lips of our blessed Savior — words u such 
as never man spake " — did they effect all that we, in our weak 
judgment and imperfect knowledge of human depravity, could 
have expected ? Because He called and none answered, was He 
less the Son of God ? Were the truths He uttered less divine 
and heaven-inspired? But, according to views which you hold 
in peculiar prominence, it is no new or strange thing that moral 
and spiritual results should be slow. How is it in material, physi- 
cal things — are great results looked for except after much time as 
well as much labor ? When the sculptor of that world-renowned 
statue, the Apollo Belvidere, selected the quarry, hewed out the 



128 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

rough block of marble, broke off fragment after fragment of the 
shapeless mass, did they who stood by and watched his actions 
understand his design, and how every stroke tended to its accom- 
plishment ? When the men of Israel in the mountain forest felled 
the rough beam, and hewed the massy but then unpolished foun- 
dation stones, and prepared also the small but important fasten- 
ings of timber and rafter, could each workman, or they who 
watched him, see, or with any correctness calculate how much he 
individually was accomplishing toward the edifice which was to 
surpass his imagination ? Thus, dear Mary, I would reason con- 
cerning a work so great as that of " teaching all nations." Diffi- 
cult languages are to be acquired ; a literature is to be given to 
many nations who had none — a Christian literature for all. In- 
struction in arts, in such portions as the South Sea Isles and Afri- 
ca, is necessary. Science ! what is it in the most polished hea- 
then nations now known ? Worse than nothing ; for it is built 
upon falsehood. Sit down, and try to run the parallel between 
what is esteemed almost necessary in Christendom for the proper 
training of an immortal mind, and what exists in heathendom. 
True, to preach Christianity is the first thing ; but to your mind, 
how vast the number of ideas suggested by that word " Christian- 
ity " — by such words as " eternal life," " salvation " 1 Try to 
estimate, if you can, the amount of teaching necessary to convey 
the first principles of Christianity. And then, where are the in- 
valuable secondary influences that in Christian lands do more than 
the direct teaching ? But, though the instrumentality be feeble, 
though the work progresses slowly, and many imperfections yet 
mar its beauty, the temple to God's praise shall ari-se ; and when 
the Master-builder shall appear in His glory, " all the ends of the 
earth shall see His salvation." Yes, from the moral disorder and 
chaos which sin has wrought, God would reproduce His own 
" good " creation — in man, once more His own moral image ! In 
this once fair earth, now so long the scene of rebellion, hateful 
idolatries, and abominations, God would cause to be built a temple 
for perpetual worship. But this image, this temple, is a spiritual 
one ; and there are those who, seeing, see, but do not perceive ; 
and, hearing, do not understand. — I have been so many, many 
times interrupted, my dear Mary, since I began this, that I fear 
you will find what I have said repetitious and unconnected. I 
was going to say further, when you next hear an objector, ask 
him what he would deem it reasonable to expect, and press him 
for a definite answer ; and mark well if his objections and diffieul* 
ties do not have close connection with a secret scepticism as to 
what God has revealed, or what He has commanded. If the 
prophecies of Holy Scripture — if the command of the Redeemer 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 129 

of men — if the example of the apostles, are binding with your 
objector, then ask again what he can reasonably look for, and 
what allowances he would concede to the greatness of the obsta- 
cles in the work of a world's conversion. Is it said the work is 
hopeless? Why? On account of wickedness — inveterate de- 
pravity ! Ah, what a confession is that of the awful needs of the 
ignorant and the yet wilfully depraved heathen ! 

Other religions easily spread over the world, because they rest 
in the outward. Christianity only addresses the affections and 
purines the heart. But then, its diffusion is the most difficult, as 
it is the most important. But if the objection is the treachery or 
the weakness of heathen converts, turn to the epistle to the primi- 
tive churches, and see the sinfulness of the sins of many who had 
apostolic teaching ! What was the state of religion in the middle 
ages ? Yet there was life and power then ! Why is not Europe 
where Arabia is ? The Saracens were in the pride of their learn- 
ing and power when the Britons were rude, unpolished tribes. 
The latter were Christians — very imperfect, indeed, yet the leaven 
was there. The former were enemies of the true religion and its 
life-giving, soul-quickening principles ; and where and what are 
they now ? Thus, if, in heathen lands, now the mustard seed is 
very small, the seed has life, the tree shall anon flourish, and the 
birds of the air rest in its branches. But do you say, " There is 
no adequate return for the trouble — for the treasure expended " ? 
When you can certainly estimate the value of a soul, you may 
venture to make such an assertion ; when you can compute the 
value of our precious gospel, you may strike the balance, and de- 
termine as to adequate returns. When the apostle counted u all 
things but loss " — when the confessors brave death in its most 
fearful terrors — when the most tender ties have been sundered — 
not thus judged the "heroes and martyrs ! " If our religion be 
true, it is all-important to every soul. But perhaps the most 
plausible objection is one which, leaving the character and motives 
of the missionary as pure and high as his warmest friends could 
wish, conceding all that is claimed as to the truth and importance 
of Christianity and the value of the soul, and even admitting that 
" something " has been effected for good among the heathen, yet 
insists that, at present, it is duty to concentrate effort in " home 
mission " — (if you will investigate the question, you will find that 
the plan for " home benevolence " was begun after the foreign, 
and in consequence of the impulse to benevolent feeling. I mean 
ihe active and remarkable means which began to be used in the 
destitute portions of the vineyard at home about the commence- 
ment of this century. Now, this is such a crowded, ill-expanded, 
disconnected letter, that it will need a careful perusal ; but there 
C* 



130 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

are thoughts started which I beg you well to consider and follow 
out, and, if you wish, ask more questions), — that it is little short 
of sinful folly to turn thus away from the " heathen at home ! " 
As has been well said, " So might the church at Antioch have 
argued, when the Holy Ghost commanded them to send away 
Barnabas and Saul. So might the churches in Asia Minor have 
argued, when Paul was about to pass by them into Europe, the 
moral condition of their idolatrous lands being much worse than 
our " home fields." The comparative destitution is stated in 
figures thus : Population of the United States, twenty-two mil- 
lions ; ministers, twenty-six thousand. China, population three 
hundred and fifty or three hundred and sixty millions. United 
States, one minister to one thousand souls ; China, one minister 
to fifty million ! Our blessed Master, whose benevolence was 
" heaven- wide," said, "Go ye unto all the world." They who are 
redeemed with His precious blood are not their own ; they are 
not called to a life of ease ; and, though danger and difficulty and 
toil and pain and death be in the way, it must not tempt the true 
soldier to ask if there be not some easier field which at present 
would better be occupied. "When the call is to earthly conquest, 
men covet danger and combat and wounds, and call it " glory." 
When earthly treasure invites, men tear themselves from what the 
heart holds dearest, and crowd eagerly to contend for a portion. 
Shall the Christian be less a hero than the worldling ? Shall an 
incorruptible and sure treasure, because it is yet unseen by the eye 
of sense, be less worthy of the most earnest striving for ? — I fear 
I have long since wearied your patience, and must indeed check 
my pen. After alluding, as I have, to some of the circumstances 
attending missionary effort, and to the principles which sustain the 
missionary in his "work of faith," I meant to have added a few 
plain statistics, which, according to the common charity extended 
to statistics, demand some credit. But I must refer you to books, 
which I would beg you to read for my sake, did I not know that 
the love of truth will be all the motive you need to lead you to 
examine the subject. I know none more brief and to the point, 
and yet full and accurate, than such as the " Great Commission," 
by Harris, Malcolm's " Travels in Southeastern Asia ; " and I 
wish you would procure and read Williams's " Middle Kingdom " 
— it is the best work I know concerning China. Swan's " Let- 
ters on Missions " — a small work — is a standard, though I have 
not yet given myself the pleasure of reading it. As I have made 
my letter so long on a single subject, let me notice some ideas of 
yours contained in your last letter (of March 24th), and received 
since this was commenced. You speak as though you thought a 
missionary must (by virtue of his deep feeling and great sacrifice. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 131 

and so forth) become quite superior to the faults and passions of 
other Christians ! Now, having read that Paul " withstood Peter 
to the face," and seeing clearly that Peter deserved it, though he 
was Peter — remembering that Paul and Barnabas separated, " so 
sharp was the contention," I do not expect — I never dreamed — 
that a modern missionary would be, could be, or ought to be more 
holy and less faultless than Christians at home ! They may have 
strong faith, such as could remove mountains ; they may be will- 
ing to give their body to be burned, and to endure any peril or 
suffering ; to make every sacrifice and forego every pleasure ; but 
by and in all this, His Spirit is not necessarily " perfected in love." 
Would, indeed, that all missionaries — ay, and aJl Christians at 
home, living under the cherishing influences of Christendom — 
were able to say with the apostle, " Ye know how holily and un- 
blamably and unreproachably we behaved ourselves," and so 
forth. Though a missionary is, in an important sense, shut up to 
a life of prayer and faith and communion with God, yet there are 
difficulties, temptations, and retarding influences little known and 
less appreciated by those at home. I may, some day, allude to 
these, but will now only beg you to remember, for your comfort, 
that God has often condescended to bless mankind through the 
most unworthy instrumentality, and unholy men have been allowed 
to advance His cause. Search the book of revelation and provi- 
dence, and behold the striking and numerous instances of this. — 
And now, dearest Mary, I can add but a word more. For yours 
of March 1st, received, accept my warmest thanks. I will try to 
answer it fully in a month or two, by telling you much of myself. 
The " full tide of letters " did indeed arrive this week, and I am 
in receipt this mail, and by ship, of nineteen letters ; and there 
are yet more, I believe, in the " boxes " ! So long and affection- 
ate ! — the harvest I sowed in the " Tartar." How much good 
they did me ! I am well and happy, and loaded with mercies and 
favors. They are more than I can number ; but I will try to re- 
count some of them soon in another letter to my dear Mary. 
And is it well with thee ? Do not forget to become rich toward 
God ; and remember, you must " strive ; for many shall seek, and 
not be able " ! In warmest love, ever yours, 

C. P. Tenney. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, July 26, 1851. 

My dear Mrs. Gordon : Two mails ago I find I wrote you a 
" long letter j " and what a long, long letter I owe you now, if 
length could repay in any degree your abundant kindness ! Since 
writing you last, I have received from you numerous kind letters 



132 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

by the " Houqua," and two mail letters in March, and one May 
5th. How shall I thank you for your regular remembrance of 
me ? and how are words calmly traced on paper to convey the 
lively, grateful, and joyful emotions called into exercise by the 
arrival of the numerous proofs of kind and affectionate remem- 
brance among you? Where shall I begin to acknowledge the 
favors ? (To convey due thanks for them is out of my power.) 
I could never claim, I can never deserve, I can never repay all 
the thoughts and acts of kindness which have followed me to 
China. I should feel oppressed with the weight of obligation from 
my inability to make suitable return (not so much for the con- 
venient supply of many bodily wants — though for that I return 
my warm thanks — as for the love and prayers that are given me 
so constantly). But while, having desired, I rejoice in your gifts 
(see Philippians iv. 17, 18), I still more rejoice "that fruit shall 
abound to your account ; " for it is to my gracious Master, more 
than to myself, that this has been offered ; and " the cup of cold 
water shall in no wise lose its reward." To Mrs. Kapelye, Brush, 
Willard, Barlow, Wykoff, Fuller, Morse, Underhill, Thomas, Mis3 
Kinsey, and others, who have so kindly contributed to my com- 
fort, please make a suitable expression of my grateful feelings. 
A large proportion of the ladies I am able distinctly and person- 
ally to recall ; some of them I regret I am unable to remember. 
Everything by the " Houqua " has arrived in prime order. The 
" Nestorian " will probably arrive before next mail. How much 
obliged I am to Mr. Gordon for his kind and active interest in my 
behalf ! The rocking chair is a treasure ; and, without being more 
particular, every article suits me exactly. The carpet is very 
neat. I was intending to do without a carpet a year or two ; but 
you have anticipated my wants. For the syrup, expected in the 
" Nestorian," give my kind thanks to Mr. Gordon. Such things 
are the more valuable here, because, as we drink river water puri- 
fied by alum, the taste is not agreeable. This year ice is not to 
be had for love or money (the very little which was to be had 
being now exhausted), and we almost dread the remaining six or 
eight weeks of hot weather. You know that here we have no 
cool cellars. For the last two weeks there has been continual hot 
weather — the hottest I ever felt ; though I used to think Louis- 
ville, Ky., surpassed any place in the same latitude for heat. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM T. CUTTER. 

Shanghai, Aug. 2, 1851. 

* * * The assurance that my letters have been a means 
of good to you and yours, my dear friend, made my heart over- 



M 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 133 

flow with joy and gratitude ; for I saw " your heart yearned 
toward me in proud affection." You allude to " talents," and say 
" it should not make me proud to be told of them." If I know 
my own heart (for " the heart is deceitful above all things "), I 
am humbled to see I have been used as a means of doing good ; 
and if I have talents, oh, how ashamed and grieved I should be 
to remember how I have wasted them in years that are past and 
gone ! — yes, wasted and perverted them, following my own will as 
much as I could. I am afraid the devil will find some access to 
me, and, with fond speech and friendly tap, whisper in my ear, 
11 Thou hast done well ; thy gifts and graces shine in thy letters ; " 
but my conscience and my feelings, at present, keep me in mind 
that my place is in the dust. 

There were so many letters and presents for me in the " Hou- 
qua," and such warm breathings of affection, that, when I recov- 
ered from some of my excitement, the tears of gratitude would 
come and come — gratitude to friends, but, most of all, to God, for 
His abundant mercies. He led me by paths I knew not ; but He 
has at length " placed my feet in a large room." 

This is the anniversary of my arrival here. It has been a 
serious and somewhat sad day, as I reflected on my unprofitable- 
ness ; but a happy and good day in thinking of some of the ten 
thousand times ten thousand mercies of my God. Oh, what a 
varied year in my life ! What deep sorrows, and what supports ! 
I should love to sit beside you, and magnify His grace ; but, 
though we meet no more on earth, there will be time enough in 
heaven ; yes, and a language, too, worthy of the theme. 

My dear brother has been deeply afflicted. What a year of 
sorrow to him, from my departure till his little one's death, last 
March ! But all this is under the loving eye of " our Father in 
heaven," and " He doeth all things well." 

I sympathize with you, dear cousin, in all your trials, and re 
joice in all your welfare and prosperity. God knows what is best, 
and He gives us just what is necessary, just the discipline we 
need — to us the most trying because most needed. 

The weather here is intensely hot, but my health is better than 
in any summer I passed in America. A mind stayed on God is 
the secret of mental, and often of bodily health. Stay youra 
there, my dear friend, more and more, and your cares shall be 
light. Continue to pray for me. 

I must tell you what a joyful day we had yesterday. 'Twas 
the ordination of a deacon — the first Episcopal ordination (Prot- 
estant) that has ever taken place in China. Behold — may we 
not say ? — the star that precedes the dawn of a gospel daylight in 
this great empire ! 



134 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

We all left Shanghai early in the morning, accompanied by 
our fifty boys and eight girls. The first part of our way was in 
boats, and we passed through hundreds of junks, each containing 
many souls. You may imagine our desires were kindled anew for 
the coming of that day when Jesus " shall be known from sea to 
sea." Arrived at the landing, we foreigners took the sedans which 
met us there, while the boys found their way on foot through the 
city to the church. As we were rapidly borne along on the 
shoulders of men, every sight and sound of strangeness met our 
senses. You have seen pictures of long-tailed Chinamen, bare- 
headed or under enormous hats, bearing burdens, hawking mer- 
chandise, or pursuing their trades. All this was before us ; and 
men in the shops on either side, busy at various occupations. By 
the wayside, importunately singing and begging, were beings more 
degraded in looks and manner than any you have ever seen or 
could imagine. 

There are now so many churches in the city (four in a popula- 
tion of two hundred and fifty thousand), that many can know 
when it is our worship day ; and we heard them call to each 
other, " Le pa meek " — that is, ceremony day. I cannot, nay, 
words cannot give the emotions that come over us, as we not only 
remember, but in a manner realize that these multitudes know no 
Lord's day, no Savior ; they have no rest, no hope I 

Arrived at the church, we find groups of China men and 
women. We ladies ascend to the galleries — for us the most con- 
venient and quiet place. The church is very neat, and not expen- 
sive (considering the rate of things in China), the chancel pretty 
and neat, and the pulpit in front elevated, and of a goblet form. 
Soon the Bishop, in his robes, entered, with two presbyters in their 
surplices ; and near by sat Chai, the candidate for deaconship, in 
his surplice. To see a Chinese in a surplice, once a heathen, now 
a Christian, and his excellent character well known to us all — it 
was indeed a happy sight ! In front of the pulpit sat our schol- 
ars, and those of some other schools, so quiet, so clean, and so 
attentive. On either side, the various Chinese, and here and there 
a foreigner. How strange the services and the quiet must have 
been to a Chinese ! for, though we imagine the Chinese reveren- 
tial, they know little what reverence of the heart means ; and it 
is the most difficult undertaking, at first, to make them understand 
they must be quiet. Those we meet- are from the lowest class, 
and may be more boisterous than others. 

After the ordination came the communion — the first held in 
that church. Yes, in the midst of heathen China knelt twenty 
Christian Chinese. I thought of the time when the apostles 
preached the gospel, being scourged, imprisoned, and in danger of 



MISSION ART LIFE. 135 

their lives ; while here, so far as persecution could touch, the gos- 
pel had free course. 

In the afternoon, Chai, the new deacon, preached from the third 
chapter of John, sixteenth verse. In speaking of God, " Who so 
loved the world," he boldly attacked their idols made with hands, 
and spoke with earnestness, and seemed to feel strengthened and 
encouraged for his countrymen. 

We were a quiet and humble band, of a sect despised in 
China. " The foreign man's doctrine " they sneered at. But, 
trusting in God, it was to us a day bright with hope and promise. 

Oh, my dear friend, who would not be Christ's soldier ? who 
would not make some sacrifice for Him ? who would hang back, 
and not come to the heathen to make known the " precious prom- 
ises and glad tidings " ? How can I or dare I regret having 
come, or wish to leave till God plainly calls me hence ? You 
know how that sad bereavement tried me, for you know how I 
loved my dear departed sister. You can imagine that the new- 
ness of my position must have been accompanied with other trials, 
and that the first year is one taxing all the moral strength, the 
hope, the courage, and the faith. Yet, in looking back, I can 
truly say it has been the serenest and happiest year of my life : 
though thick darkness may gather round me in some future, I 
have no doubt I shall have strength according to my day. 

Miss Jones will leave all connection with the school for the 
boys very soon, and then I shall have more weight of care and 
increase of responsibility. But I rather covet it. I came to toil 
and labor — not for repose and ease. The girls' school building is 
rising ; and, if helpers only come, how rejoiced we shall be ! For 
myself, the thought of woman— heathen woman — and the hope of 
doing something for her, moved me to come here. It is clear the 
Bishop intends to keep me in the boys' school ; nor do I feel I 
ought to insist on my original purpose, since he thinks I am " in 
the very place for which I was designed." You know me so 
well, that I need hardly say that it is my strong will and com- 
mand over them, that is the quality so desirable in a woman who 
is to manage boys. But if the girls are cared for, I am content. 
I serve a high Master ; I am called to a noble work. Be the field 
where it may, it is appointed in the overruling wisdom of Him 
who sent me. How I should like to take you to the chapel, and 
let you see the fifty bright faces of our Chinese boys, and let you 
see for yourself that they understood " the doctrine " ! You 
would breathe the prophet's prayer in the valley of dry bones. 

I have much more to say, but only time now to add, that I 
am affectionately yours, 

C. P. Tenney. 



136 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, Aug. 26, 1861. 

* * * The whole course of Chinese training is to culti- 
vate the memory at the expense of the reasoning powers ; and it 
seems to me that much of what their memory is exercised upon is 
childish. Just think of a child memorizing till ten or twelve or 
fourteen years, without a particle of explanation ! Imagine the 
effect on the noblest faculties. Then, in English studies, the case 
is affected by the habit in Chinese studies. While they are at 
ages to learn spelling, geography, multiplication, easy histories, 
they learn with comparative ease ; but when it becomes necessary 
to analyze, classify, reason, they fall back discouraged. It is a 
different world of effort. Indeed, we might almost describe the 
Chinese mind, by saying what the Western mind was not. Their 
polite salutations are grave and majestic to excess, as though po- 
liteness was the serious business of life ; while funeral ceremonies 
provoke smiles and laughter (in mere spectators). They evade, 
if possible, giving a direct answer to almost any question. I do 
not believe there is one missionary here who feels confident that 
he thoroughly knows one Chinese, or could predict with assurance 
any future course of action under given circumstances. They are 
close and deep and plausible. Moreover, I do not believe that 
one missionary feels sure of the love — the real, pure affection — of 
any one Chinaman. They may hope, believe, but there is a fear. 

Then, we have to do with the lowest classes, whose habits and 
associations are less elevated and elevating than others. Yet I 
believe even these, and even those who seem to have seen some- 
thing of the excellence of the maxims and principles of the gos- 
pel, look upon Chinese " customs " as the most excellent in the 
world. 

The love of knowledge, the power of applying the mind, is 
painfully feeble in Chinese pupils everywhere. Part of this is to 
be ascribed, doubtless, to the inertness of the Asiatic mind ; part 
to the fact that such characteristics belong generally to the lowest 
class in any country. 

And then, what can be expected in a country where there is 
no public spirit, no politics, no rapidly circulating press, no new 
works of literature and science ? What is there to wake up the 
mind, to raise it by proper stimulants, to invite to a nobler ambi- 
tion? The highest ambition is to go through their course of 
literature ; and they who would reap the honors, must bow to 
idols. But what is more painful than all things, is to see the 
weakness of Chinese converts. They are less to be relied upon, 
probably, than converts of any other nation. Sometimes I ask 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 137 

myself concerning the best of them I know, " Do they under- 
stand that they have been redeemed, and have now something to 
live for ? Do they see the loveliness of purity of heart ? " Yet 
I have to ask, also, " Do Christians at home, trained under influ- 
ences so many and so good — do they realize that they are not 
their own ? Do they take care to have their thoughts and conver- 
sation concerning those things only which are pure and lovely ? " 
Oh ! where is the power that constrained a Paul, that animated 
the confessors ? You may think me depressed and discouraged, 
but I am " not in despair." I know who gave the commission to 
go. I know He is with those He sends ; yet I cannot describe to 
you how pained and grieved are those who love the souls of these 
darkened heathen, to see, from day to day, how they are wedded 
to debasing vanities. " How shall they, who are accustomed to 
do evil, learn to do well ? " The influences of Christians are, 
indeed, just commencing, when we remember how difficult the 
language, and how feeble the force brought to bear on the minds 
of the people. But it is from these we are training that we hope 
for ministers of the gospel, who shall do something toward making 
the Christian literature so absolutely necessary in the right culti- 
vation of a people like this. * * * 

The female population with which we come in contact is a 
most boisterous one — their words many and loud, their minds 
vacant ; and it is a difficult thing to obtain a quiet hearing, much 
more to obtain quiet and real attention. But we will work on, 
strongest in faith when it is darkest to sight. "Prayer, faith, and 
patience " (as good, apostolic John Eliot was accustomed to say) 
"will do wonders." God and His promise are sure. A Paul 
and Apollos often, doubtless, seemed to labor in vain ; and, while 
on earth, how small the visible effects of our Savior's ministry ! 
But the gospel shall be preached to all nations ; and happy they 
who are permitted to carry forward the gospel banner ! • I must 
close abruptly. Yours truly, C. P. Tenney. 



TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Sept. 5, 1851. 

* * * You asked me, some time since, my dear friend, 
how I came to think of being a missionary — what first inclined 
my mind to it ; and you asked, hoping to gain some hints for the 
training of your own children. There is nothing remarkable in 
the leadings of Providence with me as to this enterprise ; and, as 
the lessons I would draw from it for another, I would say, 1st, let 
your children read and know about the heathen; 2d, let them 
see that you deem missionary work a noble one ; and 3d, that, to 



138 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

be Christ's soldier, implies no less than that he should endure 
hardness and self-denial ; and 4th, to be Christ's friend, implies no 
less than obedience to His last command, and a heart burning 
with desire that all nations should come to His light. Let these 
be their great ideas, upon "which shall be built their idea of a 
Christian. Whatever there may be in my Christian character 
that is valuable, is owing, under God, to the influence of the ex- 
ample of one minister of the gospel (Congregationalist) now in 
Pawtucket, R. I. — Rev. C. Blodgett. Not that I became under 
his ministry, nor for years afterward, a true Christian ; but in him 
I saw the idea of a Christian realized ; and the idea illustrated 
by him, followed, I may say pursued me. And subsequently, 
when I have visited him, I have always found my spirit nerved 
and strung anew for conflict, and my will determined upon vic- 
tory. There was a tone, an elevation, a tension (if I may so 
speak) to his piety, that gave me an idea of what it was to be in 
earnest. Yes, that is the word — in earnest ! It was from him I 
first heard of missionaries. Not much, indeed, directly ; but I 
saw that he honored, reverenced them for their work's sake ; and 
I reverenced him, and thus I learned to admire the grand and 
sublime in Christian effort. When about seven years old, I re- 
member hearing of Harriet Newell's devotedness (the first female 
missionary from America), and I read Mrs. Judson's Life ; and 
these had their share in showing me the kind of a Christian a 
missionary must be. The minister of whom I spoke left us after 
a residence of two and a half years, and I was just fifteen. 
From that time I heard nothing of missionaries. I wandered 
through mazes of doubt and error and gloom and sadness, but the 
light of a nerved, earnest-minded, full-souled, elevated Christian 
example followed me ; and when the truth he had sown at length 
sprang up, under other influences, it was with the question, " Lord, 
what wilt Thou have me to do ? " In speaking of Africa,- one 
day, Dr. Alexander Jones, now of Richmond, Va., asked me, 
casually, " How would you like to be a missionary ? " I replied, 
as so many do : " Oh ! I am not fit " (*. c, not deeply pious 
enough). He only replied : " I think you have some qualities 
which make you adapted for such an undertaking. If you ever 
incline to go, let me know." I went on my way North, and then 
went West. But the word " you " had been spoken, and could 
not be recalled. This was in 1845. I spoke of it to a friend in 
Louisville thus : " What if, some day, I should be a missionary ? 
But I need to be more established in faith, and every Christian 
grace ; yet I think perhaps some day I may be called to go." 
And then, in the tide of ordinary duties and pleasures, I forgot 
both that word and the high calling and privilege of a Christian. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 139 

I was content with husks ! Afflictions found me, and the hand 
of God led me into solitude. There I heard the "still small 
voice," and was constrained to believe that I had a work to do 
which would require all my affections and energies and will, and I 
was given to desire earnestly the place of toil and self-sacrifice. 
The persuasion was strong and constant that God was preparing 
me for some peculiar work, requiring all I could give. Then came 
the Bishop's letter, " Send us two ladies." I waited months ; no 
one heeded. Again the call, and there was none to hear. What 
could I say but " Here am I ; Lord, send me " ? And here I am, 
for many reasons rejoicing that I came, regretting it not yet on 
any account. It is by small means (to the human view) that God 
accomplishes His purpose. The example of my early pastor, the 
word of Mr. Jones, the letter of the Bishop coming to me, amid 
months of solitude — these were the seeds, watered by affliction, 
which weaned me from the world. You can see by this that it is 
in early life the bent is taken, though there is need of after train- 
ing. Oh that Christian parents would indeed give their children 
to God, and train them for Him — not for the world ! — I have 
room to add no more, but that I am, most affectionately, your 
sister, C. P. Tenney 

TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, Oct. 1, 1851. 

My dear Sir : Although the last mail took a letter from me 
both for yourself and for Mrs. Gordon, and the preceding mail a 
communication to the Sunday school, I am not willing to let this 
mail pass without a few words to revive your thoughts of China. 
Such has been the kindness and affection testified for me in vari- 
ous ways by the members of the Church of the Holy Trinity, 
that, in writing to you, or through you to them, I no longer feel 
as if addressing strangers. Rather, I think of them as a band of 
brothers and sisters, interested with myself in a willing service of 
our God and Savior. I shall therefore write freely and familiarly, 
as to friends, and, in so doing, find greater satisfaction myself, and 
impart more to those who shall hear or read my letters. 

Days and months fly so rapidly in China, that I am scarcely 
able to believe when the period of mailing letters returns, and 
sometimes wonder if it can be a month since the despatches left 
my hand. My routine is so quiet and uniform, that I often feel 
that I have nothing to say that will be worth a letter. But, when 
that is the case, I have the satisfaction of feeling that there are 
other sources from which you can derive more. I am still en- 
gaged with the first class, and shall be so, probably, till the arrival 
of the appointed principal. "We have a monthly examination of 



140 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

the scholars, who are now arranged into four distinct classes. 
One of our oldest boys, a former member of the first class, is the 
teacher (for the present) of the two lower divisions ; and a very 
good teacher he proves. The last examination was more satisfac- 
tory to us, as a whole, than any previous one for some time. The 
great object in all, and the most difficult one, is to cultivate and 
quicken the moral sense. It is line upon line, patient waiting, 
hoping, striving. As there is no word for " conscience " in Chi- 
nese, so one might almost think there was no such thing, so diffi- 
cult is it to call out the sense of accountability to God. But I 
believe the more we are enabled to do all things in simplicity, 
offering and leaving all our best efforts in simple faith, the more 
we shall eventually be blessed. Our most intense desire should 
be, and I trust is, that God would glorify His own truth. His own 
name. 

One week ago I had the pleasure of a trip to the Pagoda, 
about eight miles distant ; and we also visited the French monas- 
tery, distant only three or four miles from this city by land, but 
much farther by the streams. The grounds of the monastery are 
quite extensive, the buildings numerous, and some of them quite 
tasteful. They have a new and large and neat church, which we 
were permitted to enter. It is said that about forty foreign mis- 
sionaries are connected with the monastery, and are scattered 
through the adjacent country, returning to that as a centre. What 
an example to Protestants ! With our clearer light and more 
spiritual apprehension of Divine truth, why are not Protestants 
more self-denying and in earnest ? It has been said that an insti- 
tution of " Sisters of Charity " is to be established at this port, in 
connection with the efforts for the propagation of the Romish 
faith. I believe I have previously mentioned the Pagoda, as I 
visited it last October. It has six stories, and is a striking, pic- 
turesque object in this level and monotonous country. Numerous 
small bells are attached to the points of its numerous roofs, and, 
when the breeze is strong, a constant tinkling is produced. The 
idea is, I believe, to keep off demons ! The prospect from the top 
is a lovely one, although the country is so level. Not a hillock 
breaks the plain, and only at one point is the line of the horizon 
broken, and that by hills some seventeen miles distant. It was 
one year since I had looked over that same fair scene, when I had 
been but two months here ; and I had a good opportunity to test 
my own feelings and views with regard to heathenism, now that I 
had more acquaintance with it. I can truly say that I now felt 
their condition a far heavier burden on my soul than then ; that 
their situation appeared more deplorable, and that I longed more 
earnestly to be spent in efforts to bless them. I know not hot; 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 141 

many thousands live in the valley (a small portion of which I 
saw) ; but the thirty-eight or forty millions of this province, what 
are they compared with the eighteen provinces, the three hundred 
and sixty millions of China ? And what have we to give these ? 
— money, effort, prayers — the last by no means least. Do not our 
hearts burn with desire to tell these benighted ones of our Savior 
— to tell them, till they shall understand what u Savior " means ? 
Have we no life thus to give for Him who died for us ? And 
why for us ? Was it not that we might be instruments for His 
glory ? Who made us to differ ? Oh ! to realize that we are 
bought, redeemed — that we are no more our own — and then to 
rejoice in being called to go forth in the most arduous or self-deny- 
ing service, counting it all joy that we may in a little measure 
prove our love to our Savior and to our fellow men, even for those 
whom He loved so well as to die for ! 

Oh, that Christians at home did realize from what they are 
saved, and in what millions of souls as precious as theirs are en- 
slaved, and perish ! Oh, that I felt it more and more deeply and 
constantly ! Then should I, in the spirit of the great apostle, 
strive and labor in my prayers as well as in more outward efforts. 
Is not this a theme that should awaken in every Christian heart 
the " groanings which cannot be uttered " ? * * * 

Again let me say how much I am gratified in hearing of the 
remarkable prosperity of the Church of the Holy Trinity, and 
also how gratefully I appreciate all your abundant kindness and 
affection for me, for my Master's and my work's sake. But my 
last word now, as ever, must be, u Pray for us." Strive together 
in your prayers for us. In the best of bonds, believe me, yours 
truly, Caboline P. Tenney. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Nov. 17, 1851. 

My dear Mrs. Gordon : It is now three months since I have 
had a line from you ; and you can hardly imagine how I miss 
your letters. I presume the reason of your unusual silence was 
your absence from the city, or travelling. You will be consider- 
ably in my debt as to letters ; but how much I am in your debt 
as to innumerable kindnesses ! I feel that I have not half made 
the acknowledgment I ought ; and yet words are such poor 
recompense I feel ashamed to use them. * * * 

It has frequently occurred to me, that the reason there was 
not and is not among missionaries the tone o fpiety which people 
at home would expect (but are often disappointed in not seeing), 
is that there are so few old Christians ; that all come out young — 



142 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

students, without the maturity and sedateness that pastoral ex- 
perience tends to give. I, for one, was glad to hear that one of 
our new missionaries had sustained the pastoral relation some 
years. * * * 

I often wish I could have you here for a little while. Yes, I 
would like to see you enter my quiet room this moment. I can- 
not tell you how often I think of the kind friends who sent me 
this and that comfort. They give me a pleasure no ordinarily 
purchased comforts could have done. Though it would not be 
well, probably, that every missionary should be supported by a 
particular church, yet I am sure I feel a satisfaction in being par- 
ticularly connected with one church, that I could not otherwise do. 
I can feel that they think of me with a stronger and peculiar 
interest, and that excites anew my own interest in Christians at 
home, and a stronger interest in my work here. * * * Per- 
haps Mr. Talbot will give you some idea of our privileges of 
church-going, and of hearing preaching. It is so sweet, in a hea- 
then land, so refreshing, to go up to worship God, and to hear His 
truth from a faithful, fearless servant of God ! Our minister (the 
English chaplain, who came out originally to be a missionary) 
fears God greatly, and he fears nought else. Perhaps you can 
guess such a man would win my warmest admiration. I always 
go half a day, and the afternoon I always spend with the Chinese 
boys. I wonder what you will say, when I tell you that going to 
church involves an expense to each of us of forty dollars [per 
year] ! But, cold as the winters are, if something was to be cur- 
tailed, I would rather go without a fire than without church, 
unless my duty among the Chinese required me. One of these 
days, when I shall have acquired more command of the language, 
it is my hope and purpose to spend as much of my strength and 
spare time as possible among the women in the hamlets around ; 
and then, if need be, I can willingly, gladly stay away from 
church, for it will be "more blessed to give than to receive." 
But you have no idea of the difficulty there is in gaining the 
attention and interest of women ; they seem so frivolous and tri- 
fling. You know that it is often contended that the stories about 
the Chinese killing so many of their children are so much hum- 
bug. Probably there is much less of it here than farther South — 
as, for instance, at Amoy. But, the other day, Mr. S., in walk- 
ing, met a woman whom he knew some time ago as the mother 
of a little boy, an infant, and asked for it. She, laughing, told 
him she had killed it ; and " why should she not ? she had no 
rice for him." 

This is a curious letter of odds and ends. Make, I beg, allow- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 14:3 

ance for it as such. Kemember me most affectionately to the kind 
circle of friends, and believe me, ever most truly yours, 

0. P. Tenney. 

TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, Nov. 19, 1851. 

My dear Friend : I have written a letter to the Sunday 
school by the ship " Nestorian," and have also sent, by the same 
ship, some few things which I hope will interest the children in 
some degree. * * * My own class go on quietly ; but, as 
most of them are baptized boys, you can hardly understand how 
much they constantly excite my anxieties and often try my feel- 
ings. As slaves, when made free, seldom know how to use free- 
dom (at first) in the best way, so these boys, when thrown upon 
great and ennobling principles, and treated as young men of con- 
science (not as boys, merely to command them), often abuse the 
liberty, and make it an evil. Their dispositions, feelings, tempta- 
tions are so different ! This first class are much older than any 
of the other boys — twenty-two, twenty-one, twenty«three, nine- 
teen years. For instance, one is proud, conceited, and fond of his 
own way, and with a conscience not yet fully able to apply the 
word " duty " to school requirements. How is he to be managed 
by a woman ? The old teaching must be presented in new forms 
to arrest the attention, and, while they touch the conscience, rest 
upon strong, clear reasons. How often do I have reason to think 
of St. Paul's strong expressions of solicitude for the ' ' little chil- 
dren " in the faith ! I remember once, with one of my eccentric 
scholars (who loves -to have his own way, and is impatient of con- 
trol), with whom I had- previously used my best efforts to induce 
him to observe regularity, I took an example from the law of 
order in God's works — the planets, seasons. The lesson struck 
him, and had its effect for a long while ; but then his other failing 
• — impatience of control — comes in, and it requires all the tact I 
can command to have him under control, without his being aware 
of it. Then, another gives way to despondency and indolence ; 
another to a native insolence ; and they, who should be examples 
to others, are thus our bitterest trial. I allude to these boys to 
show you the nature of our work. I believe some of these boys 
are Christians, but they are weak ; and let Christians at home 
remember how many of their number, if not held up and support- 
ed by habit and public example and opinion, would be as weak as 
these, who have all their old habits to contend with, unaided by 
the strong help of a Christian tone of public opinion. 

"We have to contend not only with sin in its ordinary forms, 
but with the slavery to custom, and, more than all, with the intol 



144 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

erable conceit of this Chinese people. They will not give up 
their old ideas, that foreigners are barbarians, and they only the 
polished and refined and learned nation. One of the teachers, 
who has been the longest with foreigners, said, very gravely, the 
other day, that the foreigners were superior to Chinese people in 
most things — in ships, houses — but in books they were stupid. 
We can do and wish to do so little with their books, except as 
classical studies, and apply ourselves so entirely to translations — 
which they cannot appreciate — that it is no wonder they think we 
have little literary taste or ability. We cannot communicate to 
them (as yet) the stores of science ; and how can they believe in 
what they cannot see or hear ? 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Dee. 9, 1851. 

* * * "^r e are now i 00 ti n g almost daily, and, as you may 
suppose, anxiously, for our friends and fellow laborers. We hope 
to be strengthened and refreshed by their presence. As I enter 
the chapel day after day, I can but feel that " the bones are very 
many and very dry ; " and I can but cry from my heart, " Come, 
breathe upon these slain, that they may live ! " The other day, 
as I was feeling depressed in reflecting on the condition of those 
around me, and the moral state of our scholars, it occurred to me 
that Isaac, the child of promise, was not given to his parents till 
twenty years after the promise. But, while it is necessary to sup- 
port and strengthen our faith by remembering that the Lord is 
not slack concerning His promise, but that with Him a thousand 
years are but as one day. there is also danger lest we do not think 
enough of our own part in the work. I seem to do so little ; and 
there is so much to be done ! And then, in the thought and atten- 
tion these efforts require, the thought of God is in danger of being 
crowded out, or an insensibility to the evils we are studying to 
check may grow upon us. I wonder if there is any field of duty 
so calculated to make one feel his weakness as this field ? Oh, 
for the secret of prayer ! To be always a babe, when it is the 
common privilege to become a " prince with God," how distress- 
ing ! And then, the thought sometimes comes over me, " Is it I 
who keep back the blessing that otherwise were ready to de- 
Bcend ? " My dear sister, I entreat you to forget not to " labor 
for us " in your prayers ; and may we all seek more earnestly unto 
God, " who will be inquired of to do these things for us." 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 145 

TO MISS ALMIRA OSBORNE, DANVERS, MASS. 

Shanghai, Dee. 20, 1851. 

My dear Almira : Though it is not long since I sent a short 
letter to your father, and some trifling presents in the ship " Nes- 
torian," I will not let my good ship " Tartar," and the good Cap- 
tain Webber, who commands it, leave port without a line for you, 
just to keep you in mind of me. * * * 

I wish you could send me, just now, a piece of cold sausage, a 
doughnut, a piece of pumpkin pie, and a piece of mince pie — and, 
as turkeys are never seen here, a delicate slice of that said fowl 
would be palatable ! I confess, about Thanksgiving time, and so 
on, I have a recollection of my Aunt Osborne's larder ! 

It seems quite unmissionary-like to write all this — don't it ? 
But remember, eating is one part of even a missionary's duty ! 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Jan. 7, 1852. 

* * * The Jonathan and John Bull yachts, locks, and 
other inventions are not undiscussed in our " corner " of the 
world. Sometimes I am amused, and sometimes provoked, to see 
the arrogance, ignorance, and conceit of the English in relation to 
Americans and America. If so much remains in spite of foreign, 
liberalizing influences, what must they be at home ? Did I record 
in my last, that the son of a lord visited our school, and afterward, 
in alluding to me, said, among other things, " that he should have 
taken me for an English lady " ? I suppose, in his own opinion 
that was the highest compliment he could have paid me. 

TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, Jan. 12, 1852. 

My dear Friend : * * * Upon us the year did indeed 
open most brightly, hopefully, joyfully ; for our long-looked- for 
and eagerly welcomed friends of the barque M Oriental " were 
with us. They arrived on Christmas day, at two p. m. — just in 
time for us all to enjoy our Christmas dinner at the Bishop's. It 
could scarcely be told what thoughts were oftenest in all our 
minds. I am sure, in every heart — in the hearts of the newly 
arrived as well as of the older members of the mission — there was 
a full tide of feeling, and a crowd of thankful, happy thoughts, 
such as are experienced but seldom in a lifetime. I do not be- 
ilieve the word or idea u stranger " entered into any of our minds ; 
and when Mr. Nelson, at the hour of our parting, the Saturday 
night afterward, led our devotions, he expressed, I am confident, 
7 



146 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

the feeling of every heart, in dwelling upon a union in Christ. 
We were eleven ; and the single missionary of the Church of 
England in Shanghai, and his lady, joined our Christmas party ; 
so there were thirteen Episcopalians. Oh, I do wish I could give 
you a picture of our happiness this Christmas ! But it is impos- 
sible. 

TO MRS. E. RAPELYE, BROOKLYN, N. Y. 

Shanghai, Feb. 14, 1852. 

My dear Mrs. Rapelye : So rapid is the flight of time in 
this the place of my happy exile, that it is only by referring to 
your kind letter that I can scarcely believe it is sixteen months 
since I wrote you, and nearly a year since your reply was dated. 
But I am confident you will not impute my long silence to forget- 
fulness, but rather to the many demands on my time. By the 
same ship which brought yours, I had many letters ; and I can 
truly say yours was one of the most grateful to my feelings, and 
has been often read. 

This is the first day of our yearly holiday of three weeks, and 
I have announced my intention of devoting a large part of it to 
visiting America ! — that is, I will indulge in what is always a 
pleasure to me, viz., writing to dear friends. But, though it is 
holiday, my peculiar duties, aside from teaching, are not suspend- 
ed ; for, as I write, the u tailor " stands near me at a table, pre- 
paring summer garments for our Chinese pupils ; and so constantly 
do laborers and servants in this part of the world need looking 
after, that, in the thorough preparations for summer, such as 
whitewashing, &c., I shall be walking to and fro half my vaca- 
tion. 

I have mentioned these things that you may not forget what 
used to be so little realized by good people at home, viz., that mis- 
sionaries have a great deal to do which is far enough from romance 
or dreaming. To describe one half my engagements would read 
very poorly ; but just such engagements are what require most of 
self-sacrifice and patience. Sometimes I think I will write a list 
of the curious calls that come in a day ; but those most curious 
days are just those when I am worn out by night too much to 
write a line. "Well, be the work what it may, whether according 
to or contrary to my taste and inclination, it is delightful to think 
that it is for a loved Master, and I am most happy in it. You 
say you cannot imagine anything like " home " among names and 
scenes so foreign, and that you must resolve my content into one 
consideration — " the love of Christ constraineth." Oh, that His 
love might more and more inspire my every act ! And what, 
after all, is the best, the greatest service man can offer ? Life is 



MISSIONAKY LIFE. 147 

all too short, and the best of us too worthless, as an offering to an 
adorable Eedeemer. Yes, after we have done, though that high- 
est commendation be ours, we shall still exclaim : 

" Yet, worthless still myself I own ; 
Thy strength is all my plea." 

You allude to the intimate and lasting nature of Christian friend- 
ship. None, it seems to me, can feel this more than the mission- 
ary, from the very nature of his trials, of his hopes. He must 
look at the things eternal, or his heart would sink ; and, looking 
there, this world and all its joys (though pure, though many) seem 
but as the passing dream. This world to him is more and more a 
pilgrimage ; and, though weary, he rejoices as his home becomes 
nearer. Oh, my dear friend, I can never be thankful enough 
u that unto me this grace was given," to come among these hea- 
then — to leave what was dearest to me, that I might be a witness 
of the " unsearchable riches of Christ " ! And now it only re- 
mains that in this stewardship I be " found faithful." And how 
my heart is often cheered and rejoiced, to know that there are 
those Christian friends who bear me on their hearts when they go 
to seek blessings of Him who is ever ready to give ! — You speak 
of the success of the various benevolent enterprises in which your 
church is engaged, and the devoted, self-sacrificing labors of your 
pastor. "Were it consistent, how much I should enjoy a week or 
two among you — to hear and to tell of such things — to sympa- 
thize in hopes and fears and joys ! But, when such a feeling 
arises, the next thought is, How delightful will be the communion 
of Christians above, when, having come off conquerors through 
Him who loved them, they together recount their conflicts and 
their deliverances ! Ah, my dear friend, with such hopes as the 
Christian may have, whose heart should be so full of joy as his ? 
whose countenance so beaming with happiness? But I must 
check my pen, and speak of present realities and circumstances. 

As you will have learned ere this reaches you, on Christmas 
day, after our service in the chapel, and about two hours before 
our Christmas dinner at the Bishop's, our hearts were made to 
overflow with joy and thankfulness by the arrival of our friends 
of the " Oriental," and still more when we found them to be, in 
piety, earnestness, and good sense, so much what we could have 
desired. And, by the last mail, we learn that Mr. and Mrs. Hub- 
bard, and another lady, will sail this coming spring. IfJ with all 
this, the Bishop's health may be continued, we shall be indeed 
richly blessed in all outward means and helps. 

We have to mourn the recent departure of Mrs. Boone ; but 
we can hope for her speedy return. Dr. and Mrs. Bridgeman 



148 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

were also obliged to leave at the same time, on account of the 
sudden and alarming prostration of the health of the former, 
which it seemed probable that a sea voyage and a change of air 
alone could restore. Mrs. Bridgeman's trial and sorrow was in 
leaving her school, in which she had not very long been laboring, 
according to the cherished wish of her heart. Four of our pupils 
leave us this year, all of whom, we have comfortable hope, are 
true Christians. One of them, of whom you have had some ac- 
count, is to study for the ministry ; and three will go out into the 
world to do business. 

The health of every one of us is perfectly good, except the 
Bishop's ; and Mrs. Nelson seems not to have yet entirely recov- 
ered from her sufferings in the voyage out. Our winter has been 
most charming — clear, cold, and dry; and I have not been so 
well and strong for years, and so buoyant and fresh in spirit, as 
during this winter. To have health, hope, and opportunities for 
usefulness, and the comforts of life as we pass along, and, more 
than all, those glorious hopes of a world far happier than this — 
are not these enough for happiness ? But my paper is spent, and 
I must not take another sheet now, though I could love to write 
much more. I remain, in the bonds of the gospel, yours faith- 
fully, C. P. Tenney. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, March 2, 1852. 

* * * Since I last wrote you, I have been spending a 
vacation — but such a vacation as I am glad comes but once a 
year. I never before was so wearied out with servants in my 
life. So desperately indolent, that nothing but constantly follow- 
ing them will get anything out of them ; but their " doong dies " 
(wages) they are eager enough for. I shall welcome the regular 
return of school duties as a sort of rest. Could you have followed 
me about among the workmen and whitewashers, making small 
repairs, you would have felt there was very little " romance " in 
this sort of missionary life, and very little heroism about your 
friend ; for night after night I have been so tired I could have sat 
down and cried, just for relief. It is these little and indescriba- 
ble, and often vexing cares, that constitute one half the trial of 
laboring in such a field ; for you know the little trials are the 
hardest to bear, after all. I only speak of these as giving you a 
picture — not as complaining. No ; for these things, though they 
concern my comfort, do not affect my happiness. I could not wish 
to be happier than I am, or to have an easier task. Oh, no ; 
goodness and mercy follow me continually, and my cup runneth 
over. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 149 

TO MISS GOODRIDGE. 

Shanghai, March, 1852. 

My dear, ever dear Charlotte : I do not often have to 
commence a letter with an apology, and I do not believe it was 
ever before necessary from me to you. But I know not how to 
make any apology for my long, long delay to answer your very 
precious and often-read letters. But the truth is, your dear letters 
deserved, I thought, such an answer from me as I could not give 
in mere scraps of time. I said, therefore, that I would wait for a 
" convenient season ; " and I have waited so long that shame 
made me delay still longer. And now I am so much in your debt, 
that I shall have to confess myself bankrupt ; that is, I am unable 
to take up and meet, as I ought and could wish to do, the many 
interesting topics of your letter. But I know you will freely par- 
don me, and accept such as I can give you, and give me your 
" receipt in full," by a prompt response in the form of a letter. 
If I did not think you would do this freely and gladly from your 
own good will and kindness, I should begin to plead my accumu- 
lated " merits " of the past, when I wrote you repeatedly, and got 
no answer. But I will not cheat myself in this way again. I 
will write you more frequently, though it be briefly and unwor- 
thily. " Briefly and unworthily," I say, for my days now are not 
like those on shipboard, or in the quiet Southern States, where 
hours of undisturbed thought were always at command. Some- 
times I sit down of an afternoon, after a morning of teaching, and 
the morning and intermission hours given to " household " cares, 
and I say, " Now, surely, I shall have my two or three hours of 
study." And perhaps I do not get fifteen minutes ! Or, if I 
have a quiet evening, and no special engagement, a host of let- 
ters " ought to be written," and I know not where to begin. For 
the first time since I have been in China, when this is written I 
shall owe no one a letter ! I remember you said you would be 
willing to stand " last on the list." So here you are — but by no 
means least. I have so much I would like to say, that I will dive 
at once into things, and, without much regard to order or connec- 
tion, shall make the most of my allotted time and space. Above, 
I alluded to my " household cares." You must know that our 
school consists of fifty-four boys, of whom twenty-eight fall to my 
charge as to clothing, oversight, care, twenty-two being under my 
constant instruction. I suppose that " servants," all the world 
over, are the housekeeper's trial ; but it is impossible to convey an 
impression of the difficulty of managing Chinese servants. They 
have no idea of cleanliness, and an imperfect one (often) of what 
we tell them, and a spirit of " eye service when they do clearly 



150 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

understand : so that sometimes my precious days are spent in get- 
ting something out of the servants. There is no " romance " in 
real missionary life, though there may be in the minds of some 
who sit at home and think about it. I never had so many " Mar- 
tha cares " in all my previous life ; and it is not to be avoided in 
a school like this, or by a missionary's wife in a heathen land. 
Economy must be studied, and servants must be watched. I 
thought I would give you this side of the picture, for my heavi- 
est labors are every-day cares and little trials. Pen and paper can 
give no idea of them. 

I am not complaining, or out of patience. I expected these 
very things, and I do not covet ease. Oh, no ; I am still happy 
in my labors. This is an immense field. I could wish I had ten 
times as much energy to spend here ; it is so little I can do. I 
could not wish to be, I could not be content to be elsewhere (un- 
less it were clearly the will of God to call me hence). Pray for 
me, that I may have wisdom to spend my strength aright, and to 
the glory of God. — Some of our older boys left our school this 
past year, all of whom were professed Christians. As Christians, 
they are not all we could wish ; but we have to remember how 
the apostle was obliged to bear even with his converts. One of 
the class is studying for the ministry, and has ever given us reason 
for joy on his behalf. Though he has been sorely tried, he has 
hitherto been found faithful. Two of our teachers are anxious, 
and have been so for some time, to receive baptism next Easter, 
and will probably be admitted to the church at that time. The 
number in communion with us is, I believe, not far from twenty. 
And, though none of us missionaries see the shaking of the pil- 
lars of Satan, which we would rejoice to see, we cannot but feel 
that the leaven of the truth is spreading ; we cannot but believe 
that God will own and bless His truth in His own good time. 

Our missionary band at Shanghai is from time to time dimin- 
ished by illness or death, and from time to time increased. Four 
were added to our own circle last Christmas, and our number was 
diminished in the departure of Mrs. Boone for America, February 
3d, taking with her her two children. The Bishop remains, deso- 
late, yet cheerful, though a wife and four children be separated 
from him, and he in a state of health that makes it at any moment 
likely that he may be taken from us. Dr. Bridgman, the first 
American missionary to China, is also returning with Mrs. B. to 
the United States, suddenly driven away by an alarming prostra- 
tion of health. Mrs. Taylor, of the Methodist Board (South), 
returned with them, and her husband does not expect to see her 
again in three or five years. Are not such rendings of the ten- 
derest ties trials ? All the missionaries with whom I came out 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 151 

(four) have been laid aside more or less from ill health, or sickness 
in their families. The ladies (three) have as yet studied very- 
little ; and one — a minister — has been sick a good deal, and now 
has inflamed, ulcerated sore throat. I alone have had perfect 
health, with the exception of a week's sickness and a month's 
feebleness last summer. My weight (alas !) is fourteen pounds 
less than when I wrote you, owing to incessant care and exertion 
in our winter vacation to get everything in readiness for a new 
term. So that, although perfectly well, I do not feel so strong as 
I did last spring at this time. 

I read very little, and — what would surprise Aunt Osborne — 
I have almost lost my taste for general reading. Chinese en- 
grosses all my spare time and energies. I get on somewhat with 
the language, but, owing to the use of English in our school, I 
was able to commence teaching at once, and so get on without so 
much impatience. "We have a girls' school in connection with 
our mission, in which there is no English taught ; and there is, at 
present, also a day school, under the care of the excellent matron 
of the girls' boarding school. Training children is like watching 
the growth of a blade of grass — day by day it is imperceptible, 
yet there is growth. The apathy, nay, the paralysis of the hea- 
then Chinese mind is such, that our hope is with the young, who 
shall be taught the truth from early years. They come to us at 
eight, ten, and remain ten years. I do not expect to speak 
with ease and freedom in less than three years. I have, as yet, 
learned only about fifteen hundred " characters ; " though, to be 
sure, I have devoted but a very small portion of my time to that 
part of the language. Oh, for " the gift of tongues " ! 

I thank you, my dear Charlotte, for the full and interesting 
account you so kindly gave me of the way in which you were led 
into a faith so precious as that in which we now rejoice. My own 
views as to this faith grow stronger and clearer. The longer I 
live and meet the Christian warfare, the more do I understand the 
significance of the words, " Christ all and in all." My own views 
as to sanctification continue unchanged ; but I have " fallen from 
grace," and, like yourself, when you wrote, I have to " refer to 
past experience " in proof of the power of God's grace. But I 
shall never again be content till I again find purity and rest in a 
constant, loving union with Christ. 

It is now two years since I left my native land — the briefest 
and happiest years of my life, though I have known bereavement, 
sorrow, trial, tears. And they might have been much happier, 
especially the past year, had I lived as near my Father as I might 
have done. I am striving to commence anew, and to regain lost 
ground. I am sure I can say, " Lord, do with me what Thou 



152 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

wilt, take from me what Thou wilt, only make me what Thou 
wouldst have me to be. Give me Thyself." 

I thank you for the glimpse you give me of the religious as- 
pect of things in Danvers. Do not fail always to do this, and to 
write as much at length as you did in your last two letters. If I 
do not fully repay you, either in quantity or quality, you will re- 
member my numerous correspondents, and other calls upon my 
time. And, though I do not write you as often^as you could 
desire or I could wish, believe me you are among the most fre- 
quently and affectionately remembered. I assure you, no letters 
— not any — have been so frequently re-read by me as your own. 
As we both deem, God has made us to feel a sympathy — has so 
united us, that we can fully appreciate each other's joys, and many 
of each other's sorrows. * * * Doubtless we are better pre- 
pared to enjoy our rest in God, from having been so long on a 
wild and stormy sea. 

It is nearly three o'clock in the morning, and you will say I 
ought to be asleep. But I did not feel sleepy, and preferred 
writing to-night. If you will only forgive me, I think I can even 
promise that I will reply more promptly next time ; though I can- 
not promise to enjoy more keenly any letters that you may write 
in future than I did your former ones, poorly as I have proved my 
estimation of them. 

And now, my dear Charlotte, I must, for a time, say adieu ; 
but the years are fast speeding away, and soon there will be no 
more adieus, no more partings, no more tears, no more imperfect 
communications. "What bliss is in store in our Father's home for 
his loving children ! Can it be that such as we are can and may 
expect such things ? Truly, in this precious hope, " to live is 
Christ, to die is gain." Till we meet, our affections, and often 
our prayers, shall mingle, and be drawn out and centred more and 
more through one common centre, even our Redeemer. Fare- 
well. Believe me yours ever, very affectionately, 

C. P. Tenney. 



-•♦•- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 153 

CHAPTER II. 

APRIL, 1852 — SEPTEMBER, 1853. 

Months of Severe Trial — Missions, Missionaries, and Missionaries' Wives— Remarks 
on the Life of Margaret Fuller Ossoli — Journal at the "Hills"— Journal of Mis- 
sionary Labor— Perils from the Rebellion — Translations into Chinese—" Assurance 
of Faith" — Theological Tendencies Criticized — The Church— The "Develop- 
ment" Theory. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, April 13, 1852. 

* * * Know, then, my brother, that the cup of May, 
1848, with a few different ingredients, has again been prepared for 
me to drink. 

I know where is my strength and refuge ; but the trial is sore. 
None know anything about it, and this is only for you. You may 
imagine how difficult it is for one of my temperament to conceal 
what preys upon me ; but I shall be able to do it, as now for 
many days I have succeeded. I know God in faithfulness afflicts. 
I must not say that earth is dark , but oh, how weary it would be, 
were it not for the light from above ! The end will come by and 
by, and I shall go home. All will be well ; nay, all is well — I 
know it ; but the heart will bleed. 

TO THE SAME. 

. May 3, 1852. 

My dear Brother : * * * What a history mine has 
been since this year commenced ! Oh, I cannot write it ! Could 
I see you, perhaps I might tell it. Only this must I say : I have 
known more exquisite bliss than ever I knew in my life before ; 
I have known more exquisite anguish, a crushing weight, a gnaw- 
ing agony, greater than I have ever been called to endure hitherto. 
On the 14th of February we were engaged ; on the last day of 
March it was said, " "W"e must be friends." I thought I knew 
agony then ; but as hopelessness became more hopeless, and cer- 
tain and absolute despair my only doom, agony has changed to 
torture. Nearly five long weeks have dragged away, and I seem 
to gain no mastery, though I struggle with all my might. Taught 
by past sorrows, I keep myself as busy as possible, and I spend 
half the sleepless nights in walking my room. Moment by mo- 
ment I cry to my Father. I murmur not ; I cannot murmur at 
Him who is infinitely wise and good ; who pitieth His children, 
7* 



154 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

and who chastiseth in love. But, though the spirit is willing, the 
flesh is weak. None know what is the matter with me ; they 
only see the traces of tears, the falling off of flesh, the pale face, 
the weary walk, the untasted food. My strength is failing, and I 
know not what to do. How pleased should I be, were it the will 
of my Father, that He should to-day call me " home " to Him, 
where the " weary are at rest " ! 

Dear brother, I have seemed selfishly absorbed in my own 
grief; but I never cease to sympathize with you in your desola- 
tion. 

The sixteen months succeeding " the last day of March," 
1852, comprised, undoubtedly (the earlier half of that time espe- 
cially), the period of the most severe agony in my sister's life. 
The expressions wrung from her tortured heart, in her letters to 
me (for to no other friend in America did she confide her distress), 
it would be neither pleasant nor profitable to transfer to these 
pages. They belong, moreover, to an unprecedentedly trying but 
brief experience in her history, and would not, therefore, fairly 
represent her. Suffice it to say, her religious faith was not for an 
instant shaken. Assured composure she was several months in 
attaining ; but, in all these hours of anguish, she never gave over 
the conflict of life, or wrote a reproachful or vindictive word con- 
cerning the human agent of her suffering. In her copy of Mrs. 
Hemans's Poems I find a mark in the margin against the follow- 
ing lines, with the date, " March 31st," in her own handwriting : 

41 Her lot is on you — silent tears to weep, 

And patient smiles to wear through suffering's hour, 
And 8umless riches, from affections deep, 

To pour on broken reeds — a wasted shower ! 
And to make idols, and to find them clay ; 
And to bewail that worship — therefore pray ! 
* * # * * * 

" And a true heart of hope, though hope be vain. 
Meekly to bear with wrong, to cheer decay, 
And oh ! to love through all things — therefore pray ! 



" Earth will forsake. Oh, happy to have given 
Th' unbroken heart's first fragrance unto Heaven ! " 



MI8SIONAET LIFE. 155 

June 15th, 1852, she wrote me : " Would that it could be 
said of me, as in Longfellow's * Evangeline : ' 

1 All was ended now — the fear, the hope, and the sorrow ; 
All the aching of heart, the restless, unsatisfied longing ; 
All the dull, deep pain, and constant anguish of patience ! ' 

I try to be patient ; but oh, the ' anguish of patience ! ' I try 
to say, ' Thy will be done ; ' but oh, to live on in hopeless lone- 
liness, in bitter memories, and with a load every moment ! 
* * * What a comfort it is to have such a Bishop as ours 
[she had confided her trouble to him], so clear and firm in his 
faith, so kind and tender in his sympathies ! When he leaves us, 
how lonely we shall be ! " 

In November, 1852, she wrote me : "I have suffered agonies 
untold and inexpressible. Even a month ago I should have writ- 
ten hopelessly ; but the crisis is past." Her letters of the suc- 
ceeding winter, however, exhibit her as still a sufferer. 

All this time her friends of the " missionary circle " in Brooklyn 
were writing her with the warmest interest, sending tokens of 
their love, assuring her of the good her letters had been doing, 
and anticipating much benefit to the Chinese from her labors 
among them. It was worse than the bitterness of death to her 
to think of giving up her chosen vocation. Not to escape her 
own misery, but unwilling to remain in China only half a mission- 
ary, she thrice engaged passage by ship for America, and thrice 
her heart failed her at the last moment. Fearing her mind would 
become a wreck, I omitted not, month after month, to press upon 
her the most urgent appeals to return to her native land, and 
make her home with me. Some of her replies appear in the fol- 
lowing pages. 

The object of her affections was a very brilliant and fascina- 
ting young man ; but, as afterward appeared, unstable, erratic, 
and lacking in moral soundness. Subsequently, when he had for- 
feited the confidence of those who knew him best and had trusted 
him the most implicitly, my sister's letters to me contained the 
most fervent expressions of gratitude to God for her escape, even 
through sharp misery, from what would have been to her a life- 
long wretchedness. 



156 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 



TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, May 25, 1852. 

Dear Friend : Your very kind and encouraging letter, 
mailed about the 1st of January, was received last month ; and I 
beg to offer first, in return, many, many thanks. I do not remem- 
ber what there was in my " last letter " (as you said) which was 
" indeed discouraging." But if you have thought that so, I am 
sure you have thought subsequent ones much more so. It is fre- 
quently the case that mention of everything discouraging is avoid- 
ed in letters home, lest friends there should become disheartened. 
But I have always thought this an error, though well meant ; and 
therefore I have mentioned particular trials, as well as particular 
joys. Some of the cases which have tried our hearts most deeply 
(so far as I know) either have not been mentioned, or but slightly 
alluded to, lest it be too much for those at home who look for suc- 
cess. In this way I believe it is that an impression has grown up 
in the minds of persons not decidedly religious, that missionaries 
color, conceal, raise false hopes. Now, I wouldn't do anything to 
discourage, and thus palsy effort ; but it does seem to me that 
friends ought to know, and thus sympathize in, our heartsick- 
nesses. For we can be heartsick, and yet hold on in the faith 
that God has a blessing for China, or, at least, that He has 
brought us hither to bear testimony for Him. While we mourn 
over disappointment, we can still labor for our Savior ; though, as 
you say, " it is hard to labor with a heavy heart." But I dare 
say that, though I may not have been wrong in speaking of dis- 
couragements, I may have been too weak in faith ; and it is the 
duty of the missionary especially to be strong in faith. Never- 
theless, I am not sorry I wrote as I did, for thus your letter was 
called out ; and we have all read or listened to it, and been re- 
freshed. And it will yet again be read in some hour of real de- 
spondency ; for such hours do come to most missionaries, and will 
surely come to me. The last months have tried the spirits of us 
all more than any in the history of our mission at Shanghai. The 
shameless falseness of one baptized boy, in whom much con- 
fidence had been reposed ; the lukewarmness of others ; the ab- 
sconding of some boys, who, though not baptized, had been 
watched over for years — such things as these make us sad, though 
our motto must be, u If faint, yet pursuing." As I go into my 
schoolroom, where all are small (under twelve), and look around 
and hope, the memory of those for whom the hopes and cares of 
years have been in vain comes over me, and I have need to re- 
member that my labor cannot be " in vain " if I labor for my 
Master. That great object, the glory of God — that alone can sns- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 157 

tain the spirit, and nerve to new effort ; and that should be enough 
to fill and satisfy the heart. You say very truly, " It is a blessed 
thing to have our heads up in the region of the promises, where 
there are no clouds, but all is pure and serene." It is in that re- 
gion our dear Bishop seems ever to dwell ; and his presence and 
words of cheer are to us invaluable, aside from his labors. But 
he, too, must leave us for a season (God grant it may be only for 
a season !), in search of some amendment of health ; and if he is 
spared to reach America, I know his visit will be greatly for the 
good of this mission. Mr. and Mrs. Syle are at Ningpo for a few 
weeks, and it is impossible to describe how much we all miss them. 
We are all in tolerable health ; but some of us (I am sorry to 
include myself in the number) not feeling as strong as we could 
wish for meeting the hot weather. I must not, however, let my 
sheet fill up without speaking of what there is to encourage. The 
old teacher in our school (of whom I think I spoke in my last let- 
ter) will be baptized next Sunday ; and the Bishop says he is 
more in earnest, and seems to have a deeper sense of sin, than 
any Chinaman he has ever conversed with. At the same time, 
one scholar (of about seventeen years of age) will be baptized. 
He has been seeking baptism a long time, and has in all things 
been praiseworthy in his conduct. God grant that his example 
may be blessed to others ! — I cannot omit to thank you again for 
the volume of your sermons you so kindly sent me. I have read 
them, I hope, with profit. Nor can I refrain from saying again 
how cheering it is to our hearts to feel that there are many at 
home who pray for us. Truly, when we say, " Pray for us," we 
mean it. We need so much grace to keep us faithful ! Most 
grateful do I feel for your kind interest in me personally. I often 
tremble lest those who place so much confidence in me should be 
disappointed and wounded. Therefore I must say again, " Pray 
for me." I can add no more at present, but that I am, very faith- 
fully, yours in the gospel, C. P. Tenney. 



TO MISS PLTJMER, 

Shanghai, May 27, 1852. 

My ever dear Mary : Your long, affectionate letter, of 
which every part was interesting, was received a few days since. 
I like to have you tell me of your friends, your occupations, your 
pleasures, and to give me a peep at your world. And if I do not 
always seem to notice these topics in reply, it is not because I am 
uninterested, but because some other subject calls, just then, for 
all the time and paper I can spare. And, my dear Mary, I can- 
not pass without notice the very common notion, and which seems 



158 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

to have some weight with you, that ordinary people do just as 
well among the heathen as persons of superior endowments. It 
is true that every particular talent or valuable acquirement cannot 
be put into use directly ; but the general wisdom, tone of charac- 
ter, and elevation of mind which result from these talents and 
acquirements, are nowhere more needed. A great many things 
which you have read or studied are of little special use to you in 
society ; but then, is not the culture and discipline you secured in 
those studies most important for your position and influence ? 
Would a person of narrow mind and small views do any work 
which requires judgment, as well as a superior mind ? Besides, 
one of * the most important aspects of missions is their reflex influ- 
ence ; and what kind of missionaries, do you suppose, have most 
power over the mind and heart of the Christian public at home ? 
As to my own talents — of which, dear Mary, as a friend you 
speak so kindly — I never felt my own weakness, either mentally 
or morally, so deeply as I have been compelled to feel it in China. 
As to my being thrown away because the " minds of the heathen 
do not touch mine," granting the position for a moment, have I no 
influence on minds at home ? I have good reason to believe that, 
in the two years of my absence from America, I have exerted 
more influence for good upon the circle with which my mind has 
contact at home, than I ever did in my life previously ; and I trust 
in God my work there is not yet finished. A faithful missionary, 
who has sacrificed what is dearest to human feeling for duty and 
his Master, bears such testimony to God's moral presence in the 
world as a man in a more common and ordinary routine of life 
could not ; and is not such a testimony needed in this age of for- 
malism ? And the greater the mental endowments of such a mis- 
sionary, the greater the effects upon the minds of the worldly. 
The latter may not be able to appreciate the gentle virtues, but 
they are impressed with the entire devotion of great minds to a 
self-denying work. "Was there not a cause that, while most of 
the apostles were illiterate, one should have been a St. Paul? 
The " all things " which he counted loss were what the world val- 
ued ; and, great as may have been his success among the Gentiles, 
is his example useless now ? Ah, how often has every mission- 
ary thanked God for the record of a St. Paul ! Do you not re- 
member, dear Mary, that there were none whose minds compre- 
hended oar blessed Lord while He labored on earth ? but the 
lesson was for future — yes, for all future time. " How fruitless," 
one might have said, at the period of Mrs. Judson's sufferings, 
" how fruitless, that one of her talents should be wasted in prison 
and sickness in a heathen land ! " Yet how many has her Chris- 
tian heroism stirred ! to how many does she yet speak ! Bo not 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 159 

a Martyn, a Heber, tell more on the world than men of ordinary- 
gifts ? And you must never forget that the missionary has a mis- 
sion to the world, as well as to a particular heathen nation ; for 
says St. Paul, " We are spectacles to the world." But to return 
again to myself. Dear Mary, if a child of God, there is much to 
be done in me before I go to enjoy His presence ; and I have 
often felt that, though I should accomplish no good here visibly, 
yet that, for my own benefit, I ought to desire to have been a 
missionary. Some plants are best nourished by gentle dews and 
rains ; others must thrive in storms and cold climes. Painful has 
been the discipline that led, and, I hope, in some measure prepared 
me to become a missionary to these distant shores ; painful, most 
painful, and known only to God, have been some of the mental 
trials by which I have been further fitted for duty. My calling is 
not easy to the flesh ; but shall I not " covet earnestly the best 
gifts " ? Shall I not rather desire the " baptism " with which our 
Savior was baptized, and wish to be "partaker of his sufferings " ? 
For myself, then, though I often feel the conflict taxes my every 
energy, and throws me in my weakness upon Him whose " strength 
is thus made perfect ; " though my weak heart would sometimes 
fail, and cry for rest and indulgence, yet He, whose call and ser- 
vice I follow, has not — I feel sure will not — be unfaithful to His 
promise of the " one hundredfold in this life." I have tasted bit- 
terer, deeper grief in various ways, my dear Mary, since I left 
America, than I ever did before ; and, to the praise of my faithful 
God I must record it, I have also tasted deeper, purer, intenser 
joy, such as the world gives not, and cannot take away. I am 
glad to perceive that your mind is awake to the question of mis- 
sions. Remember, it is a work as old as the time of the apostles 
(to go no farther back) ; and remember, too, while you look for 
and weigh all the indirect arguments for and the advantages of 
the missionary enterprise, remember the great argument, namely, 
our Lord's last command — what was it ? He died for us — why ? 
That they who live, should live unto Him — live to spread His 
truth — live to suffer for Him ! If the gospel be true, it is every- 
thing to the soul. Men spend thousands for a Sir John Franklin, 
for a suffering Hungary ; yes, men give their lives in such causes. 
Had we the faith which realizes spiritual things, as well as the 
minds which give a cold assent to their existence, there would be 
little need of argument, and less need of appeal to Christian be- 
nevolence. Remember, missions can take high ground. It is the 
cause of God, the cause of the Redeemer, the cause of benevo- 
lence, the cause of goodness. We can speak on the aggressive in 
their behalf, as well as on the defensive. There are, doubtless, 
many imperfect, injudicious, and unsuccessful individual mission- 



160 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

aries, and many efforts that seem to yield no fruit. There may 
be many things to censure in those who are " earthen vessels " to 
carry out the treasures of Divine truth and grace. But let me ask 
you to weigh matters in the nice balance of truth, of eternity, so 
far as the human mind can comprehend truth and eternity. There 
is one — Lafayette — whom all delight to honor. Have you never 
thought that many an unknown missionary has exercised a yet 
nobler self-sacrifice, and fought in a severer and more prolonged 
conflict — not, indeed, seeking or receiving glory from men, but 
looking for the approval of God, and all holy beings ? "With this 
thought I leave you, and could wish to see you a missionary to 
the u ignorant at home " — in your measure and sphere, a Fry or a 
Dix. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, May 29, 1852. 

* * * Your letters speak so fully of your u meetings," and 
of the circle of friends and of their affection for me, that I do 
indeed feel that I have a " home " in not a few Christian hearts ; 
and, though I am content to abide in my place, I confess I often 
long for that home where communion of heart is perfect, and 
never to be interrupted. I am truly cheered by letters which tell 
me of sympathy and of prayers. Could you look into my heart 
and see its frequent weakness, and its many conflicts with self and 
sin, you would realize how much need I have that Christian friends 
should pray for me. In the departure of one from among us 
(Mrs. Boone) ; in the temporary absence of Mr. and Mrs. Syle, 
and all the children of the mission except one ; in the suffering 
of our Bishop from ill health, and his wife's absence ; and in the 
(but temporary, I hope) indifferent health of some others of the 
mission, and in the trials some of our scholars have given us, we 
have all felt a tax upon our hearts, upon our faith, upon our en- 
durance, such as has never been called for previously in the his- 
tory of the mission. Do not think us discouraged, but tried, as 
though we should faint. You can scarcely imagine how a mis- 
sion, so united as ours, feels the absence of one ; and such a wide 
separation — oh, it is painful beyond expression ! "What, then, 
must be the trial to our Bishop ! There are many at home who 
speak of children as rather a large tax and trouble in a mission ; 
but I must maintain that their presence is a sunshine with us, 
which, in our separation from home and friends, we could not well 
dispense with. I, for one, miss the children's presence painfully. 
And we cannot contemplate without sadness the absence of our 
Bishop, necessary though we feel it to be for him, and expedient 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 161 

for the mission. "We are exiles, and, though willing ones, we are 
not insensible to the pain. 

TO MISS EMMA LEWIS, BROOKLYN, N. Y. 

Shanghai, May 31, 1852. 

I wish, my dear Emma, you could have been with us yester- 
day in our humble chapel. [Here follows an account of the bap- 
tism of some Chinese converts.] * * * "While we feel how 
small is the number compared with the mass around, we remem- 
ber there are missionaries who have labored twelve and twenty 
years, and seen none, or but one convert, to encourage their 
hearts. And when we contrast the few Christian laborers in 
China with its millions of population, it may well be asked, 
11 What are these among so many ? " And still the question may 
serve to give us the answer, by reminding us of that Power which 
could make the five loaves and the few small fishes serve to feed 
thousands. "Well may we increasingly put up the petition, " Lord, 
increase our faith ; " while, like the husbandman, we must have 
" long patience " in waiting for the harvest. Ah, with what long 
patience does our Master wait for fruits of righteousness from 
those who have been redeemed that they might live unto Him ! 
How patiently does He give us " line upon line," and wait for us 
to learn His gracious lessons ! * * * 

Thus, in anxiety, in tears, in fears, yet in hope, we try to sow 
the seed, not forgetting the promise that we shall reap in due sea- 
son, and, doubtless, reap rejoicing. But, come what will, I would 
be here rather than in any other field of labor the world could 
offer me. It is one of the greatest blessings and comforts to be 
able to feel that one is in just the place to which God has called. 

TO MISS PLTJMER. 

Shanghai, June 2, 1852. 

My dear Mary : I broke off abruptly at my last date ; but 
another opportunity occurs to reach the mail, which will leave 
Hong Kong the 26th of this month, so I will resume the " thread 
of discourse." I cannot let you say it is evident that married 
ladies can do no good, and that, if I wish to do good, I must re- 
main single. Not that I have any idea of getting married ; but 
I must insist that married ladies are no less useful here, though 
useful differently. 'Twould be a cheerless home without them, 
even for us single ladies, if it were proper we should come (which 
it would not be if there were not married ladies). You would 
think it hard to condemn ministers at home, and devotedly pious 
ladies, to a single life, "because they could do more good." Much 



162 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

less should it be in a heathen land, where there are less resources 
for the mind, less general society to cheer the spirits, and less in 
the general relations of life to sustain the heart. I realize this 
the more myself as Mrs. Boone is now away in America, and 
Mrs. Syle is absent on a long visit to Ningpo. They have taken 
the children, too — five in all — and it is distressingly quiet and 
desolate. The domestic relations, and the sweet faces of chil- 
dren, cheer the sad and weary, and we need them here. But mis- 
sionaries' wives often do much direct good, if they have talent and 
health ; and not at home do all ministers' wives have talent and 
health. The best way to think of missionaries, is just as you 
would of other good people at home, and of their work only as 
more self-denying. In them there are all the varieties of charac- 
ter and piety. As to that other idea, dear Mary, that I could 
work to more effect at home, as I have been thinking of my 
labors here, so humble compared with what they might be at 
home, I have thought that it all agreed with the general dealing 
of Providence with me ever since I entered upon life in earnest. 
My plans, wishes, hopes, affections, have constantly been disap- 
pointed, and the whole plan seems more against my pride than 
against any other fault. And you cannot have been blind to my 
proneness to intellectual pride — and here there is nothing to draw 
it out : to teach little children — to plod at a dull language (the 
colloquial), the more admired faculties of mind sleeping in 
silence. But is not this good for me ? I verily believe so ; my 
pride is so active a principle, it needs severest pruning. It seems 
to me that, of all people, my nature was farthest from the Christ- 
like disposition ; and if ever I become like Him, it must be 
through a discipline most crossing to natural bias. I used to for- 
get, in purposing to do good for others, that a no less important 
question was, how and what good is to be done in one's self. 
And, dear Mary, it was only a year or two before leaving Amer- 
ica that I realized something of what must be wrought in me to 
fit me for usefulness ; much more- do I realize it now, and pain- 
fully do I see how much is to be done in me. For my own sake, 
then, China is a profitable field, though an arduous one. May 
God in great mercy sustain me in it ! 

"We were permitted, last Sunday, to witness in our school 
chapel the baptism of one of our pupils, and of one of our teach- 
ers, the latter sixty years old. You can imagine how affecting it 
was to hear them confess their faith, and to see them admitted to 
the Christian fold. "With them stood four others, their witnesses 
— Chinese converts — two already candidates for the ministry, and 
one other now in deacon's orders. The old man seems always to 
realize so deeply the value of the soul ! 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 163 

In contrast to that scene, one has just met my eye as I was 
writing — a heathen funeral ! All are dressed in coarse white cloth, 
and white streamers from their heads, weeping and wailing and 
making a great clamor, with quantities of silver paper to burn at 
the tomb of the dead man ! Death, at best, is awful ; but, in 
such darkness, how doubly fearful ! Shrill music accompanied the 
mourners, and, afterward, feasts are celebrated. This country 
around is covered with thick tumuli, in which the dead are depos- 
ited ; but the dead are not put in the ground for many days after 
the death. Oh ! when shall the true light shine over all the 
earth ? 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, July 17, 1852. 

Never suppose for a moment, my dear Mrs. Gordon, that 
your letters are "dull" to me. You do not know what a satisfac- 
tion it is to me always to look for and always to receive your let- 
ters. * * * 

Your church seem to be active in every good work. Before 
long I will try to gratify your request that I would write to the 
ladies of your missionary circle. I had no idea it included so 
many ladies. When I sit down to write, I cannot get rid of the 
impression, " Surely they know all about what I am going to 
write." * * * 

I am glad E. L. is to be so happily married. Happy they, 
who, with affectionate natures, are permitted to pass from a 
parent's roof to a protection even dearer ; who are spared long 
and lonely years of pain, struggles, and disappointments ! Give 
my kind love to your little flock. I hope to write them by the 
u Nestorian." Ever yours, gratefully and affectionately, 

Caboline P. Tenney. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Sept. 2, 1852. 

My dear Brother: I greatly thank you for the Life of 
Margaret Fuller Ossoli. It has greatly interested me, but almost 
always with a melancholy interest — melancholy, because I see 
great powers wasted in dreams ; because I see an ardent mind 
fevered with conflict, and without the calming influences of sim- 
ple faith, of firm belief; because I see the woman? s nature strug- 
gling as vainly as ever to find satisfying happiness, and rest of the 
spirit, in the exercise of the intellect ; because I see (and ah ! how 
deeply I can sympathize with) the yearning for affection that was 
denied her, the homesickness of heart that knows no balm ! This 
interest was the more profound, because I see in her temperament 



164 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

and in her aspirations, in her " resolves " and in her failures, in 
her efforts and in her sufferings, so much of my own peculiar dis- 
position. Had I read Latin at six years, and sat up studying till 
eleven or twelve ; had I been able to dive into German while in 
my teens ; had I had the stimulus of intellectual society, while I 
should always have had less power than Margaret, I should have 
been as wild and as unhappy. Have you read her life ? — if so, 
did you not think of me ? And did you not send it to me from 
an idea that there was a similarity of temperament, &c. ? If not, 
you will read it — won't you ? How often I was intensely excited 
by it ! how often, nay, how constantly I felt the deepest pity ! 
They tell of her life, her cheerfulness in society ; but in all her 
letters there is a deep minor saddening the refrain. I was re- 
freshed, near the close, by the welling up of healthy affection and 
healthy joys in the relation of wife and mother. Then she had 
her real troubles (not that the others were not real to the spirit) — 
that is, worldly misfortunes ; but there is health in her complaints ; 
/the fever of life had cooled, the excessive self-love given way to 
an evidently deepening devotioTr^'T'tfeT otefl "irusband, and to a 
winning child. Truly, to me her life was just become hopeful for 
good — satisfying good — as she was taken from life. Of her early 
childhood life she says : "I saw no persons who took my fancy, 
and real life offered no attractions." I thought of New Market. 
What she says of friends, on page 37, vol. i., is according to my 
own experience. I number a few such, for whom I am " more 
for having met them. And oh ! is not this true of me ? But 
you know not, for you have not felt how true. " My book life 
and lonely habits had given a cold aloofness to my whole expres- 
sion^ and veiled my manner with a hauteur which turned all hearts 
away ; " and there is a dear English friend here who says to me, 
" You would look lonely, one by yourself in the happiest circle." 
Then, on page 42, she says — and that, oh, how true of me, and 
how unfortunate so to be ! — " She was very loving, and even in- 
fatuated in her own affections, and exacted from those who had 
professed any love for her the devotion she was willing to be- 
stow." " There was a vein of caprice in her character, which 
made her at times wish to retire apart ; and at these times she 
would expect to be entirely understood, and let alone," &c. And 
again : u My intellect is not well disciplined." " She was (in 
early life), to the multitude, a haughty, supercilious person ; while, 
to those whom she loved, she was all the more gentle, tender, and 
true." " It is my nature, and has been the tendency of my life, 
to wish that all my deeds and thoughts might lie as the open 
secrets of nature, free to all who are able to understand them." 
"Faith is not natural to me, nor can I persist in believing the best 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 165 

to save myself pain." " Her mind was masculine ; that is, deter- 
mined by ideas rather than sentiments ; " ' - her ' yes ' and ' no ' 
were never conventional ; " " she was dogmatic, and not creative." 
— But I must call your attention to another passage, in which I 
must plead a humble but an unfortunate sympathy. " I have felt 
that I was not born to the common womanly lot. I knew I should 
never find a being who could keep the key of my character ; that 
there would be none on earth on whom I could always lean " 
(mark how the strongest woman needs a leaning place) ; " that I 
should be a pilgrim and sojourner on earth ; that the birds and the 
foxes would be surer of a place to lay the head than I. You un- 
derstand me, of course ; such beings can only find their homes in 
hearts; all material luxuries are mere conveniences to them." 
Again : "I have been a sister to many, a brother to more, a fostering 
nurse ; the bridal hour of many a spirit when first it was wed I 
have shared, but said l adieu 1 before the wine was poured out." "I 
thought myself so very independent because I could conceal some 
feelings at will, and did not need the same excitement as some 
young characters did. But I am not independent, nor ever shall 
be, while I can get anybody to minister to me." " How tiresome 
it is to find out all one's self a delusion ! " " This aim, from first 
to last, was self-culture" a Very early in life I knew that the 
only object in life was to grow." I shall never finish the passages 
that touch on my own experience ; but I must quote a little more 
yet. The writer (J. F. C.) says : " Full of a profound tendency 
toward life, capable of an ardent love, her affections were thrown 
back on her heart, to become stagnant, and for a while to grow 
bitter there. Then it was that she felt how empty and worthless 
were all the attainments or triumphs of the mere intellect ; then 
it was that she went about to cause her heart to despair of all the 
labor she had taken under the sun." " Had she not emerged 
from this valley of the shadow of death, and come on to a higher 
plane of conviction and hope, her life would have been a most 
painful tragedy." And then it was that she found, after a bitter 
struggle, " that she had only to live in the idea of the all, and the 
all was hers." Idea similar to, but expression different from 
Madame Guyon. "Heaven's discipline has been invariable to 
me. The seemingly most pure and noble hopes have been blight- 
ed, the seemingly most promising connections broken. The lesson 
has been endlessly repeated. Be humble, be patient, self-sustain- 
ing ; hope only for occasional aids ; love others, but not engross- 
ingly ; for, by being much alone, your appointed work can best be 
done ! What a weary work is before me, ere that lesson shall be 
fully learned ! " And then, in her efforts at teaching, how she 
tries, and persuades herself that her effort is successful — to rejoice 



166 MEMOIK OF MBS. KEITH. 

in sorrow — to rise superior to difficulties and pain ! And then, 
her meeting with and mention of Dr. Channing are so like what I 
would have supposed. Her impetuosity, pride, self-esteem, &c., 
would repel him. How she calls herself "regal," and the like ! 
As the writer remarks, " Some phrase betrayed the mountainous 
me" " Her humility was always an afterthought " — " of a dis- 
position that requires the most refined, the most exalted tender- 
ness, without charms to inspire it ! " "I am not fitted to be 
loved, and it pains me to have close dealings with those who do 
not love, to whom my feelings are strange." " Kindness and 
esteem are very well, but those alone are not worth feelings such 
as mine." " No one loves me ; but I love many a good deal." 
M It is mockery thus to play the artist with life, and dip the brush 
in one's own heart's blood" " The maiden grows weary of pack- 
ing the trunk" " Once again I am willing to take up the cross of 
loneliness. Resolves are idle ; but the anguish of my soul has been 
deep" " In the restlessness of the intellect was the confession 
her heart had found no home ; " " her absorption in study the 
natural vent of emotions which had met no object," &c. " Many 
of her peculiarities became intelligible ; fitfulness, unlooked-for 
changes of mood, misconceptions of words and actions, were now 
referred to the morbid influence of affections pent up to prey upon 
themselves." u I suffer great fatigue from living. Father, I am 
weary." Again : "I have accepted all, and yet there will come 
these hours of weariness." Then comes her allusion to a season 
of peculiar illumination, when she was " all radiant with faith and 
love and life." And then the brightness passed away, and she 
says the u path looks more difficult." " Let me clasp the cross to 
my heart, as I have done a thousand times before." M Life is 
richly worth living, with its continual revelations of mighty woe, 
yet infinite hope." " The very keenness of her sensibility ex- 
posed her to constant disappointment and disgust." No friend 
could meet the demand of desires so eager, sympathies so absorb- 
ing." u The method of Providence with me is that of cross- 
biassing." " There was much rude matter that needed spiritual- 
izing." " The Great Spirit wished to leave me no refuge but 
itself," and " has chosen the time when no ray came from without 
to descend upon the orphan life." " My conviction is clear that 
all my troubles are needed, and that no one who has had so much 
light thrown upon their path has an excuse for faltering steps." 
She deems that the hours of pain far outnumber those of happi- 
ness. " Eenunciation is a work to be done over and over again." 
a I am deeply homesick — yet, where is that home t n "I would 
fain truly live wherever I must abide, and bear with full energy 
my lot, whatever it is." " Yet my hand is often languid, and my 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 167 

heart is slow." " We cannot live and grow alone." " Let us 
learn to stand up and bless the world." " I have suffered greatly, 
till the tone of my spirit seems destroyed." " Obstruction to the 
development of her genius, and loneliness of heart, were the very 
nirnace to burn the dross from the gold." " Self-love had become 
so excessive, that only severest discipline could transmute it to 
disinterestedness." " Her morbid subjectivity might, by conta- 
gion, have affected others with undue self-consciousness I " ili Sin- 
cere has been their striving, great their love, is a sufficient apology 
for any life." " She never attempted to make the unhappy feel 
that their miseries were unreal 1 " The characteristic part to 
which all others were subordinate was " sympathy" " We will 
resolutely deserve to be happy." "Resigned, I could do well; 
happy, I could do excellently." (Oh, those happy hours of last 
winter 1 how easily, how rapidly I learned !) " Life has fatigued 
me." " The intensity of passion, which so often unfits me for 
life, is to be moderated, not into dulness " (alas ! mine — C. P. T. 
— is now dulness), u but into a gentler energy." " Woman is 
born for love, and it is impossible to turn her from seeking it." 
" If you fall, rise on your feet once more, and struggle bravely 
on." " Man's seventy years of chrysalis — is it not too long ? " 
And there is a passage — oh ! how deeply have I felt so — how 
increasingly do I feel so : " There comes a consciousness that I 
have no real hold on life — no real, permanent connection with any 
soul. I seem a wandering intelligence, driven from spot to spot." 
" I do not see how I shall go through this destiny. I can, if it is 
mine ; but I do not feel that I can I " Her letters from Europe 
excited in me less pain, because, in the excitement, she sometimes 
forgot to mourn ; and in her last relations it was refreshing to see 
the natural affections filling and satisfying all her soul. — I may 
have wearied you with these various and prolonged extracts ; but 
they have afforded me diversion while writing. I have, as it 
were, cheated myself with the idea that I was talking with you. 
I am trying earnestly and constantly to again cultivate my intel- 
lect ; for I must spend my energies somewhere, and in Chinese 
affairs I do nob now find food enough for thought. *' Oh, the 
fatigue of life ! " How long and weary looks the future ! But I 
cease for the present — will add another small sheet, at least, be- 
fore closing. 

TO MISS ALMIRA OSBORNE. 

Shanghai, Sept. 2, 1852. 

* * * Since my last letter to you, I have known a world 
of joy, and not a little of sorrow. You know that, with me, the 
tear shades the smile, and the smile chases the tear. 



168 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

How often I wish I could see my aunt ! How often, too, as I 
think of her, do I remember all her kindness, and patience with 
my wild waywardness, when I first came to your house ! Indeed, 
the longer I live, the more deeply and fully I understand and feel 
how few would have borne with my faults as you all did. But 
you saw that, in all and underneath all, there was a warm, fresh 
heart yearning for love and sympathy. Do write oftener. Do 
not think you have nothing of interest to say. Were I to step 
in now, would you have nothing to say ? I want to be able to 
see and think of you all in your daily life. 

How long the period, when I look back to 1839 ! how 
chequered with vicissitude, disappointment, exquisite joys and 
bitter griefs I 

I am beginning to find more time for general reading than I 
did the first year I came. I remember what intense energy I 
used to have for reading, when I first went to Danvers, and how 
I told aunt that " I never should go to sleep without having read 
some during the day ; " and those times I used to grudge time to 
sleep. This summer, many times I have found myself so weary- 
as to go to bed at eight o'clock. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Sept. 11, 1852. 

* * * Have you ever read Henry Martyn's Life ? I was 
induced to look at it again, the other day, for the first time since 
entering on the realities of missionary life, to see whether I could 
find in his records of feeling any similarity to or excuse for my 
own struggles. And, verily, I found that not in mere generals, 
but in specific and most exquisite sorrows, his difficulties were not 
unlike mine. 

TO THE SAME 

Shanghai, Sept. 14, 1852. 

* * * The future looks so long and dreary ! Mind, do 
not reveal my real state to any one, especially not to my New 
York cousins, for they live too near my " Brooklyn friends." 
Oh ! were it not for my connection with them, I should sink. But 
they do so much for me, they look so to me, that I feel I must 
keep up. 

I am aware my letters to all my correspondents now must lack 
soul and enthusiasm ; and mine to you, when not distressing, must 
be exceedingly dull. But you must know that it is not because I 
love you less — for you are now all to which my love can cling 
with certainty. May your present sunshine long continue un- 
clouded. Yours ever, " C. P. Tennet. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 169 

TO MBS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

It is with real satisfaction that I take up my pen to write a 
few words to one upon whom I now have claim as a sister ; and 
it will not need many words, surely, to convince her that one de- 
voted to the happiness of a brother so dear to me must have a 
place in my affection. And, aside from that, for your own sake, 
my dear sister, I am sure you deserve, and be assured you receive, 
my full confidence and cordial welcome. Far distant as I am, it 
is but imperfectly that I can express my sisterly regard ; yet it is 
not impossible that we may yet meet face to face, and be destined 
to pass many days together. * * * 

I shall hope to hear from your own pen before very long, and 
beg you to believe me, very sincerely and affectionately, your 
sister, Caroline. 

TO MR. AND MES. RICHARD OSBORNE. 

Shanghai, Oct. 22, 1852. 

Mr dearest Uncle and Aunt : I must indulge myself in 
the pleasure of writing a few lines to you directly, to thank you 
for the representation of yourselves you have sent me. There 
was nothing I could have expected less ; there is nothing of the 
kind I could value more. I do not know when anything has 
given me so much pleasure as that package which came in upon 
me so unexpectedly. When my brother's likeness came, this 
summer, it was some time before I could summon courage to look 
at it ; and whenever I did so, it caused me so many tears, that I 
felt it my duty to put it out of my sight. That was the reason I 
would not bring any daguerreotypes with me. I knew they would 
excite feelings of pain, which would do me no good. I am not 
one of those who can bear to walk in graveyards, and by the 
graves of those I loved ; nor is it well for me to allow myself to 
think much of past hours, and of absent loved ones. But, 
although I love you both so dearly — the more dearly the longer 
I live, and the more I see of the world and its friendships ; though 
I love you next my brother, and hope that you love me next your 
children, yet I could look on your likeness without tears — yes, 
with unmingled pleasure. The faces looked so kindly upon me ! 
and I knew, if the lips had language, they would speak so kindly 
to me ! I cannot tell you how much I shall prke this keepsake. 
And I know my uncle will be pleased to hear that everybody fan- 
cied the " old lady," and everybody said, " These are good peo- 
'ple ! " I think I hear Almira say, in reply to these last words, 
" Of course, I should expect people would know they were good, 
as soon as their faces were seen." I am so glad I sent you the 
8 



170 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

cane ; you will be obliged to think of me so often. Now that I 
know I can send so direct, I will try to send some other memen- 
toes, that you can constantly use ; and something from me in 
China will be ten times as valuable as it could be from me at 
home. I wish I could happen in and spend another evening with 
you ; but the clippers have not made it quite practicable yet ; but 
I hope, whenever I do return, I shall find my dearest uncle and 
aunt still living to welcome their ever-affectionate and grateful 
niece, C. P. T. 

JOURNAL (FOR MISS PLUMER). 

So, my dear Mary, now for the journal. You shall have it, 
commencing with October 26th [1852]. At eight p. m. we start- 
ed in the boats to come to these hills ; but the noise of the boat- 
men and my own excited state equally drove away sleep. The 
next morning I felt weary and stupid enough. The hills soon 
appeared, about as high, certainly not higher, than that hill to the 
north of your house — is it not Fogg's Hill, where the big tree is ? 
You will laugh, as I did, to think we had come so many miles to 
see a few hills no larger than that ! But if I have ever told you, 
and if you can realize what it is to live in a country as level as 
the most level plain you ever saw, and that in no quarter is the 
line of the horizon broken by a hill, you will not wonder that we 
should come to see a hill once in several years, even though it be 
thirty miles distant. Upon these hills imagine no "tall oaks," or 
large, symmetrical trees of any kind, but only groves of bamboo 
trees interspersed with dwarf evergreens, and some other crooked 
and puny trees. The bamboo, you know, is a grass, attaining its 
full height and size the first year, but remaining on the ground a 
year or two to harden. The height is from ten to one hundred 
feet, probably, and the diameter from one inch to many, without 
branches, only grassy sprinkles. It is, one might venture to say, 
the most useful wood in this part of China. In its young state 
the root makes a very nice vegetable ; and, when grown, it is 
used to make innumerable articles, many of which are elegantly 
carved ; and in this country, where man is the beast of burden, 
the bamboo forms an elastic rod to place across the shoulders. 
But now for the ascent of these mighty hills ! Remember, it is 
an enterprise for such a lowlander as I ! I thought but little of 
it, however, and was skipping toward the top till my speed ex- 
hausted my strength. I was eager to reach the top, so anxious 
was I once more to look from a hill. But the top continued to 
remove, and the unevenness made me even say to myself, " Alps 
on Alps." So soon was my tune changed ! At last I reached 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 171 

the top, and was well repaid. The "Hills" are an irregular 
group of some eight or ten, in a perfectly level country. Look 
from the top of the highest in all or any direction, and the hori- 
zon line is as perfect as though you were on the ocean and out of 
sight of land, except in two points, each about thirty miles off. I 
do not know that you have ever been on the sea, out of sight of 
land, and in consequence understand the feeling of sublimity ex- 
cited by a view of the expanse. The view from these " Hills " 
excites a kindred though much weaker emotion. Look where 
you will, one wide, wide plain, intersected with innumerable canals 
of greater or less width, upon which, perhaps, are seen boats laden 
with produce, and from which the fertile fields are watered like a 
garden. Travellers say, indeed, that this plain is unequalled in 
the world for extent and fertility. Not a road, not a fence, not a 
stone is to be seen ! Not an inch of ground is wasted, so beauti- 
fully are the beds (for the fields look like " garden beds ") adjusted 
to the windings of the canals. The rows in which these " beds " 
are cultivated seem straight as a line can make them. Wheat, 
rice, and other vegetables, some just being reaped, others just 
sprung up, and others just being sown, give these gardens a look 
of variety most pleasing. All over this plain, at very frequent 
intervals, hamlets are dotted, relieved always by groups of trees. 
There are never houses without some trees, looking finely in the 
distance, but slender and crooked on nearer view — in form, though 
not in leaf, resembling a scrawny elm. No horses or cows in- 
trude in these fields ; but upon the hills, or amid these hamlets, 
you see a few goats (for they have no sheep) and a few buffaloes. 
These last are very ugly, stupid-looking animals, with thick, hori- 
zontal horns, no hair, and led by the nose with a rope, needing 
frequent bathing for their health. There is also a kind of cow, but 
peculiar in its shape, and hornless. Indeed, all the animals, of 
whatever class, differ in shape from those of the same class in the 
"West. The horse is thickset and ugly ; the pigs and the hens 
tall, and too often lean ! Everywhere we see the people gather- 
ing their grain or picking their cotton. The year has been one of 
plentiful harvests, and everywhere the people look cheerful ; and, 
though their dwellings are rude and their clothes coarse and scan- 
ty, there are none who bear marks of suffering. 

October 27th. — Again, this morning, we left our boats for a 
walk upon a hill, a great part of which was terraced, and used for 
tombs. Here and there we met a stone doorway, as it were, with 
carvings and inscriptions overhead, through which some tomb could 
be approached. At one or two of these some fine tall trees were 
standing, and must have been planted many years ago ; at others, 
lions cut in stone guarded the entrance. You know the Chinese 



172 MEMOIR OF MKS. KEITH. 

tombs — all that I have seen — are moundlike, on the top of the 
earth. Around Shanghai, as I have probably told you, these 
mounds are thickly set. At first I could never look out, or walk 
out, without feeling that I was walking among the dead ; but 
now I am scarcely conscious of their presence. And so it is in 
walking among these heathen, these spiritually dead ; we are in 
danger of becoming insensible to what is so familiar. At length, 
becoming weary, I had recourse to my " mountain chair." Shall 
I describe it for you ? That is easily done. Imagine a seat, and 
some support for the feet, swung upon two poles, and at the ends 
of these poles two cross bars, and these placed upon men's shoul- 
ders. Imagine me thus swung in the air, and carried up the hills 
by two strong men ! That seems truly Oriental — does it not ? 
Passing around the hill, at the foot were several pretty enclosures 
for cemeteries, with imposing entrances. At the door of a cot- 
tage I perceived a girl of about ten years old weeping, and her 
mother sitting near. Looking more attentively, I perceived that 
the mother held the girl's foot in her hand. I gave an inquiring 
look, and the mother jumped up, and exultingly showed me the 
other foot, which was nicely bound, and was quite small for a girl 
of her size. I shook my head, and passed on to wonder at so 
cruel a custom. You know, Chinese men say it was invented to 
keep the women at home ; but some of the women stump along 
with great speed. To me it is painful still to see them walk ; but 
more painful still to think what thousands suffer by this foolish 
custom. Farther on, I passed the machine peculiar to China- — 
that is, for watering their rice fields. Remember, that some — in- 
deed, many of the fields of this plain — are scarcely elevated above 
the canals. Of course, embankments are raised, as along the Mis- 
sissippi ; but the rice fields must be overflowed. A buffalo is 
attached, blindfold, to a wheel. One wheel, by its cogs, turns a 
cylinder ; the cylinder causes a series of buckets to revolve, bring- 
ing up the water into the field. In this way it takes days to fill a 
field. The machines for shelling out the grain to us seem rude, 
and are turned by hand. Machinery after the "Western fashion 
would starve millions. The feeling that the Chinese are a pecu- 
liar people increases upon one day by day. 

October 29th. — One of the hills here is called " Pagoda Hill ; " 
and I need not describe a pagoda, for your memory recalls the 
picture of the Porcelain Tower at Nankin in all our childish 
geographies. To this pagoda, by the help of my chair bearers, I 
ascended. It is a ruin, but the view from the foot was charming. 
We were almost encircled by hills, except at one side opening 
toward the south, where the plain lies in beauty before us. The 
poet could here revel in his dreams, and imagine that those ham- 



MISSIONARY LIFE.' 173 

lets embosomed in trees were the abodes of innocence and peace ; 
but the Bible gives us a far different description of the nations 
that know not God. At the foot of the hill were the ruins of a 
temple, in which was an old idol, and the old bell which is struck 
when it is desired that the god should attend to his worshippers. 
A number of filthy, miserable beggars sheltered themselves here. 
We ascended still higher, to the summit of the hill ; and the scene 
of its kind certainly could not be surpassed. The plain, as level 
as the ocean on a calm day, stretching away on either side to the 
distance of some eighteen or twenty miles, rich as a garden, yel- 
low with ripe grain, or green with springing crops — and then let 
the imagination stretch on for miles and miles beyond. But does 
not one sad thought arise ? These millions of human beings know 
not their Creator ! They worship a vain thing as Maker of this 
beautiful earth and the heavens above. Swarms of smiling chil* 
dren attend our path, and these, too, will grow up ignorant of 
God. Oh ! Mary, is it not a thought to pain the inmost soul, 
while it excites to earnest endeavor ? Oh ! Mary, try to estimate 
the value of the Christian hope, and then try to estimate your 
obligations to Him who has so richly blessed you. — We moved 
off from our mooring this eve to another hill, which, though really 
very near us, required quite a sweep of the canal to reach with 
our boats. Imagine me seated on the deck of a boat (built by 
foreigners for such excursions), my umbrella over my head, in one 
hand a book entitled u Body and Soul," in which I now and then 
read a sentence as food for reverie ; my dear friend Mrs. H., with 
her little son, at my side, discoursing sweet music from her " Con- 
certina ; " near me a Chinese boy, and the nurse. In our train 
were some Chinese boats, in some of which there was curious 
carving, and a sail covered with Chinese characters. The Chinese 
boats are not rowed like ours, but by one huge oar in the stern. 
We pass slowly along the bank, returning the gaze of the Chinese 
who rush to the bank for a close look, laying away stores of en- 
joyment in the future memories. Here and there a blindfold buf- 
falo, turning the wheel which raises the water for the rice fields, 
seemed to demand our commiseration. Arrived at our destined 
hill, we sprang out for a ramble. The scene from the top of the 
hill was much the same as I have heretofore described ; but, in 
winding around it, at the foot, we came in front of a Buddhist 
monastery, like the monasteries of Europe, built in the finest sites. 
Its succession of buildings, its tiled roofs, its red walls, enclosures, 
its stone steps winding in every direction to the top of the hill, 
the numerous trees relieving its walls, the evening sun gilding the 
summit of the hill, which rose even above the monastery, the 
plain on the other side — all made a scene of beauty only marred 



174 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

by the reflection that this is a spot peculiarly dedicated to false 
gods and to degrading worship. 

October 30th. — This morning we strolled to the monastery. 
How would you feel, dear Mary, could you for one hour be trans- 
ported to a heathen land, and find yourself winding up a long and 
steep ascent of stone steps, amid trees strange to your sight, and 
toward a temple of false gods ? As we paused at various points, 
the view through the trees was lovely. On one of the terraces 
entering an apartment we met the " abbot," with shaven head 
and a peculiar cap. He tells us he has lived there fifty years. 
As it was not the hour for prayers, we saw none at their devo- 
tions, and none but the lay brothers, and little boys who are to 
grow up there. You would often be reminded of Romanism in 
the various niches, where are divinities of various kinds. In one 
room is a multitude of deities, besides the chief god of the Taou- 
ist. On the tables lie the book of prayers and the hollow wood, 
in form like to a human head, and painted red, and the mallet 
wherewith to beat the wood ; for you must know that, while the 
priest repeats his prayers, it is necessary to pound on the wood, 
that the noise may retain the attention of the god. Near the 
door is a huge bell, which must also be struck several times at the 
beginning, to attract the notice of the god. Here they come to 
knee], and mutter prayers, and burn incense, and give offerings. 
How wonderful it is that man can be so perverse and stupid as to 
carve an image, and then fall down and worship it ! Yet how 
strong must be his propensity to idolatry, how alienated the heart 
of man from the true, the holy God, when such an one as Solo- 
mon, wise above all men, and at one time pouring forth the most 
devout and eloquent prayer, which was accepted in a remarkable 
manner, and, after all this, turning to idols ! They told us this 
temple, or monastery, had been built four hundred years. It had 
doubtless been repaired several times, and was now in a tolerable 
state of preservation. Most of the temples that I have seen are 
neglected and decaying. This, probably, is a favorite spot. How 
imposing, in the palmy days of the Taouist sect, must have been 
an array of priests, with banners and music, winding up this hill for 
their worship ! Oh, when shall not only every idol temple be de- 
molished, but when shall the hearts of men own and obey the living 
God ! Surely here " every prospect pleases, and only man is vile." 
Sin, sin alone it is that weans us from this world, and makes us 
long for another. Java — where we stayed for a day or two — oh, 
how lovely it was ! a scene worthy of paradise — but man so pain- 
fully degraded ! Dear Mary, can we, who have the gospel, ever 
do enough to prove our gratitude for it ? — And now I must bring 
my journal and letter to an end. I hope I have not wearied you, 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 175 

though I feel all the time that I am not a good describer ; but I 
have at least proved my wish to give you pleasure. To-morrow 
we shall spend our Sabbath here, in a spot where not one beside 
ourselves knows or believes in the God of the Sabbath. "We have 
with us servants who have often heard the gospel, but believe it 
not. — And now, once more, farewell. Should we meet no more 
on earth, may we so live as to meet in heaven, to hear our Lord's 
best commendation : " She hath done what she could." 



" Hills," 30 miles from Shanghai, Oct. 29, 1852. 

My ever dear Mary : Yours of July is before me ; and the 
leisure afforded me by this short excursion gives me unusual op- 
portunity to comply with your insatiable desire for ''long letters" 
and "journal letters." There are several reasons why I have 
failed to do this hitherto. First, my life is very uniform, and its 
outer aspect uninteresting ; second, when some days or weeks of 
greatest interest occur, I am too busy to record them ; or if not, 
probably some other letters, which it may be my most pressing 
duty to write, get the journals which my friend Mary wishes to 
see ; and last, but not least, because I am not given to narrative 
and description, and can never do it with the ease and satisfaction 
I find in a different style of letter writing. Everything, it seems, 
has to come through my mind and be wrought over in its thought 
and coloring. It will not be easy always to avoid this habit, 
founded on my nature ; but, for your sake, I will try. * * * 
I have now been two years and eight months from America, and 
I have written three hundred and twenty-five letters, and received 
nearly two hundred. Some of these were written with care and 
thought, and many of them at great length. Nor do my corre- 
spondents drop off; they rather increase, The number of per- 
sons to whom I have written, though not all regular correspond- 
ents, must be greatly over fifty. You see, then, that I cannot 
give to all my friends the minute letters they would like ; for thus 
I should spend most of my life in writing my own history. 



TO MRS. GORDON. 

November 4, 1852. 

* * * I have felt much benefited by this little trip — the 
first time in which I have been absent a night (we shall have 
been absent ten days) ; and I may add, I have felt my interest in 
China, and my anxiety that the Chinese should have the gospel, 
deepened very sensibly. 

November Qth. — I find myself once more in my pleasant sleep- 
ing room, made so comfortable by the kindness of so many kind 



176 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

friends. * * * Instead of wandering about among the 
"Hills," and soliloquizing to-day, I am immersed in thoughts 
about clothing, and cares for the coming winter. 

TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, November, 1852. 

Dear Sir : As, in one of your letters, you expressed the 
wish that I should give you some report of matters in which I am 
engaged in China, I will attempt to comply with your request ; 
though the regularity and fulness of my usual letters leave me but 
little of new interest to report. 

After I had been here two weeks (ten days of which were 
vacation), I labored every day in school the full term of three 
hours, which is all that is ever devoted to teaching English. At 
first I took classes in arithmetic, spelling, and then the easier read- 
ing books, cards, &c. The class of largest boys, though more 
difficult in the matter of government, was less difficult in the mat- 
ter of instruction, as they could understand all my teachings in 
English. Among the small boys, I was obliged to give them the 
translation ; among the large boys, they gave it to me. Besides 
my regular teaching, there are a great many smaller indescribable 
duties and occupations, which are best described as maternal du- 
ties ; such as looking after the habits of the children in their 
rooms, as to their persons, and clothes. At some seasons of the 
year, the providing of clothes gives a great deal of care, and even 
anxiety ; since the allowance, being as small as possible, requires 
good management to meet all necessary provisions. Besides these 
engagements, I have endeavored to spend three hours per day 
with my Chinese teacher ; but during the past summer I have not 
always done this. During the past year I have been engaged in 
translating some of Parley's " Universal History," and am now as 
far as the seventy-third chapter. Besides this, I have been trying 
to form a small " Sunday Library," as it were, for the little girls, 
by translating the small tracts for children, being Scripture history 
and narrative. Of these I have completed about twelve, I think, 
and have also commenced, with one of the oldest pupils, the 
translation of " Henry and his Bearer." These are for the use 
of the girls ; and it gives me pleasure to think that, while I am 
one part of the day engaged with the boys, I can give a good 
part of my time to the girls. In the earlier part of the year I 
was engaged in reading the gospels in the colloquial dialect, and 
the catechisms and some of the gospels in the higher style. Mr. 
Keith is, for the present, to assist in teaching ; and, as I have full 
time and strength, I hope to do a great deal of studying, as well 
as teaching, the coming winter. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 177 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Dec. 31, 1852. 

* * * How shall I ever thank you enough, my dear Mrs. 
Gordon — how shall I ever repay you for all the kind interest you 
have taken in me ? How often it has cheered my heart ! And 
yet the thought has often arisen, "If she knew me better, would 
she love me as well ? " What you say of my letters, has often 
made me cheerful in the hope you have awakened, that I have 
written what may have excited an interest in the heathen, that 
will live, perhaps, in some hearts, when the writer has ceased to 
hold her pen. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Dec. 31, 1852. 

* * * Take comfort about me, dear brother. I am 
stronger now, and, though a stranger to happiness, I can live on 
calmly now. I will leave China, and come to you ; but it seems 
my duty to remain here at least till next autumn. Had not stern 
duty constrained, I should have left this last autumn ; though I 
cannot tell you how painful it is to think of giving up so glorious 
a cause, and of leaving these needy creatures. But let me take 
up your arguments. 

1st. My usefulness. As to direct and perceptible usefulness, 
I believe my mind could act with far, far greater effect at home. 
I know that, in the past, I have 'left a lasting impress and given 
a lasting impulse to minds by the utterance of thoughts which here 
I should never have occasion to breathe. I feel and see more 
than ever that it is through the intellect I am to move others, and 
do my best work. But then, my usefulness at home, through my 
letters, is quite equal to, if not greater than, my usefulness here ; 
and greater, perhaps, than it could be in any way if I went home. 
How can I resign such prospects ? 

2d. As to my health. It is perfectly good— wonderfully so ; 
for the agony of years ago was positively nothing to what I have 
endured here. But exercise, pressure of duty, and my own ex- 
perience of what was best to do to obtain sleep and swallow food, 
have kept me along ; so that although, in June, July, and Au- 
gust, I was a shadow, and weak (weighing only one hundred and 
twenty, against one hundred and forty-nine two years ago), I am 
now gaining flesh, and am as strong as ever. Yes, I did wish for 
death, and welcomed every symptom of decline, and the pain that 
for awhile I had daily in my side ; but now I thank God for 
health and strength, since I am thus saved from wearing out a 
useless as well as a joyless life. 

3d. My wretchedness from one cause would be lessened by 
8* 



178 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

return ; but oh ! would not the ghost of China haunt me ? and 
the interest it has had in my heart, what would fill that void ? 
Ordinary life would seem low and tame. 'Tis not the hope of 
happiness that impels my return, but that my best powers are 
crushed, and my energies withering, and I but half a missionary. 
* * * I must look well to it what account I can give to God. 
You say I have given proof of my self-sacrifice. "Why ! most 
people would say, " She has put her hand to the plough, and 

looked back." Nay, Mr. has accused me of this — God 

knows how unjustly ! 

TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, Jan. 1, 1853. 

Dear Sir : You have more than once requested me to keep 
something in the form of a "journal," to send home from time to 
time. My routine of life, however, seemed so monotonous, that I 
have never continued anything of the kind for any length of time. 
I feel inclined now to make the attempt again ; and, for variety's 
sake, it may be more acceptable than my usual letters. To-day, 
then, is Saturday — the closing day of the week, and the opening 
day of a new year. My first matter for attention, this morning, 
was to give my charge their clean clothes for the morrow, and in 
various little matters to attend to the servants. After this, in- 
stead of more serious occupation, it was my duty to attend to the 
calls in honor of a New Year. The Chinese teachers all paid 
their respects ; for the Chinese are very punctilious in such forms. 
Some of the foreign residents still adhere to the New York cus- 
tom, and spend the day in calling on the ladies of their acquaint- 
ance. The community is now so large, that, in some cases, this is 
no small undertaking even here. We, however, have received 
few calls except from missionaries. The intervals of time during 
the day I occupied in writing to dear friends. And so night found 
me and New Year's day closed. New Year's day ! — an anniver- 
sary almost always cheerful, and even merry, in its outward seem- 
ing ; yet, beneath the surface, how many serious, anxious, or re- 
gretful thoughts agitate the heart ! The irrevocable past ! The 
unsatisfying present ! The dim and fearful future ! How serious, 
how awful is life ! Awful, because each moment takes hold on 
an eternal existence. The past year has been one particularly 
full of trial, not only to me, but to many persons in the mission- 
ary calling. But it is not trial merely, that makes life so serious. 
It is its responsibilities, and the deep sense of failure in duty- — 
failure in attaining even our own comparatively low ideal of ex- 
cellence ! " When," says an eloquent writer,* " when was there 

[* Rev. James Martineau.] 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 179 

ever one who did not feel his recollections full of shame and griefj 
and find in the past the cup that overflowed with tears ? When 
one, that did not look into the future with resolves, made anxious 
and timid by the failures of experience, and distrust that breaks 
the young courage of the heart, and prayers that in utterance half 
expect refusal ? "Who can stand this day at the solemn meeting 
point of past and future, without abasement for the one and trem- 
bling for the other ? " And, in the significant words of one of 
the noblest and most stout-hearted of men, we have this question : 
" "Who is sufficient for these things ? " But his own words also 
afford comfort : "I can do all things, through Christ strengthen- 
ing me." 

Sunday, January 2d. — Attended chapel. Mr. Syle addressed 
the children. I did not go over to the English church afterward, 
as I often do ; remaining in my own room, read H. More's stric- 
tures on St. Paul. I agree with her in thinking that but few per- 
sons duly notice and appreciate the softer traits in the character 
of the great apostle : such as his gentleness to the weak, his for- 
bearance to the misguided and erring, his humility among the 
brethren, his affectionateness and tenderness to all. In the after- 
noon I had my usual duties with my little ones, in hearing their 
hymns and catechism. In the evening Mr. Nelson preached for us 
from the words, " God is a Spirit." Thus passed the first Sab- 
bath of the New Year ; and it has gone with its account, and is 
now with the years beyond the flood. 

Monday, January 3d. — This is the day of the usual monthly 
concert, which is now holden in the morning, at the school build- 
ing of the Church Missionary Society. Nearly all the American 
missionaries were there, and the meeting was addressed by Rev. 
Mr. Keith, of our mission. The subject of his address was de- 
rived from incidents in African missions, particularly those of 
Sierra Leone and Youba, as noticed in the Missionary Intelligen- 
cer, published by the Church Missionary Society, and alluded to 
by Bishop Payne in some of his addresses. Scarcely anything 
could be more discouraging than their early prospects, and few 
missions now have more pleasing hopes. Oh ! when will the 
faint dawn in China burst into day ? 

Tuesday, January 4th. — My teacher has been sick for nearly 
two weeks, and just returned to-day. Did something with him in 
the translation of " Henry and his Bearer." In the evening, 
met Mr. and Mrs. Way, of Ningpo, the latter of whom, with 
four, are about to proceed to the United States. 

Wednesday, 5th. — Yesterday and to-day have been like pleas- 
ant spring days, rather than like midwinter — doors open, and 
scarce any fire. At six p. m. went out to dinner to the London 



180 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

missionaries'. They were speaking of the Komish establishment, 
about five miles from here, which some of the London mission 
had recently visited. It is a monastery, has a fine church and 
large school attached to it, some six or eight brothers being usu- 
ally resident there. The arrangement and order is said to be very 
fine ; but any contact or conversation with the pupils by Protes- 
tants is carefully avoided. It was about Christmas at the time of 
the visit, and a large doll, dressed somewhat like Japanese and 
somewhat like Chinese, personated the infant Jesus I "While I 
was at my friends', a Parse e, adopting the customs of the place, 
made his New Year's call. He was a native of Bombay, and, 
though of very humble origin, had raised himself to respectable 
connection with some commercial houses of Parsees in Shanghai. 
In conversation, he alluded to some of their customs in contrast 
to ours. He professed to think it a very good thing for the ladies 
to be well educated, to travel, and to enjoy society, saying the 
Parsee ladies knew only how to sew and embroider, and remained 
in seclusion, like Mohammedan ladies. He spoke of an English 
school at Bombay, where some Parsee youth had been educated. 
Three of them became converts to Christianity, and two became 
clergymen, but were much despised in consequence by their coun- 
trymen. By means of them, and their instructor — a very learned 
man — much discussion had arisen, and books concerning the Par- 
see religion had been written and printed, which previously had 
no existence ; so that, by this means, the Parsees in general be- 
came better acquainted with their own religion. He observed 
that the religious Parsees go to pray and worship five times a day, 
and that the prayers are in a language they do not understand at 
all. I asked him " how, then, it could be of any use to pray ? " 
" Oh ! " he replied, " I have faith. I believe that the prayers 
are good, and that God hears them." They much dislike being 
called "fire worshippers," insisting that, to them, fire is only the 
symbol of Deity. 

Saturday, January Sth. — One week of the year is gone ! 
After giving my charge their clean clothes for the Sabbath, and 
paying off the servants that look to me, I sat quietly down with 
my teacher. After a while, had a visit from a friend and fellow 
voyageur to China. 

Sunday, January 9th. — I continue my journal, not because 
there is anything particularly interesting to relate, but to give you 
a correct, every-day idea of my every-day life. As I have in 
some previous letter remarked, I cannot go into the city, or to the 
country, and rove among the people, and observe life in its thou- 
sand varying aspects, and meet and converse with new groups. 
My life is the confined and uniform sphere of woman in the quiet 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 181 

round of teaching and study. This was communion day in the 
chapel, and our usual circle of poor and blind communicants were 
there assembled. After service I went over to the English 
church, where the chaplain gave us an excellent sermon from the 
text, "Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are 
peace." I then returned to my Sunday class, the ages of my 
boys ranging from seven to twelve years. I take more pleasure 
in their society than in anything, else ; and, with them, I some- 
times forget the loneliness that at other times too much oppresses 
me. At evening we had our usual service, when Mr. Nelson's 
little son was baptized. I need not say how interesting was the 
sight. Assembled in our parlor, there were also some four or five 
Chinese present to witness the ceremony. Mr. Syle preached an 
excellent sermon. 

Monday. — This is the usual holiday, when most of the boys 
go into the city to visit their friends. Having so much to do with 
their wardrobe, I take some pride in seeing them go off looking 
so clean and nice. For the rest of the day I amused myself in 
the garden, in writing, and attending to the various little inde- 
scribable affairs appertaining to my charge. In the evening I 
went over to Miss Jones, as usual on Monday evenings, to read to 
her. Our book was one I had some time since chosen by chance 
from the Bishop's library, and was entitled, " Eminent Mission- 
aries." We found it a book of uncommon interest, not being 
made up of "journals or letters," but of the doings of men of lion 
heart. I think it likely the author was a German, or had availed 
himself largely of their accounts ; for the work is written in a 
style so easy and vivid. It is an old book, and, I think, would not 
be easily procurable, or I would like to refer my friends to the 
book itself. The Life of John Kirmander, a native of Sweden, 
sent out by the Society for Propagating the Gospel, and founder 
and builder of the first church edifice in Calcutta — his brilliant 
success, and his reverses — all this was a most touching picture of 
human life. Hans Egede, the first missionary to Greenland, hav- 
ing preceded the Moravians by several years, was "a tale of won- 
derful interest. But, after fifteen years' labor, he saw almost no 
fruit. The most he did was to turn the attention of others to 
Greenland. 

Tuesday, January 11th. — "We feel much gladdened in seeing 
Miss Fay looking so much like herself, and seeming to be almost 
well. She has with her now, and has had for some time, a female 
teacher, whose history, if we could learn it all, would, I doubt not, 
be exceedingly interesting. It seems she was brought up for a 
Buddhist nun. My impression is, though I am not certain, that 
she was sold, when a little child, to this profession. After she 



182 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

was grown up, and had been a nun some time, a mandarin came 
into power who, being much opposed to that sect, did what he 
could to suppress their houses, and sent the nuns to their homes, 
or otherwise dispersed them. This nun married, and her husband 
treated her so badly that she left him, and has since tried to main- 
tain herself by her knowledge of letters. She seems to have an 
intelligent mind, and we cannot but hope that she may become 
interested in the true religion. 

Thursday, lZth. — In translating with my teacher, to-day, con- 
cerning creation and the fall of man, he began to ask about the 
Tempter — how he came there, and when — how he should tempt 
the woman, and various questions of the sort, like those which in 
all ages have been raised concerning the origin of evil. I could 
only tell him the holy book taught me thus and so, and that I 
could not be wiser than that. 

Saturday, 15th. — A snowy, dreary, bitter cold day. Have 
been translating, with my teacher, a little book called " Scripture 
Reading Lessons," which I thought would be a useful book for 
the children. 

Sunday, 16th. — A constant snow, and it lies on the ground to 
some depth. Mr. Keith preached in the chapel this morning, 
preaching for the first time in Chinese. In the evening, Mr. Nel- 
son preached to us in English, from the words, " Bodily exercise 
profiteth little." 

Monday, 17th. — Miss Fay was able to walk down stairs to- 
day, to take u tiffin " with us, to our great delight. "We may now 
hope she will soon be quite well, and able to resume her usual 
duties. Early this morning I spent some time in the " clothes 
room," attending to the matter of twenty -five boys' wardrobe ; 
then I spent three hours with my pupils, then some time with my 
tailor, then three hours with my teacher, then, after dinner, an 
hour in the evening school, and so closed the day. 

Thursday, 20th. — Miss Fay is really able not only to leave her 
room, but has gone across the river to spend three or four weeks 
with a friend. We trust that the change will do much for her, 
and that, with the commencement of a new year at school, she 
may be able to move among us as usual. 

Wednesday, January 2Qth. — Our long-looked-for Miss Kath- 
erine Jones arrived to-day. The relief and comfort her presence 
will afford to Miss Emma Jones will be inexpressible. Long may 
they labor together, and continue blessings to all around them ! 
It has been very lonely, and sometimes very trying, to be in a 
large house alone, especially as Miss Jones, though seldom laid 
by, often suffers severe attacks of sickness. It was my last day 
in school before its breaking up, and my charge are all in readi- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 183 

ness, with their replenished wardrobe, to visit their homes, except 
the number (which is not small) who have no homes, or very poor 
ones, and therefore remain with us. * * * 

January 28th. — "Well, our school is scattered for three weeks, 
and I feel a strangeness and almost loneliness indescribable in the 
absence of so many who demand my daily care. A closing ser- 
vice was held in the chapel, where Mr. Syle gave them a few 
words of admonition, and distributed the prizes. The two best 
scholars received silver medals with appropriate mottoes, and 
seven others received handsome books of various sizes. The 
books were presented by Dr. Stribling, of Stanton, Ya. "While 
speaking of books, I am inclined to add an expression of my 
wishes as to what I would like to have, in the hope of usefulness 
through them. You know the numerous simple books (and they 
should be mostly very simple) containing Scripture narrative, and 
plates, by which mothers and sisters are assisted in teaching chil- 
dren to regard the Sabbath as a happy, blessed day. Here it is pe- 
culiarly difficult to do what we would like to do for the children on 
that day. It is impossible to forbid them to play ; and it is right, 
and possible, to give them lessons, and instruct them ; but I want 
something to aid me in training them up, Sunday by Sunday, to 
regard it as a privileged day, when I can take peculiar pleasure in 
letting them come freely to my study, and then to read and talk 
to them as a friend rather than as an instructress. Teaching — 
teaching can be had — can be done in abundance ; but influence — 
means of influence, opportunities of influence — this is the want 
here. "Were I in America now, I could doubtless get hold of 
much to help me, which I cannot describe here ; but what I would 
desire, is, that some kind friend who understands my want, as 
here feebly expressed, would, when desiring to send some token 
to me, or to the school, remember it by sending something of the 
kind, either from his or her children's stores of well-used books, 
or by some happy selections from the bookseller's stores. 

Mr. Syle and family will leave us very soon. Oh, how we 
shall miss them ! — miss them the more, now that we are so sad- 
dened by the affliction that has come so heavily upon some of our 
number. — My letter has extended, I fear, to a tedious length. 
The mail leaves to-morrow, and I must therefore add no more at 
this time. I seem to have heard very little from my Brooklyn 
friends for many months past. I am looking with interest for the 
" Horatio " to bring me letters. 

Pray let me hear from yourself as often as is convenient with 
other duties ; and believe me, very truly, with Christian regards, 

C. P. Tenney. 



184 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Jan. 28, 1863. 

* * * You know I have not, and never had, any very 
strong clinging to life ; and perhaps I do not think with that sol- 
emn awe of death which I ought. But oh ! my dear brother, 
when that solemn hour shall come, I do desire to be able to say 
and feel, after all my sins, errors, falls, and defeats, " I have fought 
a good fight " ; I have tried to live for my Redeemer ; I have, by 
His blessing, been a blessing to others. And oh ! if the blessing 
of those ready to perish shall be mine, will it not be sweet ? I 
cannot bear to yield — to come down from sacred hopes and high 
purposes to common and ordinary ones. What more could you 
wish for your sister, than that she should be " faithful unto 
death"?. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Jan. 29, 1853. 

* * * Your letters are so kind and affectionate, that, 
though I can but poorly repay you for them, I can at least prove 
I am not insensible to your kindness. It is bitter cold to-day — 
colder than I have ever known it in China. Ice was formed 
thickly last night in my study, where there was a fire till twelve 
o'clock at night. The Chinese do not afford themselves fire, but 
guard against the cold as well as they can by thick garments ; but 
the ears of their shaven heads suffer, and their feet and their 
hands also, though the latter are somewhat protected by their long 
sleeves. Yesterday our school broke up for three weeks ; but, as 
many have no homes, and others have but miserable ones, more 
than half the boys will be here all vacation. Imagine me seated 
in my study, near the fire, my teacher at his place copying for me, 
and some dozen Chinese boys seated on the floor, or on chairs 
around, enjoying my fire, keeping tolerably quiet (for they see me 
writing), counting the " cash " I have given them for spending 
money, and one of them reading from the beautiful book he re- 
ceived as a prize. 

TO DANVERS RELATIVES. 

Shanghai, Feb. 1, 1853. 

My dearest Uncle, Aunt, and Cousins : An excellent 
opportunity offers for sending some little mementoes to those I 
love, or those I kindly remember in America. [Here follows a 
list of articles, with the destination of each, including as follows :] 
One pair of bottles with crawling snails, for Aunt Currier. She 
was beloved of my parents, and, though she knows little of me, I 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 185 

do not forget her ever-kind welcome. Send them to her with my 
love. Ask her if she remembers my spending some cold days at 
her house in the winter of 1840-1841, and reading the Life of 
J. B. Taylor ? I little dreamed of China then. 

TO MRS. SUMNER, LOUISVILLE. 

Shanghai, Feh. 8, 1853. 

My dear Mrs. Sumner : This is the Chinese New Year, and 
" custom " closes every shop, suspends labor, keeps women in their 
houses, sends men of every grade walking to and fro, saluting 
their acquaintances with best wishes for happiness. Sadness is 
proscribed, and gladness is the order of the day. Schools are sus- 
pended, teachers are free, servants are at leisure, and China, in its 
length and breadth, has one grand holiday. 

As to myself, servants, pupils, teachers, all have been to my 
room to wish me happiness ; and, as this is the middle of our long 
vacation of three weeks, necessity is laid upon me to " recreate," 
and follow my own inclination. Once a year is quite often enough 
for such extreme freedom. I should not know how to order my 
life usefully, without the aid of regularly allotted duty pressing 
upon me, yet gently, day by day. 

I have wished and purposed to write you, my dear friend, con- 
fident that, though years of silence on your part have passed, your 
kind remembrance and regard for me is as unchanging as is mine 
for you. 

Seven years have rolled away — seven years just now, since I 
was making that pleasant visit at your aunt's, in the spring of 
1846. To each of us, since then, how many leaves have been 
opened in life's checkered book ! "Would that, as in times past, I 
could sit with you, even till the midnight hour, that we might 
speak each to the other of our intervening history ! To me, these 
seven years seem, in interest and importance, the all of my life. 
I speak this, of course, comparatively, and in reference to its deep 
impression upon memory, its influence upon character, and upon 
my earthly destiny. With you, though there has been, doubtless, 
the element of sorrow in the cup of life, there has been less of 
bitterness. By our very natures, the voyage of this life would 
ever be more stormy to me than to you. But let this allusion to 
sorrow and conflict suffice ; such, in less or greater measure, sooner 
or later, in time comes to all. Let me rather adore that goodness 
and power that brings some good out of great evil ; and let me 
dwell upon that love, which has continued blessings unnumbered, 
in spite of all my unfaithfulness to duty, and which has given me 
the best of all gifts, the hopes and blessings of the gospel. Among 



186 MEMOIR OF MES. KEITH. 

all the varied subjects of our converse, my dear friend, probably 
China never once entered ; yet, to my ear, the word had then 
been spoken, and, in my mind, the thought was only sleeping, 
that, under God, brought me here. That word was spoken in 
1845, in Virginia, by Rev. Alexander Jones ; but much of sor- 
row was needed to make that seed- word spring up into action. 
You may remember that it was in the spring of 1846 that I en- 
tered the Episcopal Church ; and I have often thought of the 
words you then spoke to me, though, very likely, you may have 
forgotten them. I do not recall the exact expression, but the im- 
port was, that u in seven years my position, religiously, would be 
widely different from what it was at that time." "What may have 
been your idea of that probable position I know not, though I 
supposed you would predict for me a rebound to extreme liberal- 
ism, as though driven there by the compression, as it were, of the 
church I had entered. And doubtless it must be true, that seven 
years have not passed without producing some modifications of my 
half-formed views, speculations, and convictions. But I really am 
not able to decide whether, if I could speak freely with you now, 
you would call me more or less liberal than then — more or less 
consistent now than then. I know that my church principles, as 
the term is, are firmer, and that, with all the faults and errors of 
its members, and some of its bishops, it is still the church of my 
warm and decided choice. Among the few acts of my life which 
I have never for one moment regretted, and would not recall, is 
my having chosen and entered the Episcopal Church. May I live 
worthy of its high profession, and die in its fold ! The belief in 
Jesus which it teaches, is the one alone in which my soul ever 
found rest and peace. Thus it is that, while these seven years 
have been full of vicissitude and of many sorrows (sorrows far 
keener and more multiplied than any my friend has dreamed were 
mine), yet my best joys, and often my only joys, have been those 
which sprang from my religious faith — a rest and peace I never 
found before I sought my spiritual home in the Episcopal Church. 
True, that rest and peace, that trust and joyfulness, have more 
than once been disturbed and broken. Clouds and fierce storms 
have darkened my sky, and stirred the billows to their depths ; 
and it was only by remembering the days of the right hand of the 
Most High that the anchor of hope did not part from the cable, 
and leave me desolate, and hopeless of personal safety. And, 
notwithstanding all the strong consolations of the gospel, often 
have I yielded to self-love, and permitted life to seem very dreary 
to my disappointed and bleeding heart. But then, again, I have 
been enabled to find enough of satisfaction in living for others, 
and I could look joyfully on a life in which I might serve my Re- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 187 

deemer, and wait serenely for that hour when my long-orphaned 
and homeless spirit shall hear the sweet summons, "Come 
home ! " 

Six years, nearly, have passed since we parted, and three 
since the shores of my native land have faded from my sight. In 
those years, to you, as well as to me, life's relations have changed, 
and duty also changed its call. * * * I know that, in self- 
forgetfulness, you will ever have a tear for others' woes, and a 
smile for their joys, and so you will pass on, a light to others ; 
your word shall relieve their perplexity, your trust shall shame 
their doubt, your patience repress their fretfulness of spirit, and 
your courage and fortitude inspire with strength. Thus, in the 
past, you have ministered to me ; thus, in the future, shall you 
minister to others. * * * 

The history of all great enterprises has small beginnings ; and 
the commencement of missions to the heathen has almost always 
been trying to faith. The hand of power here opposes no diffi- 
culties, but only iron " custom," and the human heart in its love 
of sin. 

But only think of this mighty mass of human beings, all 
accessible by one written medium, all more or less susceptible of 
common influences, and all passing down to the grave, generation 
after generation ! "What we esteem most precious — what makes 
existence tolerable, and even desirable — yea, what alone makes it 
a rich blessing, shall we not strive to give it to others ? They 
may turn away in indifference from the history of God's love to 
man ; they may disregard every call to purity and repentance, to 
faith and obedience ; but our duty will have been done, and God 
will not permit His own word to return unto Him in vain. There 
are many good qualities among the Chinese — probably few hea- 
then nations, if any, have more ; but lying is as universal as 
breathing, and deceit as natural as to utter words. This it is 
which is often so painful — to be obliged constantly to distrust, and 
to keep on the defensive. 

Still, while converts are few, and some of these are false, yet 
it is very sure that the leaven of the truth is spreading, and that 
prejudices are softening. Christendom has itself made obstacles 
to the prevalence of Christian truth, in the injustice and unscrupu- 
lousness of those who live for worldly gain alone. 

But I must check my pen, and turn to less general and more 
particular descriptions. Behold me, perhaps at dusk, in my study 
— not an uncomfortable and cheerless heathen place, but carpeted, 
curtained, warmed, and made pleasant by various tasteful articles. 
See some dozen boys, with dark skins and long queues, seated 
around me, indulging their own questioning propensities, or listen- 



188 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

ing to some tale from me, or jesting with each other. Or ima- 
gine me, from nine a. m. to twelve, seated among my twenty 
pupils, rehearsing for the thousandth time the rudiments of 
knowledge. Or see me, Saturday morning, in the "clothes 
room," dispensing clean clothes to my adopted children. Or, on 
Sunday morning, when from one to two hundred youth, and Chi* 
nese teachers and servants, are seated to listen, if they will, to the 
gospel. We use our well-known hymns, and some of the Chinese 
can join us. Or imagine me, again, reading after my teacher, or 
trying to convey to him my rude translations, that he may make 
them more endurable. Or imagine us, when the mail comes in, 
in eagerness tempered with fears, opening our letters, and, after 
an interval, communicating to each other what has brought us joy 
or anxiety. Thus time flies on. 

I have come to my ninth page, and am admonished to bring 
my long letter to a conclusion. And what shall I ask you to say 
to your uncle and aunt for me ? Tell them I frequently think of 
them, and all their past kindness to me. I have not often known 
such friends, who always met me with kindness, and did so much 
to add to my enjoyment. * * * 

And now, my dear friend, farewell. Should this epistle pro- 
voke one from you, I should be glad ; if not, it is probable a long 
period may elapse ere you hear from me again. But, whether 
silent or otherwise, you may be assured I shall never think of you 
without warm affection ; and I even hope we may meet again on 
earth ; if not on earth, I humbly hope, in heaven. There is rest, 
and a " home, sweet home," in heaven. This life must ever be 
for me a place of weary conflict ; but may I at length become 
victor ! Farewell, my dear friend. May your life be crowned 
with usefulness, and much happiness. Ever yours, 

C. P. Tennet. 



TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, April 12, 1853. 

* * * When it was announced as certain, last Thursday, 
the 7th, that the rebel army was within thirty-six hours' march of 
this place, those foreigners and missionaries who were without the 
lines of " protection " began to bethink themselves what to do. 
The ladies were offered shelter on board the American war 
steamer, whenever it should become necessary to leave our 
houses ; and it was advised that we should have everything in 
a state of readiness to depart at twenty minutes* notice. This 
was said to us by some officers of the steamer, on Thursday, at 
five p. m. ; and at twelve, when we went to bed, our goods were 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 189 

mostly in our trunks. The next day we packed up books, carpets, 
curtains, and whatever we could spare, to send off to some safe 
deposit, keeping a supply of wearables in a bag, which we could 
snatch up in a moment. Friday night, the gentlemen of our mis- 
sion kept guard. Saturday was spent in more deliberate packing, 
and in waiting and in weariness. Saturday night we sent off 
some of our boxes, though the rumors seemed less alarming, and 
all was more quiet. Oh, how weary we all were, and how glad 
of the night's rest ! The next day, Sunday, we heard of some 
horrible cases of Lynch law and of robbery ; and the few ser- 
vants who remained with us seemed more amazed and affrighted 
than ever. On Sunday we had service and communion in our 
chapel, our city communicants being present ; and one having a 
day or two previously gone up, as we hoped, to a higher com- 
munion, where his Redeemer's presence is his joy and reward. In 
deep poverty, in destitution of human comforts, in pain and suffer- 
ing, he trusted in and waited patiently for his Lord ; and in a mo- 
ment, as it were, he passed from death to life — from a world of 
sorrows to one of joy — from a beggar's humiliation to reign with 
his Master on high. While we look around and see the mission- 
ary work at a stand, the people scattered, and our schools dis- 
persed, we are comforted with the hope that here was one soul, 
but a little while since degraded, polluted, darkened, but now 
washed, made pure, and filled with everlasting light and joy. 
Our schools were dismissed on Friday, with directions, however, 
that, should all continue quiet, they should return in a week ; but 
I much fear it will be impossible to gather them all again. We 
have remaining, however, more than twenty homeless boys, most 
of whom have relatives, to whom they will go in case of greater 
distress. Our gentlemen have carbines in the houses, sent from 
the steamer ; and one of the foreigners (American) has placed 
here a boat, if at any time we should need to make our escape to 
the war steamer. There have been various meetings of the con- 
suls. An embankment is to be thrown up all around the foreign 
■city ; but it leaves out all missionary houses, except the London 
mission. What the end of these things will be, we know not. 
You must not suppose there is any danger to our lives, as there is 
so much foreign force here, and means of defence and shelter. 
Could you look in upon our dismantled houses, our trunks all 
packed, you would feel that we were indeed pilgrims and stran- 
gers. The whole thing is in accordance with my own restless 
mind, except that I mourn the disadvantage to our work as mis- 
sionaries. Our progress was slow enough before ; it bids fair to 
be less than ever now. But God can overrule all. 



190 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

Miss Tenney's earlier June (1853) letters contain very ex- 
tended and carefully prepared accounts of the rebellion, its prog- 
ress, the supposed religious tenets of its leader, and the expecta- 
tions awakened in the hearts of missionaries in China, that the 
success of the rebellion would contribute most powerfully to the 
introduction of Christianity into the heart of the empire. The 
sequel having corrected the mistakes and sadly dissipated the 
hopes founded on them, no extract on this topic from these other- 
wise interesting letters is here inserted. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

June 20, 1853. 

* * * I am going on beautifully (excuse me) with my 
geography, and the year 1853 will be the most fruitful of all my 
years hitherto (that is, if my strength is continued) ; for in it I 
shall have finished a geography, the revised translation of " Henry 
and his Bearer," the translation of the "Peep of Day" — that is, 
Bible history to Joshua — two tracts, "Peter" and "Judas," and 
the sketch of the New Testament history, and, perhaps, yet more 
than this. So, then, next year, how much more I could do ! My 
class, many of them, are learning with much spirit. Strange to 
say, my health is better this summer than it has been any summer 
in China. Besides teaching three hours, I study from four to six 
hours, which, with my active duties, and keeping up my corres- 
pondence, fills my time well up from five and a half o'clock A. m. 
till nine or ten p. m. ; and then I seldom have to court sleep. 
Sleep and work, you perceive, quiet the nerves ! My mind, which 
at one time, I feared, was fatally giving way, having no power to 
retain what I went over, is gradually recovering, though the ready 
ease that happiness gave it I still miss. How few there are who 
understand how happiness invigorates the intellect ! But I spare 
you. 

TO THE SAME. 

June 25, 1853. 

My dear Brother : The labors of another day and week 
are closed, and, as is not uncommon, I betake myself to my pen. 
As I have told you, I am making a geography in the colloquial 
style, and to-day have finished China, preceded, of course, by Asia, 
which, in this longitude, is the first quarter of the globe to be 
taken up. Asia in general, and China in particular, are large 
subjects, embracing many topics, many of these requiring some 
very careful sifting ; and, moreover, the boundaries of the coun- 
tries are difficult to define, and then very difficult to transfer into 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 191 

this unwieldy tongue. And this difficulty is increased by the fact 
that the names have been and are written in Chinese in so many 
different characters. Imagine me with McCulloch's huge work and 
"Webster's Dictionary on one side, Mitchell's large and reliable 
Atlas on the other, Williams's map of the Chinese Empire, with 
dictionaries, and various small works of geography scattered upon 
chairs within my reach; Williams's invaluable work on the "Mid- 
dle Kingdom " in my hand ; and last, but not least, the Chinese 
teacher near me at the table, pen in hand. This is my labor (and 
a labor it is) for four, five, and six hours a day ; and my aim and 
hope is to make a valuable and reliable colloquial geography. It 
will be in the catechetical form strictly, as I judge that to be sim- 
pler, and more likely to convey my meaning to the children, for 
whom it is intended. There have, as yet, been no school books 
put into colloquial here, and few in China, except by the indefati- 
gable Romanists. And who is to do it but teachers ? You will 
wonder what I could have been doing four days upon Chinese 
Tartary, so barren in our maps. Asia and its countries will be by 
far the largest portion of the work, and the remaining matter will 
be less full of uncertainties, I think. There ! is not this long page 
quite author-like ? — all about my book that is to be. But, you 
see, it is better to have the author-fever than a worse. Of course, 
there will be many imperfections, and probably some errors, and 
it may never be worth printing ; and, even if it is worth publish- 
ing, of course I must wait the Bishop's inspection. But, in the 
mean time, there can be plenty of copies made by the teachers, 
for the use of our " girls' school," for whom, of course, it is pri- 
marily intended. — If you knew this climate, you would wonder 
how my strength holds out. I wonder myself. I do not think I 
have felt so strong of a summer in mauy years ; and my eyes, 
which I last summer feared would have been ruined with inces- 
sant weeping, are never tired. In a sense the poet never meant, 
I know what it is " to suffer and be strong." — There ought to be 
a simple history of the world, and of China, prepared, and num- 
bers of religious books. Oh, the work to do — so vast 1 and the 
laborers so few ! 

TO THE SAME. 

Shanghai, July 4, 1853. 

My dear Brother : I have been writing, and am weary, and 
should seek my rest ; but I cannot do so till I have written a few 
words to you. Would you not like, after so many tones of sad- 
ness, to hear a more cheerful strain ? I feel more happy and 
hopeful to-night than I have done for one moment in the last long 
fifteen months of sorrow. Everything is going on well in my 



192 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

school, and I am pursuing my study-work successfully, so that I 
do feel consoled and cheered. And then, God has given me so 
many kind friends. Yes, though, in many respects, mine is a 
lonely lot, yet there are some who love me for Christ's and His 
work's sake ; and do I not owe Him much for this ? 



TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, July 7, 1853. 

My dearest Mary : Your long, interesting, and most wel- 
come letter of March was received a week or two since, and 
I would gladly have replied by return of mail. To-day the 
thermometer stands at 94°. I will try to forget the heat in 
writing. * * * 

You say, " I ask myselfj ' If I should be henceforth an in- 
valid, can I bear it as I ought ? ' " But, dear Mary, you are not 
called to such a test. You are only called to leave " to-day " 
with God ; the morrow, the future, may never be yours, or be full 
of joy ! But you will say, " Oh ! it is hard to give up ( thought 
for the morrow,' and trust it as out of sight with God, and con- 
tent ourselves with saying, ' day by day,' * Thy will be done.' " 
Yes, it is, dearest ; nor do I profess to have attained in this. But 
this is the way in which I try to simplify the matter to myself, 
knowing that, if I could conquer day by day, it would be enough. 
Orphaned and lonely as my lot has been, all that I have known 
of rest has been when I was able thus to do for the future. The 
long years before me have looked more weary than I could find 
words to express. In this effort I have at times been greatly 
assisted by the book, probably not unknown to you, entitled " In- 
terior Life," by Prof. T. C. Upham. Its tendency is to aid in 
attaining the childlike trust, moment by moment. You may well 
say, " Who knows, till they are tried ? " for when we have, in 
some stern conflict with self, in some submission under severe 
trial, really attained a union with God's will, the next, and differ- 
ent, and harder, may find us once more alive to selfwill, and full 
of unbelief. Therefore I say again, it is " moment by moment ; " 
for we cannot to-day lay up the morrow's supply, any more than 
the Israelites could their manna. 

But how slowly I get on with your letter ! for almost every 
line of it suggests so much in reply. In this, more than in any 
other letter I have ever had from you, I see you going through 
some of the dark vales where I have trod. You say again, " I 
distrust myself every way ; I feel dissatisfied with myself, and fear 
I never shall be what I ought to be, and was destined for. I 
know I am capable of doing some good in the world ; but how 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 193 

little I do ! What shall I do ? What is the work given me to 
do ? I wish I knew my whole duty, and could pursue it ! " Oh, 
how many such thoughts as these haunted me, and weighed on 
my mind, I may say, for years ! It may be that every earnest 
spirit has to enter, through that kind of wicket gate, the real field 
of labor. I will not bore you by preaching here, what everybody 
finds it so easy to say to others in suffering, " This will be for your 
good." This is true ; but it is so often said " cantingly," that I 
feel like never saying it, even though it is a blessed, true, and 
most consoling fact, that afflictions are blessings to those who 
rightly use them. But, since you say you hope you " have de- 
rived benefit from this present discipline," may I not express the 
feeling I have concerning it — viz., that it may be that this very 
suffering, so prolonged and trying, is just what is preparing you 
for that work on earth to which, as our Lord's redeemed, you 
would deem yourself called ? As I look back on my own expe- 
rience, I see that, while I was longing to be useful, I was but 
poorly fitted for any good ; and so it was through much affliction 
that I was at all trained to be any blessing to suffering humanity. 
What we do not know in the present, we can in the hereafter look 
back and comprehend. " No affliction," said the large-hearted 
apostle, " is for the present joyous ; " but it is afterward that it 
worketh in peace the fruit of righteousness. Yes, dearest friend, 
you are capable of doing much good ; but could you be fitted, 
except you had been introduced to the " stern realities of life " — 
pain, disappointment, grief, and deep communion with self in the 
dark hours, when sorrow hides the sunshine of life ? 

What you say of little duties is most true, and is well though 
differently expressed by some one, in saying it is not impossible to 
leave country and friends to go to a heathen land ; but how few, 
who give up these, can give up self! And is it not self that 
makes these little duties so difficult ? My calling is peculiarly full 
of little trials, as teacher and matron : and here is one of my 
many and most deplorable failures ; but I hope to struggle on. I 
have always thought you most exemplary in filling these very 
demands ; but it is true, we can each see for ourselves a standard 
far higher than we have yet reached. 

And now, my dearly loved friend, my kind and true and con- 
stant Mary, how shall I express the regret I feel that anything I 
have ever said or ever written concerning Unitarians should have 
sealed your lips, and have prevented your heart flowing out to 
your true friend in some of its most sacred feelings and impulses ! 
»I can only say, I did not mean to wound your feelings. And 
allow me to add further, in explanation of what I may have said, 
that I could not and should not ever have ventured to speak so 
9 



194: MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

freely, had I not supposed that I was able to see into and to know 
the secret feelings of Unitarians, almost unconscious to them* 
selves ; able, because I myself had sincerely been one of them. 
And I felt, too, that I appreciated their excellences far better than 
those who had never thus known them, and that thus I might be 
allowed to point to what they seemed to me to want. It is not 
strange, my dear Mary, that, in our many years of separation, and 
our few visits, and especially our last hurried interview after I had 
so much changed — it is not strange if we are not at once in cor- 
rect knowledge of each other. But I grieve much, that, by my 
injudicious freedom, or warmth of feeling, I have repelled the lov- 
ing heart and thoughtful mind that would have otherwise sought 
a communion with me. I know you will pardon me, and I will 
not pain you by seeming to doubt that ; but I am not so sure that 
you will be able to convince yourself, and to feel that I am not so 
narrow and bigoted, so unable to comprehend the views of others 
and to assume their standpoint, so wedded to a particular form of 
expression and of experience, as to be unable to comprehend the 
feelings — yes, and sympathize with all the struggles of sincere 
and devout Unitarians, admire and love their excellence, believe 
them " not altogether godless," and enjoy with them much sweet 
intercourse on religious topics. I am not so " unbelieving " 
toward you (Unitarians) as I have in some way given you to 
suppose ; and oh, how far should I be from regarding your " hopes 
and fears and struggles," did you tell them me, with distrust ! 
You remark that you can never bring yourself to say, " All who 
differ from my form of belief are wrong." But do you not, 
equally with myself, necessarily, whenever you dissent, declare 
that, according to your judgment, the other views are erroneous, 
and then, as we, " to the law and to the testimony " ? 

I am sorry that I have at length come to the turn, for it is 
pleasanter to walk the same way ; but I must frankly say where 
and why I differ, as I go on further to notice your remarks. You 
write : " How can people have a confidence that all is right — that 
they are loved and accepted of God? I never could see, and 
never shall. I never could feel sure, were I thought ever so good 
by others, and were I conscious of the best intentions. Conscious ! 
ah, but how could I be sure that I deceived not myself? I shall 
always doubt and tremble, I fear." Oh ! my beloved friend, do 
not think any more that I cannot sympathize, and, as it were, go 
with you in all these questions. Oh, how have I felt them all ! 
And I could wish I were now by your side, to tell you all more 
fully than I can write ; to hear all, and to love you more than 
ever. And now, as I go on to tell you why I think you feel so, 
will it seem to you only a development of my bigotry? God 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 195 

grant it may not seem so ! and may He, who will never disap- 
point the true, earnest seeker, guide us both ! 

I believe that, so long as we look to our own actions, words, 
thoughts, and motives, as grounds of our justification and accept- 
ance with God, we never can and never shall have confidence, or 
have deep, abiding peace ; because we shall ever see so much of 
sin and imperfection in all these, that the voice of our own con- 
science, and the knowledge we have of the holiness of God and 
the requirements of His law, will ever be tormenting. We may 
keep our views directed so exclusively to His mercy, that, for a 
while, and at times, we may feel that we have peace ; but "doubts 
and fears " come to disturb and harass the* tender conscience and 
the earnest soul. This is the reason, dear Mary, why I deemed 
, with his deep and solemn sense of human accountable- 
ness, and tender and conscientious spirit, with what I know is his 
conviction of human sinfulness, to be yearning for a peace and 
joy which should satisfy his yearning and unsatisfied soul. Oh ! 
it is not because I am u bigoted," but because I have felt, so long 
and so painfully, such cravings ; and I have heard those, who were 
once Unitarians, confess this as their frequent state of mind, till 
they learned a different way. Besides, when Unitarians allow 
such license to speculation, and venture not to judge others as in 
great error, they unsettle the firmness of their own footing. Per- 
haps they move, as it were, to seek firmer place, till, lost in their 
own bewildered search, they feel like crying, " Oh, that I knew 
where I might find Him ! " and, " Oh, that I could say with the 
Psalmist, ' He is my light and my salvation ' ! " But, without 
pressing my opinions on this point further, let me turn to the 
foundation of our faith and hope — the Bible — and its record of 
holy men. What says the great apostle (2 Tim. i. 12)? "I 
know in whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able 
to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day." 
(And, though on another point, please notice the next verse : 
" Hold fast.") I have just looked through the Epistles, in order 
to direct your attention to some of the texts expressing or imply- 
ing the strongest confidence as to his own and the believer's ac- 
ceptance ; but so much do I see, that I can only beg you to look 
through them all, with an eye to that point. Assurance of faith ! 
(and was it not needed in persecutions — is it not needed still in 
self-denying labors ?) And the " beloved " apostle expresses this 
not less strongly, though perhaps less glowingly. And even the 
Psalmist attained to this ; for his delight seems to be in boldly 
claiming his portion in God, and resting sure in " covenant mer- 
cies." Please read carefully the Epistle to the Ephesians, espe- 
cially the earlier chapters. How clearly is expressed there the 



196 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

confidence of the believer, and the grounds of that confidence ! 
This it is that takes away the fear of death, which, else, is a life- 
long bondage ; so that the apostle, and, with him, multitudes of 
Christians, are able to say, " I am confident, and willing rather to 
be absent from the body, and present with the Lord." Then read 
the fifth and following two or three chapters of Romans, and see 
the ground of peace and confidence (v. 1, 9, 10 ; viii. 1, &c), 
reconciliation by„Christ , s death, and salvation by His living and 
mediation. The cross — the cross of Him who bare our sins in 
His own body on the tree ; the cross — to the Greeks foolishness, 
and to the Jews a stumbling block — this it is which is the attrac- 
tion to the burdened tinner ; this it is which makes the Deliverer 
so precious to those that believe, and that kindles a love stronger 
than death. Nor does this view make God the Father a harsh 
Being ; for did He not commend His love to us in giving Hia 
Son ? And so, while He is " fearful in holiness," He is full of 
mercy ; and thus is the law, which our own conscience approves, 
11 magnified and made honorable." And will you still feel, dear 
Mary, because I thus write, that I shall look upon your " fears, 
doubts, and struggles with distrust " ? for do I not know — have I 
not experienced them all? I believe they are initiatory to a 
higher stage, and not " altogether godless." And you could not 
gratify me more, than by speaking to me freely of these ; for, 
while my views of religious truth are and must be different, and, 
to my mind, most important, I do think I can see and rejoice in 
all that is good and real in connection with other views. 



TO HER BROTHER 

Shanghai, Aug. 19, 1853. 

* * * The experience of 1852 has been to me such as no 
language can describe. Its memory can never be otherwise than 
sad ; but I believe such is the renovating influence of a great 
object, and such God's blessing on earnest struggles, that I shall 
yet be the better worker in this vineyard for all this. Why, then, 
should I cherish bitterness against the instrument of God's pruning 
hand ? Though I have had different degrees of pain or ease, it 
was not till about three weeks since, just before our last com- 
munion season, that I knew real peace. Nor is that peace always 
unruffled. Still, I know its breathings, and now " it is well." 

TO MISS PLUMER 

Shanghai, Sept. 15, 1853. 

My dearest Mary : I have been sitting alone in my study, 
enjoying the brightness of the autumn morn, while my thoughts 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 197 

were far over the ocean. Shall I say you were not forgotten ? 
Oh, for that long, long talk you speak of, instead of a few pages 
on cold paper ! I would not, however, for one moment depreciate 
paper-and-ink talking ; it has been one of my best comforts for 
these long years. I wish I could cover many sheets of paper, not 
a few in answer to your last most welcome letter, received two 
days since. But I will at least begin ; for when we delay, hoping 
for time to write a good long letter at one sitting, the delay usu- 
ally becomes so long as to spoil the best letter, when at last it is 
written. I should have been very anxious about your health, had 
I not been gladdened by your letter this mail ; and I am truly 
thankful to perceive that you are improving, though it is not yet 
complete restoration to health. Do not thank me so very much, 
dearest Mary, for my " goodness " in writing ; for, though I con- 
fess I always write with the animating idea that I shall give pleas- 
ure to my friend, yet I claim that one half the merit of my good 
deeds in the way of correspondence should be subtracted, since I 
have no doubt much selfishness enters into all my feats in this re- 
spect. Do I not expect thus to get returns, and ever so much love 
and " thanks," which I shall he so happy in reading, that, all the 
while I am writing (probably), I am anticipating this feast to my 
affections and to my vanity ? But a truce to my diffuseness ; for 
I am at the bottom of the first page, and have, as yet, said noth- 
ing. It is well I am not in America, where I might indulge freely 
in scribbling, without fear of " postage " ! How the paper would 
be consumed ! and how the stationers would smile on so good a 
customer ! I must commence my letter in good earnest, however, 
by a protest. You say you " appreciate me fully." I would 
rather say you appreciate me excessively ; for that tendency to 
" hero worship " which my dear Mary has, is leading her to exalt 
unduly her missionary friend. Should I ever return, I should fear 
to visit you, lest the reality — the real C. P. T. — should so shock 
your ideal — should so disgrace the ideal C. P. T. — that my old 
and true friend could not but be deeply disappointed and morti- 
fied ! Seriously, dear Mary, I am pained to see how much you 
overestimate my moral worth — my moral victories and attain- 
ments. My old faults and infirmities still have life ; and my im- 
provement, how little and slow it has been ! I am, indeed, en- 
gaged in a work that is worthy of all your enthusiasm ; but how 
unworthy I am of it, none but God can know. I would say to 
all my friends, Pray for me, but praise me not ; for if in anything 
I seem to have done well, it is all of grace. The longer I live, 
the more I feel this. There was much in your letter (as is always 
the case) to which I would like to reply particularly ; but you will 
suffer me to notice what seems most important, and to reply as 



198 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

fully as opportunity allows to that part, without feeling that I re- 
gard any as trifling or unimportant ; for, though you speak so 
slightingly of your own poor letters, they never seem so to me, 
and are always a cordial to my heart and a stimulus to my 
thoughts. I was struck by some remarks you made in connection 
with your notice of " Shady Side " (which I have not yet seen). 
You say, first, " None but the most gifted (ministers) are exempt 
from petty trials and persecutions, which might try the faith and 
patience of a Job. I must venture to suggest that the gifted 
often suffer most severely from what would try the patience of 
Job. You go on to say : " The minister has come to be the 
1 scapegoat ' for the congregation — the mark for all to shoot at. 
No reverence, no regard, scarcely, for the holy office now. It is 
enough to make one tremble for the future. "Where is the mate- 
rial for good citizens or good Christians ? If the tide does not 
turn soon, we cannot remain a prosperous and happy people. God 
will not and cannot, in the nature of things, bless us." What you 
thus say is too true ; and the causes of this state of things are no 
mystery to me, and are more and more evident to me. "What- 
ever my opinions are as to religious matters, dear Mary, 'since 
1844 they have been formed for me by no man, or set of books. 
Secluded much of that time, out of thinking circles, I have had 
time and opportunity to think as dispassionately as it is possible 
for one of my temperament ever to do, and I have had the posi- 
tion and the leisure for looking out on the world of intellectual 
and religious activity. I wish — oh, how much I wish ! — that we 
could have a long talk together — that I could tell you all I think 
and feel about this and kindred subjects ! How coldly, how im- 
perfectly can I express my sentiments on paper ! And when I 
dissent from you — as I must widely do sometimes — I fear my old 
friend will impute it to the narrowing influence of Episcopacy ; 
whereas I know I never had, in America, half the breadth of 
mind or heart that I have learned to gain in this land of my exile ; 
and, the more consistent my views of the church become, the more 
do I appreciate its blessed influences — the more earnestly do I 
wish that I may in all things follow the path marked out by my 
beloved church. Look at the Prayer Book ; study it, and say if 
one whose character was thoroughly formed after that model 
would not be lovely in beautiful consistency and adjustment of 
Christian graces ? Excuse this long digression (as it seems), and 
my egotism. I have consciously indulged in it, because I have 
determined that to you I will write with something of the freedom 
and diffuseness of conversation. My old friend must not lose 
knowledge of me ; and this is the best way, it seems to me, to 
bring ourselves into something like contact of mind. — But to go 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 199 

back to your quotations. Do you not see, in the state of things 
to which you allude, the natural result of the leading principles of 
[ ] theology ? Have patience with me. I will not be im- 
patient if you do not agree with me for some years yet ; but agree 
with me you will, some day ! " The result," I repeat — the un- 
avoidable, natural result of [ ] * principles ! Do you ask 

what principles ? Many. First, that excessive egotism, and that 
pride of reason which exalts itself above the Bible, and thus above 
God. The expression is not too strong. Read it again, and take 
it with you, and at your leisure watch and weigh. True, they are 
righting, as they think, the very battle of truth with error — of 
light with darkness — of freedom with slavery — of God with all 
evil. But what then ? God must be such an one as themselves ; 
if not, they are ready to reject that precious revelation given us 
in the Bible. They say, " This and this my divine humanity 
rejects ; this and this do violence to my moral sense." Is it not 
so ? Are there not thousands — and not a few calling themselves 
Christians, and some calling themselves Christian ministers — who 
esteem themselves wiser than the blessed Son of God? The 
whole theory is "development" — development, not, indeed, of the 
Newman, Puseyite fashion, but development in the opposite direc- 
tion. Instead of studying the simple truths of the Bible, each 
individual is studying himself — seeking out new inventions, ex- 
pecting to improve on the Bible — in fact, " exalting himself above 
God." There is no reverence for the " sacred office," because they 
have no belief in any sacredness of such office. Any claim of 
that kind at once rouses their opposition. The church itself is to 
them, or to too many of them, but a matter of expediency ; 
creeds embodying the soul of Christianity are a troublesome and 
hateful fetter; the soul, they think, is so much superior to the 
body, that no body is at all needed for the soul. They are always 
talking of the spirit of Christianity, and quoting as gospel the 
motto of that arrant Deist, Pope : " He can't be wrong whose life 
is in the right." A man may believe or say what he pleases ; his 
doctrinal opinions are of little consequence, so he is " in earnest " 
— so he has the " spirit of Christianity ; " as if the spirit would 
not quickly evaporate without the material to hold it. Yet, with 
all this arrogance, in each claiming the " divine right " to sit in 
judgment on the God who made them, they are excessively mod- 
est in contradicting the "inspiration" of some kindred seer. They 
humbly say : "I cannot pretend to have arrived at the whole 
truth yet ; but only I have glimpses of it, and I watch reverently 

[* The omitted word, for which is substituted a dash enclosed in brack- 
ets, is no*, as many readers might suppose from the context, " Unitarian."] 



200 MKMOTR OF MBS. KEITH. 

for more light from my fellows " ! Tell me not I exaggerate, for 
my own ears have heard, as well as my own eyes have seen. 
Such was the cant to which I listened, in 1843, from a man whose 
M spirit " is in many respects truly beautiful, and therefore his 
teachings more dangerous, till my weary, sickened soul was well- 
nigh lost in horror, darkness, and despair. I wanted the help a 
sinner must have. I had lost my way. I tried to follow these 
new lights, but it was an ignis fatuus t that left me in darkness and 
in the wilderness. And had not God, who causes " light to shine 
out of darkness," shone upon me with His glory and grace, as seen 
" in the face of Jesus Christ," where had I been now ? Oh, how 
feebly does my heart and life thank Him for His wonderful good- 
ness to me ! — But I am wandering. " Heresy " is a word that 
must not be whispered in the meridian of Boston. Oh ! no. 
u What is any mortal, that he should dare call his fellow mortal 
to account ? " — should dare to be positive in his convictions of 
truth ? But the apostles had a definite idea of the gospel, and 
they would have " dared " to arraign an " angel," could he have 
preached another gospel. The church (I use the term here in the 
popular sense) no longer holds the first place in the minds of those 
who call themselves religious people — nay, of some who stand up 
as ministers for Christ. I could quote pages in proof of this ; but 
one that occurs to me shall suffice. It was spoken at a centennial 
— at a large gathering of all living generations. Alluding to chil- 
dren, the speaker says : " They spoke of what is to us (and I may 
say it with due thought) — what is, without reservation or excep- 
tion, the most pure, most Christian, therefore most powerful insti- 
tution in our midst, worth all the rest ten times repeated. The 
most pure, powerful Christian institution in our midst — the public 
school — better and stronger than constitution, law, or church " ! 
Tell it not in Gath ; publish it not in the streets of Askelon ; for 
this is not defeat from open enemies, but this is insidious treason 
from false friends. Ah, tell it not in Gath, that a man who stands 
up and claims to be Christ's minister — who stands up and claims 
to break unto others the bread of life (though he is only giving 

them miserable husks) — that a man But I forbear. The 

thought fills me with horror. What ! place public schools above 
the institutions of Christ ! But listen ; you are not quite on the 
top of the climax : " You may say that, without these last (that 
is, Christian institutions), public schools would never have been. 
Be that as it may, it will not be the first time that the child has 
been better and nobler than the parent, and become, in turn, 
guardian, support, and protector " ! " Protector " ! Where, 
where is the Founder of the church, that He has nothing to do 
even in " protecting " it ? This is Eev. speaking ; and 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 201 

thousands imbibed his pernicious poison without knowing what it 
was. "Why ! is he not an accredited physician ? and so men take 
his medicines, and find, at length, their health gone, and know not 
what has done it ! And there are hundreds of (so-called) Chris- 
tian ministers like him, and many who, like Theodore Parker, are 
more open, but less dangerous. It is not because they are 
Unitarians, dear Mary, that I thus speak ; it is because they are 
" false teachers," of whom it is not too much to use the strong 
language of the apostle, that they privily bring in "damnable 
heresies." The Bible says there may be, there can be such a 
thing as heresy — fatal heresy. Listen to another exponent (and 
here I do not mean Unitarians) of that set of principles that loos- 
ens the foundations of religious truth — that is, subjectively, in the 
minds of men ; for, objectively, truth is eternal, unchangeable — 
yea, He who is the manifestation of the truth, and the fulness of 
the Godhead bodily, Jesus Christ, is the " same yesterday, to-day, 
and forever." Blessed truth ! He is not merely a human being, 
that He should repent. But, according to one of its most elo- 
quent admirers, Dr. , what will be the result of this sys- 
tem ? It will be a dissolution of " the old unity of orders and 
authorities," and the reorganization of Christendom into a unity, 
not of form, but of practical assent and love — a " commonwealth 
of the spirit" ! — a "world-wide brotherhood" in unity of "moral 
ideas " ! " Practical assent " to what ? To the glorious axiom, 
probably, that nothing is absolutely and objectively certain and 
true, but that anything may by possibility be evolved as relative 
truth 1 Oh ! was it for this that God sent prophets and apostles, 
and, most of all, His dear Son, that blind man should still need to 
be searching for light and truth in a dark well ? I use the words 
"blind" and "dark," because the Bible uses them in describing 
man's mind and heart, and because I see foolish men groping and 
searching in themselves for what they need and must have, and 
yet never find, till, in utter despair and confession of weakness, 
they look up, and behold (oh, how blest that hour !) Him, who is 
" the Way, the Truth, the Light, the Life." Surely, none can 
come to the Father but by Him ; yet how many are saying, 
" Lord, Lord," who have not learned the first lessons in His 
school, though they use freely a certain vocabulary, and talk of 
Divine philosophy. You say, " If the tide does not turn " ! And 
what is to turn the tide? What shall stay the flood? Not they, 
surely, who are glorying in its onward course ! Not they who 
«ee not, and will not see whither they are being carried ! Or if, 
at last, the eyes of these should be opened, they must turn to 
sources they have hitherto despised for the succor that is needed. 
Oh, that they might indeed see and seek that succor before it is 
9* 



2'»2 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

too late ! But much I fear that he, who lives to see the last year 

of the nineteenth century, will see [ ] what Geneva has 

been for the last half century. Yes, start with horror, surprise, if 
you please ; but remember what the last half century hasv done, 
and remember that things go on now in the ratio of geometrical 
progression. I know that from 1825 to 1835, or even to 1840, 
Unitarians, and those who felt with them of all names, were ac- 
customed to exult in the triumph of liberal principles, in the work- 
ing of the new leaven, in the freedom of human thought ; but the 
few sober ones of that clique who remain, I believe already begin 
to hold their breath in anxiety as to whither the tone of public 
feeling and opinion is carrying them. Thus did the philanthro- 
pists and Girondists of France exult and dream, till they were 
swallowed up in the gulf their own eager hands had opened. 
But, as my dear friend reads all these thoughts and feelings im- 
perfectly thrown out, indeed she will sigh, and say : " Alas, that 
the friend I have thought so large-minded should be thus narrow- 
ing her view toward the dark past ! " I could wish not to pain 
you thus, but I must speak out my earnest convictions. I have 
come to them slowly, but I hold them more firmly for that. And 
as the apostle earnestly denied being mad, so must I earnestly 
deny being narrow in my views, except that narrowness which 
belongs to those who seek to walk in the narrow way that leadeth 
unto life — the narrowness that can trust but one Teacher, even 
Him, of whom it is said, " He that hath seen me hath seen the 
Father." Yes, I do turn to the past — that past, when Jesus 
taught, and with authority ; when the apostles were filled with 
the Holy Ghost, and were made overseers of that flock which the 
Shepherd had " purchased " with His own precious " blood," and 
which that Shepherd, departing, did not leave defenceless, un- 
directed. I go back to the past, to the church of the martyrs and 
confessors of Christ, and I find there all that is beautiful in form, 
all that is healthful and animating in influence, all that is life- 
giving in doctrine, all that is needed to cherish the spiritual life 
that Christ alone can impart, all that can be desired to form a 
growing and consistent Christian mind and heart and character. 
That all its members are holy in life or correct in their teaching, 
is more than can be said, or than could be said in the best and 
purest days of the church. But you will tell me that * * * 
But, wherever and whatever the error may be, [ ] is pass- 
ing on through Genevan stages. But I spare you. Do not, in 
anything I have said, deem me personal ; but these are my views 
in general, to which I am happy to make individual exceptions. 
You, my dear Mary, reverence and love the Bible, the only guide 
or light in a dangerous world ; but you will see many who per- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 203 

suade themselves they love it, while they only love the image 
their own intellect has placed there. You also, evidently, are 
tried with the deceit and falsehood of a deceitful world. Ah, 
Mary, did you know half the bitter things I could write of those 
most bound to deal well with me, you would have cause to think 
you could never confide in any mortal. And my whole nature 
would have turned to bitterness, were it not for the sweet thought 
that this is a world for which the blessed Savior was content to 
die ; in which He was content to live many years, and which He 
now constantly intercedes for, and blesses with a love rich above 
our highest thoughts. Shall I then suffer myself to be conquered, 
and to be driven back into my little self? No ; I will pray, and 
ceaselessly strive to love on, to labor on.* 



CHAPTER III. 

SEPTEMBER, 1 8 5 3 — DE CEMBER, 1854. 

Engagement to Rev. Cleveland Keith — Sketch of Mr. Keith— Battles hetween Impe- 
rialists and Rehels in and near Shanghai — Destruction of part of the City— Alarm 
of the other Missionaries, who take Refuge in the Episcopal Mission— Marriage 
•with Mr. Keith— Sickness of her Hushand— Glowing Eulogy on the Episcopal Ser- 
vices and Order— Review of her Life in China — Notice of Mr. Keith. 

FROM REV. CLEVELAND KEITH. 

Shanghai, Sept. 19, 1853. 

Dear Sir : You will perhaps be surprised at receiving a letter 
from a strange hand in this far-off land ; unless — as I very much 
suspect will be the case — you should read your sister's letter be- 
fore mine. In that case you will not wonder that, having had 
the great pleasure of knowing your sister, of loving her and being 
loved in return, I should wish to say a few words to you as her 
nearest and best-loved relative. Your sister, sir, has no doubt, in 
past years, attracted much admiration from many, and won the 
deep love of some ; but I may venture to say, that none of them 
have loved her more truly, more devotedly, than I. Thrown with 

[* Some (brief ) suppressions have been made in the above letter — a lib- 
erty I have nowhere else taken. I could not omit so remarkable a letter ; yet 
I have not given the writer's full thought on the subject. The sharp-sighted 
theological reader will be at no loss in discovering to what she refers.] 



204 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITII. 

her more or less for nearly two years, I could not fail to admire 
many of her noble qualities. But, in the midst of many opposing 
influences, and misled as to her real character by the opinions of 
others, and the reflex influence upon herself of misjudgment in the 
midst of great sorrow, it was not until the last two months that I 
learned to appreciate and to love her as she deserved. Knowing 
her, I could not fail to love ; and that love has been so happy as 
to obtain a return. I trust, sir, that event will make us not only 
acquaintances, but friends ; and that you will never have any 
occasion to be sorry for the day when your sister was engaged to 
Yours sincerely, 

Cleveland Keith. 
Rev. William C. Tennkt, Northfield, Mass., U. S. A. 



Shanghai, Sept. 19, 1853. 

My dear Be other : A few days since, hearing there was an 
opportunity for the mail, I hastily closed my letter, and will not 
open it, but proceed to write you another, for I have much to say. 
The regular mail i3 in, but many of the regular letters are miss- 
ing — those from the Mission Rooms and yours among the num- 
ber. I have written, and shall send by ship the first opportunity, 
a letter giving a full account of many things I have hitherto kept 
from you, and especially the history of 1852, and bringing up 
matters to the present time. You will in due time receive it, 
doubtless ; but, in the mean time, I cannot be content to keep you 
in ignorance of a most important event. In my last, I could have 
confidently spoken of its almost certainty ; but disturbing influ- 
ences coming, I preferred to wait till all was sure. The enclosed, 
in a strange handwriting, which I am sure your curiosity will 
impel you to read first, will tell you what I have written fifteen 
lines without yet saying ! And I am almost doubtful whether, in 
the mouth of two witnesses, you will be able to believe that I am 
once more beloved, and happy in loving. Mr. Keith this evening 
handed me the enclosed note for you. He has just left me ; but 
I cannot close the evening, and go to my slumbers, without re- 
cording for my brother the intelligence. I believe you will rejoice 
in it, but that you will also tremble, remembering my past sad 
history. You will, however, infer from the note that this will be 
no sham ; and when you read my long ship letter, you will see 
that there has been much to test affection, and, having been test- 
ed, it is the more worthy my trust. But you will wish me to 
describe more particularly the person to whom I have again en- 
trusted my affections and my earthly happiness. To begin, then, 
in plain English. You do not need me to tell you, I suppose, that 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 205 

Cleveland Keith is an Episcopal minister, and a member of this 
mission. He is the younger of two brothers, the son of Profes- 
sor Keith, formerly of the Episcopal Theological Seminary, Alex- 
andria, deceased some twelve or more years since. Their mother 
died when they were small children, and their second mother's 
death also preceded their father's. You see, therefore, he has 
known what it is to be alone in the world. In person he is just 
my height, has hair and complexion much like my owd, blue eyes, 
near sighted, and wears glasses, like my dear brother. His mind 
is highly cultivated, and his tastes are intellectual naturally, so 
that we are prepared in this respect to enjoy each other. He will 
love to have me go along with him in all his labors in intellectual 
sympathy, and he will enter into all my more humble labors of 
the same kind with just the feeling I should always wish him to 
do. He was religiously trained, and his character is thoroughly, 
consistently, and beautifully religious. His temperament (if I 
may speak in this manner), like mine, inclines him to religious 
subjects ; and with him I shall find that constant, intimate, warm 
religious sympathy and interchange of feeling that my nature so 
much craves — yes, and needs for its health and prosperity. In 
disposition he is cautious, reserved, and, what is almost a defect 
(though it is beautiful to me), too little self-esteem. He is a man 
who thinks for himself, and is very firm in his opinions. He is 
not a man given to many words, though he can talk when there 
is occasion. He is very industrious, and conscientiousness in 
everything is one of his most striking characteristics. It is now 
nearly two years that I have known him ; and, though I did not 
have any particular liking for him, on account of his prejudice 
against me, I always admired his consistency of character, and 
that, wherever he was, he bore with him the impress of the ser- 
vant of God. He is not subject to extremes of feeling, like my- 
self; never so gay, never so cast down, but always cheerful. His 
characteristics seem to be just such as mine need in order to my 
life-long comfort and improvement ; and some of my characteris- 
tics are such, I hope, as will give him peculiar satisfaction. He 
is remarkably neat and methodical for a gentleman, without hav- 
ing the least particle of fussiness ; and I must tell you that — it is 
so long since you have known me ! — I am as orderly as dear Kate 
could have wished me to be. Oh ! how naturally a feeling simi- 
lar to those I used to have after my parents' death sprang up in 
my heart — namely, the thought that would seek expression thus : 
" How Kate would rejoice in this event ! " But she needs not 
earthly joy now. And last, but not least, Mr. Keith has seen and 
knows my faults, and has had the opportunity of looking at them 
through all the harsh judgments of others, as well as with his own 



206 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

perceptions. Through all this and over all this, he loves me, and 
therefore I can trust his love without one fear that I shall be be- 
trayed, and again left in desolation. He has never thought or 
called me " angel " or " perfection ; " but he does think me an 
earnest-minded, Christian woman, whose aim is to do right and to 
be useful in the world. You perceive, I have not gone into any 
ecstasies or descriptions of my feeling for him ; but I have taken 
great pleasure in writing this full account of him, both because I 
knew you would wish the fullest description, and because I am 
sure you will see in it the elements of such a character as you will 
be able to believe will make me happy, and in him such an one as 
you yourself would love, and love to call brother. His parents 
were natives of Vermont. His education was received partly at 
the North and partly at the South, though he has spent a large 
portion of his years at the South. On important questions, such 
as church and slavery, our views harmonize, though, perhaps, not 
exactly identical. In this union I shall have the climax of what 
all my life I should have preferred — namely, a minister and a mis- 
sionary. And I am in the work and in the field which I should 
choose to be. You, my brother, I know will rejoice with me, 
though it fixes my lot far from you ; for you feel, I know, as 
deeply as I can, that life is only valuable as we live for a great 
object ; and that to be near our friends, or to enjoy their affec- 
tions, will not entirely satisfy the heart, though, in the weary war- 
fare of life, we need such comfort and refreshment. Thus, you 
see, God has been very good to me-'-better than my hopes ; and 
oh, how much better than my deservings ! By trial He was pre- 
paring me for what He had prepared for me ; and, though there 
is still something of trial around me, I am confident that even 
that (though it is not joyous) shall work for my good. You know 
my exceeding pr oneness to excess in emotion, and exceeding joy 
might, as in past times, be dangerous for me ; and therefore a kind 
Father tempers it, that it may not injure me. The sharp anguish 
of 1852 has doubtless left its mark on my features ; but Mr. 
Keith says he would prefer the Carrie of 1853 to the one of 
1851, for he is sure that the trials have been good for me. Thus, 
my dear brother, it has proved true that it was darkest before day. 
You would not have believed such a dawn was preparing for me ! 
Shall it not be a lesson (oh, how hard, to learn it perfectly !) to 
trust God for the future ? I know sister Lizzie will sympathize 
with you, and with her far-off sister, in the subject of this letter ; 
and you will both rejoice that I shall at length know the joys of 
home, the shelter of a husband's love ! 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 207 

TO MISS ALMIRA OSBORNE. 

Shanghai, Oct. 1, 1853. 

* * * As this letter will be so old when it reaches you, I 
do not feel like writing much ; but I will proceed, however, to 
record what will doubtless be of some interest to you — viz., that 
at this moment there is a brisk cannonading going on before the 
city of Shanghai, at the southeast. We live on the river, three 
miles distant, and can see the smoke of the besieging fleet, and 
hear with perfect distinctness the continuous sound of the guns. 
Twenty Chinese guns are not equal to one of those of the West- 
ern nations ; but still there is already considerable bloodshed, and 
many are wounded. It is thought, however, that the rebels will 
continue to hold the city. I suppose you will have seen that the 
occasion of this attack is, that the city has revolted from the Tar- 
tar emperor. Of course, there is much and increasing distress and 
want among the poor. 

All the missionaries who lived in or near the city have left 
their residences, and most of them are here with us ; for we, by 
the sad fact of the absence of the Bishop and Mr. Syle and fam- 
ily, have considerable vacant room. Our school goes on as usual, 
but preaching is, just now, impracticable. * * * 

Indeed, dear Almira, I shall get out of patience with you (you 
know I never had much to spare) if you do not become a better 
correspondent. I shall give you up, and fix my hopes in that re- 
spect on Dennison. Come, make a rule, and keep it. Indefinite 
resolves to do better seldom are of much use ; and I do want to 
hear oftener from friends I love so well. Ask cousin D. what he 
thinks, and what he will do on my behalf. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Oct. 3, 1853. 

* * * How much better is God to me than my own 
wishes ! His mercy snatched me from certain and life-long un 
happiness. * * * If you knew Mr. K., you could never be 
tempted to fear (as I almost think you may, considering past be- 
trayals). He is no meteor-like, impulsive genius. In most things 
he is, I believe, slow in coming to a decision ; but he is much 
slower in reversing a decision once made. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNET. 

Shanghai, Oct. 3, 185a 

My dear Sister Lizzie : In my last I did not answer your 
kind note of May 29th ; but, now that another of June 25th has 



208 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

arrived, and with it the good tidings of your safety, I must cer- 
tainly inflict on you one of my notes. * * * 

I rejoice, my dear Lizzie, that a babe is in your home — a 
well-spring of joy, a constant sunshine. I am glad, especially, 
that Isabel will have something young to love. The only sad 
thought is, that it will never know much of me. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Nov. 17, 1853. 

* * * Mr. Keith has got up an admirable phrase to de- 
scribe the way I work. He says I work with the feeling that 
there is a " steam engine after me." I laughed heartily at the 
idea ; but it precisely describes the feeling. Occasionally, by a 
desperate effort, I stop the engine, and the period is memorable as 
one when I had no steam engine after me. I know it is not the 
best way of working ; but really, there is so much to do in this 
world, so much work of every kind, that I cannot help it. When 
one thing is accomplished, I see ten more rise up to be done. Mr. 
K. is very moderate on principle, and it is really refreshing to me 
that he moves more slowly than I do ; though he would not be 
characterized as at all lacking in quickness. 

November \%ih. — I have a headache to-day, my brother; but 
I must write, for I cannot help it — that is, cannot help writing, or 
doing something to " work off " my excess of feeling. For you 
must know that, last evening, at four and a half p. m., the long- 
expected box from my Brooklyn friends came to hand. And 
what a box ! and what children we were (for we all " count" on 
enjoying together the opening of our several boxes), and I the 
most of all ! If I thought before that my Brooklyn friends were 
exceeding kind, and if each year has surpassed the previous one 
in the testimonies of thoughtful affection and care for me, still 
more is this box a rich feast to the eye and to the heart. I only 
wished that some of these friends could have witnessed (invisible 
to me) my enjoyment, and that my dear only brother, from whom 
I have been so much separated, could have shared this pleasure 
with me. I know you will love to have me write about it ; and 
I cannot do better than to commence with a quotation from Dr. 
Lewis's letter, which, with twelve others, came in the box. 
[Here follows a long and interesting quotation, succeeded by a 
description of the useful, tasteful, and most acceptable presents.] 

I think you have not forgotten how eager and excitable is 
your sister's nature. It was dark before I got a good look at 
everything, and then I hastened to devour the letters. But the 
best was after tea, when the lamp was lighted, and my study was 
quiet. I had one with whom to read over and talk over all these 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 209 

letters, and all these good things — one whose love is better than 
all earthly gifts, and which heightens my every joy. As I said, 
all I wanted was my dear brother ; for never can yon be forgot- 
ten. The thought of you is a part of my consciousness. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Nov. 12, 1853. 

My dear Friend : As you would expect, the Celestial Em- 
pire does not hasten her progress. 

Before this reaches you, you will doubtless have heard of the 
revolt and siege of this city. For some weeks after that event 
all was quiet ; but at length, what is called an " imperial army," 
from Ching Keang Foo, the city which has been so long in pos- 
session of the rebels, and which the emperor's force have been so 
long besieging in vain, came in clouds to the rescue of this city. 
Waving of banners, brandishing of spears, firing of their rude 
cannons, robbing the defenceless, and torturing the few captured 
— of all this there has been plenty ; but real fighting, very, very 
little ; and the city is just as securely in the hands of the rebels 
now, as it was six weeks or two months since. The deposed ruler 
of this city and vicinity is making every effort for his master ; for 
he knows that his own life, and that of his family, will be the 
sacrifice if he fails to recover the city. The rebels, having pur- 
chased some old opium ships, and other foreign vessels, to lie off 
the city and defend the weakest part of the wall (which lies on 
the river), the ruler above alluded to also bought several opium 
ships. (Lest you should not understand what we, alas ! know too 
well, I must say these are unseaworthy ships, that are kept an- 
chored about twelve miles below here for " receiving ships," to 
smuggle opium conveniently.) This same energetic ruler also 
sent below — that is, to Macao and Canton — for war boats ; and 
about thirty, confidently reported to be piratical craft, have come 
to his aid. With all these, an attack was made, a few days since, 
upon the rebel ships, and upon the city. The ships were quickly 
taken ; for wind and tide were very strong in favor of the impe- 
rialists, while the rebel ships were poorly manned. But the firing 
from the city was so brisk, that the imperialists, with their prizes, 
were glad to get out of reach of the balls. The mode of attack 
on the water is quite piratical, a kind of ball being thrown on to 
any vessel within reach ; so that, if it ignites after being thrown, 
it is impossible to breathe the air ; and all that men on such an 
ill-fated vessel can do, is to throw themselves into the sea. These 
balls do not set the vessels on fire ; and when the smoke clears 
away, the assailants at once rush over the side and take posses- 
sion. The whole action was not more than a mile above us, on 



210 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

the river, and could be distinctly seen in every movement from 
our houses, even without the aid of a glass. When all was quiet 
on the water, we saw the smoke beginning to rise beyond the 
city, and it was not long before the whole east* and south sub- 
urbs were in flames ; and, as that vicinity contained many store- 
houses and lumber yards, the conflagration continued several days, 
and the destruction of property must have been very great. Last 
night a party of the imperialists entered the foreign settlement, 
with spears, banners, and matchlocks lighted, firing up the street 
through which they were marching. But a few foreigners fired 
on them, and each shot killed its man, and the troop got away as 
quickly as possible. They thus learned anew that foreigners do 
not waste gunpowder and shot. Our own place of residence is 
more remote from these imperial soldiers, being separated by a 
stream of water of considerable size. But it is decidedly unpleas- 
ant to have such people about, and to see pirate boats quietly an- 
chored in the river. The worst is, the shots of these people go 
so wide of the mark, that the accidental mischief is likely to be 
greater than the precise injury intended. Cannon balls and bul- 
lets of various sizes have not only fallen in the premises, but pene- 
trated the houses of several of the missionaries living (as most of 
them do) just outside the city walls. 

November 2lst — The arrival of the box by the " Alabama," 
containing so many proofs of affection and so many letters, was 
like a visit from dear friends. I read and reread all the ex- 
pressions of kindness and love, till I could not find another 
line. * * * 

The night has closed in dark and stormy, and the imperial 
fleet, which lies just below us on the river, has sent two of her 
smaller boats into the creek still nearer us. Doubtless the object 
is shelter from the wind ; but I did not like to see them coming so 
close to us. Even the very distant idea that we might be treated 
as many harmless country people have been, is somewhat fearful ; 
and they have it in their power to rob and annoy us as they 
please, before assistance could come to us. But I hope they will 
continue to think it best to let foreigners alone. In the distance, 
at the suburb of the city which is nearest to us, a bright confla- 
gration relieves the darkness, while it adds to the horrors of it. 
The imperialists are destroying yet more, and hundreds of people 
to-night lose their homes. The darkness, the flames, the vicinity 
of a lawless enemy, our remoteness from the foreign settlement 
and the ships of war, combine to give me a feeling of insecurity 
I have not previously known. But I know who has said : " All 
power is given Me in heaven and in earth." 

November 2dth. — Things here remain as they were ; the pirat- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 211 

ical junks line our river bank, and the army remain encamped. 
The rebels are as secure as ever in the city, and fighting goes on 
in the old style — that is, fighting furiously one day, and then rest- 
ing for many days. * * * 

Such is the nature of the Chinese mind, and its habits of no 
thought, that the opinions of the emperor as to religion will be of 
greater consequence. It is more difficult in this nation than in 
any other to work up. The people look to their ancestors, their 
rulers ; and, if these adopted Christianity, the people would be 
inclined to think of it. As it is, " the old custom " is good for 
them. It is impossible to describe how their system of study, as 
well as their rules for ordering manners, tends to keep this nation 
from the least advance. The classics, and their maxims, are to 
this people what the Bible is to Christians. "Who could be so 
bold as to question the holy sages ? is their feeling ; and the other 
strong feeling is, that there can be no wisdom superior to theirs. 
These sentiments and habits of mind they acquire from the earli- 
est. But were the powers — the emperor and the rulers — to ac- 
cept a different doctrine, I believe it would arouse the people, 
many of them, as from a sleep. One would suppose that the 
Chinese style of study and manners was invented for the express 
purpose of dispensing with the higher exercise of the mind. To 
fill the memory with thousands of words is the high ambition, 
and to know how to put them together again according to a cer- 
tain style. The other faculties sleep on — are never aroused — the 
use of them unknown. The translated addresses of the rulers to 
the people are often the most pompous and profound nonsense. 

December 10th. — This week another exciting battle occurred 
in full view of our dwelling. On Wednesday, about two p. m., 
the piratical fleet got under weigh, with wind and tide in their 
favor. I saw them as they were passing up ; but, not caring to 
spend the time watching their movements, went to my study. 
Soon I heard heavy and frequent guns, and saw the Chinese rush- 
ing hither and thither, as if to see some great sight. But as 
sights and sounds are not uncommon these days, I continued my 
employment. At last I was called, and, ascending quickly the 
veranda, what a sight met my eyes ! The whole suburb of the 
city, from the extreme eastern around to the northern suburb, was 
in flames ; and on the river near us hovered the destroying fleet. 
They had landed, and fired the houses by throwing hot fireballs 
among them. As they were thrown, they looked like meteors 
against the dark, wintry sky. The flames were raging furiously, 
and a strong southeast wind was carrying them over toward the 
whole city, and even toward the foreign town ; while the reckless 
pirates were pursuing their work of plunder. 



212 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

Most of this, as, indeed, all other suburbs, had been deserted ; 
yet there remained some inhabitants, and these were to be seen 
fleeing for their lives. Some, I am told, were burnt to death, and 
others were doubtless killed by the random shots. During all this 
time, the heavy cannonading from the rebel battery just on the 
river bank, at the east suburb, continued, and it was evident that 
their shots told on the attacking fleet. This is a most important 
position, which the rebels still hold outside the city. It defends a 
weak part of the wall, annoys the imperial fleet as they pass and 
repass, and facilitates the receiving of supplies for the city, as the 
rebels command the whole street leading thence into the city. It 
was not long before our eyes and ears told us that some vessel had 
blown up ; and we afterward found that the two vessels that had 
advanced on the battery, with the expectation of storming and 
taking it, were utterly destroyed. The remaining vessels, after 
hovering near the scene awhile, as if to enjoy their own cruel 
work, dropped down with the tide to their former place of anchor- 
age. Most mournful was the sight to see the devouring flames, 
and to know that the poor, as well as the rich, were rendered des- 
titute. The suburbs of the city, being on the river, are places of 
more wealth and business than even any portion of the city within 
the walls ; and now, what a scene of utter ruin ! "Very many of 
the assailants, among whom were some foreigners in the employ 
of the old Government, lost their lives, while only two of the 
rebel soldiers were killed. But we often hear of sad accidents 
happening to the innocent and neutral, the sick, and often persons 
in their own houses, killed by these uncertain and random shots ; 
and there is no reason to expect a change of this state of things. 

Saturday 1 December 17th. — To-day we ladies have visited the 
scene of the late destructive fire. It has been a beautiful day, 
and so still that we did not apprehend any danger. Except for 
the gateway of the temple of the " Queen of Heaven," which 
yet stands on the brink of the river, and for the immense incense 
burner, some twenty feet high (for burning incense), you could 
not believe that this space was, a few days since, covered with 
houses. The poor and the beggars have carried off whatever 
wood or iron remained, and nothing is to be seen but an extended 
plain of broken bricks. We approached the walls, where, at that 
hour, the marketing was done, and saw the men on the walls 
raising and lowering baskets. The sentinels could be seen at 
every loophole, looking very safe and triumphant. Passing on, 
we came to the " Little East Gate," opening on the street which 
leads down to the rebel battery. Here the gentlemen stopped, 
and inquired if two or three persons could not, on the morrow, go 
into the city to look after the poor converts. It was answered, 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 213 

inquiry should be made, and they should know in the morning. 
As they gave us permission, we walked down-street to the bat* 
tery, viewing the ruin which cannon shot had made of the houses, 
and remarking at almost every window a soldier stationed. Ar- 
riving at the battery of mud bags, we went around and viewed 
the guns — an Englishman who favors them, and who has hereto- 
fore suffered much from the imperialists, leading the way. Their 
guns were well placed, and they had secured not a few valuable 
ones from the two burnt vessels, and had, in consequence, extend- 
ed and strengthened their battery for another attack. It was 
curious to have the men greet us and reply to our questions in 
English. Not one there, probably, who could not talk the " Can- 
ton English." Though they were very civil to us, we were very 
glad to leave them. 

Monday, December 19th. — Yesterday, and the day before, 
some of the missionaries were allowed to enter the city. They 
found the various dwellings more or less penetrated with shot and 
cannon balls, but they represent the city as in good condition. 
Rice is cheap, and men are at work in their shops. It will be 
more hazardous hereafter to enter, as the imperialists have erected 
a battery on the bank of the river opposite the rebel battery, and 
balls are constantly flying in both directions. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Jan. 28, 1854. 

My dear Brother : Your letter of November 4th, with its 
sad tidings, has just reached me ; and what shall I say ? You do 
aot need me to assure you that you have my deepest sympathy, 
and that my tears mingle now with those you have shed for the 
dear little one who has passed away ! This will reach you when 
time will have somewhat allayed the sharpness of your grief ; and 
I will not, therefore, give expression to the thoughts and feelings 
that would otherwise flow to my pen. * * * 

My translations are in use, and, I trust, will be useful ; and, if 
my health is spared, I hope to be far more useful than I have ever 
been, and increasingly so. The field looks inviting. I see much 
to do. I mean to have at least one female day school, and hope 
to go on with study, and little translations to some extent. I am 
convinced that the female character generally lacks method ; and 
if I can only attain method, I can do fourfold what an extempore 
way of living could attain. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, April 10, 1854. 

* * * You ask if I shall now be more useful in China 
than in America, and how I can be useful. To the first question 



214 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

there can be, it seems to me, no absolute reply in one word. By 
the blessing of God on the faithful discharge of duty, there are 
many positions in America where I might, in all probability, have 
been very useful, and, comparing visible results, perhaps more so 
than I ever have been or could be in China. As a married 
woman, also, what I do will seem to be less than when single. 
But, omitting preliminaries and general observations, I will try to 
answer your question. You know, my duties here have hitherto 
been to teach three hours a day in English, to have a constant 
supervision of half the school {i. c, twenty-five or thirty boys) 
and to provide their clothing, and to attend to the giving out their 
clean clothes every Saturday. This " clothes-room " business is a 
very heavy one — the heaviest, most wearing part of my duty 
(though it does not seem to be missionary duty — does it ? — any 
more than keeping house) ; but the Chinese cannot be trusted, if 
one would train them to anything like cleanliness. I say " any* 
thing ; " for the Chinese, though said to be civilized, are more un- 
cleanly than you ever imagined, even by glimpses at Irish hovels. 
Besides the duties above mentioned, I have made it a duty to 
study Chinese with a teacher daily, and have been translating 
some simple books for the girls' school ; and I have endeavored, 
by letters to the church in Brooklyn, to excite and maintain an 
interest in our mission. 

Well, I " calculate " that " housekeeping M ought not to oc- 
cupy more of my strength than the teaching and the care of the 
boys did, so that I shall still have time to improve in Chinese, and 
do something at simple translations, to write just as many letters, 
and to have a girls' day school constantly under my care. A 
girls' day school is on this plan : Some twenty or thirty girls are 
collected, by giving them daily a few u cash " for rice money. 
They study, with a teacher that we hire for them, the gospel in 
the colloquial (not the classical), the catechism, and perhaps some 
simple geography, if they remain long. They are also taught to 
sew ; for, poor as Chinese women may be, they only know how 
to spin and weave, and cook the food for their families, and patch 
clothes a little ; none of them know how to make their own 
clothes, except their shoes and stockings. With us, these day- 
school children are every Sunday brought into the chapel, and see 
and hear and understand something of the worship of the true 
God. Of course, the more care and time the foreign teacher can 
give to any particular school, the more probability will there be 
of the profit of the pupils. Sometimes these pupils attend school 
a few months, sometimes a year or two ; and, as they disappear, 
one might feel the labor lost. But it is not so ; the true gospel is 
thus taught in some measure, and sent to the hovels of the poor. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 215 

Such a school as I have described costs about one hundred and 
fifty or one hundred and seventy-five dollars per year. "We are 
obliged to allow "cash," else the parents would keep the children 
at home to pick cotton, or to do whatever little thing they could. 
In connection with such a day school, I wish to try to itinerate 
among their parents ; but I am not confident about this, for there 
are great difficulties connected with such an effort. 

Well, here is my field. Is it not worth cultivating ? * * * 
We missionaries are all in one cluster now. The other night, 
the gentlemen all held consultation in our parlor, with guns in 
their hands, which they had procured from the ships. A guard 
of soldiers had been sent over the two previous nights ; but it was 
thought that the knowledge that we had firearms in our houses 
would be sufficient safety at present. After all this, Mr. K. came 
to my study sitting room, with musket and shot bag, to stay for a 
moment, as we had scarcely seen each other half an hour for sev- 
eral days. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, April 14, 1854—2} p. m. 

* * * Well, they have come ; and how good it is to see 
them all, it would be impossible to write. While they are refresh- 
ing themselves with dinner after their ship fare, I will betake my- 
self to my pen, and write to you, my dear friend. How I wish I 
could sit down and talk with you ! But since I cannot, will you 
let me write some of the thoughts and feelings that mentally I so 
often address to you ? * * * 

I used to feel that I would spend my best strength in China, 
and then return to my native land ; but I now feel that, come 
what will, China is my home, and its interests seem to be more 
on my heart than ever before. 

Mr. Keith and Miss Tenney were married on the 27th of 
April, 1854, in the chapel of the mission (Eight Kev. Bishop 
Boone, who had just returned from America, officiating on the 
occasion), and immediately took a short marriage excursion to 
Ningpo. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, June 12, 1854. 

* * * Your mention of people who open their eyes when 
they discover that your missionary friend is an Episcopalian, re- 
minds me of an old lady who said that " really she didn't wish to 
say any harm of any one, but she had heard that the high and 



216 . MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

mighty Episcopals had a church in New York, and it was said 
that they wouldn't allow the Savior to enter there, if He were to 
appear on earth again. She believed it was called the Trinitarian 
Church " (Trinity Church, N. Y.). And there are thousands and 
thousands of people in New England who feast on Henry Mar- 
tyn, Buchanan, Legh Richmond, on Scott, Newton, and Hannah 
More, without once knowing or thinking that they were " Epis- 
copals." A good " orthodox " uncle of mine once told me he 
thought Episcopalians and Unitarians the same — not worth a 
choice between them. So the people of New England have some- 
thing yet to learn ; for that is a very common idea. * * * 
Look for the lights of the church, her scholars, martyrs, and con- 
fessors. Examine what the Church of England has really done ; 
and, though she has most abundant reason to blush, surely, by 
comparison, there is no cause to shrink from the test. But I have 
said more than I meant, and this shall be my last ; so let me add 
one word more. You are mistaken in thinking me shut up in my 
own church here. All the denominations of Christians are 
around me — Baptist, Methodist, Sabbatarians, Independents, Ply- 
mouth Brethren, Presbyterians, &c. ; and this — not my isolation — 
this it is that helps to deepen my convictions that Christ's church 
is one fold, and that there are many in " schism." It is an old- 
fashioned word ; but, as a " liberal Christian," you will not blame 
me for the exercise of my observation and judgment and reason. 



TO THE SAME. 

Shanghai, July 20, 1854. 

* * * Yesterday an article happened to catch my eye, 
commencing thus : " Bayard Taylor, writing from Calcutta, says : 
* There are two schools here, under the charge of the Scotch 
Church. Neither of them, I believe, ever has made a single con- 
vert.' " The editor of the paper making this extract gives, below 
the quotation, a letter from the teachers of the schools to a minis- 
ter in Scotland, written in answer to some inquiries, in which it is 
stated that these schools have furnished several preachers, some of 
whom are very acceptable even to English congregations ; others 
are usefully and honorably employed, and in all the higher classes 
of the schools are baptized boys." These are the people who go 
home, and say : " Oh ! we have been on the spot ; we have seen ; we 
heard those who lived there for years, and they all say so," &c, &c. 
I would risk thousands (were I in the habit of betting) that they 
had never conversed with a missionary half an hour under a mis- 
sionary's roof. This same B. T. was here, and at Nankin, a year 
ago last April, and, in company with the officers of the ships of 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 217 

war, called here once, stared at us as at some wild things, said 
nothing, and went away. Now, what would his testimony be 
worth, should he send home a paragraph saying he had heard of 
no success, and he had visited the missionary establishments, and 
that those persons seemed to be living very much at their ease ? 



TO MRS. GORDON". 

Shanghai, Aug. 2, 1854. 

* * * May I ask for a long, old-fashioned letter from 
you ? It is asking too much, perhaps ; for you are very kind to 
write me so regularly, and one is usually much occupied in au- 
tumn. To-day completes four years since my arrival in Shanghai ; 
which time has all been fully occupied in labor, except the usual 
holidays, and six weeks at the time of my marriage. My bodily 
strength has been constantly laid out and much taxed, and my 
mental labor has been constant, except six months of the year 
1852, when I studied but little. But the year 1853, and to the 
Bishop's arrival, last spring, I studied and worked as I never did 
before, and as I am almost afraid I never shall again. I felt my 
strength failing last winter and spring ; and this summer, with its 
intense heat, seems to have exhausted all my energies. For the 
last few months I have not been able to study at all, but have 
been compelled to reserve all my strength for teaching. We now 
have vacation of a fortnight. I hope the rest and cool weather 
will set me up. 

But, though I have given the strength of an unusually vigor- 
ous body, and the thought and effort of my mind, I have come far 
short of duty in faith, prayer, patience, love ; and it is my earnest 
desire and constant effort, as God shall give me grace, to grow in 
love for these poor heathen, and in faith in a faithful God. 



TO MRS. WILLIAM T. CUTTER. 

Shanghai, Sept. 2, 1854. 

Dear Cousin Frances : The far-famed wise man, who " cut 
off his own nose to spite his face," we have all heard of. I am 
tired of following his example, and therefore, notwithstanding 
your persevering silence, I once more take my pen to address you. 
Where are you? How are you? What are you doing? I 
have almost lost sight of you ! I know, my dear, ever kind, lov- 
ing, and much-loved cousin Frances, I know that you now have 
several absent children to tax your pen, and, as ever, numerous 
claims upon your time, day by day. But could you not, once a 
year, find time for a letter to China ? Must I, as years roll on 
10 



218 MEMOES OF MRS. KEITH. 

(and nearly five have now sped since I left America), find my let- 
ters no longer numbering five or more a month, but only one, or 
not even that? Must I, whose thoughts day by day revert as 
fondly as ever to the loved ones I left, at length admit the unwel- 
come conclusion, that I am fading from their memory ? Will 
you, as some of my other friends seem to do, suppose that, now I 
have one friend here dearer than all else, I shall not care so much 
for letters ? True, I may not be so lonely or so distressed in 
their absence ; but I shall lack the lively enjoyment an affection- 
ate letter never fails to give me. Dear Frances, you, who would 
so freely give me hours and days of your time were I in Brook- 
lyn, can you now find no evening for one whose habitation is so 
far removed, and whose home is among strangers in a strange 
land? 

But enough on this subject ; it is the last time I shall dwell 
upon it. Should you write, tell me all about your whole family. 

And now a word for myself. I have not enjoyed anything 
like my usual strength for a year past, though I have kept on as 
usual with all my employments till this summer, when (though 
relieved of the outdoor cares of my school matters, and having only 
my class to teach, and therefore more time at command) I have 
been able to study but very little, finding that the most exhausting 
labor I undertook. I am simply run down ; and, were mountain 
or sea air and rest possible here, I should soon recruit. But then, 
I must rest ; and that is so hard to do, when there is so much in 
the language which I need to learn. But rest, I am convinced, I 
must have here (I mean as to any effort outside of school duties), 
or else find myself exiled to America for it. And u exile " it 
would be to me now, so accustomed have I become to the hope 
and plans and joy3 that belong to China. I find the little time I 
have to give to housekeeping always beneficial, as compelling me 
to gentle exercise. I have one servant who cooks and washes 
(and the washings in this climate, where gentlemen are all in 
white for six months per year, are necessarily large), and another 
servant who washes dishes, scours knives, &c, and a woman ser- 
vant gives me an hour every day. The customs of China, and a 
residence here, are such that, when single, I was obliged to have 
one servant besides this woman. It is much cheaper than putting 
out washing. A manservant here costs from three to four dollars 
per month, and finds himself. My domain consists of three rooms 
and a pantry and closet, and a kitchen, storeroom, and sleeping 
room for the servants out doors. I sit so much in Mr. Keith's 
study, when out of school, that I scarce seem to need a parlor ; 
for I have less company, and visit less, than anybody else in the 
mission. Indeed, I have no strength to spare that way. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 219 

You will excuse my writing so much of myself, since you 
won't give me anything else to write of. * * * 

And now, good-by, dear cousin. Whether silent or other- 
wise, you will ever have my frequent remembrance and warm 
affection. With love to all, believe me ever yours, 

Caroline. 

P. S. — A woman's u P. S." is not the least important part of 
her letter ; and I hear you saying : " Why don't she write me 
about Mr. Keith ? " Because a small sheet won't hold much j 
and I should want it all for that subject, if I commenced ! You 
may be assured, he is to me one of the best and kindest in the 
world ; and all the rest you must imagine, till you see us. 

TO WILLIAM T. CUTTER. 

Shanghai, Sept. 29, 1854. 

Dear Cousin William : * * * The slaves and the Ne- 
braska bill seem to be making great work in the United States. 
I only hope the North will have the proper spirit — not a childish 
rage, but a lofty and determined purpose to have a free soil at any 
cost. But to bluster, and then to play into the hands of the 
South, is far worse than to be silent. I am deeply interested in 
the issue of the present crisis, though I am so far away. * * * 

I will not add more now, because I am going to write a little 
more to coz. Frances, and a letter to Mary. Ever your affection- 
ate cousin, 

Caroline P. Keith. 

TO MRS. JAMES P. ROBINSON, 
{Then of Brooklyn, now of Sacramento, Cal.) 

Shanghai, Sept. 29, 1854. 

My dear Cousin Mary : When I left America, I should not 
have premised that the cousin who would have written me the 
most fully and frequently would have been yourself; yet so it is, 
and I am much obliged to you, and grateful for such proof of 
your affectionate remembrance of me. * * * 

You do not need that I should say, dear Mary, how much I 
was gladdened by the intelligence your letter afforded me, that 
you were indeed seeking to follow the Savior, and setting your 
affections upon things above. May you be indeed strengthened 
from day to day, and, by the blessing of God, become useful in 
the church of Christ. When you wrote, you were just commen- 
cing, and you felt your weakness, your need of strength, of coun- 



220 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

sel, of light. You will find all you need, dearest Mary, in the 
word of God. Look not too much to other Christians — not even 
the dearest, and, as you think, the best ; but go in simplicity to 
Him who is u the "Way, the Truth, and the Life." You will 
never go in vain. I trust you have been enabled so to look to 
Him, that you have not become weary, but have gone from 
strength to strength. If you have health and opportunity, go out 
among the poor, especially on the Sabbath, in those Union Sun- 
day schools. Oh, were I there again (how often, as I look back, 
I say to myself ), how much more in earnest should I be ! I 
would much enjoy an interview with you now ; but, as that can- 
not be, I can only pray that you may become greatly blessed, and 
a blessing to all around you. Your first thought of usefulness 
must be to your husband ; your first, best prayers for him. My 
kind regards to him, and my best wishes for the best welfare of 
you both. 

TO MISS PLTJMER. 

Shanghai, Oct. 7, 1854. 

My dearest Mart : Your kind letter of January 31st to 
your dear " Tenney " was received a few days since ; and her 
successor and representative hopes to make her place good as a 
friend and correspondent. I hope that the old sneer, " Married 
ladies are always poor correspondents, and drop their former inti- 
macies," will never be justified in my future conduct. 

I am writing from the sickroom of my husband, where I 
have been kept most of the time for the last four weeks. [The 
attack was severe, protracted, alarming, and Mr. K.'s recovery 
slow. She speaks of two sick servants, and one of them was 
also M grumbling and lazy." In one sentence she says : u All 
that I could desire now is, health for us both to labor here in 
China."] * * * I was much interested in your politics. My 
brother and you, and the Tribune, of which I had received two or 
three numbers by the same mail, were all on the same key. I 
sympathize in the feeling of the Northern people, but not in all 
they did about it. I hope it will not end in mere talk, but that 
they will see to it that such rulers are chosen as shall not play into 
the hands of the South any longer. I must say, I would choose 
deliberate dissolving of the Union, before such continued support 
and extension of slavery. 

TO MISS GOODRIDGE. 

Shanghai, Oct. 29, 1854. 

My dearest Charlotte : I feel strongly moved, this bright, 
sweet Sabbath morn, to say " How d'ye ? " as we meet on our 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 221 

way to church. "We used to do so sometimes, you know. But it 
is Saturday night with you, and, perhaps, weary, you are gone to 
your slumbers ; or else you are gladly anticipating the coming 
Sabbath rest in that little chamber over the entry. I am glad I 
was in that little room, though but for a moment, for now I 
always think of you there. This is a calm, soft autumn day, and 
comes to me and mine loaded with blessing and richest mercies ; 
and, were my heart grateful and loving in proportion to what is 
bestowed on me, how glowing it would be this morn with praise, 
thanksgiving, and love ! My dearest friend, whose tender love 
and care and sympathy and counsel are my daily happiness and 
blessing, has been brought low repeatedly with severe illness ; 
and not only was / anxious, but all his friends, and the physician. 
Thus early was I reminded that there is a worm at the root of 
every earthly joy. But he has been raised up, and is now able to 
attend to his usual duties, though not yet free from trouble in the 
seat of the disease. Still, the complaint seems now under the 
control of medicine, and there is good hope for his perfect recov- 
ery. My own health is more vigorous than it has been for more 
than a year past, and far more so than during the last summer ; 
and I hope, therefore, to do a good winter's work. 

p. m. — Your letter, having arrived the day before yesterday, 
is so fresh in my mind, that I have thought of you a great deal to- 
day, and have sat down to chat a little more with you before I go to 
my Sunday class. You mention attending the Episcopal church 
in Boston, and remark that we should have 4< sympathized, at 
least, in the enjoyment of the sermon, which was excellent ; " 
and you add, the " prayers were well and feelingly read." Now, 
as you love me to be frank, let me sit down by you in your little 
chamber, and talk to you a little about what I enjoy most in my 
beloved church ; yes, and what you, my dear C, would enjoy too, 
had you only a loved Episcopal friend near you to open your eyes 
and ears and heart to what is offered in the services and order of our 
church. Now, I am not expecting or wishing to proselytize, nor 
argue, but only to explain a little, on the natural principle and feel- 
ing that we love to have a dear friend enter into our feelings and 
reasons for what we admire. You will not misunderstand me. 
Come with me, dear Charlotte, to my own Episcopal church. I 
will not ask you to admire the pure, white dress of the minister 
we see within the chancel, though I see there a fit emblem of the 
purity and holiness which should mark him who ministers in holy 
things. I did not always like that dress ; but now it is a remem- 
brance to me. But this aside. You will kneel with me, I know, 
in silent prayer; and, invoking the Searcher of hearts, you will 
feel that it was well thus to impress your own heart by the out- 



222 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

ward posture and mental prayer. As we rise, the voice of God 
in His word is heard in some of the select sentences : " The Lord 
is in His holy temple ; " or that other, which must so often have 
healed the bleeding heart of the penitent : " If the wicked man 
turneth away from his wickedness," &c. (and other sentences 
which you can read for yourself.) Then, are not the exhortation 
and confession just fit for sinners ? Imagine a thoughtless one 
arrested by this admonition, and the penitent pouring out his real 
sorrow before God in those words of humble confession. Oh ! 
Charlotte, that is a confession it is good to use twice, yea, thrice a 
day ; it is good to say it, and never forget it. Do you learn it, 
and see if the use of it does not become sweet to you. And 
then, the words of the minister, declaring God's willing mercy. 
Now we will join, and say, M Our Father." When we rise, I am 
sure we shall feel that glory is due to the holy Trinity, and rejoice 
to join in that ascription of praise. And then, dear C, where 
shall we find any hymn, any uninspired composition, sweet though 
many are, which can so well express the full heart's gratitude, as 
" Oh ! come, let us sing unto the Lord," &c. ? I do not know 
that you will like the responsive reading of the Psalms ; but I 
know I always find it sweet to go along with the Psalmist thus. 
It was in something responsive, you know, that the Psalmist had 
them used. After that, I am sure our souls will be melted and 
yet raised by that almost unequalled " Gloria in Excelsis." It has 
often thrilled my soul as no ordinary hymns can do. God, not 
our own feelings, is the subject. Then we shall listen gladly to a 
portion of Scripture from the Old Testament, and not tire. (Be- 
lieve me, there is a dearth of Scripture in the services of the 
numerous denominations of the present day, and people look be- 
yond, impatient for the sermon.) And now, if you do not with 
every power join in the glorious " Te Deum " — the most sublime 
of all uninspired hymns — I cannot say anything to help you. 
How the devout soul is lifted, and often rapt in those sublime 
strains ! The greatness and eternity of God, the worship of the 
heavenly hosts, the holiness and majesty of Him who is Lord over 
all, the company of the faithful dead and of the saints on earth, 
the cloud of witnesses, the person of Christ, the office of the 
Comforter, the salvation purchased at such cost for sinners, the 
humble confidence of Christian faith, the trust in God's mercy — 
all, all in rich fulness is before the mind, and swells the heart in 
those noble words. Just look again at the " Te Deum " ; what 
an epitome of Christian faith and of Christian feeling ! Shall we 
now be weary, or not wish rather for the words of the gospel ? 
and, when the New Testament has been read, will it be an idle 
thing to the Christian to stand up and confess his belief? and will 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 223 

not his heart be touched anew as he confesses Him who was 
" crucified, dead, and buried " ? — But I am becoming diffuse, and 
must hasten, while I fain would loiter. It does me good to dwell 
here, and I only yearn that others should learn to enjoy it as it 
can be enjoyed, and as I have been sometimes privileged to enjoy 
it. I used to hear people speak of " the service of the Episcopal 
Church " — " our church," as its members would say. But I heard 
them with suspicion of cant, or else with wonder at the power of 
early habit. But surely, with me — with many — it is not H cant," 
nor " the power of early habit," but, rather, the power of a deep 
devotion and chastened adoration in the very spirit of the whole 
service, that moves and wins and fixes the soul of the worship- 
per. I would like to linger on each separate collect and prayer in 
our morning and evening service, and point out the fulness and 
completeness and depth there is in them to my mind ; though to 
yours (I know from my own past experience) they may seem bro- 
ken and disjointed. But I must pass on to the Litany ; only, in 
passing, must beg of you to notice the " Prayer for all conditions 
of men," and the " Thanksgiving " ! Could thrice the number of 
words include more meaning? And for the Litany — have you 
ever joined in it with all your heart and with your voice ? Let 
us do so. And can you find any need of human misery, any peti- 
tion of human weakness, omitted in this unequalled composition ? 
The evils of the heart are there spread out, and the mercy and 
compassion of God constantly implored. Oh, that I could live as 
in that Litany I pray ! After a Psalm in metre comes the u Com- 
mandments " ; and if now — as I used to do — you think them 
needless in the service, you will not after a while. You will feel 
that it is good, on your knees, to hear, " God spake these words, 
and said ; " and you will feel your need to pray, " Lord, incline 
our hearts to keep this law ! " Dearest Charlotte, are you weary ? 
I will not believe it, for you say you love to have " an open- 
hearted letter " ; and here is one in which I have poured out the 
deepest feeling of my heart. My attachment to the service and 
order of my own dear church grows with every year of my life. 
If you have not a " Prayer Book " of your own now, procure one 
for my sake, and explore its treasures. Take it to that u little 
room over the entry," and let it be a companion there, to speak 
for itself. Look at the order of the ecclesiastical year. Advent 
— Christmas — so joyous, so real and realizing (if I may use such 
terms) to the earnest Episcopalian ! Then the period of Lent ; 
then the glorious Easter, &c. It seems to me there is much in 
the order of our church to keep the religious emotions fresh, by 
continually bringing into recurrence the great events of our Chris- 
tian record. Look, dear C, at some of the collects; for in- 



224: MEMOIR OF MES. KEITH. 

stance, that for the first Sunday in Advent ; the second, the third, 
the fourth Sunday after Epiphany ; the sixth, the next Sunday 
before Lent ; the second Sunday in Lent ; the collects for Good 
Friday, Easter Even, the first Sunday after Trinity, the fourth 
Sunday after Trinity, the sixth, the seventh, the eighth, the 
twelfth, the seventeenth. But I must pause, and ask you to look 
for yourself. To me there is a completeness and fulness, and 
often depth of meaning in these, too, which no modern and ex- 
tempore prayer carries in it. Do not misunderstand this last 
word. Extempore prayer has its uses and benefits, and I would 
be the last one to undervalue it ; but, dear C, I often am troubled 
by the multitude of " words without meaning," the swelling ex- 
pressions that good men fall into in their extempore prayers. It 
seems to me, our church prayers are in this like the Lord's prayer 
— that they are simple, quiet, but oh, so full of meaning ! I often 
think that there is a somewhat similar difference between the 
prayers extempore of the present style and the prayers of our 
Prayer Book, that there is between the fashionable religious books 
of the day and the simple, quiet style of the Bible. I do not 
mean to hint, by this remark, that our Prayer Book has the least 
pretence to inspiration — what it has of this, is what it contains of 
Scripture — but only that people of the present day (and perhaps 
of other days) crave excitement ; and the prayers of the church 
seem tame, and so does the Bible seem tame, often, to those who 
live on the popular, inflated religious reading of the day. (Of course, 
I discriminate, but I do think it a characteristic — a strong one — of 
religious literature now.) Now, dearest C, you know me well 
enough to believe that I am not writing " at " you in the least 
word ; I am only having a large talk of my own views and feel- 
ings ; and, though I make a long yarn, I'll rest a long while by 
and by, and give you leave to have as much. * * * 

Now, to leave criticism, and to come back to Boston to church, 
you see I should expect your sympathy in the services yet more 
than in the sermon, and consider them the most important and 
valuable part of the occasion. Scripture is through them and in 
them all ; and the worship of God, not the entertainment of man, 
is the great object sought. But you will say, " Not entertain- 
ment ; sermons are for profit." Yes ; but humble confession and 
exalted praise, and the hearing of God's word, is not less — is it ? — 
for profit. " The entrance of Thy word " (" giveth light " ) ; not 
the curious, though most interesting discourse of man. Now, 
don't begin to feel bad, and put me down among the " high and 
dry churchmen," who undervalue preaching. No, I value it just 
enough ; for it is by such " foolishness " that many precious souls 
are to be made wise. And St. Paul was a great preacher, but 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 225 

not, I fancy, of the style some suppose. You see, that in all this 
talk of mine, years have not passed without making their changes 
in my opinions, and not less in my tastes ; and I am an out-and- 
out, not a halfway Episcopalian ! And my friend Charlotte is a 
devoted little Congregationalist, and I love her very heartily, and 
I know she loves me; and I trust that, through all the various 
discipline to which, in the providence of God, we have each been 
subjected, we may at last meet with the church triumphant, and 
join in the same service and the same song. So good-by to-night. 
It is just morning with you, and you have awaked to welcome a 
new Sabbath. May it be one of rich profit and joy to your soul ! 



TO MISS ALMIRA OSBORN. 

Shanghai, Nov. 1, 1854. 

* * * I have now been married more than six months, 
and go on very much the old fashion. I teach in the boys' board- 
ing school (now twenty-three boys), and I have just had a little 
room put up to open a girls' school (day school), and, when I 
have strength, I study. But here is the rub. Oh, for the 
strength I had ten or twelve years ago ! I find study exhausts 
me most, and I shall be obliged, I fear, to give it up, if I expect 
to keep on teaching. That tires me, too, if I have dyspepsia on 
me. I love to write as well as ever (though I am married), and 
I do write, I believe, as much as ever I did, for I still have many 
correspondents ; but I have to pay for it by a weary back and 
throbbing head. You see, I can't be altogether my old self, if 
letter writing and study make themselves thus felt in immediate 
exhaustion of strength. 

I am often so tired by dark, that I go to bed as soon as I can. 
Many a day passes that I do not read ten pages, for I am too 
weary. I used to tell aunt I was sure I should " always read" ; 
and, had I more strength, no doubt I should, though it is also true 
that books have lost their freshness. I see mainly old ideas in a 
new dress. The world has not anything very new to me now. 
Besides, the duties, the hard work of life presses, and there is no 
time ; so it is well there is less eager desire to read books. Yet, 
when I feel strongest, it is astonishing how the relish of old em- 
ployments returns ; which relish seems gone when I am feeble. 
When I say " feeble," it is only by comparison with what I used 
to be, for there are few ladies here who enjoy better health than 
I do. I am never sick, and never strong, and often weary, weary, 
so weary ! Mr. K. does all he can to keep me in check, and, did 
he know I was writing now, would groan : for he saw I was 
tired when I came in, and I have yet to teach three hours. 
10* 



226 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO MRS. SUMNER. 

Shanghai, Dec. 28, 1854. 

My dear and still faithful Friend : Many thanks for 
your long and kind letter of August, which came to hand last 
month. My hope was exhausted, though not my love. You 
know I do not abound in hope — much to my loss, ever I But I 
have always been so happy as never to doubt your love for me, 
though distance and time and silence separated us. You loved 
me, I always felt, differently from any one else ; and I felt that 
such a love would endure. You understand me, and I need not 
explain. Oh, that I could see you, and, throwing aside the cold, 
slow pen, speak with living and rapid utterance ! Time has 
checked the ardent manner and feeling that once belonged to me ; 
but, could I see you, I think the " wonted fires " would live again, 
and I should forget that change had passed upon me. Soon will 
be completed a period of eight years since I parted from you. 
What years they have been to you, to me ! Sorrow, trial, joy and 
victory, peril and succor, chastening and blessing, toil and weari- 
ness — all these, and more, have been ours. But I must not, here 
and now, linger at length on the past, for there is too much in the 
present — and, may I not say, in the future ? — to leave me time to 
speak of all ; and I must make choice. I wrote you before leav- 
ing for China — did I not ? — and then again, and once more, nearly 
two years since, the February of 1853. We have heard of each 
other, doubtless, in the interval. Cousin Mary Robinson spoke 
of an interview. When you were writing me, last August, and 
addressing me as the very same " Carrie " of olden time, I had 
been married four months. Ere this moment of my writing, you 
have doubtless heard something of it ; but I think I hear you say, 
u Tell me all about it." Well, then, to begin. As you will sup- 
pose, when I came to China, it was with the idea of never marry- 
ing, as I wished ultimately to devote myself to a school for girls 
here. Several opportunities occurred to test my mind on the sub- 
ject ; but in each case I should either have been obliged to leave 
the missionary field of labor, had I changed my mind on this 
point, or else I should have become attached to some denomina- 
tion of Christians I did not prefer. These cases, therefore, never 
called for much serious consideration. However, in time my way 
to the post I had coveted, as devoted to the instruction of girls, 
was closed, in a way which left no one to be blamed. My posi- 
tion was then as one of a corps of teachers in an Anglo-Chinese 
school for boys. This is a good field for labor, which I had been 
happy to occupy in the idea of a future more devoted to the girls 
of this part of China. It was a field where I could constantly 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 227 

labor, especially as it allowed me time and some strength for other 
departments of useful labor. 

As it happened, however, one of our own mission, who had 
come out the year succeeding that of my departure for China, felt 
himself in need of a companionship that mission bonds merely 
would not suffice to fill. 

You, my dear friend, knowing my almost, if not quite, exces- 
sive yearning for sympathy, for some one friend near me with 
whom I can have more than common unity and communion, and 
bearing in mind, moreover, that all my habits, manners, tastes, 
modes of thinking, and most of my opinions, are after the " North- 
ern " style, while, on the other hand, the excellent people around 
me were all Southern — I say, knowing all this, you will not be 
slow in imagining that I too often felt alone. You do not need 
many words ; you see it all. Enough to tell you, that, in Septem- 
ber of last year, I was engaged to be married to Rev. Cleveland 
Keith, of our mission. The Bishop being then absent in America 
(as well as the then superintendent of the boys' school), our mar- 
riage was not to take place till the Bishop's return, in the spring 
ensuing. The intermediate winter months passed Quietly, busily, 
swiftly — and, shall I add, happily ? In the day, with our usual 
labor ; in the evening, with work, studies, and reading ; so time 
silently sped away, till the Bishop's arrival in April — as it hap- 
pened, on Good Friday. He was accompanied by Mrs. Boone, 
the superintendent of the school, by the Chinese convert, Mr. 
Tong, and by two single ladies, Misses Wray and Conover. 
After Easter, the preparations for the wedding were commenced 
in earnest, and the day was fixed — Thursday, April 27th. The 
Bishop was kindly desirous of giving me a handsome wedding ; 
and as it is not often that marriages of missionaries, who have not 
been previously married, take place on missionary ground, the 
occasion promised to be one of pleasant interest to the whole mis- 
sionary corps of Shanghai. Mrs. Boone, sister of Bishop Elliott, 
of Georgia, accustomed to affluence, is, moreover, a person of 
refined and elegant taste. One of the newly arrived ladies, from 
an old family of Georgia, and an artist of considerable talent, gave 
an air of elegance to everything she touched. There were two 
others also, not deficient in taste and skill. For myself, my hands 
were busy with school matters, and in giving some attention to 
the tailors, who were completing my dresses. It was the season 
for flowers, and the drawing room at the Bishop's was most beau- 
tifully arranged. I was unfortunately sick for some days previous 
to the 27th, and could not even go over to get a peep at all the 
pretty things, which, on the occasion, I saw as though I saw not. 
We went to chapel (our neat chapel for the Chinese), where were 



228 MEMOIR OF ME8. KEITH. 

gathered the various schools, numerous Chinese, and a select num- 
ber of friends. On leaving chapel, we went to the Bishop's, where, 
at 7£ o'clock P. M. (the ceremony was at 6-^ p. m. ; it could not be 
later, as it would have been dark, and the chapel could not be 
lighted ; besides, I had a fancy for sunlight, and it was at sunset), 
the guests assembled — all the missionaries and a few others, to the 
number of sixty persons. Everybody's face shone with pleasure. 
Perhaps you will say (for I see you smiling), " It was but the 
reflection from the countenances of the happy pair." Be that as 
it may, everybody " enjoyed themselves " and the occasion. Mr. 
Keith's friends amused themselves that his countenance, naturally 
very grave, should be so radiant with joyous expression ; and, sub 
rosd, I was myself at least half amused. But I must check my 
self; for, though I might whisper, if I had your ear, some more 
particulars, which might provoke a smile, I must not write them. 
But what was the surprise of the assembly, who were pleasing 
themselves amid the brilliant lights and flowers of the large draw- 
ing room, to hear the full burst of music. The band of the United 
States war steamer " Susquehanna " was kindly offered, and sta- 
tioned in the large upper passage. You may imagine how much 
music added to the charm of the place and hour. About nine 
o'clock we all went below, to partake of an elegant collation. 
"Would you not have liked to see it all, as the sign of the fresh bud- 
ding of heart joys, and the emblem of a bright and cheerful future ? 

The 29th we left for Ningpo. "We were absent about four 
weeks, and, about the middle of June, commenced housekeeping 
in our own home. 

Of late I have spent considerable time in going out among the 
women of the neighborhood, and the hamlets near. But, except 
that I feel that it is the right and good thing to do, I should feel 
little satisfaction in it. The poor are always busy ; or, if not, 
quite worthless as a general rule ; and, when they have satisfied 
their curiosity with looking at foreign dress, and listening to a few 
words of Jesus and the God who made them, they go their way, 
desiring nothing better than to burn incense and to pay offering to 
the merciful lady (the goddess Kwa-Yung), and to bow at the 
shrine of their ancestors. And here I may notice, by the way, 
our acceptance of the common idea, that the Chinese are so rev- 
erent to parents. In fact, the Chinese parent has less influence 
over his children than the Western parents have ; for they have 
not the same Christianized conscience and sensibilities to address 
themselves to, but the laws give more power. In fact, children 
may be, and are, as disrespectful as you have ever seen those at 
home. Still, custom gives the old paternal grandmother, as well 
as the father, great place and control, and it would be a disgrace 



MISSIONARY LIFE, 229 

not to burn plenty of incense before the tablet, and not to place 
there the daily offering of rice. The most undutiful children are 
as often punctilious about the rites after death, as the most dutiful 
could be. "While the rules for the care of relations, especially 
poor ones, as inculcated in the books, are very kind and good, the 
fact is (and what else would you expect, unaided as their nature 
is by gospel motives and sanctions and influences ?) that they are 
left to neglect and suffering here, as well as in "Western countries, 
and probably to a far greater extent. Rules do doubtless mould 
the external — the manner ; but only true religion can train the 
heart. 

All this, "by the way," has led me into a wide field of dis- 
course, of which you can have enough from others, and from 
books ; and I will return to my own story, and talk of myself, as 
there is no one else to do that. 

You see me then, a married woman, and in China ; a wife and 
still a missionary ; still turning, as ever, the most affectionate and 
loving thoughts toward some in my native land, and kind memories 
to many ; but not so lone as once. The yearning for affection, 
which every human heart knows (may I not say just in proportion 
as it has been bereaved ?), is satisfied in the devotion and ever-ready 
sympathy of one, who is ever near to care for and aid me. I anti- 
cipate the question, my own dear, true friend, you would ask — 
you who have ever been a faithful, yet tender searcher of my 
spirit — and I answer, Yes. I answer, that marriage has proved 
to me far more full of blessing than I had imagined. Probably my 
views of it had insensibly become changed and sobered somewhat 
since you knew me, years ago, though it would be impossible for 
me to define as to the nature or extent of that change. But I 
must tell you more particularly of Mr. Keith. He is younger than 
myself, is grave in mind and manner, even in spirits and disposi- 
tion. He would be, everywhere and at any time, a conservative 
by native temperament and mind. He loves study, and is more 
of a student than a preacher. He is what you would probably 
call a high churchman ; he goes for that among the rest of the 
mission, who are generally lower. (I use current phrases, though 
I dislike them, but they are convenient to represent my meaning.) 
I am looser in my views, and my nature and early habits will 
probably prevent my holding just such views as one trained from 
childhood in another way would have. The difference between 
us could not be put into words, because I am convinced you wish 
to see him to whom I have promised so much. "Will it seem like 
vanity or self-praise, if I say he is generous to a fault, yet careful 
and provident, exceedingly conscientious, and (if ever it could be 
said of a mortal) without a particle of vanity, yet not insensible to 



230 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

what is due to self-respect ? Another trait is almost a defect, yet 
to one who knows and loves him, can scarcely be thus looked 
upon : I refer to a sensitive, shrinking nature, which would avoid 
contact with the world, and, when wounded, if not too severely, 
retires into itself. From this you will also infer that Mr. Keith is 
one who loves home, as the sweetest refuge in the world ; and I 
may add, that he is the gentlest and tenderest of husbands. Not 
that he has not a will and way of his own (as the word " gentle " 
might seem to contradict that idea), but that, in any hour of pain, 
mental or bodily, the sympathy and love is so quick, so gentle, so 
tender. I love him very much, but he exceedeth. 

Now, dear friend, this letter, as you will suppose, is not for 
any and every eye, though I leave it entirely to your discretion. 
I have alluded, too, to my work, because I know that you would 
like to hear that I am still a missionary in fact. I have never 
wished to return to America to remain, though, in some hours of 
trial, I have had ideas, and even plans, of leaving this particular 
field. But I have ever accounted it as among the very greatest 
of honors and privileges to be called to go forth to labor among 
the heathen. And I trust it is a frequent subject of devout thank- 
fulness to me, that I am spared with so good a measure of health 
still to labor here. I have had the hundredfold in this life already 
given ; and, through the grace of God, I hope not to fail of what 
is better than all this world can give, even life eternal. 

Mr. Keith has been engaged for more than a year past (not 
his whole labor) in a translation of the book of Genesis into the 
colloquial of this dialect, and expects to see it in print in a week 
or two. And he is much interested now in the experiment of 
putting the sounds of this dialect into Roman letters for trial into 
our schools. The experiment has been tried at some other ports 
(for other dialects) with much success. Children and ignorant 
persons, and those who have not much time to give to study, can, 
in this, soon and easily learn to read words, which are such as 
they daily hear ; while it would be out of the question for them 
to attempt to learn to read by the Chinese character, or in the 
high-style books. Fancy a poor child in America getting his 
knowledge either through Latin (the high style), or by a set of 
stenographic characters to the number of five thousand. 

I also have my plans as to some simple books for our schools ; 
and, should life and strength be spared in China even for five 
years more (five years are nearly complete since I left America), 
we may each and both hope to accomplish threefold more than in 
the preceding years of our life here. It is pleasant to have one's 
hands full of labor, and to see this field opening wider before us, 



MISSIONARY LITE. 231 

especially if there is a tolerable measure of strength to meet the 
demands of the ease. * * * 

But why place one's hopes and anxieties on any future in this 
world ? " Our Father's house," our home, is not far off, and is far 
better. I wonder with you that we are all no more anxious to be 
there ; that we are so apt to be pleased, or even satisfied, with 
earthly joys. 

* * * I trust that the bonds that unite us may never be 
broken; and I believe that, in thought and memory, we often 
meet. Adieu, my very dear friend ; believe me, in the warm 
affection of the far-away one, your old friend, with a new name (in 
part), Caroline P. Keith. 



CHAPTER IV. 

1855—1856. 

Quiet Restored in Shanghai— Letter of Consolation to a Bereaved Friend — Sickness 
— Housekeeping Trials — Visit to the Interior — Report of her Girls' School for 1855 
—Report to the Bishop of her Boys' School for 1855— Earnest Plea for China — An 
Experience of 1848 Recited— Failing Health of Mr. and Mrs. Keith— Defects of 
Unitarianism— Christ our Redemption, Justification, Sanctification— " Unspiritual 
Cares "—Embarkation for America. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Jan. 20, 1855. 

* * * Mr. Keith is like an argus in watching me, and the 
alternative is often thus : to give up something I want so much to 
do, and to which my spirit prompts me, or else distress my dearest 
friend by persisting. I believe I give up with a good grace, 
telling him, laughingly, of the fine times I had when " koo 
neang " (the term here for unmarried women) ; I could then 
work myself to death, and nobody cared. 

I must add, that, when the newspapers come, I take leave of 
Mr. Keith for two or three days, counting time pretty nearly as 
good as lost till he has discussed the news in all his leisure hours 
(for he doesn't take study time). I have read with great interest 
Sumner's speeches. Sorry I have not yet had time to examine the 
Tribune, except the proceedings of the American Board, and am 
well pleased at their movement. Truly, I should have felt the 
burning blush of deepest shame for a great Missionary Board, 
largely of Northern men, who should so have disgraced missionary 



232 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

and Christian principle, as to have done what the craven minority 
desired. May God have mercy on our country, and direct the 
storm, which is so darkly lowering ! It is so strange to me that 
Christian men can uphold slavery and defend it ! Passing, passing 
strange it is ! To make the best of an existing evil, is one thing ; 
to defend and seek to extend it, is another. 



TO UNCLE, AUNT, AND COUSINS (DANVERS). 

Shanghai, Feh. 23, 1855. 

My dear Friends : As these are my (Chinese) New- Year 
holidays, as usual I take my pen, and away to Danvers, and jog 
all your elbows — ask you how you do — when you heard last from 
Caroline — and when you wrote last. I am sure not a day passes 
in which there is not some thought of you — nay, oftener ; my 
thoughts are many. * * * 

You will see, by the papers, that the rebels evacuated the city 
of Shanghai, and that the imperialists have possession of it. The 
city was reduced to a fearful state of scarcity, and many must have 
perished from starvation had the city been held a week longer. 
The rebels fought their way to the west and south, and some hid 
themselves in the city in caves and coffins. Numbers of these 
have been captured and beheaded — nearly a thousand. Some of 
them were tortured fearfully. The city was fired during the night 
of the evacuation, and half the city (the best portion) was con- 
sumed. An equal devastation of the suburbs had taken place a 
year since. While we were in a state of excitement and anxiety 
concerning the city, a report arose that the Canton Chinese here 
were forming some plot, and it was the general impression among 
the native Chinese that the plan was against foreigners. Circum- 
stances gave probability to the report : guards from the ships of 
war were sent to different parts of the settlements. Among the 
missionaries, two and two, in three watches to a night, were 
appointed to assist in watching. We lay down to sleep in uncer- 
tainty to ourselves, and with the idea of starving people in our 
minds. At length discoveries were made which threw light on 
the plan, and seemed calculated to crush it. Then the city was 
opened, and the guard withdrawn, and we could feel that peace 
had come. * * * 

Mr. Keith watches over me, and restrains me, and moderates 
me ; else I believe I should have been on my way to America 
now. It is slow getting up hill, and requires patience and mod- 
eration. You know, I am not remarkably gifted in those excel- 
lent qualifications. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 233 

TO MISS PLT7MER. 

Shanghai, China, Monday, March 13, 1855. 

My dear Maby : How shall I express the sorrow I feel for you, 
which your mournful letter of November 13th, this day received, 
has renewed and deepened ? Oh, could I only be near you ! I 
could weep with you ; but that I do here, only in this far-off place 
I cannot listen to your sorrows, only as they come over wide oceans. 
" O God ! comfort her as Thou alone canst comfort," is the hourly 
prayer of my heart. Yet I feel as though words cannot tell you 
how deep and tender is my sympathy with you, and with your dear 
mother, too, bereft after so long and so happy a union. If I could 
only throw my arms around you, and press you to my heart, that 
silent embrace should tell you more than many words. As to what 
your letter tells me of mental anguish, fearful as it indeed is, I feel 
that I know and have tasted of equal bitterness. You speak to 
an initiated one. The causes may differ, but the bitterness I have 
known ; the memory of it is even now fearful. The night wak- 
ings, how wild they are ! the waking in the bright morning, how 
the heart turns to stone, as the consciousness returns ! the long 
day, as if waiting for some one — the fearful blank — the dark 
future — oh ! I know it all, and therefore my heart aches for you, 
as I cannot describe. It is folly to come to you in words that 
would make less of your loss or less of your suffering; nay, it 
would be cruelty. A shadow has fallen on earth's brightness, that 
can never pass away, though your present keen suffering may and 
will be softened by the sure hand of time. It is one of the great- 
est mercies of God's providence, that time will soothe, will soften 
the sorrow it cannot remove. 

My father was not to me what yours was to you ; for long 
sickness had made him sad, and young children do not love sad- 
ness ; and misfortune had made him seem stern, and the young 
are afraid of sternness. But yet, how I missed him as the M mine 
of knowledge ! " how I missed his experience to guide my inex- 
perience ! Yes, the year 1838, which took away both my par- 
ents, threw a shade over the world, which nothing could ever 
fully remove. I, too, though to many I seemed to be little 
depressed, felt life a burden, my loneliness insupportable ; and in 
later years, under different sorrows, wretch that I was, I wished 
I had never been born. Oh, how merciful is God, that He 
did not take me at my word, and give me the death I so wished 
for ! And if there is one horror of deeper darkness, more fearful, 
than another, it is when the human soul strives thus in contro- 
versy with its Maker. Then we are orphaned indeed, and the 
whole universe is a desolation to us. But when God gives us 



234 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

strength to say, " The cup that my Father giveth me, shall I not 
drink it ? " oh, then we do find a rest for the weary spirit ! 
* * * I said that " a shadow falls upon earth's brightness, 
which can never be wholly removed." And thus our Heavenly 
Father, infinite in wisdom and love, saw fit that it should be. He 
must, in some way, deprive earth of its early brightness, else we 
could not feel that heaven were brighter. Sometimes, gently and 
by degrees, He makes us feel that " all is vanity," and sometimes, 
by a few heavy sorrows, he turns our cup to bitterness. But oh ! 
my precious friend, He does it in love. 

You say : "I cannot bring my father back by praying ; and 
what, then, shall I pray for ? " Oh ! pray night and day that you 
may receive and improve the affliction as a better Parent, even 
your Heavenly Father, would have you. Pray for this ; cease 
not till you gain the grace you need for this, your day of deep 
distress. This I have asked for you often, since I heard of your 
sorrow ; and shall hereafter ask more earnestly, now that I know 
more of your state of mind. I hope I do not seem to speak as 
Job's comforters. I know that you feel as the patriarch did, 
V Was any sorrow like mine ? " " Oh ! that I might find God ; 
then would I order my cause before Him." I would come to you 
rather with the comment of St. James : " Behold, we count them 
happy which endure " (wonderful comment !), " and have seen the 
end of the Lord, that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender 
mercy." Oh ! strive to trust Him. In your deepest agony, say, 
" Lord, I believe ; help Thou mine unbelief ! " 

But, dear Mary, suffer me also to try to believe with respect 
to yourself. Have you not often coveted to be useful in the 
world — eminently so ; and have you not observed that those who 
were called, in the providence of God, thus especially to serve 
Him, have been disciplined and purified as if by fire — yea, often 
by the furnace seven times heated ? In the circle of my acquaint- 
ance there is no one so fitted by natural gifts, by acquired ones, 
by a cultivated mind and a benevolent heart, by a large and 
admiring circle of friends, by position in society — by all these and 
more — I know no one so fitted as you are (presumptively) for 
uncommon usefulness. And may it not be that, by this dispensa- 
tion, God will lead you nearer to Him — to a nearer knowledge of 
Himself, and a simpler, heartier desire to obey Him in all things ? 
Do not understand me as interpreting thus early God's providence 
in this (for I think people often speak presumptuously on this 
point, even when they mean well) ; but I only suggest that it may 
be the very means of your best good, rather than, as your fainting 
spirit now feels it to be, of your ruin in happiness, as also in men- 
tal power. True, it is a fiery trial ; but is it not by fire only that 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 235 

dross can be consumed, and the gold tried ? True, the affliction 
is grievous — oh, how bitterly grievous ! — but doth not such work 
out a far more exceeding weight of glory ? Yea, those who have 
received, and used, and been exercised by them as a wise God and 
Father intended, shall one day say, "It is good for me that I 
have been afflicted ; " yea, " in faithfulness hast Thou afflicted 
me." 

But I will not now dwell longer on the mournful theme. Be- 
lieve in my deepest sympathy, I beg (I know you do), and accept 
my feeble words of consolation ; and do not deem me unfeeling if 
I still offer words designed to comfort. Sorrow you must, but 
comfort there is for the sorrowing. The Bible is full of it. I 
never understood half its richness till I was made poor and sor- 
rowing. You will discover a new nearness in the Bible as a 
precious comforter. God only can heal. May He be very gra- 
cious to you, and to the other sorrowing ones ! Mr. Keith, 
through his interest in you for my sake, and for what he knows 
of you through me, feels deeply for you ; and you have, and you 
shall have the prayers of us both. He says he " feels like writing 
to you, yet shrinks from intruding a stranger's sympathy upon 
griefs so deep and sacred." We have talked of you and your 
home a great deal this year ; indeed, I never thought of you more, 
and talked of you so much, as since I have been married ; for 
formerly I had no one to talk to a great deal ; and the more I 
speak of you, of course, the oftener I think of you. * * * 

I can agree, dear Mary, in all you say of your father, that he 
was thoroughly good and lovely in all the relations of life ; and, 
while I know how much reason you had to be fond of him, I can 
imagine that his sweet and gentle disposition and his home virtues, 
his indulgent tenderness, must have attached his family and his 
children to him in no common tie of reverence and affection. 
And nothing in life is more beautiful (nothing but youth equally 
so) than to see a ripe, mild, wise, loving, cheerful (youthful if I 
may also say) decline of life. Youthful ardor is chastened ; its 
severities softened ; its crudities gone, and, calm and wise and 
good, how safe, how profitable, how delightful to be brought or to 
live in near relation and communion with such an one ! Besides, 
every year made you more capable of understanding what you 
admired, and time increased the attractiveness of every virtue. 
How fearfully and wonderfully indeed are we made ! How 
closely can human hearts be bound up together ; and, as you say, 
how strange it is we can live when the heart is so torn and bleed- 
ing ! 

And now I must say farewell. May God give you so largely 
of His grace and strength that you may be able to say, as the 



236 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

Shunamite woman did, even when her only son lay dead, " It is 
well ! " I feel that I have said but very imperfectly what love and 
tender sympathy and a desire to strengthen and soothe dictated. 
Accept it as a poor token of the deep love and sympathy of your 
faithful Carrie. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

Shanghai, April 17, 1856. 

* * * I must teach school to-day, and I must eat dinner 
(for I am a poor creature without substantial food), and I must 
write a (business) letter to Canton, and I will write to you ; and 
it is necessary to get through all by 3 P. M., and now it is nearly 
9 A. m. * * * So I have comfortable and wholesome food, 
and Mr. K. is satisfied (and, fortunately, he is very easily satis* 
fied), I had rather give as much time and strength as may be to 
something more enduring than eatables. Mr. K. often laughs at 
me, saying it is ridiculous that one so utterly prostrated as I am 
without good food should think so little of the art of preparing it. 

I like to keep school better than domestic cares. I am very 
fortunate in having circumstances favor my tastes and habits. I 
sew less and less, and like it less and less, and any real sewing 
work tires me. So I take advantage of the tailors (as everybody 
does here), and the time thus saved I give to Chinese affairs. 
****** 

Yet, after all, were I to lead the ordinary (housewife) life of 
most wives, I doubt not I should be free from dyspepsia, and 
never think of anything but that I was as well as possible. The 
work I do in connection with the school is by no means a small 
tax on any woman's strength and constitution. And then, consid- 
ering that year after year of hard work — there is only a vacation 
of two weeks in summer and three in winter, and no change, no 
going a trip some sixty or a hundred miles — it is no wonder that 
one runs down ; the only wonder is that they don't run down 
sooner. Mine is an excellent constitution. 

TO THE SAME. 

Shanghai, June 28, 1855. 

My dear Sister Lizzie : I yesterday feared that to-day's 
mail must leave without bearing a line to Northfield ; but, thanks 
to restoring mercy, I am to-day much stronger, and hope I am 
fairly mending. For nearly three weeks I have been an invalid, 
and confined to my room. * * * 

I am much relieved, and apparently gaining in every respect, 
only I feel so weak ! It has been the most painful sickness of my 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 237 

life ; for I have been much favored in freedom from sharp sick- 
nesses. Indeed, it is the longest illness, except one in the year 
1839. Everybody seemed astonished that Mrs. K. was sick in 
bed. The thing was scarcely to be credited, for it had not been 
heard of before in four years ; and then no one knew I was sick 
but our own mission and our dear friend, Mrs. Holson. I have 
indeed been greatly favored. 

In your letter you express the hope that I continue as " hap- 
py " as ever. I believe I have not allowed myself (to any one) 
to speak very warmly of my happiness as a wife. Some of my 
correspondents rally me upon my silence, intimating that, from 
my letters, they could not discover that any change had passed 
upon me. You can comfort my brother that I am getting more 
reserved. However, I shall confess this much, that I find Mr. 
K. in fault sometimes. You can judge how much my happiness 
is disturbed by such a cause, when I tell you that the fault is 
excessive care of me, and tenderness to all that concerns me. If 
you do not think me too frank in revealing the distresses of mar- 
ried life, I will add, that every day shows me more and more of 
his real worth, purity, and integrity, of character. But you will 
laugh at me, and I'll stop. His delicate health is often a source 
of deep anxiety to me. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, July 3, 1855. 

* * * Thanks to a merciful Providence, that has pre- 
vented me when I should have wrought only ruin and wretched- 
ness for myself had my plans and wishes not been disappointed, 
there has been provided for me, at a day when I most needed 
(and perhaps had been by wholesome discipline prepared for) the 
gift, a friend whom my peculiarities do not annoy, nor my faults 
estrange ; who is as kind and loving as my dreams of early 
romance ever pictured, and, withal, one who, from a naturally 
considerate disposition, gives me those attentions as a wife, with- 
out which I could never have been satisfied, because to me they 
are the exponents of lively affection ! His considerateness is the 
quality I most value (I mean, of the every-day virtues, not allud- 
ing to principles) ; and the second year of married life deepens my 
satisfaction in the lot I have found. I could write a great deal 
more, but might weary you ; and I have written as above, be- 
cause I know you will have a thousand times more comfort .in the 
idea of adaptation and quiet, deep satisfaction and content of heart, 
than you would if I were to pen descriptions of the most fervent 
love merely. I am often disturbed and annoyed at things, and the 
gentleness and considerateness with which " Cleveland " puts my 



238 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

vapors to flight, is constantly increasing my love and admiration 
for him. I am not so even (and I was never preexcellent in that) 
as when I began life in China ; for I have had trials, whose name 
was legion, and I sometimes feel as though I could never get back 
again from the regions of vexed feeling ; therefore Cleveland's 
tenderness and gentleness is most needed and beneficial. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY, 

Shanghai, August, 1855. 

* * * The great event in the last week, to me, was the 

departure of the cook, who had been a very good one ; but, 

falling to smoking opium, he spent everything on that, and the 

money that I gave him to buy things with besides. He charged 

me almost double price for things, and was deeply in debt, too. 

So now I have a green hand, and my kitchen, you know, five 

rods off. Have I ever told you, that, to cook, to wash, and to do 

the sweeping, washing dishes, &c, requires three servants ? — and 

I have a woman come to take care of my room. For the last 

there are reasons I cannot fully explain ; but partly because 

sweeping and making a bed are tiresome, and I cannot do both 

hard manual and mental work. (I am about one third as strong as 

I was at twenty-one years of age, in New England.) So true is 

it that " missionaries have many servants ; " but they cannot help 

it. I stood out as long as I could, to my great discomfort. 
* * * * * * 

People say it is easier keeping house in China than at home. 
I only know that I do not think it easy here. But I don't love 
it, and that's the truth. Mr. Keith tells me I consider eating a 
necessary evil, and the preparation for it as so much lost time. 
But what I have, I try to have good. This is a homely and 
housekeeping letter — is it not ? 

This is a world of care and hard work ; and I do not know 
how to " shirk " care or labor. But I should feel it almost a 
paradise to be three months without one care, if I could at the 
same time think I was doing right. I feel as though ever on the 
strain to keep up with my work, and should like to lie down and 
rest. You did not speak of your own health, and I therefore hope 
you are well, and quite strong again. I have written you a very 
meagre and egotistic letter ; but, such as it is, accept it from your 
affectionate sister, C. P. Keith. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Sept. 6, 1855. 

My dear Brother : Yours, mailed June 5th, reached me two 
days since, and contains much of interest. I am much obliged to 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 239 

you for it. My letters of August, 1854, are an immense loss* to 
the world ! for I set myself to pay up every possible debt, and 
wrote for our August mail twelve letters. * * * 

A return to America is what we are both far from wishing. 
"We are both better qualified, in many respects, to labor to 
advantage for the next three or five years than we have been able 
to do the last. I am as thin as a caseknife, and Mr. Keith is 
thinner ; there you have our picture. The Committee have 
" ruled " a return, if desired, in seven years ; but nobody would 
desire it without good reason. I have a presentiment that 1858 
will see us in America. 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Taw Tsang Sa» or " Mountain of Doctrine," ) 
China, 140 miles 8. W. of Shanghai, Oct. 15, 1855. f 

My dearest Mary : "Would you like a missive from the 
interior of China ? — interior, comparatively, for it is not long that 
foreigners, and especially ladies, have ventured inland from the 
"five ports." But here we are, a party of four ladies, two gentle- 
men, and two children, many miles from Shanghai, and dwelling 
in quiet and apparent safety. And where do you think we are 
dwelling ? Even in an idolatrous temple — the seat of Buddhism. 
We occupy a large room of the second story, which is divided 
into three apartments, by numerous shawls and carpets. Not half 
a yard from my bedside, an idol looks down upon me ; and, in 
whichever direction we turn, our eyes encounter these images of 
wood and clay. 

Is it not strange to think of your friend thus situated ? To me 
the situation seems almost romantic — though very sad ; for how 
can we for a moment forget, when thus surrounded, the darkness 
and sin of those who bow down and worship here ! Ours is the 
highest of three temples built on the slope of the mountain ; and 
in the one just below us we hear the chanting of the priests three 
or four times in the twenty-four hours ; and people are coming 
there constantly to burn incense and pay offerings. This building 
seems to be the home, if I may so call it, of the priests, where they 
lodge and take their food. In one of the wings attached to this 
main building are four men, in as many separate rooms, who have 
voluntarily caused themselves to be shut in for three years' devo- 
tion. A small orifice is left, where their rice can be passed in to 
them, and they spend the day in solitary repeatings of prayers, 
with the most lowly prostrations. Sometimes they sit and repeat 

[* They were lost in the " Arctic," in the fearful catastrophe of September 
2*7, 1854, by which three hundred persons perished.] 



240 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

the service, and for hours we hear the rapid knockings of the little 
wooden hammer with which these prayers before the idol are 
most frequently accompanied. As I write, another service from the 
large lower temple meets my ear. It is the chanting of the priests, 
accompanied by the slow beating of a drum, to attract the atten- 
tion of the idol, and probably to assist the priests in keeping time. 
This is a mass for the dead ; and the particular one in celebration 
now lasts four days, and costs the devotees fourteen dollars ! To 
such scenes as these we come for renovated health, which most of 
us are sadly in want of ; but what we see has a depressing effect. 
Our health demands exhilaration of spirit and light heartedness, 
and entire change of thought and feeling. Yet, how can a con- 
scientious Christian be light hearted in sight of these heathen 
rites ? 

Tuesday, 16th. — This morning it has been raining, and it is 
still wet, so that I have taken my pen to sit down and chat with 
you, my dearest friend. I could wish for some magic power to 
bring you here to enjoy with me these scenes, that would be to 
you so strange and new. Yesterday, we were on the top of the 
mountain, in sight — so far as the mist (envious mist) would allow 
the sight— of the Ta-oo, or Great Lake of the eighteen provinces, or 
China proper. It is only . . . long and . . . wide ; but though so 
tiny as compared with our American lakes, it is the famous lake 
of China. It, however, has some mountain islands in it, and has 
storms quite formidable to the Chinese boats. It is embosomed in 
mountains, and it is upon one of the highest of these I am sitting. 
Just, as it were, at the foot of this mountain, is one terminus of 
the " great canal," so famous as one of the great works of China. 
I considered it as quite an event to have sailed upon it. The 
valleys amid these mountains are fertile, and, as usual, highly cul- 
tivated. Rice is still unreaped. Probably the next crop will be 
wheat, and the next cotton. It is the rice fields through this part 
of China, and especially in the valley of the Yangtsz Kiang, that 
makes it so unhealthy to foreigners, and even to the natives, who 
are far from vigorous, but pale and weakly-looking. There is not 
much of interest on this mountain, after the monastery is visited. 
At the top of the mountain stands a pagoda, and, by its side, a 
grand old tree (but now somewhat injured by lightning) said to be 
one thousand years old. It is called the " maiden's hair." The 
leaf is very pretty, I think, and I send you a leaf or two, as I 
know you love '* curios" A little child lived there, eight years 
old, in training for a priest. It was a melancholy sight to look at 
him, as, cut off, by his destiny to the Buddhist priesthood, from the 
common relations, hopes, and joys of life, his now animated coun- 
tenance will become dull and stolid, and he will, in all probability, 



MISSIONARY LITE. 241 

go to the grave in ignorance of his Maker and of his Redeemer. 
Truly we are enveloped in mystery. Whence this difference in 
our condition ? 

Low down the mountain we visited quite an extensive house, 
kept merely in honor of the dead. It contained many apartments 
and little courts, where were shrubs growing wild, and which 
might have been made very neat and attractive ; but all looked 
cold and neglected as the house of the dead. A large kitchen, 
and multitudes of chairs and tables in other rooms, showed that 
the design was for extensive periodical family gatherings, where 
there should be plenty of incense burnt in honor of the dead, plenty 
of eatables disposed of for the comfort of the living. The image 
of the great man, the high ancestor of the family, sits in state, 
adorned in the mandarin robes. It was in honor of this man- 
darin's great benevolence that the emperor allowed his family such 
an honor. One large room was surrounded with cases (somewhat 
like the bookcases of a large library) filled with thermometer- 
shaped tablets — the names, as I understood, of different members 
of this family in its numerous branches, who had died from time 
to time, and been honored with an inscription here. I cannot 
describe a Chinese house to you, the plan is so queer ; but I assure 
you there is some danger of getting lost in threading one's way 
around it. In some respects it is well planned for the women, 
who, in good families, live in very strict seclusion. Our houses in 
Christendom would give little opportunity for this, as now con- 
structed. Courts and flower nooks and artificial rocks and pools 
and rivulets are contrived for their amusement. 

Thursday, Oct. ISth. — Yesterday morning, in the midst of a 
drenching rain, we reembarked ; and after a dismal day in a close 
boat, and a night of pouring rain, we have the pleasure of sun- 
shine. But the wind, which was contrary to us in coming, is con- 
trary to us in returning, and we have to be towed along the 
" Grand Canal." Still, to be towed is something ; the motion is 
about as rapid, and much more pleasant than that caused by the 
oar of the boat. Perhaps you may not be aware that Chinese 
boats have but one oar f which is fixed and worked at the stern. 
We pass under many high substantial and truly elegant stone 
bridges, such as one does not see in America twice in a lifetime, 
and not often, I fancy, in the old countries of Europe. The arches 
are bold and graceful, and the bridges are really beautiful objects 
of the picturesque. 

TO REV. DR. LEWIS. 

Shanghai, Nov. 30, 1855. 

Dear Sir : To-day completes a year and a month since the 
opening of the " girls' day school " under my care, and in which 
11 



2^2 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

the members of your congregation have so kindly interested them- 
selves. Although I have, from time to time, given you account 
of its progress, you will like, perhaps, at this period, to have a 
more general view of its course. 

The school was opened October 31st [1854], with twelve 
pupils ; but in two weeks it numbered twenty, and many were 
refused admittance, as more than twenty would have made the 
school too large for one teacher. The first put into the hands of 
the pupils was a Primer, containing the Creed, the Ten Command- 
ments, the Lord's Prayer, and the translation of the " Duty to 
God," and the " Duty to our Neighbor " from the Church Cate- 
chism. This they were required to commit to memory thoroughly, 
and to learn all the characters contained therein. Next, the Gos- 
pel of St. Matthew was given them, and the Catechism on the 
Creed was studied every Saturday and Sabbath morning. Next 
this catechism, they took up the Catechism on the Ten Command- 
ments. Their mornings were devoted to study, the afternoons to 
plain sewing. Embroidery was taught to those who desired, and 
there are few Chinese girls who are not anxious to know some- 
thing of the latter, that they may ornament their little shoes. The 
teacher was a woman of uncommon intelligence of mind, and very 
skilful with her needle, and in cutting out and preparing all man- 
ner of work. She was quick to comprehend my ideas, and more 
ready to follow my wishes than I had expected. Male Chinese 
teachers are not willing to be guided by foreigners in their ways 
of teaching. Mine was the first missionary school here taught 
wholly by a woman. For six months, till the reopening of the 
city in April, the attendance at school was most satisfactory. The 
progress of the children was good, and their answers to general 
questions on what they had learned were very gratifying ; for, 
generally, such are compelled to work at home, and only the 
smaller ones allowed to attend schools. 

Up to this time (middle of April) the scholars, with some few 
exceptions, had gone as far as the twelfth or fourteenth chapter of 
St. Matthew, and three fourths of the Catechism on the Creed, 
besides the First Book, or Primer. It will be remembered that 
all this was committed verbatim, and the difficult characters well 
mastered by most of the pupils, as a means of reading, not memor- 
izing, future books. 

The opening of the city commenced a new stage in my little 
school. The population, which was crowded around us in every 
direction, began to scatter, and six or eight of my oldest and most 
promising scholars vanished. The most unsatisfactory thing is 
that, in a Chinese population, such vanishings cannot be traced, 
and are almost always final. There is no searching out the miss- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 243 

ing. One or two of these, however, I learned, found their way to 
other schools in the city, near their own dwellings ; but the rest I 
could never trace, except two sisters, who came back to me in the 
summer, and of whom I shall have occasion to speak again. 

The school was not a very long time in refilling, though with 
scholars younger in years, and perhaps less intelligent and interest- 
ing in mind. Some few of my remaining older pupils gradually 
dropped off, one being married, and others, being betrothed, went 
to learn the useful arts of spinning and weaving under their moth- 
ers-in-law. The average attendance was very good, however, till 
July, when sickness began its work. The children were sick, or 
their relatives at home were ill. Then the teacher herself had a 
severe fever, and the school was entirely scattered for two weeks, 
and for two weeks more was in charge of an inefficient substitute. 
The attendance was seldom more than seventeen, and sometimes 
a low as eleven : perhaps the average was fourteen pupils. With 
the autumn months, the sickness of the whole region increased ; 
and when, at last, the scholars were once more all gathered, the 
teacher was but half herself, so little was there of her usual energy 
and spirit. 

I, too, had been kept from my usual visits to the school by my 
own and others' sickness, from the early part of June even to Sep- 
tember, with some two or three weeks' exception in July and 
August. "With such adverse circumstances to contend against, it 
will be perceived that the school's summer life, like ours, was very 
feeble. At last, however, I may report the school as full in num- 
bers, and once more in health and vigor and apparent progress. Of 
the pupils who commenced study a year since, eight remain — four 
date from last spring ; the remainder are of still later entrance. 
Three pupils have finished St. Matthew, and five more will do so 
during the coming month. All these are, of course, familiar with 
the Catechism on the Creed, and have advanced nearly, if not 
quite, halfway through that on the Ten Commandments. 

The two sisters I had the pleasure of welcoming back are 
those I spoke of last March as having left for a distant place, and 
of the older, A. Sin, before her departure, as having begged of the 
teacher the Gospel and Catechism, that she " might not forget." 
She, with her sister, came to board near the school, in the teach- 
er's family, though her mother had returned to the city and was 
living there. It was very gratifying to find how well she retained 
what she had learned. But these sisters were taken with fever, 
and went into the city to their mother. After some weeks, as 
they did not return, with difficulty I sought them out, and was 
well repaid for the trouble by inducing them to go to the school 
near " Christ Church," in the city, under Miss Conover's care. 



244 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

The mother said that twenty " cash " a day (about one and a half 
cents) did not pay for their " rice " (" rice is the general term 
for food), and that she needed them to go on errands for her, and 
to assist her in various ways, morning and evening. She seemed 
well pleased when I told her that, though I would be glad to have 
the little girls with me, they could go to school in the city, and 
my heart would be equally at rest. So A. Sin goes to the school 
by the church, and her younger sister will attend, doubtless, when 
she gets strong, for she had been ill, and was still very pale. (I 
learn just now that the younger one already attends.) They are 
bright children, and the older is a girl of uncommon quickness of 
mind and of much character for one of her age and circumstances. 
I cannot but hope she may learn to her soul's endless profit. 

An interesting little blind girl was in attendance from (about) 
May 1st to September. I spied her, one day, by the roadside, 
and led her to school. She did not learn so rapidly as a seeing 
child, but was not dull, though, of course, her mind had not been 
exercised half as much as that of children who can observe the 
world around them. Sickness, as I have said, kept me much from 
the school, and the scholars lacked the oral instruction and the 
questioning I had been accustomed to use for their benefit. This 
I the more painfully regretted, when I found this child was soon to 
go far away. The mother begged me to adopt her, but there 
were insurmountable obstacles to my doing so. The little girl 
earnestly wished it, for the notice I had taken of her had been as 
a sunbeam on her darkened life. I tried, my last interview with 
her, to impress on her memory and heart some of the most simple 
truths she had learned. I shall never forget her sad face as she 
listened to me ; and as she said the Chinese " good-by," I mourned 
that she was going into deeper heathenism* — that, perhaps, no 
other sound of the truth would ever reach her. I could only com- 
mend her to that Father whose M tender mercies are over all His 
works." 

But to return from these digressions. What has been the 
work of the school for the year past ? From the above account 
you can form your own judgment. I trust the children have, 
most of them, learned something of the most fundamental truths of 
our religion ; that they are no longer in utter heathen darkness. 
"We know that the word of Divine truth is as good seed, and, if 
the ground has been faithfully cultivated, according to the laborer's 
ability, we may hope for a harvest, perhaps twenty or thirty or 
sixty or a hundredfold. The sunshine and the rain, the dew and 
the gentle shower of the Divine grace, must come from the " Lord 
of the harvest." 

Humanly speaking, the great difficulty and discouragement in 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 245 

carrying on day schools is the almost impossibility of gaining 
influence over the children's minds, over their ways of thinking 
and reasoning. The Chinese are so alien from us, so very different 
in their modes of living and acting and judging, that they elude 
us. There is no contact of mind, and but little of feeling. 

It was my hope, in the early period of the school, to gain an 
acquaintance with the homes of the children. But I have hitherto 
found this impracticable, though I have faithfully made the effort 
according to the best of my power. The parents are so shy ; they 
cannot understand or believe in our motives ; and, though they 
are often glad of an opportunity to indulge their curioshy, they do 
not like to have foreigners come often to see them.* Still, we 
must hope that a leaven is at work, and that, from these humble 
day schools among the poor Chinese, an influence will go forth for 
good, to enlighten and bless, though our eyes shall not be priv- 
ileged to behold its results. 

Though my letter is already very long, I would like to add a 
word more as to other day schools in Shanghai. Mine was the 
third girls' day school, and the first (under the care of foreigners) 
ever taught by a female teacher. Now there are at least twelve 
girls' schools in operation, and several of them (four in my knowl- 
edge, and all in our own mission) employ female teachers. This, 
I think, is an advance. To bring out women as useful teachers, 
will raise the value of education for girls, in the minds of the poor 
and ignorant. They will see, at least, that it gives a facility in 
obtaining a livelihood in a respectable manner, and so nothing will 
be lost, while many advantages will be gained. 

I had intended to say a few words as to my plans for the 
school the coming winter, but must defer doing so to some other 
opportunity. 

In closing, I cannot forbear to express the hope that the inter- 
est which has hitherto been felt in this school, among your congre- 
gation, may be continued, and that it may still be deemed a 
deserving object of charity. Especially would T ask that those 
who give of their means for its support, will not fail to add their 
constant prayers that the " Lord of the vineyard " may add His 

* In illustration of this shyness, I may relate an incident which came to 
my knowledge since penning the above page. A missionary lady asked a 
little girl, whom she overtook on the roadside, near her own residence, 
" where her mother lived, and if it would not be good to go and see her." 
The child burst into tears, and cried very much. The lady inquired why she 
was crying, adding : " Surely you are not afraid of me." " Oh, no ! " said the 
little girl ; " I am not afraid of you ; but if I lead you to my mother's house, 
I know she will whip me." 



246 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

blessing to this humble effort ; that these children, by His grace, 
may learn to love and to serve Him ; and that in their turn they 
may be useful to others, who shall hereafter hear from them con- 
cerning the true God and the only Savior. With Christian 
regard, yours very truly, Caroline P. Keith. 

TO ISABEL CAROLINE TENNEY. 

(KLETEN TEARS OLD.) 

Shanghai, January, 1856. 

My dearly loved Niece : Your little letter of October 6th 
was received the 9th inst., and read with much pleasure. It was 
quite a long letter for a little girl, and is written more neatly than 
any previous one. I hope you will take great pains, for the next 
five years, to form a handsome style of chirography, because it will 
be difficult, if not impossible, to do so after that period. I scarcely 
ever write a letter without regretting that I did not try to write 
better when I was small. I excused myself because the employ- 
ment was disagreeable to me. I preferred study. But that was 
no good excuse. 

You do not mention Latin now ; I suppose you have suspend- 
ed the study, for the piano. You never tell me what you can 
sew ; do not forget to do so next time. I hope your father will 
not forget to tell me how tall you were New Year. 

* * * You see I am very inquisitive. I wonder you have 
not any chickens ! I used to take great delight in four young 
hens my mother once gave me ; but their chickens were degen- 
erate, and did not take the place of the old ones in my affections. 
Perhaps your father can amuse you by telling you of my white 
hen, my speckled hen, and two yellowish young ones, and their 
flying on my shoulder and eating out of my hand. I delighted in 
cows, too, and the horse ; but I never cared much for cats, and 
did not like a dog, and would not have been hired to keep a bird. 
So, you see, my tastes were not very fashionable, and, I must say, 
not very elegant, in those respects. I had scarcely any playmates ; 
none that I liked. I hope you are more happy in this respect 
than I was. 

You ask me if I like to teach school. I do not like the thing 
itself. It is laborious, and trying to the patience ; but it is an 
important means of usefulness, and I could not be happy if I was 
not employed for a useful end. Nor, least of all, should I like to 
teach " such a school," as you say, if I did not love the Master, 
who calls me to the work, and if I did not think that these poor, 
wicked, ignorant, degraded creatures might thus, with God's bless- 
ing, be saved from ruin, and be prepared to do good to their coun* 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 247 

trymen. But with such motives to sustain me, I am happier in 
the work than though I was teaching cultivated young ladies the 
highest branches of study, in which my taste would delight. 

If you could sit down by my side, I should have a great deal 
to tell of my various scholars ; but it takes a long while to write 
even a short story. It is vacation now, and I am taking a rest ; 
but I have an aged visitor of seventy with me now, the teacher 
of one of my schools, who, I hope, has become a sincere learner in 
the school of our Savior Christ. She is very curious in examin- 
ing all foreign things, and, having looked at your picture, is now 
examining your last letter to me, and says, " What a pity I can- 
not read it ! " I will try to give the sounds of her words : " Kau- 
sih ! ngoo feh suk ! " 

Now I have written a long letter, and must break off here to 
entertain my aged friend. Write very often to your ever affec- 
tionate and solicitous Aunt Caroline. 



Shanghai, Jan. 29, 1856. 

Dear Bishop : According to your request that I would make 
some statement of the condition and progress of the boys under my 
tuition, and especially for the year past, I have prepared the fol- 
lowing sketch : The number of my pupils at present is twenty, 
one having died during the past year, and one never having 
returned after the summer visit to his home. The smaller pupils, 
received from Miss W ray's class at her departure, were, with three 
exceptions, not previously under my instruction. They now num- 
ber seven — Ah-San, one of the most promising, being taken away 
last summer by death after a long illness at his own home. Their 
studies are simple and few. They read, spell, define the words in 
Chinese, commit a verse a day in the Gospel of St. Matthew, and 
give some time to simple mental arithmetic, with writing in copy 
books. The coming year they will be able to add to these with 
advantage, some simple geography and exercises in ciphering. 
Their ages range from eleven to fourteen years. 

My other class, now the eldest and most advanced in school, 
numbers thirteen. Their ages range from twelve to sixteen, two 
being the former and two the latter age ; but it should be remem- 
bered, that from the manner in which the Chinese reckon age, this 
estimate makes them older than they really are, sometimes by a 
whole year. These boys, with three exceptions, have been exclu- 
sively and continually under my tuition in English, since March, 
1852. In that time the main work has been to teach them to 
read and spell correctly, taking them, in the mean time, through 
Parley's Geography, and a large portion of Emerson's Arith- 



248 MEMOIR OF MES. KEITH. 

metic, Second Part, and having them memorize daily some portion 
of St. Matthew's Gospel till it was finished. 

The labor of teaching Chinese children to enunciate English 
words correctly, and to read well, is very great : it is impossible 
to understand how great and difficult, without having made the 
attempt in a school of boys, many of whom, of course, are only 
ordinary in talent. 

That Chinese boys, generally, seem to progress very slowly in 
acquiring English, is owing to several causes. They are at a 
giddy age when they enter school, and they have nothing of the 
aid of parental encouragement or the influence of any " public 
opinion " upon them to stimulate them. If they feel ambition, it 
is to be good Chinese scholars. Besides this, many English 
sounds are very foreign to their native tongue ; moreover, it is im- 
possible to read well what is yet imperfectly understood. And 
probably not the least difficulty is, that the Chinese have no exer- 
cise at all equivalent to what we term reading. Their classics are 
sung ; so are their lighter works. The colloquial tone in reading 
any book they never use. The whole force of habit, as acquired 
in Chinese study, is in conflict with what is desirable to produce 
in the study and use of English. I dwell upon these points, 
because the difficulty should be borne in mind, when the term of 
teaching is mentioned in connection with what has been acquired. 

This class of boys, during the last year, has given some time 
to geography, and had an occasional lesson in the simplest facts of 
astronomy. Besides these, they have had regular lessons in writ- 
ing, reading, spelling, and defining, the reading books used being 
" Cobb's Series." But most of their time and attention has been 
given to the study of the construction and idiom of the English 
language. They have been thoroughly " drilled " in English 
grammar, and the writing of " exercises " — the text book used 
being an excellent English work prepared by Allen and Cornwall. 
The pupils are required to correct, fill out, or parse these, as the 
case may require. They have gone very thoroughly half through 
syntax, and will quite finish the book in three months. They can 
parse simple sentences quite correctly, if they are not hurried, but 
are not yet so ready as to parse rapidly. "When the grammar 
and exercises are thoroughly worked up, the intention is to put 
into their hands the " Young Composer," compiled by the same 
authors as the grammar, and intended to carry the pupils on to a 
thorough knowledge of the construction of English sentences. It 
will also necessarily enrich their memories with a greatly enlarged 
vocabulary. 

The progress of this elder class in English, for the past year, 
has not equalled my hopes. But as we know that the study of 



MI6SI0NAEY LIFE. 249 

grammar, even in their own tongues, is found difficult and unin- 
viting to most children, it is not surprising that the acquisition of 
a strange tongue, so unlike their own, should be a slow work to 
Chinese boys ; the more slow and difficult because the mind of a 
Chinese youth is trained, by every native influence, only to mem- 
orize, not to reflect, reason, or compare. 

Their progress, also, has been much retarded the past year by 
my own repeated illness and absence from school, in all nearly, if 
not quite, three months, when, of course, their English studies 
were suspended. For the last three months some attention, not 
exceeding half an hour daily, has been given to the acquirement 
of the system of Romanized (colloquial) Chinese. The pupils now 
read Chinese in this mode quite readily, and can write it without 
difficulty. 

The reason for teaching this system to boys who are in course 
of thorough education in reading and writing their own characters, 
was, principally, to prepare a readier instrument for their use in 
writing compositions and different school exercises. It was hoped, 
also, to derive from it additional help in training their minds, and 
increased facilities in their efforts to acquire English. 

The greatest difficulty in the education of our pupils here has 
ever been to bring them to use their minds — to think, reason, or 
compare, and especially to do anything of this in writing. To 
memorize was no task ; but to apply the mind quietly in a course 
of thought, seemed an utter impossibility to them. And over and 
above the innate difficulty and inertness of mind, there has been 
ever an absence of a written character simple enough for children 
to use. 

"Were they required to take some simple subject, such as the 
description of any animal, or the story of a day's holiday, and told 
to give their thoughts in their own native words in writing, they 
could not, at any age less than sixteen or even eighteen, I am 
sure, command with any tolerable readiness, characters enough to 
express their ideas. It is as if a child in America, who had 
learned a part of the alphabet, or could even spell a few words, 
were required to write the same things (in English). 

Or, if the pupils were desired to write the composition in 
English — of which they knew every letter perfectly, and could, 
perhaps, read long and difficult words, and speak not a few sen- 
tences very well — they would be again at a loss to find the proper 
expression for what they had to say. Their vocabulary would 
fail, and so would any intelligible command of the idiom. 

Their difficulties in this case may be compared to those of a 
schoolboy at home, who should be required to learn to compose 
11* 



250 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

and arrange his thoughts in Latin, and that, too, without a dic- 
tionary ! 

But the Romanized " colloquial " gives these boys the com- 
mand both of written characters and words ; for even the youngest 
pupils soon master the English letters, and, by their use in this 
system, they can soon write down any words or ideas that occur 
to them in their native tongue, and clothed with the freshness of 
Chinese idiom and manner of thinking. In this way composition 
becomes an exercise of no more difficulty than to a child at home. 
On the other hand, the translation of the efforts of their own minds 
into English, is quite as much an amusement to them as a labor, 
and the more lively interest in these exercises gives them a keener 
perception of the differences of idiom of the two languages. 

Such were the advantages expected from the use of the 
Romanized colloquial ; and if the experience of three months' 
partial use of it be of any value, I may add that my pupils have 
seemed to be more interested in the use of English by translation 
from the Romanized Primer, than I have ever previously known 
them in learning our words from our reading books. 

It seemed far more desirable to them to learn how they should 
say in English any given Chinese sentence, than to take any given 
sentence of English and find out how it should be expressed 
accurately in Chinese. 

As to the conduct of the boys, it is gratifying to say, that this 
class has, as a whole, been more diligent than in any previous 
year, and far more docile and well disposed. They are becoming 
inquiring and companionable in disposition, and I have much hope 
and encouragement for the coming year, that it may prove to them 
rich in mental improvement and progress. God grant that it may 
be rich in what is of unspeakably greater moment, even spiritual 
blessings to their immortal souls ! With Christian regard, 1 
remain yours, very truly, C. P. K. 

Rt. Rev. Bishop Boone, Shanghai, China. 

TO DANVERS RELATIVES. 

Shanghai, March 1, 1856. 

My dear Friends : I take a leisure hour, when I am not very 
well and can do nothing better, to sit down and give you a good 
scolding. It is so seldom I scold ! Never mind, I can scold fast 
enough when once started. "What are you all about, and when 
did I last have a letter from any of you ? My promise to write 
once in three months, whether I heard from you or not, has had 
the contrary effect from what such goodness (!) ought to have 
had. It has put you all to sleep ; and you say to yourselves : 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 251 

" Very nice ! " " Very well ! " " First rate ! " " It is all the same ! " 
" We shall hear from China, and of course there is nothing at all 
going on in America, concerning us, that our cousin would care to 
hear ! " " What a saving of trouble ! " " Now, it is no matter if 
we never write any more ! " " Besides, Charlotte Goodridge writes 
several times a year, and she will say we are well ; and that, of 
course, is all that is of any consequence ; so that nothing could be 
better than the present state of things ! " Well, if the preceding is 
the expression of your views, perhaps you would like to have a 
brief statement of mine, and then all will be clear. 

I am not so well pleased, considering my time and strength 
(to say nothing of pen, ink, and paper !), quite as valuable as yours, 
besides having as incessant claims on all that I have power to do 
and accomplish in the twenty-four hours, as there can be on any 
working people anywhere at home. A thousand things my pen 
would love to record to send home to interest people at home in 
this mission to the heathen, I have to leave unwritten for simple 
want of time ; and, worse still, sometimes, when I have time at 
command, for simple want of strength. But, as if writing a letter 
was so easy a thing for me and so difficult for some others, I 
must write one, two, three, four, five, six, nobody knows how 
many letters, and not even a line in return to say how good I 
am ! ! Who could have imagined such coolness ? Never mind, 
then ; I won't be so good — all for nothing ! — any longer. I'll 
take it back, I will — the promise to write ! — and I tell you what 
I will do. I will answer every letter I get from you, and that 
promptly ; but I will not write you any gratis letter ; no, I won't. 
I'll pay you in full, and with interest ; but I'll not throw away 
any more letters. Why, I don't even have the satisfaction of 
knowing whether or not you get them. 

There, now, I have scolded enough, and finished ; but I am in 
earnest as to letters. I'll not send any more except as I get them 
from you, even if it is " biting off my nose to spite my face." 

[Very extended extracts from Mrs. Keith's journal, transcribed 
"March, 1856," equalling in length her communication of the 
preceding November, and addressed, like that, to Rev. Dr. Lewis, 
are necessarily omitted in this place.] 

TO MISS GOODRIDGE. 

Shanghai, May 1, 1856. 

My dear Charlotte : Where are you ? What are you 
doing, that I have had no letter from you in six months. I sit 
down not to write much, for you are now somewhat in my debt, 



252 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

though I hope the scale will be more in your favor by arrival of 
next mail. I have been teaching English to the boys three hours 
to-day, and more than three hours at my girls' day school, besides 
attending to some of the many affairs of spring arrangements, so 
that I am at least a bit tired. But, having been less troubled (for 
a week past) than is usual with dyspepsia, I feel more vigorous 
than common, and so take up my pen. There is a weariness and 
exhaustion that a dyspeptic suffers from, far more paralyzing, if I 
may use such a term, than the most exhausting fatigue from mere 
bodily exertion. 

May 11th. — I will sit down to my desk and try to get on with 
this letter. I am admonished that I must not write, for the pres- 
ent at least, any more long letters, my stock of strength is so 
small. Yesterday I wrote some four or six pages (with a good 
deal of feeling) to a dear friend, and a long-continued headache 
and fever fit followed. 

It hurts me to lift a chair, or even a heavy plate ; so that, if 
my relatives are desirous of seeing me, even though sickness be 
the cause, I fear they will have cause to be gratified. Much as I 
should love to see all, it is hard to be sick. But I hope I shall be 
able to resign life, health, and comfort into the hands of Him 
whose purposes are all of wisdom and love. 

I grieve to hear of the bereavement you, in common with all 
your family, have suffered by the death of your mother. I pray 
that He who ordained the event may bless it to the best good of 
every member. There are so many topics, suggested by different 
portions of your letter, which I should love to write about ; but, I 
need not tell you, I do not feel the strength, nor do I feel willing 
to defer to " the morrow," for I may not be stronger, or if I am, I 
have accumulated labor to tax it. You say that to be deprived 
of ability to labor, would be most intolerable to one of my tem- 
perament. Yes ; but, perhaps, it is through such discipline I am 
to be more perfect in patience and the higher Christian [graces ?]. 
I would say, "if it be possible," spare me ; yet if I am not spared, 
I trust I shall have grace to bear the trial. All of us must drink 
the cup of sorrow. Our God and Father knows best how to pre- 
pare and administer it ! 

****** 

Oh, human nature, here in heathenism, at every step we see 
thy " dignity." "What a farce the translation of some Unitarian 
sermons would be, if preached in this longitude 1 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 253 



TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, May 10, 1856. 

After several months of almost entire dearth of letters, some- 
times not receiving a line from any one, I have to record the most 
remarkable mail since my marriage, that is, that I had a feast of 
eleven nice long letters ! The penalty I paid for such a feast, after 
so long a fast especially, was a sleepless night from too great 
excitement, and, of course, a weary subsequent day. Another 
consequence of so many letters is that my head is full of thoughts 
and things that I want to talk about to these various friends, and 
how little of all those can the pen convey ! Yet how thankful 
I ought to be for the pen, as well as for the comparative rapidity 
with which communications fly from one end of the earth to the 
other ! I sit down to commence a reply to your letter first of all, 
that I may not be hurried uncomfortably, as I always am, if I 
wait till the last week. Well, where shall I begin ? Which, of 
many things, shall I first speak of? Let me take up your letter 
— that shall serve for my thread. You say, " it is difficult to keep 
up a patient, continued interest in the same object." Yes, indeed 
it is, and I suppose always has been a difficulty in our nature, if I 
may so speak, to persevere in any labor or effort. But patience 
and perseverance are the only human instruments (as a rule) of 
attaining any valuable results. What perseverance and faith 
there has been in the mission to Cape Palmas — and now what a 
reward, the first fruits of what we trust will be glorious harvest ! 
No tidings have animated me so much since I have been in China 
as the news from Africa. But, oh, it makes me feel that there is 
need of more faith and zeal and prayer in our own hearts, that we 
here may claim the blessing of those who faint not. You speak 
of the numerous objects of benevolence which claim the interests 
and contributions of Christians. It seems to me the inconvenience 
from that is, not that the objects are many, but because the real 
laborers, working Christians, are so few, and those few have to 
undertake, or to endeavor to sustain the burden of the whole 
army. In this age of steam and electricity it must be that every 
operation must be quickened to keep up with the world. I saw 
with pleasure in some religious paper — I believe it was the 
" Church Journal " — the number of benevolent objects which 
were now claiming public attention. The rapid increase of our 
country requires of Christians more and more effort ; but oh, as I 
said, the drag is, that not one, or more than one in ten of the 
enlisted " soldiers of Christ " are half awake. Go " work " in my 
vineyard ! " Ye are not your own : " how little are these words 
understood, or if understood, how little obeyed ! The feeling is not 



254 MEMOIR OF MK8. KEITH. 

" how much can I do for such a Master," but how little can I do, 
and not lose a part in his kingdom ? There are many who love 
father, or husband, or child enough to be willing to undergo great 
suffering for their sakes, to desire fellowship with their sufferings, 
rather than happiness in any way separated from the loved ones ; 
but how few really come up to this, i. e., the desire to have fellow- 
ship with Christ even in suffering and self-denial, which was the 
desire of St. Paul for the saints. 

But in these numerous and most excellent charities, is China 
to be neglected in the contributions and prayers of those who love 
their Lord and the world for which He died ? It is less an object 
of interest now than it has been for the last few years, evidently — 
at least, our Mission is, in the minds of our brethren and sisters at 
home. " True charity begins at home," and unspeakably sad 
would it be to neglect or forget to take care of the religious inter- 
ests of our own dear native land ; but a Chinese soul is as precious 
in the sight of God as any other ; and can you realize that this 
one province of the eighteen provinces of China contains more 
inhabitants than our own United States ? Oh that this one 
thought would have its weight, its due weight ! How important, 
then, beyond the power of expression, is the mission to China ! 
God in his providence and by his Spirit disposes the hearts of 
men, and calls them to their appointed work. There will never 
be, according to the usual operation of things, in the order of 
Providence, a very large tax upon Christendom for the foreign 
field ; so that they who remain need not be alarmed, lest the home 
vineyard should be neglected. What ! do those who so fear an 
excessive interest in the foreign work, forget what were the last 
words of our ascending Lord : " Go teach all nations " ? "Who 
shall dispute His wisdom ? And is the small number of eleven — as 
we are now—or thirteen — as we shall number when Messrs. Lig- 
gins and Williams arrive — or twenty, as we ought to be to-day — 
too large a draft from a communion numbering one hundred thou- 
sand ? And as many or more for Africa, whose claims are so strong 
upon America ? And then the means of support to those. Oh 
how small they are, compared with the object aimed at ! How 
easily obtained if the hearts of those who profess Christ were 
really given to Him. See how hearts and purses responded to 
the call from Norfolk ; and to that city of a few thousand souls 
went out more sympathy than was ever given in twice ten years 
to all China — I might almost say, to the whole heathen world, 
which is perishing in a far more fearful destruction. More money 
was given, too, than would have been needed for the support of 
all the China mission. And, as I dare say, has often been said, 
though I have not seen any such comparison — how much treasure 



MISSIONARY LIFE. • 255 

has been expended in the search for Sir John Franklin and his 
men — not to say in the search for the North-west passage ! 
And this interest and contribution for his relief was confined to a 
smaller circle than the number in our church. All these were 
precious lives, and Norfolk, truly, was not too kindly cared for ; 
but what were all these to the multitudes of precious souls who 
are in darkness, and on the way to certain death, because the 
church does not come up to her duty ? When shall we see Chris- 
tian merchants doing for missions what Grinnell and others did to 
save Franklin ? I know, my dear friend, that you and yours are 
not of those who are forgetful whose you are, and to whom all is 
due ; but I write as I feel in looking over the army of Christ. 
Oh, what are they doing ? Alas, there is one word, the key to 
all this apathy ! They have not faith. They do not believe in 
those things which are matters only of faith : heaven — hell — the 
soul — and eternity, a precious redemption — all these are con- 
cealed by the mists of sense, and all vigorous faith is dead. Our 
piety is a hereditary one, conformed to custom, but not to the 
apostolic custom and precept. This world fills the heart, and 
death and the last account are forgotten. Yet there are seven 
thousand who have not " bowed to Baal." Ah, my friend, what 
shall we do ? There is only one resource, that is God ; for with 
Him is the residue of the Spirit, and he can turn the hearts of 
His children to himself. And those who love His kingdom must 

give Him no rest till He make Jerusalem a praise in the earth. 
* * * * * * 

The thirty dollars we had from a friend of Mr. K.'s, and 
the forty I obtained from my good friend the English chaplain in 
Shanghai, comforted and encouraged me not a little ; and now, 
that we are fairly furnished as housekeepers, and our salary 
affording us more spending money than those who have a larger 
number to tax it, I fully trusted to that, to go on, at least, to the end 
of the Chinese year, next February ; but the exchange being so 
heavy against the committee, it was agreed to relinquish at least 
for some time, as an experiment, a part of present salaries, cut- 
ting off thus a hundred and twenty or thirty dollars a year — enough 
almost to have maintained a school for that time. I do not believe 
the experiment of lessened salary will be continued long, for I do 
not see how persons with three or four children can thus make the 
ends of the year meet in Shanghai. But, however that may be, 
it cut off all, or almost all our surplus ; for the little besides to spare 
is all mortgaged to the poor and helpless, and we know not how 
to put them aside at the time of greatest need, and I did not know 
which way to turn. Possibly (but I doubt) the schools can next 
year again draw from the mission treasury ; but how to keep on 



256 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

to meet that forlorn hope was the question. Again I had recourse 
to my good friend, and to my joy received fifty dollars in reply, 
and the promise of fifty more, if I needed it, to carry me through 
the year. And a dear (Unitarian) friend has given me twenty- 
seven dollars (Shanghai, equal to many more, at home) to print a 
part of my geography, so that I may say that the good providence 
of my God has just made up the amount our salary was lessened, 
and which we had before planned to devote to the schools. So I 
hope and believe that the same Lord will provide for these schools 
next year — though I fear the good chaplain will have to leave for 
England on account of the feeble health of his wife, who is one of 
my very dearest friends here, or anywhere. 

Miss C. Jones, I imagine, certainly counts on her Leesburg 
(Va.) friends as permanent supporters of her girls' school, and I 
know Miss Conover hopes to get her friends to adopt hers, as I 
have little doubt they will. The two boys' schools are maintained 
thus. It is necessary to keep a servant to take care of each 
preaching place, i. e., the church in the city, and Mr. Nelson's 
preaching place ; by increasing the usual servants' wages one thou- 
sand cash each, a day-school teacher's wages is attained. I believe 
Mr. N. pays this extra one thousand cash monthly himself, and 
perhaps the Bishop does the same for Mr. Syle's school, now 
opened at the church ; at any rate, somebody, aside from the 
treasury, pays the one thousand " cash " per month each school. 

As you will have heard by last mail, Mr. and Mrs. Syle ar- 
rived in safety, and all well. Every one will welcome Mr. Syle — 
it seems good to have him back, both for his social qualities (valu- 
able especially in a mission) and for his sincere interest in, and 
hearty devotion to, missionary work. Mrs. Syle is so delighted to 
get back that her heart seems to go out to every one. I was 
much interested in the perusal of Henry's letters to his parents, 
and Mrs. Syle was, of course, much gratified at Abbie's benevolent 
undertaking of the mute language. I wrote to Mrs. Pierrepont 
last mail in the closure to yourself. I hope all were duly received. 
My kind love to her, when you see her, and congratulations upon 
her merciful preservation from serious injury in her fall on the iron 
of the railroad. I was glad to have you write so much about your 
children. As I have told you before, you need not fear taxing me, 
for I am sure, I love you at least well enough to rejoice in your 
joy. How queer it would be if Oli should come to China — say, 
when we return after our visit to the United States. " Visit," I 
say, because I suffer more and more, and not less and less, from 
dyspepsia and want of strength. I believe I do not neglect the 
duties of my schools, but I often drag a poor weak body to the 
discharge of these duties, and spend many precious hours of each 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 257 

day unavoidably in resting. I know a sea voyage and relief from 
care would make me perfectly well again, and as strong and active 
as ever. I sometimes wonder now, as I look back upon days' 
works here in the past that would be impossible to me now. I 
want to stay in China, both for Mr. K.'s sake and my own, and for 
our interest in the work, to the very last minute — it is best to do 
so ; but when duty permits me to go (especially as I feel that only 
a change, an entire change of climate, will make Mr. K. well 
again), I say, when duty permits me to go, I shall obey with 
alacrity ; for how poor is life, how wearying its labors without 
health ! One evil, almost insurmountable, and wellnigh fatal to a 
dyspeptic, is bad flour, and in consequence, bad bread. Flour, in 
these parts at least, is tough and unmanageable — foreign flour, 
(inasmuch as it is Genesee), which does not bear transportation 
well, is often musty and sour. The baker's bread here always has 
some acid to the taste. Good, sweet, wholesome bread, oh how 
hard it is to obtain ! Sometimes, by various inventions, I get 
some perfectly sweet, what a comfort it is ! But it is so difficult to 
manage that I never have it two weeks at a time. I mean, such as 
an invalid dyspeptic stomach would entirely approve. All that I 
eat now is dry bread, and plain steak or chicken, and a little 
chocolate. Everything you can mention outside of these causes me 
indescribable oppression and distress, and a never-ceasing gnawing 
sensation. And you, much less any one who sees my tall frame, 
would not believe that I cannot lift anything so heavy as a chair 
without suffering where dyspepsia makes it so weak and tender. 

And now I have been writing longer than usual, I feel every 
motion of my pen just at my belt. I say all this that you may 
have a real peep at my physical struggles. I ought not to have 
written this long letter to one person, for I have many others to 
write ; but I do not know how yet to give up my correspondents ; 
yet that would be as easy as to write and leave half unsaid. Indeed, 
if I write at all, it must be in some sort as I wish — as to matter, I 
mean. I have not strength to polish or copy any letters. By 
the way, if you can, I wish you would copy and keep for me or 
send to me my report of my day school. I was so sorry, I did 
not keep a copy ; yet I had no strength to spare in copyings. But 
I should like to preserve it. Probably the letter Dr. Lewis pre- 
served. Mr. K. desires his kind regards to you and your family ; 
and with my best line to yourself, and kind remembrance to all 
friends, I am, as ever, in love C. P. Keith. 



258 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, July 26, 1856. 

My dear Brother : Such being the day of the month, 

although the thermometer is 90° in the shade (and at that two or 

three degrees lower than for the last four days), I take up my 

pen to prove that I do not forget that this day you complete 

thirty-nine years. How strange it seems ! Can you be so much 

older than this date twenty years ago, your sophomore year at 

Cambridge just closed, and my first year at Derry ? Can it be 

that you are in the fortieth year, and I " halfway home " ? Not 

that thirty -five and thirty-nine seem old to those who attain them, 

but to those who are younger. I remember how old, how very 

old a person of forty seemed to me when I was ten, and even 

when I was sixteen. I hope you are all well and happy to-day, 

and cheerful, even when looking back on life's mistakes, errors, and 

sufferings. You are ten years less three months and thirteen days 

older than " Cleveland." It is not improbable that next year this 

day may find me under your roo£ Indeed, we fully expect to 

leave, next spring, for America. 

****** 

I am writing at a large table writing-desk of Cleveland's, 
which, about three weeks since, was carried off and thrown into 
the small stream, having first been rifled of $41, two table spoons 
(which I kept there for safety and convenience), two dessert spoons, 
two silver fruit knives (these last being presents), and all his valu- 
able papers. The papers were left, and were as good as ever, 
after being dried. The thieves opened the outer blinds, broke a 
pane of glass, unfastened the sash, entered, and being probably 
startled before they had opened or had finished searching the desk, 
they unlocked the door, and ran off, table and all. A clock, worth 
$5, was also snatched off the mantelpiece. We were not quite 
out of debt yet (for our setting up housekeeping), and I was look- 
ing forward to September 1st, as the day when I could sing and 
dance, as owing nobody ; but lo ! this minus clock, spoons, and 
especially money, retards the happy day a month or two longer, 
and will prevent me the pleasure of taking home presents from 
China to many of my friends in America. Some retrenchment 
must be made to make up for this loss, and we cannot think it 
right to make it by restricting our plans among the Chinese. It 
is a luxury to make presents, but it is a luxury to which I have 
no right, and I ought to give up that, rather than what is a duty 
as well as a luxury, viz. : doing good among the Chinese. 

[Mrs. Keith's letters throughout the autumn of 1856 contain 
frequent references to her own and Mr. Keith's bodily infirmities. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 259 

September 6th she writes, "I weigh 105 lbs., quite a contrast to 
148-J, my weight in the winter of 1850." In October she writes, 
" I have no fears as to my own perfect recovery, but am far more 
anxious about Mr. Keith " 



TO MISS PLTJMER. 




October, 1856. 


* * 


* 


* 



* * 

In the year 1848, when a false love had scattered all my fond 
hopes, and left me again alone on a world whose coldness I had 
shrunk from through long years of orphanhood, my heart not only 
suffered most keenly, but presumed in unrepressed murmurings to 
find fault with the path God had made me to walk in. I went 
back to early childhood, when my longings for advantages and 
companions I did not, could not enjoy in New Market, were most 
distinct. I thought of the education I had coveted (far beyond 
my equals, Mary, far beyond what I have), of the blighting of 
youthful ambition, of the diminution of my father's property, 
which would have been to me an easy independence, and, to my 
simple desires, affluence. I thought of my brother's clouded pros- 
pects, of my long painful exile at the South, of the life of happi- 
ness that was in my reach at Louisville, but that this false one had 
robbed me of it. I thought of everything real and of everything 
imaginary that had been a source of grief and trial to me, and I 
looked forward to the dreary path that then was before me, 
through which. I must tread wearily on to forgetfulness, if I 
might, of this bitter sorrow. Oh, the tempest that raged within ! 
I shuddered at the feelings and thoughts that arose within my heart 
toward the God who made me, in whose hand was my breath and 
all my eternal future. Conscience told me that I was a miserable 
sinner, and could claim no good from His hands, though He had 
indeed given me many and great blessings ; far above what the 
majority even of mankind enjoyed. But thoughts of my own 
guilt or of God's undeniable past goodness were equally powerless 
to quell the demon of rebellion that was raging fearfully within. 
Yet, when I thought of His power, I shuddered at my position, 
for I felt that He might justly leave me without mercy for my 
ingratitude and complaining. I knew that I ought to bless and 
praise Him, yet I could not but feel that there was that in my 
breast which was in unison with the lost spirits who " tremble " in 
the world of misery, yet who rage at Him whose power they can- 
not escape. I felt as though they were rejoicing (if the lost can 
rejoice) in a companionship in spirit with me ! How I hated my- 
self, yet self still ruled 1 Conscience said, " God is good, is just. 



260 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

is wise, it is right he should be Governor. He doeth all things 
well, may He bring good out of evil." Conscience said this, but 
only stirred up anew the tempest as self-will replied, " Be it so ; 
but His ways do not suit me ; He has afflicted, thwarted, disap- 
pointed and cast me down. I would not have Him to reign over 
me ! " Not in the least do I exaggerate the mental tempest, nor 
could words exaggerate the agony caused by the conflict of con- 
science and self-will, of wild grief and of hopelessness, of con- 
sciousness of sin and fear of the Being against whom I was 
contending. Oh, Mary, then did the heavens gather blackness 
indeed ; then did I feel that I was alone in the universe, with a 
God who could but punish such a sinful, rebellious creature ! To 
live thus without God ! Nay, in controversy with Him ! The 
thought was intolerable ! Yet how should I escape from myself, 
how cast out the demoniac spirit that had found entrance, how 
return to God, how find pardon and peace ? After suffering many 
days from this peculiar spiritual anguish, I said, " I know what I 
will do, and if I perish, I perish I " I will go to my room, and 
from this moment, except my school duties, I will do nothing, think 
of nothing, but to find again the light from heaven. I will not 
eat or sleep, though it be for days (except such slight refreshment 
as nature must have), till I have settled this contest." I remember 
the fixedness of my resolve ; but I do not remember the time 
which passed ere I found peace. I really cannot say if one night 
intervened, but I think not ; I remember the awful solemnity with 
which I knelt before God, that God whom I was defying, and from 
whom I could justly expect only punishment ! Yet to Him I 
came, for He alone could save, could save me from myself, from 
my wild and sinful grief, despair, and self-will. I had nothing to 
tell him of but sin and misery. I had but one petition, and that 
was that He would turn my heart. I had but one plea, and that 
was his mercy, his wonderful love, as so wonderfully made known 
in the death of His dear Son. And in this self-loathing and this 
up-looking I was heard, I was saved. Oh, Mary, if words are not 
sufficient to describe the suffering I had endured, much less, oh, 
how much less are they sufficient to describe the happiness that 
followed ! My thoughts were now all of Him and little of myself, 
except to remember His wonderful, abounding mercy to me all my 
life long and even in this last sorrow ! I remember it was a dark, 
rainy day (like this one to-day), but there seemed a halo of light 
wherever I looked. Do not deem me mystic : you know how 
bright everything looks when you have been very happy, and 
now, I was happy beyond anything I had ever conceived of. 
Yes, I repeat it, beyond what I had ever been able to conceive of; 
and the world was bright, oh, how bright with a Father's love ! 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 



261 



For days I seemed to walk as if on air. When I lay down, His 
love pillowed my head ; when I arose, His love was my strength 
and my guide. His character, in its loveliness, its perfection, was 
the theme of my constant thought. Surely, I said, I shall never 
weary of joining the angels in their song above. Well might St. 
Paul say that " Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it 
entered into the heart of man to conceive the things God hath pre- 
pared for them that love Him ! " " Yea, even on earth, He has 
prepared things passing understanding." It seemed to me that 
all I had suffered in life was a cheap price to give for those few 
days of indescribable joy, and yet heaven too was before me, and 
if I was not unfaithful, many more hours of rich enjoyment on 
earth, enjoyment which earth cannot give, and which, blessed be 
God, it cannot take away ! The struggle had been awful, the 
submission was entire, the peace was perfect. It was to me the 
Mount of Transfiguration, where I saw a glory not of earth — but 
a wise Father does not intend us to dwell there, and it is the de- 
scent that has dangers. Such a rapt state might not be best for 
life's duller scenes, but the memory of such victories, of such visits, 
of such revealing of God's power to bless — the memory, I say, is a 
precious treasure, and calculated to cheer and strengthen us when 
God in his wisdom shall see fit to call us to further discipline, and 
to tread yet again the path of sorrow, and to learn yet again the 
lesson of self-negation. But one other season in my life have I 
had such exquisite and indescribable joys. Perhaps, as I said, it 
is not best that they should be often, though I believe I might 
and ought to have lived far happier, but that I have failed in 
watchfulness, and prayer, and faith. 



TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Oct. 13, 1856. 

My dear Brother : I send you this by the fine and fast ship 
u Kathay," Captain Stoddard. I wish we were going in her, that 
is, I should wish so, if Mr. K. had done up the work he hopes to 
finish before he leaves ; viz., the first rough draft of a dictionary 
of this dialect. 

We heard by mail of the arrival in America of the " N. B. 
Palmer," which took our missionary, Miss Jones, also Mr. and Mrs. 
Rankin, of Ningpo, Dr. and Mrs. Kelly, of the Methodist mis- 
sion here, and some other passengers. They seem to have suf- 
fered much from sickness, and more from miserable food. What 
do you think of the captain leaving here with only two barrels of 
flour, and that injured, and so small a supply of fresh provisions, 
that they were obliged to put into St. Helena to get some ? The 



262 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

captain was unwilling to do it, but Dr. Kelly told him if lie did 
not, then he (the captain) must take the consequences of what 
might be said and done in New York. But the day of the arrival 
in New York, they had eaten up all the provision again, and 
would have had nothing for next day. Of course, there was salt 
ship beef, but how could people suffering from bowel complaints eat 
that ? We shall take warning, and lay in eatables of our own, 
for we cannot be sure who is who. Oh, for another Captain 
Webber, of the " Tartar ! " 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, Oct. 23, 1856. 

My dearest Maby : More than a week since, I sent off a 
long letter to you by the ship u Kathay." I then as good as prom- 
ised to write very soon in reply to your letters of May 2 2d and 
July 2d, received in September and October. I cannot find a 
better day to begin, I think, than this very 23d of October, which, 
you know, always reminds me of happy faces and bright cheeks at 
Derry this time nineteen years ago. Nineteen years ! how solemn 
those words, as connected with the passage of years over the head 
of a probationer in time ! But your own mind can follow out the 
lesson of this anniversary. For myself, though it is contrary to 
the rule of growing years, I look back far less than I used to do, 
and look forward more, for in the past I see less and less to regret 
but my own sins and follies, and in the future I see more and 
more to invite, in respect to usefulness, and, consequently, as to 
the purest, most satisfying happiness. Should I be spared nine- 
teen more years of active, healthy life, how much, oh, how much 
more I hope to do for good than I have done, in the same time in 
the past ! Surely these years now about to pass over my head 
(if I am continued among the living) are among the most effect- 
ive for good of any one's life. The glitter of life is gone, its real- 
ities are better appreciated, the wisdom of experience is at the 
command of him who seeks to " redeem the time," as remember- 
ing that the time is short, that the stewardship hastens to its close, 
and the promised inheritance draws near. I am not going to be 
too serious, however, in this letter ; for I fear I may indulge too 
much in general in the serious, and not in the more varied con- 
verse which is the most healthful and the most appropriate to 
letters. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Nov. 3, 1856. 

I have just been reading Motley's " Rise of the Dutch Repub- 
lic." I think it might be well entitled "An Invective against 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 263 

Philip Second, with respect to his reign in the Netherlands." 
But, though I think the style too diffuse, and the matter often 
repetitious, and the writer lacking in dignity, yet in my heart I 
cannot find fault with his hot anger at the tyrant. I especially 
admire the hearty manner in which he speaks of religion, as though 
he himself were a Christian, while there is nothing in the volumes 
of Prescott's " Philip the Second," that I recollect (certainly nothing 
that impressed me), to mark his sympathy with a Christian heart. 
Beautiful, most beautiful is his style, clear as the blue rivers of 
New England, and moving on as gently and smoothly ; but, for 
anything that appears, he might be of any religion or no religion, 
a Deist or the like. It is well enough, perhaps, that a historian 
should disappear, and give no tone to his subject, morally, but yet 
my feelings carry me with Motley. While I am delighted with 
Prescott, as if listening to a faultless melody (so perfect is his 
style), I am carried along by Motley as by one who, with many 
deficiencies, or faults of manner, should throw himself heart and 
soul into a rougher, but more stirring song. I feel like shaking 
hands with Motley in hearty sympathy ; and though Prescott 
makes me see enough of Philip Second to hate him, yet it is tem- 
perately. But Motley makes me feel that if my foot was on 
Philip's neck, I would love to stamp him to destruction like a 
deadly serpent, and I cannot hear my conscience saying that such 
a feeling is excessive. I have written a whole page on Motley, 
and you will probably be far less interested in my '• review " than 
I am myself. However, I thought of it by day and dreamt of it 
by night, so deeply was I interested. 

I have been interested in the various notices and extracts I 
have seen from our and other religious papers as to Prof. Hunt- 
ington. I wonder that you should not have given me more of 
Boston gossip. I am still an all-alive creature, just as I used to 
be, as you'll find. I have a head and heart still, and I don't 
believe it is " musty fusty " yet. My sympathies are as quick as 
ever, only I can't give much time when in health to the political 
newspapers. There really is not time for everything ! I was the 
more interested in Prof. Huntington, from having seen some quo- 
tations from his newspaper at the time of its printing the Dutton 
sermon on the Atonement. He introduced the publication of that 
discourse with remarks that I am sure found a response in some, 
if not many hearts, in Unitarian congregations. I have not the 
papers at hand, and cannot quote well. They related to the un- 
satisfactoriness of the views of the Unitarians as to the work of 
Christ in the redemption of sinners. From my own experience, I 
know it was there I was the most unsatisfied and troubled, and 
the few deeply devout natures among Unitarians, whom it was 



264: MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

my lot to be well acquainted with, felt a similar difficulty, yet 
were not ready to accept the prevalent " orthodox " views. Let 
a man's sins once look him in the face, and let him at the same 
time have any right sense of the holiness of God, and the demands 
of His law, for one I do not know where he can find peace but in 
" Him, who was made sin for us," that we might be made the 
"righteousness of God in Him." Then the words of St. Paul are 
of inexpressible, and most joyful significance, " being justified by 
faith, we have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ." 

But that dry -light and powerful-minded strikes a far 

different note from Prof. Huntington. He is convinced that the 
doom of the old faith is sealed. "Well, he is a powerful reasoner 
and weighty man, and Boston and Massachusetts are bright spots 
doubtless. Yet, for all that, there is a large piece of world out- 
side, that has not yet dreamed of Unitarianism, and, moreover, 
there is a still larger class that need to be turned from idols. I 
cannot believe that the preacher of " virtue " would ever convert 
this heathen world. It is slow enough now, with a sterner preach- 
ing, but Confucius should just as soon be my preacher as « or 

Theodore Parker. Though, in this imperfect and sin-burdened 
world, there are and ever will be a thousand errors in belief, yet 
as to the character and work of Christ, the two opposing views do 
not admit of compromise. An earnest, conscientious Unitarian 
could not, without horror, think of committing idolatry, and joining 
in worship of Christ, nor could the sincere believer in his Divine 
Nature, with less reluctance, join in rites and worship that recog- 
nized only the human nature of our Lord. Nor do I think the 
one ought to accuse the other of " bigotry," because there can be 
no alliance. I love an earnest spirit in whatever cause, and espe- 
cially in behalf of what one holds for truth, for what is more val- 
uable, what more worthy of earnestness ? It would be a shame 
were I colder in my love to Him, who, I believe, suffered for me. 
His praise is the theme that will never tire. Throughout eternity, 
the ascription of " blessing, glory, honor, power, and dominion to 
God and the Lamb " shall ascend from countless redeemed ones. 
Can it be that a finite being's praise should thus endure — shall 
thus increase forever, without wearying ? None but the Infinite 
is exhaustless in perfection, so that His praise could be enduring as 
eternity. And, surely, if Christ be not God, then has God him- 
self laid in our way (I speak with reverence) the greatest tempta- 
tion and inducement to the sin of idolatry that could be laid. 
Christ is the beginning and end, the all in all of the apostle's 
preaching, and in the song of the redeemed it is He " who hath 
washed us in his own blood." Truly, if Christ be not God, one 
would need to watch their every emotion as they recounted his 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 265 

benefits, lest they should, at the same time, be found guilty of 
giving to Christ that, of which God has said, " My glory I will 
not give to another." 

I had no idea of writing all this. But in connection with my 
reading the last week, some such thoughts as these arose, and now 
in writing (as I was quite at leisure to-day), they have expanded 
themselves fivefold. And this is what I think belongs to a real 
live correspondence ; an interchange, or at least a free expression 
of thought, as opportunity or leisure may allow. This it is, which, 
to my taste, makes letters fresh and living, and that keeps up 
interest and common stock of matter for conversation, as though 
face to face. There is, in my letters, very little of the external 
world, and of every-day events. Not but that I think such letters, 
too, very interesting and acceptable, but somehow or other, such 
matter gets pushed out of my letters by a stronger interest I have 
in things less apparent to the eye. 

TO MISS ALMIRA OSBORNE. 

Shanghai, Dec. 14, 1856. 

My dear Almira : Your Defence, of July 20th, was received 
10th inst., and I sit down to commence my reply, that it may be 
ready for the first ship. (Some one this minute knocks, and will 
stay to tea, so I must stop.) December 20th (resumed). Since I 
have laid down my pen, I have been much engaged in cares, not 
" spiritual," but temporal and worldly. 

* * * These are not " spiritual " cares, are they ? Besides 
this, I have twenty hoods to make or partly make for some of the 
children in my school, as a closing-up gift. These are not " spir- 
itual cares," are they? You see we missionaries carry bodies 
with us and live among poor people, and, while this is the case, a 
large portion of our cares, even, must be not spiritual. Christmas 
is close by, now, but for such invalids as Mr. K. and myself, there 
is no need of cake, pudding, pie, or turkey, so that such cares I 
escape, from a sad cause. But the Bishop's lady will give all the 
mission a dinner, and Mr. K. and myself will attend, to eat dry 
rice and mutton, and look on, and see the rest smack their lips. 

I have been highly amused at the effect my letter had upon 
you. The fact was, I was laughing behind my ears all the time I 
was talking so stoutly. But, when I saw the collar, " says I to 
myself," "I'll never say another word." If I should work one of 
those collars, I should have to give all my correspondents the go- 
by for at least six months, and, no doubt, you have worked at 
least two, besides abundance of knitting. As you were used to 
knit for your brothers, I suppose you now knit for their children. 
12 



266 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

The collar is "beautiful : I am all in the fashion when I wear it, 
just like the English ladies' fixings, for you must know that, never 
keeping a sharp eye on the fashions, and having been so poorly 
for two years, I am wonderfully musty in dress just now, and it is 
well for my outward man that I am going home. * * * 

I fear now that the increased indisposition of Mr. Keith will 
hurry us off before we receive our February mails, so that we 
shall be in happy ignorance of the Presidential catastrophe. 

And now darkness forbids me writing longer, and I must close 
my chat for the present. When we next talk, I trust it may be 
face to face. Give much love to each and all the cousins, the 
cousins-in-law, and the second cousins, and twice as much to the 
old folks, whom may God preserve to a green and blessed old age. 
For your own share, take as much as you please, and believe me 
ever your affectionate cousin, 

Caroline P. Keith. 



TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

Shanghai, Jan. 1, 1857. 

Dear Sister Lizzie : A happy, very happy year to you and 
those you love. It would be pleasant, if I could pop in and give 
you all such salutation, viva voce, and not with a stiff pen at the 
distance of 17,000 miles. God willing, the next New Year will 
not find us so far from loved relations. 

January lQth. — Our auction took place three days ago, and 
went off very well. "We have since then been staying at the 
Bishop's. We must be ready to go to the ship to-day. I need 
not say how sweet is the thought of seeing you all so soon. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 267 



CHAPTER V. 

1857, 1858, 1859. 

On the Ocean and in America— Report (written at sea) of Missionary Labor in 1856 — 
Sufferings on the Voyage Home— Arrival in America— Letter to a Young Lady — 
Sin, in the Bible, " The Great Fact of Human Life" — Deficiency of TJnitarianism 
— Wants Satisfied in the Episcopal Church—" Aspiration "—History of her Conse- 
cration to Missionary Life — Deepening of her Eeligious Experience— Farewell to 
America— Hardships and Sufferings on the Return to China— Arrival at Shanghai. 

TO REV. E. W. SYLE. 

North Atlantic, April 13, 1857. 

My dear Mr. Syle : My first attempt at writing since we 
left Java, was to fulfil my promise to you ; but my will was better 
than my strength, and after a week's interval, I make another 
attempt. My first day school for girls was commenced Oct. 31st, 
1854, being the second of that description in the mission. The 
teacher employed was a young Chinese woman under thirty years 
of age, of excellent educational capacity for teaching and discipline. 
I know of no previous instance among foreigners of the employ- 
ment of a female teacher in their schools. The opportunity for 
opening a school at the time proved to be peculiarly fine. Owing 
to the disturbances in Shanghai, numbers of city people were 
living in the country and in the vicinity of our mission. Some of 
them were glad to avail themselves of the twenty " cash " per day 
offered each pupil for attendance ; others, being of the class above 
the very poor, were really pleased to have their children learn 
something of books also. Under such circumstances, it was the 
general opinion of those who visited the school that the pupils 
were superior in ability to those generally obtained in the country. 
Until April, when the city was opened to its inhabitants again, 
the attendance was as regular as in the best schools at home. At 
that time, in one week the number fell from twenty to twelve, 
but the number soon filled up, though, from time to time through 
the summer, a promising pupil would drop off and return to the 
city. New pupils, however, were constantly coming in, and so 
the number was kept up to twenty, being limited to that number. 
The routine of instruction was principally as follows : the pupils, 
if very young, were put to learning the "fong-z," arranged from 
the book they were first to study. If older, they were put at once 
into the primer, called " Yu Yak," which they were required to 
memorize, and to know every letter of it. I found that a child of 



268 MEMOIR OF MKS. KEITH. 

seven or eight, if bright, could learn the characters of the creed in 
two weeks thoroughly, and memorize it in another week. When 
a child was familiar with the primer, they were put into the Gos- 
pel of St. Matthew, which was learned in a similar manner, and 
at the same time the Catechism on the Creed was commenced, 
which was studied every Saturday forenoon, and every Sunday 
afternoon. The afternoon of Saturday was allowed for holiday, 
and the children were reminded to wash their clothes, and come to 
school next morning cleanly and tidy. The penalty for neglect 
of this was loss of ten cash, but I seldom enforced it unless there 
was habitual neglect of my request. But I always took notice of 
the matter by praise or the contrary. Attendance at the chapel 
service was required every Sunday forenoon (from nine to ten), 
and from that time till twelve I generally spent at the school 
(when my strength allowed) in questioning and explaining. This 
time always passed very quickly to me, and the children were gen- 
erally attentive and ready. Sunday afternoon was again devoted 
to the study of the Catechism. A portion of every week-day 
afternoon was devoted to writing, and a still larger part to sewing. 
This latter occupation was of the more importance, as a matter of 
instruction, from the fact that so few poor women in China know 
anything of the use of the needle. I find, if not working in the 
fields or spinning and weaving, they are driven to eke out a live- 
lihood by the making of " ding," used in their indolatrous wor- 
ship. This seems to be a favorite employment, and even those 
long educated in Christian schools practise it in preference to 
other work, it is so light and clean. But to give the children a 
ready use of the needle, both in plain sewing and embroidery, is 
not only to increase their ability of self-support, but would remove 
a great difficulty and temptation from the way of any who might 
sincerely desire to become Christians and to avoid compliance 
with sinful customs. For the first six months (or even a year) of 
a pupil's attendance, learning the doctrine and study of the books 
I have considered of first importance. On account of the danger 
of their leaving at an early period, I felt it important that the 
poor heathen children should attain as much knowledge of the 
gospel as possible in a short time. I have noticed that the pupils 
who begin a second year generally go through with it. During 
the first year the scholars who were most regular in attendance 
and of best abilities, having mastered the primer, also finished St. 
Matthew's Gospel and the Catechism on the Creed and on the 
Commandments, and had done something toward learning the 
Romanized Primer. This latter book they were allowed to study 
half an hour every other day, and then half an hour each day ; 
for as it was then an experiment, I was jealous of the time. Three 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 269 

or four months of this kind of study, however, made the older 
pupils quite able to read the primer well. These books, above 
mentioned, being completed, I did not require any more Gospels 
to be memorized, but only to be thoroughly read, so as to gain a 
good knowledge of the matter of the books and a quick eye for 
the characters. In this manner the advanced class in the second 
year proceeded to read, and finished, the books of Acts, St. Luke, 
and St. Mark, and " Line upon Line," which is an epitome of 
Scripture History, from the creation to the establishment of the 
Israelites in the Promised Land. They also read very thoroughly 
" Henry and his Bearer," in the Romanized letter, and make a tol- 
erable acquaintance with geography as far as through Asia. They 
proceeded also to the Catechism on the Lord's Prayer, which was 
finished, and with the previous Catechism was constantly reviewed. 
My plan was to review them monthly in each these Catechisms, 
taking one volume for one Sunday and so on. I need scarcely 
mention that constant visiting, examining, and questioning was 
practised by me, as a means of fixing in their memories what had 
been learned, and of quickening their attention. Twice a week 
was the minimum of visiting, four times was the average, but at 
the last my feebleness made me almost unable to put much life 
into my " talk," which was a source of deep regret, for I can truly 
say that the hours spent in my day schools were the happiest I 
knew in China. I was sure it was missionary work, for the Gos- 
pel (not English) " was preached to the poor." But I beg pardon 
for this digression. At the time of my departure from Shanghai 
(January, 1857), the school had been in continuance just two years 
and three months, and ten of the first pupils still remained, and 
professed to be intending to continue to the next year. They 
were able to read with readiness and to answer with pleasing 
intelligence. The number of the school was always full, though 
the average attendance (principally on account of the long sickly 
season in summer) was not more than sixteen or eighteen. The 
second year pupils were admitted to the number of twenty-five, 
and this was found to tax the teacher to her utmost ability. A 
promise had been made by the Church of the Holy Trinity in 
Brooklyn, for the support of this school. Up to the beginning of 
1856, this promise had not been fulfilled, but during that year a 
donation was sent from them amounting to two hundred and 
twenty-five " home " dollars, and fifty-five Shanghai dollars. It 
was thought proper on several accounts to call this the Brooklyn 
Girls' Day School. Dr. Fisk added to its funds by a donation of 
seventy -five Mexican dollars, so that its prospects were bright for 
the year 1857, as to finances, and I cannot refrain from expressing 
the sincere satisfaction I feel that the school is now in charge of a 



270 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

lady who will, I know, be faithful to all its interests. This school, 
commenced, as I have said, in October, 1854, under the care of a 
female teacher, was so prosperous that I desired to undertake an- 
other school of a like character, which should be situated some 
little distance in the country. The place finally selected was 
called Nie-Ka-KoJc, about two miles from Hong Ku. Mr. Keith 
established a boys' school in the same hamlet, and accompanying 
me in all my visits, I was. thus able to venture upon so distant a 
school. The person employed as teacher of my school at this 
place, was an aged, lady-like Chinese, of uncommon learning and 
very interesting character. She had conducted much of the edu- 
cation of her own sons, of whom she was bereft when they had 
come to man's estate. One was a graduate, the other a successful 
teacher. She was thus left an aged widow in reduced circum- 
stances, with two daughters looking to her for aid. She proved 
very faithful and diligent in the discharge of her duties, but her 
age and some deafness rendered her somewhat less efficient in dis- 
cipline than would otherwise have been the case. Preaching was 
at first undertaken by Mr. Keith in connection with these schools, 
but discontinued from want of hearers, the men being constantly 
in the fields after the busy season came on. The school proved a 
very interesting one, the number (as usual twenty) always full, 
and the attendance very regular. They were faithfully and thor- 
oughly taught so far as they went. In one year the best scholars 
had finished the primer ( Yu Yak), two of the Catechisms, and the 
Gospel of St. Mark. That they accomplished somewhat less than 
the first school was owing chiefly to a summer of unusual sick- 
ness, which few if any of the scholars escaped. At this village 
we met several women and one man who professed to be inter- 
ested in learning the Christian doctrine. Two of them continued 
to come for instruction. One of them, "Wong Boo-boo, has been 
admitted to the church, and appears a true and humble disciple. 
The other, a half-blind woman, receiving a weekly allowance, was 
not admitted, but continued a learner. In the mean time the aged 
teacher, who seemed naturally fond of books, had eagerly read the 
Christian books which had been put into her hands, and with 
much earnestness she desired baptism, to which she was admitted 
about a year from the time of her coming to us. Laden with sor- 
row, she may be said to have believed with gladness of heart, and 
with especial readiness of mind, for from her intelligence the task 
of explanation was comparatively easy. When the day schools 
were relinquished by the mission treasury from want of funds (in 
the spring of 1856), Mr. Keith being unable to sustain his longer, 
this girls' school at Nie-Ka-Kok was given up with great regret on 
my part, and apparently on those of the scholars Six of them 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 271 

came a distance of two miles to the Brooklyn day school. After 
a few weeks, one ceased from weariness of her walk (three miles), 
another continued eight months, and being interrupted by sickness 
never returned. Another, being transferred to a Christian board- 
ing school, soon after died ; but three continued to come through 
the year, two of which were most persevering and regular in 
attendance, and rapid in their acquirements. Having given up 
the Nie-Ka-Kok, I opened a girls' school at a hamlet called Tse 
Oong Pang (about a mile from Hoong Ku), and to this school the 
aged teacher Koo-Mang-Mang's services were transferred. This 
school was never so well filled as the two others, or, rather, though 
the number was twenty, the average attendance was scarcely 
more than fifteen. My own ill health prevented my visits, and 
compelled me to resign the charge of it early in the summer, and 
a long illness of the teacher was a further hinderance to its pros- 
perity. For the amount of its attainments, during the year, to its 
final close, January, 1857, I must refer you to Mrs. Syle, to whose 
kindness I am so much indebted for assuming the care of it at my 
request. I suppose this also must be recorded a defunct school, 
for Mrs. Syle, having undertaken the care of the Brooklyn school, 
could not well retain the distant school also. The teacher, more- 
over, had become almost too infirm for such a charge. I ought to 
mention here that, for the benefit of this school, I obtained aid 
from Mr. Hobson, to the amount of ninety dollars ; and a donation 
of twenty-five dollars from Salem, Virginia, was sent through Mr. 
Keith. In connection with these schools it may not be out of 
place to speak of the books which I was instrumental in having 
prepared for their use, and which were finally printed just before 
I left. Mr. Hobson gave me funds (sixty dollars) for publishing 
" Line upon Line " — personal friends, thirty-three dollars, in aid 
of bringing out the Geography. " Henry and his Bearer " was 
published by the funds of the Tract Society. These books, one or 
all, are used (and were used before printed, in copies by hand) in 
almost if not quite all the girls' day schools I know in Shanghai. 
I am not quite sure if those in our missions be exceptions, how- 
ever. I have thus, my dear Mr. Syle, endeavored to answer your 
wishes in sketching my own part in day schools. I am aware 
how imperfectly I have succeeded, and fear that you may find 
after all that these pages are deficient in some of the very partic- 
ulars you may most desire to see mentioned. Accept it, with the 
kind regards of yours, very sincerely, 

Caroline P. Keith. 



272 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO MISS PLTJMER. 

North Atlantic, Latitude 13% Longitude 60", 1 
Tuesday, April 7, 1857. J 

My deabest Mary : I Lave just finished re-reading your let- 
ter of September 29th, which was received about two weeks before 
we sailed from Shanghai, which important event took place Janu- 
ary 21st, in the ship "White Swallow," bound for New York, 
which port we hope to reach the latter part of next week. Having 
inflicted upon you three relative pronouns in the effort to convey 
three items (namely letter, sailing, and ship), I should tear up such 
an awkward commencement, were I not in these days very chary 
of my labors ! I thought the answer to your letter, my dear 
Mary, would be none the less acceptable, if brought by the 
writer ! rather than committed to the mail, especially as the mail 
and " "White Swallow" will probably arrive on nearly the same day, 
and thus you will get near three months' later date. When you 
wrote recommending "a voyage," did you expect us so soon? 
In fact we were hurried off, six weeks earlier than we had planned 
and wished, in consequence of Mr. Keith's more rapidly failing 
health. If I remember rightly, my last to you was written in 
October. Soon after that, Mr. Keith was taken with what seemed 
to be a severe cold, showing itself at first by violent shivering, 
and leaving him with a soreness of the chest, which the doctor 
thought rheumatic, as there was not the least cough to indicate 
any irritation of the lungs. But this soreness continuing, with 
increased weakness, rendering him quite unequal to any labor, 
there seemed nothing to do but avail ourselves of the first oppor- 
tunity to sail for the United States. None offering (in much 
probability) between the " White Swallow," January 20th, and the 
first of March, it was judged wisest to hasten off. This earlier 
departure, coupled as it was with diminished strength on the part 
of Mr. Keith, prevented the completion of his first draft of his dic- 
tionary, a work very dear to his heart. I probably mentioned it 
to you as one of the " plans " which you say my letter of May 
spoke of so fully. From the manner in which he had borne the 
summer of 1856, as compared with the summer of 1855, the doc- 
tor had hoped Mr. Keith would rally and do bravely ; but he 
worked up just a little more than his strength every day on his 
dictionary, and so found himself prostrated. For myself though 
I was, of course, more brisk than in the summer, and moving about 
in the boys' school and one day school (for one I had been 
obliged, during my severest suffering in summer, to give up to 
Mrs. Syle, who is ever ready to do what she can among the 
Chinese), yet my strength, I may say, was only skin deep, and no 
one had any idea of my daily discomfort and suffering but my hus- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 273 

band, who, of course, saw me at the worst as well as at the best. 
Fevered, excitable, restless — yet weary — oh ! how weary. No 
words can describe the weariness of feeling which is a part of dys- 
pepsia ! The doctor's opinion is that two years' absence will 
restore us to health, but my confidence in his judgment as to us 
(though he is very skilful in the treatment of some kinds of disease) 
is not implicit. The health of both of us began to fail before our 
marriage (namely the summer of 1853). My trouble is a chronic 
dyspepsia, three years' standing. Mr. Keith's is some trouble of 
the bowels, of a still earlier commencement, and the nature of 
which is not understood, though there are various guesses. I 
fear, therefore, that at the best, three years will but bring us up 
the hill, which we have more than three years been descending. 
The doctor told us, too, that he thought we should very soon, 
when at sea, find the benefit of sea air, and ourselves much better 
when we should arrive in New York. But, on the contrary, we 
are far less well, less strong, and less comfortable than when we 
left China ! How weary the voyage has been (although to a well 
person it would have been a most favorable one), and how we long 
for shore, it would be impossible to describe to you. To-day is 
the beginning of the twelfth week of our voyage, though we were 
on board ship four days previous to the ship getting outside the 
pilotage. When we left Shanghai, our usual fare was simple 
baked chicken or mutton, rice (potatoes and the like not agreeing 
with us), and bread. For the first and the third meal of the day, 
weak black tea, and bread (in my case mostly without butter), and 
some soft-boiled rice with a little sugar (to vary the monotony of 
our fare), satisfied our simple wants. But, then, most important 
was it that the rice should be good, should be boiled properly, 
should not be too salt, or entirely without salt, should be picked 
clean and boiled in sweet water. I leave you to infer if all these 
conditions were likely to be fulfilled at sea. Of still greater con- 
sequence was bread, the staff of life, much more stimulating and 
nourishing than rice, which was only used as a relief to bread. 
Sour bread is poison to a weak or disordered stomach or bowels. 
"What was our horror to find, when two weeks out, that the toler- 
able flour was used up, and none remained but what you and I 
should call useless. Even the steward, used as he was to ship 
flour, said it was " so sour, it smelt ! " You can imagine the color 
and taste of the bread, though saleratus is abundantly used to cor- 
rect it. The consequence to us (though not to the others ; yet 
even they do not seem to have much liking for the bread these 
latter days) was, that we were to fast from bread all our voyage — 
not a pleasant thing to well people ; but to us invalids, whose 
want and need of it far, far exceeded the desire of it, keen as that 
12* 



274 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

has been, to us, I say, it has been a sore trial, which will make 
the memory of this voyage ever painful, bringing before us 
weariness and deprivation. You will ask, " "Were there no crack- 
ers ? " Yes, there were some, and some ship bread, but 
musty. Besides, it would have taken hours to soak them, had 
they been sweet and fit for us to eat. But (what few people 
understand) to eat dry crackers is to subject a dyspeptic to certain 
injury and (to me) distress, as it swells in the stomach ; and on 
the other hand, wet, soppy substances, as soaked crackers, are not 
the most desirable, as they cannot be well mixed with the saliva 
in mastication. However, we had two large boxes of crackers, 
and have soaked them and got on as well as we could, though at 
times we have been too delicate for those, and obliged to stick to 
the rice through " thick and thin ; " though it was often hard swal- 
lowing so insipid a thing when it was but indifferently cooked. Here 
is a history of our fare ; but even this would have been tolerable 
with health and a good appetite, even though none of the articles 
were even third rate. But feebleness has made it hard to bear as 
patiently as we ought. And, indeed, we have much reason to be 
thankful that we are so well as we are, and that our voyage bids 
fair to be so short, and that it has been so smooth ; for had it 
been long and rough, I almost think we should have received 
fatal damage. As it is, some of the more trying parts of the 
voyage have brought us down very much. Contrary to the doc- 
tor's prediction, we have lost flesh and appetite. We each weigh 
about one hundred pounds apiece ! One greater evil to me is the 
fevered, parched skin, which began to trouble me about a year 
last February, and now there are scarce three hours out of twenty- 
four when I feel natural, and not more than two nights in seven 
when I can dispense with opiates, and those are stupefying, horrid 
things. How many restless, fevered nights I have known in the 
last three years ! 

Having filled up one sheet with myself, it is time I should turn 
to other topics ; and my excuse for dwelling so long on our health 
is, that, as it is not probable I shall see you yet for months, you 

would desire a particular account of our state, now on our arrival. 
****** 

I am so ardent, that if I thought about slavery at all, my blood 
would boil too much for my good, and so I leave the battle to 
those who must fight it. I expect to find Buchanan President ! 
What more we shall find, I cannot conjecture — I hope not civil 
war ; and yet it seems to me that the North cannot stand South- 
ern aggression much longer. I have been reading on my voyage 
Wilkes's " Exploring Expedition," and I wish, if ever you have an 
opportunity, you would read it, at least portions of it. Lieut. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. i'75 

Wilkes enters quite fully into notices of the different missions in 
the islands of the Pacific, especially those of the Sandwich Islands. 
He particularly describes the houses, the furniture, and the attend- 
ance (and he knew, because he was repeatedly their guest). The 
account was so at the antipodes from the one given you years 
ago, that I wished you could see it. Your informant was prob- 
ably one of the large class of visitors who are content to learn 
what they know of missionaries from the accounts of enemies. 
Why these people are enemies, it is not difficult to account, and 
Lieut. Wilkes more than hints at the reasons (some of them), 
though, I confess, to my mind they are all included in the saying 
of our Master, " Marvel not if the world hate you ; you know that 
it hated me before it hated you." I know so much of people 
abroad going home and confidently affirming that they " know all 
about the missions," &c, when they really know nothing, have 
perhaps asked two or three questions, and taken common hearsay 
for answer as undoubted truth ! I only wish the good people at 
home knew the art of questioning — the ignorance of the wise 
travellers would soon appear ! 

Saturday Morning, May 2d. — My dear Mary : Words would 
be poor to describe the delight, the bodily and mental comfort of 
being among the known and loved ones. Yes, here we are safe, 
and feeling so much more comfortable than we could have expected 
from the sensations of the past fifteen weeks. We have had a 
most tedious time from the equator, thirty days, frequent calms and 
head winds, and provisions, through the villany of the steward, 
growing short, so that, had it not been for some private stores of 
our own, I do not know what we two sick people would have 
done. Pray, write at once, care of William T. Gutter, corner of 
Bedford and Lafayette Avenues, Brooklyn, N. Y. Oh ! how 
good it is to be in one's native land. Yours ever, most lovingly, 

C. P. Keith. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

North Atlantic, Latitude 24°, Longitude 57°, ) 
April 17, 1857. J" 

My dear Brother : Thirteen weeks ago, this day, we came 
on board ship, and a long and weary voyage has it been. Six 
weeks ago I should have thought it bad enough, nay, almost intol- 
erable, to be becalmed as we are so near our goal. So long con- 
fined not only to insipid, but, to us, not the most nourishing or 
healthy diet, we are as thin as skeletons, and weak accordingly. 
But you will sympathize partly in the agony of mind (yes, on yes- 
terday I may say I endured agony) I could not escape, when, as 
day after day continued, I knew the ship stores that we could eat 



276 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

of, would last but five days longer ! Do you ask what those stores 
are ? I answer, chickens, of which yesterday there remained six- 
teen and two small porkers, for you must know that we have not 
had the luxury of bread but once this voyage, viz., at the first, the 
flour being so bad (so sour) as to be useless to us, and indeed, of 
late (say six weeks), little eaten by any one. Next, the rice, 
which began to be brought on the table three or four weeks ago, 
was so musty (and, withal, of so glutinous a nature as to be per- 
nicious to us, being brought from Siam on speculation, and, though 
offered cheap to the Chinese in a time of scarcity and monetary 
pressure, could not be sold to them), that we could not eat it, 
and so have been living on our own stock, which will be utterly 
exhausted in five days more. Bread and ice being minus, " How 
then ? " say you. I answer, we have been keeping ourselves along 
all the way on indulgence of crackers of our own (those on ship- 
board not being of good quality, and exhausted at that). But said 
crackers on scanty allowance will last but ten days, and we are 
1,300 miles from New York. The "cans," too, are few, and all 
that we saw before us was ship biscuit, soaked, and arrow root 
(of which latter there is not a great quantity). To people so 
weak as we (though the strongest, I doubt not, would kick at such 
fare more than we poor, chastened invalids) this diet would be 
highly injurious ; and when I know so well Mr. K.'s weak and 
exhausted condition, I fear even that the consequences will be 
most serious. * * * We have desired the captain to go into 
Bermudas, which he richly deserves to do for the carelessness 
with which he has provided for sick people, whose wants were 
simple, but imperative. There is a tradition among missionaries 
in Shanghai that Boston ships are worse stored, and Yankee cap- 
tains less kind and attentive, than those furnished and owned in 
New York generally. I am sorry for the sake of such a " glo- 
rious land" as that of the "Pilgrims," that my experience can 
offer nothing against this. 

May 2, 9 a. m. — My dear, dear brother : Here we are, grate- 
ful, I trust, to the Giver of every good for all His numberless 
blessings. Own sisters and brothers could not have given us a 
warmer welcome than we have here, and words cannot begin to 
tell how great is the satisfaction of being here. Our calms and 
short provisions have cost me unspeakable anxiety on his account ; 
he looked so drooping, and I felt he could never stand reduction 
of our poor fare. But we are brought in safety. Much love to 
Lizzie and Bel. Write at once to your ever-affectionate sister, 

Caroline P. Keith. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 277 

Mr. and Mrs. Keith spent just two years in America ; in New 
York and Brooklyn and neighborhood, in Massachusetts, in Ver- 
mont, in New Jersey, in Virginia, in Pennsylvania (at some min- 
eral springs), and during the last portion of the time Mrs. Keith 
was ten weeks at a water-cure establishment in Saratoga, N. Y. 
Change of scene and residence and habits of living probably 
effected less for the improvement of their health than a different 
course, if adopted at the first, would have done. Such was their 
own conviction during the last of their stay. They, however, left 
America on their return in a much better condition of body than 
when they stepped upon its shores. 

TO HER NIECE, ISABEL CAROLINE TENNEY. 

Cold Spring, L. L, Oct. 20, 1857. 

My beloved Child : I am glad of a season of quiet, at length, 
that I may sit down and have a comfortable chat with you before 
you take flight for a new home [a school at Worcester, Mass.]. 
Since I wrote to your father, I have made a visit of a week in 
New York. * * * Besides these meetings [of the Board of 
Missions] and interviews with old friends, there was nothing pleas- 
ant in New York. It is the most dismal of places ; ruin hangs 
over the heads of all, and dismay is knocking at every heart. My 
spirits and my health suffered, for there is no one who does not, in 
some respect, feel the influence, if not the pressure, of these " hard 
times." Just now, we are surrounded with everything to please 
the eye, gratify the taste, conduce to comfort, and improve the 
health. The dash of the waters, the music of the woods, the 
breath of the sea, and of the forest-clad hills, all these meet here, 
and give a sense of enjoyment one does not often experience. 
Then, every fine day, we take a drive through pleasant scenery, 
and a pony is at Mr. Keith's command for horseback exercise. 
The dear friend from whose kindness and affection we receive so 
much to give us pleasure and to benefit our health, is one who 
loves us for Christ's and for our work's sake, for I had not the 
claims of friendship before I left for China. Therefore it is that 
I count these present enjoyments, now around us, as well as num- 
berless ones I have received previously in China and in this coun- 
try, as a part of the " hundredfold in this present life," which is 
promised by my gracious Master to those who have left what was 
dear to them, for His sake. How richly and abundantly have I 
been blessed for every sacrifice, and I am ashamed that my heart 
should ever know other emotions than those of perfect trust, of 



278 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

deepest gratitude and warmest love ; that I should ever doubt, or 
fear, or question the ways of Him whose name is Love. 

While in New York, I sent you three papers. I hope they 
will interest you, for I trust you will early learn to give your sym- 
pathies to every good work, while not forgetting also " to show 
piety at home." I shall feel anxious for your utmost progress and 
improvement at school, and after you are fairly settled and at 
work there, I shall expect you to write me very particularly. 
But while I am desirous for your progress in knowledge, and, as 
you know, very solicitous for the formation early of a thoroughly 
lady-like deportment and manner, I am still more anxious that you 
should unceasingly and most carefully cultivate all that is lovely 
and lovable in heart and feeling. Let me repeat the word " cul- 
tivate," dear Isabel, because no excellence, much less moral excel- 
lence, comes without toil and care. Above all, do this in the fear 
of God, looking for His help and blessing. You will not think 
you are too young to enter seriously upon the fulfilment of life's first 
and highest duties, when you remember that your departed mother, 
when but a few months older than you now are, had given her 
warm affection to her Savior, and chosen his service forever. I am 
sure that your father could join me in witnessing that her constant 
desire and prayer was that " Isabel might be good," might be " a 
useful woman," " beloved " and " a blessing to others." These 
are words I have often heard fall from her lips in regard to you, 
and she never seemed to me for one hour to forget that you were 
intrusted to her to train for eternity. I hope and I believe, dear 
Isabel, that you will think seriously of these things, and earnestly 
seek for help from above to enable you to choose the way of life. 
If I seem to write too seriously, it is because I know so well how 
serious is life, and because it is an eventful hour of your life, when 
you first go out, even for a few months, to share in scenes and 
trials altogether new. But, though I speak of life as serious, let 
it not sadden you, or cast a shadow over the future you see open- 
ing before you, for there are ways of pleasantness and paths of 
peace, that grow smoother and brighter as years pass away. 
Ponder, therefore, the path of your feet, and so shall your goings 
be established. Remember whose pure eye, whose heart of love 
watches over you, and listen to the wise voice that invites and 
calls, " Son, daughter, give me thine heart." 

October 22d. — To-morrow will be twenty years since I left 
school at Derry. The event appears to me to have happened in 
some previous lifetime, so dreamy is the recollection of those days, 
so bright to me. 

Good-by, my dear Isabel. Your uncle sends his love, and 
we shall hope to hear from you soon. Ever your affectionate 

Aunt Caroline. 






MISSIONARY LIFE. 279 



TO HER BROTHER. 

Alexandria, Va., Feb. 25, 1858. 
* * * * 



"We beg your pardon for not sooner alluding to F. "W. Robert- 
son's Sermons, which you presented me. Mr. Keith admired the 
beauty of the ideas very much ; but thought the writer was fol- 
lowing the leadings of his own mind, rather than developing what 
was in the texts, and that he was not a safe guide to the unwary ; 
but he enjoyed reading the book very much. I believe I found 
less fault than Mr. K., for I met with so many animating and 
refreshing thoughts, that I could not call up the criticizing temper. 
I remember thinking his sermon on the sympathy of Christ as 
peculiarly engaging. I recollect thinking, when reading, what he 
had to say of the suffering of Christ, that if he did not bring out 
all which the Scriptures plainly teach, his manner of treating the 
subject was yet very affecting and solemn, and more to my taste 
and feeling than the teaching of some who are wise beyond what 
is written, and who lay down for facts of Bible teaching, the old 
dogmas of musty theological books. For me there is no rest, but 
in and on the Bible. I have no patience to listen to those who 
are wise beyond what is written, and who understand a great deal 
thaMhe Bible leaves unexplained, or even entirely in the dark. 

When I open the Bible, sin is the first fact of human history ; 
as I go on, sin is the great fact of human life ; as I come to the 
gospel, I find it was sin that brought the Son from the glory 
which he had with the Father, down to this suffering world, and I 
find that the sum of the good news which the apostles perilled 
their lives to proclaim was that the dead in sin might live through 
Christ. I find sin the great burden of my own life ; I find sin the 
constant subject of humble confession in the services of our church, 
and I see sin to be that which crushes and degrades mankind. I 
would as soon attempt to move a mountain with my feeble hand 
as touch the heart and move the will by some mere presentation 
of truth ; much less, then, by such preaching as Unitarianism legiti- 
mately forms. It does seem to me that Unitarian people (guided, 
I suppose, by their weekly preaching) go on indulging in their 
own idea of what they think is about the most sensible thing, and 
then (some of them, I know) are so little conversant with the 
Bible, that they think, of course, it is all there ; or, if they should 
be mistaken, sincerity will make it all right. Am I unfair in thus 
saying ? I know there is selfishness, deadness, ignorance, and all 
that, in the most orthodox of churches. I know and I deplore the 
worldliness of the Episcopal Church, drawing, as by the force of 
circumstances it must, the fashionable and rich, and men of mere 



280 MKMOIR OF MRS. KEITIT. 

taste. All this and more I know, but each Sunday the congrega- 
tion must hear, not ten verses, or some choice chapter, but large 
portions of Scripture ; and even if the minister should be a man of 
wood, the Bible and the liturgy speak for themselves, and keep 
the truth before the mind and heart. 

TO THE SAME. 

Alexandria, Va., April 5, 1858. 

My dear Brother : Yours, addressed to me at Petersburgh, 
was duly received. Since then we have been " away down " to 
King George. * * * 

With much of your letter, of course, I cannot go along ; and 
yet I doubt not that in the most ultra parts there would be found 
more agreement, in fact, than the words indicate. On one point 
I have long held views kindred to your own (although I speak 
and think as I do about confession, and by confession I mean the 
wholesomeness and propriety of keeping in view and of confessing 
sins and sinfulness), viz. : " the dwelling on sin, the anatomizing, 
the intensifying the feelings with respect to sinfulness, and the 
making pardon the only desideratum, are not conducive to forming 
the highest order of character." It has ever been a favorite idea 
witli me that there should be higher aspiration (you see, I can use 
that word), more up-looking, and, by the way, I may mention' that 
it is one reason of my partiality to the Episcopal Church, that its 
teachings are more objective and practical than those of some 
others I could mention, less speculative, less dogmatic. And, 
thinking as I do about human sinfulness, I would be glad to hear 
more faithful preaching about " sins " (as you suggest) ; they are 
connected, I think, as the root and the branches. I would like to 
hear more, and to see that Christians felt more their high commis- 
sion to labor for their Master, to give themselves to his service 
really ; not selfishly sitting down, content with the hope of their 
own salvation, and merely sighing over others, who are spiritually 
hungry and thirsty and naked. And this inert selfishness of 
human nature in spite of all that should animate, is, to me, one 
of the blackest of sins. 



When a child, I read and heard about missionaries, and there, 
in the quiet corner of the fireside, while you were at school, and 
perhaps poring over Latin and Greek, I had my dreams. Use- 
fulness was the noblest idea I had. I cannot remember when I 
had it not. Sometimes I would think of you as a minister, and I 
helping you in your parish work — sometimes of myself as a min- 
ister's wife ; but the highest idea then was to be a missionary's 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 281 

wife, for I then did not know of any other way in which a woman 
could be a missionary. I had a schoolmate or two who were to go 
to the Indians. I thought of it as something I would like to do. 
Ambition of more worldly hues afterward painted the future ; but 
usefulness was always the staple coloring, so that, when a minister, 
in 1845, said to me, "I should think you would think of the mis- 
sionary field," the words were unheeded. To be frank, I believe I 
had high notions of what I might do in the refined and civilized 
world around me. By a succession of providential circumstances, I 
was led to enter the Episcopal Church, and then to drink a bitter 
cup which my own folly had prepared. But God blessed that bn> 
terness — in very faithfulness he afflicted me. As I look back upon 
those hours in lonely, lonely King George, I deem them spiritually 
among the most precious of my life. It ever strengthens my faith 
to remember, surely — but those hours are too sacred, I cannot un- 
veil them. It was during the years 1848 and 1849, for at least 
a year previous to my coming North, that I meditated the ques- 
tion of personal interest in a missionary life. Do you ask me the 
thoughts that suggested themselves and influenced my course ? 
"Well, I was chastened sore, I was like a weaned child, I longed 
for more consecration to the only service that satisfies and rewards 
the soul. How shall I accomplish this ? And what has been the 
discipline of Providence, and to what does it point me ? I had been 
sobered, as I said, I had been trained to loneliness and to con- 
siderable self-dependence. I had few friends to bind me to life. 
My only brother was of views so different from mine, that I could 
never spend my life in active usefulness in unison with him. 
These are circumstances to be considered when I look at the last 
command of Christ, and reflect that, upon the Christian church in 
general, and some of the members in particular, rests the duty of 
going to the heathen. I spoke of it to Mr. Blodgett. He said only 
this, " It is a good work, Phebe, and I will bid you God speed, but 
I would rather you went out married. I wish no better thing 
than that all my children were good missionaries." Then I went 
to see Dr. Lewis, in order to see the committee. I felt that by 
long years of successive disappointments, God called me to His 
better service, and the heathen called in vain. One missionary 
Bishop had been for a year and a half calling in vain. The dis- 
tress of parting with you, none but God knows ; for I did not allow 
my thoughts to dwell on such themes, and I bore up cheerfully. 
For your sake I sorrowed most, and had I foreseen the events of 
1850, of course, the duty would have been an indefinite delay. I 
think, indeed, that the teachings and life of Mr. Blodgett made 
those impressions on me, gave me those ideas of duty and devoted- 
ness which were the first threads in the web of my missionary 



282 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

character (if such a figure is allowable), but that was in 1834 and 
1835. Had I my life to live over again, it seems to me that I 
should take the same views of duty abstractly and in the concrete. 
True, I have had my trials there, and some of them almost too 
much for me ; but I have ever felt that as to myself I realized the 
" hundredfold," and I hope I have not labored entirely in vain. 
This is an attempt to tell you how I came to be a missionary, and 
I feel it to be very imperfect. But this I know, that, if I were 
not a missionary, I would become so as soon as I could, and if not 
to the heathen, then to the poor and miserable of our own cities. 
It is the shame of the Christian church of this age that there is so 
little self-denial, so little given to Him who gave Himself for us, 
so much luxury, so much profession, and so few deeds. We talk 
of light, and that we are blessed with the gospel, and yet how few 
rise up to carry it to others — while thousands are ready to go to 
deadly climes for gain ! 

TO MRS. SUMNER. 

Epping, H. N., Oct. 5, 1868. 
****** 

You say of yourself) " My faith in God and man is enlarged, 
vivified, and exalted, since we two parted." I, too, may say this 
as it respects God. He appears to me more and more the all in 
all ; but of man, his weakness, his treachery, his falsehood, his 
sinfulness, my belief (because of experience and observation) in 
these is deepened in a tenfold degree. Not that there are not 
good qualities, as we may term them, in any and every one, nor 
that there are not high aspirations and even aims, but there is 
always some weak, if not some rotten spot, where temptation 
begins to work, and the reed upon which we leaned, the fair 
(moral) being that we reverenced, is broken and ruined, and with 
the rum, alas ! is buried that buoyant hopefulness which makes 
the youthfulness of life. Now I hear you say, " That is her reli- 
gion." No, I insist it is observation and experience, combined 
with my temperament, which is so different from yours ; though the 
Bible, I think, in its pictures of human nature and human life, 
sanctions my view. 

****** 

You ask me what I have read, thought, and felt in this my 
dear native country ? The answer to the question would take a 
long time, even to the small hours of night. I have not read 
much, from scarcity of books, and my constant impression is, how 
little people read ! except, indeed, the newspapers and the trifling 
magazines. Serious books, and those for the real culture of the 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 283 

mind (history especially), are almost utterly neglected. I find 
myself (although so long an exile) greatly in advance as to reading 
in comparison with most of the greatest readers among my friends. 
And yet I am greatly deficient as to things I want to know, for 
want of opportunity. 

****** 

Good-by. I hate to stop writing, for it seems like a separa- 
tion. God bless you ever, my dear friend. Love me always, 
and believe me ever yours, faithfully and affectionately, in the 
East or in the West, Caroline P. Keith. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Saratoga "Water Cure, Jan. 31, 1859. 

My dear Brother : Yours of the 13th inst. came in due 
time, and arrived one evening after I had gone to bed. I was 
wise enough not to ask who the letter was from that night, so that 
the next morning, when Mr. Keith arose, and before I had col- 
lected my senses, the good news was read to me. It is to me 
trebly good for yours and Lizzie's and Isabel's sake. To me, 
perhaps, he will always be a stranger. I am glad you retained 
the name of " William." 

****** 

If I had all my original strength, I feel as though I could now 
do a great deal for China in several ways ; but with the portion I 
have left, I can do more perhaps than I have previously done, 
because I know better how to act to advantage. 

This wandering life has made me realize more than perhaps 
any previous part of it, that this life is but a journey, and we are 
pilgrims and strangers upon the earth. But I have a sweet com- 
panion. I feel that I cannot sufficiently thank God for such an 
one to cheer the way. I suppose it is not an uncommon expe- 
rience of people happily married, that they grow nearer to each 
other. Certainly, each succeeding year shows me more my hus- 
band's value ; and if I have known now for long years what it is 
to be an invalid, his tender care has almost made me forget the 
weariness that belongs to that word. 

TO MRS. CHARLOTTE (GOODRIDGE) SMITH. 

New York City, March 26, 1859. 
****** 

And here, dear Charlotte, I must tell you of God's goodness 
to me the past winter, for who knows what our life shall be, and 
what a day shall bring forth ? This may be my last letter to you, 



284 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

and I must testify to the grace of my Redeemer ; but oh ! where 
shall I begin ? 

You remember, perhaps (for if I am not greatly mistaken, I 
wrote you about it), how much interest I felt, years ago, in 
Upham's " Interior Life," and in the views there developed, and, 
as I thought, sustained. I wrote you, also, of the rich experience I 
had, through faith in my powerful and present Savior, on the ship, 
as I was going to China. You must have noted, too, how I lost 
my joys, and dwelt in darkness, and became lean. You must 
have been disappointed, too, in meeting me, that I had no Savior 
to speak of, the Savior who had led me, and had so revealed 
Himself to me. "Well, I could wish to see you and tell you all 
that past, to magnify the patience and goodness of my God. But 
it is too late for this, and I can only say that God has again (oh ! 
the wonders of His grace), as it were, prepared me for His work 
by giving me the same faith and the same victory, the same con- 
secration and the same trust. During the weeks of my quiet 
retreat at Water Cure, I drew near to God, I brought Him all 
my sin and misery and wants, and He drew near the prodigal and 
gave that prodigal the best robe. Yes, in the old way of faith I 
again sought, and again found Christ unto me as " wisdom and 
righteousness and sanctification and redemption." The blood of 
Jesus Christ u cleanseth from all sin," not in an imputed, but in a 
real sense, and looking to that Savior moment by moment, yea, 
rather abiding in Christ, and He abiding in me, I am kept from 
falling. Dear Charlotte, study the Scriptures with this subject in 
view ; learn how Christ is received by faith, dwelling in us for 
sanctification, just as He is at first by faith for justification. " As 
ye have received, so walk." How did you receive ? Did not His 
fulness take possession of your poverty ? Oh, that the church 
should be so generally stopping at the 7th chapter of Romans, and 
not triumphing in the 8th. This is the glory of our religion, 
Jesus came to — do what ? — save his people from the punishment 
of sin ? — no, " from their sins." " What the law could not do, 
&c, God, sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, so 
that the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled " — how ? — in 
him ? — no, "in us." But it is Christ in us ; all the glory is His. 

And now, dear Charlotte, take my last testimony. Christ 
saves from sin, here. He fills the heart with that love which is 
the fulfilling of the law. He is able to do above all we ask or 
think. Oh ! would we not ask to be saved from sinning against 
Him day by day ? And what a weight is lifted off the soul by 
this faith ! how it inspires with strength to do His will ! I should 
love to write pages, but must not. Read Upham, read the Bible 
with reference to this subject, and see how great things are pro- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 285 

vided for us. Shall we not take them ? Oh ! I cannot in words 
express the sense of my sin in living as I have done, when nine 
years ago I saw, and for a little while enjoyed, the fulness of this 
salvation ; God enable me to redeem the time. I have read 
Boardman's Higher Life. I do not think he is bold enough for 
the truth ; but his book will do good. Remember me very kindly 
to your husband : I am thankful for his prayers and yours. We 
have a glorious work, a glorious field, and how much more a truly 
glorious Master. Mr. Keith also desires kind remembrance. I 
shall try to write you from China as I have heretofore. God 
bless you in all things. Finally, farewell, " be perfect," " be of 
good comfort," " and the God of peace be with you." Ever yours 
in the best love, Caroline. 

TO MRS. SUMNER. 

New York City, April 27, 1859. 

My dear Mrs. Sumner : Your New- Year's letter found me 
the inmate of a water cure establishment at Saratoga. The more 
than a year and a halfs sojourn in America had resulted in no 
permanent and radical benefit. I was not, indeed, the weak, 
wretched invalid of my last summer in China ; but beyond the 
rally of my first three months in America I did not pass. Every 
mental effort, even letter-writing, was fatiguing to me, and I could 
never promise myself a night free from fever and restlessness. 
But with all this there was the old story, " rest, change, diet, 
exercise." In December last I fortunately got worse, and a con- 
stant and violent distress drove me to the water cure as my last 
hope. I remained there ten weeks only, and I have now been in 
New York more than six weeks preparing for our voyage. And 
I feel myself once more in health — -blessed word ! I am little, if 
anything less strong than ever ; I feel even the exuberance of 
health ; but I suppose that I could not endure the intemperate 
labor in which in my past life I used to feel free to indulge, at 
every emergency. So much for my health. Mr. Keith, too, is 
restored ; but not quite so perfectly as myself. He was at the 
water cure but five weeks. "We propose continuing the treat- 
ment as circumstances may require, after we get to China, and we 
hope by this means to preserve our health even in China. And 
now you will say, not " alas," but " God speed," for China now 
opens all her doors and invites the missionaries. 

****** 

I may use your quotation from Hugh Miller, " We are living, 
we are wakening in the twilight dawn of the Sabbath era of God 
and man, and He calls us to worship and to labor." We go, 



286 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

then, more than joyfully for Christ's sake, for our brother's sake, 

and we know who has said, " Lo, I am with you alway, even unto 

the end of the world ; " yea, He is with us to the ends of the 

earth. Our visit has been to me full of interest, only diminished 

by the indifferent health of my husband and myself for the largest 

part of the time. I have felt my mind quickened and expanded, 

my heart moved and enlarged, my soul elevated, and I hope 

refined by the thousand influences, and especially by the blessing 

of God upon these, which have been around and upon me. I 

have felt, painfully, the truth of your remark, " Our sisters seem to 

feel, and think, and read less wisely and judiciously and profoundly 

than they ought." Again you say, " You will refresh your mind 

and heart from all the churches." I should love to describe to 

you some of the meetings I have been in, among Presbyterians, 

Dutch Reformed, Methodists, Congregationalists. I love my church 

most dearly, but I love all who love my Savior. " One in Christ 

Jesus." I feel no party fetters ; and in love, heaven is begun on 

earth. 

****** 

I have sent you my face ; — would you know it ? They say it 
looks too old, but I shall soon catch up ; all those photographs 
give a grim look. 

My love to your aunt and uncle, and to Grandmother Baird, 
and to all who have interest in me. I could have wished for a 
nice visit with you. I do not look forward to another visit to the 
United States. God knows, but the hopes for the eternal home 
and joys grow brighter and sweeter every day. All intercourse 
here is so imperfect, that I can with more patience wait to see 
those I love in the better land. Yet life's joys, when tinged with 
the light of hope from eternity, through Christ, are very sweet. 
To-day is the fifth anniversary of my marriage, which has made 
me forget the lonely feeling that used to be a part of my existence. 
I have often been impatient with the training my Divine Teacher 
prepared for me ; but it was all right. I now bless Him for it. 
How wonderful is His patience. — I should like to write four times 
as much, but have many others to whom I must say last words. 
I am glad to know that peace and happiness and comfort are 
yours. Think of me and love me, even as I do you. Farewell, 
from your faithful and affectionate friend, 

Caroline P. Keith. 

TO DENNISON W. OSBORNE. 

New York, April 30, 1S59. 

Dear Cousin Dennison : I have been intending these two 
weeks to write and acknowledge Almira's letter, and to give yon 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 287 

notice of our intended departure ; but I have been so constantly 

engaged, that it is only at the last moment I have found the time. 

****** 

Bemember me affectionately to every one of your family, espe- 
cially to uncle and aunt. Should any of you see Charlotte, give 
my parting salutations to her. I trust the lives of your parents 
may be prolonged these many years ; but I can scarcely expect to 
see them again in this world. 

And now, my dear cousin, I want to thank you again for all 
your kind consideration for me. You know how sincerely I appre- 
ciate all the kindness of the past and the kindly feeling of the 
present. I have one wish for you. You know what it is : 
" Prove all things, hold fast that which is good." 

Commending you all to God, and with the same affectionate 
remembrance, I remain, ever, faithfully, your cousin, 

Caroline P. Keith. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

New York, April 30, 1859. 

My dear Brother : I sit down to begin my last letter to you 
before sailing. All our things are on board. We are now in 
excellent health, and can read and study with pleasure and profit. 
****** 

"We go, counting it all joy, and joying most in this, that 
whether we live, we live unto the Lord ; and whether we die, we 
die unto the Lord ; so that, living or dying, we are the Lord's. 
The duties of this life, and the nearness of a future, and better, 
become constantly more real, and I have never before so much 
and so constantly realized that I work " under the great Task- 
master's eye." Very many and very great have been the bless- 
ings of our sojourn in America, and now we go forth again, re- 
joicing, trusting in Him who has hitherto led us and kept us. 
With our warmest love and prayers for you all, Lizzie, Isabel, and 
you, my dear brother, and with fond hopes for the health and life 
of the little one, I am as ever, your affectionate sister, 

Caroline P. Keith. 

New York Bay, Noon, May Uh, 1859. — Farewell, my dear 
brother. This world has its brightness ; but the shadow of pain 
and parting hangs over all, from the cradle to the grave. There 
is rest, there is certainty, there is no pain, in heaven. There, 
though divided on earth, may we meet and be satisfied in the like- 
ness of Christ. Again, love to all. Farewell. Your ever affec- 
tionate sister, Caroline. 



288 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO THE SAME. 

China Sea, off the Ananibas Islands. ) 
August 17, 1859. J 

My dear Brother : "When I tell you that this is the first 
time I have summoned resolution to take my pen, you will under- 
stand at once that my condition has been decidedly " below par ; " 
even now it seems so little a reality to be expected that we should 
ever get to Hong Kong, that the interest of writing is sensibly 
diminished. We are now seven days from Angier (toward Hong 
Kong), a stopping-place fifty miles E. of " Java head," where we 
stopped one day to renew supplies of water, chickens, potatoes, 
yams, &c, and we have gained only 700 miles. The heat is by 
therm. 85°, by feeling 100° ; nor can we expect it to be less 
before we come to Hong Kong, which is still distant 1,200 miles. 

Fifteen long weeks ago we came on board the ship " S. H. 
Talbot." It was dirty, and the knives, plates, &c, nearly turned 
my stomach for the first few days. It has been said, however, 
(though I doubt if with truth,) that " dirt never killed any body." 
The cook was but indifferent ; and the stewardess, his wife, still 
more shiftless and lazy. * * * The water, which from the 
first had been of a disagreeable taste, became so nauseous for the 
last two of the five weeks we were in getting to the equator, that 
I could not even drink the tea that was made with it. I tried 
coffee twice ; but that gave me a violent headache and nausea. 
My only alternative was to put a great deal of claret and sugar 
with the water, and then hold my breath so as not to smell it, till 
I had swallowed my dose. Neither could we wash in it for the 
last few weeks ; for the last few days of these five weeks I could 
not even bear the water in our room, the stench was so strong. 
The reason was that the water had been put into port wine casks, 
which, I do not believe, had ever been rinsed out ! You will ask, 
whose fault was this ? The answer is : not the owner's, certainly ; 
how could it be the owner's ? Not the captain's ; how could it be 
the captain's ? for he was off at his home in Plymouth till after all 
this was done ; how should it be the captain's business ? It is the 
business of the first mate to have the water stowed ; but, overrun 
with business, how should he be able to see whether the casks are 
fit or unfit. Of course, how could he ? Of course, then, it is 
Mr. Nobody's fault, though our misfortune. When I asked the 
captain what was the cause of the water being so (for I had not 
then ascertained), his answer was, " I have seen a great deal 
worse water than this on board ship." Precious comfort! but any 
man, whose mouth is soaked with tobacco almost all the twenty- 
four hours, cannot rightly tell the taste of food, much less of so 
delicate an article as water. * * * 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 289 

Added to our natural discomfort was my fever, my skin 
parched and burning, and no water to cool my tongue or brow. 
I thought of the poor wretches, who so often are taken in chains 
across these calm equatorial regions from Africa, and, dead from 
thirst and sickness, are thrown overboard ; but such thoughts did 
not alleviate our distresses. I remembered that St. Paul was in 
hunger and weariness often, and in peril on the deep ; but that 
did not give me patience to bear the suffering caused by the care- 
lessness of man. I thought of Him, who bore all our " sorrows," 
and by His grace only was kept from wretched despair, for I 
knew not but this trial was to last to China, and I saw not how 
we could live through it. The captain was a kind of grum man, 
and said very little, and nobody could tell whether he was in a 
pleased mood or otherwise. The suffering of thirst in sickness pro- 
tracted day after day, and unalleviated, is what few are called to 
make acquaintance with. 

One day some clear, fine water was brought. I felt like 
Hagar in the wilderness. From this time there was tolerably 
good water, and there had been no need of our having the bad. 

At last we got the "Trades," south of the equator; but they 
had so much " easting " that it drove us much nearer Cape St. 
Roque than was desirable. 

Sailing as close as we could to the wind, and the consequent 
pitching motion, gave me a constant headache, but my fever was 
less than it was north of the equator. "With a wet towel on my 
head, and reclining on the sofa, I was able to read Chinese some 
hours a day. 

From June 30th we had one continued storm for one month. 
It was not possible to sit or lie quietly, and the storms confined us 
below. July 1st and 2d, the ship took over water, so that it 
surged and rushed from side to side in the outer house. The sanre 
one who stowed the water having so stowed the casks that the 
scuppers were filled up, and the water could not escape. It came 
half way up our dining room, and I fully expected to see it in our 
own cabin and state room. I shall never forget those fearful 
nights and days. The water-casks got loose, and several were 
stove in pieces. The water leaked into our cabin always when it 
rained, and when the waves dashed to a certain height. Mr. 
Keith was obliged to' wear rubbers all the time, and I also, when 
I stepped out of my berth. My berth was my place of refuge at 
all times ; and, bolstered up there, I managed to read some Chi- 
nese and other books. Several days, however, my reading was by 
lamp-light, as our window had to be closed by a shutter to keep 
out the water. For a whole month our state room was at best as 
wet as though just washed up and not wiped much, and in this 
13 



290 MEMOIK OF MRS. KEITH. 

place, wet or dry, we were obliged to sleep, often with our bed 
damp, for the water leaked upon it in three places. During one 
of the lulls of our month of storms I observed the captain look 
excessively anxious, and have some words in a low tone with the 
mate. At length, after a week's interval, it was confessed that 
our water-casks had been so badly stowed, so knocked about in 
the storm, that many had leaked out all their contents, besides the 
ones that were " stove in pieces." We must, therefore, use as 
little water as possible. After a few days more, the ship was put 
on allowance, and then how anxiously we looked for Angier, then 
2,500 miles distant. In our progress thither we had repeated 
calms, and in our last calm, four or five hundred miles distant, we 
had begun on our last cask of water. Oh, you know not how long 
those two weeks were, and how anxious those hours of calm. The 
allowance was three quarts for each person ; that is, a pint mug of 
tea twice a day, and two tumblers of water besides ; the re3t for 
cooking. All these excitements and anxieties, especially the fear 
our supply of water should fail us under the burning zone, had left 
me but few, I might almost say no, nights of natural sleep. To 
the weary, anxious, fevered days, have been added the fevered 
tossings by night. " Nux " has been my main dependence for 
sleep ; but this often failed. "We reached Angier 10th inst. We 
had been without eggs since crossing the equator in the Atlantic ; 
without fresh meats, except preserved ones, since about 25° S. At- 
lantic ; without white sugar a long while ; without potatoes several 
weeks ; the hominy had long since become sour, the rice had long 
been musty, the bread, you remember, always sour — so you may 
imagine our bill of fare. At Angier we took a supply of chickens, 
yams, sweet potatoes, a few bananas, and pine-apples. It seemed 
to me I could not get enough to eat for the first two days after 
we got to Angier ; but the water we took in there has already 
become offensive. We are to-day (August 18th) at least 1,200 
miles from Hong Kong. ■ 

Thus we have been brought so far through dangers, seen and 
unseen. We shall have the most abundant cause for thankfulness, 
if brought safe to our journey's end, like the poor old woman, 
who gained her livelihood by the hardest labor, had a cruel, lazy, 
drunken husband, had lost many children, and had suffered much 
from sickness. She was always saying she had more reason for 
gratitude than any body else in the world, u because she had been 
carried through so many troubles ! " 

Friday, Sept. 9th, Hong Kong. — We arrived here in safety 

31st ult. 

****** 

I am going to send you a copy of a hymn of Gill's, you may 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 291 

not have seen. I admire it the most of any of his which I have 
seen. Give my love to Lizzie and Isabel. I will write them 
from Shanghai. With love, as ever, C. 

On the inside of the envelope to the above letter, the hymn 
by Gill, just referred to, was copied at length. It is as follows. 
Emphasizing ink-marks were placed by her to the last stanza but 
one: 

"SERVING GOD. 

" 0, not to fill the voice of fame, 
My longing soul is stirred, 
0, give me a diviner name, 
Call me thy servant, Lord. 

" Sweet title that delighteth me, 
Bank earnestly implored ; 
0, what can reach my dignity ? 
I am thy servant, Lord ! 

" No longer would my soul be known, 
As self-sustained and free ; 
0, not my own, oh, not my own, 
Lord, I belong to Thee. 

" In each aspiring burst of prayer, 
Sweet leave my soul would ask, 
Thine every burden, Lord, to bear, 
To do thine every task. 

" For ever, Lord, thy servant choose, 
Naught of thy claim abate ; 
The glorious name I would not lose, 
Nor change the sweet estate. 

" In life, in death, in earth, in heaven, 
No other name for me ; 
The same sweet style and title given, 
Through all eternity." 

Mr. and Mrs. Keith remained at Hong Kong three weeks, and 

arrived at Shanghai October 19, nearly six months after leaving 
New York. 



292 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Dee. 21, 1859. 
****** 

My health has been improving ever since we got to Shanghai. 
Mr. Keith, too, is gaining ; and I am doing all I can for him in 
the way of good housekeeping. * * * 

We feel as if we could not be thankful enough for our restored 
health. Mr. K. is studying, and I have my day school again. I 
have not begun to study yet, and do not intend to do so for a 
month to come. This is our finest season ; the air is clear, cool 
and bracing ; and I try to make use of it in laying up a store of 
health. Mr. K. studies only three hours a day, and walks a great 
deal. 

We have had very few letters since we came from home. 
Except yours, I have had but two. And, as to writing, I have 
had little time, and do not feel like using up my strength in doing 
it. Besides, my pen seems to have lost what u . cunning" it had. 
The sense, the knowledge, of the indifference of so-called Chris- 
tians to the spread of the gospel among the heathen, is so deep in 
my mind, that it seems to me naught but the persuasiveness of a 
St. Bernard, or the trumpet-tones of a Peter the Hermit, can 
waken the church from its slumbers. 



CHAPTER VI. 

1860—1861. 

Diary— Renewed Alarms and Perils from the Rebels — Letter to her Niece— Report of 
Labors in 1860— Consternation on hearing of the Troubles in America— Embarrass- 
ments of the Mission— Letter to a Friend on professing Christ — " Confirmation"— 
" Prayer "—Letter to a young Friend on her Education— Letter on Complete Sanc- 
tification— The Civil "War in America— Slavery— Matured Views on the best 
Method of Missionary Instruction— Murder of Missionaries— Tribute to Rev. Dr. 
Bridgman— Long and able Letter to her Brother on Theological and Ecclesiastical 
Topics. 

DIARY OF CAROLINE P. KEITH, 1860.» 

" Whebefobe, beloved, seeing ye look for such things, be 
diligent that ye may be found of Him in peace, without spot and 
blameless." — 2 Peter iii. 14. 

[* This fragment of a Diary I find in one of Mrs. Keith's MS. books.] 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 293 

" Blameless ! " what a word ! what a thought ! is it possible ? 
can it be so with weak mortals ? In every relation, in every word, 
act, temper, disposition, motive, plan ? blameless ? how can it be ? 
Oh, thou of little faith, is not the strength of an Almighty Savior 
promised, and has He commanded what He will not enable His 
follower and servant to do ? He could not be so unreasonable. 
A command, therefore, implies a promise. By His strength I 
will be blameless. 

Evening. — " But grow in grace and in the knowledge of our 
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." I cannot grow in grace, unless I 
grow in the knowledge of my Lord, and I cannot grow in knowl- 
edge, unless I take time for meditation. How little time is left 
after all the requirements of the twenty-four hours ! yet I long to 
be more in my closet, that by dwelling upon the charms of the 
adorable Redeemer, I may be changed into the same image. 
Death has come near us and taken a beloved member of our mis- 
sion. I desire to live, so that, if called to go hence ere another 
year closes, I may give up my account with joy and not with 
grief. . 

January 3d, Monday. — " I beseech you, therefore, by the 
mercies of God, that ye present your bodies, a living sacrifice, 
holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service." — Rom. 
xii. 1. 

"Yield yourselves unto God." — Rom. vi. 13. I sought to do 
so yesterday in the most solemn manner, and desire to make it the 
aim of my every hour. 

Evening . — " Be careful for nothing ; but in everything, by 
prayer and supplication, let your requests be made known unto 
God, and the peace of God r which passeth all understanding, shall 
keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus our Lord." I 
have not that peace to-day, for I have been careful and " troubled 
about many things." This must not be, for I cannot live without 
the peace of God. I have this day ardently desired death, if it 
were the will of God, rather than sin against Him. Yet, by the 
depressing, disturbing influence of care, I was overcome by tempta- 
tion. I was deeply distressed ; but, thank God, He gave me to 
see the cause of my fall, and a heart to give up all, even care, to 
Him. Oh, how my soul has been athirst for God this day amid 
the desert of care. I know I shall not thirst in vain. 

January 4tih. — "I would have you without carefulness." 
Blessed privilege ! Truly is it said, " My yoke is easy and my 
burden light." I have found it so easy to-day to give up all care 
and rest in God. But I want to know more of His presence with 
me to hallow my every word and act, and make my life full of 
blessing. 



294 MEMOIR OF MES. KEITH. 

Evening. — " My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God ; 
when shall I come and appear before God?" Blessed be His 
name, it is written " Thou needest Him that rejoiceth and worketh 
righteousness." Thou waitest to bless ; " I shall be satisfied," oh, 
let it be right early, " that I may praise Thy name." I want to 
be filled with the Spirit that I may be a blessing to others. Oh 
God, make me wholly Thine. Make me to know all my duty and 
willing to do it. 

Wednesday, Jan. 5th. — " As many of you, as have been bap- 
tized into Christ, have put on Christ." Have I walked and talked 
like Christ to-day ? 

Thursday 6th. — Col. ii. 6. : " As ye have received the Lord 
Jesus, so walk in Him." Blessed Lord, Thy loving disciples 
receive Thee ! how ? with what love, with what gratitude, with 
what giving up of self, with what sense of weakness, with what 
leaning on Thy strength, with what hatred of sin — sin, that brought 
such suffering to Thee — with what hungerings after righteousness, 
with what longings to be a blessing to others ! Oh, Lord Jesus, 
give me thus to walk before Thee unto all pleasing. 

Evening. — " Redeeming the time," Col. iv. 5. Lord, show 
me, I entreat Thee, how Thou wouldst have me to do this. I 
long to do it, and not fritter away my precious hours in idle con- 
versation and vain occupations. But I fear that a subtle selfish- 
ness may mingle in this, and that I may not give up to others as 
cheerfully as I ought. Lord, enlighten, cleanse, direct and 
bless me. 

Friday 1th. — " Be patient toward all men," 1 Thess. v. 14. 
I have no patience by nature, and grace must, in this matter, do 
all the work. Blessed Lord, let me look at Thy patience and be 
ashamed of my want of that patience, which Thou dost desire to 
see in me. 

2 Cor. iv. 9 : " We are troubled on every side, yet not dis- 
tressed." I am sorry that I have been distressed to-day. Many 
things troubled me, and I longed to flee away and be at rest. Oh, 
God, let me learn to keep that perfect peace of a mind stayed on 
Thee. Some of these things were trifles, and were doubtless 
intended for my discipline. I want to rejoice in Thy will, when 
it crosses my dear wishes and plans ; Thou knowest what is best 
for me. 

Saturday Sth. — "Above all things, put on charity, which is 
the bond of perfectness." Help me, oh compassionate one, to 
love as Thou didst. I want more love to bear tenderly the fail- 
ings and short-comings of others, as well as to love these unfaith- 
ful Chinese. Oh, for a heart of love. 

Saturday Night. — With great difficulty I got to prayer meet- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 295 

ing. It was pleasant, but not free. May the Lord pour out His 
Spirit on all. I came home with a headache, found levity, where 
I thought there should have been seriousness. I felt cross, unhap- 
py, restless, wretched; there is sin somewhere. Lord, show 
me ; Thou knowest I would gladly die to be free from sin ; but 
Thou canst not free me here from "all condemnation." 

Sunday,— Eph. iv. 18 : " Be filled with the Spirit." How 
large this promise ; but I am constrained to cry, my leanness, my 
leanness J 

Sunday Night. — I have been to chapel, school and church to- 
day, but, in the sense of my own emptiness and poverty, could 
only look up and cry, " O God, Thou art my hope and my por- 
tion ! " " "Who is there in Heaven but Thee, and there is none 
on earth I desire in comparison with Thee," 

Monday 10th. — John xvi. 23, 24: " Hitherto ye have asked 
nothing in my name ; ask and receive that your joy may be full." 
Oh, Lord, may we prove this precious, this full promise to-day. 

Night. — It has been a painful day to-day, for it has been 
observed by me, in common with all the missionaries, as a day of 
humiliation and prayer ; and, oh, who can look at their sins and 
not feel wretched, even though there may be the sweet confidence 
that the Lord has put away our sin. Sin — how black it is ! I 
cannot dwell upon it — my sin — against so much light, so much 
grace. Lord, may I never forget, though Thou hast promised to 
remember them no more. 

Tuesday, Jan. 11th. — Maiachi iii. 1, 2. This day has been 
observed as a day of prayer for ministers and missionaries. Oh, 
how much they need a fresh baptism from God, fresh unction from 
the Holy Ghost, the " power " from above, " the tongue of fire." 
How sweet the thought that this day thousands have been praying 
for them. O Lord, Thou art a prayer-hearing God. I have to 
lament that I have neglected to pray for ministers as I ought. 
God helping me, I will henceforth ever be more faithful in this 
duty. 

Wednesday, Jan. 12th. — Maiachi iii. 7 : " Return unto me, 
and I will return unto you, saith the Lord." O God, " to those 
who fall how kind Thou art, how good to those who seek." And 
wilt Thou permit such unworthy children, such faithless servants, 
to draw near ? Wonderful patience and mercy J Yes, we will 
come with glad, yet sorrowing and contrite hearts. To whom can 
we go but unto Thee. Lord, receive us graciously, love us freely, 
hear our prayers, and strengthen us to fight more manfully in Thy 
service. 

Evening. — To-day, foreign residents in heathen lands were to 
be especially remembered. Oh, when shall that saying be ful- 



296 MEMOIR OF SIRS. KEITH. 

filled, Isaiah lix. 13 : "And all Thy children shall be taught of 
the Lord, and great shall be the peace of Thy children ? " 

Thursday, Jan. \Zth. — Service in Trinity Church, prayer to be 
especially for the native converts from among the heathen. Isaiah 
lxii. : " For Zion's sake will I not hold my peace, and for Jerusa- 
lem's sake I will not rest, until the righteousness thereof go forth 
as brightness, and the salvation thereof as a lamp that burnetii." 
Oh, my God, I do this day promise, Thou being my helper, that I 
will pray more for the heathen than I ever yet have done. I 
will heed these words, and daily remind Thee of Zion and Jeru- 
salem. 

Night. — At the Bethel at prayer-meeting — a few sailors and 
nearly all our own mission. 

Friday, 14th. — To-day there is to be special prayer for China, 
with special reference to the present crisis. I have taken for my 
verse, il And give him no rest till He make Jerusalem a praise in 
the earth." — Isaiah lxii. 7. 

Hear this day the prayers of those who, this day, from all 
parts of the world, are crying unto Thee, for Thy name's sake, to 
make Thy power and glory and mercy known among the heathen. 

Night. — Isaiah lx. 5. Oh, God, Thou art faithfulness and 
truth ; we wait for Thee. 

January 15th, Saturday. — John xvii. 21 : " That they all may 
be one, as Thou, Father, art in me, and I in Thee, that they also 
may be in us." To-day there is united prayer for the unity and 
increase of the church. Our Savior has prayed for this ; oh, shall 
not we labor as well as pray that this desirable result may come to 
pass. But it will be, 1 think, not union in one so-called Church, 
mit unity of spirit in one love, one aim, one hope, one joy. 

Night. — John xiv. 14 : "Ask and receive, that your joy may 
be full." Oh, for faith to receive this promise in all its largeness. 
This has been a blessed week to my soul ; but I am weary in 
body, and feel to-night that it will be a sweet release when this 
mortal shall put on immortality. 

Sunday Morn, Jan. 1 6th. — " This is my commandment that 
ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no 
man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." — John 
xv. 12, 13. What a measure of love is here required; yet our 
Master requires no more than He will enable us to perform. Oh, 
to be like Him in this and aJl other graces! "When Christians 
abound in this, then, indeed, will there be " unity and increase " 
in all the Church of Christ. 

Night. — " Unto Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly 
above all that we ask or think, to Him be glory in the Church 
through Christ Jesus, through all ages, world without end." — Eph. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 297 

iii. 20. A delightful sermon from this text, from Mr. Hobson, and 
afterward the Communion to all the missionaries, with a few 
exceptions. It has been a glorious day. Oh, may the fruit be 
seen, not only in its effects among the Chinese, but in the holier 
lives of missionaries ! Oh, dare I to take that promise in all its 
breadth of meaning ! God help me " to live up to all my priv- 
ileges." 

January 17 th, Monday. — "As ye have received the Lord 
Jesus, so ought ye to walk," or, to quote accurately, 1 Thess. iv. 1 : 
u We beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, 
that, as ye have received of us, how ye ought to walk and to 
please God, so ye would abound more and more." Let this be 
my motto, henceforth. I trust I know how I " ought to walk ; " 
may I be so faithful to the grace offered, that I may indeed abound 
more and more. May I be self-denying, gentle, meek, loving, 
pure, prayerful, like my Master. 

Night. — " Without faith it is impossible to please God." 
Help me, therefore, oh my Father, according to Thy command. — 
Eph. vi. 16 : " Above all taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye 
shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked." The 
promises of God are exceeding great and exceeding precious. I 
thirst to know more of them, as fulfilled in a blessed experience ; 
but I must have more faith. Mine is very feeble, and why should 
it be so ? 

Tuesday, Jan. 18th. — "0 woman, great is thy faith; be it 
unto thee according to thy word." " Lord, I believe ; help Thou 
mine unbelief." " Jesus, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me," 
have mercy on Thy people, have mercy on this land. 0, I have 
much to ask ; but I pray for greater enlargedness of soul. 

Night. — Col. i. 2 : " Strengthened with all might, according to 
His glorious power." His power ! oh, that it might be so, then 
shall my perfect weakness rejoice in Thy strength alone. Have 
been to ladies' prayer-meeting to-day. The subject for reading 
was " wandering in prayer." Lord, teach me in this matter what 
is sin, and help me to depart from all sin. I cannot think that 
God looks upon all these wandering thoughts as sins. Oh, my 
Father, where Thou hast not condemned me, let me not take on 
the burden, but let me be honest before Thee, and spare no sin, 
faithfully striving in all things to die to sin. 

Wednesday, Jan. l§th. — "Be clothed with humility." Lord, 
let this prayer come before Thee, that thus I may glorify my 
Father in Heaven, and adorn the doctrine of my Savior. If I am 
humble, it is all of grace ; but I desire more and more perfectly to 
understand and practise the injunction, " in lowliness of mind let 
each esteem other better than himself." 
18* 



298 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

Night. — Thou shalt in any wise reprove a brother, and not 
suffer sin upon him. Blessed Master, let thy spirit enlighten and 
guide me in this duty. 

Thursday Morning, 20th. — Rom. xii. 14 : " But put ye on the 
Lord Jesus, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfil the lusts 
thereof." Blessed Master, teach me how to do this. My soul 
does, indeed, long to be made in thy moral image. Oh let thine 
amazing grace so work, powerfully, deeply in me, that I may be 
able to obey this command to put on the Lord Jesus. Think 
what it is ! His purity, His gentleness, His meekness, His pa- 
tience, His compassion, His condescension, His love for men, His 
submissiveness, His zeal for His Heavenly Father's glory. O my 
Father, work in me to will and to do of Thy good pleasure ! 

Night. — Matthew xi. 30 : " My yoke is easy and my burden 
light." Let this be my only yoke ; may I be freed from the 
chain of sin and the yoke of Satan, and rest in the service of the 
best of masters. 

Friday, Jan. 2lst. — Lord, let my faith so conquer Thee, that 
Thy power may be shown in my behalf, to cleanse and keep me 
free from sin. 

Night. — " I will lay me down and sleep ; for Thou, Lord, 
only makest me to dwell in safety." Safe let me be from sin as 
well as from danger. 

Saturday, Jan. 22d. — " And whatsoever ye shall ask in my 
name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." 
0, my Savior, " one prayer I have, all prayers in one," let me be 
freed from sin, let me be wholly Thine. " 'Tis worse than death 
my God to love, and not my God alone." 

Night. — " Hitherto ye have asked nothing in my name. Ask 

and receive, that your joy may be full." Oh, my Savior, my joy 

cannot be full, until Thou from every sin release, and give me Thy 

peace. 

****** 

April 1st, Sunday. — I have often longed to get to this book 
and to record the longings, the prayers, the vows of my heart. 
But I have been exceedingly busy and weary in body and mind, 
night and morning, and have (I grieve that it has been so) allowed 
the cares of life to eat into my soul, and to press out the sweeter, 
dearer thoughts to which I had hoped and promised to give my- 
self. Oh my God ! forgive me once again ! And now, on this 
first day of the month, the first day of " passion week," let me 
again give myself up to my Lord, more deeply, truly, earnestly 
than ever ! I do love Him. I long to be like Him ; I long even 
to be with Him ; only, if it be His will for me to do something in 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 299 

His service, that I may take some sheaves with me. Oh for souls 
to be my crown of rejoicing ! 

And now, O my Savior, I cannot live without Thee. Oh, 
come and take possession of Thine own blood-bought soul ! Oh, 
Lord, I leave myself before Thee in utter emptiness, weakness, 
poverty, sinfulness. I place myself on Thine altar ; I wait for 
the consuming fire ; I know Thou art able to cleanse from all sin. 
I wait for Thee. 

April $th, Good Friday. — My faith has been feeble the last 
week, and I have been overtaken and overcome ; but to-day, in 
view of all that my Savior has done and suffered for me, I seem 
shut up, not only to supreme love, entire, joyful surrender, sweet, 
full consecration to Him, but to faith ; yes, to faith that His blood 
cleanseth — doth now cleanse from all sin. Dear Redeemer ! 
Thou seest my heart this moment. Oh, does it not long for Thine 
indwellings with longings unutterable ! I cannot keep my unbe- 
lief longer. I do, I must, I do believe that His precious blood 
doth now cleanse me from sin. 

And now, on this solemn day, in which so many have remem- 
bered their Lord's sufferings for sin, and in which, with the other 
members of this mission, I have received the Holy Communion, 
I do anew consecrate my all to my dear Master, most unworthy 
as I am of the least of His mercies, and yet from His infinite mercy 
expecting the very greatest of blessings. Yes, I do expect to be 
kept from sin, and to be filled with the Holy Ghost. Behold Thy 
waiting servant, Lord, and say, " Be it unto thee according to thy 
faith ; thy faith hath saved thee, go in peace." Lord, I am 
Thine ; save me, for I have sought Thy precept. Yea, Lord, I 
thank Thee and bless Thee. Thou art infinite faithfulness ; Thou 
canst not fail Thy promise ; Thou art mine ; Thou dost visit ; 
Thou dost save ; oh, save me henceforth and forever. Amen. 

2 o'clock, p. m., Friday, April 6, 1860. — 0, my precious Re- 
deemer, according to the command of Thine own inspired record, 
I do from this moment, entirely in Thy strength and depending on 
Thy grace, which is all-sufficient for all Thy commands, profess in 
thy all-searching sight, that I reckon myself dead indeed unto sin, 
but alive unto God, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Thanks be 
unto God for His unspeakable gift. Hallelujah ! and let all things 
praise the Lord ; praise Him, oh my soul. 



300 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, March 5, 1860. 
****** 

Your imagination draws a picture in connection with my read- 
ing of Newman,* which, I am happy to say, has no reality. I 
was deeply shocked, and were I twenty years old, instead of being 
almost forty, I might have received long injury. But it was his 
attack on the character of Jesus that so shocked me ; for if His 
spotless life be all a dream, then farewell forever to all happiness 
for me. Dreary, rayless gloom would settle on me forever. Nay, 
all goodness would appear a dream, and all hope but folly. But 
thanks be to God, I know in whom I have believed, and, day by 
day, my soul rejoices in Him more and more. I have never had 
such views and feelings about heaven and death, as in the past 
two months. Happy in my home, happy in my work, happy in 
my friends, I may truly say that I am still more happy in the 
anticipation of the blessedness awaiting the Christian, and shall be 
satisfied " when I awake in His likeness." 

" We speak of the realms of the blest, 

That country so bright and so fair, 
And oft are its glories confess'd, 

But what must it be, to be there ? 
We speak of its service of love, 

The robes which the glorified wear, 
The Church of the first-born above, 

But what must it be, to be there ? " 

But to return to Newman, from which subject (out of the 
abundance of the heart) I have made a strange digression. It 
seems to me utterly incomprehensible that there should be no 
" void " in his heart. Tell me that a man's whole family were 
snatched away from him, and that he felt no void, and there could 
be but two possible conclusions, viz., that he was not human, or 
else that he had never loved them (which would be, indeed, un- 
human). But is not the place given to Jesus by those who be- 
lieve in His " divinity," larger than that given to all the world ? 
He feels bitterly that his old friends should judge he never loved ; 
but what else can they think, when he says he " feels no void ? " 
When I read " The Soul," I sympathized more with him than with 
the Romanist ; but let me be a sincere Romanist ten times over 

[* F. W. Newman's "Phases of Faith," which Mrs. K. read at Hong 
Kong, and to which she had alluded in a previous letter.] 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 301 

rather than Francis W. Newman. And if that be a divine word, 
" He that shall deny me before men," &c, oh, what will be the 
state of his immortal being, when the future world shall open be- 
fore him ? But enough of Newman ; from the depths of my soul 
I pity him ; and if his be not a " sin unto death," the merciful One 
even now intercedes. " He knows not what he does." 

We are in comfortable health, and I have just now begun to 
translate " Gallaudet's Child's Book on the Soul." 



TO MRS. SMITH. 

Shanghai, July 18, 1860. 

My ever dear Charlotte : Your letter was unexpected and 
most welcome, and claimed my most affectionate sympathy with 
you, in the new affliction, which touched the tenderest part of your 
nature. I feel that you have long since sought and found all the 
consolations afforded by our precious faith, and that you can say 
from the depths of a trusting and grateful soul, "It is the Lord, 
let Him do what seemeth Him good ; He doeth all things 
well." It is true, and every Christian will agree in this, that our 
deepest sorrows, by God's favor, bring us the richest spiritual 
blessings. I have no doubt you have ere this found the blessing 
your loving Father designed to give. 

****** 

The last of December, our new friends, eleven in number, be- 
sides the Bishop and his wife, arrived. One couple are staying 
with us, and this adds fivefold to my household cares. As house- 
keeping is distasteful to me, it is therefore the more fatiguing, and 
I come up stairs in the morning to lie down an hour, when, had I 
been otherwise engaged, I should be comparatively fresh. In this 
way I have lost many hours, which I might have given to writ- 
ing ; and, again, when I have had full strength, my time has been 
utterly consumed. I never wrote so little in all my life. I have 
had much company that it was my duty to invite, and servants to 
train, and the last spring, for eight weeks, workmen in the house. 
I begin to see how it is that persons, whose occupations are of an 
exceedingly broken and various kind, find such difficulty in writ- 
ing. The thoughts are also scattered and confused. I have had 
my day school, but have found it impossible to give it the regular 
care I used to do. Also I have finished the translation of a little 
book, " Gallaudet's Child's Book on the Soul," but I do not feel as 
though I had got fairly into rank, and had really begun the cam- 
paign. 



302 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Sept. 1, 1860. 

****** 

About a fortnight since we packed up our clothes and sent 
them on shipboard ; then the ladies went off to stay at night, 
owing to reports that the rebels were within two or three miles, 
and approaching our mission settlement. I remained one night, 
others (in different ships) remained for different reasons a longer 
time. To be on shipboard is now horrible to me from associa- 
tions ; and it was more so from the presence there of an aban- 
doned American and his Chinese wives. I determined, therefore, 
that, if I went on shipboard again, it would not be till the banners 
of the rebels were in sight. It was Sunday morning that I 
returned home. Our servants had all left ; one man gave some 
assistance in the kitchen. It was in the heat of the weather, and 
not knowing how soon we might be driven off entirely, and need 
all our thin clothes, I set about washing. I had just got all the 
clothes into the boiler, when the summons came to prepare to flee ; 
and I left them nicely boiling, and set out at 1 1-J a. m. At 1 p. m., 
Mr. Keith returned and found some dinner, and the servant said 
he would stay while the foreigners did. The next day I returned 
and ironed some, and so on daily, till the clothes were mostly 
done up. 

My health has been uncommonly good during these turmoils, 
though I was often greatly fatigued. I believe the excitement 
was to me a positive good, as the usual monotony of Shanghai life 
is, to one of my constitution, a certain, though at the time an im- 
perceptible injury, like bad air. 

TO THE SAME. 

Shanghai, Oct. 1, 1860. 

My dear Brother : I received yours of July 10th last week, 
and learn that the transgressor * has gone to meet his God. For 
myself, though he were to "restore fourfold," I should by no 
means feel assured of his penitence ; for, as all his life long he has 
robbed God, so in his death, he might seek to propitiate Him, and, 
in the paroxysm of fear, essay to buy His favor. To me, the sad- 
dest thoughts arise in thinking of his truly pious parents. Their 
prayers, the yearning cry of their hearts, as appears to human 
view, have not been answered. As to the debt, I had long since 
resigned the last expectation of any more payment, and certainly 
have no hope of it now. I have everything I could wish, and a 

[* A very wealthy relative, who had deliberately defrauded her of several 
hundred dollars.] 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 303 

comfortable support laid up for the day of weakness, when it 
comes. It is more than I ever expected. "While I look upon all 
human possessions as more and more uncertain, I am thankful 
that God lends me His good gifts so largely, and hope I may not, 
for a day, forget that all I need and all I can have, is my " daily 
bread " in its large sense. All other feelings toward ■ are 

swallowed up in the thought of his fearful sins against God, that 
God whom he has gone to meet. 

Some months later, in acknowledging the receipt of the dex- 
terous (I cannot more fitly characterize it by any other word) 
funeral discourse, preached at the funeral, she says : 

I received the " curio," the funeral sermon on . He is 

in the hands of God. Let us be humbly thankful if God has thus 
far restrained our hands from such deeds as his, our hearts from 
such devices. " my soul, come not thou into their secret." 



TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Oct. 4, 1860. 
****** 

I am soon tired. It makes me feel the more that I must has- 
ten to work, while it is day, for my night cometh. I feel the im- 
portance now of apportioning the day, for I have not the indefinite 
amount of strength I once had, to go from one thing to another 
till all I planned was done. 

I have been reading lately some deeply interesting volumes, 
entitled, " Memoirs of Port Royalists," by Mrs. Schimmelpenninck. 
I wish you had it to read and lend. It has been a feast to me and 
to others. I think that is one way of doing good, to read and 
recommend good books. Have you ever read the " Memoir of 
Elizabeth Fry," by her daughters. If not, do so, and own and 
lend it. There are, perhaps, half a dozen books, which are as 
mile-stones in my spiritual history. One is Upham's " Interior 
Life ; " one, " The Way of Holiness," by Phebe Palmer ; another, 
Mrs. Fry ; another, I am sure, will be the " Memoirs of Port 
Royalists." The picture of their self-denial brought me to some 
close and humbling scrutinies of self. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Nov. 30, 1860. 
****** 

Another book, and one of the signs of the time, is " Haste to 
the Rescue," kindred to the book I commended to you, entitled 



304: MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

" English Hearts and English Hands." "What Miss Marsh effected 
among the "navvies," Mrs. "Wightman, the wife of a clergyman 
in the old town of Shrewsbury, attempted among the poor work- 
ing men of her husband's parish. They were never to be got to 
church, though her husband is one of the hard-working clergy, 
who left no means in his power untried. They could not be seen 
in their homes by day, because they were away at work ; and 
what do you think this heroic woman did? She went to the 
homes of these men by night. She asked for the loan of one of 
their kitchens to hold a " Bible reading ; " that is, a service in 
which there is a hymn, a prayer, a reading, an exposition. Her 
first audience was six persons. She at once brought the tem- 
perance pledge as handmaid to the good work — as handmaid, not 
the ruling and master power. That was always the love of God 
in Christ. It was wonderful to see how she melted and raised 
those men. She had also night schools and other friendly devices. 
She gave herself to the work (I presume she had no children, she 
mentions none), spending often five nights of the week, besides 
afternoons and sometimes whole days. Her husband wished it 
(rare clergyman), and she did not forget the women. She helped 
them to see how to help their husbands and brighten their homes. 
But the book must be read. I fear it is not yet republished in 
America. But there is another kindred book, which is republished 
in America, " The Missing Link." It tells how one, and then two 
or three and more, benevolent and discreet ladies, found pious, 
earnest, sensible women, of very humble condition, to go among 
their own rank in life in " St. Giles's," in "Shadwell," in " Shore- 
ditch," in " Westminster," and such places, and these women were 
to seek the lost in their dens. They could go where neither mis- 
sionary nor " lady- visitors " could get access. Do get the book, 
and see how beautifully an important idea is worked out. It may 
well be called " The Missing Link." Oh, I feel that such books 
as these are well calculated to do an immense deal of good. They 
show the power of patient love ; they encourage hope and effort ; 
they make plain the great importance, nay, the indispensableness 
of the feminine element as a power ; they speak to thousands of 
women, who have already willing hearts, and give them hints for 
the employment of their different gifts ; they shame the indolent 
Christian lady, who wastes her health, her eyes, and her time in 
vain employments, for which there is no call of necessity. The 
glorious "cloud of witnesses," how it brightens this dark world 
with a glow that can never cease till the glories of heaven succeed 
to this world of warfare and pilgrimage ! Oh, that all Christ's sol- 
diers could live as " seeing the things that are invisible." Then 






MISSIONARY LITE. 305 

would they not cease to fight ; then would they never faint ; then 
would they go on conquering and to conquer. 

TO MRS. WM. DAWES, MILWAUKEE, WIS. 

Shanghai, Jan. 8, 1861. 

My dear Friend and Sister : How have you been engaged 
to-day? Have your prayers risen with those of thousands all 
round this earth ? I doubt not it is so.» In about half an hour we 
go to a prayer meeting held at the house of Mr. Culbertson, a 
Presbyterian missionary near us. I shall think of you there, as I 
do so often, if not daily, and shall believe that our prayers mingle 
before the " mercy-seat." Such a week as this, which we know 
so many thousands of Christians of all names observe, is a sweet 
rest and strengthener to us in these outposts of labor. "We feel at 
liberty to relax from the avocations to which we otherwise feel 
bound by duty, and to taste the luxury of a whole week of medi- 
tation, prayer and communion with God. I shall feel, dear friend, 
that this week you and your dear husband will put up special 
prayers for us as missionaries. You know how truly I love my 
church, and how green I find the pastures there. Only turn to 
your Bible, and see the rich portion for Sunday, it being "Epipha- 
ny," when our church commemorates " the manifestation of Christ 
to the Gentiles," in the persons of the " wise men of the East." 
The appointed lessons are, Isaiah lx., Komans xi., Matthew ii. ; 
also for evening, Isaiah xlix., and John iii. The portions of Isaiah 
could not have been more adapted to encourage and animate mis- 
sionaries, as they enter upon a week of prayer. Connecting 
them, as Episcopalians, by habit at least, must do, with the coming 
of our Savior to this sinful earth as a child, that He might save us 
by His life as well as by His death, they bring us very near to 
Him. On Monday morning, all the missionaries met at the 
chapel of the London mission, Dr. Bridgman, the oldest Amer- 
ican missionary, presiding. The subject, as you know, was broth- 
erly kindness, and the Doctor was very earnest. 

Friday 11th. — It is one way of spending a week in communion 
and sympathy with you, to write a few thoughts from day to day. 
* * * Why, why are there not more to trust the word of the 
Savior ? Dear friend, as I write these words, memory unbidden 
brings up those precious hours, when we together bowed before 
the throne of grace, when we took sweet counsel together and 
spake often of our Lord. How precious would be such a season 
with you now, to have you here, to let you see all our daily life, to 
recount the faithful dealings of our God, to plan and hope for the 



306 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

future ! I do believe your prayers ascend for us this day. How 
long it must be before I hear from you ! 

Monday liih. — The week of prayer is ended, and we must 
° come down from the mount," and enter again the world's dusty 
highway. On Saturday I was reading, for the first time, the let- 
ters I wrote my husband about the middle of February, two years 
since. It did me good by them to recall that visitation of the 
Lord. And the tone of them was the more striking after reading 
a few of the preceding letters. I do not feel that I have continu 
ously walked worthy of that blessed time ; but I have never lost 
the sight of my Father's face, and the access to Him, that is in 
itself blessing, and the means of blessing. But I do rejoice to feel 
that " my beloved is mine and I am His." My strong desire, the 
yearning of my soul, is to be only His — to do only His will. 
Yesterday was a delightful day to me in the courts of the Lord. 
I was at the English church all day ; the morning first lesson was 
Isaiah xliv., the evening lesson was the xlv., the second lesson 
1 Cor. iii. Look at the first Sunday after Epiphany, and see how 
appropriate the collect was after such a week, and when we were 
about to go again to our labors. The afternoon there was a spe- 
cial communion service. It would have done your heart good to 
see the number of soldiers and officers of the army and navy, 
earnest Christians, who knelt among the soldiers of the cross. 
Before the communion service closed, it was nearly dark, and the 
darkness even added to the solemnity. I felt alone with God 
amidst His people. It was a sweet, solemn season. Oh, how 
wonderful it is to me that God should spread me a table in the 
wilderness, that He should feed me with the richest tokens of His 
love ! 

TO MRS. GEORGE KINNEY * NEW YORK CITY. 

Shanghai, Feb. 11, 1861. 

My dear Mrs. Kinney : Ever since I left New York and 
America, in May, 1859, I have been intending "some time " to 
write you. On shipboard I was too " good-for-nothing ; " on our 
arrival, too busy, except for a hurried line, which was not what I 
was content to write. Then two of the missionaries boarded with 
us, and being indisposed a good deal, they cost me not only labor, 
but anxiety. They left for the United States last October ; and 
then, debts in letters had to be paid up — not debts for letters, be- 
cause almost all my friends have ceased writing. After this one I 

[* The letters to this lady (one of my sister's very kind friends) of an ear- 
lier date than 1861, were mislaid on her removal from New York city in that 
year.] 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 307 

have to write two letters, and then my note book will be strictly 
one of " Dr." and " Cr.," for I shall not use ray time and strength 
in writing to any one, who has not first written to me, much as I 
might like to write them, or hope to hear from them ; unless, in- 
deed, I have some special missionary object in view. 

****** 

As I have told you of what I have done, I must also tell you 
of what I have planned to do, just as though I were sitting in that 
little room over the entry, talking with you. Well, for my next- 
next book, I mean to make a little text-book something like 
" Daily Food," for the daily use of the Chinese Christians. I 
think I shall get that with the " Youth's Book " all printed before 
next Christmas. After that I think I shall content myself with 
translating one book a year, as long as health to do it is granted 
me ; and the rest of my time I will spend in study and in active 
labor among the Chinese. These are my plans ; but made in 
recollection that all things are at the disposal of my Heavenly 
Father, who is wiser than I, and who will do " all things well." 
But there is great need of books for our schools, and the need is 
greater as years roll on, partly because most missionaries love 
entirely active labor, better than they do the careful, slow labor 
of translating. And, besides, there is need of a Christian litera* 
ture, to which the grown-up Christians, who have been educated 
in our schools, can resort. While I am on this subject of books, 
let me ask you, sometime when Dr. Tyng calls at your house, to 
say to him, that, if at any time he meets with a book, either in the 
religious or general-knowledge department, simple, clear, valuable, 
and fitted by its style for translation, to remember China and me, 
and send it out. He will think it a bold request, as though he 
had not enough else to think of; but he likes boldness in a good 
cause. And please you send me his volume on Sunday schools. 
I know I shall learn wisdom from it, and it will help me in my 
labors. And, as one book would be lonesome, please send me 
Dr. Tyng's " Christian Titles." I keep getting one after another, 
and giving it away, and now I have none. I have an idea that 
some of these years I shall translate it for the Chinese Christians. 
I like it best of all the books he has published. ' 

I cannot tell you what a joy it is to be once again in health, 
and at work all day long. I feel unable to thank my merciful 
God as I ought ; but oh, I do long to use that health to the 
utmost and in the best way, in His blessed service. My visit to 
America was, in some respects, a remarkably pleasant one ; but, 
as to health, it seems one long fatigue. How much more I should 
have enjoyed if I had first gone to " Water Cure," and how much 
better fitted to be useful while at home ; for you have no idea, nor 



308 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

can I describe in words, how much keener is now my interest in 
life and all its varied engagements — how much greater the zest of 
every day's duties and enjoyments, than when dyspepsia paralyzed 
or perverted every faculty. 

****** 

Mr. Hoffman has been making very affecting appeals for Afri- 
ca, and were I not in China, I should certainly seek to go to 
Africa. Yet America is very dear to me, and I wonder there are 
not ten to every one who now takes the field as a standard bearer 
for his Master. It seems to me all explained in one word — unbe- 
lief; for if faith were lively and simple, it would so apprehend 
spiritual things, and so appreciate the delights and the gracious 
rewards of the service of Christ, that there would be a holy emu- 
lation, and laborers would be as many as disciples. But the giants 
are too many and too great, except for the spiritual Calebs. Yet 
there are more and more Calebs every year, and it is grand to see 
the enemy fall before them. My heart bounds within me, as I 
sit in far-off China and read of the doors that are opening to the 
truth of Jesus in Italy and many other important parts of Europe, 
in different parts of Asia, in India especially, and to see, too, that 
the degraded and suffering at the very door of Christendom are no 
longer forgotten. 

****** 

I hope the ladies of the "Dorcas," who knew "Miss Tenney," 
will discover and be assured that Mrs. Keith has been a better and 
more efficient missionary than Miss T., because she has so good a 
helper in Mr. Keith. Mrs. Keith gets through her housekeeping 
by nine o'clock, and then is ready for the day's work as mission- 
ary — very much as Miss Tenney used to do, only I think that ten 
years have added to the little stock of wisdom and skill. 

Mr. Keith desires his kindest remembrance. Write soon, and 
believe me always, with very affectionate regard, yours in Chris- 
tian bonds, Caroline P. Keith. 

TO HER NIECE. 

Shanghai, February, 1861. 

My dear Isabel : I do not know whether or not I am in 
your debt as to letters. At any rate, I am always happy to write 
you, hoping to cultivate the more in you a habit of writing letters, 
and that easily and with pleasure. Correspondence with friends, 
by letters, has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life. The 
love of reading, real delight in the thoughts communicated by 
books, has been, next to religion, the first pleasure of my life. I 
would not sell the pleasure I now derive every year from this 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 309 

source for the income of Astor. As I think of you, my dear Isa- 
bel, it is always with these two thoughts uppermost. First, that 
you may be a Christian. And, to my mind, that means to make 
Christ our model, to live to bless, to do good. The purest happi- 
ness springs from this, too, and it can be found, really, in nothing 
else, because without this there is ever a secret dissatisfaction with 
ourselves. Seek your own happiness as a direct object, and you 
never will find it ; it will elude you. Forget yourself, in living 
for others, and for the objects presented in the Holy Bible, and 
you will secure the truest happiness, even though, in the provi- 
dence of God, there should be many trials in your lot. Trials you 
will have, as I have had many. They are needed ; they are best 
for us ; God thus disciplines us. Mine have ever been among my 
richest blessings. But I believe, the less selfish we are, the less 
we shall have, for we shall need less. Selfishness is the poison of 
human nature, and it is the life-long work, by the grace of God, to 
expel it from the system. 

I had no thought of writing all this, as I took up my pen at a 
moment's notice. The second thing I desire for you is a love and 
habit of reading, a love of gaining knowledge, not of mere facts 
alone, but the habit of using the ideas in fresh and useful combina- 
tions for yourself. Thoughts, ideas, become motives, and motives 
become actions, and actions make up the life, which is the seed- 
time for eternity. I want to- have you love, not merely study of 
text-books ; though these are important, general information is of 
far more importance in common life, especially to a woman. You 
do not have much time for reading now, although that time will 
soon come, for I was startled to find you were sixteen, and I sup- 
pose in two or three years more you will leave school. You will 
leave it, I hope, not to suppose education " finished," but to con- 
tinue the education at home, or in the world, as Providence may 
direct. My dear child, you know not how earnestly I long that 
you may have the wisdom of a teachable, loving, obedient spirit 
toward God and toward those who are older and wiser than you. 
This is the gift of God ; ask it from Him in all sincerity and ear- 
nestness. It seems but the other day that I was only sixteen. 
Your advantages are much greater than mine were at your age. 
I am sure that you do not neglect to be diligent and to stand well 
at school. I do not fear in this ; yet I have some fear for you. 
But even were I near you, I could do little for you. Our destiny 
in this world, as well as for the other, lies in our own hands, and 
in those of no one else. Will you be happy ; will you be truly 
useful ; will you be good ? You alone can answer. The price is 
in your hand. What is the aim of your life, Isabel ? Ask your- 
self, and compel an answer in plain, definite, straight-forward Ian- 



310 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

guage. Is it such as Jesus would commend ? If so, try to keep 
your eye upon that mark, and be not discouraged though you 
stumble often. Ah, how oft have I stumbled ! but I can truly 
say, my face has been in one direction, longing for excellence 
more than for all else ; not the esteem of others, though that is to 
be desired, but the approval of God. Dear Isabel, make this the 
first aim of every day, to please Him ; and remember that He 
looketh upon the heart. 

I sat down to write because I heard that there was a ship to 
leave to-day for California. I had no plan to write so seriously, 
and I do not know whether or not you will feel you need it, 
whether it will tire you, or whether it will speak to your con- 
science and to your heart. I think of you much ; and always, as 
I do, the image of your own mother stands near you, and I knew 
her heart, and I seem to see her yearning look and hear her oft- 
breathed prayer, " Oh, that Isabel may be a good girl, and do 
good : this is my whole prayer." Such would be the desire that 
would fill her heart for you as it does mine, as I am sure it does 
your father's, and that of the kind mother God has given you. 
May God give you all necessary wisdom and all true goodness. 
He will, if you seek and ask it of Him. Ever your loving aunt, 

Caeoline. 

extract of a private letter from mrs. keith.* 

Shanghai, Feh. 14, 1861. 

The accession to our number in December, 1859, as you know, 
added to my domestic cares and labors, so that I had not the unin- 
terrupted time nor the untaxed strength to give to the work I love 
best, and I only attempted the care of one day school and some 
effort at translating. The unsettled state of the country has, I 
believe, affected all the day schools, and I know of some that are 
disbanded, because no scholars will come. I have not, as yet, 
been able to raise mine to its former quality or number ; but I 
cannot give up without a year more of effort. You know so well 
what they are in general character, that I need not describe 
them. 

During the first half of last year I finished the translation of 
the " Child's Book on the Soul," by Gallaudet, and it is through 
the press except a few pages. I hope it may help in the work of 
education, and stimulate the Chinese pupils to thought and to some 
feelings of adoration to the Father of spirits. Just before Christ- 
mas I began a new school at Tse-Oong Pang, the same hamlet 
where the old lady teacher Koo-niang-niang worked her last year. 

[* From the " Spirit of Missions."] 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 311 

It is pleasant to hear the people speak of her as one who " truly 
believed," and was most diligent, early and late, in reading the 
Bible. And, indeed, my most vivid recollection of her is of one 
who was most eager to make herself acquainted with the inherit- 
ance purchased for her by her Savior, and glad to go and be with 
Him. The present teacher is a young girl once in one of my day 
schools, and then a pupil of Mrs. Bridgman. She is young, and 
not a Christian, and I cannot tell yet what her success will be ; 
but I feel very anxious that every right advantage should be given 
to the girls taught in Christian schools, that parents may see that 
it is some " use " to let their girls study books. 

Sometimes quite a number of women of the hamlet, and youths, 
come in to listen while I am talking to the children. I am going 
to try to induce the younger women to learn to read, by offering 
them a reward, and the young teacher a fee for teaching them. I 
know not which will prosper, this or that ; but I must try every 
practicable means of drawing their attention to the tidings of 
great joy. 

I have begun the translation of G-allaudet's " Youth's Book of 
Natural Theology," and hope to finish it by May or June, and to 
see it in print by autumn. It is intended to follow the book 
spoken of above, and perhaps will open to the pupils in the schools 
a new page of thought. I hope it may give stimulus to their 
minds, and open their eyes to some of the wonders of daily life, 
that they may learn to adore the Creator, and to feel themselves 
surrounded by His power and goodness. Hitherto there have 
been few school books prepared, partly because the Bible required 
so much of the available time and attention, partly that there was 
so much else to do, there was little leisure for translating and pre- 
paring school books. Some geographies and arithmetics and line 
upon line are, so far as I know, all that Ningpo and Shanghai com- 
bined have hitherto done for school books, besides catechisms. 
Now, that children are in the schools from six to ten years, their 
minds need to be enriched more with general knowledge, and to 
be stimulated to observation and reflection and reasoning. I have 
in view one or two books when I shall have finished the Theol- 
ogy ; and I shall aim to translate at least one book a year as long 
as I live in China, and health and strength sufficient for the labor 
be granted me. I have been translating some little tales, mostly 
relating to converted heathen. These I expect to have printed 
soon, and bound up with the reprint of " Henry and his Bearer." 
New plans and new works open before me continually, and new 
hope and new joy in pressing forward to the accomplishment of 
these. 

And while the preparation and translation of school books is a * 



312 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

work upon which my heart is much set, I am also anxious to do 
more for the Chinese adult women than I have hitherto done, and 
if possible to be among them more. The sixteen months since 
our return to China have certainly and by unanimous opinion been 
most remarkable as to the continuance of rainy and inclement 
weather. It has kept the country roads almost impassable, and 
the sky dark and gloomy, and has really been a hindrance to out- 
door missionary labors among the stronger sex, certainly not less 
so in the way of women. 

I have spoken hopefully above of plans and labor ; but I have 
not been without discouragements and trials to faith. Soon after 
my arrival, I took to live with me a bright young girl who had 
been in the boarding school, but being found incorrigible in bind- 
ing her feet, was sent away. She was a quick scholar, and f sent 
her to the day school constantly. At the time of the rebel panic, 
her mother begged that she might take her to a ship with her 
where her husband (not the girl's father) was, and that, as soon as 
the troubles were over, she would bring her back. But she car- 
ried her off to Canton, and has doubtless, ere this, sold her to 
some heathen Canton man. And, to add to my regret, the Chi- 
nese now tell me that the girl was unwilling to go, but that her 
mother terrified her into going. She took her Christian books 
with her, and I can only pray the Great Shepherd to look after 
His lamb in the wilderness, and lead her to Himself. He can 
make affliction a blessing to her. 

I prevailed upon the mother of another girl, formerly in my 
day school, a very bright scholar, to permit her daughter to come 
to live with me, that I might support her and send her to school, 
and fit her for a teacher. She came a while, and my hopes were 
quite raised ; but the mother would not let the child rest, and she 
left me. These have been disappointments that I much felt, for 
the girls were very interesting, and their welfare was dear to me. 
Another cause of anxious feeling is the woman who has been 
teacher of my day school since 1854. She is very intelligent and 
capable, but utterly uninterested in religious truth. These things 
try the faith, the patience, the endurance, and drive us to the 
promisees and to Him who sent us hither. We there learn, again, 
not to be weary in well-doing, being assured that " we shall reap 
if we faint not." 

Believing that G-od has purposes of mercy toward His people, 
and knowing that He is faithfulness and trust, and that His prom- 
ise and purpose can never fail, we wait, indeed ; and sometimes 
the delay seems long, but we wait in hope, trusting in God. He 
called Jonah to warn Nineveh, and it repented ; but had not one 
repented, it was no less his duty to proclaim the word of God. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 313 

So has our Lord said to His Church, " Teach all nations ;" and in 
doing His will, we need not fear to leave results to Him. Though 
it may not please Him to grant to us the success so naturally 
desired by every human heart, we are persuaded that others will 
reap it ; for it is the order of nature in many things and preemi- 
nently so in the kingdom of grace — " one man laboreth, and an- 
other entereth into his labors." But even to us it may be granted 
before we " depart," that in this land " our eyes should see the 
salvation "of our God. 

When I took my pen, I had no idea of writing so much at 
length ; but as I do not write often, I think I am sure of your 
indulgence. I felt that you would be interested in my quiet and 
humble labors. I ought to have mentioned the great assistance I 
obtained from Mr. Keith in the preparation of the manuscripts of 
my translations for the printer, and in the correction of " proofs," 
and in the business of buying the paper, and of having the books 
bound. He greatly expedites all my plans in these things, and 
encourages me in my undertakings. 

TO MRS. DAWES. 

Shanghai, Feh. 15, 1861. 

My ever dear Friend : My spirit is often drawn toward you 
with as much freshness and tenderness as this time two years 
since, when we were together and God was with us. And from 
time to time by these little love tokens I am going to bridge over 
the gulf between China and Wisconsin. This is Ash- Wednesday, 
the beginning of Lent, one of the two most solemn and strict fasts 
in our church. I have been thinking over the path of my pil- 
grimage to this hour, and some of my sins. But a few of all the 
innumerable legions can memory in the flesh now recall, but even 
these are enough to humble me anew before God, and make me 
feel that there is no place low enough for me — enough to fill my 
soul with wonder at the patience, forgiving mercy, love and long- 
suffering of our God and Savior and Sanctifier — enough to over- 
whelm me with unutterable emotion and desire. 

" Oh, for a heart to praise my God, 
A heart from sin set free, 
A heart that's sprinkled with the blood 
So freely shed for me." 

\ I trust that such a heart, through mercy, is in some sense 
mine, and I do joy in God. Of all the wonderful goodness of my 
Heavenly Father, which this day rises before me, none seems 
more wonderful than his gracious visitation to me two years since, 
14 



314 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

when He placed my feet on a rock and put a new song in my 
mouth. Dear friend, do not forget to pray indeed for me, that my 
life may praise Him, more and more. 

March 9th. — In the days since my last date, I have often 
thought of you, and often wished to record a few lines, but press 
of occupation forbade. One week ago, had I written, it would 
have been with the glow of happiness and hope. And now, 
indeed, there is hope and there is happiness, but deeply chastened 
and shaded by the dispensations of Providence toward us and 
toward our beloved country. 

March 4th (an ominous day for America, though we are not 
there to see it !) we got our mail, for which we had been waiting 
with peculiar anxiety. We were anxious for our country, because 
the previous mail had informed us of the election of Lincoln and 
the madness of the South. We also looked anxiously for remit- 
tances from the mission rooms, in which there had been a delay 
unusually long and entirely incomprehensible to us. The news 
we got, confirmed the fact of South Carolina's secession, and also 
that the depressed state of business had already so afflicted the 
treasury, that we were advised at once to make every possible 
retrenchment. This advice would have been most weighty in 
any circumstances, but it threw us almost into consternation, when 
coupled with the fact that the mission is $12,000 in debt in 
Shanghai, and that the mail brought not a dollar of relief, or 
promise of relief. I have seen trials and vicissitudes and changes 
and distresses in missionary life, but I have never seen a week 
like the past. I lose the days of the week and the days of the 
month. I have to reason with myself to believe that it is only 
five days since we heard the heavy tidings. And I cannot say 
which we feel most, the evils that seem threatening our country, 
or this check to our work as missionaries, a check that will tell on 

years to come. 

****** 

As to our country and slavery, you know my sentiments. It 
seems to me dissolution is inevitable, and civil war highly prob- 
able. Unspeakably sad as it is to contemplate, my comfort is 
that, through this, God will put an end to slavery the sooner. 
The South Carolinians have made their institution their god, and 
that god requires the slave-trade. I believe the United States, 
now, would rather see thirty-three " kingdoms," than a slave- 
trading " republic ! " As a nation we have sinned, and we must 
expect that such an evil and sin would require much suffering in 
its course and in its extirpation. The innocent must share in the 
fruit and suffering of sin. But God is a God of mercy. Those 
who love Him are crying to Him. He will hear and answer in 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 315 

wisdom and love. But haa not the cry of the oppressed also gone 
up before Him ? 

TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, March 4, 1861. 

My dear Mary : On the evening of a day when my thoughts 
have been much in America, I sit down to reply to your letter of 
December 4th, received this morning. * * * Is not this 
heavy news ? Just as the sky is beginning to clear away, and 
the missionaries of different names are beginning to scatter and get 
into the interior, the clouds settle over our own beloved land, and 
we feel it is but the beginning of a storm. If the contributions 
are already affected, when can we hope for the tide to return ? 
So, then, as to our country, and as to our loved work, the interests 
of religion at home and here, we could sit down and weep. But 
our hope is in God. He ruleth among the nations ; He sees the 
end from the beginning. We resign all to Him, while we cry 
with tears and groaning of spirit, " let Thy kingdom come," yea, 
" hasten Thy kingdom." 

****** 

I feel glad, dear Mary, that you have gone forward in that 
which has so long seemed to you your duty, and I am not sur- 
prised that in so doing you stepped into " light and peace." How 
else, but in doing all known duty, is peace to be had? And I 
know, too, how sweet on such a day were words of sympathy and 
love from others. It is written, " they that loved the Lord spake 
often one to another, and He hearkened and heard, and a book 
of remembrance was written," as though God delighted in his 
children talking together of Him. That feeling of " consecra- 
tion," which you speak of, is, indeed, a most solemn one. May it 
pervade your whole heart and life. You ask if I was baptized in 
infancy. No ; but I wish I had been, with the training in keep- 
ing. For in baptism, in my beloved church, the child is " signed 
with the sign of the cross, in token that hereafter he shall not be 
ashamed to confess the faith of Christ crucified, and manfully to 
fight under His banner, against sin, the world, and the devil, and 
to continue Christ's faithful soldier and servant to his life's end." 
I believe, if parents are faithful, that God will be faithful to His 
part, and that children will be Christian children, and not grow up 
careless of God and duty, insensible and worldly, and expecting 
God to do a wonderful work for them sometime in their conver- 
sion. Then, when the Bishop's hands are laid on the head, the 
act of voluntary, open consecration before God, men and angels is 
most solemn. Perhaps you can turn to the hymn of Doddridge, 
" Oh, happy day that fixed my choice." It is generally sung in 



316 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

two parts at " confirmations," while the candidates are moving to 
the chancel, and then again as they return ; the second part, com- 
mencing with the lines : 

" 'Tis done, the great transaction's done, 
I am the Lord's and He is mine." 

Do you not feel regret, now, that you should so long have 
refused to regard the Savior's parting words, ". This do in remem- 
brance of me ? " Could you have treated any other dear friend so ? 
Oh, how we put off God and duty to wait our convenience ! How 
wonderful is His long-suffering and patience with us ! I would 
love much to talk with you, and I find that I have but feebly ex- 
pressed what my heart deeply feels. 

March 11th. — * * * There are a few books, which, in 
former times, I have enjoyed and found a help. If I were near 
you, I would get them for you. Hannah More's " Practical Pie- 
ty " is one of those books which aid devotion. There is an excel- 
lent u Treatise on Prayer," by Bickersteth, suggestive, instructive. 
There is (to me) a very sweet little book called " White on 
Prayer." You will pardon me this long discourse, for, as Mont- 
gomery has it, " Prayer is the Christian's vital breath," or as 
another, M He, who has learnt to pray well, has learnt the secret 
of a holy life." We cannot study the subject too much, nor 
would we be likely to practise too much. It is the key that opens 
an infinite treasury. Study the Old Testament examples of 
prayer ; they are most suggestive. See how they brought every- 
thing to God. Hear St. Paul : " In everything, by prayer and sup- 
plication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto 
God ; " and " Cast all your care upon God, for He careth for you " 
(St. Peter). It is wonderful, when we begin to study the subject, 
how it unfolds, how rich and inexhaustible it seems. As a study, 
Bickersteth is a great help. And it is by meditation on this 
theme we are greatly helped to pray with vivid faith and simple 
trust. Remember, too, the Heavenly High Priest knoweth how 
to have compassion, having been ".tempted in all points as we are, 
yet without sin," and He is u the same yesterday, to-day, and for- 
ever." He never wearies of our wants and cries. " Lo, I am 
with you alway." Rejoice in Him, trust in Him, lean upon Him, 
look to Him as " the way " to God, " the truth " of God, " the 
light " of the soul. Look to Him as your light, and let it be your 
daily question in simple, trusting, obedient love (as St. Paul looked 
up to Him after his conversion, and said), " Lord, what wilt Thou 
have me to do ? " 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 317 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, March 6, 1861. 

My dear Mrs. Gordon : It seems long, indeed, since I have 
heard from you, — I think three, if not four, months. I wrote you 
in September, I think, also in October, December, and January. 
I am confident there is at least one letter from you inclosed to 
your son, awaiting his return from the interior. We are in excel- 
lent health, and when I last wrote, I believe I spoke freely of my 
plans and hopes for the future. All was bright and happy. To- 
day my heart is oppressed with anxious, saddened thought, and 
that not for myself, nor is it my heart alone. We are all in deep 
affliction. For seven months, I think, the mission has received no 
remittance from home, and as the current expenses must go on, 
the mission is now twelve thousand dollars in debt to Russell & 
Co. This mail just arrived, March 4, gives no relief. Just think 
of it, no relief! — and advises the utmost reduction of every possible 
expense, and that immediately. And we are told that the political 
affairs had so affected business, as to tell already upon the receipts 
of the treasury ! If, then, in good times we were allowed to drift 
astern, what is to be hoped from difficult times, to say nothing of 
the deficiency to be made up ! We were anxious before the mail 
arrived — we are in distress now, and yet darker is the future. 
The bishop, as the responsible head of the mission, is placed in 
very trying circumstances. The day schools are to be stopped at 
once, though in my own case I get help from a friend for six 
months ; the English chaplain, the same friend who helped me 
before. The boys' school is to be broken up immediately, Mr. and 
Mrs. Doyen (those in care of it) to return home at once, — the 
school-building and lot to be sold if not at too much sacrifice. So 
much is decided upon. The next mail is expected on the 17th. 
If the relief afforded by that is not very great, the next step will 
be to send home three missionaries of the new set, just beginning to 
go to work, aud truly valuable people. Also with them must come 
some new arrangement of the girls' school, either reduction or sus- 
pension. One single gentleman, and Mr. and Mrs. Parker of the 
missionaries will then be left — the latter, persons of wealth from 
South Carolina — though they will be thrown on their own resour- 
ces. The bishop and Mrs. Boone and ourselves remain, the forlorn 
hope to keep the colors flying. As for us, we will sell off all but 
the merest necessaries in furniture before we will quit the field. 
Here is the plain statement, the calm recital of matters that con- 
cern our life-long work, to which we had devoted our thoughts and 
strength and time and life. Just as the horizon was clearing a 
little in China, so that missions are beginning to scatter, and to look 
out for new stations, lo ! the angry clouds settle over our own 



318 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

dear land, and the tempest threatens to be long and fearful. Had 
all gone well with us in China, we should have thought it sad 
enough to hear twice each month of tidings of disunion and bitter- 
ness. But now, added to all that, we feel for our " Columbia." 
To all our private anxieties there comes the stunning mandate, 
" go not forward," " stand not still," but " retreat." True, under 
the circumstances it is the only wise, prudent, nay, possible course. 
But at what a cost ! What a loss ! Oh, my dear friend, what 
shall I say, and who will help us ? I had fears that the zeal and 
love of our church was not equal to the sudden increase of our 
mission ; but I did not anticipate so immoderate a cooling of 
interest after the departure of so large a band from the shores of 
favored America. Oh, to see the professed followers of Him who 
11 for our sakes became poor," loaded with blessings, and so little 
to spare for these poor starving sheep in the wilderness ! How 
many in " that day " will be astonished when Christ shall say, 
11 Depart from me, for I was an hungered and ye gave me no 
meat, thirsty and ye gave me no drink ! " But I have not time 
to add more. I have tried to tell the story in as few words as 
possible. You can feel for us. The expenses for the year have, 

I believe, been about twenty-six thousand dollars. Divide this 
sum among the communicants of our church, and see how easily 
our China mission might be doubled. But, alas ! so many of 
those for whom Christ died, and who expect their own souls to be 
saved by Him, have no care for the heathen — so many of those 
who say, " Lord, Lord," yet utterly ignore His last command, 

II teach all nations," and even are bold enough to say, "I, / do 
not believe in foreign missions ! " You, dear friend, are not 
one of these ; but, alas ! how many there are ! And now my 
request is to all who have seen my face in Brooklyn, do what you 
can each for yourself; do what you can each with all whom you 
can interest, and who have never yet cared for China. Let each 
one take home all his responsibility in this crisis, not leave it to 
others. Let each build the wall against his own house — do all he 
can, by money, by influence, by conversation, and by real prayer, 
prayer that pities, prayer that loves, prayer that desires. I told 
you that the fifty dollars the ladies gave me, together with the 
thirty-eight from the Sunday school, was to be appropriated to the 
printing of the geography. But, unless I can get other help from 
home, that will have to be recalled, and go to my day school. 
Farewell ; pray for us. Love to all friends. Do write at once to, 

Yours, "cast down, but not destroyed," 

Caroline P. Keith. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 319 

TO THE SAME. 

Shanghai, March 16, 1861. 

My dear Friend and Sister : * * * I must tell you 
that Mr. Hayes [A. A. Hayes, jr., of Boston] and your son have 
become responsible for $50 toward my day school, which I 
thought was very handsome in two young men like them. The 
chaplain, Mr. Hobson, has also given me $100 (a thank-offering 
for the birth of their boy) to help on my schools. This will give 
me time to hear from friends, and, if affairs brighten, the mission 
may assume again the support of the schools. 

I have been writing a good deal lately, but I do not find my 
hopes as sanguine as they once were. And, with duty alone to 
animate, my pen seems to have lost its former spirit. I feel as 
though people at home were tired of hearing the old story and the 
old appeal, and I saw and felt, when I was at home, how little 
care there was to save the heathen. 

****** 

Excuse this poor scrawl. After our last mail, I had such 
headache for three or four days as I have seldom had, and it has 
settled into my eyes and made them inflamed and weak, a thing I 
never was troubled with before, so that I see things dimly. Yet 
I must write. 

TO HER NIECE. 

Shanghai, April 30, 1861. 

My dear Isabel : I am much obliged to you for the long and 
particular account you gave of yourself in your letter to me of 
December, lately received. I should think you would by this 
time have enough of mathematics to serve all the uses desirable 
for you, and I hope you will not prosecute it to the neglect of 
other studies, though I am glad you enjoy that class of studies and 
are thorough in them. I sympathize with you in your love and 
admiration for Latin, and among other uses of it for you, I shall 
expect it to increase your " bump of order." You will think that 
is a use too small to speak of, but not so. I am rather bookish 
than otherwise ; but I declare that an orderly woman, who could 
only read her own tongue, and knew nothing of the " trys " and the 
" ologies," and who understood and practised order, would be pre- 
ferred by me to the most learned woman in the world without it. 
But there is a time and a purpose to all things. The best is to be 
well cultivated and informed, and well formed in the habits of life. 
But these habits, like your knowledge of Latin and geometry, 
must come by little and little. Do you write " compositions " at 
all ? And what studies have you to cultivate the taste ? I am 
afraid these will be neglected. New England does not think 



320 MEMOIR OF MKS. KEITH. 

enough of this class of studies for females. I admire the cultiva- 
tion of the reasoning powers ; but a woman, who has not culti- 
vated the sense of the beautiful, in many ways is not well prepared 
to fill her place in this world. I would never place the cultiva- 
tion of the taste first, but I would not feel satisfied to have it 
overlooked. Your letter is a great improvement on any I have 
ever received from you, both in style and matter. I can scarcely 
realize that you are now sixteen, and that you will in a few months 
be as old as I was, when I was deprived of both parents. How 
inferior had been my advantages to yours ! I knew nothing worth 
mentioning of arithmetic, algebra, geometry, of French nothing, 
Latin but very little, music nothing. I sometimes think, how- 
ever, that my deepest, best thinking, though but half-developed, 
was done by that time. I am sure my character had taken its 
direction. Yet, except for the absolute duty of unquestioning 
submission to what God in His providence orders for us, I should 
never cease to regret that so late a start was given me in the race 
of knowledge, and so little real training. 

I am especially desirous that you should by no means omit the 
sciences. I forget whether you have attended to chemistry ; I 
would, by all means, have something of that, and still more, if 
practicable, of geology, but on no account omit botany. If you 
go to school in the country, you may get a chance at this, though 
New England is not so favorable a field for botany as warmer cli- 
mates. But, whether botany, as a science, can be cultivated by 
you or not, cultivate the love of flowers. Cultivate it by having 
a pot or two of your own, and a little spot where you can sow 
some seeds. Do not think this of no consequence ; it is of conse- 
quence, and it can and will be a recreation. In what I said of 
Greek I did not propose it for a study now ; but when you should 
have left school, you might study it with your father. But I 
would not care to know it as thoroughly as Latin. It is a more 
difficult language, and does not bear so near a relation to our 
tongue ; so would be neither so easily acquired nor so useful as 
Latin. I would like to know, not the Greek tragedians, but the 
force and meaning of the original of the New Testament. This is 
a study by itself, and I doubt not that in due time your father will 
not object, if you do not fail in the practical duties of life. 

I have said more than I meant to do about studies. But there 
are other things about which I am equally, if not more, anxious. 
I mean the cultivation of gentle manners and of a loving heart. 
I confess that much as I admire New England, I think New Eng- 
land ladies generally do not attach sufficient importance to gentle 
manners in ladies, and hence they are generally deficient in this 
matter. I suppose nothing so much hindered my fortunes in life, 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 321 

as my defects here. Of coarse, surrounding influences have you 
much in their power ; but if you think of the matter, and estimate 
it as it ought to be estimated, you can do much for yourself. 
You can have kind and gentle, though you may not have grace- 
ful, manners. 

As to the loving heart, I do not know where love can come 
from, except from God. Think of His love and become loving, 
by His blessing, which He will not fail to bestow, if you really 
ask. Never praise any person to obtain their good feeling toward 
you ; this is a motive far from noble. Even though what you say 
would be true, the end is selfish. Yet it is not wrong, I sup- 
pose, to act with a view to gaining love, though I doubt if the 
best love can ever be gained in this way. Be really loving, for- 
getful of self, and there is little doubt but love will be gained from 
those who are worthy and capable of love. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, June 29, 1861. 

My dear Brother : Our mail two weeks since brought the 
intelligence of the taking of Fort Sumter. It seemed long to 
wait for another mail, and yesterday it came, bringing news that 
has stirred every heart. I felt from the first that war must come, 
though, at one time, it seemed to me possible, if Virginia could 
resist secession, that it could be avoided. But the thought that 
there is really war between brethren, is like a heavy burden, and 
a strange shadow of sorrow sits on all our joys. * * * 

At one time, I feared the North would be induced to give up 
their great principle, and I could not see how that would be right ; 
and right seemed to me dearer than the Union. * * * 

We have received papers and news to April 27th, through 
English channels. It is thrilling to read of the real loyalty that is 
waked up. We seemed to have lost that noble sentiment. I felt 
a glow of satisfaction that it was Massachusetts troops that were 
first on the field ; that, if blood must be spilled, it was their's that 
witnessed to the cause of Freedom. The issue is to maintain the 
Government ; but, deeper down, it is to preserve liberty. I hope 
the North will act worthy of her cause. 

****** 

What do you think of one of the missionaries in Shanghai 
telling an Englishman, that if his own brother were an abolitionist, 
he should think it right to cut his throat ? and another said, that 
he would. never speak to such a brother. To such passions does 
the barbarism of slavery degrade men. 

God does rule among the nations ; and I think all Christians, 
14* 



322 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

both North and South, ought to feel that they have sinned by 
pride and vanity, if in no other way — boasting of America and 
its destiny, as though God were not at all in their thoughts. 
Yet, besides that, the North may feel that her cause is on the side 
of truth. How mournful it is to see Christians at the South ready 
to spill blood for the extension of slavery, and they call it a 
" glorious cause." Oh, the patience and long-suffering of God ! 
May we learn something of it, and be kept from bitterness. 

TO REV. E. W. SYLE. 

Shanghai, July 3, 1861. 

My dear Mr. Syle : How strange are the contrasts of life ! 
When we had just received the thrilling news that civil war in 
our native land had begun, and that blood had flowed, and that 
the country was everywhere answering to the summons for troops, 
to be equipped for deadly strife — when emotions, deep, strong, 
inexpressible, were swelling my heart — I opened a letter from you, 
written the 12th of March, in mid-ocean, in happy ignorance of the 
upheavings in the United States. And this letter, far from allud- 
ing to any of these mortal or temporal affairs with which our com- 
mon life is bound up, was entirely occupied in a review of a book 
entitled the " Higher Life." I was disappointed. I wanted to 
hear of you, your children, your and my friends, and much else. 
I fully expected some other of our mission had received a full let- 
ter, but none came to hand. It was, by the way, to all a thin 
mail, and we had no news from Miss Jones, whose last was from 
Marseilles. — Before proceeding to common matters, I must reply 
to the subject of your letter as concisely as possible, premising that 
it used to seem to me that you approached the subject specula- 
tively, and not with the hearty seeking which alone makes discus- 
sion on such subjects profitable. I was in error, perhaps, but such 
was the impression upon me. I did not put the book in your 
way — I do not admire it. I agree with you in the fault you find 
with it, and also in the opinion, or feeling, rather, that there are 
interesting and^ profitable thoughts contained in it. It seems to 
have been blessed to many, not by means of his theory (for he 
seems to have none), but, as I suppose, by his examples in illustra- 
tion. But, with you, I ask, where is this better way that he 
expects to show us ; so much better than "Wesley or Finney urge 
upon Christians ? He is, as you seem to think, where all earnest 
Christians " are who seek to grow in grace, and have learned that 
the way of faith is the shorter way. But he shrinks from Scrip- 
ture terms, Christian requirements, and invents a phrase far more 
objectionable than perfectionism, a word, by the way, mark you, 
never used by Wesley or Finney, and which throws an unjust 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 323 

prejudice on the truth. I do not agree with you that he sketches 
happily or fairly the Wesleyan or Finneyite view. I have 
studied these often. He mystifies you as to what their real view 
is, though he seems to give it, and he gives so meagre a sketch, 
that it is equivalent to a misrepresentation. I think Boardman 
has stirred feeling in many, but failing to give something definite, 
but little fruit will be the result of his book. You ask, in an 
underscored line, what are my " individual convictions." I hope 
I may be more fortunate than before, when you have been puzzled 
to understand me. I will be brief, for I do not intend to argue, 
and I will ask you, if really interested, to read one or two small 
books which I will name. It is my deep, firm, and earnest con- 
viction, that it is the duty and the privilege of the Christian to 
be, according to the expression of the apostle, 1 Thess. v. 23, 24, 
sanctified, " wholly in body, soul, and spirit ; " that he may find 
the blood of Christ u cleanseth from all sin," from " all unrighteous- 
ness ; " that he may u reckon himself to be dead unto sin, but alive 
unto God ; " that he may be made ** free from sin," and " become 
servant to God," having K fruit and holiness ; " that he may 
cleanse himself from " all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfect- 
ing holiness in the fear of God " — in a word, I believe the 8th 
chapter of Romaus to mean what it says, and the Eph. iii. 19, 20, 
to mean what it says. But as the Pharisees made void the law 
through their traditions, so has a philosophical, technical theology 
taken the simple force away from plain Scripture. I believe that 
sanctification is not brought about by the formation of holy habits, 
but results from the renunciation of sel^ and the appreciation of 
Christ in all his fulness. If you want to know what I mean by 
this, please read Finney's " Guide to the Savior " — a profitable 
book, even to one who may not be ready to receive all his views. 
I believe sanctification, as justification, is to be attained by faith, 
not by any stock of grace we can gradually lay up for ourselves. 
Daily manna ! faith by the moment ! The just shall live by faith ! 
" Purifying your hearts by faith" — this is the way. I believe 
Christ may be received as an indwelling Savior, and "what 
agreement has the temple of God with idols ? " I believe the 
child of God may be kept from all known sin, and so walk worthy 
of the Lord, unto all pleasing ; that, in the words of St. John, he 
may " sin not," and that they who say they abide in him, ought 
" also to walk as he walked ; " that, as he was, so should we be, 
in this world ; that this is the victory that overcometh, even our 
faith. Is not the Captain of our salvation able to make us con- 
querors ? Why, then, always go mourning, defeated, in bondage, 
giving an occasion to the scoffer to say, " where is their God ? " 
Is He not able to make all grace abound unto all sufficiency in 



324 MEMOIB OF MRS. KEITH. 

every work ? Oh, why will not we take God at his word, offer 
ourselves a "living sacrifice," and find Him our Almighty- 
Savior? Why not let Scripture mean what it says, and then, 
with a perfect heart, like the apostle, say, " I have not attained 
(the goal), not found the perfection (of the resurrection) ; but 
this one thing do " — yes, " as many as be perfect," let us do this 
"one thing." Oh, if we did this one thing — were absorbed in 
doing the will of God — we should find his meaning where he says, 
" go on to perfection," and " this will we do." But are you not 
aware that the large majority of professors are forever "laying 
again the foundations," and not " leaving the doctrine of repen- 
tance," etc. What is there wonderful in his belief? Is it not 
according to what it might have been expected such a God as 
ours to do for us ? The price of our redemption was great ; why 
might it not have been expected that Jesus gave himself to redeem 
us from all iniquity, and make us a " peculiar people, zealous of 
good works? " We are called to "put on all the armor and with- 
stand ; and having done all, to stand " — not fall : to conquer — not 
be conquered ! — But I must check my pen. I hope I have made 
myself understood as to my "convictions." I have endeavored to 
be clear and concise. I rather incline to the Oberlinian philosophy 
of sanctification ; but, in fact, Finney is one with Wesley. If you 
have never read Wesley or Fletcher on Christian perfection, and 
really wish to " prove all things," it would be well to look at them. 
But I prefer Mahan on Christian perfection. I suppose that is 
heretical ; but then, St. Paul was, in the view of some, a heretic — 
and also Wickliffe and Cramer and Luther and Fenelon. So the 
word is not so frightful to me as it would be to some. But, what- 
ever you don't read, please get Finney's " Guide to the Savior." 
And now, one word as to the doctrine as liable to abuse and to be 
misunderstood. And, by the way, the term is Christian perfec- 
tion, that is, — to be all that sinners redeemed can become in the 
strength and fulness of Christ. Thou shalt call His name Jesus, 
for He shall save His people from — what? future punishment? — 
no — from their " sins." Ask yourself if there is any doctrine of 
the Bible not liable to abuse — to misconstruction and misrepresen- 
tation. Another word as to there being a peculiar danger of pride 
springing up. As to the theory, if all is of grace through faith, do 
you not see there is no room for pride ? And this I take to be 
the reason why those who are laboring in the old notion of work- 
ing out their sanctification, complain so much of self-righteousness 
— that "works" is the condition of its attainment, not "faith." 
And, on the contrary, all who profess to have tasted of this great 
salvation, will testify that they never else so learnt their own 
unworthiness and emptiness. They look to Christ for all things, 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 325 

for He is head over all things to His church. They are not kept 
thinking of themselves and weighing to-day's attainments with 
yesterday's, and self-examinations and repentings, and getting 
proud of repenting and all that — they are looking to Jesus and are 
changed into His image and rejoice in Him (not in themselves) 
" with joy unspeakable and full of glory." Boardman is afraid of 
Scripture and Scripture terms — why, men have always stumbled 
at Scripture and always will as long as anti-Christ is abroad. 
" To the law and to the testimony " — search and look. God gives 
us teachable hearts and obedient wills. Do you say there has 
never been any one, whom you judged to have been in the enjoy- 
ment of this state ? There are several replies that might be made 
to that objection. I would suggest that you might not be in a 
favorable condition, subjectively, for judging, for your idea of 
what was proposed as attainable might be excessive. Most Chris- 
tians say, " We don't live up to our privileges." St. Paul says, 
* A conscience void of offence." But I said, I did not intend to 
argue, only to state my convictions ; but I know so well the ques- 
tions that spring up in the consideration of this question, that I 
cannot help touching upon them. And I know you will ask, 
" How is it that persons lose this grace and fall back ? " Let 
me ask you how Adam fell from a perfection, admitted to be 
higher than is now attainable ? Entire consecration and simple 
faith, unhesitating obedience to the dictates of conscience and the 
Spirit — if these fail in the least, the separation is begun, and the 
soul loses that intimate and tender union with the Savior, in 
which alone it was secure from the attacks and temptations with 
which in this militant state we shall ever be beset. One word 
more. You will desire to know if I have had an experience of 
this state. To the praise of the wonders of God's grace, and also 
the confession of my own unspeakable unworthiness, I must con- 
fess that at two periods of my life, for weeks, I knew in a large 
degree these things, by an experience which I could no more 
explain away as not the result of this faith, than I could explain 
away all else that I have known and felt. I fell from this — my 
sin was, oh, how great ! My subsequent sorrows — oh, how bit- 
ter ! My spiritual desolation — oh, how fearful ! None but God 
knew it all. Again, in wonderful, wonderful love, He led me 
back ; again I proved the power that is in Christ, again my faith 
failed and my strength was gone ; the enemy prevailed, and sad- 
ness brooded over a heart that might have rejoiced evermore and 
with joy unspeakable. I believe God calls us to be witnesses for 
Him and for His grace, to His praise in various ways, according to 
our sphere of action and our opportunities. I shrank from this, 
and my candlestick was removed. This road, this highway of 



326 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

holiness is very narrow. To swerve is to leave it. But I cannot 
deny my belief and my experimental knowledge of the truth that 
God is able to keep us from falling ; but, it is in His way, not 
ours. The forbearance of God, how wonderful ! This year has 
been, to me, one of much spiritual enjoyment, and I may say, vic- 
tory, especially lately ; and I am striving after " one thing," and 
looking to Him to keep me — knowing that He is faithful. I trust 
that I am kept. May I never wander more. The state of which 
I am speaking is one which makes growth in grace necessary and 
especially rapid. Would you not expect a garden to grow faster 
when the weeds had been exterminated ? Christ can reign alone 
in the heart, and then the fruits of holiness abound. Depend upon 
it, the Christian, in the enjoyment of this union with his M head," 
has a power with men and with God, in spiritual things, quite 
astounding to himself. And now I have said all that I shall say, 
though the subject is most momentous and interesting. I do not 
approve of writing essays across three seas ; but for this once I 
felt it right to comply with what seemed to be your wish. May 
God bless the writing to me, and the reading thereof to you. 
Again, I say, search and look ; and especially remember a pro- 
found truth of our religion, " believe and know." Ye will not be- 
lieve, therefore shall ye not be established. May Christ, the way, 
the truth, the light, be revealed to us by the Holy Spirit, in a 
manner that the natural man cannot discern or understand. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

ShaDghai, Aug. 30, 186L 

My dear Brother : It was very refreshing to me to get such 
a nice, fat package of letters from you and Lizzie and Isabel, as 
I received last Monday. 

And first in answer, as in order of topics and in interest, is the 
war. From the first I saw no human chance of avoiding a war ; 
but I had no " realizing sense " of the coldness and division of 
the North before the taking of Sumter, until the mail brought 
news of that event. Then expressions in private letters (more 
reliable and more graphic than newspapers) horrified me in reveal- 
ing the precipice on which the nation had stood so quietly. For- 
tunately, the mail that brought us the particulars of Sumter 
(though the incredible and uncredited rumor had reached us ear- 
lier), told us of the troubles in Baltimore, and the passage through 
of the troops. Still, I did not take a full breath till next mail, 
when I knew that Washington was amply strengthened. With 
the Sumter mail news, came your Boston papers, carrying me 
more fully into New England and the deeds of her soldiers. I 
read the news and the incidents, and cried and laughed, and wiped 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 327 

my tears, and went through all sorts of emotions. But I was glad 
that Massachusetts should be on the spot first, that if blood must 
be spilt, it was hers, and that her troops hitherto are an honor to 
the land of the Puritans. (I don't admire the Puritans as a whole, 
you must know ; but honor to whom honor is due.) I believe 
that sad, dark, distressing as this war is, fearful as is the evil of 
war, looked at in every moral, social, and physical aspect, great 
good will come from it. Our politicians were fearfully corrupt, 
and the people were willing to have it so. Too many loved their 
own firesides too well to do the duty of men and patriots. Be- 
sides, they were too busy making their fortunes. The mercenary 
mind had eaten into our people like a canker. Our nation will 
now be energized, elevated by a grand idea. 

TO MRS. WILLIAM C. TENNEY. 

My dear Sister : shanghai, Sept., i86i. 

****** 

I love to think of that little smiling girl. I am glad that it is 
a girl. I want both the little ones to love me. It may be they 
will never see me, or it may be they will be the light of my old 
age, or it may be that I may be to them a friend indeed ; at any 
rate, " love is a present for a mighty king." I hope I shall be 
able to send the last comer something pretty ; but I don't want 
any of my things to get astray among the Confederates. * * * 
God has poured upon me so much of His goodness and gifts these 
last years, that I am deeply indebted to do all I can in any way 
to add to the happiness of others. I often think of you. The 
quiet days I spent with you in America are among my pleasantest 
recollections. How I should love to return the kindness in kind, 
if it were consistent with my appointed lot ; only I would have 
you spared the sickness. And yet, through that sickness I have 
learned to enjoy health, and to take life as a daily gift. * - * * 

I sympathize with you in the gloom caused by this war ; it 
seems ever to be over me. Yet I can sometimes forget, by the 
aid of distance and foreign scenes ; but you are ever kept reminded 
that the flower of the country is devoted to the war. If it shall 
restrict slavery and tend to freedom, it will be worth all it costs ; 
above all, it may purify our country of its great corruptions. I 
see, with regret, the feeling toward England ; yet I have felt from 
the tone of English papers (after the first month) that it must 
arise. Yet, underneath, the best people of England are not heard. 
Not that they care for our Union ; but they do desire to see sla- 
very checked, and the opium trade, too. I wonder that an anti- 
opium Wilberforce does not arise to wage war against that evil. 



328 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

TO REV. E. W. SYLE. 

Shanghai, Sept. 21, 1861. 
****** 

By the way, if I was in America, I should try hard to get 
Mrs. Schimmelpenninck's tract, showing the difference between 
Jewish and West Indian slavery, and entitled, " Is Slavery Justified 
or Condemned by Scripture ? " because, I think, a republication of 
it might be useful, — so many good people now are fortifying them- 
selves in the evil system by looking to " Scripture." The terms 
of controversy are not, perhaps, wisely chosen, being generally, 
14 Is Slavery Allowed or Forbidden by Scripture ? " Now (though 
it is not that abominable system American slavery) it is " allowed," 
and not M forbidden ; " yet, if anything is plain that cannot be 
mathematically proved, if anything can be trusted to the moral 
sense, it is the fact that " slavery " is not "justified," and is " con- 
demned " by Scripture. 

****** 

Legh Richmond, when dying, exclaimed, as in view of the 
state of Christians, " We are all half asleep." So, I believe, still 
more emphatically may it be said, as to the subject of prayer. In 
regard to earnestness and faith therein, we are not half awake. It 
is said in Bedell's " Life " that he came very late into a mission- 
ary meeting (or " Bible meeting ") where he was expected to 
speak. Many had already spoken. He took a subject nOne other 
had touched (he judged wisely), and said, " Let us do it ; we can 
do it by prayer." Ah, yes, if there is prayer, real prayer, there 
will be all else that is necessary. But, to pray well, one must live 
well, must live to God ; and to live to God is to die to all that 
" the world " loves and seeks. Israel prevailed against Amalek — 

when ? 

****** 

Mr. Keith perseveres in his translations and at his dictionary. 
The latter grows ; but what a labor ! We have taken, for amuse- 
ment, an hour after dinner, reading the Chinese (romanized) 
novels. After tea, if no other engagement prevents, we take 
Worcester's Dictionary. Mr. K. selects the English words ; I 
write them in a blank book with the Chinese synonyms, which 
he tells me from memory or his vocabulary. We find the exercise 
very interesting, and to me it is most instructive. My only dan- 
ger is of getting so much interested that sleep is scared away. In 
that case I have to resort to the water cure physicians' prescription, 
which, though given in high language about the will and elec- 
tricity and the extremities, means, try to think of your toes for ten 
minutes. The consequence is loss of consciousness ; in plain Eng- 
lish — sleep. * * * 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 329 

For my school I have still some money, and have not needed 
to call on H. and G. As to " active labor," I could find enough 
to do to keep me busy, and it suits my temperament, and the 
Christian desire that all missionaries must feel to seek the "lost 
sheep." But then, as a teacher, I do so feel what a need there is 
of books, that I see enough for two heads and four hands like mine 
for five years to come. The question is, to do what is the most 
imperative, and for which I am best fitted. What inclines me to 
book making as the specialty is, that so few will do it. Besides, 
if God please, they shall work when this hand and this tongue 
have returned to dust. * * * 

My most matured idea of the school wanted, is on this wise. 
Let there be twenty boys, or, at the very outside, twenty-five. 
Let these be gathered in, not all at once, but slowly, with care in 
the selection. At the head let there be a clerical instructor (no 
more laymen, in the name of all that is wise). Let him not sacri- 
fice the high calling of a minister, but, being " apt to teach," and 
gifted with ruling powers, let the school form one branch of his 
labor, and in this let him be assisted by a true " helpmeet," intel- 
ligent, educated, quick to see, ready and able to do, prepared to 
aid in teaching, somewhat, and, above all, having a moral power, 
the result of character moulded and governed by Christian loving- 
ness. A motherly heart — alas, you will say — where is this cou- 
ple ? Mr. and Mrs. Brown approximated to this, did they not ? 
Are there not more such in America ? and in our church ? I 
more and more feel that the school must be so small as to have a 
family stamp. It will do more to form the characters we need to 
go out to do good in China, than all that the whole company of 
" professors," if here by scores, could do for that end or any other 
equally valuable. Look for such a minister and such a minister's 
wife. How few are the laymen who, even to the degree of the 
coldest minister, consider themselves as bound to the service of 
God. 

And here I must say one word — oh, I could write pages, and I 
am sure I could preach sermons ! — as to the efforts of missionaries 
when at home. I felt when there, and since my return, in think- 
ing of the past, I am more deeply convinced, that the most im- 
portant thing is not to tell of China or Africa, or this or that inci- 
dent. All that, indeed, in its place ; but first, go back to princi- 
ples, and though it seem to go against the apostolic rule (only in 
seeming), I fear it would have to be "first principles." To me, 
the Christian church, as a body, seem not to have even a dim con- 
ception of what their claim to be Christians takes for granted. In 
fact, they do not feel, they do not remember, that they are "not 
their own." It seemed to me, if this point were pressed with 



330 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

more simplicity, with more directness, with more of the power of 
the Spirit, that more would be effected than by trying to build 
where there is only a sandy foundation. 

May God help us, as missionaries, to live as those who are 
" soldiers," ready to follow and to fight ! 



TO MRS. GORDON. 



Shanghai, Oct. 23, 1861. 



As a mission it is resolved among us to try to dispense for the 
present with one tenth of the salary hitherto allowed, that we may 
meet the Committee in their embarrassments, and be in sympathy 
with so many at home who suffer in estate. When I tell you 
that everything is one third dearer than when I began housekeep- 
ing in 1854, and some things one half dearer, you may imagine 
that the one tenth minus will be felt. Of course, the remainder 
will allow of no new clothes, unless we give up our charities, and 
that, I hope, will be the last thing we retrench. While we have 
so many comforts, I should be ashamed to do that. * * * Do 
not think we are too engrossed in our own work to feel the difficul- 
ties of the people of our country. Our hearts ache and our eyes 
weep over them, as from mail to mail we get new tidings ; but this 
slackness of the church is no new thing, and did I not look up to 
God for strength and on to duty, I must give up in despair to see 
the real insensibility of the church at home to the glory and exten- 
sion of the kingdom of Him to whom they owe "every hope and 
every real joy. I felt it so deeply, when at home, that it did par- 
alyze and discourage me to a sinful extent ; hope almost died. 

And now, amid the grief and woe that must shadow so many 
hearts in our own unhappy country, who will heed the distress- 
ing news of the cruel murder by the rebels at the North of 
two valuable missionaries ? — one of them a beloved member of our 
own mission, Rev. Henry Parker. You will learn particulars 
through other pens and through papers ; but I will mention a few. 
[Here follows an account of the murder.] Mr. Parker was a 
wealthy man ; but he counted nothing dear to him but duty to 
his Master. " One thing I do," might be truly said of him. He 
was very generous, kind, affable, and more a favorite with all than 
any missionary I ever saw. 

Anarchy prevails through China ; government is lost ; differ- 
ent bands of rebels waste and destroy in different parts. Perhaps 
it is thus that God will " overturn and overturn and overturn " till 
China shall be ready to receive the gospel. 

Of our own country, what shall be said ? But there, at least, 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 331 

they have the gospel and the hope of a " better land." I deeply 
feel that, as a nation, we deserved punishment. 

This has been a sad, sad year to us ; one after another of mis- 
sionaries has departed. 

TO REV. DR. BLODGETT. 

Shanghai, Sunday, Nov. 3, 1861. 

My dear Mr. Blodgett : You will wonder that I write, and 
that to you, on this day ! But why not record the thoughts that 
fill the mind and heart in connection with an event, sad to us and 
to many, but joyous to him whom we mourn ! You will soon 
learn from other sources the departure of Eev. Dr. Bridgman for 
his heavenly home ! This event took place yesterday, after a 
short but severe illness. Only last Sunday he was in the pulpit at 
the London chapel, and even so late as Tuesday was not confined 
to his bed. His age was just sixty, and he bade as fair for an- 
other half score of years as any one of us. But his warfare is 
accomplished, and he has entered into rest — eternal, blissful rest. 
His end, as you would expect, was peace, perfect peace, resting, 
without a doubt or fear, on his Almighty Savior. His widow, be- 
reaved of the companion of seventeen years, between whom and 
herself existed a union uncommonly dear and tender, bears the sor- 
row with simple and childlike trust, thankful that God sustained 
her to attend him to the last. It was but Friday week that she 
returned from a trip made necessary by her own enfeebled health. 
Of him, with peculiar emphasis, it may be said, " He was a good 
man, and a faithful servant of his Master." If I were asked what, 
in my judgment, characterized him most, I should answer in the 
words of Scripture, that he kept "the unity of the spirit in the 
bond of peace." Those who have seen him under circumstances 
very trying to the spirit of most, say that his meekness was unfail- 
ing. The last time he was at the " Monthly Concert " (and he 
never failed to be present there without good reason), his subject 
was " brotherly love," a favorite topic with him ; and at this occa- 
sion he urged it by our Master's argument : " By this shall all men 
know that ye are my disciples." Had he lived to the age of the 
" beloved apostle," I doubt not but the unfeigned utterance of 
his heart would have found expression in the oft-repeated injunc- 
tion which fell from the lips of that saint and martyr : " Little chil- 
dren, love one another." And, being dead, his life still speaketh 
to all who have known him ; and the cold clay seems to say even 
yet, " Little children, love one another." I know so well, my 
dear friend, your deep and sustained interest in the work of " for- 
eign missions," and your affection for those engaged in them, even 



332 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

though you may not have seen their faces in the flesh, that I am 
assured of your sympathy when bereavements come. Still more 
peculiarly will this be the case when the missionary is connected 
with the American Board. And all who contribute to sustain 
their enterprises and labors are familiar with the name of Dr. 
Bridgman as the first American missionary to China, coming out 
in 1829, when this empire was closed to foreigners, except at one 
port. He came to Canton and labored patiently there for fifteen 
years, alone most of the time. In that year, 1845, he married; 
and if " a good wife is from the Lord," then most certainly the 
Lord provided him with a companion most completely adapted to 
his wants. Eminently useful and happy have they been together, 
each assisting and strengthening the other in their various plans 
and labors. Few women in China have been as acceptable and 
useful in their labors for the Chinese as Mrs. Bridgman. Last 
winter she was quite ill, and we almost feared that her work was 
done. She is far from strong now, though she has work enough 
on her hands to demand the vigor of youth for its accomplishment. 
If she does not abate her labors she will soon follow her husband 
— and I know of none to fill her place. Most of the missionaries, 
and especially the missionaries' wives, are so young that they are 
not so well prepared to have influence over the Chinese. Few 
can stay to be old ; and since the opening of the five ports there 
has scarcely been time for the young to acquire age and its expe- 
rience, although approaching those honors ! Dr. Bridgman will 
be missed by all in Shanghai. The American merchants highly 
respected him, and some of them cherished for him a warm affec- 
tion. All the missionaries revered him as an old and faithful sol- 
dier in an enemy's country. Marrying, as he did, a lady from our 
mission, its older members certainly felt a peculiar interest in his 
labors and happiness ; and of late years, since his residence in 
Shanghai, his house has been in the same street and very near. 
We were the nearest neighbors ; and daily shall we miss the 
sight of his cheerful face, and the sound of his kind voice, as he 
met us in the house or by the way. It was ever a real enjoyment 
to us to see him going out for his daily ride on horseback with 
Mrs. B., or with a little, motherless child, for whom they were car- 
ing, placed before him on the horse, or with two other orphan 
children under their roof skipping after him. He looked so full 
of happiness that it was as a sunshine to us ; and life, not death, 
was in all our thoughts of him. What do I say ? Surely it is 
now life more abundantly, life perfected, life eternal. He has 
awakened in the likeness of Him he loved, and is satisfied forever- 
more. But we miss him here, his work misses him, his friends 
miss, and we shall look for him, and look in vain. We can only 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 333 

lift our eyes and pray, " Help, Lord, for the godly man ceaseth," 
" the faithful fail." The laborers — oh, how few and how rapidly 
the past thirty months have thinned ! He will be laid by the 
side of Macy and Aitchison's monument in the cemetery at this 
place. That monument was erected by the Chinese, the former 
pupils, I believe, of Mr. Brown's school at Hong Kong. By the 
peculiar favor of a kind Providence, Mr. Brown (formerly of your 
Board, but now of the Reformed Dutch Board), of Japan, arrived 
here on Tuesday to attend to some business, and has been at hand 
to nurse and cheer his old friend and fellow laborer. He, with 
Bishop Boone, one of his next oldest friends, indeed, an earlier 
acquaintance, was with him all the time after the disease assumed 
its dangerous character, which it did on Wednesday. It was a 
comfort to him, and a privilege to them. His end was peace, per- 
fect peace, simple, unshaken faith. " Oh, death, where is thy 
sting ? " was his wondering exclamation. To-day, in the English 
church, the chaplain preached a funeral discourse from the words, 
" Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord." 

Wednesday, Nov. §ih.—\ must hastily finish my sad letter, 
for the mail leaves to-day. On Monday last our friend was com- 
mitted to the grave, attended by a large concourse of friends, the 
merchants as well as the missionaries. Mr. Brown officiated in 
the mortuary chapel, making some very appropriate remarks, and 
offering prayer. The Scripture was that chosen and arranged for 
the burial service of the dead in our church. Oh, how precious 
those words are to the aching and fearful heart, as the dust is 
committed to its kindred dust to hear the voice, as from heaven, 
speaking over the grave, " I am the resurrection and the life " ! 



TO MISS PLUMER. 

Shanghai, Nov. 20, 1861. 
****** 

If the North is not true to herself, and makes an unrighteous 
compromise, before the soldiers now in the field shall have grown 
gray headed, another and fiercer war will come on. It may be a 
seven years' or a twenty years' war, now ; but it is the true wis- 
dom to settle well, now, the foundations. Yet there are so many 
who have no power to look beyond the present. I have a cor- 
respondent in Boston, who is an echo of the Journal of Com- 
merce. 

****** 

Our treasury sends us no money, and we are living on the 
results of the sale of our boys' school ; and, owing to the previous 
involvement, that is nearly exhausted. We may be all broken up 



334 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

in a year from this, and be obliged to go home. May God spare 
our church the guilt and the disgrace, and us the pain. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Shanghai, Dec. 17, 1861. 

****** 

I notice what you say on religious matters, and as to Unita- 
rians and Episcopalians, and I can understand your feelings and, to 
some degree, sympathize with you in them. As to the " lack of 
earnestness " among both, I feel that Episcopalians have less 
excuse ; for, verily, I see nothing that Unitarians have to bring 
out an earnestness sufficient to counteract the natural human iner» 
tia. There are many, many, many most earnest, devoted, spiritu- 
ally minded ones among Episcopalians, with whom I have found 
the purest religious enjoyment ; but I have not done wondering 
that the proportion of such to the whole body is not larger than it 
is. If in that one point only, I can assure you my gain was im- 
mense in turning away from Unitarians to Episcopalians ; but I 
was not and am not blind to what Episcopalians, as a body, lack. 
Besides the " gain " to me above alluded to, the " order " and 
M worship " of our church are a continual feast and joy. But 
they who would feel this entirely must " live in the family." I 
believe that a Christian character modelled from early youth by 
the teaching of the Prayer Book, and inspired by its reverent, 
humble, trusting, joyful, filial spirit, is more likely to be a beauti- 
ful and symmetrical one than that trained in any other school. 
But then, practically, we see the Prayer Book through and by the 
minister to whose teaching we listen. He may be a dry sacra- 
mentarian, or he may be a severe Calvinist, or he may be a mere 
formalist, not deeply convinced of, or impelled by, any great 
truth. Few could get behind such a difficulty. Leighton and 
Jeremy Taylor seem to me to have lived in the spirit of the 
Prayer Book. There is a slight asceticism about both. Query : 
Does it belong to the Prayer Book? If so, something is erro- 
neous ; there is surely no asceticism in the New Testament. As 
to the remark that " Unitarians and Episcopalians [laymen] are 
very much alike," there is a phase of truth in it. But I do not 
think it is a common lack of earnestness that causes the similar- 
ity, whatever it may be. I think it is the excess in both of the 
aesthetic sensibilities. An Episcopalian, though he believes in 
very solemn and momentous truths, and thinks it most becoming 
and most important to be solemn and even earnest in the proper 
place and proper way, and at the proper time, could yet, on no 
account, transgress his law of what is proper ; that is, his taste in 
religious actings. The aesthetic nature rules ; and where this is 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 335 

bo, the likeness comes out most strongly between Unitarians and 
Episcopalians. Their tastes, respectively, may and do differ ; but 
taste is lawgiver, and the other parts of the soul are overshad- 
owed, and the stronger faculties (naturally) become the weaker. 
But among no body of Christians (and you know I have mixed 
somewhat with all), is there such a " holy horror " of the Unita- 
rian doctrine as among Episcopalians. The reason is, that the 
Trinitarian doctrines are ever kept before the mind in our wor- 
ship ; they cannot be left out. Williams, Jowett, and Temple 
may bestultify, or bevillain their consciences, but the " doctrines " 
and the form of words must continue to be heard from their lips in 
the service. They who listen and believe in sincerity, have their 
minds filled with what seems to them plain Scripture teaching ; 
the echo is ever on their ears. In any other body it is not so. 
One minister may pray according to Calvin, and read only from 
the Epistle to the Romans ; another may pray like a mere Deist, 
and read an extract from " Evangel " or " Psalm." Of course, 
when I speak of these differences, I am not unmindful that great 
varieties of character and great diversities of mind and opinion are 
formed under each kind of teaching. Nevertheless, there is, for 
all that, a characteristic tone and result in each distinctive body 
of Christians, and there are a thousand influences outside. I 
understand your idea, referring to the Essay of Martineau, i. e., the 
ethical, the passionate, the spiritual, "one gospel in many dialects." 
According to my judgment, our church alone makes full provision 
for each and all these natures, in its doctrines, order of worship, 
&c, and is calculated, and is better calculated than any other for 
the symmetrical development of these in their different combina- 
tions and proportions. For instance, take an individual having 
all these " natures " combined in more or less harmony or excess. 
I might as well call the individual " I." Well, let " I " find her- 
self in, or seek the culture of the Presbyterian Church. The 
ethical is cultivated all the time, till, by and by, nothing is relished 
but a prayer in which the whole character of God is didactically 
dwelt upon, or a written sermon, planned and built by measure 
and plummet, having all mysteries so clearly explained that light 
turns into darkness. All emotion is to be so deep as never to be 
seen. (N. B. — If you have ever studied the " Lives " of Presby- 
terians, or Sprague's " Ecclesiastical Biographies," you will find it 
very noticeable that when emotion among Presbyterians breaks 
the limits, it exceeds even the Methodists. Several instances in 
point occur to me.) Again "I" seeks the Methodists. They 
cultivate the " passionate " (or " emotional ") till ethics are lost in 
the fog, and " orthodoxy " of sentiment lives a fitful and sickly 
life, the sesthetical is utterly lost and dead, and the " spiritual " 



336 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

has no leisure and no retiracy of soul, wherein to cultivate its 
growth, even under the secret of the Almighty and the shadow 
of His wings. Great, very great, as are the faults of the Method- 
ists, yet, with my nature, I could find a place and nourishment 
among them better than among the Presbyterians. But the Mo- 
ravians are a tertium quid. Thank God, I am shut up to neither 
of them. I feed in pastures, which are calculated to nourish the 
whole nature. 

Now, my dear brother, you will not understand this long dis- 
course (sermo) as intended controversially. When I have a 
leisure afternoon like this, I like to let out my thoughts to my 
only brother. The circumstances of life are very real, and very 
near ; its stern yoke is sometimes very heavy upon us, and we 
become worn and fretted by petty, yet necessary cares. It is 
soothing, if not elevating, to turn our minds to thoughts akin at 
least to more enduring and satisfying things, to the life of the 
soul, and to what best nourishes and forms that life. One word as 
to what you say of the value of " aspirations " * as developing the 
religious nature. I feel with you, I am sure, to some degree, on 
this subject. I can only explain the fact that so little use is made 
of it, by two other common and sad facts, viz. : the low religious 
life of religious teachers (among all), and the fact that memory — 
too faithful, but a bitter friend — breathes upon " aspiration," and it 
withers. We judge of the future by the past, of God's treasury 
by our own leanness, and a half despair seizes us, that is ruinous 
to strength, as self-confidence is to safety and true progress, and 
so we settle down into a formal, monotonous, joyless, and in the 
same measure, unfruitful life. If lofty resolve and aspiration could 
join indissolubly with humble dependence on Divine strength, we 
should have more occasion to give thanks as conquerors than now ; 
and while " sin " is the stern fact of our race and our life, brought 
to light with every day's toil and pain and weariness and sorrow, 
there would be more thanks for " redemption," real and near, 
brought down to our low condition and pressing needs. In some 
such thoughts as these perhaps there is somewhat in common to 
us ; and yet, if so, the substratum of these thoughts in each of our 
minds, how different ! Turn to the " Prayer of St. Chrysostom " 
in our Prayer Book. I scarce ever hear or use it that I do not 
bear you on my heart before God. " Knowledge of Thy truth " 
and u life everlasting ! " Nor do I forget my own ignorance or 
liability to error. Reversing your expression, I may say, "I 

* A large part of Beecher's power over men is, he wakes them to aspire. 
But men are often such clods that their aspiring faculties seem too deeply 
buried ever to be raised. 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 337 

would not be a Unitarian, if I could, and I could not, if I would ; " 
for, if Jesus of Nazareth were not He whom it is lawful to wor- 
ship as truly God, then the whole Bible would be a riddle to me. 
If now I understand little, then I should be utterly in the dark, 
and go whither I was fast tending in 1843 — to utter, comfortless 
unbelief. Jesus is the Being held up for the gaze, the love, the 
worship of the world, yea, of the hosts of heaven, and for all eter- 
nity. And on this view, of course, turn all systems of theology. 
" What think ye of Christ ? " is the keynote, and, according as 
another soul can answer with ours to this interrogation is there 
" unity " and " harmony." It is all folly for Unitarians to com- 
plain of the feeling and opinion toward them from other denomi- 
nations. Fixed in our nature are the laws that rule here, and no 
got up " charity " and " harmony " will ever reconcile that which 
cannot be reconciled. " Cannot be reconciled," I say, because at 
the bottom there is that which is always and only utterly antago- 
nistic, hostile, and irreconcilable. To love all is a plain duty ; but 
to call black white and white black, is to be either a fool or a 
hypocrite. Plain speaking, therefore, never troubles me, and I 
hate false glosses. All u shams" are hateful. Alas, alas! that so 
much of the lives of real Christians (as we may hope them to be) 
should be so hollow and sham-like. 

I have indulged in this long talk at the expense of other mat- 
ter. If Lizzie hears you read all this, I predict she will pronounce 
it very dull, and a waste of ink ; for I imagine she is one of those 
who are in the habit of thinking (and of acting according to this 
thinking) that, when two people do not believe alike, the less 
said on the given subject the better. "Well, in many, perhaps in 
most cases, she is right; nevertheless, there are "exceptions," and 
perhaps this may be allowed as one. "When two people differ 
very widely in character and opinions, and go by the rule to throw 
the veil of silence over all these differences, how little is left to 
attach such people to each other, or to preserve an interest, except, 
perhaps, a traditional one ! Now you and I, my brother, from our 
veriest childhood were widely different in character and tastes ; 
and in mature life, in opinions also, as well as tastes. But shall 
we then be content to live in almost utter ignorance of each other, 
except only as concerns this perishing body and the affairs of this 
fleeting life ? Oh no ! there are things more precious than these. 

Not long since I sent a blue-and-stone colored gauze for Lizzie. 
It is my only regret at being in China that I cannot in many little 
ways prove my sisterly regard. But God has blessed me in this 
land of exile, has He not ? "Where could I begin to recount His 
mercies? And not the least is the gift of such a friend as my hus- 
band — so tender, considerate, gentle, watchful, loving. It has been 
15 



338 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

a pleasant "path [to me] with him, though sickness has not been a 
stranger to us. Even that has made the light of love and heart 
companionship more needed, more prized. Many women have 
loving husbands ; how few have those who possess that rare and 
most valuable quality, considerateness ! To my mind that word 
includes so much ! You will smile, "I guess," and think I must 
have too much leisure, that I indulge in such " revealings " after 
almost eight years of married life. Well, I don't believe you are 
sorry to have a small overflow of this kind once in a great while. 
At any rate, I think it will be good for you to smile ; and when 
that has passed away, I know the glow of thankfulness on my 
account will do you good also. 

Decemher 21st. — Yesterday a letter from you came straying 
in, which ought to have come to me two weeks since. * * * 
I have been reading Bushnell's Sermons for the " New Life." To 
me it is a charming book ; and yet in type of expression it could 
hardly have had birth out of New England. 

December 24£A. — Don't worry about my being taken down 
sick. It's all for the best, though I could have wished for strength 
to do a prime winter's work. 



CHAP TEE VII. 

1862. 

Sickness and its Experiences— Winter Voyage to Japan — Sinking Health— Farewells 
from the Deathbed — Voyage to San Francisco— Death— Destruction of the " Gold* 
en Gate " by Fire, and Death of Mr. Keith. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Shanghai, Jan. 3, 1862. 

My dear Friend and Sister : 

****** 

Though, in your own household, you have had, I trust, no 
experience but that of joy, your sympathies have been deeply 
taxed for your country and your friends, and the year 1862, it is 
to be feared, has much of darkness and trial for those who shall 
live through its hours. How blessed the lot of those who have 
Israel's God for their unfailing portion, and who find in Him an 
ever-present " refuge and strength." I am not weary of life — oh, 
no — but I do find that the changes that meet me at every step, 
and that I see in all around, help' to make the home and rest above 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 339 

more dear and prized. So " it is good to have been afflicted," if 
thus we are enabled to learn heavenly lessons. To us, as mission- 
aries (and especially is it true of our mission), the year has been 
a heavy one. Blow after blow has come, till we are ready to cry 
out with the patriarch, and say, " Show us why thou contendest 
with us." 

Perhaps I mentioned in my last letter that I was not feeling 
as well as usual ; and now I have to yield myself prisoner and be 
good and obedient and quiet and patient, and hope for freedom in 
due time. To tell the truth, secession, as it fell upon us last 
March 4th, was a blow from which I did not recover. You will 
smile, it may be ; and I will tell you what I mean. At the time 
I allude to, I was in perfect health, enjoying my studies and my 
teaching, and giving myself fully to them. For the next two 
weeks after that sad mail, it seemed to me my head would burst 
with excitement. Indeed, my eyes had a panic, and I could not 
look in a book at night, or let the lamplight shine upon them, for 
some months. I lost my appetite, and felt spiritless and languid, 
till, after two or three weeks, I resolved to cast off the burden of 
my country and of the prospects of our mission. It was useless 
for me to be crushed. So I hardened myself, and improved again. 
But I never before saw Mr. Keith take trouble so to heart, for he 
is generally the one to bear unruffled the storms of life, while it is 
always difficult for me to throw off grief. As the summer came 
on, its weight was fearful, though I stood up, while many lay on 
their sickbeds. One after another of our number we had lost ; 
and one after another of those I most cared for in other missions 
left, and there was no heart, no hope, no joy, to revive the droop- 
ing body. I longed, as I never did before, for the summer to be 
over, or to get away from Shanghai. Until August I had no 
sickness ; since then I have had occasional days of diarrhoea. 
This autumn has had its fatigues, and I could not avoid the knowl- 
edge that I was not gainiDg in health, but the contrary. Since 
cold weather, I have had three attacks, each leaving me more and 
more worsted ; and now I cannot escape the sad fact that I am an 
invalid, possibly, I will not say probably, for the winter. I come 
from my room to the parlor, and ride out, carefully muffled ; that 
is all ! I never was so helpless before, even when a miserable 
dyspeptic. I have provided for the care of my schools the next 
two months ; but work at my translations is out of the question. 
Mr. Keith " keeps the keys," and I " keep the couch " or the easy 
chair. I write a page or two occasionally, as now, and read very 
little, and seem to do nothing the rest of the time. So, here is the 
picture of my New Year. We are waiting momentarily for the 
mail. Will it tell us of a great battle and woe and death ? Will 



340 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

it tell our mission that the church will try to sustain it ? Ah, my 
dear friend, we stay ourselves on God ; but the heart must feel 
these sorrows. Wherever we look, the heart bleeds. But enough 
of this. Your heart is at least as heavy as mine, for you must see 
around you distress, anxiety, and suffering. 

You will be glad to know that Mr. Keith is in excellent health 
and strength, and busy all day as he can be. Our own lot, aside 
from our relation to others and identity with others' interests, is 
bright and happy. Even though an invalid, and kept from the 
work I delighted in and had long and eagerly planned for, yet I 
feel so persuaded that, in the providence of God, it shall work for 
my good, that I can cheerfully leave all and wait, thankful that it 
is the Christian's high privilege to serve God in the sickroom as 
well as in active life. And, if yielding myself to His will is all 
that He requires, it is all, in one sense, the highest angel could do. 
Nay, I desire to look upon it as a rest time He is giving me, 
when, free from care, I may grow rich in heavenly knowledge and 
grace, waiting His permission to go forth with blessing, if it may 
be, for others. 

It seems long since you have written me ; but I have become 
used to silence on the part of home friends ; and I suppose I shall 
gradually give up my pen almost entirely. Letters take my time 
and strength, and I often ask, what good do they ? Friends at 
home have little need of our cheer ; and they know not, cannot 
know, how much we have need of theirs. And now, dear friend, 
good-bye. I have a feeling that it will be long ere I write again. 
For all your kindness and love, the Lord bless and reward you. 
Remember me to all yours, and to dear friends. Mr. Keith sends 
love. Ever yours, Caroline P. Keith. 

TO MR. AND MRS. DAWES. 

Shanghai, Jan. 24, 1862. 

My very dear Friends : Only last week I sent off a brief 
messenger, in the last hope of bringing some remembrance from 
friends so loved and fresh in memory as yourselves, for during the 
weeks of the sickness to which I referred, I had so often thought 
of you both, and longed for the sweet sisterly sympathy of my 
dear Mrs. Dawes. I little thought your tardy but welcome mes- 
senger was so near. I must forgive your delay ; but if, while you 
were " riding, sailing, bathing " in the cool region of ocean, you 
could have seen your missionary friend, fixed to the dull, hot, 
damp malaria plains of Shanghai, losing those best loved among 
the missionary band by departure on account of failing health, and 
standing by the bedside of others prostrate by disease, or aiding 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 341 

to the utmost some hurried preparation for sea, and all the while 
feeling herself sinking under the combined effects of climate and 
sorrow (sorrow for native land and for China), could you not have 
rightly spared one hour to administer the cordial so sure to a lov- 
ing heart, so greatly needed in the absence of the various kinds of 
healthy stimulus to be found at home ? Yes. I know you could 
and would ; but you cannot know what comfort can be conveyed 
on those little white and black messengers. The strain upon the 
hearts and sympathies, the tension of feeling for the year 1861, 
we can never forget ; yet friends at home are the more engrossed 
and can spare less of time, thought, sympathy for us. It is natu- 
ral ; I cannot blame ; but we Northerners in Shanghai (where are 
mostly Southern missionaries) are like as a sparrow alone upon 
the housetop — we mourn and keep silence, lest " in the multitude 
of words " there should be " sin " and the beginning of strife. I 
must not take up my little space with the great theme of our 
country. " God is not dead/' as Luther was wont to say. His 
purposes are ripening ; He will humble ; He will teach ; He will 
be entreated too, if men are willing to turn from sin. I do not 
feel like asking this or that ; but the one cry of my heart is, 
" Lord, send out Thy light and Thy truth," take glory to Thyself 
in the wise and merciful working out of Thine own ends. When 
I think of the issue, (not, perhaps, a temporary, but) the real 
issue, the words come always echoing in my ear. 

" And right is right, for God is God," and so I know that jus- 
tice shall be established. (By the way, do you know that long 
hymn, beginning, 

" I worship thee, sweet will of God, 
And all thy ways adore." 

If not, look it up. It is in the " Hymns for the Ages," I think.) 
"We read Olmsted's " Tour in the South and West " this sum- 
mer, with great interest. I never saw a book produce such an 
impression on Mr. Keith. Just now we are reading (I for the 
second time) the life of T. F. Buxton. How the lesson tells on 
these times and this crisis ! I was thinking that a wide distribu- 
tion of this work now, at home, among men of any intelligence, 
would be a good " tract distribution." What think you ? The 
animus of slavery is one everywhere, and at all times. 

Just now we have an exciting time. The rebel bands are 
marauding near us, and threatening to take Shanghai. Our mis- 
sion is considered " unprotected," and we have removed most of 
our wearing apparel to a place more secure, lest we should be vis- 
ited in a way similar to that of our unfortunate missionaries at the 



342 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

north, in the province of Shantung. It is arranged that we 
ladies should leave on a given signal, and great vigilance is being 
used by the mercantile community here to prevent, as well as 
ward off, attack. Last night we had finished our letters, and were 
deep in the newspapers, when guns were fired. Mr. Keith ran 
out to hear — then came in and ordered me off. I had not been out 
for five weeks, except a few times in my sedan, muffled with the 
greatest care. Yet, in the misty night, after nine o'clock, my hus- 
band ordered me off ! How cruel ! He accompanied me over 
the bridge, when, thinking me safe, he left me to pursue my way 
alone to my friends. The coolies kept jostling the soldiers, who 
had turned out at the alarm, some of whom are sepoys, some gen- 
tlemen, some belonging to the regular English army. Arrived at 
my friends', a cold room and night were before me ; but I returned 
home to-day, feeling stronger. I think a little excitement iSj as it 
were, a M normal state " for me, and I miss it in the East. This 
will, belike, do me good ; but I have taken a little cold, and feel 
that poisonous salivation at work again. "We feel safe and com- 
fortable to-night ; but alas for the hundreds whom these bands 
deprive of their all, and turn out homeless by light of their own 
burning dwellings ! Such times hinder our work, too, in various 
ways ; but we feel that God can and does bring out of it to us 
most profitable discipline, most precious lessons. But, oh, this 
poor people, when shall the Prince of Peace indeed come and reign 
among them ? "0 Lord, how long ? " And when will His peo- 
ple, as one man, work in His vineyard ? 

Farewell now. I love to think that you pray for us, and if we 
meet no more in the flesh, may we meet where we shall be " like 
Him" who is here our hope and joy. Ever yours, C. P. K. 

TO MRS. B. JENKINS, PHILADELPHIA. 

Shanghai, Jan. 27, 1862. 

My dear Friend : I am seated at my centre table, in our 
warm, comfortable parlor ; and as I look from my window, the 
thickly falling snow might half persuade me I was in New York 
or New England, and not in Shanghai. Few, if any, residents 
have seen it so deep — say a foot (28th, two feet). 

* * * * * * 

I do not intend to write you a long letter now (though you 
must always notice how much more than most others I crowd on 
a page), but shall hope to write you from Kanagawa, Japan, for 
which port we expect to sail next week. Oh, how I dread the 
voyage, and at this season, too ! I never before felt so languid and 
prostrate, so almost lifeless. It almost seems as though my natu- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 343 

ral elasticity and activity could not return. I go forth, feeling like 
a pilgrim, and wondering if ever I shall come back. Such has 
been the effect of the last year, that I feel (as regards the circum- 
stances of life) as one who stands upon quicksands ; but in spirit- 
ual things I can rest upon the Rock, the Rock of Ages. At latest 
I shall hope to return by June, perhaps earlier. 

****** 

My limits are exhausted, and I must close. I seem to have 
said nothing worth sending, but I did not like to leave and embark 
on the " treacherous deep " without first answering your letter in 
some measure. 

I am not very strong, and a little writing -fatigues me much. 
Great reader as I am, in these six weeks I have not read six 
books — no, not four. * * * 

And now I must say " farewell." Ever, most affectionately, 
your friend, C. P. K. 

P. S. — You are young yet, dear one ; cheer up ; set yourself 
diligently to self-improvement ; do not let the days and hours slip 
away unfruitful : there is one noble object. Do all the good you 
can, at all times and in all places : there is another noble object. 
Trust God's promises ; thank Him for His salvation. Would you 
change places with one of these millions of heathens ? No ; a 
thousand times, no ! Then, how good has God been to you ! 
How blessed is your condition ! Forget not to be thankful ; " a 
good and pleasant thing " it is. If there are clouds, there is light 
behind them. " Only believe." 

TO ISABEL CAROLINE TENNEY. 

Shanghai, January, 1863. 

My dear Niece : I have long wished to write you, though I 
am not sure that I am in your debt as to letters. Nevertheless, 
as I wish to write you before I embark on the " treacherous deep," 
I may as well do it to-day. Procrastination has, perhaps, never 
been my special temptation or fault ; and every year I live gives 
me deeper impressions of the value of " to-day." They who say 
u to-morrow shall be as this day," and much more convenient for 
our work, will never accomplish much good ; but they may be fruit- 
ful occasions of evil and mischief. Is anything good to do ? Is 
to-day a good time to do it ? Then, " what thy hand findeth to do, 
do it with thy might." Take that as your motto for life, for every 
day. For the last year this sentiment and feeling has been much 
on my mind — not to dream, to wish to plan merely — but to act, 
and, as far as possible, finish my work. The last summer, during 



344 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

its heat and inaction, I sought to have everything in my house in 
order, finished — and so with my letters. It is well that I did so ; 
for, early in the autumn my time for two months was very greatly 
given to the needs of others, then followed occasional days of ill- 
ness, and, since the middle of December, I have been a close pris- 
oner — my utmost limit being to the parlor, or a ride in my sedan, 
closely wrapped. Some days I can read nearly all day ; some 
days I feel unequal even to that (a low point for me). Occasion- 
ally I feel well equal to writing a few pages of a letter, at inter- 
vals ; again, for days I do not touch a pen. Some days I sit up 
nearly all day ; at other times I am on the couch from the time I 
dress till I undress. It is well there are no " odds and ends " to 
finish, but that my work is as complete as possible. We are look- 
ing for a ship for Japan, and shall take one the first opportunity. 
****** 

The trial of relinquishing my cherished plans of labor for China, 

for the present, has been sharpened by the knowledge that it was 

the heedlessness of a physician in administering "harsh medicine " 

that has prostrated me. I was ailing ; but his medicines, as by a 

spell, withered up my strength, and laid me by, useless, helpless, 

suffering. I would like to leave it as dying advice, u Beware of 

drugs." 

****** 

And now, dear Isabel, a word more, and I must close. I 
have thought of you much of late, for you have completed your 
seventeenth year. How sensible, how amiable, how intelligent, 
how lady-like, how good you ought to be I I dare say there are 
moments when the thought of the coming duties and responsibili- 
ties of life weigh heavily upon your thoughts. Well, let the future 
take care of itself; see you to the present I As a general rule, I 
think that at seventeen the aims of life are taken, the character 
moulded, the purposes formed, the tastes developed ; and if it is 
not so, the case is that of a commonplace person, who floats on in 
life without aim or thought. Of course, to all this there are strik- 
ing exceptions; but in my own case I see 1862 nearly connected 
with 1837 and 1838. I often wish I could see how it is with 
you. You know I prize intelligence ; but I would rather you 
excelled in goodness than that your acquirements exceeded those 
of the wisest woman that ever lived. Let it be your daily aim to 
be a blessing to others. Perhaps no one day will offer you any 
striking opportunity ; it is not those you are to be looking for. 
Life is made up of littles. I feel this more and more every day I 
live. But, oh, if you seek to make others happy, if you watch for 
opportunities to be kind and do good, be sure to seek to have your 
motives pure Do this without thought of praise or popularity : 



MISSIONARY LITE. 345 

those are mean, because selfish, motives ; but do it because it is 
right — because it is good. 

In my last letter, I dare say, I wrote you something in this 
strain ; it is because you are much on my mind, especially this 
year, when you are on the threshold of womanhood, and life's 
responsibilities are rising up around you. 

May God guide you, my beloved niece, into all truth and good- 
ness and blessedness ! This prayer is ever in my heart, as I think 
of you : " Oh that Isabel might live before Thee." Good-bye. 
Ever your loving aunt, Caroline. 



TO MRS. GEORGE KINNEY, NORWICH, CONN. 

Shanghai, Jan. 31, 1862. 

My dear Mrs. Kinney : I am much obliged for your letter 
and package ; and they came like the visit of a friend, and were 
better than medicine. I was sick in bed at the time, and it did me 
good to get your good, affectionate letter. You are wrong in sup- 
posing I have many correspondents. I am an " old story " now, 
and have lost interest with many, and never hear from most of 
those who used to write me when I first came to China, now 
nearly twelve years since. Do you remember? Besides, an 
affectionate letter is always interesting. So long as you love me, 
you need not feel your letter will not be interesting. You told 
me more news, also, than I had heard since I came back, and I 
am not one who lose my interest in others. I do not flatter or 
make talk, you know, but I keep up the same interest in the wel- 
fare of those among whom I have been thrown, or who have been 
kind to me. 

****** 

I feel that this climate has stolen my vigor, and that it is steal- 
ing Mr. Keith's. However, early in tbe autumn, I think, he 
seemed better, stronger, more fleshy than any time since 1852. 
If I could afford a voyage to Japan every summer, I might last 
twenty years ; but that is out of the question. It is a fearful thing 
to be shut up, year after year, through these hot summers, and 
never get the least change. People at home would soon lose 
health. Nor is it well to keep on the same train of thought — to 
be always thinking of China and its woes. This is one reason we 
break down. We miss the little visits and changes that are a 
matter of course at home. And to all these things have been 
added the woes of our own land, saddest of all. It is no comfort 
to me to think of home. 

Kanagawa, Japan, March 30th. — My dear friend, an opportu- 
15* 



346 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

nity will occur to-morrow for sending this letter via California, 
and I hasten to finish it. I have been much sicker since my com- 
ing to Japan, though we had a quick, comfortable, and pleasant 
voyage. Half the time I have been confined to my bed ; but I 
am now better, really better, I trust, and on' the way to amend- 
ment. 

****** 

The climate here is lovely ; the scenery charming ; so different 
from flat, rainy Shanghai. 

You will get this about hot weather. But you do not know 
what Shanghai heat is. May your life and health be preserved to 
be a blessing to all your friends and to the church ! If we meet 
no more on earth, may we meet above. Your affectionate friend, 

Caroline P. Keith. 



TO HER BROTHER. 

Kanagawa, March 27, 1862. 

My dear Brother : You will have duly received my letters 
down to that written just as we took ship for Japan ; you will 
therefore be expecting a letter from this place via California. 
From the date of our arrival to this day, a period of six weeks, 
there has been no departure in that direction ; but a fine clipper, 
the " Golden State," one of Low's ships, only waits for decisive 
intelligence concerning the matter in dispute with England. If 
peaceable, she will leave for Hong Kong, and from thence this 
letter can try the California route. Yours and Lizzie's letters 
were received here about three weeks since, and that opportunity 
brought us no newspapers (they being " delayed "), so that Mr. 
Keith and myself are in blissful ignorance of what has transpired 
in the great world since the date of our leaving Shanghai. For 
myself, I heartily enjoy the quiet, il Sleepy Hollow " style of things ; 
for, though I would not choose to dwell permanently so discon- 
nected with the great world as the residents of Japan now do, 
yet, after a year of such sorrowful and harrowing excitement, in 
which we were kept waiting from fortnight to fortnight, or month 
to month, for something which was going to be " important " or 
" decisive," which we should hear by " next mail," and in which 
we heard of more humiliations and defeats and blunders of the 
United States than of anything else, I do feel it something to be 
thankful for, to be out of the way. " Good news will keep " — 
bad news I am in no hurry to hear ! We have an abundance and 
variety of English papers (when in Shanghai), so that we see 
" Russell " fresh, and John Bull too. Poor Russell is s.o vexed, 
that he is nearly rabid, and has lost even an Englishman's power 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 347 

of discrimination. I confess when I sit down calmly and look out, 
and see and hear the din of the world, as it comes up from divided 
America and " proud England," the view is saddening, humbling. 
" Human nature," enlightened, refined, Christianized, in this 
" nineteenth century ! " How selfish, how vain, how weak, how 
self-sufficient, how coarse, how brutal ! Alas ! alas ! Now, do 
not think I am sick and blue and doleful. Not a bit of it (except 
the sick), nor discouraged either. There is a verse of a grand, old 
hymn (I first met it in " Hymns for the Ages," edited by Hedge 
and Huntingdon), whose echoes are ever in my ear : 

" He always wins who sides with God, for God the day must win ; 
To doubt would be disloyalty — to falter would be sin ! " 

Perhaps I quote inaccurately — you doubtless are familiar with the 
whole. To the devout, who see God in all and over all, to the 
man of faith, who trusts in Him whose throne is built upon truth 
and justice, despair is a forbidden word. They see, though it be 
" afar off," the promised reign of right, and, though good happen 
or sorrow, must press on, nothing daunted. 

Every year I live, it seems to me, I feel more deeply what a 
noble privilege — what a high calling to be u co-workers with 
God," even on this saddened earth. " To be living is sublime." 
You will be anxious to know what effect my sojourn here has 
upon my health ; and I will proceed at once to give you the 
abstract of the matter. After apparent retrocession to a rather 
serious extent, I can now say that for a week past I am undoubt- 
edly better, and though no stronger than when I left Shanghai, 
having in the mean time been much more reduced ; yet the im- 
portant features of the disease have given way to decided improve- 
ment, and care and an even course seem all that I need, under 
Providence, for gradual restoration. Gradual it must be, so 
greatly am I wasted ; but I shall in a week more, probably, have 
enough strength to allow me to occupy myself all day ; and, after 
that, sickness ceases to become wearisome. Though, indeed, 
except for a very sore and painful mouth, which troubled me a 
month in Shanghai and a month here, I have little to complain 
of weariness. When I was going about among friends in Amer- 
ica, and thought by all (strangers) to be looking well enough, I 
suffered far more. Those fevered, wakeful nights, from which I 
arose so tired, to drag through a weary day, were far more trying. 
Dyspepsia proper is a bundle of miserableness that obtains no 
consideration from others — diarrhoea is a threatening disease that 
at once commands sympathy. I have missed here the comforts of 
my own home, not from the absence of kind feeling, but from the 



348 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

circumstances of the case. Few know what comfort is, or how to 
command it (friends being equal) — fewer still know what an 
invalid needs, or how to offer it. I trust among many useful les- 
sons of this long illness (for it is now three months) I have learned 
the duty of caring for the sick — I mean, having the heart warm 
and the hand ready. But the fact is, that almost all the time, 
even when confined to my bed, my mind is so cheerful and bright, 
and my manner so alive to everything, that it is difficult for those 
who do not see me all the time, to realize how sick I am. I had 
to be here three weeks, and have three relapses, before Dr. H., in 
whose house we are staying, appreciated or believed what I told 
him at first was the case. Then he set to work in earnest, and I 
have been covered with blisters all over the abdomen ever since ! 
Dr. H. now says I must not think of returning to Shanghai this 
summer ; and Mr. Keith, who expected, ere this, to have been back 
at his work, has sent for his books to go on with his studies, as it 
is not fit he should leave me these two months, even should I go 
on steadily improving — and after that there is little use in his 
going back to broil on malaria plains. I had planned and pre- 
pared for a noble winter's work of my own ; and lo ! not only am 
I laid aside, but am the hinderance of Mr. Keith. I trust, how- 
ever, this change and rest will make him stronger for future labors. 
In these six weeks there have not been, by record, three days of 
rain ! and the air is all one could desire. A perfect contrast to 
Shanghai, although the winter there has been unusually fine ; but 
dampness in Shanghai poisons all, whether cold or hot weather. 
The country here is pretty, very, very pretty. I cannot bring 
myself to apply a grander word. Hills, vales, small brooks and 
fine bays, reflecting heaven's own blue ! Think what this must be 
to those who dwell in a mud plain, and look only on yellow water ! 
In the distance a glimpse of noble mountains is afforded, capped 
with snow. Of course, as yet I have made no excursion, and 
Mr. Keith but one, as, I am sorry to say, I have been in so much 
need of his constant cares. I go out in sedan, and have a few 
times been on horseback for a short ride. I hope soon to ride 
regularly, and to derive great benefit from it. I am not, as yet, 
so much in rapture with Japan as some travellers here have been — 
perhaps my enthusiasm will kindle by and by. Our residence is a 
temple, and the priests of Buddh occupy some small out temples. 
From thence, morning and evening, we hear their knocking (on a 
bell), and vain and wearisome repetitions. On some high days, 
the service is kept up almost continually. It is a sad sound, and 
my heart aches ; and while I wonder at the goodness which has 
placed me among those who know and love God, I can only bow 
in humble submission before the wisdom of Him who suffers this 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 349 

darkness. Near my window is a graveyard crowded with inhab- 
itants ; and almost daily women, and sometimes men, come to 
sweep the tombs, place fresh flowers or evergreens there, and burn 
incense. One day I saw a tiny child with both hands full of burn- 
ing sticks of sandal wood, thus early in training to a false religion. 
There is more attention to temple worship here than in China, 
because everybody is enrolled in some parish, and thus compelled 
to pay and to do to a certain extent. The Japanese Government 
is evidently in dread of the presence of foreigners. They tremble, 
as it were, before their approaching doom. It is an utter despot- 
ism, and the distinction of classes most strongly marked. The 
free manners of a free commercial people cannot but have an effect 
on the thinking Japanese. 

March 28th. — I wrote the above yesterday, at intervals, on 
account of many interruptions. Please excuse the disjointedness. 
This morning a ship is heralded, and we are therefore looking for 
news in the course of the day, and this letter must be ready to 
send in a few hours to the " Golden State." Time passes swiftly ; 
books are plenty and various. A little work keeps me from 
wearying of these, and my attempts at riding and walking fill up 
some hours, so that, on the whole, I keep very busy. If we go 
back next fall, I shall hope to be fresh for a good winter's mis- 
sionary work. I have done none since last July ! But I imagine 
that, if spared to the summer of 1863, 1 shall flee before it and go 
north. Although last summer I used every known precaution to 
preserve my health, I felt that the burden of the climate was 
heavy. Had there been any virtue in " will," I should not have 
succumbed. I stood out while most others yielded, and the com- 
mon remark to me was, " You are never ill ! " One week before 
my prostration, our skilful friend and physician from Japan said to 
me, " I am glad to see you looking so well. I had heard you had 
been suffering from the effects of the summer ! " I often thought 
during the summer, that I could not stand many more in Shang- 
hai ! and I now expect nothing else but that I must go away 
somewhere every summer, or else become so utterly broken down 
as to compel Mr. Keith to leave China for good. That would be 
sad, indeed, just as he is in the prime of his usefulness in the lan- 
guage. And, as to myself, I can now do more in nine months of 
the year than a new missionary could in twelve. Besides, my 
temperament is such, that it would break down anywhere tied to 
one spot. Just imagine, now, that for a series of years, you and 
Lizzie never went four miles or ten miles from your home, and 
saw no new faces, except occasionally a new comer to your town, 
and that you were busy at work in the drudgery, the foundation 
work of instruction. All the circumstances of last year conspired 



350 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

to aid in depression. Whether we looked at America, China, or 
missions in general, or our own backward progress as a mission, all 
was dark and trying. The only comfort was " God reigns." In 
undoubted, unequalified submission there was rest — in the promises 
of God there was hope ; but to the eye of sense there was no com- 
fort. To a temperament like mine, moral causes are all-important 
in sustaining bodily vigor, and when to these perturbing causes 
was added the unusual summer, the burden was too heavy. My 
books were my ever dear companions, and, next to religion and to 
my husband, my constant joy, and through them I lived with the 
choice spirits and the choice thoughts of the world. Few can 
understand what my books are to me ; and I thank God more 
fervently every succeeding year, for giving me intellectual tastes. 
I would not sell them for all the gold in the world. They are far 
more precious than mere learning. By the way, I heard a sad 
and, I suppose, undoubted fact, concerning the authors of " Adam 
Bede," a book I spoke of so highly. It is said the authors are 
three ; namely : first, a son of Leigh Hunt, who, though married, 
is living with a woman not his wife ; second, said woman ; third, 
said woman's husband, who is living with another woman than his 
wife. "When I think of that prayer in Hetty's prison, I am dumb ! 
How could such wretches attain such conceptions? I brought 
over my "Chinese books, intending to refresh and add to my stock 
of knowledge ; but my feeble state has hitherto precluded all 
study. My reading has been necessarily desultory, picking up the 
books that fall in my way. Among other things, I have been 
looking at a History of New Zealand, written by a man evidently 
hostile to missionaries, and I count it a triumph that even he could 
find nothing worse than a few mistakes in judgment to chronicle. 
It is the old story of civilized rapacity and the decay of the weaker 
people. The life of Mrs. Sherwood was a curiosity to me. She 
synchronizes in time with Mrs. Fry and Mrs. Schimmelpenninck. 
Unlike those truly great women, she can never divest herself of 
" Ego." But she had her mission of usefulness, though wonder- 
fully crude in her culture and opinions. But her elegant father 
sent her to an elegant French school, where nothing seems to have 
been taught but the accomplishments. Her mother was a 0. 
Nothing could be more preposterous than the story that Mrs. 
Sherwood became a Universalist. Of late, Mr. Keith has been 
reading to me the " Greyson Letters," by Henry Rogers, which 
we find very interesting. Marsh's " Lectures on the English Lan- 
guage " engages an occasional hour, and I am at present reading 
an interesting book in popular (not scholastic) style, on the Pro- 
phets Haggai, Zachariah, and Malachi. Some histories of Japan 
came in for a share of attention, and sprinkled among these we 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 351 

take "Prenticiana," the "Autocrat," and "Elia!" Some sermons 
by Monod, Tholuck, Muller, Krummacher, and Bushnell, stimulate 
and strengthen the religious feelings, and the " Life and Times " of 
the Haldanes gives us a rare picture of whole-hearted Christians. 
Thus, you see, when ground lies fallow and seemingly idle and 
useless, it is growing richer for future, more ample harvests. I 
hope it is so with me ; for, when my strength is restored, I must 
use it, as far as prudence will allow, in the direct work of the 
Christian missionary. Precious are the lessons of sickness, if only 
we do not forget them, but carry their wisdom with us into the 
active busy life of coming days. So many mercies and so few 
trials have accompanied my sickness, that I have no doubt I shall 
look back to this season as one of serene and deep happiness. I 
seemed to have communed deeply in spirit, both of life and of 
death. If it may be the will of God, I desire many days — if I may 
have strength to labor in some good cause or causes. There is 
great happiness in living for God, even in this world, which is, in 
so many aspects of it, a vale of tears. I notice your charge of my 
Puritan-ness, and, according to your wish, I referred the question 
to Mr. Keith. Now as, of course, he thinks the Puritans were an 
unlovely set, he would be slow to be willing to see any likeness in 
me. His answer was, " Not much ; " but I pressed him, so, with 
a smile and a kiss, he retreated from the question and from the 
room, saying, li Well — yes, you are rather fond of having your 
own way ! " I was much amused, as, in turning the question over, 
I had come to a similar conclusion. I am like the Puritans in 
natural wilfulness, and that covers the whole ground. They sim- 
ply wanted liberty to do as they liked, and I have never (from my 
nature being so like, I suppose) found it in my heart to condemn, 
or rather to blame, them, for driving the Baptists and the Quakers 
from their colony. They came to the wilds of America to have 
their own way ; so it was but natural they should wish those 
" heretics "to go to some other portion of the wilds to carry out 
their notions. I often wonder, as I hear for the nine hundred and 
ninety-ninth time of the two thousand godly ministers that were 
ejected at the Kestoration, and, u with their families," thrown upon 
the world, what ever became of the more than two thousand (per- 
haps not all " godly ") who were ejected by Cromwell. No one 
knows that Jeremy Taylor suffered any inconvenience for " con- 
science ; " but all the (intelligent) world know that the father of 
the saintly Archbishop Leighton gloried in getting his nose and 
ears slit, and standing in the pillory ! Rutherford was delighted 
when he got (" a martyr's ") exile to Aberdeen — " the honor I have 
prayed for these sixteen years ! " As Shimei, in Jerusalem, he 
remained two years, when he returned to his flock. Yet so late a 



352 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

publication as Haldane's " Life " speaks of Rutherford's " call." 
Twenty-two years afterward he was summoned to answer in Par* 
liament for his " Lex Rex ; " but a higher summons called him 
away from earth. Now, I am not blind to Churchly errors or 
Puritan excellences, but I confess, as my acquaintance with Puri- 
tan times grows wider and more accurate, I cannot but feel that 
these would-be martyrs had a wonderul way of blowing their own 
trumpet ! There, again, I am afraid I am like them. I doubt, 
my dear brother, if you have as fairly studied the whole tone and 
bearing of the Episcopal characters as you have those of the Puri- 
tans. In one thing I am under the impression I am not " sui 
generis " to the majority of thorough-going Episcopalians. I 
mean, the opinions of the Fathers. While these are of great 
value in their true place, they do not weigh as much with me in 
the matter of doctrine as prevailing public opinion among us might 
require. Our " article," however, is all right, referring every- 
thing to Scripture for foundation and proof. So much — and you 
will say, too much — on Puritanism. I really think that if, in any- 
thing, some of the numerous sharp corners of my natural character 
have become a little rounded away, it is much owing to the 
healthful and symmetrical training incidental to the church of my 
mature and ever-blessed choice.* Except for Mr. Blodgett {clarum 
et venerabile nomen), I have no pleasant Puritan associations ; and, 
had my home been elsewhere than in New Market, and my train- 
ing in the Episcopal Church, I often think how different would 
have been the result in moulding a character like mine ! But it 
pleased God to order these things as they were, and I owe Him 
all thanks that I was early led to (t covet earnestly the best gifts." 
Through how many dangers has He led me, how many escapes 
has He granted me, how much goodness has He and does He still 
prepare for me ! Ten years ago I was writhing in anguish of 
spirit, and refused to be comforted, saying, " All these things are 
against me ! " Eight years less one month have I been the happy 
wife of one of the purest spirits that are given to dwell in earthly 
tenements. Engaged in a work that is worthy of all my sym- 
pathies and my best labors, mine is a lot most highly blessed. 
Days of deep sorrow may again come to me ; but these precious 
memories of precious years nothing can take away, and only my 
own unfaithfulness can dim the brightest of those blessed hopes 
that " anchor within the vail." 

[* An unquestionably and emphatically correct remark. — Ed.] 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 353 



TO MRS. JENKINS. 

Kanagawa, Japan, J 
Sunday Morningj April 6, 1862. J 

My dear Friend and Sister : A more beautiful Sunday- 
morning than this never dawned upon any land, so far as sun, air, 
and earth can give loveliness. All my friends have gone across 
the bay to Yokohama, to attend divine service, and I am left 
alone — scarce a sound, but the music of birds, disturbing the still- 
ness. The smile of God seems shining down upon this restless 
world, and I could forget (for the time) that our abode is within 
the very precincts of a heathen temple, and where its repeated 
idolatries daily insult Him to whom worship is due. I could for- 
get, too, that scenes of war and sorrow are passing in other parts 
of the world — what loads of sin and misery weigh upon millions of 
my race. I could forget all but that " God is love," and that He 
daily loadeth me with benefits innumerable. * * * 

I did not write all I wished* in my last letter to you, which I 
sent over to Mr. Jenkins, asking him to enclose it. I could not 
bear to launch out into the cold world and upon the stormy ocean, 
without a word, at least, with my best loved ones. And among 
this class, my dear friend, I put you ; and while I am sure you 
think often and affectionately of me amid the rush of life in Amer- 
ica, I am confident that, in my more quiet and monotonous exist- 
ence, my thoughts are far more of you. 

****** 

You may be astonished that Japan, which has proved a 
genuine sanitarium to so many, should have done so little for 
me. But my real decline was all summer (though I did all that 
care and prudence, and a determination not to be sick, could do to 
keep up), and I am, of course, worn by long years in hot climates 
and my previous exhausting dyspepsia. When, therefore, the 
last fearful summer drew upon my resources, I had no credit ; I 
could not fall back on the hidden force of native constitution. I 
was poorer than I seemed. 

* * * * * * 

Here is the whole story of my sickness, and of the reasons that 
seem to drive me home. A little hope will linger at the bottom 
of my heart, that, after all, it may not be necessary ; but reason 
and judgment will not bend, and they continue to affirm that it is 
wisest to go. I only pray that God will direct. You know how 
greatly I should desire to remain at my work, in my home, and by 
my husband's side ; but I desire, most of all, to do just what God 
in His providence shall direct In all my sickness, while I have 
from the first felt it to be serious, and that it was to be long con- 






354. MEMOIR OF MES. KEITH.. 

tinued, I have been enabled to say, "Thy will be done," only 
desiring to learn from this dispensation all the lessons my Father 
designed. I have almost been amazed at myself, or rather, at the 
grace given me, in ceasing from anxious care, self-will and mur- 
muring. 

****** 

Do not forget to keep up a wise course of reading. Do not let 
time slip away in busy America. Keep a record of your days 
and of your doings in books. There is a store of happiness in 
treasured thoughts, well matured. How I could enjoy a long talk 
with you of many things. Good-bye ; regain your health, if pos- 
sible ; guard it with the most jealous care. My motto is, " health 
is next to grace." Ever yours, C. P. K. 

TO MRS. GORDON. 

Kanagawa, Japan, May, 1862. 

My dear Friend and Sister : I thank you for the brief 
lines of ever-affectionate remembrance which were penned in the 
last week of the last year. As you will have learned, by letters 
from me, written in Shanghai, it was that week which saw me 
prostrated as a helpless invalid, to suffer for many, many long 
months. Early in February we came here, to try what Japan 
air, so efficacious for some invalids, might do for me. I confess 
I was not very sanguine, for the utter prostration, which I could 
hardly describe, I felt would prove incurable, even in this much- 
bepraised country. But it has been worse than I feared ; and, in 
one way and another, going from bad to worse, I am now so 
entirely broken down, that it will be a difficult and wearing duty 
for my beloved husband and unwearied nurse, to bring me safely 
to the " home," whither everything, and the doctor, in the most 
decided manner, orders me, and, as he says, to return to China — ■ 
certainly to Shanghai — no more ! 

I write reclining in bed ; where, for the most part of the time, 
of late, I have been confined ; and, as my infirmities now are not 
few but many, I shall not have strength to write much. I am, of 
course, hopeful of reaching the United States, and even of a recovery 
there of very tolerable health ; but considering the weary way that 
stretches before the invalid, and the many fatigues and exposures 
and inconveniences unavoidable that must meet me on the way, 
I do not feel sanguine that I shall be able to go through them all. 
Therefore it is that I am the more anxious to pen these few lines, 
if, indeed, they should prove my last. You know how grateful I 
have ever felt to you for all the untiring kindness you have be- 
stowed upon me for my Master and my work's sake. It is be- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 355 

yond my thanks, and I can only pray that God will abundantly 
reward you in the best of blessings. To Mr. Gordon, too, I feel 
much indebted, and know that he is satisfied in the reward of his 
own consciousness in having ever extended to me the favors I 
asked, and more. Of my feelings in leaving China, thus almost 
hopeless of return, I shall not attempt to speak. I do not think 
that even warm-hearted Christian friends in native land can enter 
into or hardly believe what missionaries feel when thus turned 
back from that upon which they had cast the plan of their whole 
life, and the warmth of all their hearts. But we are the servants 
of God ; and it becomes us not to question, or murmur, or move 
sadly at His mandate. His whole work is all before His eye ; 
and, surely, He knows best how to dispose of us. I was full of 
missionary work and of missionary plans ; but, doubtless, there is 
other work perhaps necessary to be done by the laying down of 
all these. Of Mr. Keith's more important labors, thus cut off for 
the present, as regards China, what shall I say ? " What ye 
know not now, ye shall know hereafter." I trust that it may 
please God to restore him, at least for a time, to China, or to make 
use of us in His service at home. At one time I hoped to be able 
to go on alone from California to the East, and let him return to 
his work ; but I am too ill to allow any reasonable hope of that 
now. It is our purpose, when we reach America, if I am at all 
able, to proceed at once to the water cure at Saratoga, spending 
only a few necessary days in New York. Of course, Mr. Keith 
will apprise our friends when we shall have arrived Give my 
best love to Mrs. Clibborn. It has been in my heart many times 
to write her a letter, though I know she could not answer it ; but, 
when my strength has been equal to so much exertion, there 
seemed other claims upon it. I trust she finds that, as the visible 
world darkens, the things invisible become doubly clear and pre- 
cious. Remember me to all that household. I never failed to 
meet there the same warm, kind, unmistakable welcome. The 
memory of it even, has often been like a cordial to my heart. 
Give my love to Mrs. Low ; I wrote her in November, and was 
then gradually failing, though doing my best to seem and to feel 
well. Remember me to Mrs. Rapelye, and to all who care for 
me. If the Lord will, I hope to see their faces in the flesh yet 
again. You speak of the sad times at home. Alas ! my friend, 
we too feel all our country's and our friends' distresses, and more 
yet those of missions. It has been a mournful year to us in 
Shanghai — most mournful. And now, leaving a " forlorn hope " 
there, we return to see and to hear and to feel — what ? But are 
we not Christians ? Is not the Captain of our salvation mighty ? 



356 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

Is not our God our Father ? Let us, then, " trust and be not 
afraid." * * * 

I would gladly write far more and otherwise, but have not the 
strength ; God bless you and yours. Ever, with love, yours, 

Caroline P. Keith. 

TO JEANETTE R. CONOVER, PHILADELPHIA. 

Kanagawa, May 8, 1862. 

My dear Miss Conover : I am not willing to leave this 
place, where you spent so many busy, active, happy days, and 
where I have spent more than twelve long, weary, and, latterly, 
painful weeks, without penning a few lines for you. They must 
be few, for my strength is less than an infant's, and I write reclin- 
ing in my bed. 

I have seen nothing but Bokengie since I have been here, and 
my longest ride has not exceeded five miles and back. In my 
last ride I was thrown by the frisking of Mrs. Brown's pony ; 
and, though not feeling the injury at the time, there followed great 
weakness, and then hemorrhage ; and you may little judge how 
little able I should be to bear this new trouble. My mouth, too, 
is a daily source of agony, so fearfully ulcerated is it ; and the 
tongue and gums even are now beginning to be affected. 

I sometimes feel that I am returning to Shanghai but to be 
buried there. I feel some hope, of course, of recovery, if I reach 
the United States, and the doctor encourages me to think that I 
shall get well. But, my dear friend, it seems almost too much to 
believe. If I were now in the United States, I should be san- 
guine. Well, I can only live by the day, and leave all to God. 
Could I have come to Japan, when you did, I should now, 
humanly speaking, have been a well woman ; for, I remember 
well, even so early as when you left, how heavily my feet moved, 
and how greatly I felt the burden of the summer, and how often I 
used to groan, " How shall I ever get through the summer ? " 

And summer it was ! Seeing so many around me, prostrated 
by sickness, I felt that I must not complain. Still, when Doctor 
S arrived from Japan, the week before Christmas, he compli- 
mented me on looking so well. But I was not well, and asked 
him for some medicine. I took it four days, and then took my 
bed ; and here I am still. If I die, it might with truth be said of 
me, " Sick of diarrhoea, died of muriatic." Well, I did not mean 
to write so much of myself. God has been very good to me in all 
the desire to be resigned to His will. * * * 

Give my love to Mrs. Jenkins. I would love to write her a 
line, but feel that I must not try. Tell her that I have loved her 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 357 

deeply, warmly, truly, and that her love has been very precious 
to me. How I missed her last summer and since ! Love is a 
precious gift. 

You were becoming much endeared to us just as you left, and 
I could have greatly desired, for your own sake, that you could 
have remained longer. May you be useful and happy wherever 
you are ! * * * Good-bye, my friend, with very pleasant 
recollections of your kindness, and with the prayer that God may 
make you greatly a blessing to many. I am, in much weakness, 
very faithfully your friend, Caroline P. Keith. 

TO MISS MARY PLUMER. 

Kanagawa, May 8, 1862. 

My dearest Mary : Does it seem unkind that, in these long 
three months of my painful sojourn in Japan, I have hitherto 
written you only a few feeble lines ? There have been some days 
when I could have written ; but other long standing and deferred 
claims would press in, and I would hope, too, for still more vigor- 
ous hours, in which to pen a letter to my best loved friend — the 
friend of so many years. And now hope, long deferred, has 
stretched through three months in Japan, and " the desire com- 
eth " not ; and, as there seems no reasonably near prospect of any 
ship offering direct for California, we must wend our weary way 
back to Shanghai ; thence to Hong Kong, and thence to Califor- 
nia. This to a woman who has become too weak to sit up except 
in bed, or for half an hour in the easy chair, and who cannot walk 
across the room alone, is a great undertaking. Dear Mary ! I 
do not feel very sanguine of living through all this ; but it is my 
duty to try — for certain death awaits me here. If it please God, 
I greatly desire to live yet many, good, active, useful years — for I 
see much to do, if not in China, at home ; but I pray that God 
may so dispense His grace that I may conform myself to His will 
as it becomes manifest. 

All during our stay here, the doctor has been expecting me to 
begin to gain, and wondering that I did not ; and at length he 
came to the conclusion that there was no rally for me in the East, 
and that we must go home. This was sad tidings, but not alto- 
gether unexpected by me ; for. from my first seizure, in Christmas 
week, I felt that it would be a long sickness, and the end would be 
the United States. Of course, I cherished a secret hope to. the 
contrary ; but my feelings and my convictions all said, "Home !" 
After the doctor had told us we must go, he thought there was 
" no hurry," and we could wait here for a ship, as I seemed to im- 
prove decidedly, rode on horseback every day, and longer rides. 



358 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

One day it was " so ordered " that I should ride another horse 
than my own — it was said to be " all right ; " but it proved frisky, 
and, in an unguarded moment, I was thrown ! I felt no serious 
injury, rode home chatting gayly, found no soreness the next morn- 
ing, and felt that I had escaped wonderfully. Soon, however, a 
feeling of remarkable weariness took possession of me, and a slight 
hemorrhage began ! I thought nothing of it, but it increased ; 
and now for a month it has been drawing on the springs of life, 
already too much exhausted by many months of diarrhoea. There 
is found to be serious derangement internally, and, in the greatly 
emaciated and relaxed state of my system, there is no hope for me 
but in getting home, to be *' built up," as the doctor expresses it, 
at water cure ! How I can reach the United States remains to be 
seen — we must try ! It is highly probable that there has been 
some internal derangement, existing as long ago as last summer or 
spring, and that this has been both cause and effect in the unton- 
ing of my system, and in the difficulty there has been in com- 
pletely checking the diarrhoea. But thus it is — and I am indeed 
but a wreck. We have taken our passage in the " Glendower " 
for Shanghai, to sail about the 18th of May. This letter will go 
by a steamer to-morrow ; but the fare in her is too exorbitant, and 
we must wait for the ship. By this mail, I have ready a long 
letter to my brother, written at intervals of two weeks past. I 
have told him plainly that I am very weak, but that the doctor 
gives me great encouragement ; and I do not speak so plainly as 
I now do to you, when I remarked above that I was " not very 
sanguine." I do not wish to keep him in the dark, but I do not 
wish to put him on the rack of anxiety, which will be useless. I 
suppose my hope of life is really stronger than I am fully aware 
of, for my desire to live is very strong. There is much that 
attracts me to life, and, besides, I feel that I am now just in the 
full maturity of the powers God has given me, and I do so earn- 
estly desire still to live to serve Him more worthily. The doctor 
says I can never live in Shanghai again, and it is probable that, if 
I live, my work will lie at home. But, oh, I see so much to do 
there, my mind and heart are ready to fill themselves with plans ! 
Oh that God may raise me up to be an instrument in His hand of 
much usefulness ! If Mr. Keith should desire to return to China, 
to finish his translations, I would say, " Go ; " for he is the Lord's 
servant, and the work in China is very dear to my heart, too. Oh 
how much I had planned to do there, even in this year, 1862, in 
which I am a helpless invalid. In Japan, especially, I am entirely 
dependent on Mr. Keith for all the attentions of a nurse ; he even 
cooks my chocolate and my sago. His watchfulness is as un- 
wearied as his love, and, but for • him, I should before this have 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 359 

been in my grave. He has a heavy task before him — to take me 
to the United States. But he seems wonderfully well, considering 
all things, and, I trust, may find his strength equal to his day. 
During the almost five months that I have now been so entire an 
invalid, I have been truly supported by the grace of my Father. 
Hitherto He has granted me patience under my sufferings, and sub- 
mission to His will. It is my prayer that He will continue to 
" supply all my need," and make " His grace sufficient for me." 
Very precious have been the teachings of these days ; and often 
I have felt that I was learning some of the most invaluable lessons 
of my life, so that I need not, in truth, regard these as days lost 
to work, since I am sure that by them (if God please to raise me 
up) I shall be fitted so much the better for higher and nobler 
work, in the power and with the blessing of God. I feel some- 
times as though He would certainly raise me up, since He is tak- 
ing so much pains to chasten, try, refine, purify, and teach ; and 
that, since He knows the longing of my heart to be altogether 
His, He will abundantly hear my prayer, and be with me. 

Much of the time my mind has sympathized with my body, 
and I have felt unequal to much reading or thought. Much of 
the time the mind has seemed its clearest, and thought after 
thought crowded upon me, making my sickroom radiant with all 
that was beautiful and noble and lovely in the region of the intel- 
lect and heart. I have even thought that, if I live, there would 
arise a necessity for me to express some of my thoughts ! ! for the 
good of some few ! Think of your Mend's presumption ! But I 
should not wonder if I should try my pen if I live at home ! 
There are some subjects dear to my heart, about which I should 
wish to write, and, if I could succeed, to publish ! Now, dear 
Mary, this is only for you at present ; but somehow I feel as 
though this would be one way in which I could do service for my 
Master. But I desire in all things to follow His leading. 

When we arrive at home (how far off it seems !) if I am. 
strong enough, we purpose to go at once to Saratoga to water 
cure; and, after spending three months there, to seek, probably, 
my brother's. His wife is a sensible woman, a good housekeeper, 
and a good nurse ; and my niece will be really benefited by learn- 
ing to wait on the sick. Next summer, should I live and be able, 
if you are still living in Epping and receive friends, I should be so 
happy to come and board with you a few months ! and then the 
next winter in New York ! ! You see, dear Mary, how easy it 
is for a weak invalid to make plans for coming years ! I know 
that it is well for my hopes of health, that I should indulge my- 
self in pleasant pictures of the future. 

One of the sources of my most acute suffering in all this sick- 



360 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

ness has been a cankered mouth. It was synchronous with my 
first seizure ; but got well in the course of a month. Since I have 
been in Japan, I have had three " bouts " of it — in this fashion : A 
large canker would eat itself out on the inside of the cheek and on 
the side of the tongue and in the region of the uvula at one side ! 
Oh, the aching and the soreness beyond description ! After a 
week or two, some slight cold or some hidden irritation would 
develop a set on the other side, and then on the uvula itself, and 
on the tip of the tongue and under it ! Just now my tongue is 
the color of red coals, and tipped with white ulcers — underneath, 
in the same state ! You can have the faintest idea of the constant 
pain and suffering, if you have some time had a few ulcers in your 
mouth. But some of these eat as large as a three-cent piece, and 
have to be burnt with sulphate of copper ! But my most serious 
trouble and danger at present is from the displacement and hemor- 
rhage, which last it will need my utmost care to keep in check. 
But the nature of the derangement makes it impossible I should 
be otherwise than weak and helpless till I can get where nature 
can be assisted, to be " built up " as the doctor expresses it. Few 
people at home have any idea of the difficulty of an invalid getting 
proper nursing in the East and proper food. Shanghai is one of 
the best localities, perhaps ; but even there, when I am sick, how 
much I miss what I could have at home, and which would be 
most desirable as nourishment for the sick ! Japan, compared with 
Shanghai, is as a desert, and part of the cause of my constant de- 
cline has been the impossibility of getting proper food. The cli- 
mate is said to be most salubrious ; but you know the old comic 
song says, " A man cannot live upon air ! " For instance, there 
is no milk, no mutton, no decent poultry ; and if supplies of butter 
and flour and sugar from home run out, hard's the chance of him 
who falls on that interval. There is good beef to be had, and 
good fish, and tolerable oysters — but fish and oysters are not in my 
list of " good things " ! The Japan salt will not keep anything, 
and there are almost no vegetables eatable by a foreigner. I shall 
be glad to be back in Shanghai, though we must stay there as few 
days as possible and be off to Hong Kong. Before leaving there 
for San Francisco, I shall hope to send you later tidings over- 
land. 

Now, dear Mary, I have filled all this sheet about my poor 
self; but I knew you would desire me to do just this, and would 
wish to know all the particulars you could. "We had just got com- 
pletely settled again in our Shanghai home ; and now, all will be 
sold out again, and we must take up our pilgrim staff. But I am 
persuaded " all things shall work together for good to us." 

I scarcely ought to attempt another page ; but as I feel my 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 361 

life and my future to be so uncertain, and that even this may be 
the last letter I ever write you, I must indulge myself in a few 
more lines. 

Dear Mary, you can never, never know the comfort and happi- 
ness which your friendship has been to me — so uniform (in this 
world, uniform affection is rare), so constant and unchanging, so 
disinterested, so warm and pure ! It has been a brightness on 
my path of life, long so clouded by orphanhood and loneliness, 
that is second only to the tie of relationship to my brother and the 
rich blessing of a husband's love. I would thank you for it ; but 
love is a free gift, and you have had the reward in the giving, for, 
how more and more profoundly we feel it to be true, " it is more 
blessed to give than to receive " ! But I do know that I have 
loved you in return, with all the affection of my nature, whatever 
that may be, and in these far-off lands I have loved you not less, 
but more, and you are bound up with my daily thoughts, and are 
cherished in the words and prayers of my dear husband as well as 
my own. In your afflictions we are truly afflicted ; but at this 
distance our only and our best help is by our prayers. Perhaps, 
in future years, it will be our happiness to see more of each other, 
and to comfort and help each other in ways we now think not of. 
* * * Give my love to your mother. I feel deeply for, and 
pray you may be spared to each other. * * * I wish I could 
adequately describe last summer as I felt it, in its physical, mental, 
and moral influences. The load seemed heavy — and the end was, 
that that summer has left me a wreck. My work in China, I feel, 
is done ; but not, I hope, for China. 

And now, dear Mary, farewell. Feeble is my pen, and cold 
seem any words at my command to tell you just what you have 
been to me — a joy and a blessing. May God watch over you and 
bring you out of all your sorrows, and give you many blessed and 
happy days ! I write, reclining low in bed, so that you will par- 
don all defects. I am afraid you have not received the Memoir 
of Mrs. Fry, which I meant you to have ; but we will do our best 
that you shall have it yet. She is my " saint," and I make her 
my travelling companion. Through many trials were her faith 
and patience made perfect. 

Once more, my darling Mary, my thanks for all your love and 
kindness ; and for the kindness of your dear mother I feel much 
indebted. God will not forget all that she has done in kindness to 
so many. 

My love and blessing be with you now and always, and may 
the blessing of God in all its fulness be more and more expe- 
rienced by you, ripening you for His service and fitting you for 
His presence in another and better life. There may we all meet, 
16 



362 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

to sorrow, to die no more, with and like our blessed Savior and 
Redeemer forevermore. Ever your own true, loving, faithful 
friend, Caroline P. Keith. 

TO HER BROTHER. 

Kanagawa, Japan, April 23, 1862. 

My dear Brother : I am reminded, as I pen the above date, 
that it is twenty-four years to-day since our mother's spirit passed 
away from earth, and we were written motherless. Sometimes 
it seems like a dream, that I had ever a (childhood's) home, and a 
mother — sometimes I am astonished at the fresh, warm tears, that 
even now, after so long an interval of years, come rushing to my 
eyes, as I recall some act of motherly solicitude and affection, some 
look of deep and yearning love. As I grow older, I may almost 
say I think of her the oftener, for something in my own reflected 
image often reminds me of her face, as I began to study it ; and 
" study " it I often did to try to decide if my mother were hand- 
some ! I suppose such a thought never entered your head. But, 
oftener still, I think, my tears have flowed at thought of my 
father ; for, sterner and less loving as he appeared to us, his long, 
sad years of sickness, his weary wasting away, his life of disap- 
pointment — " Oh, my father, my father," is the pitying cry of my 
heart, as often and often some event, some remark, some book, or 
some youthful reminiscence recalls his silent, grave, and suffering 
figure. How very seldom he laughed, how rarely in the last 
year (that last winter) he smiled !. How little his young 
daughter of sixteen understood, appreciated all that must have 
gone on in those saddened hearts that winter ; but I knew that 
my mother felt that death's shadow was coming upon him ! He 
was just beginning to appreciate, to confide in me, now just gain- 
ing sufficient maturity to give, in filial affection, an appreciative 
return for all their loving care and solicitude. I had not intended 
to have written of these thoughts ; but as my pen recorded the 
never-to-be-forgotten date, when the sunshine of fife was clouded 
forever to me — (inasmuch as there could never more be a mother's 
love for my comfort) — I could not refrain from placing upon paper, 
in writing to my only and much-loved brother, so widely separated, 
this record of feeling, as a fitting memorial of grateful and filial 
enduring affection. 

Your last letter, dated January 4th, reached me at this place 
the 16th inst. (with one Boston Journal of November 21st), and 
yours of November 22d arrived here on the 7th of March, no 
papers accompanying. I answered the November letter, and sent 
it to Hong Kong to go via California, date of March 29th. It may 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 363 

be long in reaching you ; if so, this may explain. Commerce is 
inactive this winter, and opportunities of sending, even to Shang- 
hai, have not been very frequent, and only by sailing ships. Since 
middle of December there has been no opportunity to California 
direct ! We have received mails from Shanghai since we left in 
February but twice ! So you see, it is a quiet corner of the world, 
and that, with my long sickness, has made your twice-coming let- 
ters peculiarly welcome, if that could be. Not for the "news," 
for that we have ad nauseam, but because the letters were from 
my brother, and gave me hope concerning his prosperity and wel- 
fare. I made special mention in my last as to the newspapers ; 
but lest that should miscarry, I will say again that it is not worth 
your while to send me papers, except for some very special reason. 
We see at Shanghai (and here in due time) the Times, Spectator, 
Saturday Review, English Times, the Overland Mail, China Ex- 
press, &c, &c. Of course, I am fully posted up as to Brother 
Jonathan and John Bull in the mean time. I notice what you say 
of England, and as I see much of (the class of) English people 
(who come out to the East), and as I read so largely not only 
English newspapers, but English (calm and fair !) Reviews, I will 
put down in a few words my conclusions, and, after that, my feel- 
ing, as to the relations and the misunderstanding and the ill will 
of the two countries. 

April 24tth. — In the first place, as a general rule, an English- 
man cannot comprehend the nature and actings of the American 
Constitution, nor the feelings and nature of the people who live 
under it. He cannot get into the place, subjectively, to take a fair 
view. It is just as impossible as it is for a Frenchman and Eng- 
lishman to appreciate, heartily, each other's different traits and 
virtues. I have read numerous dispassionate reviews, written by 
men evidently well read; and while some points were touched 
with truth and reason and clearness, in other matters there would 
be a set of ideas and phraseology sure to mislead, and evidently 
proceeding from misconception. In conversation with intelligent 
and (would-be) candid Englishmen, I have adduced cases relative 
to this, and their John Bullian reply would be, " But our greatest 
statesmen are often the authors of these opinions, and even of 
these reviews : surely they must know ! " Where is the use of 
argument to such mental states ? In the next place, as we, who 
see most of the English, best know, there is a wonderful, willing, 
and, I have often thought, invincible ignorance as to the United 
States, in all classes of the English people. In the third place, there 
is the ineradicable, because inborn (and, as they think, proper) 
feeling, that the Americans, as individuals and as a nation, are 
parvenus. Except commercially, I do not think the feeling of 



364: MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

jealousy and rivalry is very wide spread or active, because the 
English always are too well established in the conviction of their 
own superiority to all the world, to be tormented with the ignoble 
feeling of jealousy ! I notice what you say as to the mercenary 
spirit of England, &c. To this I reply, that if you have studied 
Buxton's Life, you have seen even more plainly than in Wilber- 
force's (I regret that I have never read Clarkson's) the desperate 
conflict with selfishness. It was only the array of harrowing facts, 
such as nearly drove Buxton crazy, that fairly shamed the English 
Parliament into the Emancipation Act. Would Birmingham or 
Liverpool, then, have been less selfish than now ? But, after the 
act was done, John Bull learns to plume himself upon what the 
inextinguishable conscience must ever testify was a righteous act, 
and to contemn others left behind in the good work. John Bull 
is a creature of traditions, and he now believes in abolition. 
When the anti-opium Clarkson & Co. shall arise, John will learn 
to believe in anti-opium. But, are we as a (Northern) people a 
whit more advanced ? I doubt ! If New York city saw her 
material interests more vitally linked with the South than the 
North, tell me, what would be the sight ? I know a young New 
York (Christian ! save the mark) merchant, who says he " always 
had great sympathy with the South, and would have no objection 
to a nice plantation and one hundred negroes " ! There are thou- 
sands like him ; yet, he (and they) are strong " Union men " ! 
On what principle ? the noble and right, or the ignoble and selfish 
one ? Shall we not do better, then, while we cannot but be sad 
and deeply disappointed perhaps, in view of England's feeling, to 
remember that Americans, alas ! share to the full all the same 
weakness and hatefulness and selfishness common to poor human 
nature ? True, the abusiveness of England toward us is hard for 
nature to bear ; but Christians, " lights of the world," " salt of the 
earth," u the good leaven," should in word and conduct show forth 
and teach humility and patience and forbearance, as sharing the 
same nature and the same infirmities ! The religious portion of 
the English people are not represented by the Times and such 
papers ; for, though their conceit as to the superiority of England, 
even to injury ! by America, is wonderful, they shrink from the 
thought that the two great truth-bearers of the pure gospel should 
turn and slay each other — they feel that all Popery, all heathen- 
dom, and all the evil spirits of all worlds would rejoice — while all 
angels might weep and the Prince of Peace be grieved anew at 
the reign of hate and war. But it is impossible to make them 
comprehend the merits of the position of the United States as a 
Government. " Why, if they wish and expect our sympathy," 
say they, " does not the United States at once abolish slavery ? " 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 365 

And words traced upon sand leave a deeper impress than explana- 
tion or argument does upon such minds. Bishop Mcllvaine, I 
think, will do good service among such in England. He is a 
bishop — elegant, courtly, of great presence, just the man to deal 
with Englishmen. It is a slow work everywhere and always to 
change deep-rooted (inborn almost) prejudices and notions. Many 
influences must combine and by and by the result is seen. But 
let us give John Bull his due — he means to keep the right road 
and do the right thing. He has an ideal, yes, and a real admira- 
tion for, and adherence to, the right, when £ s. d. do not blind 
his vision, or prejudice pervert his sympathies ! And he is above 
all (nations) truth-telling. Let me tell you that, evil as is the 
course of England as to opium, sad would be the day for the 
East, yea, and for the world, when France or Russia, or Spain or 
Holland, or any of Europe else, should hold the sway she does 
now, and she be humbled and crippled. The lawlessness and vile- 
ness of the French abroad, exceeds description ; the morale, of 
Russia — what is it ? the influence of Spain and Portugal is worth- 
less to truth and progress. No. May England, as a chosen 
nation, be chastised, if need be, that she may be purified and made 
even more remarkably than now the light among the nations, 
since to her, more than to all others, is it given to send forth 
(through various and imperfect instruments, indeed) the word of 
Christ and the principles of truth, right, and freedom. Deeply 
have I felt disappointed in English feeling — seldom so deeply in 
any matter since the days of youth and youthful hope ; but I feel 
that it is the high honor and imperative duty of those in America 
"who profess and call themselves Christians," not to be swept 
away with the majority, expressing and nursing feelings of hate, 
bitterness, and revenge, but to pour oil on the waters, and wait till 
truth can overtake error. And are not we now as a nation con- 
fessing our sins — and professing to humble ourselves before God ? 
Is a Spartan revenge fulness consistent with the confession God 
will accept ? Not for us is it, against whom the cry of an op- 
pressed people rises to God, to be vindictive. " Vengeance is 
mine," saith the Lord. 

April 25th. — I saw yesterday in the Illustrated London 
News an editorial expressive of blame and shame that England 
had been so hasty to bluster and threaten and talk arrogantly be- 
fore they could know what the action of America would be. I 
thought it a remarkable instance of candor on the part of any 
Englishman. 

April 26th, Saturday. — Last night a ship came in from Cali- 
fornia, bringing the consul for Yokohama (opposite this place), his 
wife, her cousin, his adopted daughter, and two children besides. 



366 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

For a rarity in officials in the East (especially Americans) they 
are decidedly religious people, and their influence will be with and 
not against Christianity. There came also the consul for Haka- 
dadi and wife and two children, and the commissioner who is to 
take Mr. Harris's place. Also the son of a Mr. Gulick, missionary 
at the Sandwich Islands — proposing to enter upon missionary work 
in Japan. Perhaps you have heard that when Japan was first 
opened to foreigners, the Sandwich Islanders subscribed $1,000 to 
build the first Christian chapel for the use of the Japanese ! An 
act of faith, no less than of love ! The money is accumulating, 
and, if safely invested, I fear, before the day for public preaching 
arrives, the sum would be sufficient to build a cathedral ! By this 
California ship we have news by telegraph to 11th March, giving 
information, but not many particulars, of the battle and taking of 
Manassas, of Nashville, the investment of the North Carolina 
coast, &c. ; but I long to hear that Charleston has fallen, and that 
the dishonored flag of the United States again floats on Sumter — 
that Savannah, too, and New Orleans, are in the power of the 
United States. Then may Richmond and Norfolk tremble, and 
Virginia begin to find her blushes. We learn that the impudent 
little Nashville, too, under United States colors, returned home in 
safety. 

But my paper will be running short, and it is high time that I 
should begin to tell you about my prospects for health. You 
were fully informed up to the very day of our leaving Shanghai ; 
and, I presume, my last letter thence will be in your hands before 
this gets to Shanghai, on its way overland — for I do not wish to 
risk two successive letters by California. If the letter via Cali- 
fornia is long in going, I fear the interval may seem long to you. 
In that letter, I believe I told you that my hopes of a rapid and 
decided amendment had not been fulfilled, and that I had been 
much worse (but was then better) since leaving Shanghai. Since 
that date, 29th March, I have had one or two u set backs," as the 
doctor calls them, and after each of these I seem not yet to have 
found the recuperative power to recover my loss and go on to 
better things. Nearly a month since, the doctor candidly told 
us that it would be well for me to go to America via California. 
He said that I might recruit here this summer so as to go back to 
Shanghai in the autumn and live there in the winter, but that I 
should have to go away somewhere the following summer, and 
that I would never have good health again if I spent my sum- 
mers in Shanghai ! He said that if I went home, I ought to 
remain at least two years ! Well, all this, though not altogether 
unthought of, was sad. The hope I still had was that I should 
find myself well enough at California to let Mr. Keith return to his 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 367 

work, and I proceed to the United States to seek health at the water 
cure and among my friends. For a few days after this mandate 
of the doctor, I seemed to gain so fast that California faded, and 
next winter in Shanghai seemed bright again. After a fall from 
my horse, which I did not feel at the time, other difficulties set 
in, and I became weak again, and we often thought of a speedy 
return to Shanghai to seek a more immediate passage to California 
via Hong Kong. But the added length and expense of the pas- 
sage thus arranged deterred us, especially as the doctor did not 
think there was such urgent need. He feels that this climate 
is all that could be desired, but that many of the articles of food, 
tempting and nutritious and most desirable, if not indispensable for 
recovery from chronic sickness, are wanting especially in Japan. 
"What I have most missed is milk. I could live on it, boiled, and 
it would be most palatable and very strengthening. He says I 
must have home nursing and care to build me up, and home society. 
I feel that he is right ; but we are ship bound, for there is no 
vessel up for California or likely to be in some weeks — indeed, we 
know not when. I feel so deeply my own ignorance and short- 
sightedness, and know so little in trut'h what is best for me, that 
my first desire is to be enabled to wait in implicit trust and entire 
patience till the will of God concerning us shall be made known 
by His providence. We have all the needful things here for our 
passage to California, and even to the East. Much as I love my 
native land and those dear to me there, I do a little shrink from a 
return to hear of wars and strifes. Great has been the sorrow of 
being thus laid aside from my loved work, and still more of being 
the means of hindering Mr. K. in his more important labors. But 
I desire to record it with deep gratitude that, as our day, so has 
been our strength ; and as our sorrows, so have our consolations 
abounded. Many and great have been the mercies that have fol- 
lowed us — precious are the promises on which we lean and by 
which we live. " Our God shall supply all our need," yea, in all 
things. In some of the more severe and active attacks of disease, 
I have felt that not unlikely earth for me was passing — and soon 
I should know by experience of those things which " eye hath not 
seen, nor ear heard, neither hath entered into the heart of man to 
conceive." In such hours {resumed Tuesday, April 2§ih) my 
dear husband and myself have communed together freely of life 
and of death, of that home above, toward which for years we have 
been looking. We have long made it not unusual in our conver- 
sation to speak of that time when one shall pass on and leave the 
other alone. We have wished to divest death of its gloom, and to 
sanctify and chasten and ennoble life by a constant and cheerful 
recognition of- death as the end of our term of action here, but the 



368 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

beginning of a glorious and perfected life in the presence of our 
Father and the society of the blest. We rejoice together in the 
love of God, which seems so great, so " manifested," that as dear 
children we cannot " fear " (in that " which hath torment ") ; and it 
seems to me, one might as well look up to the sun and say it is never- 
theless dark, as for the true believer in Jesus to look upon Him 
and feel afraid ! Blessed faith ! " Those who sleep in Jesus shall 
God bring with Him," and so " we shall be forever with the 
Lord." But I have yet desired still to remain " present in the 
body," if it be the will of God, for, not to speak of him whom I 
should leave bereaved, I greatly long for the privilege of serving 
my Master yet on the earth. Oh, I see so much to do, on every 
hand, and my mind is just come to its best maturity, and my heart 
has grown warmer and larger — not smaller and colder — by all the 
varied discipline of my Heavenly Teacher. I feel better prepared 
to serve Him, if He see fit, than ever before ; and, oh, the service 
even on earth is so fall of joy, albeit of trial ! I could wish, too, 
for myself, and still more for Mr. Keith, to remain and labor 
among the heathen ; but if God in His providence determine other- 
wise, what have we to do with sad faces and vain wishes ? No ! 
If God gives us strength, right gladly shall we gird on the harness 
at home. 

To-day Mr. Keith has gone to look for a ship back to Shang- 
hai, whence, after the briefest possible tarry, we shall take steamer 
for Hong Kong, and thence to California — the prospect of ship 
from here direct is so remote and indefinite. In the mean time, 
new weaknesses have supervened, for which these short, broken 
sea-voyages promise the best remedy. I am writing this in bed, 
not because I could not get up, but because it is probably better 
that I should remain recumbent. 

I have purposely written thus freely and frankly, my dear 
brother, feeling that it is what I should desire another loved one 
to do by me. I am very hopeful, and the doctor entirely so, of 
my living to reach the United States, and of my ultimate recov- 
ery. But life, at the best, is uncertain ; and if this were to prove 
my last, you would rejoice to have known so much of my mind 
and heart. We shall carry this to Shanghai and forward from 
there ; but I did not like to postpone what I most wished to write, 
lest I should be less able there. I meant to have written Lizzie a 
nice long letter ; but many days (if not most) I have been unable, 
and my better days have been filled up, to the extent of my little 
strength, by matters that seemed to have prior claim. I wanted 
to write her a letter about this country that should be really in- 
teresting — but a slovenly descriptive letter is a tiresome bore. 
Give my best love to her, and tell her that it may be, though I 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 369 

hope better than this, that I shall tax her sisterly care, and need 
her sisterly nursing. I shall feel no compunctions in taxing 
Bel, for I have been made to feel what great ignorance exists 
among most women of what the sick need ! Tell her I want her 
to set about learning to make first-rate milk porridge, that shall be 
smooth and well boiled, but not scorched or smoked, or taste of 
the saucepan or iron spoon ! I shall want just a little nice milk 
porridge every night for supper ! Tell her to learn at once to 
make delicious milk toast, because that I want for my breakfast ! 
And tell her that I know her mother to be a super-excellent instruc- 
tor, and that, when she has learned to do two things well, she has 
gained an acquisition for herself, by which she may be made a 
comfort and blessing and even means of recovery to some poor 
sufferer. Tell her to "remember the words of the Lord Jesus, 
how he said, it is more blessed to give than to receive." Oh, I 
have, in this sickness, been made ashamed of my past selfishness, 
or, at best, unlovingness, and have been made to feel that to arise 
and be able to serve and comfort and aid one similarly situated to 
myself, would have been a work, an errand of delight and blessing — 
I had almost said; a work not beneath an angel's employ ! If cir- 
cumstances allow, and my strength is sufficient, our first recourse 
will be to the water cure ! Health first, friends afterward ! I feel 
that, though you will lament the cause, you will rejoice in the fact 
of our return. May it be to find you all in circumstances of hap- 
piness and comfort. Good-bye, and believe me now and always, 
your faithful sister, C. P. K. 

May 10th. — There is an opportunity of sending some letters to 
Shanghai to-morrow (an interval of three weeks), but the fare by 
same is something fearful. Just think of $175 apiece, as far as 
from New York to Charleston ! We have taken passage in the 
ship " Glendower," which will leave one week later, the 17th or 
18th, and we may hope to be no more than ten days on our pas- 
sage. The fare is $65 apiece. I have some expectation that the 
sea air will prove bracing to me, as it did on the way over. Of 
course, I dread the fatigue of sea life, and have often had a bene- 
volent ! wish that some of the good people who are fond of remind- 
ing foreign missionaries " how much better time they have than 
the poor half-starved home missionaries," could know the weari- 
ness of the average sea voyages. 

My health does not vary much ; but everything conspires to 
make us feel that the path of duty is plain, to go home, without 
waiting longer. Just now I am suffering from the most painful 
of the many-times cankered mouth ; and as the ulcers are on the 
tip and under the tongue, you may imagine there is no respite to 
the pain and irritation. There are other ulcers, but these I do 
16* 



370 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

not feel, so surpassing is the torment of the tongue. " Patience, 

patience," is my constant prayer. 

****** 

I think you are quite right in insuring that Isabel should have 
such thorough knowledge of books as will be good investment for 
her in the future, when she may have to depend on her own exer- 
tions for a livelihood. But I confess that, as soon as possible, I 
should like her to be done with mathematics. Some of the most 
unpractical (and impracticable) people I know, delight in mathe- 
matics — they never seem to be in contact with the real world ! 
Moreover, so bare are many other chambers of their minds, that 
they are the most uninteresting people in the world — the percep- 
tions are asleep, and the imagination never has been awakened. 
With the long-continued study of the dead languages I am not in 
favor, unless there is a decided intellectuality and taste, and capa- 
cities of imagination that make it alive, and cause it to have influ- 
ence and use in other studies. I am anxious for the eyes to be 
called into use daily, and I want to have her engaged in studies 
that will compel her reflective (not conjectural) faculties to be at 
work — that will give her material for thought, and interest her in 
thinking. * * * 

No one study waked up my mind so much (when about fifteen) 
as natural history and natural theology (studied in continua- 
tion), and something of that kind, it seems to me, would open a 
new world to Isabel. I want her to be as thoroughly read and 
well grounded in the studies that are concerned with common and 
daily life as she is in mathematics and Latin, I mean physiology, 
anatomy, as studied in schools, as well as the simpler elements of 
chemistry and geology. I want her to notice the flowers that 
grow at her feet, and the habits of the living things, vegetable and 
animal, that surround her — then she will not lack food for thought, 
and will find material for many enjoyments. I do not know how 
far you agree with me in my educational views, nor how far Bel 
would give herself to my influence and direction. While I have a 
high ideal of the cultivation any sensible woman may gain, and of 
the education most are capable of receiving and acquiring in 
youth, I have no tolerance with an unpractical, shiftless, awkward 
woman. Noble is her office and mission ; but it is through femi- 
nine and womanly powers and gifts. I have long felt that the 
culture of New England women is too severe and ungenial, gen- 
erally, and that warmth and grace should be sought for in greater 
proportion. Bear with me in inflicting this long discourse, per- 
haps a repetition, in some measure, of what I may have said in 
previous letters. You know that all that concerns you and yours 
lies very much on my heart, and I have observed and thought 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 371 

much as to intellectual and moral culture. My varied life, too, 
has perhaps enabled me to look at these things in varied and often 
advantageous lights. Should it be the will of God that Bel should 
see much of me for the next few years, I may be of use to her, 
and she a comfort to me. There is much more in mind and heart 
that I would love to express ; but my letter is already too long, 
and I will hope for another and better opportunity. Of Mr. 
Keith's devoted and watchful care I have said nothing ; you can 
imagine it to be all that a sick wife could desire. Truly, in him 
God gave me the " hundredfold in this life," promised to those 
who leave what is dearest, for Christ's sake. With tender love to 
all, your ever affectionate sister. Caroline P. Keith. 



FROM REV. CLEVELAND KEITH TO RT. REV. BISHOP BOONE. 

San Francisco, July 7, 1862. 

My dear Bishop : I understand that the " Delaware " is to 
go direct to Shanghai on the 10th, and take time by the forelock 
to give you an account of our progress. I intend to send you a 
weekly paper from here with the last news. 

My last note to you left us fairly on board the " Rival." "We 
were under weigh in a few minutes after, and before night were 
outside and in stormy weather. Our passage was, on the whole, 
as quiet and rapid as could be expected ; we anchored in the bay 
here on the thirtieth day out, the 27th of June. Mrs. Keith con- 
tinued to be as weak and feeble the whole passage as when we 
started ; but there seemed to be some favorable indications the last 
few days. The weather was very cold, and the thickest clothing 
was hardly sufficient for warmth. The captain was kind ; and the 
other passengers, of whom there were seven, kept very quiet, so 
that, upon the whole, we could hardly have had a more comfort- 
able voyage. "We had letters to Mr. Loomis, which I sent by the 
first opportunity. The next morning I received a note from him, 
enclosed in one from another gentleman, stating that he had been 
ill and was going out of town the next day. The gentleman who 
enclosed the note invited me, on behalf of Mrs. Bishop Kip (the 
Bishop being away), to come and make their house our home. 
He also made the necessary arrangements for getting Mrs. Keith 
moved. This latter process extended into the night, but was suc- 
cessfully accomplished at last. We took a mattress out of the 
berth and put it on a door, then laid her on it, and four of us car- 
ried it to an open carriage, where it was laid on the seats. The 
most difficult part was bringing her up stairs ; but that also was 
safely accomplished. They have been very kind to us, and we 



372 MEMOIB OF ME8. KEITH. 

have had every comfort which the place affords. The family phy- 
sician (homoeopathic), or rather his partner (for he was away), has 
been very attentive, and we feel that he is doing as well as the 
nature of the case admits of. She had suffered much pain in the 
lower part of the back, with an unaccounted-for quickening of the 
pulse for some weeks. This was discovered last week to proceed 
from an abscess not making itself locally apparent. It was opened 
on Saturday last with great immediate relief, and she has thus 
been saved, in all probability, from the additional miseries of 
fistula. All her symptoms are better yesterday and to-day, and 
her strength has specially improved. She can now lift her head 
from the pillow, and even went so far yesterday as to lean a few 
moments on her elbow, though that was perhaps an over-exertion. 
If she should improve as much in this week as in the week preced- 
ing, I shall have sanguine hopes of being able to set out for the 
Eastern States at no distant day. Truly we have great reason for 
thankfulness and praise. 

I hope you will write me often, my dear Bishop, and much of 
our mission and work. The future does not yet look plain to me ; 
but I trust that my way will be guided aright, and, if it be His 
will, back to China, for a season at least. 

Trusting that the blessing of God will rest on every work of 
your hands, and warm regards to Mrs. Boone and the other 
members of the mission, yours very truly, 

Cleveland Keith. 



San Francisco, July 11. 

My dear Bishop : I scarcely feared for Mrs. Keith's life, 
when I wrote the above ; still less did I think the same envelope 
would bear you the tidings of her death. The rallying of nature, 
which I mentioned, was but the last flickering of exhausted life. 
She failed again from day to day to my eyes, though not to those 
of the doctor and others until yesterday. The physician who 
attended her, and also the one who usually attends the family, 
both saw her, and agreed yesterday to recommend me to take her 
to a water-cure here. The keeper of it saw Mrs. Keith at six 
p. m. He did not express much hope of a favorable result, and 
was the only person who has ever felt at once how sick she was ; 
but perhaps the sinking of life was too evident to be hidden then, 
for at half past eleven she was gone. The immediate cause of 
death was suffocation : she took a little cold a week ago, when we 
let her lie for a change on a lounging chair for a while, but it did 
not distress her much until the day before yesterday ; even then 
the doctor made nothing of it. But all through the last two nights 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 373 

of her life she would painfully expectorate large masses ol phlegm. 
Yesterday morning she began to lose the muscular power to bring 
it up, and to suffer from this cause. The discharges from her 
bowels took a form more like dysentery, and were very weari- 
some to her. She expressed a good deal of anxiety that I should 
have the doctor give her something to allay it for the night, and 
I wrote a note asking him to come in again. Scarcely was it 
gone when the final struggle began. She suffered much agony 
for an hour or two ; but her departure was very peaceful and 
quiet at the last. The doctor was present, and did something to 
cause the alleviation. I have all the kindness that can be heaped 
on me. My first impulse was to return to China in the vessel 
which will take this, but I now think it wiser to go East first. 
Yours truly, Cleveland Keith. 

FROM RT. REV. BISHOP KIP TO REV. S. H. TYNG, D.D. 

San Francisco, August 7, 1862. 

Rev. and dear Sir : Long before this reaches you, the tele- 
graph will have brought you the sad news of the burning of the 
steamer il Golden Gate," and the loss of your relative, the Rev. 
Cleveland Keith.* 

I know not what he may have' written from here, to his friends 
at the East, with regard to the illness and death of his wife ; but, 
as he expected to see you soon "face to face," he probably 
reserved most of his intelligence until that time. I feel it a duty, 
therefore, to write you some particulars of the last days of this 
estimable and devoted couple, as that time was passed in my 
house. 

On the 28th of June (Saturday), the ship arrived from China. 
I was at that time absent on a visitation at Nevada. Mr. Keith 
had a letter to Mr. "Wm. R. "Wadsworth, of this city, which he at 
once sent to him. On learning the circumstances of the case, Mr. 
"Wadsworth informed Mrs. Kip, who, learning that a clergyman 
had arrived with his sick wife, immediately sent for them to be 
brought to our house, where they came that evening. A mattress 
was placed on a state-room door, and on this Mrs. Keith was car- 
ried up to the house. 

I returned home the following Tuesday evening, and found her 
so ill that she had to be fed in bed ; and so she continued for two 
weeks until her death. During all this time, the devotion of her 
husband, night and day, was unceasing, until we began to fear 
that his own constitution would sink under it. I generally saw 

[* Sunday p. m., July 27.] 



374 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

her but once a day, going in in the evening after dinner, and talk- 
ing with them for from one to two hours. 

Mrs. Keith seemed to be rather improving until two days 
before her death. On the very day of her death, she talked to 
Mrs. Kip about trying a water cure, and even sent for the doctor 
to consult with him. On the evening of Thursday, July 10, she 
became worse, and the physician who attended her was sent for. 
He was rather inclined to believe the attack a high state of ner- 
vous excitement, but remained by her bedside. I had prayers 
with her during the evening, as her husband afterward had. She 
continued, in reply to his questions, to give the most unwavering 
declarations of her faith and trust in her Lord. About eleven the 
doctor said that her pulse had risen, and her system seemed to 
have rallied. We thought the danger was over, but it was the 
last flutter of life, and she died at Il-J. It was as calm and Chris- 
tian a death as could ever be witnessed. 

The funeral took place the following Saturday. A few friends 
assembled at my house, where we had prayers, and then went to 
the Church of the Advent, where the burial service was performed 
by Rev. Mr. Brotherton, of St. John's Church, and myself. The 
funeral then moved to the cemetery, three miles distant, where 
the body was placed in the receiving vault, and I read the burial 
service. 

For the next ten days, Mr. Keith remained with us, until he 
sailed, July 21 ; and never have I had any one an inmate in my 
house to whom, in a few weeks, I became so much attached. His 
devotion to his work, together with his refined, unselfish nature, 
enlisted the interest of all who knew him. Of our city clergy, 
Rev. Dr. Clark and Messrs. Brotherton and Easton were marked 
by their attentions to him. It was once my privilege to be a 
pupil under his father, Rev. Dr. Keith, when he was in the 
Virginia Theological Seminary ; so that we had many remi- 
niscences of the past to call up, and I now look back with melan- 
choly pleasure to our many conversations. He showed, too, such 
a livery interest in everything pertaining to our diocese, and 
volunteered to me the offer, when in the Atlantic States, to use 
his influence in procuring us clergy. I looked to an acquaintance 
here as the beginning of a pleasant intercourse which, I hoped, 
would last for years. 

Friday, the 18th, I was obliged to go into the interior. Mr. 
Keith drove down with me to the steamer in which I was going, 
and we parted on her deck, his last words being, " God bless your 
work in this diocese." 

On Sunday morning (Mr. Easton being ill), Mr. Keith sup- 
plied my place in Grace Church. In the afternoon, he went with 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 375 

Mrs. Kip to a mission school and church we have begun in a dis- 
tant part of the city, where he delivered an interesting address on 
his missionary labors in China. In the evening, with Mrs. Kip 
and Mr. "Wadsworth, he went out to the Dolores Mission (three 
miles), and preached for Mr. Brotherton. Such were the labors 
of his last Sunday on earth. 

As I was absent, Mrs. Kip invited Mr. "Wadsworth to break- 
fast with Mr. Keith on Monday morning. He went down with 
him to the steamer, where I had previously procured for him a 
good state room, and given him a note of commendation to the 
captain. There he parted with him, and we were in daily expec- 
tation of hearing from him from Acapulco, when last night came 
the sad news. 

I have tried to learn from those who were saved some particu- 
lars about him. One person says that Mr. Keith behaved with 
the greatest courage, aiding in helping the women and children, 
and when the steamer struck, threw himself into the water, but 
was seen to sink. 

Will you tender to his family my sympathy for their loss ? I 
feel for them and with them, for I had learned to respect and love 
him. He was one whose influence our church could not well 
afford to lose, and we must sorrow thus to see " the faithful min- 
ished from among the children of men." He has now joined his 
wife, so that, in death, they were but little divided. Believe me, 
my dear sir, yours very sincerely, Wm. Ingkaham Kip. 

August 8. 

I have made diligent inquiry among those who were saved, 
and there is but one voice with regard to his bravery and cool- 
ness. He seemed to care for the safety of every one but himself. 
One man, after speaking of his conduct in terms of the highest 
admiration, ended with saying, " "Well, after all, it is a good thing 
to be a Christian, and I believe I'll be one ! " Such was the last 
lesson taught by the life of our friend. 

The Bulletin last evening contained the following notice : 

II The Rev. C. Keith was a clergyman of the Episcopal Church, 
who was for a while stationed in China, as a missionary. He 
came to San Francisco, with his wife, in the hope that her health, 
which was very much broken, would be improved , by the voyage. 
She died, however, in this city, on the 10th of July. Mr. Keith 
then determined to return to the States. Mr. Murphy, one of the 
saved, says that, while the panic was greatest, a little boy, some 
two years old, came running up to him, asking him to find his 
mother, from whom he had been parted. The woman, turning to 
Mr. Murphy, begged him to save her boy. He told her he would 



376 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

try, and, taking him on his back, asked some one to tie his burden 
to him. Then the Rev. Mr. Keith drew his handkerchief, and, 
fastening it to Mr. Murphy's handkerchief, Mr. Keith lashed the 
little one to his preserver's back. * The Lord save you and the 
little child,' said Mr. Keith, and with this benediction Murphy 
leaped into the sea. The two were saved. Another one of the 
saved says that he found Mr. Keith swimming by his side, and 
swimming well. Mr. Keith, occasionally, as he grew weary, 
turned upon his back and rested. They reached the surf together 
- — after which Mr. Keith was seen no more. Mr. Keith had 
preached in the cabin on the morning, of the fatal day. Several 
unite in saying that he was among the busiest in calming the 
excited, telling each how he might best behave — cool, calm, useful, 
and active to the last." 

Mr. Keith's Chinese Dictionary in MS., on which he had 
bestowed the labor of years, was lost with him. 

On opening Mr. Keith's last will and testament, made in the 
spring of 1859, just before sailing the last time for Shanghai, and 
deposited under seal for safe keeping at the Mission Rooms in New 
York, it was found that he had bequeathed the bulk of his property, 
to the amount of from eight to ten thousand dollars, to the Prot- 
estant Episcopal Board of Foreign Missions, for the benefit of the 
mission in China. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

Summary of her Character— Testimonials— Interment in Greenwood Cemetery- 
Monument. 

The fulness with which Mrs. Keith's ever-transparent nature 
is revealed in these outpourings of her inmost heart, the naturally 
suspected because almost unavoidable partiality of an only 
brother to an only and beloved sister, and the needful space 
required in this already extended memoir for the testimonials of 
friends, the insertion of which I would on no account forego — all 
permit, or rather admonish, me to be brief in what I have to say 
of her character. 

And yet, will it seem unwarrantable or inexcusable to one 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 377 

who has followed, page by page, this autobiography, written with 
a pen dipped in the heart, if I claim for her, who has passed on, 
the character of a high-souled woman, who, with remarkable intel- 
lectual gifts and rare mental self-culture, devoted, with all the 
energy of a strong, and the fervor of a deeply emotional nature, 
discouraged by no obstacles and overwhelmed by no trials, her 
thought, her heart, her will, her most strenuous and unremitted 
efforts, to the service of her Lord and Master, for the glory of 
God, and what she believed to be the highest good of mankind ? 

From her childhood to her grave, she was ambitious — ambi- 
tious not only to be, but also, as I think, even to the last, to be 
recognized as being, one among the first. The ungenial circum- 
stances of her youth, forcing her thoughts in upon herself, made 
her, I suspect, even more of a dreamer than is usual at her age 
and to her sex. Yet hers were no vain, enervating, and fleeting 
dreams. With her temperament, and with an unconsecrated am- 
bition, she might have become (especially had hers been a pros- 
perous outward lot) hard, bitter, contemptuous. However this 
may be, the seed sown by a devoted pastor, in life's spring time, 
fell on receptive and productive soil. Desirous as before of being 
distinguished, she desired yet more earnestly to be useful. That 
early wish and purpose, though checked, turned aside, baffled, was, 
through all the changes and disappointments of opening woman- 
hood, still retained and cherished. Sorrow and betrayal, which 
would have prostrated or exasperated a feebler nature, only 
enriched hers, and through conflicts with self and with circum- 
stance, and mental trials that threatened her soul with spiritual 
shipwreck, she came forth at the age of twenty-eight, consecrated 
to the work of a Christian missionary. 

To one who knew her but imperfectly, her design might have 
seemed but the hectic of a fevered spirit, her course but another 
of the many spiritual Quixotisms, which move in observers only 
pity or contempt. The self-revealings, now made known to the 
world in these pages, are a sufficient answer to those, if any there 
were, who entertained such a suspicion respecting her. The un- 
wavering energy, the thorough fidelity to her work whatever it 
might be, and the unflagging industry, which had always been 



378 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

signal traits in her character, animated, elevated, intensified by a 
ferment piety, were hers to the very last. Enough to say that few 
have equalled, only the fewest have surpassed, her in zeal for and 
in the cause which she espoused. 

Of her theological views, religious experiences, and ecclesias- 
tical relations, there is no need that I speak. Extended comment 
by me on these topics, were the supererogatory work of one 
who, from his position, would be, after all, a scarcely credited 
critic. M Jesus Christ a Savior from all sin " is the sum of her 
religious belief; "the love of Christ constraineth " the motive of 
all her endeavor. Prayer was to her the key unlocking the spir- 
itual treasury ; and through self-surrender alone, in her view, did 
the life of God enter into the soul of man. Here her spirit rested 
after troubled and stormy wanderings, and found abiding peace 
and joy. In this faith she lived, loved, prayed, labored, suffered, 
and died. 

A remark may here be made concerning her ecclesiastical 
position in connection with her relations to her Christian friends 
of other communions than her own. A New England Congrega- 
tionalist by early associations, a communicant for a few years in 
the Unitarian Church, still later a perplexed and distracted theo- 
logical inquirer, she became at twenty -five an Episcopalian. The 
reasons for her preference and her growing attachment to, and 
deepening enjoyment of, her own Church, are fully and forcibly set 
forth in the preceding pages. But her warm love for her friends 
of other denominations was never interrupted or abated. Prank, 
and in some instances it might almost seem to them severe, in her 
criticisms on their theological opinions, she loved with all her heart 
those who held these views, and loved them to the end. Her 
correspondent in New Hampshire and friend of a lifetime, and her 
correspondent in Kentucky, her next most dearly cherished female 
friend, were Unitarians. The ever-revered and beloved pastor of 
her youth, and a much-prized friend and correspondent in Danvers, 
were New England Congregationalists. Another most intimate 
friend was a Baptist, others still Methodists and Presbyterians. 
Many seasons of sweet spiritual converse she passed with Chris- 
tians of other names than her own. If any thought her mind one- 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 379 

sided, if some of us felt that by her very make she was incapable 
of doing justice to our theology, none could doubt, all deeply felt, 
that she had a catholic heart. 

Not less intellectually than spiritually was Mrs. Keith a woman 
of mark. I must resolutely deny myself the analysis of her mental 
qualities. Her ready and prolific pen, and the allusions of friends, 
enable her readers to judge for themselves what she was, and to 
conjecture what, with her steadily maturing powers, she would, 
had her life been prolonged, have become. At her death she had 
not attained, by full ten years, to mental maturity, and the results 
of her long and earnest thought on subjects of mental and spiritual 
concern, especially as connected with missions, she would, I doubt 
not, have published in systematic form. To me it seems that she 
was taken to a "better country, even the heavenly," when her 
capacity for usefulness on earth was accumulating in a geometrical 
ratio. But He, in whose " house are many mansions," knoweth 
best, and doeth all things well. 

One word as to her style of composition. It should be remem- 
bered that she wrote rapidly, diffusely, and in the intervals be- 
tween her labors. She was no professed letter writer, trimming 
and polishing sentences, seeking for telling points and epigrammatic 
phrases and striking antitheses. She only " spoke right on." Let 
this explain and excuse some of the faults observable in her epis- 
tles. "With the care, patience, and pruning which she could and 
did employ when it was necessary to do so, she displayed a 
remarkable grace and accuracy, as she always did copiousness, of 
language. As it was, many of her letters found their way into 
print, and were read with an interest and a sympathy which not 
seldom proved their genuineness and strength in substantial aid to 
the cause to which she had given herself. 

Her social qualities may be inferred from references of friends, 
yet to be quoted. Too transparent (often imprudently communi- 
cative), too outspoken, of too marked an individuality, too negli- 
gent of conventionalisms, too impatient with prosy and with pre- 
tentious people, too high toned to seek or even to appear to seek 
for the approbation, which, nevertheless, she loved — to be, what is 
called a favorite in society, she nevertheless made many true, 



380 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

deeply attached friends, and to her, particularly in the last years 
of her life, " the thoughts of many hearts were revealed." Her 
eagerness to converse with thinking and cultivated persons was 
sometimes an occasion of soreness of feeling, particularly to her 
own sex, who felt themselves slighted, and who, in some instan- 
ces, placed an uncharitable construction on her motives. 

Let it not be presumed that, in her mental and spiritual eleva- 
tion and aspirations, she was deficient in home-bred virtues, neglect- 
ful of life's daily and common duties and cares, forgetful or back- 
ward in the little kindnesses that strew earth's pathway with 
flowers. The occupations of the housewife came to her late in life, 
and were, doubtless, something of a drudgery. Yet I have the 
authority of one of her female friends in Shanghai for saying (spite 
of some self-depreciations in the foregoing pages) that her table, 
and indeed her whole housekeeping, gave evidence of neatness, 
thoroughness, painstaking care. Commissions from friends in 
America for the purchase of tasteful articles of dress or parlor 
ornament, she fulfilled promptly and cheerfully ; often at personal 
inconvenience, sometimes procuring from Canton the thing 
required. More than this, she was always sending to relatives 
and friends, and not the least to the younger members of their 
families, whom she carefully and kindly remembered and inquired 
after, mementoes of her interest and attachment. 

On one point her self-restraint (of which she always had more 
than might have been expected of a person with strong positive 
convictions, and a natural impatience, and which, in her last years, 
was an abiding principle, power, and practice) deserves to be sin- 
gled out for notice. Ever after her residence in the Southern 
States, where she had occasion to see much of the workings of 
American slavery, she hated that " sum of all villanies " and bar- 
barism with the fiery indignation of a true Northern heart. Many, 
if not most, of the American missionaries in Shanghai — nearly 
every one in her own mission — came from the South. That she 
might pursue, in pleasant relations to all around her, the great 
work of her life, she schooled her tongue to silence on this one 
subject of difference in opinion and feeling. At the breaking out 
of our rebellion, her heart bore in speechless grief her country's 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 381 

wrong, while her pen, even amid the heart-rending embarrass- 
ments of her beloved mission, sent stirring messages across thou- 
sands of miles of intervening ocean to the friends of freedom, to be 
steadfast for the righteous cause, whatever might befall. 

Mrs. Keith's industry was unsurpassed. And whatever she 
undertook, she prosecuted with all her might, rewarding resolution 
with no rest. During her visit to America in 1857-' 9, an invalid 
with an invalid husband, she filled up every unoccupied hour. I 
remember her speaking with prolonged animation on the themes 
closest to her thought and heart, while plying with busy fingers 
the swift needle. 

Of her health she was, till some time after her marriage, almost 
censurably careless. Advice and warning on this point were 
thrown away upon her. Not that she wilfully and obstinately 
slighted the remonstrances of her friends. But persons of her 
mould forget that nature, robbed of her rest, will exact to the full 
her retributions. The last few years of her life, assisted by a 
watchful and tender husband, she was as conscientiously careful 
as she had previously been negligent and imprudent. The citadel 
of a good constitution had, however, been already undermined. 
A debilitating climate, mental anxiety, monotonous occupation, 
severe personal trials, did their share of the work ; but by the aid 
of systematic attention to her health, from her youth up, I believe 
she might, in spite of all these, have lived to threescore. 

Her marriage with Mr. Keith was a most happy and blessed 
union. He found in her a helpmeet indeed ; she, in his society, 
no longer felt the loneliness that had saddened her heart from her 
very childhood. " Each was the exact complement to the other." * 
In the most entire confidence, and the deepest, purest affection, 
united in the earnest pursuit of the same cherished object, they 
passed eight years of earthly companionship, and in their death 
they were not long divided. If any anticipated from her marriage 
a diminution of interest in her great work, the sequel undeceived 
them. She was a missionary and a missionary's wife in one. 

Of Mr. Keith himself I may not speak at length. The seal of 
saintship was on his countenance ; the spirit of a saint breathed in 

* Rev. Dr. Tyng. 



382 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

all lie said and did and was. " None knew him but to love him, 
none named him but to praise." Gentle in manners, affectionate in 
heart, sweet in temper, firm in his opinions and purposes, thought- 
ful and delicate in his bearing toward all, most conscientious, 
patient, reverent, devoted to his work, he ever bore his high com- 
mission with him. A filial child of his church by education and 
training, he was hers also by taste, tendency, affinity ; her son by 
birth, as Mrs. Keith was her daughter by adoption. He was one 
of those rare spirits, "too meek for transport, too faithful for 
remorse," to whom "goodness, beauty, truth are original, hiding 
behind the eye, thinking on the brow, making music in the voice. 
The angels appointed to guard the issues of the pure life seem 
rather to have taken their station at its fountains, and to pour into 
it a sanctity at first." Few souls have winged their flight from 
earth, fairer than that of the sainted missionary who, on the Pacific 
coast, on the last Sunday afternoon of July, 1862, from a scene of 
fearful conflagration and shipwreck, was translated to the skies. 

In person Mrs. Keith was tall, reaching the unusual height, 
for one of her sex, of five feet and eight inches. Her weight, 
when she was in health, was about one hundred and forty pounds. 
She was of a light complexion, with light hair and eyebrows. 
Hers was a variable and expressive countenance. The likeness 
prefixed to this work was taken in March, 1850, just before she 
sailed for China the first time, and is as fair a representation of 
her face and head as can be obtained in a daguerreotype. Her 
manners, though early disadvantages were never entirely over- 
come, forbade any one to think her an ordinary woman. In com- 
pany, if usually quiet, and sometimes seeming abstracted, she 
could, when the subject invited and the occasion permitted, with 
kindling countenance and animated lips, awaken, arouse, delight, 
fascinate. Few could be more interesting than she when there 
was sufficient motive. In her youth she was a very fine natural 
singer ; with cultivation she would have been a superior one. 
Learning to play on the piano at a late age — eighteen — although 
her progress was very good, and she sang and accompanied herself 
upon it to the delight and even admiration of those who heard 
her, she was, nevertheless, dissatisfied — so high was her standard — 



MISSIONABY LIFE. 383 

with the little progress she appeared to herself to make, and dis- 
continued practice upon the instrument — a course which she after- 
ward regretted. At the time, however, it was fruitless to attempt 
to dissuade her from her decision. 

But it is time for me to relinquish the pen to other hands. 
Her readers have, in these pages, if I deceive not myself, seen the 
picture of one who, with unusual powers and great love of admira- 
tion and distinction, consecrated all, in the absorbing determination 
to be useful, at the foot of the cross, to her Lord and Savior — one 
who, fastidious in her friendships and associations, and most crav- " 
ing in her intellectual aspirations, made herself the companion and 
teacher of slow, unprepossessing, unpromising, untidy, unimpressi- 
ble children in a heathen land — one who, not hopeful by nature, 
undertook, counting the cost, a work trying above all other things 
to faith and patience, among a people marked for ages by deceit- 
fulness and immobility — one who, with the most intense attach- 
ments, tore herself from country and friends to minister to those 
who were living thousands of miles distant, " having no hope, and 
without God in the world " — one who, with no high estimate of 
human nature, labored self-sacrificingly for and among mankind 
" as in the great Taskmaster's eye " — one who, disappointed and 
betrayed, did not turn scorner or give over in discouragement the 
battle of life — one who, deeply conscious of imperfection and sin, 
never ceased to labor, to struggle, to pray, " going on unto perfec- 
tion." On all this might have been written, " The love of Christ 
constraineth," and, "I can do all through Christ who strengthens." 
At forty-one she has left us, life's work in seeming, but only in 
seeming, unfinished and broken off. " Only in seeming," I say, for 
she is not dead. " The memorial of virtue is immortal, because it 
is known with God and with men. "When it is present, men take 
example at it ; and when it is gone, they desire it. It weareth a 
crown and triumpheth forever, having gotten the victory, striving 
for undefiled rewards." 

Her schoolmate and friend, Miss Plumer, writes : 

" I remember that, when she entered school, some of the girls 
were rather disposed to ridicule her unusual height and rather 
awkward ways. But they soon desisted, when they saw how 



384 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

superior in mental power and scholarship she was to any one in 
the school. It was soon felt that we must all look to our laurels, 
for here was a girl who could easily outstrip us all. My own heart 
warmed to her from the first, and nothing ever interrupted our 
friendship for one moment from this time till the day of her death. 

" She early took a very high rank in the school, and was very 
much respected and admired. Others had acquired as much, per- 
haps, but she had the greatest natural endowments. I think this 
was felt by us all, though, in the excitement of rivalry, we might 
not then have been so willing to acknowledge it. But time, as it 
developed her character and capacity, showed how superior she 
was. In my later experience of life I can truly say I have 
found no woman her superior, if any her equal, in mental power. 
Her memory was very wonderful ; but this was the least of her 
powers. I never knew but one or two persons who so quickly 
saw into and through every subject ; nothing appeared difficult to 
her. She was very clear headed and quick in all her mental opera- 
tions, and seemed to go to the bottom of a thing almost at a glance. 
She would take a book, and in appearance be only turning it over, 
so that you would say ' here is a superficial girl.' You would, 
however, find that she knew all that was in the book, and (for she 
had a very critical mind) all its deficiencies. 

" As I look back to our school days, it does not strike me that 
she had much exuberance of spirits ; she indulged in an occasional 
frolic, but was no leader in fun. I never thought of calling her a 
lively girl (though she was uniformly cheerful), but rather a very 
thoughtful, intellectual, studious one. She was always more inter- 
ested in books than in anything else, and looked upon many of 
the pursuits of the other girls as frivolous and a waste of time, 
though I remember she did do one piece of fancy work while at 
school, and was always quick with her needle, as with everything 
else that she took in hand. Her desire for knowledge, and her 
keenness in its pursuit, were unbounded ; no task was difficult, no 
time unpropitious for study and acquirement. I never knew one 
who had a more genuine love of knowledge ; never so happy as 
when immersed in a book, and enjoying study as others did play — 
for play, indeed, it seemed to her. She was conscious of, and 
enjoyed her power, and, I think, in her youth, felt something like 
contempt for those who could not compete with her. Frivolous 
people and the idlers of society had always her hearty disdain ; 
she never felt or professed any interest in them. 

" She abhorred all the shams of society, so that, in early life, 
she was rather intolerant and hard in her judgments. Such things 
were so foreign to her own nature that she had no patience with 
them in others. She could not understand the weaknesses of 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 



385 



those who were less strong than herself. As she grew older and 
mellowed with time she had more charity, and did not wear such 
keen spectacles. At school she had few intimates. Strong in 
her attachments, capable of the most devoted affection, she loved 
the chosen few, and was perfectly indifferent to the good or evil 
opinion of others, never caring whether she pleased them or not. 

" She was so truthful, so independent and self-reliant, that she 
had little respect for the conventionalisms of life, or for those who 
were polite and attentive to all. She thought this general desire 
to please savored of insincerity, and could hardly understand how 
one could be generally polite and a favorite in society, without 
being deceitful. She would not show the slightest interest where 
she did not feel any. The isolation from society, in which she 
had been brought up, strengthened this native contempt for insin- 
cerity. She had never been taught to wear a mask, and, with one 
of her truthful and strongly marked character, it was impossible 
for her to avoid showing the contempt she often felt. Thus she 
made few friends. At this period of her life, and for a few subse- 
quent years, she generally inspired respect rather than love, but 
her few friends were warm ones, and friends for life. She did 
nothing by halves ; and where she did love and respect, it was with 
the whole strength of her warm heart, and others loved her in like 
measure. Like all strongly marked characters, she had some 
sharp corners, which were rounded off by contact with society in 
later life, and softened and tempered by deep religious feeling. 

" She had naturally strong religious tendencies, and, a few years 
later, threw into religion and its duties all the strength and devotion, 
the zeal and activity of her nature. At the time of which I have 
been speaking, she was fond of debating doctrinal points, and a knot 
of girls would often grow very warm in the defence of their own 
tenets, and were very fluent in quoting texts. "We had, perhaps, 
as great a variety of belief as can be found in an equal number of 
older and wiser people. Of course, she was very able and zealous 
in defending her side, which was then the Calvinistic. 

" After she left school and entered more into the world, she 
became a great favorite in society. Her manners softened, and 
she was very winning. The two last visits she paid me, I found 
that all my friends were delighted, not only with her mind, as they 
always had been, and her religious fervor and devote dness, but 
with her manners also. She seemed to win and please every one 
who approached her. Her sweet smile and her approbation had 
always been fascinating ; one felt that it was a great thing to 
secure her approval. The softening effects of sorrow and deep 
religious feeling made her considerate, loving, and attractive to all 
who came in contact with her. 

ir 



386 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

* * * * * * 

" She seemed to be wonderfully above the world in all the last 
years of her life. Hers was a constant growth in spirituality. She 
appeared, at times, like one inspired • we felt that she had been 
with Christ more truly than in common, every-day moods we can 
conceive possible ; at times she awed me. She was cast in a 
heroic mould, and capable of anything and everything in the cause 
of her Redeemer. No saint or martyr of old ever had more of 
the heroic element, or more truly was transported to ecstatic states, 
wherein she moved above the world, yet ever ready for its most 
trying and self-denying offices, if by so doing she might win one 
soul to Christ. 

****** 

" Alike in her religious and her intellectual developments, I 
must ever think her a very remarkable woman. 

" "When with Mr. Keith she visited me on their return from 
China, she seemed more sportive and light hearted, more truly 
happy than I had ever known her to be. They were both living 
above the world, and had perfect faith and peace. Her happiest 
days were after her marriage, when she was heart and soul 
engaged in a work which she loved, and with a companion whom 
she loved and respected with her whole warm and faithful heart. 
I never knew a more perfect marriage than this between her and 
that most saintly man, Mr. Keith. They assimilated wonderfully ; 
what one lacked the other possessed, so that they formed a perfect 
whole.' Their confidence, respect, and love for and in each other 
was beautiful to behold, 

****** 

" In spite of all her toils and sufferings, her failing health, and 
her painful death, I shall always think her a person to be envied 
more than any one I ever knew." 

The pastor of her early years, Rev. Constantine Blodgett, D. D., 
of Pawtucket, R. I., says : 

" I used to wonder at the steadfastness of her affection for 
those whom she had only loved, at first, with a child's love. But 
I see in it a happy exemplification of one of her prominent charac- 
teristics. I refer to her high appreciation of self-consistency in all 
that she had deliberately admitted to be right, and once felt to be 
congruous and incumbent. She was quick to discern in herself, 
and as quick to condemn, what was capable of being considered 
unsuited to the aims and leading purposes of her life. She was 
sensitive upon this point, and jealous over herself with a ' godly 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 



387 



jealousy.' She dreaded even to seem to have taken a step back- 
ward or downward in her great work of forming a perfect charac- 
ter and blessing the world to the glory of God. The thought of 
abandoning the missionary work was ever most painful to her. 

" Connected with this, of course, was great decision of charac- 
ter. "With a persistency of purpose and strength of will seldom 
equalled, she 'let her eyes look right on, and her eyelids look 
straight before her.' This characteristic was early developed, and 
seemed to strengthen with advancing years and under a wider 
observation of mankind, and with a deeper and more accurate self- 
knowledge. 

" She was also greatly superior to all narrow attachment to 
denominational peculiarities. With a true and intelligent love to 
her own church, and preference for its forms of service and of 
organism, she could yet delight in Christian intercourse with, and 
appreciate Christian excellence in, those who were of other com- 
munions than her own. Witness her very able and discriminating 
notice of Dr. Bridgman, in a letter which I forward to you with 
this note. * * * 

" I regret that some of her letters to me, loaned to Episcopal 
friends in Providence, are lost to us by the death of the friends 
who borrowed them. 

u I forward you such letters as I find [exhibiting her] 

in her unstudied and loving intercourse with the pastor of her 
youth, and still desiring to feel the guiding power of the hand that 
used to lift her over the hard and rough places in her girlhood. 
It was touching to that pastor's heart to discover the depth of her 
affection and the strength of her confidence amid all the changes 
of her later and most eventual life. And one of the most grateful 
reflections upon the events of a long Christian pastorate is the 
reflection that I was allowed to do something toward forming so 
noble a character, and in aiding and edifying one who was to be 
so early exalted to the service of the heavenly state. 

" For, much as we found in her to admire and love as a woman 
and a friend, it was in the depth of her piety, in the fervor of her 
devotion to the service of her Master, and the steadfastness of her 
purpose to glorify God her Father, that she won our admiration 
and our affection. She made high attainments in piety — a piety 
unaffected, child-like, and yet intelligent and thorough." 



Rev. Charles C, Sewall, her pastor in Banvers, writes : 

" I have always associated with your sister's character a pure 
self-devotion to duty, a high and noble aim, a benevolence em- 
bracing the widest interests of others, and a conscientiousness that 



388 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

guarded her own heart and life with scrupulous care. Having 
witnessed the development of her intellect and affections. I antici- 
pated for her a high position of usefulness and benevolence. The 
object to which she finally devoted her life, tested, beyond all 
question, the strength of her character and the sincerity of her 
heart. Pursued, as it was, often under personal trial and many 
discouragements, it has been accomplished far enough to win for 
her a deathless name and praise in the hearts of all who 'love 
the Lord Jesus in sincerity.' The cost has indeed been great. 
But she had counted that cost, and with it purchased a peace that 
the world could not give her, and a hope that death could not 
destroy. Laying aside the body, worn with sickness, weariness, 
and pam, she has risen to a higher life, and received ' a crown of 
glory that fadeth not away.' " 

Rev. E. W. Syle, for many years a member of the mission in 
Shanghai, in a communication marked with a most accurate and 
discriminating estimate of Mrs. Keith's character, writes me : 

" On your sister's first arrival in China, I saw in her so many 
tokens of earnest desire to grow in holiness and in usefulness, that 
I felt drawn toward her in a special degree ; so much so, that it 
was often the subject of pleasant remark at our table how con- 
stantly she and I sided with each other in those little discussions 
which used to enliven the hours of social intercourse in our happy 
missionary circle. 

" Perhaps it was this mutual good understanding which led to 
the plan of my being her tutor friend in the early days of learning 
the Chinese language. Time was precious, and the days were 
warm, so that it was found the most convenient to have our daily 
recitation during the half hour or so immediately before breakfast. 
Oh, how vividly do I recall those occasions, when she sat in her 
study room, painfully fixing the names of strange Chinese charac- 
ters, and trying to associate them with the meaning of St. Mat- 
thew's Gospel ! This was our text book, and faithfully did she do 
her arduous part of fastening in her memory the unaccustomed 
forms and unusual constructions of that uncouth language. Not a 
very rapid, she was a very conscientious student, and succeeded, 
after about six months' application, in mastering the translation of 
that Gospel, so that she could read it intelligently and fluently. 
This was counted good progress in those days, before the alpha- 
betic method of writing the local language was as generally adopted 
as it came to be afterward. Her own exertions, as well as those of 
her esteemed husband, contributed not a little to the adoption of 
this method. The books she prepared and translated in this style 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 389 

— a geography, ' Little Henry and his Bearer,' l Line upon Line/ 
and others — were very useful and much sought after. 

" Amidst our many coincidences of opinion, there was one sub- 
ject on which we maintained a very decided difference of views. 
This was as to the desirableness of instructing the pupils of the 
mission school in English, not to the exclusion of their own lan- 
guage, but in addition to it. I have always advocated it, and she, 
just as decidedly, thought it unwise. 

" The effect of this opinion, on her part, was to induce great 
and earnest diligence in the translation of books into the verna- 
cular, and in the establishment of day schools, where these were 
taught. This was her forte — the department to which she gave 
her strength, and in which she excelled. I often had occasion 
(when it devolved upon me to visit and inspect the various day 
schools connected with our mission) to remark that ' Mrs. Keith's 
school showed the marks of better training than any others ; cer- 
tainly better than my own.' She had confidence in that particular 
method of doing good, and gave her mind to it. Most certainly 
we all bade her ' God speed ' in her efforts, for we all felt how im- 
portant a department it was of the great general missionary work. 
In the foreign field, perhaps more than anywhere else, the Chris- 
tian laborer is taught the wisdom of occupying with his own 
talent, whilst he refrains from disparaging the gifts and talents of 
others. 

" I say, the missionary is ' taught ' this, which implies that it 
is a lesson some need to learn, and your sister was one of this class. 
In some things she learned slowly, illustrating a fine saying of 
Edward Irving : ' The errors of an honest mind are not easily re- 
moved, being interwoven with the consciousness of honesty, which 
is the asbestos of the spiritual world, and giveth to the fabric 
with which it is interwoven an almost indestructible character.' 

" This l honest mind ' your sister eminently possessed. It was 
more easy and more satisfactory to sustain a discussion with her 
than with four fifths of the people one meets with. She could 
appreciate an argument and keep to a point. Trifling was abhor- 
rent to her ; .even pleasantries were not always welcome, because 
of the abiding earnestness of her character. To her, the realities 
of life were matters of serious import, and she did not easily tol- 
erate anything which even tended to make light of what she felt 
to be of such great moment. So, also, her convictions of right 
and duty were of the most earnest kind, requiring her sometimes 
to exercise a good deal of self-control when others, who held views 
differing from her own, undertook to carry out those views into 
practice. 

" ' Onward and upward ' might very suitably have been her 



390 MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 

motto, for she was evermore striving for higher degrees of excel- 
lence of every kind, even to the endangering of that repose of feel- 
ing and of manner which a confiding Christian would desire to 
have and to exhibit. The experiences of life wrought slowly, but 
surely, upon the material of her natural character, and the effect 
was a gradual ripening and softening, which her friends rejoiced 
to see. 

" She was a firm and reliable friend, and where her affections 
centred, it was with great intensity, reminding one of the poet's 
lines : 

" ' Be ^Etna's snow to others, 
But be ^Etna's fire to me.' 

" I have often thought that her case illustrated strongly the 
power of religion to soothe and control the elements of a natural 
character which, without those influences, would have caused its 
possessor great unhappiness. It was in the last year or two of our 
acquaintance that this appeared most evidently and most pleasing- 
ly. We were next-door neighbors, and many were the evening 
hours I spent with my dear brother Cleveland Keith and herself, 
chiefly in conference over matters connected with our common 
work. To her, also, I was indebted for much kind attention to one 
of my little, motherless boys, who went in every morning with his 
book, to spend an hour in reading history. And now that dear 
child and his kind teacher have both departed from 

' this mortal scene 
Of broken hope and frustrated intent.' " 

The remains of Mrs. Keith were brought by ship from San 
Francisco to New York in the spring following her death. On the 
day which commemorates the Ascension of Him who said to His 
disciples, " Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to 
every creature," her body was finally committed to its native 
earth, in the hope of a glorious resurrection. In the Church of 
the Holy Trinity, Brooklyn, whence thirteen years before she had 
gone forth to the ends of the earth, in obedience to that command, 
counting not her life dear to herself, the solemn and impressive 
burial service of her beloved church was read by the rector, Rev. 
Dr. Littlejohn, who, although unacquainted with her, offered, in 
an exceedingly felicitous extemporaneous address, a most apprecia- 
tive tribute to her memory. Thence the body was followed by 



MISSIONARY LIFE. 



391 



relatives and friends, and the members of the Committee of For- 
eign Missions of the Episcopal Church, to Greenwood Cemetery, 
where it was interred in Hilly Eidge on Hillock Avenue. A 
memorial marble tablet has since been erected on the spot, with 
the following inscription : 



SACKED 

TO 

THE MEMO B Y F 

THE BET. 

CLEVELAND KEITH, M.A., 

WHOSE LIFE 

WAS DEVOTED TO 

THE WOBK OF 

A MISSIONABY IN 

CHINA, 

AND WHOSE DEATH, AMID THE TEKBOBS OF 

CONFLAGBATION AT SEA, WAS ENNOBLED 

BT HEBOIC EXEBTIONS IN BEHALF 

OF HIS FELLOW SUFFEBEBS, 

AND 

BT A> TBIUMPHANT 

FAITH IN 

OHEIST. 



S A C B E D 

TO 
THE MEMOBY OF 

CAROLINE PHEBE, 

DAUGHTEB OF 

WM. TENNEY, ESQ., 

•WHO BECAME 

A MISSIONABY TO 

CHINA IN 1850; 

WAS MABBIED IN 1854 

TO THE KEV. 

CLEVELAND KEITH; 

AND WHOSE LIFE 

OF FAITHFUL WOBK 

WAS CLOSED 

JULY 10, 1862, 

at san fbancisco, 

in califobnia. 

heb remains webe hebe bubied, 

may 14, 1863. 



The Ret. Cleveland Keith was the Son of the Rev. Reuel Keith, D.D., 

Bobn at Alexandbia, Va., Apbil 16, 1827 ; 

Okdained Deacon, July 12, 1850; Pbiest, July 10, 1851; 

Dkowned, on the Coast of Califobnia, July 27, 1862. 



The Fobeign Committee of 

The Boakd of Missions of the Pbotestant Episcopal Chubch, 

In Gbateful Remembkance of these Faithful Sebvants of Chbist, 

Caused this Stone to be Ebected. 



392 



MEMOIR OF MRS. KEITH. 



1 cannot more fitly conclude this memoir than with the follow- 
ing words, which, though found in one of the Apocryphal Scrip- 
tures, might have been written by an apostle : 

tc The Souls of the righteous are in the hand of 
God, and there shall no torment touch them. In the 
sight of the unwise they seemed to die, and their 
departure is taken for misery, and their going from 
us to be utter destruction ; but they are in peace. 
For though they be punished in the sight of men, 
yet is their hope full of immortality. and haying 
been a little chastised, they shall be greatly re- 
WARDED ; for God proved them, and found them wor- 
thy for Himself." 



the end. 



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